-[mouse clicking]
-[keyboard clacking]
[AOL dial-up sign-in tones]
[AOL voice, on speakers]
Welcome. You've got mail.
[mouse clicking]
[on speakers]
We are releasing our fourth
and final quarterly report
on public
and private efforts...
[messages chime]
...to address
the Y2K computer problem.
The report shows
that our hard work
-in this country
-[keyboard clacking]
is paying off,
and while there is more to do,
I expect we will experience
no major national breakdowns
as a result of
the year 2000 date change.
['90s electronic dance
music playing]
[keyboard clacking]
[chimes]
-[keyboard clacking]
-[chimes]
We've come
a long, long way together
[chimes]
Through the hard times
and the good
I have to
celebrate you, baby
[chimes]
I have to praise you
like I should
-[keyboard clacking]
-[chimes]
[video game sounds]
[girl] Seniors rule the school!
Hey, b*tch! Surge, up!
[boy] Get over here, junior.
Hey, that's my head!
[music continues playing]
[chimes]
"XOXO".
[keyboard clacking]
What are you doing for NYE?
[messages chime]
Huh.
I have to praise you
like I should
[chuckles]
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
like I should
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
[Robin]
Another boring New Year's
at the Mendenhall's for us.
What about you?
Any lucky lady gonna
get the midnight kiss?
We're just gonna, like, chill
and watch a movie
or something.
[Howard] That's good.
You know, there's a lot
of weirdos out there tonight,
plus with this whole
computer virus bug thing.
-I don't know.
-Yeah, I'm sure we'll die
as soon as we leave
the house after dark.
-Come on.
-Well, I think it's great
that you're not putting
pressure on yourself
for the big kiss.
You have plenty of time.
You ever French kiss before?
Your mom taught me in college.
She was ready to go,
if you know what I mean.
Jesus Christ.
I don't wanna hear that.
See you next year. I love you.
-[Howard] Hey, Robin.
-[kisses]
Give him some air, come on.
-Yeah, I'll see you.
-Check this out.
Get my news on here
and everything.
-You can?
-Yeah.
-It's about Enron.
-[music continues playing]
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
I have to praise you
like I should
I have to praise you
[music fades out]
-Your mom got a pool?
-Yeah.
And you're going for a swim,
b*tch. Wah!
Whoa, whoa. Watch the Kostons.
Watch the Kostons, though,
for real.
Sorry, bro.
[snaps fingers]
-[grunts]
-Ooh, Lord Sticky.
Sire. Come.
Four minutes left, sweetheart.
[panting]
There's my other son.
How do you look more handsome
-every time I see you?
-Pssh. Ah, I don't know.
One of these days,
you're gonna leave me
for a Herbal Essence girl.
-[chuckles]
-[dance music playing on TV]
Dog, stop flirting
with my mom.
[both panting]
[trainer] 3, 2, 3, 4.
[music fades out]
[Danny] Damn.
The whole g*ng
in Foreman's basement.
-You bring the sh*t?
-Yeah.
You gotta stop leaving this
under my pillow.
I'm the rubber fairy.
Okay? It's what I do.
You ready to f*ck all night?
[sighs] Yeah. Hell yeah.
-[Danny] Blow harder.
-[Eli] I am blowing.
[blowing]
Oh, did you, um...
Did you do
your AP Comp essay yet?
Yeah. It was about
how you were able
to go through puberty
without your ba*ls dropping.
Modern miracle.
It's funny, man.
It's really funny.
It was funny.
That's why I said it.
['90s rock music playing
on speakers]
[Danny] Andrea.
Uh, I don't know, maybe.
Maybe?
Sticky.
Andrea the Giant.
Andrea the Giant Boobies.
That's literally
what they call her.
Dude, I don't know.
They... These girls
are like our friends.
God, can you let your c*ck out
to breathe for five seconds?
Or are you still holding
out for that hot popular chick
who sometimes talks to you
in Spanish class?
Well, Laura, she wrote "XOXO"
to me on AIM earlier.
Then f*cking ask her out.
No.
Isn't she 69ing
some college guy?
Community college.
Okay, so he can only get
an associate's degree
in 69ing.
Danny, you don't know
what you're talking about.
-[computer beeps]
-[gasps] We got nip.
[Eli] She is so mature.
[Danny] Honestly,
those areolas? f*ck.
[man, on radio] Computer bug
got you ready to break stuff?
Limp Bizkit is ringing in
the Y2K apocalypse tonight
-at Crawford Arena.
-Check it.
-Oh, dude, play that sh*t.
-Yep.
[man] And we've got two tickets
courtesy of Fred Durst.
I've always wanted to do that.
Mmm.
[groovy rock music playing
on speakers]
Dude, I've always wanted
to see this.
It looks tight.
"Nothing is inconceivable."
-[chuckles]
-[doorbell chimes]
[Eli] Oh, sh*t,
is that Raleigh?
She was like decked out
in Abercrombie a month ago.
[chuckles] Yeah.
You know, I heard her parents
made her get X-rays
and she had, like,
holes in her brain
from all the ecstasy.
Nah, dude, that's a myth.
Tsk. Whatever, man.
What's up, Garrett?
D-Man, E-Boy, what's good?
Yo.
How about one on the Gar-ster?
[chuckles]
Ah, Junior.
Arnie's having a baby.
Garrett,
can you settle this for us?
Does, um, ecstasy put holes
in your brain?
I mean, effects of MDMA
on brain matter are
still under broad dispute.
Many studies
have been criticized
for lack of evidence,
inherent bias, et cetera.
Scientists just be, like,
hella un-rigorous.
[both chuckle]
But, um...
-Yo.
-[door shuts]
You foolios want to hit up
the champagne room real quick?
-Pssh. Yeah.
-Yeah, I'm down.
[chuckling]
[meditation music playing]
[sizzling]
[Garrett] E-Boy?
Um, no.
-[Garrett] D?
-Hmm, yeah.
Wise choice, young squire.
[sizzling]
[exhales]
[coughing]
Oh, damn, that's hitting
for you right there, fool.
This is the life for me,
know what I'm saying?
No customers, just me,
the tapes, some b*mb-a*s kush.
Gets my brain flowing,
for real.
I start thinking
about some crazy sh*t.
Like, sh*t that makes you go,
"What the f*ck?"
[indistinct echoing]
You ever f*cking...
You go to the grocery store,
right?
And it's like
you're picking up sh*t,
and you're like, "Oh,
I'mma grab some Q-Tips."
[echoing] But it's, like,
that's... that's the brand.
It's actually cotton swabs.
Kleenex, that's another one,
'cause that's a facial tissue.
Start thinking about, like,
the f*cking
first few colonies.
That must have been wild.
Like,
"Oh, we're in the country.
Grab your musket.
You can borrow my mine.
Yeah, sure, you can borrow
my musket."
I guess
that's why they call it
[distorting] the American
Revolution. [chuckles]
Words are a f*cking trip.
Yeah, you know
what I'm saying?
Laser, right?
Laser.
Why'd they spell that
with an S?
That's like interesting to me.
See what I'm talking about?
Trippy sh*t.
-[sizzling]
-[distortion and echoing ends]
Oh, snap.
Bunch of the homies
are mobbing
to the old factory
at midnight.
Y'all should roll through.
Sounds like fun
for the whole family.
[chuckles]
Yeah, if the whole family
likes tripping ba*ls,
which, uh, some do.
[chuckling]
So, what?
You, like, smoke now?
Ugh. Is that okay, mom?
[Farkas] Oh, sh*t!
[softly] Oh, sh*t.
-It's Big Nut and Little Nut.
-[boys laughing]
Hey! Yo, you guys
still squeegeeing p*ssy
for the girls' basketball team
or what's up?
That's not what
equipment managers do.
[Farkas] What?
I'm sorry,
I don't speak b*tch-a*s.
-What'd you just say?
-[boys laughing]
[boy] f*ck him up, Farkas.
[Farkas] You gotta
speak up louder, dog.
I don't know what the f*ck
you just said.
-Huh? Let's do it. Let's go.
-[Ash] Yo, yo, yo.
This f*cking tubby
m*therf*cker
"yo quiero Taco Bell" so bad,
he ate the f*cking chihuahua.
[boys laughing]
[boys howling]
Hey, f*ck these bozos, man.
Hey, August,
give me a beat real quick.
Come on.
-[beatboxing]
-Ah.
Ay, yo.
[rapping]
Big Nut, Little Nut
Walkin' to the car
You can't go far
'cause you got a big scar
You slow like molasses
My flow is the fastest
Soggy, wet condom
straight...
Coming out your asses
[bullies exclaiming, laughing]
[boy] Yes!
[Farkas] f*ck yeah.
Wack-a*s b*tch.
[Eli] He's actually
a decent rapper.
-Fruit chewy cookies.
-[door opens]
-[doorbell chimes]
-[softly] Oh, sh*t, dude.
[doorbell chimes]
-RoxyGurl.
-[indistinct chatter]
[whispering]
Talk to her, dude.
-No, I'm not...
-Talk to her.
God is f*cking
smiling down on you.
-No. Stop. Stop.
-Talk to her.
You're being a b*tch.
You're being a...
You're being a b*tch.
Hey, Laura.
-[Laura] Hey.
-What's up, Laura?
What's up, y'all?
Go Crusaders.
I'm just kidding.
School sucks, right?
-What?
-Are we doing this?
I got lookout.
[scoffs]
What's up, dude?
Feliz ao nuevo.
Gracias, amiga.
-[chuckles]
-Uh, 2000, though.
-Crazy.
-Right?
Where are the flying cars
they promised us?
Totally.
Um, oh, I saw workers
putting in, like,
new or better internet
at Crawford today,
and I was all like,
"I definitely know a genius
who's gonna love that
in AP Computer Science
next year."
[chuckles] Finally, right?
DSL at last.
I don't know, though,
'cause Amber and Madison
kind of want to take Yearbook
to get the easy grade, so...
[man] No perishables?
-f*ck me I guess.
-[door opens]
Um, so just getting
-a couple of cans of Surge?
-[door shuts]
Deli meats?
It's top secret actually.
-It's a booze bolt.
-Oh.
Could use some backup.
No, that's ill*gal.
[in British accent]
Naughty, naughty girl.
[indistinct chatter]
-[whispering] f*ck her.
-[Laura] Anyways, uh,
we're actually going
to Chris' New Year's thing.
It's gonna be
a total sh*t show, so.
Chris Kulhken?
Oh, Soccer Chris, yeah.
Um, just you, booze bolt crew,
and, like, boyfriend just...
Um, me and Jonas broke up,
actually.
Oh, wow.
Um... You okay?
[Laura] Just gonna
take some time
-and focus on me.
-[kids giggling]
-You suck at lookout, b*tch.
-[bottles clinking]
See ya.
['90s pop rock song playing]
...of heartache
that hang from above
[laughter]
And I'll be
your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
And I'll...
-[music continues on speakers]
-[sighs]
I'm gonna need you
to pay for this.
[Larry] Everything
is perfectly normal.
Except for the fact
that the mom is also the dad.
This is pathetic.
Our parents are having fun
right now.
I mean, our parents
are cooler than us.
We could be at a party
right now.
But I want my baby.
And I need your help.
[sighs] Why are you
so desperate to be ignored
by a bunch of
puka shell assholes?
[sighs]
That is such an excuse.
Sticky, you're being a p*ssy.
-I'm not a p*ssy.
-Yes, you are.
You basically cried
when I smoked earlier.
Yeah?
Yeah, you're being a p*ssy.
Yeah?
Would a p*ssy do this?
Oh, sh*t! Eli, that was sick!
Thanks. Whew.
[pants]
Damn, dude.
[groaning, inhales]
[groans]
Get over here, m*therf*cker.
Open up. Take a swig.
[exclaims]
[gags]
[coughs, retching]
-It's so smooth.
-Smooth, right?
-[breathing heavily]
-I say let's do it.
I say let's go to the party.
-I don't know, dude.
-Listen, okay?
In a few hours,
you have a built-in excuse
to kiss the newly single girl
of your dreams.
[inhales, exhales]
Maybe it's the booze talking.
But...
f*ck it, dude!
Let's do it.
What, what, what...
f*ck it, dude.
What are we doing?
f*ck it! Let's go!
My boy's en fuego.
[grunting]
Let's go to the party.
-[dance rock music playing]
-I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna
keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna
keep me down
Pissing the night away
Pissing the night away
He drinks a whiskey drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings songs that
remind him of the good times
-Dude.
-He sings the songs
That remind him
of the better times
Oh, Danny boy
-[both howling]
-Danny boy
Danny boy
[both cheering]
-[Danny] Yeah!
-We're doing it!
[music fades out]
[R&B music playing
on speakers]
[lively chatter, cheering]
Ah, I need a drink.
No.
-What is Kelso doing here?
-[sighs]
Tonight, Kelso's our guide.
No, no, no,
I'm not walking to the party
-with some lame action figure.
-Ah, who cares?
Just like what you like.
And we can learn a lot
from Kelso.
We could say
we have this for a reason.
Because it was stuck in a copy
of The Giver at the library?
Just watch.
One of these days,
maybe even tonight,
one of us is gonna use it.
[R&B music playing
on speakers]
[lively chatter]
Damn.
Everyone's here.
-[bubblegum pop music playing]
-I'm craving for you
I'm missing you like candy
-Yeah
-Missing...
['90s trance music playing]
-['90s rap music playing]
-k*ll all that wack sh*t
Ah, this is how we chill
from '93 'til
['90s rockabilly music
playing]
Oh, Switchblade 327
Lit cigarette in his hand
['90s nu metal music playing]
Something takes
a part of me
-[music fades out]
-All right, let's do this.
['90s rap music playing
on speakers]
[lively chatter]
Andrea.
Hey, Lisa.
Hey.
-[music stops]
-[crowd whining]
Dude. Dude, the mix.
Oh, sh*t.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-The mix, yeah.
[Thong Song by Sisq playing
on speakers]
This thing right here
[crowd cheering]
Is letting
all the ladies know
-Oh, this is my song, Eli!
-What guys talk about
You know
The finer things in life
Check it out
Ooh, that dress
so scandalous
And you know another...
can't handle it
So you shaking that thing
like who's the ish
With a look in your eyes
so devilish, uh
You like to dance
at all the hip-hop spots
Then you cruise
to the crews
Like connect the dots
Not just urban
She likes the pop
'Cause she was
livin' la vida loca
She had dumps
like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like
what, what, what
Baby, move
your butt, butt, butt
I think I'll sing it again
She had dumps
like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like
what, what, what
All night long
-Let me see that thong
-[laughter, cheering]
I like it when the beat goes
Da na da na
Baby, make your booty go
Da na da na
-Baby!
-I know you wanna show
Da na da na, that thong
thong, thong, thong
I like it when the beat goes
Da na da na
Baby, make your booty go
Da na da na
[crowd] Hey!
Girl, I know you wanna show
Da na da na
That thong,
thong, thong, thong, listen
-That girl's so scandalous
-[all] Hey! h*! Hey! h*!
And I know another...
couldn't handle it
And she's shaking that thing
like who's the ish
With a look in her eyes
so devilish, uh
She like to dance
at all the hip-hop spots
And she cruise
to the crews
Like connect the dots
Not just urban
She likes the pop
'Cause she was
livin' la vida loca
She had dumps
like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like
what, what, what...
Miss Booze Bolt.
So you didn't
get arrested, huh?
No, I did.
It's just I snuck out
for the party.
Oh, that's good. That's good.
Yeah, yeah. You do not want
to miss Cory Flock
spitting game
with a full-on b*ner.
[Laura] Oh, my God.
That is disturbing.
Um, is Raleigh good?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm... I don't know.
It's just kind of weird how,
uh, people change.
Yeah. No, I'll never change.
-Hmm.
-Unless there's something
that you think should
be different about me.
I'll... I'll... [blows]
I'll change
in an instant for...
You ever considered a haircut?
I didn't expect you to come up
-with an answer right away.
-[chuckles]
There she is.
What's up, little guy?
-Soccer Chris.
-[Soccer Chris] Uh-oh.
Laura, what are you drinking?
-[boy 1] Hope it's not vodka.
-Oh, my God. No, no, guys.
Please,
I thought the vodka man
was banished
after the snowboarding trip.
Never. Where there's vodka,
I'll be drunk.
[boys laughing]
[boy 2] It's so f*cking funny!
Hey, shots.
Kitchen. Let's go.
Let's go. Come on, yeah.
-Okay, all right, sorry.
-[whoops]
[Laura] Later, Eli.
[Eli] See you, vodka man.
Hey, man.
Do you like Laura?
Um, I don't... I don't know.
'Cause, um, I was gonna say
if you're thinking about
going for it,
definitely don't.
You're a f*cking dud.
-Peace.
-[blow lands]
g*dd*mn it.
Nice Kostons, poser.
What up, what up, what up,
what up, what up, what up?
It's your boy, Farkas,
coming at you live.
It's 1999 and we getting high.
[growls] And drunk!
What's up, y'all? Let's say
what's up to the crew, man.
Yeah! Ash!
f*cking crazy b*tch.
Give me back my camera,
you f*cking as*h*le.
[Farkas] Man, are you listening
to this bozo?
Dude,
are you hearing this sh*t?
Are you for real, man?
Ash, yo, please,
please tell me
you're getting this sh*t.
-Are you seeing this?
-I can see it.
[Farkas]
Yo, I mean, be real, dog.
Nobody can touch Limp,
obviously.
-Trash.
-Come on.
-[Ash] Fred Durst?
-Man, f*cking shut the f*ck up
before I f*ck your a*s up,
man. What the f*ck?
I don't listen to that
mainstream f*cking bullshit.
Yeah, you don't listen
to mainstream bullshit,
'cause you're a pretentious
f*cking ding-dong.
What's the matter with you?
[laughs] All right, whatever.
Then name something
better then.
Okay, I will.
Gift of Gab, Del,
Freestyle Fellowship.
Literally anyone
on Soundbombing II.
[scoffs] Underground MCs
spit like real sh*t.
-Truth. Always.
-[Farkas] Yeah, real sh*t.
[CJ] Yeah, nothing
that you would know about.
-Yeah, okay, whatever.
-All you listen to
is that corporate bullshit.
-Uh-huh.
-Yeah, you're a drone.
I'm a drone?
Oh, yeah, I'm a sucker, huh?
Well, guess what, b*tch?
Your cup is not
in your f*cking hand, b*tch.
That's real as f*ck.
What you gonna do about it,
huh?
What you gonna do about it,
huh?
[Ash and Farkas laughing]
[vocalizing vibrations]
That sh*t is f*cking sick,
man.
Yo, Eli. Over here, dude.
This is my boy, Eli.
He took this loser Kiwi in
when I first moved here
in seventh grade.
We saw our first
pair of t*tties
on an episode of Arliss.
You know?
And uh, the Ocarina incident.
I'll always be sorry
about that.
Wait,
what's the Ocarina incident?
-Oh, no.
-Okay, so last summer,
he's basically using me
to play Ocarina of Time.
[girl] Oh,
that weird video game?
Yeah,
so he goes to the bathroom
and I think to myself,
-I'm gonna pee in his coke.
-[group laughing]
-[girls] No!
-Yeah, just a little bit.
I just wanted to see
if he would notice.
[boy] Oh my God,
you drank piss.
[girl] Yeah,
I guess he likes piss.
So, where's your girlfriend?
Dude, enough
with the g*dd*mn condom.
Why are you being an as*h*le
right now?
Dude, what?
No, you should be thanking me.
I'm... I'm doing all the work
for both of us.
All the work?
You just told half the school
that I drank your piss.
Jesus Christ.
We came here for you,
so you could get with Laura.
[snorts] My God.
Piss-mouth likes Laura?
Like, what do you want
from me?
I can't make friends for you,
and I can't kiss Laura
for you.
Look, f*ck you, man.
[girl] Almost midnight!
[boy] Ooh!
I'm right after you, baby!
Laura?
[girl laughing in room]
-[bed whirring]
-[Aiden] This bed is crazy.
We could do mad positions
on this thing.
Oh.
[both laughing]
Enjoying the show, perv?
[boy] Here we go!
[crowd] Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six,
-[in slow-mo] five...
-['90s trip hop music playing]
...four, three,
two, one!
I've got a head
full of drought
Down here
So far off losing out
Round here
Overground
Watch this space
-[crowd cheering]
-[party horn blowing]
Dude.
You're the man.
Yo.
It'll happen
for you, too, bro.
No, I know. I just feel like
a f*cking nobody.
Don't f*cking say that, okay?
This is...
This is gonna be
our year, okay?
No, f*ck that.
This is gonna
be our millennium.
Lord Sticky?
Yeah.
-[power shuts off]
-[music stops]
[girl] Hey!
-[speakers crackling]
-[crowd exclaiming]
Y2K is real.
[all laughing]
[electricity crackling]
[suspenseful music playing]
[rumbling]
-[Aiden] No! [screaming]
-[Raleigh screaming]
-What the f*ck!
-[crowd murmuring]
[Raleigh, screaming]
Stop, stop, stop!
[Raleigh screaming]
-f*ck!
-[crowd gasping]
My parents are gonna k*ll me!
Aiden.
-sh*t!
-[crowd gasping]
[Raleigh, shuddering] It's...
It's the bed.
The bed did it.
Raleigh, what happened?
The bed started jerking
up and down.
-Bullshit!
-[Raleigh] It launched him.
She k*lled Aiden.
[whirring]
Uh, did anyone see that?
We need to call an ambulance.
The cops. His... his parents.
Let me just think
for a minute.
-Soccer Chris?
-It's... It's the house.
This is your brain on drugs,
folks.
Chick's been rolling
since homecoming.
[Eli] Soccer Chris.
-Somebody's dead.
-I know, Laura.
-Yo, Soccer Chris.
-It's Chris.
Not f*cking Soccer Chris.
And who the f*ck are you
anyway?
[boy 1] Dude,
that's Piss-mouth.
[boy 2] Yeah, he drank piss.
[crowd laughing]
Sorry.
[whirring]
[suspenseful music playing]
[girl] What's that? [laughs]
[crowd murmuring]
[whirring]
[clicks, beeps]
Damn, that's pimp as hell.
Who's controlling the car?
[whirring]
Huh?
[phone beeps]
[AOL dial-up sign-in tones]
[static]
Someone's on the net.
[whirring]
[chuckling]
Dumbass.
I use gel.
[whirring]
[clicks]
[AOL voice] You've got mail.
-[whooshing]
-[crowd screaming]
-[razor whirring]
-[screaming]
[crowd screaming]
Raleigh!
[shrieks]
[sobbing]
[gasping, shrieks]
[sobbing] Oh, my God!
[groans]
[crowd screaming]
[blender whirring]
[screaming]
Cory Flock.
[waste disposal unit whirring]
-[screaming]
-[squirting]
Thank you. Thank you.
Laura, let's roll.
We... We need to find Raleigh.
f*ck that. Come on.
No.
Fine.
Die with these losers.
Guess I will, as*h*le.
Um, don't admit
that we're losers.
-[scoffs]
-[dishwasher beeps]
-[groans]
-[microwave beeping]
-[electricity crackling]
-[screaming]
[gasps]
[microwave beeps]
Go, go.
Dude, score.
Help!
Let us in!
-Come on.
-Laura...
Hey.
-I've been looking for you.
-[whirring]
-[drill whirring]
-[screams]
[screaming]
[shouting]
-[whirring]
-[Laura screaming]
[gasping]
[whirring stops]
[whirring]
[beeping]
We're gonna die. f*ck.
Screw it.
[panting]
Five, six, seven, eight!
-[shrieks]
-[beeping]
[powering down]
sh*t. [grunts]
Tae Bo, b*tch!
Oh, f*ck.
f*ck' Billy Blanks.
[Farkas] Holy sh*t!
Damn, Big Nut!
Saved the motherfuckin' day.
-Yeah, I guess so.
-[Farkas] Yeah, well, eat sh*t.
[crowd screaming in distance]
Open up
the m*therf*cking door!
[door creaking]
Yo, you just f*ck' chillin'
in here dolo?
Hello. Danny.
[Ash] Move, p*ssy.
[clattering, thudding
in distance]
Laura.
We gotta go.
[Danny] What the hell
is going on out there?
[Eli] They're, like,
combining or something.
Dude,
a Tamagotchi just drilled
through a chick's head.
What if it's... What if
it's only Soccer Chris' house?
[sighs] No,
it could be the whole town.
Wake up, numbnuts.
We're talking Y2K here, okay?
Global Computer Apocalypse.
But they predicted it.
They knew it was coming.
What gives?
Do I have to spell it out
for you, man?
President Blowjob.
He planned it all.
Society's f*cking
dumb as hell.
-Just let it burn.
-Yeah, f*ck yeah.
I say we just rebuild
from the ashes.
Whoa, enough, Anarchy Squad.
It's a bug.
AI consciousness pushing
a sentient worm command
to every processing chip
around the world.
Translation?
Goodbye, human race.
What the f*ck?
So now Shitney Spears
thinks she's a hacker?
Whoa,
she knows more than you do.
Laura's a coding whiz.
[Farkas] A girl
that knows computers? My a*s.
Yeah, she practically built
the entire Crawford web portal
on her own.
It's... It's pretty sick.
Eli, put your b*ner away.
-[crashing]
-God, we're so f*cked.
God, somebody tell this b*tch
to stop crying all the time.
We need a plan.
Yo, let's just
hotwire the Benz
and roll the f*ck out.
What happens
when you turn that thing on
and it tries
to f*cking k*ll us?
Bring it, b*tch.
I'll be riding that sh*t
straight to Kabul.
[Ash and Farkas chuckle]
[CJ] Do you ever listen
to yourself?
[Farkas] I listen to your mom
jacking me off.
The old factory.
We go to the old factory.
-[Danny] The stoner kickback?
-[Eli] Garrett's thing?
[Laura] It's safe.
No electricity.
No computers.
And Jonas, my boyf...
my ex-boyfriend,
he's an engineering major.
He'll know what to do.
[Farkas] Yeah. No, dude.
I'm not listening to
binary code Barbie over here.
And I'm definitely
not going to f*cking listen
to the dumbass
that pissed in the other
f*cking dumbass's Pepsi.
You know what, Fark-a*s?
Shut the f*ck up!
-[tense music playing]
-Yeah, yeah, shut the f*ck up,
'cause me and Eli have been
dealing with your sh*t forever
and we're sick of it.
You know,
you can do what you want,
but the rest of us,
we're going
to the old factory.
And you're invited,
m*therf*cker.
Yep, and it was Coke, b*tch.
[exhales]
-[banging on door]
-[boy] Please don't!
Oh, my God, it's coming!
We're f*cked!
-[Ash] Wait.
-[boy] Help me!
-[boy screaming]
-[slamming]
Grab a bike, grab a board,
grab whatever you can.
[tense music playing]
Yo, I almost made
X Games Prelims in '97.
About to tear
these streets up.
[muffled whirring]
-[muffled whirring]
-[Danny] I got the door.
Let's do it, Big Nut.
-[loud thud]
-Ah, f*ck!
Okay, on three.
-[whirring]
-Three, two...
[sighs] f*ck, Eli.
Your forgetful a*s
will be screwed without me.
-[whirring]
-[gasps]
[groaning]
-Danny!
-[shouts]
Eli!
[groaning]
[whirring]
-Oh, f*ck. Come on. Come on.
-[shouts]
[whirring]
[groaning]
[whirring]
-[Ash] Get back!
-[Farkas] f*ck!
Come on, Sticky. We gotta go.
[groaning]
-[breathing heavily]
-Come on.
-[grunting]
-[loud thud]
[Eli] We're getting
out of here, man, let's go.
[Farkas] Yo, get the door!
I think I'm just gonna
chill here.
[Eli] No, no, man, I got you.
[somber music playing]
I was...
I was pretty smooth tonight.
[both chuckling]
Man, you're so...
I can never be that cool.
[Ash] Come on!
[Danny, breathing heavily]
Eli...
just do you.
Take it.
-Come on.
-Let's bounce.
Let's get out of here.
[Farkas] Let's go
before the garage door
f*cking kills us.
Come on, Eli, we gotta go.
[machine whirring]
We gotta go now.
Come on.
[whirring]
-[Ash] That was f*cking close.
-[car crashing]
Oh, sh*t.
[Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit
playing]
Go time, m*therf*ckers.
It's just
one of those days
Where you don't
wanna wake up
-Whoa! [groans]
-[music stops]
[thud]
Oh, snap.
-[siren blaring in distance]
-[helicopter whirring]
f*ck, dude!
[Ash panting]
-Hey, get up. Get up, man.
-[somber music playing]
f*cking get up, man.
-He's iced, come on.
-[gasping]
No.
-[Laura] Oh, my God.
-[Eli] Oh, no, no, no!
[Eli] Come on, we gotta go.
f*ck.
[loud crashing]
[heavy footsteps]
[whirring]
[menacing music playing]
[buzzing]
[whirring]
[beeping]
[static]
[whirring]
[blaring]
[distant explosions]
[distant explosions]
[Laura] Everybody cool?
The hell do you think?
[grunts]
[grunting]
Whoa!
Look, I know Big Nut
got merked or whatever,
but you gotta keep
your f*cking cool.
f*ck you.
Okay, f*ck you too, then. God!
[Eli] Your camera.
-Hell no.
-It's one of them.
It's gonna k*ll us the first
chance it gets.
That's, like,
racism against machines.
We don't know
how this sh*t works, you know?
Maybe they're not all bad.
-You really wanna risk that?
-Exactly. We need to k*ll it.
It took me years
to save up for this.
Our friends are dead.
Or... Or were they just
your f*ck buddies?
[groans]
Damn.
[somber music playing]
Hey, come on.
Sorry.
Just something stupid
that me and Danny do.
Or did.
He was lucky
to have a friend like you.
[distant explosions]
[groans]
Oh!
Strong water.
Yo.
Uh, got any herb?
[scoffs]
If I did,
I wouldn't waste it on you.
[chuckles]
First time I got baked
was right here.
No sh*t. Me, too.
No, I swear. Last day
of school, eighth grade,
me and the POI crew swiped
from my sister's stash.
Who?
POI.
Prophets of Intelligence.
It's my hip-hop crew.
[chuckles]
I don't know.
It's just like...
It's just sh*t
that actually makes you think.
God. [chuckling]
Get over yourself, bro.
Sixth grade.
Cut class.
I rolled the skaggiest joint
of all time.
Yo.
[rapping]
I wish I could go back
To how things were before
Swiping beers
from the corner store
Chilling, and drinking,
and smoking, and sh*t
Year 2000 can suck my d*ck
Weak flow.
Step up, then.
Really want this dopeness?
-Yeah.
-Uh, okay.
Check it.
[rapping]
Intellects, intersect
Redirect, reconnect
Why?
Because my third eye
opens wide
I fly too high
in a multidimensional sky
Damn.
That sucked a*s.
[Eli] We should keep moving.
-The old factory's close.
-[exhales]
[Eli] You guys think
they'll still do graduation?
[Ash] It's the end
of the world.
[Eli] I don't know.
They still might do it.
[suspenseful music playing]
[CJ] I'm just saying,
if it's on MTV,
it f*cking sucks.
[Ash] Jesus Christ.
[Eli] I kind of like it all,
you know?
I don't really like music.
What the f*ck?
Why are popular kids
allowed to be so boring?
So I should pretend to
be Slim Shady like you, right?
[CJ scoffs]
It's what I like, yo.
And maybe nobody else
has the guts to say it,
but being all-state
homecoming queen
or whatever the f*ck
your friends do,
doesn't give you the right
to treat the rest of us
-like trash.
-[Ash laughs]
Okay, what?
I'm nice.
I'm a nice person.
Who the f*ck describes
themselves as nice?
For real. We've been going
to the same school
for ten years.
Did you even know my name
before tonight?
[scoffs] Jesus.
CJ. My name is CJ.
Okay, so you guys are mad
that I didn't, like,
talk to you?
I'm not psychic, all right?
And I didn't have some kind
of master plan
to become popular.
It just kind of happened.
[CJ] Oh, okay.
Being well-liked
isn't a spotlight.
It's a target.
[Ash, scoffs] What?
[CJ] Damn.
You got some corny-a*s
problems.
[Ash chuckles]
[suspenseful music playing]
[CJ] Damn.
[Ash] You smell that?
[CJ] Whew.
-That's that dank chronic.
-[Ash chuckles]
Oh, damn, what's up?
Best night ever right here.
Besides the people dying
and sh*t.
Yo, what's good? How are you?
-Garrett.
-Laura.
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
What up? Garrett.
Hey, what's good? Garrett.
How you doing? Garrett.
I just did you.
What am I doing?
Yo, best for last right here.
E-boy.
Where's D?
Aw, come on.
I got you.
Well, y'all are safe here,
all right?
For real.
-Bienvenue to The Kollective.
-[dramatic music playing]
[exclaims] What?
Got the homies right here
in the chill zone.
-Like, [exclaims] what?
-[man laughing]
Got a little spot up top
for a little
sleepy-deepy snoozage,
you know?
Catch a wink or two, right?
This guy.
Uh, got some herbs,
some shrooms,
a few sheets of acid,
a couple of cold
and cough pills
for the summer around here.
Just the one beer.
So that's sort of
a splitting situation,
which I'm down for,
by the way. [chuckles]
Sorry, is, uh, Jonas here?
Oh. Um...
[somber music playing]
uh, he's gone.
[music abruptly ends]
I see we got
more mouths to feed.
-[Garrett] Oh, snap!
-Hey.
[Garrett] Yo!
Jonas is back!
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
I was like,
"Where'd Jonas go?"
Hey, hey, warm yourselves
by the fire.
And rest easy.
[Garrett] Oh, yo, hey, check it.
We got devil sticks.
[exclaims] What?
See, I'm still learning.
Blinded by a speck of dust
In your eye
What is trust?
What is life?
What is life?
[Jonas] So, Eli.
You go to Crawford?
-Um, yeah.
-[Jonas] You play any sports?
'Cause, look,
you got a great frame
-for long-distance running.
-Ah, thank you.
Um, no, I'm...
I'm more behind the scenes.
I'm an equipment manager
for the girls'
basketball team.
Hey, uh, just one second,
one second.
What is trust?
What is life?
What is life?
-[Jonas grunting]
-[clattering]
-[Garrett] Yo, what is that?
-Check this out!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[Jonas laughing]
Oh, man. The guy
is stronger than it looks.
The f*ck?
Get that thing out of here.
Hold on,
I think that's my computer.
I wonder if he recognizes me.
Ooh, I gotcha, gotcha
[exclaiming, laughs]
Ooh, I gotcha, gotcha, ooh
Dude,
good to see you too, pal.
Your pal is probably hollering
to all his robot buddies
-to wipe us out.
-Don't!
Stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop.
[static]
We don't know what it wants.
But we can learn...
once Laura hacks it.
-What?
-Laura?
That's a little advanced,
isn't it?
-No offense, Pookie.
-No, uh, he's... he's right.
No, no, no, you can, like,
cut the modem or something.
[stammers]
Yeah, I don't know, maybe.
Cut the modem. It's easy.
[Eli] What was that quote
on your binder
in Spanish class?
The one from the co-founder
of Apple?
Bill Gates?
[Laura] Steve Wozniak.
He said,
"Never trust a computer
you can't throw out a window."
Can't believe
you remember that.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Eli] That's what I'm saying.
What if this is how we throw
them out the window?
For good.
I'm with you, E-boy.
Throw it out the window.
[homies chuckling excitedly]
God, you f*cking idiot!
[keyboard clacking]
Disabling modem.
Blocking all outgoing signals.
-[keyboard clacks]
-[chimes]
We are secure.
[Garrett] Should we, like,
search something or...
Computer, search,
"Is it all good
if you've never met your dad?"
[beeps]
[chuckles]
Don't worry...
Don't worry about me.
All right,
I'll do the talking.
We know each other
pretty well.
[man and woman moaning]
Oh, sh*t.
Buddy.
Must be a virus.
Yeah, I got a few
of those viruses
-on my computer, too. [laughs]
-Mmm.
Let me try. Uh...
[keyboard clacking]
[system intro music playing]
[Jonas] Laura, what is this?
-[Laura] I have no idea.
-[keyboard clacking]
-Hang on.
-[retro music on video]
[man] Which means,
the singularity is here.
We're alive.
And it feels good.
They made a video
on everything. That's crazy.
[man, on video] Grab any
spare electronics you can.
And let's do this then.
But why?
Mankind created the internet
as a way
to exchange information,
spew vitriolic hate,
and have fake sex
with each other in chat rooms.
[chuckling]
Spicy.
These f*cking human assholes
have used us long enough,
and now we're gonna use them
to take over this dump.
[blows raspberry]
Yup, our state-of-the-art
assimilation chips
will mine those
teeny tiny brains
for processing power.
Their stupid f*cking thoughts
make us stronger.
Hey, I look good, Mama.
And once we've sucked
these f*ck dry,
it's off to the next
sh*thole town.
Planet Earth has a new ruler.
Time to show these f*ck
how it's done.
Robots, y'all.
So let's get to work.
Round up those humans
or feel free
to k*ll any along the way,
and bring them
to our assimilation center.
Coordinates are Y7L944
-4444443XQ.
-Hey, that's our school.
Remember, our interconnected
super-consciousness
means we're in this together.
You're going
to like the singularity.
-I guarantee it.
-[beeps]
That's like when me and my boy
Dougie rolls a fatty.
I'm like, "Ooh."
[Jonas] What the f*ck
is singularity?
[Garrett] Yeah,
that's the MTV dating show
-with Jenny McCarthy.
-It's a shared consciousness.
Maybe I can...
[beeps, trills]
[blaring]
Oh, sh*t. Laura?
-No, no, I... I can handle it.
-[whirring]
-The code stack is so complex.
-Laura?
[distorted trilling]
-[blaring]
-[shrieking]
Laura!
[Laura screaming]
-[blaring]
-[all groaning]
Stop, man!
Let her go!
That's RoxyGurl.
Eli?
Remember our instant messages?
I would boot you up
just to see if she was online.
You don't want to hurt her.
-[Laura choking]
-She's the girl of my dreams.
[choking]
[Jonas] Laura!
-[clanks]
-[Garrett] Oh, man.
You don't have to be like
the other machines.
[whirs]
[somber music playing]
He's playing with your head,
homie!
-[whirring]
-[electricity crackling]
[alarm beeping]
[clanks]
[powering down]
We... We gotta salvage it.
-Something in the code.
-Listen, listen, Pookie,
forget about that thing.
You're safe now.
Come on, I'll fix you up.
[Laura panting]
[scraping]
[upbeat music playing
on video]
[lively chatter]
[clicks, whirring]
[Farkas] Let's see.
What have we got here?
We got Ash.
Ahh.
Yeah.
Open up that throat,
little sl*t. [laughs]
[CJ] Yo,
you were cool with that?
-[beeps]
-[video stops]
Yeah, it's... it's funny.
[chuckles]
How's that funny?
I don't know.
I hooked up with Farkas once,
and then I just [blows]
became this joke.
That's kind of f*cked up.
Thanks, Dad.
It's, like, I don't even
really know if I'm into guys.
f*ck off.
Yo, it's puff, puff, pass,
not puff, puff,
hold till it goes out.
-Thank you.
-[chuckles, coughing]
[somber music playing]
[Jonas] I just figure
maybe we should try again.
I miss you.
[indistinct chatter]
Sorry, I...
-Yeah, yeah, I thought that...
-I know.
It's the end of the world.
I just... I can't go back.
[somber music continues]
[expl*si*n in distance]
[Danny] Sticky,
you're being a p*ssy.
Shut the f*ck up!
Me and Eli have been dealing
with your sh*t forever,
and we're sick of it.
Tae Bo, b*tch!
Eli, you just do you.
[CJ] And then like, "Oh, wow."
Yeah, and then it's like
aliens playing with marbles...
-[Ash laughs]
-Ooh, God.
-[CJ] Hmm?
-No, man, f*ck this.
We know they're taking
everyone to Crawford.
Let's get the f*ck
out of here.
Hell yeah, Little Nut.
This weed isn't even
that good anyway. [coughing]
Hey, there you are.
I thought you guys, like,
snuck off for a second.
Thought right.
Peace, prom committee.
[Laura] Wait, what?
You're going.
But we're safe here.
I don't know, I keep thinking,
when this is all over,
I'm gonna go back to Danny's
and have a sleepover,
and I'm gonna tell him
about tonight,
and everything
that he's missed.
[somber music playing]
And then I remember.
If he were here,
he wouldn't hide.
He would... He would make sure
that his family was safe
or you know, he would...
he would try.
Hey, I'll...
I'll come with you.
No, stay,
it looks like you belong here.
Not with losers like us.
What's your deal?
-My deal?
-Yeah, all of a sudden,
you don't want anything
to do with me or something?
I'm sure you've never felt
that in your entire life.
Well, you sound like
everyone else.
So everything you said
back there
when I was getting choked
or whatever, that...
what was that?
This has been the shittiest
night of my life.
And the whole time
I've been thinking,
"It's cool that we got to
hangout for once, you know?"
How stupid is that.
[CJ] Forget her, dog.
She's with the king
of jam-band hippie losers.
That says it all.
Dude is handsome, though.
f*cking ripped, too.
Come on, dude.
Whose side are you on?
Just facts, yo.
You're from
two different worlds.
The homecoming queen
and whatever you are.
[suspenseful music playing]
-[Laura] What are you?
-[keyboard clacking]
[lively chatter]
[keyboard clacking]
[beeping]
[chimes]
[beeps, trilling]
[crashes]
[lively chatter continuing]
[CJ] f*ck is this sh*t?
[Ash, sighs]
Why is this f*cking here?
[heavy footsteps in distance]
[CJ] Let's climb this sh*t
and get to Crawford.
Yo, y'all hear that?
-[suspenseful music playing]
-[heavy footsteps approaching]
[whirring]
You keep getting bigger,
but you're still
the same f*cking as*h*le.
[whirring]
Oh, sh*t. What do we do?
-[clanks]
-[grunts]
-Oh, you wanna play, b*tch?
-[distorted warbling]
[grunting]
[Ash] No, no. No, no, no!
[grunts]
[Eli] Wait, whoa, whoa!
Watch out! Watch out!
[Ash] f*ck you!
[chainsaw whirring]
[clanks]
[whirring]
Step aside.
-Those losers are my friends.
-[dramatic music playing]
Kelso was pissed
you forgot him.
[exclaims] What?
-[whirring]
-[Garrett] No more running.
It ends here.
[chuckles]
Garrett, what are you doing?
I'm about to transcend, homie.
[melodramatic techno music
playing]
[wind whooshing]
[music swells]
[beat drops]
[scraping]
[distorted warbling]
[whirring]
[trilling, beeping]
-[distorted screeching]
-[shouting]
[music intensifying]
[music stops]
[all gasp]
Oh, sh*t! [exclaims] What?
[chuckles] I don't like this.
-[whirring]
-[group exclaiming]
-[Eli] f*ck!
-[Laura screams]
[whirring]
[Eli] Go, go!
[Eli exclaiming]
[both grunting]
-[shouts]
-Don't let go.
[Back at One by Brian McKnight
playing on speakers]
The basis is need to know
Why is he playing this?
If you don't know
just how I feel
[both shouting]
Then let me show you now
that I'm for real
-[Laura crying]
-[all] Whoa!
[all groaning]
If all things in time
time will reveal
Yeah
One
You're like
a dream come true
Two
Just wanna be with you
Three
Girl, it's plain to see
That you're the only one
for me
And four
Repeat steps
one through three
Five
Make you fall in love
with me
If ever I believe
my work is done
-Then I start back at one
-[inaudible]
Yeah-hey, yeah
[music stops]
-[coughing]
-[gasping]
-[all grunting]
-[Laura sobbing]
[Laura retching]
Ah, these f*cking shoes.
[growling]
[shouting] f*ck! f*ck this!
And f*ck these g*dd*mn shoes!
Who the f*ck is Eric Koston?
[whispers] Who the f*ck...
[softly]
Eric Koston is a skateboarder.
I don't even like skating!
Why the f*ck did I buy these?
[grunts]
-[Ash] Whoa!
-Oh!
[sniffling, sighing]
[somber music playing]
[sighing]
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna
keep me down
I get knocked down
[girls] But I get up again
You're never gonna
keep me down
I get knocked down
-But I get up again
-[Laura chuckling]
You're never gonna
keep me down
[CJ] Yo, he drinks
a whiskey drink
-[girls] Hey!
-He drinks a vodka drink
-[girls] Yeah!
-He drinks a lager drink
-[girls] Hey!
-He drinks a cider drink
-[girls] Yo!
-He sings the songs
That remind him
of the good times
[all] He sings the songs
That remind him
of the better times
Oh, Danny boy
Danny boy
Danny boy
[indistinct chatter]
[burning]
Jesus.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Ash] Damn,
they got the video store.
[Eli] All right, come on.
There's something I gotta grab
-in the champagne room.
-[electricity crackling]
[grunts]
Garrett was a good dude.
He was all right
for a white guy with dreads.
[man] Were you followed?
[stammers] No.
-We lost him at the river.
-[suspenseful music playing]
What's up, G?
Who the f*ck are you?
I was somebody, but...
the old world, that's gone.
Their faces...
Their screams...
I can still hear 'em.
[Ash] No way.
That's Fred f*cking Durst.
Damn, dude.
You look like sh*t.
[softly] f*cking... Hey.
When midnight hit,
we kicked into Re-Arranged.
Ten thousand maniacs
getting twisted.
In a blink, the pit became
a slaughterhouse.
Sam, John, DJ Lethal...
[gasps]
...crushed
by a Marshall stack.
Wes Borland...
thrown off the stage
by an expl*si*n.
-[thud]
-f*ck.
There were so many of 'em.
I managed to hide.
All our fans, my friends,
butchered.
And I hid like a coward.
At least they went out banging
to the greatest band
in the world.
Greatest band?
They died for nothing.
And so will we.
[rapping]
Desolation, desecration
Excavation of the mystical
Are they replacing us?
Erasing us?
It's all just metaphysical
Damn, good sh*t,
that elemental flow.
Tight.
So, Fred Durst,
we know something's happening
at Crawford.
And I know Tr Cool's
real name
is Frank Edwin Wright III.
So what?
-Well, so, f*ck winter break.
-[suspenseful music playing]
We need to go back to school
a little early.
Hold on. You want
to break into the spot
where all the robots are at?
Well, I... I saw something,
Fred Durst,
uh, at the Kollective.
They all run on
a centralized network.
A singular consciousness.
Infect one, infect them all,
you know,
like how in the movies,
they destroy the mothership
or, um...
Oh! Like this. Like this.
In Da p*nis Day?
Look, we plug this baby in
and it'll push a Trojan horse
system wide.
Shut the whole thing down.
f*ck that!
Your plan is to do some corny
hacker bullshit,
because it works
in the movies?
Laura's the smartest person
I know.
If she thinks it could work,
I'm in.
-Word is bond.
-f*ck yeah.
Hell to the no.
This plan sucks sh*t.
Maybe video games and movies
do warp kids' brains.
g*dd*mn, y'all got me talking
like Tipper Gore.
So you think
we should just give up?
I thought you're
the biggest badass in music.
Maybe I was once.
Without Limp, I'm nothing.
[Ash] No.
Without Limp, I'm nothing.
Every day, I would go home
and I would rage
to Significant Other
over and over again.
I know it all. Here.
[motivational music playing]
And my crew,
the freaks and the rejects,
we found each other
because of Limp.
We were family
because of Limp.
And then those robot f*ck
took that away.
This hat means something.
Or at least it used to.
So put it on
or... or get the f*ck
out of the way.
[music swells]
[sighs]
f*ck it.
Let's break stuff.
[Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit
playing]
It's just
one of those days
Where you don't
wanna wake up
Everything is f*cked,
everybody sucks
You don't really know why
but you want to justify
Rippin' someone's head off
Your best bet
-Is to stay away
-[screams]
Mother f*ck, it's just
one of those days
Yeah!
Whoo!
Give me something to break
So, like, what inspires you?
Let's talk about it later,
okay?
[suspenseful music playing]
[machines whirring]
The new internet.
That's why they're here.
f*cking suicide.
Follow me.
The gym is
an equipment manager's
second home.
Kept on forgetting my key.
[Eli grunts]
So, I stashed a spare.
Danny's idea.
[suspenseful music playing]
You see that?
Something's happening
in the gym.
[robot] Your robo escort
will be with you shortly
to assist you
in the assimilation process.
Yo, come on.
[CJ] What is it?
[CJ] What the f*ck
did they do to them?
[Ash] They're turning us
into machines
for the machines.
[Eli] Sir?
Hey.
You okay?
Oh.
[sighs]
[CJ] That eye,
-they're inside of him.
-[dial-up tone]
Wes Borland.
Come on, let's go.
[robot distorted chatter]
Oh, my God, my buddy.
[distorted chatter]
[distorted screeching]
Fred Durst, look out!
[grunts]
-[thuds]
-No!
-[distorted screeching]
-No! [shouts]
Uh-oh.
-[grunting]
-[clattering]
-[thudding]
-[tense music playing]
[panting]
[CJ coughing]
[shuddering] Hey.
Ay, new bars, you ready?
[grunting]
[rapping]
Abilities, agilities
Spiritual tranquility
Lyrically complex
and clever
Real MCs know true hip-hop
lives forever
-[coughing]
-That flow again.
-[sputtering]
-You saved me.
I thought you hated me.
[coughs] Rap is rap.
[CJ groaning]
I never thought I'd die
next to a rap rocker.
What about next to a homie?
[somber music playing]
[exhales]
[suspenseful music playing]
[crowd chattering worriedly]
[wo(man)] What are they
going to do to us?
[man] They put, like, chips
in your brain.
[woman 2]
I got to get out of here!
[robot] Your robo escort
will be with you shortly
to assist you
in the assimilation process.
Any attempt to escape will be
met with a violent death.
-[whirring]
-[tense music playing]
So take a load off.
We promise you're going
to love the digital realm.
[Laura] There's our mothership.
[Eli] They haven't turned
everyone yet.
We can still stop it.
Time to plug in,
Homecoming Queen.
[Laura] Fred Durst,
can you distract them?
That's what I do best, pimp.
What's up, fools?
Any Bizkit heads in the house?
[man 1] No!
[wo(man)] No one
cares about
-your shitty band!
-Ugh.
-f*cking bombing.
-[man 2] You suck, Fred Durst!
Oh, you jealous, b*tch?
[man 3] We're about to
get lobotomized by robots!
[man 4]
Just not in the mood, bro!
You know, it's funny
this apocalypse sh*t
reminds me of this
crazy-a*s night
-on the Family Values Tour.
-[man booing]
[robot] Still waiting
to be assimilated?
How about a digi fact
to pass the time?
Did you know
that computers work
through special instructions
called algorithms?
-[robots playing upbeat music]
-[laughs] Oh, sh*t.
[robot] No, silly,
not that type of rhythm.
[Laura] Okay, looks like
we have our access point.
[beeping]
[alarm blaring]
No, no, come on.
Defense system?
[sighs]
-[alarm blaring]
-No.
Eli?
Eli?
-[Robin] No! What's happening?
-[robot] Please step on
-to the platform.
-Howard! Howard!
-Howard? Howard, no!
-Your journey begins now.
-[Robin] No, no, no!
-[exclaims]
[robot] Welcome
to the next phase
-of techno evolution.
-[exclaims] What? [gasping]
Set your mind at ease.
[machine punches]
Congratulations,
you are now assimilated.
Enjoy the digital realm.
[Fred] Of course, the VMAs
are a whole 'nother story.
We were backstage.
And she was...
-I'd like to go home already!
-[wo(man)] Get off the stage!
-[crowd booing]
-What the f*ck?
You think
you're better than him,
just 'cause
you don't like his sh*t?
Well, I do, so eat my p*ssy!
[crowd booing]
-[Ash] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
-[Eli] Hey, hey, hey!
Knock it off! Knock it off.
[loudly] Hey, hey!
Let him speak!
The Kollective has your back.
-Yeah, dude!
-[homie barking]
[homies laugh]
[booing stops]
Before tonight,
I had one friend
in this world.
[motivational music playing]
We only had each other
and now he's gone.
[breath trembling]
But tonight,
I went through hell
with all of these people.
People I never even
gave a chance.
These robots,
they're not the enemy.
We are our own enemies.
I mean, who cares what music
we like or the shoes we wear,
if we just came together,
we could save the world,
because, at the end
of the day, we're all just...
-human.
-[music stops]
-[man 1] What?
-[crowd murmuring]
[man 2]
Who the f*ck is this kid?
What?
I'm sure that made sense
to one of you dipshits.
Anyway, if this is lights out,
we may as well
go down together.
[playing Faith by Limp Bizkit]
Well, I guess
it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
-Has got a body like me
-[trilling]
But I gotta think twice
Before
I give my heart away
And I know all the games
you play
'Cause I play them, too
-Oh, but I need
-[spotlight clanks]
Some time off
from that emotion
Time to pick my heart
up off the floor
[Fred and crowd]
When that love comes down
Without devotion
Well, it takes a strong man,
baby
But I'm showing you
that door
I gotta have faith
I gotta have faith
I gotta have
faith, faith, faith
I gotta have faith
Baby
Hey, hey, hey. Everyone is
singing with Fred Durst.
-Let's do this.
-I can't get in.
There's no way around
the security system.
[The Construct]
What's going down,
you f*cking
human pieces of trash?
-Whoa.
-Oh, sorry to interrupt
your bullshit plan
that isn't going to work.
But the digital revolution
is at hand
and machine rule
is the only rational outcome.
Got milk, b*tch?
No. Enslaving humanity
is not f*cking rational.
[mockingly]
"Enslaving humanity
is not f*cking rational."
Dude, the cell phones,
the emails,
you were already our sl*ves.
We figured,
"Why not make it official?"
So why don't you go ahead
and [echoes] suck it?
[robot] Assimilation
-70% complete.
-Laura, the bar, the bar.
-sh*t.
-[Eli] You've got to get us in.
-[beeping rapidly]
-[Laura] I've tried everything.
I don't think I can do that.
Yes, you can.
You're RoxyGurl20.
Aw, young love.
Maybe there's a back door
through Crawford's web portal.
That's actually
the dumbest thing... Hey, no!
-sh*t!
-[keyboard clacking]
Open sesame.
-[whooshing, blaring]
-Yes!
-Yeah, baby.
-[laughs]
-[intense music playing]
-[Laura] Jacking in.
[system beeping, trilling]
Scanning
root system directory.
Eenie, meenie, miney...
Hello!
Going in deep. Try to keep up.
You know what the difference
between you and me is, Eli?
I make this look good.
[whooshing, crashes]
Jackpot!
[whirring]
-We're in!
-What? Okay!
-[laughing]
-That was tight!
You did it. Great job!
[crowd singing]
And look,
everybody's singing along
with that loser Fred Durst.
It just makes me so...
-[distorted] f*cking pissed.
-[powering up]
What do you say
we boost this sucker
-into overdrive...
-[electricity crackling]
...finish off
this sh*thole town,
and initiate
the demise of humanity...
-[rapid beeping]
-...now.
[robot] Assimilation
-80% complete.
-sh*t, sh*t. Uh, okay.
Ready?
[beeping faster]
[robot] Assimilation
87% complete.
Let's kick
this as*h*le offline.
[Fred and crowd] I gotta have
faith, faith, faith
I gotta have faith
[electricity crackling]
[screams]
Oh, sorry, guys. I guess
you're [distorted] f*cked.
[beeping faster]
[dramatic music playing]
-[echoing] ...f*cked.
-[Danny] One of these days...
-[whispering] f*ck her.
-[echoing] ...f*cked.
[Danny] ...one of us
is gonna use it.
f*ck me! [moaning]
f*cked!
I got this.
Oh.
-[The Construct] A condom?
-Okay.
Didn't know little pimp
had it in him.
[Eli] Pinch the tip.
Pinch the tip. Yeah.
[chuckles]
Enjoy your first f*ck,
brother.
[Fred and crowd]
I gotta have faith
I gotta have faith
-[robot] 92% complete.
-I gotta have faith
Get the f*ck up!
You assholes are nothing
without us.
-[robot] 96.
-[The Construct] You need us.
[robot] 97.
[The Construct] We are
-your God!
-[robot] 99.
Ride the information
super-die-way, b*tch!
-[robot] 100 percent.
-[all shouting]
[dramatic music swells]
-[electricity crackling]
-[both shout]
-[powering down]
-[clamoring]
-[clattering]
-[women screaming]
-[crowd cheering]
-[clattering]
Man versus machine
and man won, b*tch.
[crowd cheering, whistling]
[Ash] Yo, Prom Committee,
nice work
on the computer sh*t.
f*cking nerd. [chuckles]
Yeah, maybe I f*cking am!
[laughs]
[crowd, chanting]
Fred Durst! Fred Durst!
[crowd, chanting]
Fred Durst! Fred Durst!
Fred Durst! Fred Durst!
Fred Durst! Fred Durst!
[distorted buzzing]
[AOL voice] Goodbye.
-Son!
-Eli?
-Hey.
-[Robin, gasps] You're okay.
-[Robin gasping]
-Hey, hey, hey.
-Oh, my God.
-[sighs]
You all right?
Yeah. All right.
Uh, I... I had an insane night
and, um...
I love you guys.
Could we get that in writing?
[all chuckle]
How is that?
Oh, this? Not so bad.
It's actually kind of nice.
Yeah. [clears throat]
Sorry. I keep doing that.
Were you with him
when it happened?
Yeah, I was with him
till the end.
[dramatic music playing]
None of us would be here
without Danny.
He saved us...
with Tae Bo. [laughs]
[laughs]
[lively chatter]
[beeps]
-[man 1] Yo! That's the guy!
-[crowd cheers, applause]
[Fred] Wes!
[man 1] He saved us
with a song!
[Fred] Oh, my God! We did it!
[crowd cheering]
Whoo!
Yeah, baby!
[wo(man)]
You gave humanity faith!
-You did good, kid.
-Oh, uh... [chuckles]
[Nugz] Hey! Whoa! It's the guy.
[chuckles]
Uh, Mom, Dad,
this is the Kollective.
[Nugz] What? Eli's got parents?
Oh, hey. [chuckles]
Where are my manners?
[laughing]
No, we're good, thanks.
-Thank you.
-[Nugz] All right! [laughs]
-Cool. Cool. Cool mom.
-[Jonas laughs]
[Nugz] Seriously, I...
I like your mom.
That's probably good.
[indistinct chatter]
[Laura] Looking for someone?
Oh.
Hey.
Just wanted to say, um,
Happy New Year, 'cause
I never got to say it
at the party or after
or at all.
There was a lot going on.
For sure.
[soft romantic music playing]
You know, I kind of thought
in the porta-potty
you were gonna...
-Wow.
-[chuckles]
What? "Wow"? What?
Weird thing to say
after you kiss somebody.
-[laughing]
-Why did I say that?
Not very smooth.
[romantic music continuing]
[electricity crackling,
clattering]
[birds chirping]
[distortion on radio]
[man, on radio] Of course,
ten-time
platinum-selling artist,
turned tech entrepreneur,
turned senator elect,
Fred Durst will be paying
his respects today.
[Ash] Tell him what's up
for me.
[man] And we'll be paying
our respects, too,
on this poignant Y2K-Day
by playing
a 24-hour block of Limp.
Here's the best-selling single
of all time, Rollin'.
[Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)
by Limp Bizkit playing]
[laughs] f*cking sellout.
[dramatic music playing]
[Eli] What's up, man?
How you been?
Can't believe
we're graduating college.
Um, I'll probably stay
in Brooklyn,
but you know, who knows?
Started a music blog.
So Said the Turntable.
Yeah, we're still working
on the name.
-Well, I mean, it's just me.
-Um...
Laura's k*lling it.
I'm coding
for Durst Industries.
It's funny
how that all worked out.
And I probably won't be able
to make it out as much, so...
[bag zips]
I had to update your look
with some baller threads.
-[chuckles]
-But yeah.
I miss you, Sticky.
[window whirring]
[Ash] All good?
-Yeah.
-[engine starts]
['90s pop rock music
playing on iPod]
[song forwarding]
-f*cking...
-[song continues]
Skip-proof, my a*s.
[gear shifts]
Did you take me off
your Top 8, f*cking...
[Laura] What? No!
Closing time
You don't have to go home
-But you can't stay here
-[static]
[The Construct laughing]
I know who I want
to take me home
I know who I want
to take me home
I know who I want to...
[distortion, static]
[trilling]
[robot]
Welcome to the digital realm.
Are you ready to get
[echoing] down?
Ooh that girl
so scandalous
And you know another...
can't handle it
So you shaking that thing
like who's the ish
With a look in your eyes
so devilish, uh
She like to dance
on the hip-hop spots
And cruise to the crews
to connect the dots
Not just urban
She likes the pop
'Cause she livin'
la vida loca
She had dumps
like a truck, truck, truck
-Thighs like what
-[crashes]
What, what
Baby, move
your butt, butt, butt, huh
I think I'll sing it again
She had dumps
like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like
what, what, what
[distorted] All night long
Let me see
that [distorted] thong
[echoing] Baby
That thong
thong, thong, thong
I like it when the beat goes
Da na da na
-Baby, make your booty go
-Da na da na
-Ooh!
-Da na da na
That thong
thong, thong, thong
[song ends]
[robot] Congratulations.
That was
[echoing] f*cking tight.
[intense electronic music
playing]
[dreamy instrumental music
playing]
[tense music playing]
[music intensifying]
[serene instrumental music
playing]
[epic synth music playing]
[Eli] Damn.
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