- [Brennan] A list of the topics, themes,
and subject matter
featured in this episode
has been included in
the video description.
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ It's our time, it's our year ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Everything's about to change ♪
♪ We're all gonna be okay ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
[Brennan only]
Hello, one and all!
Welcome back to another thrilling episode
of "Dimension 20: Fantasy
High Junior Year".
I'm your humble dungeon master,
Ally Beardsley. [Ally yells]
- He freaking got you, dude.
- Freaking got you, dude.
- Damn, I got freaking got.
- I was so enraptured here
that I didn't even
catch you catching them.
- I was so enraptured here.
- I see it all, okay?
I never miss a bit, famously.
Never absorbed in what's going on here.
Folks, I'm your humble...
[babbling intro rapidly]
Our Intrepid Heroes!
Say hi, Intrepid Heroes!
- Hi, Intrepid Heroes!
- See you at Basrar's!
- See you at Basrar's. Short episode.
- Wow, okay.
- [Brennan] Okay, moving along.
- Short "Adventuring Party".
- [Brennan] Short "Adventuring Party".
Last we left off, our Intrepid Heroes
were grinding through the fall semester
[instrumental music]
at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy.
We had some high highs, some low lows.
We discovered some
interesting information,
with Lydia Barkrock returning with data
about Bakur the demon and a
sort of ritual that had occurred
tagged onto the end of a
mystery that Riz had noted
and that had been
followed up on by Kristen
around the disappearance
of Lucy Frostblade,
who seemed to have submitted paperwork
to change her deity at the
end of the last school year
and then suddenly withdrew it.
Riz also found the last
place that she was observed
before she went missing,
although she has been
confirmed by magic to be dead.
We also discovered that
Kipperlilly Copperkettle
was getting food trucks with
some little subliminal ads
in the wax paper.
There was a sort of fraught confrontation
between Kristen and the
other presidential candidate.
- Was it a confrontation? It
was more of a conversation.
- Yeah, I really came out on top, I think.
- Yes, absolutely.
We had some incredibly
high academic achievements.
Actually, A+'s across the board,
save for our party cleric.
- I'll take it!
- Hey, if you're failing, a C is an A+.
- A C is really good for Kristen.
- Also a C in barbarian.
- A bit of a C.
- But huge achievements
in your artificer classes,
and we also had huge
achievements in warlock classes
as Fig actually went on a
quick impromptu field trip
to Hell with her warlock class.
- They're building a recording studio.
- That sounded so sick, honestly.
- [Brennan] Honestly, so sick.
- So sick.
- And licking Baby?
- [Brennan] Licking Baby.
- Fabian played the bass.
- I don't know how much
to put my foot down about that.
- I think that needs to be the only merch
that comes out of this season.
- Everybody lick Baby.
- Just a shirt that says,
"Lick me," and in the back,
"Everybody lick Baby."
- No context. No picture of Baby.
- Everybody lick Baby.
We also saw a new sort of, like,
the coolest kid on
campus, Fabian Seacaster,
double A+, captain of the Owlbears,
running study hall at Seacaster Manor.
Never mind the rapidly
piling boxes of takeout
stinking it up in the kitchen.
- Hey, you know, we clean those out
right before everyone comes over.
I have to spend the day with them.
- As well as our Elven
Oracle having to fend off
ancient high elves in
search of arcane wisdom
at her job at Basrar's,
working as a waitress
helping to serve that ice cream.
What incredible...
It's finally time for Basrar to hire help,
given that he has literally no overhead.
He generates the ice cream
from another dimension.
- Oh.
- That's been all profit,
except for what he pays on the
mortgage for the shop itself.
Incredible.
- His books are good.
- His books are good. He's doing well.
- My man's in the black.
- [Brennan] In the black, okay?
We return back to Mordred Manor.
And actually, I want to
confirm with all of you
as we come back here
and find you, on the day of
the Frostyfaire Folk Festival,
a little sort of loose
thread of a connection
between something that is
occurring at Gorgug's house,
occurring at the Thistlespring Tree,
that you had seen some
information that your mom
was working on connected
to, but got away from you.
Junior year, pretty f*cking busy, g*ng.
And speaking of how busy it is,
we also introduced last episode
our system for academic
stress here in junior year.
Some of our students barely scathed
[faint tense music]
by the monster that is cortisol
as Fig began some paladin classes,
both with the paladin
teacher Halo St. Croix,
and also some tutoring with
Porter Cliffbreaker who,
due to your incredible attunement
with the principles of barbarianism
if not any of the actual class features-
- [Ally] That's true, actually.
- Porter signed your MCAT
when your actual bard teacher
flew into the sky, weeping.
- I called him sir.
- Yeah, finally you give
him a shred of respect.
- A shred of respect as he's like,
"I have no idea why.
What have I ever done?"
However, the stress only
continued to compile
with Adaine and Riz each taking on
two stress tokens in the last downtime,
and Kristen, Gorgug, and
Fabian each taking on three.
- Riz took one on for me.
- Two.
- Yeah.
- [Adaine] Both of those were for you.
- [Brennan] Let me be clear.
Riz, to his own devices, would
be completely unstressed.
- This is all normal.
- Kristen generated five stress tokens.
- [Siobhan] For a C. Five
stress tokens for a C.
- And four of them were
just bam, right in a row.
- Bam, bam, bam.
- For those clues at the end.
- For those clues at the
end, but great clues you got.
I'd like to know just
mechanically, for people watching,
where that stress actually
ended up for everybody.
- Right.
- I was gonna game it,
but then Emily made me
feel bad about it, so-
- No, I didn't! I didn't say
anything to you about it!
- No, you were like, "I'm
gonna take real things,"
and then I was like, "Well, I can't
take disadvantage in-"
- Okay, so it was my existence.
- It was merely Emily's example,
committing to the system.
- Yes, Emily did such a good job
that I felt like I had to step up my game
and take things that actually affected me.
- Well, I took it- 'cause you
said if we weren't proficient,
I had one, so you said
if we weren't proficient,
we had to take two, so I
wanted to take Insight.
In the "Adventuring Party",
I said I think I'm in a place
where I'm not listening to my gut.
All the stress is making
me very indecisive.
So that was Insight,
and then I think also,
this paladin curiosity,
there's more pressure on it,
and it's not coming to me
as naturally as normal,
so I think Religion is gonna
be the other disadvantage.
- Love it.
- I've never wanted to be
good at something before.
I've just accidentally been good at it.
So that's why. There's stress with it now.
- It's the intermediate slump where you go
from beginner's luck into
actually learning technique
and having to get good at something.
- 'Cause there's stakes. I
need to do this for Kristen.
- Zac, where's Gorgug's stress going?
- So I have three stress
tokens, meaning...
I think I'm gonna do
one in Initiative rolls.
- Oh.
- 'Cause I'm already...
I never roll good on Initiative anyway.
I feel like that's fine.
And then I'm gonna do
the lobster bisque.
- [Siobhan] You get a salad with that.
- Would you guys have some?
- Yeah.
- [Lou] I'd have a nibble.
- Yeah, I'd share a lobster
bisque with you any day, Zac.
- Great, great. I'll get some straws.
Disadvantage on two skills,
so I think I might also do Insight.
- Hell yeah, hell yeah.
- Go back to Gorgug's roots of just never-
- Not ever being good.
- [Emily] Wow.
- [Lou] Regressing.
- And then disadvantage in Deception.
- Okay. So Gorgug,
you're taking Initiative.
Do you have proficiency in
either Deception or Insight?
- Oh, it has to be something I have-
- It's either got to be a
skill you're proficient in,
or if you're picking skills
you're not proficient in,
you gotta pick two.
- I'm not proficient in either of those.
- You've got to take both. That's one.
- Okay, then disadvantage probably
on Charisma saving throws.
- Hell yeah.
- Ooh.
- That lack of initiative,
you are a distracted, stressed kid.
- What? Okay.
- Hell yeah. What?
Adaine.
- I'm also gonna do Initiative,
'cause I feel like Adaine's
just in that, like,
[gasps] "Huh? What?"
Very much in her own head.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- And then I'm also gonna do two skills
that I'm not proficient in.
I'm gonna do Intimidation
and Persuasion, 'cause
I just feel like she's not
socially on her game right now.
- If I want to impress people,
I'm gonna summon a bunch of mephits.
I'm not gonna talk to anybody.
- I just can't talk to anybody right now.
- Perfect. Fabian?
- I'm gonna take disadvantage
on all my tool proficiencies.
There's just a bunch of half done
calligraphy and glassblowing.
- Your glassblowing!
- My shop is a f*cking mess right now.
I need to clean out the kiln.
Just haven't gotten around to it.
- This guy has so many unfinished hobbies.
- Several rooms in my house
just haven't been touched.
So I'll take disadvantage on those.
I'll take disadvantage in
History and Investigation,
and then I will take
disadvantage in Perception.
- Ooh, one of your actual proficiencies.
- Yes.
- Incredible. Kristen?
- Disadvantage on Initiative.
Disadvantage on Wisdom saving throws.
Disadvantage on Medicine.
- Hell yeah. Boom, meaty choices.
- She's not helpful for the party at all.
She has no magic,
disadvantage on Medicine.
- And you can't cast spells.
- Why even have a cleric?
- Damn.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- 'Cause you're the
coolest girl in school!
- Right? Right?
- [Emily] That's true!
Who needs a cleric when
you have a president?
- Exactly.
- You're right!
- Your class is "President."
- We're just gonna go to SW5E and steal
the scholar class again and
just make you a politician.
- Please, please!
- Please, please. And Riz?
- I took disadvantage in four skills.
I took disadvantage in Perception,
because I feel like Riz is
still good at Investigation
and everything, but
he's really in his head,
so he's probably not
noticing things around him.
Survival, not taking good care of himself.
Athletics, he was already not athletic,
but he's even less so, and then Deception,
'cause I don't think he could pull off
lying right now while he's so high strung.
- So you've picked four of
your non-proficient skills
that are all disadvantage now.
- Yes.
- Meaty, meaty choices across the board.
Well, g*ng, at Mordred Manor,
you see a pile of arcane
tomes and other things
that were saved by Lydia's
old adventuring party,
and the first thing that
sort of occurs to you
is that they are written
in Giant, as Lydia says,
"Well, this is everything they had.
You know, I can try to help you...
I wasn't necessarily the most on the ball
with this stuff during the adventure,
but I remember a lot of
conversations about it.
So, you know, if there's
anything I can do to help."
- I can cast Comprehend
Languages as a ritual,
and as long as I'm touching
the text, I can read it.
- Amazing. Adaine, you
guys can grab this stuff.
You can probably move it up
to your little wizard's tower
at Mordred and start
putting the stuff out.
You have your ritual circle all
set up there.
- Before we leave Lydia,
can I ask her if she's heard of Ruvina,
the god that Lucy was following?
- Ruvina.
Yeah.
Yeah, that name did come up
in the adventure at some...
It wasn't like a big...
I'm sorry, this is the kind of...
This is why I wish I was more
on the ball with this stuff.
- No, it was a long time ago.
They're just a god from the
Mountains of Chaos, and-
- That's what I think it was.
That name came up, not
as a point of focus,
but it's from the same region
that Bakur's deity, I think-
- Is from.
- From, yeah.
- Okay, well... Yeah.
Let's take a look.
- Okay, so rival gods, maybe?
- Mountains of Chaos.
- [Murph] Mountains of Chaos.
Okay. Thank you, Lydia.
- You can spend a little
while to cast it ritually.
It will take you a chunk of time.
It's the middle of the day.
You've got Frostyfaire later tonight.
- Yeah, it's a minute per page.
Can I grab Riz and go up and turn around
my calendar that I have on my wall,
and it's just a blank corkboard?
- Great.
- Hell yeah.
- I'll go up there too
and just give you both
as many Help actions as I can.
- Hell yeah, I think the whole g*ng
can tromp on upstairs and jump to it.
This feels like the biggest
payoff of not being sure
that Lydia was even gonna
be able to get this stuff.
Go ahead, and I'm gonna say
there's so many materials here,
Adaine with that Comprehend Languages,
go ahead and roll either Arcana,
History, or Investigation with advantage,
and then because Adaine has
to translate for everybody,
you guys will use Help actions
to offset the disadvantage
because you guys can't
read the text yourself.
So if there's any other
checks you wanna roll
that are Religion,
Investigation, whatever,
go ahead and roll them straight.
- I'll roll Investigation.
- Cool.
- So I'm rolling with advantage?
- [Brennan] You're rolling with advantage.
- Okay, great.
- I assume I'm not there?
Is it the morning?
- It's morning, but
you might have come by.
If they texted you, you
could have swung by.
- Yeah, I think we would've.
- Yeah.
- Unless you need to
help your parents set up,
but I'd imagine they
already did everything.
- And actually, let me know
what your rolls are real quick.
- I got a 17 History.
- Do you want a Bardic?
- I would love a Bardic.
- 21 Investigate.
- If I have advantage
in History or Religion,
it's still straight, 'cause
we would have disadvantage?
- Yes, with a Bardic-
- With a Bardic from
Fig, I got a dirty 20.
- Dirty 20 on your History.
- On my History, yeah.
- Okay.
- And I got a 21 Investigate.
- [Brennan] 21 Investigate, awesome.
Kristen, what are you looking at?
- 11.
- 11 for Religion. Okay, copy that.
So you guys are taking time
to pore over the books.
Maybe someone shoots Gorgug a text.
Adaine, as you begin to read with
some of that help from Fig,
you feel your stomach gurgle.
- Oh no.
[gurgling sound]
- [Brennan] You feel your stomach gurgle-
- Adaine, can I help you?
- [Brennan] Can you go ahead
and roll a d100 for me?
- Is anybody feeling weird
after that breakfast?
- Hm, no, I thought that was good.
[stressful music]
- Yeah, I think I'm feeling fine.
- I got a 91.
- 91, okay.
As you go to study, you
are looking at the book,
and as you lean in a little bit closer,
there's something moving
on the page, in the binding,
in the shadow of where the pages
sort of fold into each other.
And it looks almost like it
could be text or writing.
As you blow into it,
you blow thousands of
dust mites into your eyes.
[Siobhan coughing]
You stumble back, slam your
head into the bunk bed,
and one of the railings comes loose,
hits you in the head, and
knocks you unconscious.
- Holy sh*t!
- I'll do a Medicine check!
- Quick, Kristen, do a Medicine check!
- Go ahead and roll with disadvantage.
Let me know if any of the
dice come up under an eight.
- No, no, we're good.
- Okay, cool.
- 12.
- Jesus.
- You go stabilize Adaine.
- 21.
- [Brennan] 21.
As you do so,
all of you hear Kristen's stomach
growl and gurgle as well.
[gurgling sounds; magical chimes]
- Is it contagious?
- And Kristen, you get a sudden
flash of red.
You are back in the wizard's
food court for a second.
You see glass and red light.
[fast-paced music]
You hear a scream of a familiar voice
and sudden silence.
[music stops suddenly]
And then you look into Adaine's open eyes
as you are reviving her,
and you see a reflection
in her eyes of blood splattered
on the ground somewhere.
- Is the voice Cassandra?
- It is not Cassadra's,
but you cannot delve deeper into that.
It's a voice you recognize,
but you can't get more
information about it.
- Okay, Cassandra had
someone coming after her.
Did it seem like that?
'Cause I've been thinking
about the fact that she's doubt
would completely destabilize
the entire pantheon, right?
If gods get their power
from faith, and she's doubt,
she might have had a
mark on her externally-
- Interesting.
- ...from your ministrations.
- [Ally] Yeah.
- Yeah, maybe it's not your fault at all.
Maybe it's completely
nothing to do with you.
- I think I... Yeah, I
definitely k*lled her,
but I do wonder-
[players snickering]
Okay, okay. Wait, wait,
'cause this kinda feels like thematically
what everything is f*cking
feeling like at school.
Aguefort represented nuance and weirdness
and he's gone, and now it's
extremely strict and by the book.
- Yeah, without doubt,
you just have rigid faith,
which shatters and has no flexibility.
- Is it possible that
things are being changed
right now by Aguefort being back in time?
- Oh my gosh, yeah.
- That he's changing things
in the past that are affecting
things in the present?
- He's microwaving a burrito and
it's ruining everything.
- Also, can we talk for a second about how
insane that was?
- Yes, wait.
I wanted to let you guys
get your thoughts out.
What the f*ck just happened?
- Dust mites,
and then you just got knocked out?
- I'm assuming this has just
been in a box for, like-
- Fig was just helping you read a book.
- Did everyone else get
shrimp vibes from that?
- That was shrimp vibes.
- A nasty chain reaction?
- Yeah! It's me, okay?
Look, my Bardics are cursed, I think.
I think I'm cursed.
- Can I do an Arcana check on Fig?
- [Brennan] Do an Arcana check right now.
- I lay down like a patient on a table.
[dice rolling]
- Yes, I'm also going to do an
Arcana check. - 24. I got a 24.
- Yeah, I'll Investigate Fig.
- Everyone Arcana check me!
- 21.
- How yogurt-y is she smelling right now?
- As you guys put these
texts and tomes to the side
and begin to Investigate Fig-
- [Murph] I know what I could do.
The Gregorian Necktie can
do Detect Evil and Good.
- Oh.
- Oh, well.
- Outside of just the-
- As you do the necktie,
it beeps, and a fiendish
aura surrounds Fig,
not her own innate one.
- Okay. Yeah, no, you're cursed for sure.
- Yeah, I think whoever-
- Totally cursed.
I put Wretchrot on it.
I'm trying to find out-
- Oh, good.
- Yeah, yeah.
I deputized Wretchrot.
- [Siobhan] Reliable.
- I'm trying to find out,
I think it's whoever
owned the pride armor.
- [Murph] We don't know who that is.
- I'm paying, maybe, a
debt that Gilear owes.
- Yogurt!
- Yes?
- I was thinking it's 'cause
he was a straight man wearing pride armor.
- Yogurt!
Yeah, the pride armor was rainbow.
- I'm an ally! The A stands for ally!
- [Brennan] We move across
town to Little Branch
and the Thistlespring Tree.
- Oh, cute!
- [Ally] Wait, speaking of.
- [Siobhan] Yeah, speaking
of. Is that the Cubby's house?
- [Ally] Oh yeah, absolutely.
- [Siobhan] Hobbit hole?
- Yes, the little anarchy sign.
- [Siobhan] It's got to be, right?
- That's the Cubbys.
Yes, absolutely.
You can see some of the
junk from the tinkerers.
We're in the Thistlespring yard here.
- Cute.
- You wake up.
There's tons of people out in the yard
as you wake up this morning, Gorgug.
You see there's a giant
stage getting set up.
There are so many animals everywhere.
There's skunks and bears and deer,
'cause druids and rangers
are the main people
that are coming to the
Frostyfaire Folk Festival.
You see there's a bunch of people
that already have little drum circles
with fiddles and guitars
and people just sort of like
♪ Lai-dee-dai, lai-dee-dai,
lai-dee-dai, lai-dee-dai ♪
- Gorgug's just looking
out his window like,
guess it's that all day, huh?
- Wilma and Digby are downstairs.
They're powering through
breakfast. They've got clipboards.
There's some people with surveillance.
They're like, "All right,
this is gonna be great!
This is such an honor, to be able to host.
Gorgug! Morning, bud! How you doing?"
- Hey, I'm doing good. I'm, like...
This is just maybe a question for Brennan,
but have we had this festival here before?
- No, your parents go this every year.
- Yeah.
- But hosting it's a huge deal.
The festival actually kind
of moves all over Solace.
They've sometimes gone up
to Ashgrove or the Dunefort
or other places to try
to participate in this,
but yeah, Frostyfaire
bounces all over the country.
- So Mom and Dad, I feel, you know...
I'm here to help with
whatever this is, you know?
- Absolutely, absolutely.
Well, you know, we tried
to throw some tarps
over the projects that
are kinda halfway done.
We're getting some blankets.
I mean, people are gonna
bring their own blankets.
We're getting some blankets
out on the hillside, facing the stage.
The stage is right out the back door,
at the bottom of the hill.
It's gonna be great.
We got all these great-
and kind of an interesting, we have...
Have you ever heard of emotional music?
- Emotional? Are you
talking about emo music?
- [Brennan] Yeah!
- Yeah.
It's pretty cool.
Actually a type of music I think is cool.
- [Brennan] Oh, well, great! We love it.
- [offended] You're out of the band.
- I mean, it's okay!
- There's a band coming that your...
I mean, I know that Fig
is not touring right now,
but Lola Embers got in touch with us,
your old, you know, she represented you
by way of representing Fig.
- I was really just kinda hanging on.
It felt like I was
sailing behind the boat.
- Hey, you're a great drummer!
This is our rock star sports team kiddo.
- I'm okay.
- With the straight As!
- Mostly.
- Well, you know, but that's
the thing, you know? Well, hey!
And you actually hear a
knock on the door and you see
that your biological parents
walk in, Roz and Gorbag.
Gorbag is like, "Hey,
Gorgug!" Gives a big hug.
Roz says hi to Wilma. Hi,
hi! Coming in to say hello!
And they're sort of
excited to be here as well,
'cause you remember Gorbag was a musician.
- Are you guys playing today?
- Yeah! Well, I'm just
jamming. I just like to come.
There's a drum circle that's
been going for 40 years,
since the start of Frostyfaire.
- That's too long.
- What happens is, the
festival's only once a year,
but every year, the last
guy or gal or person
who's drumming at the drum circle,
they take a small little
drum and they keep it going
all year long, kinda
like the Olympic torch.
- Finger drumming!
- Finger drum.
So the drum circle hasn't
stopped in 40 years.
- What would happen if it stopped?
- He starts to cry.
- No, hey! Hey, it's okay!
- Music is a part of a tradition.
It's something that unites all of us.
You see Digby puts a little arm
around his calf, he's so tall.
Digby goes, "Yeah, don't
even worry about a C.
That's, you know..."
You see that Gorbag says,
"A C? I thought it was..."
And he looks at it and
says, "Porter give you a C?"
- Yeah.
- He almost f*ck' failed me, man.
- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I don't think we're
speaking the same language,
to be honest. I don't know.
- You see Wilma looks and says,
"Have you tried making
him a little cup of tea
and sitting down and
saying, hey, you know,
I feel like I'm letting you down
and I wanna know how to do a better job
so that I can put a smile on that face?"
- Not exactly that.
I've tried maybe something kinda similar.
I think I have to go
a completely different
direction, honestly.
- Baked good.
- It's not so completely...
Yeah, I'll try baked goods.
I'll try that, I'll try that.
- All right. You see
Gorbag says, "Well, listen.
I know you're Mr. Study right now,
you're taking four classes at once,
but if you got a second,
I think me and Dig,
me and Wilma and Dig and Roz
might be down to that drum circle.
Maybe you grab some bongos or, you know,
get something from the kit.
Get a little snare. All drums welcome."
- Okay, yeah, I'll give it a shot.
I can bring my snare, just head on down.
- Yeah.
[both mimicking snare drums]
Everyone just starts tapping around,
and Wilma goes, "There's
music everywhere!"
- Specifically in that drum circle.
- You start getting texts from friends
that there's stuff
happening over at Mordred.
- Adaine threw up?
- What the hell?
As you're heading out, by the way,
Wilma says, "Gorgug, would you mind?
There's some stuff under the tarps
that we'd love to move into the basement."
You see Digby goes,
"Wilma, we'll move that
stuff. That's okay."
You see he says, "We just, you know,
just to let you know, bud, you know,
you were gone for a couple months,
and we had some
friends over while you were gone."
- Swingers.
- "For a while, over the summer.
And we were working on some
projects, and we had some gear."
- Swingers.
- "And we had some gear
around the tree."
- Sex swing.
- "But we're gonna have a lot of guests
and strangers and people around,
so we're just gonna throw
all that in the cellar.
I just want you to know
that you're okay to invite-
we're not gonna embarrass you,
we're not gonna, you know,
put you in a weird...
But just, there's some
gizmos and gadgeroos
that gotta get put in the
ol' basement-eroonie."
- But you guys got that, right?
- Yeah, we're gonna take-
- I don't have to go...
I don't have to help with that, right?
- You see Wilma says, "And
I shouldn't have asked."
- Are they here?
- I'm just stressed.
- Are those friends gonna
be at this festival?
- There's gonna... I wanna say-
- What the f*ck are we doing?
- No! No, no!
You see he goes, "Whoa, whoa!"
- Sorry, I just-
- You see Gorbag says, "Gorgug,
it's not a weird- look-"
- Gorgug's eyes are darting between
my biological parents and-
- Biological parents and your...
You see Gorbag goes,
"Look, all the stuff
they're talking about,
that's not what the festival is about.
Look, the festival
celebrates bodies, you know?
There's a nudity tent,
but that's not sexual.
That's just about admiring each other."
- So I'm just, like, having
to study a lot lately.
And I'm not sure that I'm equipped
for this conversation right now.
- Listen, bud, you don't have
to go in the nudity tent.
- I know! I know I don't!
- Okay, but again, it's non-sexual.
It's just about a place to be free-
- There's just a tent
where people are nude.
Just sitting in a hot tent together.
- Well, the music's playing
and it's just a place to...
You know, we live in a
pretty stifling society,
in a lot of ways, and there's nothing-
- And they feel free in a big tent.
- Yeah, because we wanna be cognizant
of people's boundaries.
- Okay.
- But, you know, clothing...
I didn't sign a contract
when I was born saying
I'd wear clothes forever.
There's nothing wrong with a body.
What does any one of us have
that no one's ever seen before?
- That's true.
I guess I just didn't
really think that much
about what this festival was.
- It's great. Music's great.
- I guess my friends are coming, too.
- As they sort of talk about all that,
you get ready to head out.
Give me a Tinkers' Tools
check on your way out.
[Zac blows on his dice]
- [Lou] There it is.
- [Ally] Get the bad ones out.
- [Lou] Get the bad ones out.
- Oh, that was close to a 20.
- 21.
- This dice has been performing.
- I think as you're walking out,
thinking about that different approach,
you're looking at all the junk tied up
under different tarps
and stuff in the yard.
I think you just come
to a moment of looking
at some of the machinery
and thinking about Henry,
your artificer teacher, talking about how
he's never seen anyone
work at a problem before
as hard as you are
working and not solve it.
And I think you're thinking
about the disparity
between rage and concentration
and just looking at some
machinery on your way out,
and there's some little glimmer
of an edge of inspiration in your mind,
almost something you could catch onto,
after this first semester
of how well everything's been working.
And you see circuitry
carrying electricity through the tree.
And just for a moment, see
that current like a pulse,
and think about your own
pulse as you're raging.
There's a moment where you see
some kind of synchronicity there,
and then it goes away
and the day continues.
- Just writes down a
little note to himself
and crumples it up with rage,
but then straightens it out
and puts it in his pocket.
- Hell yeah. You arrive back at Mordred,
and we can come back to
this discussion here,
post-Adaine coming back from the brink
in this weird moment with Kristen here.
Let's resolve these checks here.
We had a History and an Investigate,
which were at a 20 and a 21.
Is there anything in these
books you're looking for
with a bent or focus
to your History check?
- I'm looking to see if
there's any connection to
Lucy, and any connection to Cassandra.
- On a 20 History,
you see that there is a record
in one of these ancient tomes of Ruvina
having given a wedding gift
to Cassandra.
- Cassandra was married? Is married?
What was the gift?
- It was a Bridle of Frost,
that she might command
a team of fiery horses.
- Hmm, 'cause she's twilight, dusk.
- But again, there's
a weird thing in Spyre
that sort of has to do with
having all these different gods
running around where the pantheon of gods
all sorta exist side by side all at once,
all at the same time, so
there's a big cosmic soup
of all these divinities running
around. And in the text,
you see that Cassandra and
Galicaea were traveling together.
The sisters, moon and night,
are sisters traveling side by side.
They're obviously elven
deities, or started that way,
even though Cassandra had a lot more...
Cassandra was almost more of the fey,
and then Galicaea was
more of the elves, right?
But there's a thing where them and Sol,
which is Helio's father,
the god of the sun-
because Helio's actually the
god of corn specifically,
although he has sun domain
stuff in there as well.
Sol and Galicaea and Cassandra
all traveled to the great mountains,
and Ruvina gave a
wedding gift to Cassandra.
- Was Cassandra marrying Sol?
- That would be crazy.
- Or Galicaea.
- That would be so crazy.
- Well, they're sisters.
- Or was Cassandra marrying a giant?
- The gods marry-
- Oh.
- So that's the only thing you find.
You find this in one of the tomes
that is made up of a collection
of scraps and palimpsests
and other various things that are like...
You don't have the original
scroll this is a part of.
This is a salvaged bit
of a longer, probably-
it's written in the style of a saga.
It's rhyming couplets.
There's kennings in it
and stuff like that.
- Are there any other notes alongside it
from Lydia's former teammates?
- You feel that this
may have been compiled
by one of Lydia's teammates,
that this book was scraps they found.
This one falls
outside of the margins.
There's way more stuff
written about other things.
This is definitely included,
which means that it's significant,
but it didn't crack the case for them.
- Got it.
- Kristen, this brings me back to...
I mean, think about it.
Doubt, Cassandra, brought
you away from Helio,
and you were supposed to be his chosen.
- Whoa.
- Literally, doubt weakened him.
- Who's Helio's mother?
Do you know that?
- I think I would.
- Yeah, you would know.
In the mythology of it,
Helio's mother was a mortal.
- Oh, interesting.
- So the only reason that
I can think that Cassandra
would be being married in these mountains,
it would most likely be to a giant, maybe.
- [Emily] Yeah, I think so.
- Or one of the gods of
the giants, like Ruvina.
- [Murph] Right.
- Somebody that's related to her.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- You had a 21 Investigate.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] What was Riz
looking for in these books?
And I think Gorgug,
you arrive as this
conversation is happening.
- I think I would be-
- Hey, Gorgug.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- [Lou] Uh, okay.
- Okay.
- How's it going, Riz?
- I think I'm looking to
find out more about this god
that died and that we
can't say the name of.
I guess I'm looking if Ruvina had any
close allies, or more
importantly, maybe enemies.
Or if there was this wedding,
if somebody wasn't there,
if somebody was spurned or something.
- Yeah. On that Investigation,
I think you are going to find some stuff.
I'm gonna say that that Investigation's
going to translate into a
Religion check with advantage.
Only you can make it,
'cause it's as a result
of you investigating this stuff clearly.
- Do you want a Bardic?
- I can...
Hey, The Ball? Let me help.
- Okay, yeah.
- Can I have a Bardic?
- [Murph] It's just the dust mites.
- Do you want some help?
- I'm a little worried
about the dust mites!
- Here! I start to play.
- Oh no! It's okay!
- If you see me wink, you get a Bardic.
- Okay, okay.
- Can my Bardic just be that I run screen?
No, no, look at me. No!
- Don't you want it? Don't you want it?
- Okay, right off the bat, dirty 20.
Should I throw this on there and try to-
- Yeah, why not?
- Come on, baby. Let's cook.
- 26.
- We stay eatin'!
- Hell yes.
- A feast.
- So afraid of dust mites. Are there...
- So I think you're going
through Rana's stuff,
which is all the actual, the poetic...
She was the cleric of the group, right?
And you're going through Cormyr's stuff.
Cormyr was a sorcerer,
but you actually see,
for someone that was innately magical,
Cormyr had very meticulous
notes, beautiful script,
and has something written
out which is a long...
You can tell it's a
copying of another text.
As you arrive at it, it's basically,
he wrote a glossary
literally for the possibility
that they would all die on this mission,
and another group of adventurers
would find this stuff
and could pick up where they left off.
- We should remember to
do that in the future.
- Put it on the board.
Put it on the board!
- A for Adaine.
- You find-
- That's my name! What?
- I think it's the information, not us.
- Oh, well, how holistic is it?
- Catch up. Stop thinking about-
- I texted you this stuff, man!
- Got it.
- What you see is,
there is the beginning of
a text that is written-
and I think that... Adaine,
go ahead and give me one more-
actually, an Arcana,
'cause you rolled History.
Give me an Arcana real quick.
- I did roll History.
- Sexy.
- [Brennan] You are able to point out-
you know that what you're
looking at is not a spell.
But Adaine, you're familiar that there's
lots of kinds of magical
writing that are not spells.
There's ways of annotating things
that are magical laws or precepts,
and what you are seeing here
is a dually arcane
and religious axiom of
magical law of Spyre.
And what you see is it
says, "Obliviati Mori."
- Remember you will die?
Or forget you will die.
- Clerics call it Obliviati Mori,
but you see that as an arcane rule,
it is called the Law of
Theothanatic Silence.
- So that's when a god
dies, you forget their name.
- Yes. But you see that he's writing down
all the mortal stuff you already know.
When a god dies, you forget their name.
When a god dies, they're
scrubbed from existence.
When a god dies, da da da da da.
But you guys also know that
for all that being said,
Yes! is dead because
nobody believes in it,
but people remember Yes!, right?
- Oh, we all remember Yes!.
- You all remember Yes!.
- I'll never forget that thing.
- They had a cogent philosophy
that we comprehended deeply.
- Maybe we should forget, though.
- Just to be clear, when I was talking
about becoming a paladin, it was for Yes!.
- Wait, what? No, no!
- Wait, for Yes! or for Yes??
- I'll never forget that
thing sliding out of-
- Yeah, sliding out of that hole.
- Just so wet.
- That thing getting pooped out of space.
- Basically, there is an intense series
of rules and restrictions,
but you see this rule
doesn't apply to mortals.
It applies to the gods.
- So the gods also forget the name.
- They do not.
- Oh! That's why we remember
Yes!, 'cause we're all gods!
- You're all gods!
Obliviati Mori is a precept
that binds deities
to not evangelize
or even speak of fallen
deities to mortals.
In other words, it's
written out as a precept
that basically, if a god
succumbs to some form of death,
they become archfey, they
become a demon or a celestial
rather than a full
deity, if they only have
a few dozen followers and
another god kills them
and they don't have the
strength to withstand that,
or if literally, in
the most extreme cases,
their name is fully forgotten,
other deities are not allowed
to effectively remind
mortals of their existence.
- So does that mean that the
person who wrote the note
that is supposed to be from
Lucy was actually a god?
- It makes it very unclear
who could have written that.
Because you're in this weird
position where you guys
can all write Yes!, you
can write Cassandra.
This god is one whose name
has actually been forgotten
or scrubbed by every single mortal.
But that would mean that if
someone was able to write it,
they would know it, but
they would have to have
a way of writing it without
breaking Obliviati Mori.
There's two pieces of
information you guys can glean
from that right away, the first of which
is that belief and worship and
the weird, tenuous alliances
between gods where some of
them are from the same region
but have conflicting domains,
and some gods have the
same domain as other gods
but are still ascendent in different areas
or for different kinds of
cultures or anything like that,
all the gods have this agreement
that is basically like,
for lack of a better word,
we're all playing the game,
and if your f*cking buddy or your pal
or someone you love loses fair and square,
you're not allowed to go to
your mortal worshipers and say,
"Hey, can we peel off a few followers
to my buddy who's having
a hard time right now?"
It's basically like a law of,
you are not allowed to
root for each other.
You are not allowed to
pull for each other.
You're not allowed to put a
thumb on the scale in that way.
If your flocks choose to
have you work together,
you can work together, but
when a god dies, that's it.
You're not allowed to
cheat by reminding mortals
that there was this other deity.
- But if we went and asked
another deity about this god,
would they then be able to tell us?
Or would we have to
specifically say their name?
- According to Obliviati Mori,
they would not be able to tell you.
But the law is a law,
which immediately to you,
Adaine, would tell you,
well, any rule has ways
of working around it.
- So it's a law, but laws can be broken.
- Yeah. And there might be
enormous arcane penalties
for so doing, but effectively,
you know that there are dead gods.
There are rules concerning
how the other gods
can refer to those dead gods to mortals,
if they are even allowed to.
And to a certain degree...
But again, the second,
biggest thing is, of course,
this wouldn't be a thing unless gods
could always remember dead gods.
- So do we have a sense of,
when Lydia and her crew
were on this mission,
they never knew the
name of this god, right?
Or did they at one point know it?
- Lydia can confirm for you, she's like,
"We never knew the name of the god.
We knew Bakur, the fiend, but-"
- Even though gods can't say the name,
the name could still
exist out there in texts.
- Exactly, which is
why a lot of, you know,
if a god is trying to
be crushed or scoured,
you try to break their
idols, erase their texts,
burn the holy texts,
all that kind of thing.
But theoretically, if
we had found the name
written somewhere on text,
that would have done it.
- Then it makes sense why
Cassandra said that thing
about being like, I thought you were dead.
- [Emily] I thought you were dead.
- Mm.
- So if you had to get around
it, maybe a way to do it
would be to possess someone or something.
Is it possible that Lucy...
- Was possessed?
- ...was possessed?
- All the Rat Grinders
are suspiciously quiet.
No one's grieving Lucy
or anything like that.
- Yeah, it's weird, right?
- So the Rat Grinders are in
on this, in some capacity.
And I even think it's possible that,
the way that Ivy reacted to me,
either she saw through my disguise
and so she was being cheeky,
or Lucy's around somehow
and they've just found
another way to proselytize-
- 'Cause she did beckon to you, right?
- Yeah, she was like,
"Okay, we're meeting up."
- Yes, like a possession thing,
where somebody's, the god is Lucy and-
- What happened to that
armor after Gilear had it?
- What happened with the armor?
- He'd stolen it from Hell,
and he just returned it to you
when you guys got back from spring break.
- Where is it?
- So it should be in Hell?
- Yeah, the Armor of Pride is back
in the Hall of the Armors of Sin.
- [Murph] Okay.
- So the Armor of Pride
is just down in Hell.
- And all the demons are
archfey are fallen deities?
- Unclear.
Some great celestials and
fiends are created by gods
in their status as celestials or fiends.
Bakur was created by a god
that he could no longer name,
right, and so there's certain-
But it looks like some divinities,
some archfey or some celestials
or some things like that,
are gods who, their worship is
waning and waning and waning
or their divinity is waning
and waning and waning,
and they just make a decision
to, rather than face death,
become something that relies
a little bit less on faith.
- God, I wish Ayda was
here. She was so good.
- Yeah.
- Oh, but maybe...
Isn't there a door to her
library through Mordred Manor?
- You guys can go to
Leviathan whenever you want.
The Compass Points is right through a door
on the landing of the stairwell.
- Do some research there?
- Maybe. Maybe I'll just pop through.
We've got a little bit of time before...
- Just so you guys know,
I feel like maybe we mentioned this,
but Ruben's playing at the festival today.
So if we're worried
about those guys, maybe-
- I'm definitely gonna
be going in my alter emo.
- Yeah, for sure. Your alter emo.
- [Ally] Alter emo.
- So good.
- And there is something
going on with that,
because my mom is researching a case.
That there was some kinda fraud.
- Do you wanna get it?
I mean, music is a way to
cajole people into feelings
and get swept up in a frenzy.
- Just so you guys know, also,
there's this tent, right?
- It looks like a normal tent-
- A nudity tent.
- Yeah, I'm gonna be there.
- What?
- Yeah.
- They have age appropriate ones.
- There's a teenage nudity tent?
- The minors' nudity tent?
- There's one for every single age.
- There's just a big banner
that says, "It's not sexual."
- Wait, does that mean if I'm 18,
would I have to go into
the adult one by myself?
- You'd have to go into the adult one.
- Oh, come on!
- As somebody who grew up
surrounded by these f*cking people,
they do not care about age appropriate.
This is Siobhan talking. I've
seen so many naked adults.
- I've seen so many naked
adults bonfire dancing
out in the field, yeah.
- Hey, it's all natural, man!
- So just be on guard.
- This is what a real woman looks like.
- Hee hee hee!
I think, getting all that info,
that's a couple hours of study,
so it's actually getting
kind of later on in the day.
You can go to Compass Points,
but yeah, cracking the books-
Cormyr and Rana, part of
the reason these notes
were so extensive was that
there's a f*cking ton of them,
so it's a lot of poring
through stuff to find this.
- If there's one more thing we can do,
then maybe we should try and figure out
what your mom was looking into,
just so we know what to
be on tenterhooks about.
- You think your mom will go today?
- Maybe undercover.
- It's hard to be undercover
in the nudity tent.
- Based on the sounds of everything
that's going on there, I hope not.
- Can't hide anything there.
- Maybe me and Kristen
can go to the library
and you can look up
religion stuff, and then-
- I definitely would do
that if we have time.
I also would love to send a couple texts,
one to Tracker to ask if we
could talk sometime soon,
and then one to my parents to
ask if we could get coffee.
- Okay, Tracker just
reminded me of something too,
because they were saying
that Cassandra and Galicaea
were both there when-
- I'm gonna ask her about that.
- Do you think it's not
suspicious that suddenly,
Tracker's religion is blowing
up right around the time
that this dead god is apparently back?
- Yeah.
- Is it possible that somehow,
their worship is powering something
that they don't think it is?
- Could be, especially with the new-
- That new girl.
- [stuttering] Nalariel.
- The new princess.
- Neandrial?
- Naradriel.
- Naradriel. She's the scion of Fallinel.
- She's the scion of Fallinel.
Give me one last Religion check, DC 20.
- Advantage?
- Advantage, yeah.
[dice rolling]
- Come on, now.
Hey!
Let's see.
That is a 25.
- The nudity tent has you in a mood!
- Sexy.
- 25, incredible. You send that text.
A few minutes later,
you get a text from Tracker saying,
"Sure thing. I'm busy
for the next two days.
Let me know what your
next, starting Monday,
what your week is like."
And then a few minutes after that,
you get a text from Bucky,
saying, "Mom and Dad are talking.
I think they do wanna talk to you."
- Love my man on the inside.
- There you go.
As you say that, Kristen,
you look down and see
one of the pages open
between- what Adaine and Riz
have been looking at has a blank...
It's not a blank page.
It has some artwork around it,
like it was maybe unfinished.
It's sort of an unfinished
illumination, right?
It's what you call an
illuminated page in a text
that would normally have hagiographic,
a saints thing or a
divinity or some kind of...
There's an arch, it's empty,
and you start to look at
it and see these symbols.
The columns that form this decorative arch
are wreathed in flame, it looks like.
And you see above the
arch are several designs
that you realize are 24 point stars
with incredibly sharp
rays coming out from them
in all directions, all
illuminated in red ink.
- I wonder if Cassandra got into a union
that was too powerful,
and Galicaea and Helio-
- I mean, those 24 point
stars sound a lot like
the things that came out of Cassandra.
- Yeah, they sound like the things
that were coming out of Cassandra.
- Think about it, doubt and rage together,
that's where sh*t starts to really change.
- And I don't wanna come
off super conspiratorial.
You see Riz's eyes are super red.
But the moon only lights up
because the sun, a star,
reflects off of it.
Is it possible that they are worshiping
whatever this is by accident, by proxy?
- Like Galicaea's religion-
- The light of the moon!
- ...is a satellite to
Helio gaining power?
- Oh my god!
- Well, I'm wondering,
when Cassandra said that,
if she was seeing a vision of
her ex, who had been k*lled.
- Just so mad.
- What if that was who Bakur
was trying to bring back?
And what if that is who
is in Ragh's mom's chest,
and what if that is why she
said Ragh Barkrock to you?
- I mean, Bakur is an
archfiend. Is there somebody...
Would Baby know anything about him?
- Wretchrot is so f*cking good at his job.
- [Siobhan] No, I hear you. I do hear you.
- Sorry, he's so good at his job.
- Yeah.
- I feel like we could
talk to Gorthalax or something, right?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- You're absolutely right.
- Gorthalax doesn't have time.
Because Gorgug is sh1tting the
bed so much at the Owlbears,
Gorthalax has been pulling overtime.
- You get a text from your dad being like,
"Hey sweet pea, just wanted to see you,
'cause I know there's a
music festival tonight
but, you know, Gorgug said he was gonna be
trying to get some...
I hate to text you about
your bandmate, but-"
- You want me to run drills with Gorgug?
- I just wanna know if he's
going to the music festival tonight
or if he's gonna be trying
to make time to practice.
- Hey Gorgug, Gorthalax wants to know
if you're gonna run any drills today.
- I think this is sort
of crossing a boundary.
- I tell him he's doing drills right now.
- I'll just do pushups.
- And then I wanna do
a Minor Illusion right in
front of my cell phone camera-
- A little mini.
- Of a mini Gorgug running drills.
- [Brennan] Give me Deception.
- It's just like that Shrek
running the dog race around
the Westminster Dog Show.
- Can I give the Help action by standing
really, really far in the
back going, "Go, Gorgug, go!"
- You guys do a full Ian McKellen
hobbits forced perspective.
- Yes, keep going, Gorgug!
- I accidentally walk through my shadow.
- 19 Deception.
- Incredible. You get a text back saying,
"There he is! That's my Owlbear!"
- In the Minor Illusion, I
make him so much more powerful.
- Then Gorthalax says, "Also,
I don't know what Cap's up to,
but he's grown a full two feet.
Happy to see eight foot Fabian
on the field next time."
- Go, Gorgug!
- I'm doing it.
- Before we go, can I look at this token
that Yolanda gave me and
inspect it or show my friends
and be like, I don't
really know what this is.
- Is it magical?
- My teacher gave it to me.
- Can I Detect Magic on it?
- You Detect Magic on it.
You detect a faint aura
of divine magic on it
that you can tell is
not connected to any specific deity.
It is a deity-less sort of holy symbol.
- The only thing you can
believe in is believing.
So is it this kind of holding me over
until I have an actual deity?
- Yeah, is this the Spyre equivalent
of spiritual but not religious?
- A little bit.
- Is this a crystal?
- This is kind of a crystal, yeah.
- Oh my god.
- Nat 20.
- Oh my god.
- Gorgug's feeling self-conscious
of having kinda come in
on the mystery stuff a little
late and is trying to catch up
and says, you know how
you see the unknown?
- What?
- You shine a light on it.
- Wait, can you just set up again?
- Gorgug has cracked this thing wide open.
- Real quick, before we leave,
I do wanna try to pop off my first prayer.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- With all this stuff with Cassandra.
I'll just do it real quick. I
don't even have to narrate it.
I see all this holy stuff,
get on my knees, and try to-
- What is a moment of doubt that you hold
as being sacred to your life?
- I think that the doubt
when my horns started coming in,
that tore up my world,
but at the end of it,
on the other side of that uncertainty,
me and Gilear were
actually closer than ever.
- All of you watch Adaine's
room fill with indigo light
as inside your pocket,
the shards of Cassandra
glow powerfully bright.
- I'm mouthing all this. Dear Cassandra.
- She's better than Gorgug at barbarian,
and now she's better than you at cleric?
- She's just an absolute jack
of all trades, master of all.
- Yeah, master of all.
- [Siobhan] Jack of all and master of all.
- Kristen, how do you feel in
this moment looking at Fig?
- I feel really moved and
I join her, too, I think,
- Is this right? Do we do this?
- As you join, I'm gonna say Kristen,
you have lost access to your spells.
As you kneel next to Fig and both embrace
this moment of doubt,
the doubt of just sending
this message to your parents saying-
- That's exactly what
was powering it, yeah.
- Uncertainty, the power of taking a risk,
of doing something and not
knowing what the result will be.
You regain a 6th level spell slot.
- Ooh, cool.
- Hell, yeah. Way to go.
Something has started here, right?
There is some kind of process
here. You guys head off.
You've spent the afternoon
putting all this stuff together,
and you head over to Little Branch
and the Thistlespring Tree
for the Frostyfaire Folk Festival.
- Which one is the nudity tent?
- Okay, I do have my invisibility
thing on. - The big one.
- And there are a lot of
invisible naked people,
so actually, maybe we'll
switch over to Ethereal.
- Fiddles and bodhráns
[folk music]
and smallpipes and penny whistles,
banjos and drum circles
and all kinds of little...
♪ Tweedle-eedle-dee ♪
- Truly six things into that list,
I was like, I recognize that.
- All of this wild stuff.
[chattering crowd sounds]
It's rangers and druids,
a smell of ancient and powerful body odors
mixed with all sorts of
natural plant-based narcotics.
You see that there are
little food areas and tents
at the festival that
are serving deeply rich,
potent vegan meals as people that have
talking and speaking
animals come with them.
Most of the meat that's being served
is being served to
carnivorous animal companions.
You see that there is one area
that's just serving boiled potatoes
mixed with boiled hay in
little bags. Hay and potatoes.
- I'm gonna put in an order for delivery,
if anyone wants anything.
- I'm gonna eat some dog food.
- Yeah, the dogs are eating well.
- Yeah, I think that's wagyu grain.
- I have some beef jerky in my room.
- As you guys get there,
Digby and Wilma come up.
The main stage right now,
hasn't hit the headline act yet.
On the main stage, there is a band
named Ashling that is playing right now.
Wonderful, it's just huge
hippie vibes everywhere.
Way off in the distance you see Ficus,
a kid from your school, playing hacky sack
with a full grown Kodiak grizzly bear.
- I put my hand through my
hair and become Wanda Childa.
- Whoa!
- You're so tiny.
- Where did Fig go?
- Digby and Wilma come up and
they say, "You're all here!
Welcome, welcome! It's
so great to have you!
Do you guys wanna get some
stir fry at the stir fry tent?
Help yourself and, you know,
if you don't have a wristband,
no underage drinking.
So, you know, gotta stay
on the ball about that.
But you know what's for free? Dancing!
You see, there's a dance crowd
down there where the blankets end!"
You see there's tons
of people on blankets.
There's a crew of people
dancing in front of the stage.
Big high stepping, leaping,
kind of tambourine, scarf-waving dancers.
- Where's the mosh pit?
- Well, this is not a sort
of mosh pit environment.
Usually the way people celebrate here
is they sort of leap and twirl
for about 60 to 90 seconds,
and then they go sit back down.
- Oh.
- I think we're gonna just walk around.
- Yeah, we're gonna patrol the perimeter.
- We're just gonna explore.
- Just gonna walk.
- Yeah.
- If you guys end up wanting
to leave, I totally understand.
- No, we're gonna stay.
- A lot of very crunchy
kids here from Aguefort,
who can vote.
- Oh, I might have to
go put my Wranglers on.
All right, everybody?
- Put the Wranglers and
the cowboy hat back on.
- You know what salsa and chips is? Vegan.
- That's true.
- Ooh!
- Kristen, you might wanna dress
a little differently here, honestly.
They kinda prefer, I don't know-
- You're so right.
- I saw a stand
that was selling ceramic jewelry.
It's just ceramic-
- Okay, I want that,
and then I put on kinda a
peasant top that's really flowy.
- You guys see a group of ancient druids,
who have bark growing
from them, follow a treant
that strides with them off into the woods,
and you see that one
of the druids produces
a 4 1/2 foot long pipe
and puts it to his lips.
You see that one of the old druids says,
"You wanna get f*cking high?"
- No!
- Yeah?
- Can I do an Insight check
to see if that's Copperlilly?
- [Emily] Yeah, I do it with disadvantage.
- Everyone got shot with nets last time!
- I'm doing an Insight to see if this is-
- I crit.
- Or Investigation. Oh!
- You crit?
- I crit.
- You can tell this is an illusion.
You can tell this is an
illusion on this druid.
- We don't show anything.
- Can I Dispel Magic?
No, you don't want me to?
- Go ahead and give me a roll.
- I think maybe we play
it cool and we just know
that they are here, and we
wait to time our attack.
- No thanks, Oisin. We're good.
- Oh! Cast it!
- Yeah, I cast Dispel Magic.
- You cast Dispel Magic?
You cast Dispel Magic,
and as the illusion fades,
you see that a smirking Ruben
appears and says, "Not Oisin."
- Oh, the bard.
- Probably 'cause you're
a celebrity, right?
- [Brennan] What's that?
- You just don't wanna
be seen at the festival,
'cause you're too cool to
hang out with the people.
- Well, I'm a little bit too famous,
so I kinda like to put
on a disguise and wander.
- I feel like that's just not the vibe
of this festival, though.
- Oh, yeah.
- 'Cause Fig's right
here, and Fig is also-
- No, Fig left.
- Oh wait, no!
- Fig had to take a sh*t.
- Oh yeah, right.
- Deception.
[Emily cackling]
- Disadvantage.
- Disadvantage.
- Oh! 14.
- Okay, you see Ruben
says, "Sounds like her.
Bet she would have to take a sh*t."
- We all do.
- Yeah, we all do.
- All people do.
- I don't.
- You've never-
- We ate a lot of vegan food.
- So you're telling me-
- You're telling me you don't sh*t?
- In my own house.
- Why are there so many naked
old people at your house?
- I don't know, man!
I don't have anything to do with that.
I don't have anything to do with that!
- He's gonna freak out.
- [Brennan] You see, honestly-
- You go into a rage.
- I think there's a moment,
Fig, you're in disguise,
and you're hiding-
- I'm hiding.
I don't want him to see
me as Wanda Childa yet.
- You're hiding.
As you're hiding, you remember a thing
that Porter was talking to
you about where he was like,
"No matter how much you
devote yourself to doubt,
there is always the large
possibility of paralysis.
The acceptance of doubt can create that.
You must always have a closeness to rage,
so that in moments of uncertainty,
action is available to you."
And you feel something power up
inside of Gorgug in this moment.
- f*ck. I've been sitting here thinking
that Porter's methods
with Gorgug were flawed,
but maybe Porter's
actually onto something.
- They're having their own
lives naked over there!
- Can I text Porter?
- Yeah.
[Ally laughs]
- Why do you have his number?
- Because-
- You've had his number since day one.
- I've had his number since day one!
I think I just wanna send
a list of all the things
that have pissed off Gorgug today.
- So the list is, what
my parents get up to,
Telemaine,
Telemaine Lomenelda, and I think-
- The stuff in the basement.
- Yeah, yeah.
- And also even Ruben
saying that he doesn't sh*t.
- You've never done it?
You've never done it?
- I don't do nasty stuff. Sorry.
- You're not real. Unreal.
- You don't do any nasty
stuff, and you're a musician?
- I mean, I get nasty, but I'm not nasty.
Listen, I'm getting mobbed
for autographs right now,
so I gotta go.
- You're not. You're literally not.
- You're not. We don't
want your autograph, dude.
Freakin' turncoat!
- Can I, in the background,
hit him with a Hex
to give him disadvantage on Intelligence,
so if later I interact with him,
less likely to see through my disguise?
I'm gonna upcast it so it's a long time.
- You guys leave, Ruben heads off,
and My Clerical Gnomance takes the stage.
- [drawn out] No!
[drums playing]
No!
- Guys, come on!
This is my favorite one!
- Ruben comes up. He has an
all gnomish band, all emo.
He's got a drummer and
bass player, a keyboardist,
and you see he goes, [feedback screech]
"Hey, I'm Ruben Hopclap.
[guitar joins drumming]
We're excited to be
playing here with you today
at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival.
This is 'Doomed to Wanda'."
- Doomed...
Wait, this is emo music. f*ck, I was-
♪ You hate when I get mad ♪
♪ Get mad, get mad ♪
- You like this?
- He starts singing the song.
- I thought I was- I was
thinking of a different...
There are things in emo that's cool.
[rock instrumental plays]
- The wind picks up, and you guys see
that the trees of Little
Branch begin to move.
And you hear a crackle of distant thunder,
and there is a momentary
pulse of electricity.
The lights of the stage
kinda go a little haywire,
and you see that the song
sort of stops and Ruben goes,
"Whoa, sorry.
[music fades]
We'll take that again from
the top. A little encore."
And you all hear...
[mimics static hissing]
[thunder booming]
Over the Thistlespring tree,
crackling with lightning,
you see Principal Grix.
Ruben looks up, and you see
Principal Grix looks at everyone
and says, "Infractions,
misdemeanors, felonies."
And you see he looks
right at Ruben and goes,
"Perfect order!"
And casts Disintegrate on him.
I am going to need all of
you to roll Initiative.
- Counterspell!
- [Brennan] Counterspell.
[rock instrumental plays]
We see the Thistlespring Tree
and the Frostyfaire Folk Festival!
[players cheering]
- You can see before you here
Interim Emergency Backup
Principal Grix hovering,
about to Disintegrate Ruben,
the front man of My Clerical Gnomance.
Lay of the land, people dancing over here
as Ruben and his band play.
You've got some family around.
Roz and Gorbag are over near the stage.
Wilma and Digby are
watching from the sidelines.
Adaine wants to be in
range of a Counterspell.
- Yes, where I am, I think,
is where I need to be for a Counterspell.
- [Emily] Well, I guess
I should probably be
in Counterspell range.
- Okay.
- [Emily] But can I just maybe move
so that we're not all clumped-
- Not all clumped together.
Absolutely, and you have
concentration on a Hex, correct?
- Yeah.
- Great.
- I would have moved close to the stage.
I do love this band.
- [Brennan] Fabian, go
ahead and move yourself
closer to the stage.
- Thank you.
There's a nun with a dildo.
- [Emily] Is that one of your parents?
- [Lou] Which one of your parents is-
- A dildo-wielding nun?
- [Lou] Wielding nun?
- Absolutely none of them.
Unless it's both my parents-
- On top of each other?
- [Brennan] So, all of you
see Grix extend a finger,
and is going to cast Disintegrate.
- Counterspell, 5th level.
- 5th level Counterspell.
- Wow.
- Okay.
- Deadeye.
- I'm still gonna need a roll.
- In which case, I'll do a 3rd level,
'cause it doesn't make any difference.
- [Brennan] It doesn't make a difference.
[die rolling]
- [groans] I will use one of my Portents
and make that a 19.
- Adaine, you reach up a hand
and smash that Counterspell
away from Principal Grix.
As you do so, you see
he turns to regard you.
Perfect order will be maintained.
And he is going to initiate
his first lair action.
- This is my lair!
- Oh, is Gorgug gonna get lair actions?
- Is he gonna get lair actions?
- 'Cause we're at his home?
- 'Cause we're at his home.
- Are Gorgug's parents also
gonna get lair actions?
- [Brennan] Are they
gonna get lair actions?
- Please don't give them lair actions.
- They're doing something in that tent.
- You see Principal Grix says...
Lightning sort of coursing
over his body, he goes,
"An end to festivities,
here amongst flagrant rule-breaking!"
- We're not at school right now, man!
- I was made to optimize
the school experience.
The school experience is best optimized
by being omnipresent.
And you see that he is
going to use a lair action.
Underneath all of the tarps-
- No!
- Oh no.
- Oh my god.
- Underneath all of the tarps-
- Don't do this.
Don't do this.
Think about it, think
about it. Are you sure?
- Is it too late? Does
Rick have other stuff?
- [Siobhan] The minis have
already been made, man.
I'm so sorry.
- Does Rick have other stuff?
- Gorgug.
- Think about all the weeks
they've done working on this.
Please think about it.
- Is it a giant milking machine?
- I'm texting this to Porter right now.
- Screeching out from
various tarps, machines.
You see junk machinery
and an old lawnmower,
a little automatic lawnmower.
- Why is it a lawnmower?
- Gorgug, you recognize the lawnmower,
but it looks like it got retrofitted
over the long dark summer of all night,
and some modifications have
been made to the lawnmower
as it begins to-
- Oh sh*t.
- Oh my god.
- Oh my god!
- I'm sorry, how tall are your parents?
- So small.
- The lawnmower appears,
charging from this direction.
- [Zac] So they already made that?
- It seems like they already-
- It wasn't like he did a
spell that made it become that.
- You see your dad goes, "The lawnmower!"
- The lawnmower?
- Our lawnmower!
Ah, kid, I'm so sorry. Bud, I...
- Why didn't you just send
it somewhere else, Dad?
- It's not supposed to be doing this!
- It's kinda fun that it's a mower.
- Is it?
- You get mowed.
- Yeah, you get mowed by it now.
- [Siobhan] Your lawn is shorn, my guy.
- I'm trying to figure
out the other pieces.
Maybe I don't want to, though.
- Dildo, feather, butt plug,
and then I guess lube g*n?
- Yeah.
- You got it.
- [Ally] Wow, you nailed it.
- I've had sex before!
- [Emily] I gotta get on that lube g*n.
- This is how the audience founds out.
- I've had sex before!
- Me? I've had a little sex.
- I've had a little
sex! I'm freaking cool!
- [Brennan] A number of other bots
arise under Grix's command.
- Okay, they're more normal.
Okay, that one, though-
- What's up with that one?
- I'm sorry, I have to-
- This one isn't sexual, but feels sexual.
- [Zac] That might be sexual.
- [Siobhan] This one's
for the sapiosexuals.
And that's just a fisting machine.
- Now that's sexual.
- That one is quite sexual.
- Wow.
- Does it float, too?
- [Brennan] It is flying.
It's a hovering, flying-
- These parents know how to
have sex, as someone who knows.
- You see that again,
Wilma and Digby both go,
"Again, this stuff was
all put under a tarp.
It was all supposed to
stay under the tarp."
- You know how to secure a tarp.
- Well, there's no accounting for-
- Gorgug just puts his goggles on.
- As they say that,
you see Digby and Wilma
vanish, sucked inside
an old washer and dryer.
First, your dad disappears into a dryer
right here, and your mom right after
as a hose of a wheeled washing
machine [mimics thumping]
and throws her into the washing
machine and hits spin cycle.
- Oh!
- Oh god.
Ruthless.
- Ruthless.
Wait, so they were into f*cking machines,
or am I missing something?
- [Emily] Beardsley, do
you really want this?
- Will you tell me? You've had sex.
- Let me explain it to you.
- Beardsley just goes, "Ruthless.
So they were into f*cking machines?"
- So they were tinkerers,
but horny tinkerers?
- Yeah dude, you just realized that?
- We've never asked how
they make their money.
- That's true.
- They tinker.
- They cam.
- These are the people
that explained docking in freshman year.
- That's true. That's very true.
- This is not anything
we didn't know about the Thistlesprings.
- But we didn't know that
they f*cked each other!
I just thought it was an area
of academic interest for them.
- It is also that.
So, these bots are going
to leap into action.
- And Grix has done this?
- Grix has awakened all of these machines.
It looks like he sent out an EMP,
some sort of electromagnetic
pulse, over the neighborhood,
and just brought a bunch
of nearby things to life.
Anyone who wants to can
make an Insight check.
[dice rolling]
- [Lou] I'd love to.
- I do it with disadvantage.
I got a nat one.
- I also got a nat one.
- There you go.
- Dirty 20.
- You look at Principal Grix.
You can tell- he has not
ever done anything relatable,
as far as you're concerned.
You can read on his robotic
face how shocked and alarmed
he is by the robots that
have come to answer his call.
He was basically like,
"Robotic creatures of the neighborhood,
come to my aid!" and all
this crazy sh*t jumped up.
You see him a little bit like,
"Perfect order? Perfect order."
- These are your champions, Grix?
- This is what you want?
- These are your champions?
- I just, I put out the call,
and whoever answers, answers.
- Wow.
- This is so indecent
for a principal to summon to
something where minors are at.
- Yeah! You're not perfect order.
- [mimics electricity buzzing]
He takes 1d4 psychic damage.
All right, the lawnmower
is going to surge forward.
- [Lou] Aw, that little
turtle eating a pie.
- Just a little turtle
eating a pie on a blanket.
- We'll get that turtle out of here.
- I gotta save the turtle.
- Riz, you got the turtle?
- I'm gonna take care of the vulture.
- That's what you think. I'm
gonna take care of the vulture.
- I'm gonna fight that bear for no reason.
- [Zac] I got the clown with hand puppets.
- Move your Hex to the bear.
- Toe to toe with the bear.
- Adaine, you got my parents?
- No! What?
- I think I can get your parents.
- I'm gonna need Dexterity saves
from Kristen, Adaine, and Riz.
- 14.
- 17.
- That's a dirty three.
- Dirty three.
Riz, you take no damage
as you expertly dodge out of the way.
You each take 21 points of piercing damage
as the lawnmower pulls up
and its front blades...
[mimics blades whirring]
It digs its blades into
the front of itself,
spraying shards of metal in a 30 foot cone
in front of you as Riz dodges.
These bipedal bots are going to go.
This one's gonna engage with Gorgug.
What's their movement?
- I think it's negative five.
- Yeah.
- Has to give somebody
else five feet of movement.
- [Emily] Oh yeah.
- Yeah, that's tough.
- [Ally] That's tough.
- That's super hard.
- [Siobhan] Yeah, that's f*cked up.
- [Brennan] This one's gonna
use movement and an action
just to close, be within
range of Kristen here,
and then the other one is
gonna close with Fabian.
- Oh, lame.
- That's the least sexual
one, so you're lucky.
- Thank god.
- [Ally] Just kinda like a weird flag keg.
- I'm excited to be attacked
by this one, you know?
- [Brennan] Okay, that is-
- I feel like it'll just
stab me normally, you know?
- Take 21 f*cking damage.
- [Brennan] Fabian, you take
- Ah!
- As this thing strikes you.
Gorgug, you are missed twice.
- [Emily] Ooh!
- [Brennan] As these bots come after you.
- Unbelievable.
- Fabian, that's your turn.
- The Ball, Gorgug? [stammering] Grix?
The parents? The lawnmower?
- That's how I feel.
- First things first. Get
Wilma out of the spin cycle.
- Got it!
[swashbuckling music]
I'm gonna start doing
my traditional "Ocean's 12" capoeira
and bonus action Kinetic Jaunt on myself.
I'll move away, or
actually I'll go further.
I'll go to the one in the back, the dryer.
- The dryer. Okay, awesome.
And you definitely have the
movement to get there, right?
- [Lou] I should. I mean, I have 40 now.
- Yeah, that's no sweat.
- Great.
- Cool.
- And can I make either
one of the two skills
I decided to take
advantage on to figure out-
disadvantage on to figure out
how I could possibly get Digby out?
- Yeah, give me a Perception check.
- Okay.
[dice rolling]
That's gonna be a 16.
- Ooh!
In terms of getting Digby out... I mean,
you can definitely just attack this thing
and bring it to smithereens.
- Okay.
- Or it could be skill checks
to try to open the door.
- Do I get a sense what
kinda skill that might be?
- Well, you know that it's locked.
You heard a ka-chunk as the door closed.
- All right, well, I'll just
beat the sh*t out of it, then.
We'll just go classic. I'm
gonna hit it with my sword.
- [Brennan] Go for it.
[die rolling]
- That'll be a 26 to hit.
- That hits.
- We'll burn a 2nd level
spell slot on Fandrangor.
We'll make it a Defensive Flourish
from Bardic. And... I don't
know, can I trip a machine?
We'll use a Goading attack.
- Hell yeah, awesome. It has
to make what kind of save?
- That's a Wisdom saving throw.
- And is that the Charmed condition or no?
- On a failure, the
target has disadvantage
on all attack rolls against
targets other than you
until the end of its next turn.
- This thing is goaded.
- Thus, it has been goaded.
Okay, we're gonna add only one to my AC.
Bring that up to 20, and then-
- [Brennan] Riz, you're
on deck, by the way.
- 24 plus 9 for 33
on the first attack.
- 33 damage?
- That's 9 plus 1d8 plus 2d8
plus 3d8 plus a 4th d8,
'cause my Bardic is now
a d8 instead of a d6.
- Oh my god.
- Hell, yeah. That's your first attack?
- That's the first attack. Second attack.
[die rolling]
That'll be a 20.
- A 20 hits.
- Great, burn another
plus Fandrangor, and we'll
just leave it at that.
[dice rolling]
For 13, 14, 15,
plus 9, 24 more points of damage.
- Fabian, tell me what it looks like
as you come and save Digby Thistlespring.
- I think I just do a cool B-side flip,
stab into the door of this thing,
and use the weight to just pop it off.
- Incredible. Bam!
You unmake the dryer.
The machine comes apart almost as quickly
as it has been put together,
and popping that door open,
Digby leaps out in front of you.
Oh bud, thanks so much!
I'm sorry, this has
gotta be so embarrassing.
We didn't wanna put
Gorgug in this position.
- No, of course. This is...
These are interesting machines.
- Yeah, it was a long, weird summer.
- [Emily] What?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- It was just night the whole time.
We didn't know if you
kids would come back.
- Gorgug is just thinking about how
these are all just from this summer.
- Incredible. Okay, Fabian,
you have defeated the dryer.
Bonus action and actions all used?
- All good.
- At the end of your turn,
Principal Grix is going to
cast a cantrip
and is going to target Adaine,
who countered his spell.
- b*tch.
- He hits.
Adaine, you take...
Oof, you take 22 points of frost damage
as a spell erupts from
his mechanical finger.
That is one of his legendary actions.
That is now going to be Riz.
- Sweet. Riz reaches under his coat.
You see he's got a brand
new bracer. He opens it up.
You see a full keyboard, and
he begins typing really fast,
and then hits enter and goes, I'm in.
And I'm gonna cast Remote Access.
You can use any electronic
device within range
as if it were in your hands.
This is not a telekinesis effect.
Rather, the spell allows you to simulate
a device's mechanical
functions electronically.
So I would like to access the
washer that has Wilma in it
and try to get it to crap
her out and turn off.
- Hell yes. Is there any saving
throw associated with it?
- It does not have a
saving throw on the card.
- Let me take a look here.
I'm gonna say, because this
is basically a k*ll effect,
we're gonna make it a Wisdom
saving throw versus your DC.
- Cool. 15.
- Hell yes. And I'll roll
in front of the board.
That is a four!
[players cheering]
Riz, kicking a*s.
You see this thing, electricity
spins around all over it,
and you see that Grix even twists his head
as you rip control of the
washing machine away from Grix.
I'm gonna say if you
feel that it's useful,
you can take actions in order
to make the washer do actions.
- Yeah!
- I would love to do that.
- You see it [mimics
thudding] and spits Wilma out.
- Riz takes his full gamer pose.
He pulls out a mouse and
stuff and just leans back.
- Wow, such a strong squat.
- Everyone, the washer's on our side now!
- The washer's cool now, everybody.
- Everyone likes the washer now.
- Thanks, guys.
- And then I'll do a bonus action hide
and I'll just jump under
this little gnome couch.
- Hell yeah, give me a Stealth check.
[die rolling]
- Doo doo doo. 30.
- That is very hidden.
Wilma and Digby both look at you, Gorgug.
Your pals, your friends,
have just instantly gotten
your parents out of harm's way.
They look to you. Bud, what should we do?
- Do you have any way of
getting these machines offline?
- We'll try to deal with the lawnmower.
- Okay.
- Oh my god!
- Okay.
- They want that one
intact at the end of this.
- No one touch the lawnmower!
- That's been a personal fave!
- You have two rounds.
- We had to work up to it!
- Digby looks at Wilma and says,
"I'll go for the lawnmower!
You go for the..."
And he points at the sort of hovering,
menacing one in the corner and he says,
"It was always your
favorite," and takes off.
- I'm taking pictures of
this, sending it to Porter.
[drum-heavy instrumental]
We got him!
- We got him!
- We got him, partner.
- Yeah, you see Wilma goes and grapples
the sort of hovering, you can
see clearly there's a Sybian
strapped to the top of
it, and just wrestles it.
She's like, "Don't you hurt
any of my son's friends!"
And you see that Digby leaps
onto the side of the lawnmower
and says, "You've had just
about enough fun, pal!"
- Principal Grix! Disintegrate me, please!
I have to get hit first, but...
- [Brennan] Kristen, that
is going to be your turn.
- I'm kinda useless.
Can I take the Disengage and
then hop into the nudist tent
and see if I can get us any help,
if there's anyone in there?
- [Brennan] Hell, yes.
Give me a Perception check
with disadvantage.
[dice rolling]
- It's sweaty in there.
- Still okay.
That is going to be 19.
- A pungent aroma fills your nostrils
and you hear someone say, "Hey,
looking for the shoe rack?"
- What? Well, yeah.
- Shoe rack's in the corner.
- I guess that would be the
first thing to come off.
No, there's danger outside.
We need as many people in
here to help as we can,
and you don't have any
time to put on clothes.
Come with me!
- Come with me?
- Come with me. Great.
Kristen, do you wanna reemerge
from the tent with help?
- With your naked disciples?
- Yeah.
- Great. Kristen, you
emerge from the tent.
Two gnomes follow you out of the tent.
- [Ally] Can I come out the
other way so I'm not back-
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I Disengage from that one.
- Hell, yeah. Look at the butt.
- You see little butts?
- [Siobhan] Yes, I love them.
- Cute! They're so chill.
- Wow, those gnomes are caked.
- So, naked gnomes. All
right, how can we help?
- Okay, there's some kinda f*cking robots
that I think we need to shut down.
Do any you have ways to-
- You see one of them looks
and looks a little bit offended and says,
"You know the nudity tent's non-sexual."
- Yeah, no, exactly.
That's why I think you'd be so alarmed
at the f*cking nature of these robots.
Look, I can't get into
your whole thing right now!
I'm pretty sex positive, okay?
And then I just sprint away.
- Sprint away, all right. You sprint away.
As you sort of clear the nudity tent out,
any other bonus actions?
- Bonus action pick up
this turtle and kiss it.
It's so cute!
- You do have a 6th level spell slot,
and you do have any of your class features
that are not spells that
you would wanna use.
- Okay, great. Good to know, yeah, yeah.
With a 6th level spell slot,
can I use a lower level spell?
- Yeah, for sure.
- Okay, great.
'Cause all I have there is Ice Feast.
- [Brennan] Great. Great, great, great.
- Brennan wrote Ice Feast for real.
- Can I do a Persuasion
check on this vulture?
- He is airborne.
- I will say if you get within
five feet of the vulture, I will allow you
to do a Persuasion check on the vulture.
- Five feet?
- Persuasion?
- So then yeah, I guess
I'll take my movement
to start closing with the vulture.
- Okay.
- 5, 10, 15, 20, 25.
I guess I only get one more step closer.
- Do you have any other abilities?
- Yeah, don't you have
Divine Sense or Turn Undead?
- At the end of Kristen's turn, Grix,
seeing that you've done
something into the nudity tent,
kicks up a bunch of wind
with one of his robotic hands
and this is ripped into the sky,
leaving two other nude gnomes.
- Wow.
- That didn't follow?
- That didn't follow.
- Cowards!
- They're just hanging out.
- Wow!
- They're just hanging out?
- Can I say that I started,
since it's kind of dusk or dim light here,
I started Steps of Night,
so I'm kinda flying?
- Love that. That's
great. Yes, absolutely.
Charging out from behind the stage
that I think is gonna
take a run for Kristen
is a massive forklift,
still under Grix's command.
- A regular one, or?
- Just two massive dildos wobbling around.
- That is a hit on Kristen Applebees.
- What are they lifting?
- Am I within range to Cutting Words?
Are you f*cked right now?
- I have like 60 health.
- Okay, I'll let you take the hit then.
- Give me a Strength saving throw.
- I'm gonna do Silvery Barbs.
- You do Silvery Barbs?
- I do Silvery Barbs.
- You just canceled a crit.
- Oh!
- Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
- And turn that into a miss.
What does it look like?
What does your Silvery Barbs look like?
- [Emily] No! Don't sit so far back!
- I'm in.
- Actually yeah, you just suddenly trigger
a short circuit in the forklift,
and it slows just enough for
Kristen to jump out of the way.
- Ah!
- Incredible.
Ruben is going to go.
- Okay.
- And you see, looking horrified,
looks over the crowd.
Does he see Wanda Childa?
- Yeah, I am Wanda Childa right now.
- He looks, sees you. A
tear comes to his eye.
[Emily laughs tinily]
- She's so freakin' tiny!
- Oh my god, she's so
small! You gotta save her!
♪ I'm gonna save you ♪
And he just starts playing even harder.
But he's going to go ahead and give you
a Bardic Inspiration as a bonus action.
[Emily moans seductively]
- Wanda Childa!
- Roz and Gorbag, if
you wanna move them up,
they're the couple looking at the stage,
are gonna run up and help
you with the forklift.
- He's got a blazer on.
- [Brennan] He's got a
blazer on. He's dressed up.
- This guy dressed nice to get naked.
- [Brennan] That is now going
to be Figueroth Faeth's turn.
- [Emily] Okay, so I have a question.
If me and Gorgug got up there,
could Gorgug use his grappling
to basically get him to be not airborne?
- Potentially, potentially.
- My turn's next.
- Do you wanna Dimension Door?
- Yeah, sure.
- Let's go for a ride.
- I was trying to figure out
how to get up to him anyway.
- Okay, I'm gonna Hexblade
Curse him, grab Gorgug,
and we're gonna go into the sky.
- Boom, all right. We knew it was coming.
We absolutely knew it was coming.
- [Lou] We're gonna go into the sky.
- So many battles have begun
with us Dimension Dooring to a bad guy.
- And I'm gonna be, 'cause
I'm Wanda right now,
I'm so tiny.
- Incredible.
- Riding on his back.
- You're under Gorgug's arm.
He's kinda like, what the f*ck?
- [Emily] I'm riding
him like a tiny little
broken bird backpack.
- Unbelievable.
- Are you in my backpack?
- It's me, Fig.
- [Brennan] Any bonus actions from Fig?
- I Hexblade Curse this guy.
- Hexblade Curse, okay.
Here's Wanda. Now, you do
that, and I assume fall?
- Will I compromise his ability
to grapple Grix if I hold on?
- If you hold onto him, on his turn, yes.
- Okay, then I'm gonna fall.
- I have to make a Performance check for-
- Wait, doesn't he leap
to try to catch her?
I mean, come on!
- Ruben, you hear, squeaks off note
as he sees Wanda falling.
He goes, "I love you!" as Wanda falls.
Let's see how much falling damage that is.
- I'm a true broken bird,
falling from the sky!
- What happened?
- How close am I? Am I within 60 feet?
- [Brennan] Are you within 60 feet? Yes.
- I'm gonna whip out my battle sheet
and cast Feather Fall.
- Look at that!
You full 'Doctor Strange' your
battle sheet. It flies off.
Unbelievable. You land
safely down below, Fig.
- But that moment of terror does happen,
'cause I want him to feel it.
[music fades]
I want him to know what it would feel like
if the most important thing
in his world disappeared.
- I acknowledge that you did
it, being like, knowingly,
and then I look at Ruben
and I'm like, you saved me!
[Ally cackling]
And I take out my earbuds.
- What did you do?
- You take out your earbuds
at the music festival?
Incredible.
- You got my attention. What
do you wanna do with it?
- He waits for an
instrumental break and goes,
"What were you listening to?"
- A podcast.
I put them back in.
- [Ally] The Dry Guys?
- [Brennan] Incredible.
Gorgug, that's gonna be your turn.
- Okay.
Ah!
Gorgug was thinking about
how it may have been
a good time to go back
inside, but now he's here.
Also, could Gorgug have his
Steel Defender out here?
- Yeah, Cloaca is ready to go.
- Cloaca is my homunculus
servant but, you know,
my Steel Defender, the sorta
class feature of my artificer
is, I think, a gecko named... Clobica?
- [Brennan] Okay. Okay,
where do you want this-
- [Zac] I think he would
have been just on the ground.
- Cloaca, Clobica.
- Great.
- Clocica!
- [Lou] I can't wait.
- Okay, so Clobica is a slightly larger,
better version of Cloaca.
- Sure. Yes, yes.
- And flies to your defense.
- [Zac] Great, first off, Clobica will do
a force-empowered rend, which
is a melee weapon attack.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- 19 on the die. I think
that's probably hitting.
- Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. 19
plus whatever, yes, absolutely.
- That's two plus four,
six damage from that.
- Hell, yeah.
- And then Gorgug is
going to take out his axe.
He's not raging.
He's trying to channel
his artificer stuff,
even though he really
wants to rage right now,
and I'm gonna recklessly attack.
[dice rattling]
But before that, I'm
gonna cast Branding Smite.
- Okay, bonus action Branding
Smite. Hell, yeah. Hell yeah.
- So first attack, that is a 24 to hit.
[dice rolling]
- Shield.
- Counterspell.
- Okay, go ahead. 3rd level.
You get rid of the Shield. You hit.
- [Zac] Okay, great.
- Wow.
- k*lling it.
- And then my second attack.
[dice rolling]
- 23 also hits.
- Okay, great.
So this is...
[dice rattling]
- Oof! Incredible.
- Big ups!
- You wallop Grix
as Fig knocks his Shield
spell out of the sky.
Gorgug, that's both your attacks.
You're going to fall now.
- Oh, right. Well, I'm falling.
- There you go.
- Can you grab onto him?
- You, bam bam, get these attacks in
and head to the earth below.
Is Clobica staying up there
or is Clobica coming down with you?
- Clobica will follow me down.
- Cool, cool, cool.
Before you begin to fall, Gorgug,
he is going to use a legendary action,
sort of, at the beginning of your fall
to make an attack against you.
That is a hit.
I'm gonna need a Constitution
saving throw from you.
- Shield?
- You cast Shield. Bypasses.
- Wait, it bypasses it? Okay.
- He bypasses your Shield.
He beats the AC anyway.
- Constitution save is what you said?
- Constitution.
- Okay.
♪ Constitution ♪
[die rolling]
- That's a 12.
- He deals you eight
points of lightning damage.
You are stunned.
- No!
- I have resistance to thunder damage.
Is that different than lightning?
- Different than lightning damage, yeah.
What was that Constitution
saving throw again?
- 12.
- 12, yeah. You are stunned.
As the battle sheet wraps
around Gorgug and Fig,
you see Grix reaches out, and
just a stroke of lightning.
Your heart stops.
You're going through weird
palpitations of your heart
and are fully stunned.
- What a day.
- What a f*cking day.
Adaine, now it is your turn.
- [Siobhan] Okay, great.
[classical music]
I am gonna bonus action, using my sword,
cast True Strike just
so that I have Dodge...
- [Brennan] Cool.
- ...going.
- Yep. - And then I'm gonna
cast Summon Elemental.
So Dry Guy, you're out again.
So it's one medium air
elemental that can fly.
- Great.
- And has two attacks.
- Perfect.
- Can I have the elemental,
when it's up there, do
some kind of Investigation?
Because it has a thing
called Amorphous Form.
The elemental can move through a space
as narrow as one inch
wide without squeezing.
- Mm-hmm.
- Is there a one inch hole in Grix
that it can potentially...
- Sand in the robot.
- Can the air elemental go
up the robot's butthole,
is essentially what I'm asking.
- If you tell me what
you're planning to do
with that information,
I'll make a ruling on it.
Otherwise, I will say no.
- I guess it's mostly flavor.
I just wanna be able to attack it
as effectively as possible.
- Gotcha.
- If there's any kind of
armor that it's wearing,
maybe, that the air
elemental could bypass.
- Can take advantage of.
You know, as they say,
the reason there are
no called shots in D&D
is that characters are
always trying their best
to hit the weak points.
So if there is a butthole
that this air elemental
can go into-
- Then it does.
- Then it hitting a natural
that finding the butthole
represents. You know what I mean?
- Sure. So the air elemental
attacks twice. [dice rolling]
First is a 23 to hit.
- [Brennan] A 23 hits.
[die rolling]
- And the second is a 17 to hit.
- 23 hits, 17 misses.
- On that attack, instead of doing damage,
can it be a grapple attack?
- Sure.
- Do they have two attacks?
- They have two attacks.
- Yeah, you can make a grapple.
- Great, so I'll grapple
instead of attacking.
- Perfect, go ahead and give me
an opposed Athletics from your elemental.
- I guess it's just its Strength, right?
- Yeah.
- So 17.
- You see it is unable to
grapple Principal Grix.
- Okay.
Okay.
- It is now going to be the washer's turn.
- The washer is hacked.
- Yeah, the washer is-
- The washer's hacked.
- The washer is hacked!
Wow, okay. The washer does not act.
You've just dodged a whole...
I've got to say, you guys are
kicking a*s in this fight.
This was gonna be really f*cking hairy.
Okay, Principal Grix is going to go.
Ungrappled, Grix is
going to fly even higher.
- [Emily] You wanna go higher?
- [Zac] I'm stunned this next turn.
- Aw!
- He's gonna target everybody.
- Counterspell, Counterspell!
I used my reaction.
- Counterspell.
- He moves to 70 feet
above you. Clever, clever.
- Clever girl. Clever Grix.
- Clever Grix.
- I am going to need
Intelligence saving throws
from everybody.
- Damn.
- I am going to need a
mini Three Musketeers
from that table over there.
- Do I make the check if I'm stunned?
- You can make that.
- What is Ruben's Bardic?
- [Brennan] Ruben's
Bardic is actually a d12.
- Oh my god. Oh no, Halle, no!
- [Emily] [gasps] What-uh?
Please never think I'm
meaning that sincerely.
- [Siobhan] You're gonna
eat it though, right?
- They say as they open it.
- Oh no, sorry, not a d12.
- No, no!
- Halfway open.
- Ruben's Bardic is a d8.
- d8, okay.
- God, it's so good.
- I'm gonna hang onto
the Bardic and not use it
'cause I don't think his
- Did anyone get an 18 or higher?
- 18.
- Did you say five?
- I did, but I used my second Div roll.
- Nerd, nerd, nerd.
- Incredible.
Wow, a lot of you got an 18. Amazing.
Riz, Kristen, Adaine,
you each take 21 points of psychic damage.
- Oh my god.
- Gorgug, Fabian, Fig, you each take
damage and are stunned.
- Oh my god.
- But if I was already stunned-
- It doesn't stack, so
you're just still stunned.
[Zac wheezes]
- This guy is so bad.
- So you see Grix goes,
"Flagrant rule-breaking."
- Tell us what rules we're breaking!
- He unhinges his jaw so
much that the top of his head
goes upside-down behind his lower jaw
and goes [mimics sonar blaring]
and just psychic screams,
deals all of this wild
damage to all of you.
How many hit points does
your elemental have, Adaine?
- 50.
- Obliterates the elemental,
'cause he can actually
pick multiple targets.
- This guy's too strong, man.
He's too fricking strong.
- He's too freaking strong.
- It's not fair!
- How many hit points does Clobica have?
- No!
- Sorry.
- No!
- Wait, I wanna use a Luck
roll to try and do better.
- Yeah, do it.
- Come on!
- Here we go, here we go, here we go!
- There's no way. This energy
is just not gonna happen.
- [Brennan] Here we go,
here we go, here we go!
- I literally had a crisis of faith,
'cause Faeth is my last
name and I had a crisis
of whether or not my dad
was my f*cking real dad!
Okay, that becomes a 13.
- 13. Wait.
- [Emily] With the Bardic, I
could hypothetically hit it.
- You could do it. I'll
let you know right now.
With 13, you would just have to hit a 5.
Five or higher gets it done.
- I look at Ruben so, so scared.
- Wanda, I literally
wrote this song about you.
This is kind of crazy, actually.
I know other stuff is going on right now,
but this is actually kind of crazy.
- Sorry, what did you say?
I got a one.
- Oh no!
- Incapacitated also means
concentration is gone,
so Kinetic Jaunt is gone, Hex is gone,
any concentration you had is gone.
- 30 HP on this Steel Defender.
- Okay, go ahead and roll
an Intelligence saving throw
for the Defender.
- Okay.
- Does it do it with advantage, for fun?
- Yeah, it's a seven minus three.
- Clobica is toast. Goodbye, Clobica.
- Clobica!
- Clobica is gone.
At the end of Grix's turn,
that's gonna be a lair action.
- [whimper] No!
- Wanda.
- Wanda, Wanda!
- Wanda, maybe chill-da.
Where's that undercover cop or whatever?
- Yeah, where's Clark? Where's
Agent Clark when we need him?
- Grix momentarily lowers himself,
goes [groaning and
glitching] and you watch
his body kind of decompose a little bit.
Some of the gears- Ping! Ping!- spring out
and coils snap as he resurrects the dryer.
Bam.
You watch as some of his life force
seems to go away in that moment.
That is his lair action.
The lawnmower is gonna go for Digby.
It does not recharge its shrapnel blast.
Is going to hit Digby
for 18 points of damage.
- [Lou] Oh god.
- You see that it turns around.
Digby says, "Stop! As your
creator, I command you!
This was not what you were made for!
You were built for pleasure
and lawn maintenance,
not for this!
- [Emily] Why the- why?
- At the same time.
- It's multipurpose.
- Seems really unhygienic.
- They don't overlap enough.
- The lawn does look good.
- It looks good, and you
look happy, honestly.
- The lawn looks great.
- You look happy.
- Your parents have a great relationship.
- You're glowing, your lawn is-
- Your lawn looks like it's come recently.
- Is that morning dew?
- [Emily] It's a little late
for the morning dew to be so slick.
- What?
- All right, we gotta get Grix.
- Adaine, you take-
- Come on, man!
- You take seven points-
- You're bullying me.
- You're in the middle! You
take seven points of damage.
- I'm down!
- Oh no!
Adaine goes down as the biped
bots surround. Adaine drops.
- [Emily] So three people
stunned, one person down.
- [Zac] One person, no spells?
- One person no spells,
almost k*lled by a forklift.
- A spell.
- What the f*ck are
all these nudies doing?
- They're running. There's
people attacking them.
- This bear doesn't have any spells?
- That's a hit on Gorgug.
- What about this f*cking scarred guy
with the freaking Vans tie?
- You guys are doing great.
of the sorta walking furnaces
comes over and slams into you.
- What's happening today?
- [Ally] What's everybody at? You're down.
- You're stunned.
- [Brennan] Fabian,
that is going to be you.
- Yo soy stunned.
- Go ahead and give me
an Intelligence saving throw.
- Oh my god.
- Oh no, it's one of those.
- 14.
- 14 does not make the save.
You remain stunned. Riz, this is you.
- Okay.
- Washer battles the dryer.
- Yeah, I think that we've
got bigger fish to fry
than the dryer and washer.
How high is he right now?
- Right now, he's about,
I would say, 50 feet up.
- Did he come lower to get in range
with the dryer that he re-brought out?
- Yes, to get in range with
the other robotic creatures.
- I don't know if I have...
I mean, I can sh**t- I can sh**t him.
I can sh**t him.
I can sh**t him. I'll sh**t him.
Okay, I'm gonna pop out
and just sh**t at Grix.
- Okay, but you'll have advantage.
Remember to roll with advantage.
- Yes, yes, I'll pop out of hiding.
I just stop with the cute stuff.
I literally just rip off
my bracer and throw it
and just pull out a g*n and
start sh**ting at the guy.
[Murph hollering]
- Incredible.
Go ahead, roll your attack
roll with advantage.
- [Siobhan] And it's
radiant damage, right?
- It is. That's a 29 to hit.
- Grix throws up a
Shield, and you bypass it.
- Nice.
- Thank god!
- Whew, that was scary.
- Throws up a Shield and you
bypass. Reaction. [dice rolling]
- Oh yeah, pretty good.
- Yes!
- A couple ones, but a couple sixes.
- [Lou] There it is.
- 28 damage, and I'll
also do Fury of the Ball
to do an extra 11 damage to do 39.
- You do 39 damage?
- Yeah!
- All of you who are stunned,
as you're sitting here,
you feel your heart beating wrong,
it's arrhythmic and you
can't move your muscles,
look and see Grix looking
down at all of you and saying,
"I had been instructed
to expect tomfoolery
from none so much as you,
the aptly named Bad K..."
[mimics expl*si*n] And gears
rocket out of his chest.
He moves from looking
pretty good to quite hurt
as your b*llet emerges out
through the gears of his body.
Bonus action.
- Dive back under the couch.
- [Brennan] Give me
Stealth, give me Stealth.
- Come on.
[die rolling]
- You dive back under there.
At the end of your turn,
trying to hide on that 19.
Grix makes you and is
going to make an attack.
That is going to hit.
He deals 18 ice damage,
- Okay. [groans] Okay, okay, I'll take it.
- That is now going to be Wilma and Digby,
who see these machines
that they're tangling with,
but more to that point,
see that their son and
his friends are in danger.
Digby is going to hit a little teleporter
on a little tinker's wristwatch
and appear next to Gorgug here.
You see Wilma is going to use one.
I don't think she has
line of sight to Fabian.
She does to Fig, so she's gonna go to Fig.
They are each going to
bonus action Misty Step
and give Help actions to Gorgug and Fig.
- I don't look like Fig right now,
just to be totally honest.
- [Zac] They think
you're our friend Wanda.
- They think you're Gorgug's new friend.
They would probably still help.
They're like, we gotta help
that girl! She's so small!
- Kristen.
- Yes?
- That is you. That is your turn.
Wilma and Digby are gonna
run to Wanda and Gorgug.
- Okay, you're down.
Everyone else is above-
- I'm at 34 now, which is below half.
- 34.
- 51.
- I'm at 38.
- I think it's worth it.
- Okay, yeah.
I'm going to cast Mass Cure Wounds.
- Yeah!
- Hell, yes.
Go ahead and roll.
[dice rolling]
- Yes, m*therf*cker!
Three eights and a two.
- Hell, yes.
- Five, yeah.
- [Siobhan] So 31?
- 31 to everybody.
- [Brennan] And then do you add
your spellcasting modifier to that?
- I just did.
- You just did? Awesome.
- Kristen, you took me to 69.
- [Ally] That's right, everybody!
- That's my base number.
- That's your action. Any bonus
action or movement from you?
- Yeah, I'm gonna kind of...
I'm still kinda flying,
so I'd love to just kind
of be on top of this tree.
No, I wouldn't. I'll just
take a little kinda walk away.
- Okay. Take a little walk.
- Into the trash can.
- I love the turtle so much.
- It's great. You continue to walk away.
- What are you about to do?
- You continue to walk away.
The forklift misses its
attack of opportunity
as you walk away.
- Fabulous.
- That is Kristen's turn.
At the end of your turn, Kristen,
I think having just been badly injured,
he's gonna go for Riz again.
- Yeah, makes sense.
- He's gonna hit again.
- Okay.
- He deals 21 points of damage to Riz.
- Okay, I'll Uncanny
Dodge that to take off 10.
- Okay. As another spell
comes rocketing towards you,
the dryer, which has
almost no hit points left,
it's just been kind of resurrected,
is going to turn to Fabian.
It's going to belch fire.
You automatically fail the save.
You take 33 points of fire damage.
As fire rushes out of the dryer,
the forklift is going to turn
to attack Roz and Gorbag.
- No!
- Oh my god.
- Damn, you got too many
parents on the field.
- Four parents on a
b*ttlefield is too many.
- The forklift misses Gorbag.
[rock music]
This thing is gonna come
straight for your mom.
It's coming straight for Wilma.
The Thribian rushes forward,
and misses.
Not designed for battle, really.
Pretty ineffective, as
far as these things go.
Ruben up onstage says,
"Everybody, Frostyfaire is about love
and having a good time
and appreciating bodies
and eating the stuff they
serve at that tent, okay?
And that's why we're
gonna give this as*h*le
a piece of our mind, two three four!"
[Brennan mimics guitar shredding]
And jumps into another
rousing, sort of upbeat,
Blink-182 sounding kind
of song, very catchy.
Him and all of the bards onstage with him
are going to throw out
Bardic Inspirations,
so everyone's got a d6 and you got a d8.
- Quick question.
He singled out a tent
that everyone's eating at.
Can I do an Insight to see-
- Yeah.
- [Emily] Is the vulture
going there or not?
- [Ally] Yeah, is the
vulture gonna go there?
- How hungry is the vulture?
- 21.
- You see, on a 21, looking up,
[music fades]
the vulture makes direct
eye contact with you.
- [laughs] Get the vulture to fly you up.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- No, I was gonna see,
is there any subliminal
packaging to that food?
- Give me Insight.
- Oh, okay.
[die rolling]
She really bounced around, didn't she?
That is only a 15.
- Copy that. Not to your knowledge, no.
- But I do know that the
vulture looked right at me.
- Roz and Gorbag begin to beat
the sh*t out of the forklift.
- Yeah!
[rock music resumes]
- You see Roz jumps into the driver's seat
and starts to try to tear
the steering wheel off,
and you see Gorbag gets
in between the teeth
and starts to try to lift it up.
He does a deep squat and
is like, "You're going up!
You're going up in the air!
You're going up in the air!"
That is going to be Figueroth
Faeth. You have a d8 Bardic.
- Yo soy stunned.
- You have 2d20.
You're rolling with
advantage 'cause of Wilma.
- That's a nat one.
Okay, that's a seven.
- Luck point?
- I mean, yeah. I guess so.
That's a two.
- [Siobhan] Jesus Christ.
- Brutal, brutal.
- Cursed season.
- Cursed, cursed.
Gorgug, that's gonna be you,
and then Adaine on deck.
- These are some Gilearean rolls.
- [Lou] Gilearean!
[dice rolling]
- 11 plus 2 is 13,
plus a d6?
- Plus a d6.
- If you get a five-
- A five or a six.
- It was 18.
You have to get a five or a six.
- Get that big six.
- You got it.
- Big six. Two.
- Brutal.
- Brutal. Adaine, that's you.
- I can't do that much
damage against this guy,
but I can do a lot of
damage against the robots.
- I know, but the robots
are just controlled by him.
I did 40 damage. Really f*cked him up.
- Yeah, so he's pretty f*cked up.
Okay, so I'm gonna summon
another air elemental.
- [Ally] Nice, with two attacks.
- Bring the Dry Guy back!
- Bring him back.
- Bring him back. We love the Dry Guy.
- God, I love the Dry Guy.
- He hosts the podcast?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- It's by mephits, for mephits.
- Wanda's not listening to that podcast.
- Are you sure?
- She's listening to something
that's about complicated women.
- It's just an essay.
- The Complicated Women Podcast?
- Okay, Kristen has to be able
to make a f*cking appearance there.
- Are you listening to
the CW? I love the CW.
- I love the CW.
- So the air elemental is up.
It's a 90 foot range, so the
air elemental is back up.
Up the butthole.
- Back up the butthole.
Okay, go ahead and roll your attacks.
- I put the name of that podcast
in my extremely important notes list.
- So close.
- Of major plot points.
- [Zac] Complicated Women?
- First is a 16, which
I'm assuming misses.
- Misses. Shield is still up.
- Oh lord.
- No.
- The air elemental rushes
to join Grix in combat.
Any bonus actions from Adaine?
- I will cast True Strike
again so I have dodge,
so if any of these guys try and hit me,
they have disadvantage.
- Copy that.
Air elemental jumping up to
do battle with Grix. That is-
- Wait, hang on, can I use my
Bardic for the air elemental?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
- This is the 16.
- No, so the second one was,
I rolled a 9 plus 8, which
would've been 17 plus 2, 19.
Does 19 hit?
- 19 does not hit.
- g*dd*mn.
- He's got Shield up.
- He takes another shot at Riz, misses.
- Oh, thank god.
- Okay.
- Riz, you're our only hope!
- No! Don't put any more pressure on me!
- You've got this, The Ball.
- If I take a stress point,
can Riz roll with triple advantage?
- That's a really good question.
- That is once again
Principal Grix's turn.
- Big Grix.
- Big Grix.
- Big Grix.
- You're so getting fired for this.
- He tried to k*ll us.
- Oh yeah.
- You're going viral, bud.
- Can we film him?
- I'm streaming this. I'm
stunned, but I'm still streaming.
- Yeah, you're like...
- Say hello to TikTok.
- I am going to need a Wisdom saving throw
from Riz Gukgak.
- No!
- Riz!
- The Ball, you're the wisest guy I know.
[dice rolling]
- If I take five stress
tokens, will you...
- Take five. You got an eight?
- Yeah.
- Grix looks at you and says,
"Your situation. Your temperament.
What cause do you have
with these Bad Kids?
Do you not see that
there is a better world?"
And imposed in your mind's eye is a vision
of Lord Salazar Edge's
Academy for Solo Adventurers,
and he casts Dominate Monster on you.
He can command you, essentially.
- Counterspell.
- And the range is 60 feet,
so he's got to get within 60 feet of Riz.
This is a big Counterspell.
This is an 8th level spell.
This is definitely Box of Doom.
He is about to take over Riz's mind.
- So I've got to get a-
- I need this to happen.
- You need to hit an 18.
- Come on, come on!
- An 18, so I have a plus
four, so I have to get a 14.
- You need a 14 or higher
in the box to prevent this.
- Give us a win!
- Come on!
- We could use a win.
- It's a 12!
- f*ck me!
- Riz,
[hypnotic music]
you feel your mind slinking away.
Perfect order. Is that really so bad?
Isn't that sort of what you always wanted
on some deep, profound level?
As his lair action commences,
he is going to restore one of his spell-
roll to see if he can restore
one of his spell slots.
He is not able to restore
one of his spell slots.
Lawnmower is gonna come
for Riz at this point.
Two attacks coming in, Riz.
One hits for 13 points of slashing damage.
- Why did your parents
put something slashing
on the dildo machine?
- Yeah.
- I really can't answer that question,
[music fades]
and I'm really mad at you asking.
- [Ally] It's the lawnmower part of it.
It's the lawnmower part of it!
- I'm really mad at you for asking.
Adaine, you take six points of damage.
- Adaine, you're kicking
a man while he's down.
- If I take damage, do I roll
anything to not be charmed?
Do I get to reroll or anything?
- Ooh.
- Ooh!
- That's a very good point.
- Just trying to get an upside
to having my mind taken over
and getting attacked by a lawnmower.
- You make a new Wisdom saving throw.
- That's right, that's right!
- [Brennan] That was a bad
call on the robots' part.
- [Emily] Come on, Murph!
- Oh, that's probably not good enough.
- Do you have your Bardic?
- 16.
- You just need to not get a one.
- Okay, please!
- Is it a one?
- It's a one!
- He got a one!
- No! What?
- He got a damn one!
- Come on!
- Wait, that was a one?
- It was a one!
- Get out of here!
- There's dice all over the dome.
- Get out!
- I'll take six stress tokens
so Murph can reroll that save.
- That was so nasty.
- Also, over here, I just
rolled two nat ones in a row.
- That was nasty!
- Nobody pick that up.
I'll pick it up, I'll
pick it up. I'm sorry.
It was a joke. It was just a joke.
- Nobody pick that up. If
someone could bring me a little-
- Nobody pick that up!
- Nobody pick that up!
- So Fabian, it is your turn.
You have the Help action. You have Bardic.
- I don't think I have the Help action.
- Oh, you don't.
- [Emily] Take mine.
- You just have Bardic.
- [Emily] I'm cursed.
[dice rolling]
- No.
It's 11, and I can't get to 18.
So I'll just continue to roast.
I'm best medium rare.
Just a little pig.
- Riz, you get the command
to go after Kristen.
[tense music]
- You're pretty far away.
Not clear line of sight.
- [Lou] With his g*n?
- And you don't have advantage on Kristen.
- Okay.
- Honestly, disadvantage.
Look how much stuff is
in between us right here.
- I think I can hit
the forklift from here!
- You could do a bad cantrip or something.
- Just-
- [Brennan] Make an attack with your g*n.
- Okay.
Kristen, watch out! I'm
gonna get the forklift!
I think I can hit the tube right there!
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- I think I can hit the tube!
[tense music builds]
That's a two.
- Yes!
- Finally, Murph's bad
rolls come in clutch.
- Finally, finally, finally.
- Finally!
- I love the two crew.
[softer music returns]
- I miss the tube wildly.
- Pow. Grix looks very
disappointed in his new thrall.
Once again saying, "Perfect order,"
he turns his attention to Adaine
as Riz now goes after Kristen.
Kristen, it is your turn. You
have used your spell slot.
You look around you.
You see-
- [Emily] The vulture.
- [Murph] Freakin' hit me!
Throw a rock at me!
- Fly!
- Get the vulture.
- [Murph] Throw a rock at me!
- I-
- You could probably bonus
action throw a rock at him.
- Can I bonus action throw a rock
at Riz to try to knock him out?
- I'll hit the tubes near all of you!
- You wanna try to throw a rock at Riz?
- Bonus action.
- Bonus action.
Yeah, I'll let you throw
a rock as a bonus action.
- [Siobhan] An unarmed strike?
- Riz, I'm sorry!
[die rolling]
- No, that's not gonna do it.
- Okay, I'm gonna run
even further to the stage,
kinda hide behind these, and
give Gorgug the Help action.
- Yeah. I think as you do that,
you look up and see the
vulture up above you.
[thoughtful instrumental]
- Get up there. You can
fly, you can literally fly!
- I am up this high.
- You're right near it.
Now, the question I
have to ask you is this.
Do you want to give the Help action-
- To the vulture?
- ...or do you want
to interact with the vulture?
- Are you sure?
Okay, I use my entire action to-
- Yeah?
- ...engage with the vulture.
- You have three allies who are stunned.
One of them is Dominated.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Your wizard is alone
in the center of the b*ttlefield,
surrounded by enemies.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, no, I think this
is good. I like this.
- I kinda stand up a
little bit more straight
so I look a little bit more presentable.
We were eating earlier,
I think we can all agree,
so maybe there's a crust-
- [Siobhan] Yeah, we
can all agree on that.
- ...of bread-
- That you saved?
- ...in my pocket.
- Vultures famously love bread.
- And I just kind of-
- I mean, when you're
on the campaign trail,
you always gotta have
a snack in your pocket.
- You always gotta have a snack.
You know, Hillary Clinton
had hot sauce in her bag.
- So there's just a normal vulture.
It's just here on this
piece of scaffolding.
You hold a piece of bread up to it.
- I start climbing the scaffolding.
- Aren't you flying?
- Yeah, I can only fly so high.
- The legs are kind of-
- Just floating.
You're like an astronaut
moving through space.
- You're really easily climbing.
- A crust of bread.
- Great upper body workout.
- I go, Cassandra, if you can hear me,
please help me talk to this vulture.
- I can't believe this
is the season finale.
- Oh, the vulture! Doubt and death!
- We just gotta hit this guy, like, once.
- Badly injured Grix.
- The mystery of the vulture!
- So many allies down.
You go to the vulture.
You hand it bread. Totally normal vulture.
As you hand it, do you reach
to a place of doubt and uncertainty?
- Yes. Abso-f*cking-lutely, Brennan.
Ally Beardsley is at a place
of doubt and uncertainty with this move.
- You've been investigating
vultures that have nothing
to do with what's going on
at all since freshman year.
- Yeah.
- Repeat for me again,
what do you say as you
extend bread to this vulture?
- I'm talking to Cassandra and I say,
please help me reach out to this vulture.
[Brennan caws]
Hey.
Hey, girlie.
Hey, girlie.
- What did you call me?
- What?
- What did you call me?
[metal music]
- What? No!
- [yelling] You have trifled
with me for the last time!
You are entering the Vulture Dimension!
- What? What?
- No!
- What?
- No!
- All of you vanish from
the Thistlespring Tree
and are transported to
the Vulture Dimension,
and that's where we're gonna end
this episode of "Dimension 20".
[music fades]
- [Murph] Okay!
- There was a carbon
monoxide leak in the dome.
- There was a carbon monoxide
leak in the minis workshop.
- We'll see you next week
in the Vulture Dimension.
Tune in. Thanks for watching.
- Part of me was like,
it's a bummer that Brennan
has to make some sh*t up to
help us get through this battle.
- [Brennan] The members
of My Clerical Gnomance
have been struck by powerful
magic from Principal Grix.
- I know how to handle this.
- Okay.
- I'll Minor Illusion a sexy rat.
- [Lou] No! Come on. Come on, dude!
- We're gonna find your husband.
- Or wife. You're assuming.
- Or wife. Or partner!
- Don't f*cking tell me what to do!
- Okay.
- You are the f*cking treasurer!
- Okay, okay! I'm sorry!
- I think I hate you, and
you're just f*cking in my way.
- What do you do to something in your way?
- You knock it down.
- Hi, who am I speaking to?
- David.
- Get a lock! Get a lock on the location!
All of you discover the
body of Lucy Frostblade.
- Holy sh*t.
- Is everything all right, Ms. Abernant?
- No, everything's fine.
Everything's absolutely fine.
What could be more fine?
Everything's peachy.
I love my life.
- One of the entire classes at the school
is gonna be moved to pass-fail.
- The entire class?
- You are cursed.
You're like 100% cursed,
and it's not even just to the person,
it's to the world just
kinda generally around them.
- Yeah. Yeah.
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, let's go ♪
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
21x08 - Fracas at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival
Watch/Buy Amazon
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.