01x18 - Kicking and Scheming

[bunniefuu]

- ♪

- [whistle shrills]

- Good! Good!
Now three more like that!

- LUIS: [retching]

- Oh? You okay, Luis?
- I'm gonna puke!

[vomiting]
- Ugh.

We're running out of
players, Coach.

- Luis is the fourth Bulldog
to get sick on the field.

What is goin' on?

- Today was "Sushi Monday"
in the cafeteria.

- That doesn't sound too bad.

- They made it last Friday.

- Yeah, that spicy tuna
burned on the way down.

- And on the way up!

[vomiting]
- Oooh.

- All right, we need somebody
to replace the barf brothers.

So, who's it gonna be?

- NEWT: Put me in, Coach.
I'm ready.

Oh!

My leg fell asleep from sitting
on the bench so long.

But I'll...I'll be okay.

I'll just...

crawl it out.

- That's okay, kid,
let it sleep.

All right, let's call it.

I'll see you guys
at practice tomorrow.

And from now on, pack a lunch!

- There's my boy!

- Oh, uh, hey, Dad.

I was just...lying on
the ground 'cause

I just laid a big hit on...

- RICKY & LUIS: [groaning]
- ...those guys.

- Atta boy, Newt.
You're a real Vanderault.

Get your guard up!
- NEWT: [laughing]

- DAD: [laughing]
- Yeah, totally.

Pow! Pow! Pow!
- DAD: Oh!

- Nice fight move, Newt.

- Dad, this is our
quarterback, Bella.

- I've heard a lot about you.

- I've heard about you, too.

Weren't you the All-American
in three sports at Harvard?

- That was a long time ago--
and it was Yale.

But it sounds like Newt

is really starting
to take after me.

I can't wait to see him
in action on Friday.

- You're coming to the game?

Usually you have a meeting
on Friday nights.

- Well, the season's
coming to a close.

I don't want to miss
the chance to see you play.

- Are you sure you wanna
miss the meeting--

'cause I don't want you
to lose your job.

- I own the company, Newt.
- [cell phone ringing]

- Oh, excuse me.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I've gotta take that.

It's the Vice-President.
- Of your company?

- [laughing] No.

Hey, Joe, how's Mary?

- [silently] Wow.

Your dad's finally
coming to a game.

That's great!
- No, it's not.

He can't see me sit
on the bench.

He thinks I actually
play in these games.

He'll be so disappointed.

I need to come down
with a serious illness.

I'm gonna go see
if the cafeteria

has any more spicy tuna.

- ♪

- ♪ You won't find
me in the bleachers ♪

- ♪ Yeah that girl
is one of us ♪

- ♪ I'm made of spice
and sugar ♪

- ♪ She's pretty...
she's pretty tough ♪

- ♪ Then add
a little glitter ♪

- ♪ She off in
a cloud of dust ♪

- ♪ And you get...
you get... ♪

- ♪ A game changer,
play maker ♪

♪ Take the ball,
she'll see ya later ♪

- ♪ I'm on a dreamlike,
teamlike ♪

♪ Livin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ Play like Friday night

♪ Kickin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ One of the boys

- Newt! Put down
that stinky fish!

- A violent illness
is my only hope.

My dad was an All-American
at every sport.

But I can't seem
to get in the game.

My dad's gonna be so
disappointed in me.

- Maybe I can talk to Coach

about getting you
some playing time.

- That'd be great.
Coach listens to you.

You're the best player
on the team.

- Aw, thanks.
- And the prettiest,

and the smartest,
and the best--

- Newt, I already
agreed to do it.

- Oh, good.

Well, just in case,

I'm gonna keep this sushi
in a warm, humid place.

Sawyer's locker is perfect.

He'll never notice
the smell.

Wait, there's already
sushi in here.

That's not sushi!

I don't know what that is!

Ew, it's moving!

- ♪

- Can I eat, already?
- Not yet.

I need the perfect photo

for the Click Pics Food
Photo Competition.

- So, what do you get,
if you win?

- Click Pics tags you in
their weekly roundup.

- So, what do you get,
if you win?

- Two chocolate sundaes
coming right up.

- Rock, paper, scissors.

Loser pays?
- Okay.

- BOTH: Rock, paper,
scissors, sh**t!

- Ha, you lose.
Paper covers rock.

- Oh, that's not rock--
it's fist.

- You know what?
I got this.

Oooh, and that!

Hey, you see
anything you like?

- I got my eye on something.

- Oh, well, I guarantee you'll
be happy with your choice.

I'm Troy.
- I'm Mia.

- Mia. What a lovely name.
- SOPHIE: Hey!

I can see our ice
cream melting from here.

- Some people are so rude.

To be continued.

Sophie, you k*lled my game.

I was about to get a date
with that girl.

- PEPPER & SOPHIE:
[laughing]

- What's so funny?

- Sorry, Troy, but that girl
is way out of your league.

- Uh, yeah, she's in
high school.

She's way too old for you.

- TROY & SAWYER:
[laughing]

- Please. Troy can get
a date with any girl--

even a high school hottie.
- You know it.

Age ain't nothing
but a number, man.

I just gotta wait a beat.
Make her miss me.

Is she lookin' at me?

- Uh, she's ordering
her ice cream.

- Is she looking at me now?

- Now she's paying
for her ice cream.

- TROY: What about now?

- Now she's leaving
with her ice cream.

- How about--
- PEPPER & SOPHIE: She's gone!

- ♪

- [knock at door]

- Coach, can I talk to
you about Newt?

I think he deserves
some playing time.

- Absolutely.
- Great!

How about in this week's game?
- Absolutely not.

- Coach, I know Newt doesn't
always make much of

an impact on the field,

but he brings a lot
of other things.

You know--intangibles.

- So, what are
these intangibles?

- Uh...

Good vibes. Great hair.

k*ller guacamole.

- Personally, I think
he uses too much cilantro.

- But, Coach, Newt's dad
is finally coming to a game

and Newt really
wants to impress him.

- Uh, I...I get it, Bella.
Newt's a great kid.

He's got tons of heart.

But put yourself
in my shoes.

Would you risk
our whole season

so one player could
impress their father?

- Well...
- Before you answer that...

- Help! I'm stuck again!

- Hold still! Hold still!

- You're on your own.

- Seriously, is there
a position on the field

that you would trust Newt in?

- I guess you're right, Coach.

I really want him to play,
but we can't risk our season.

- Well, I'm glad we agree.

Now can you please go help Newt
squeeze out of his pads.

- I'll get the coconut oil.

- ♪

- [sighing]
Troy, can we leave?

I don't think Mia's
going to show.

- Yes, she is, and I'm
gonna prove to you

that there is no girl
that's out of my league.

- Okay, you've been here
for three hours,

you've tried every flavor,
what's it gonna be?

- I'm actually pretty full
from all these free samples.

- But I'll take a water.
- Oh.

- SOPHIE: Oh, I'll be
over at that table.

When you crash
and burn with Mia,

I'll bring you ice cream
to cheer you up.

- TROY: [clearing throat]
Hey, there.

- Hello.
- It's good to see you again.

- Yeah, yesterday
you walked away

without asking what I wanted.

- Oh, well, I'm here now.
What can I get you?

A scoop of The Troy with
a side of these dimples?

- Or how about a strawberry
vanilla sundae?

And make that to go, please.

- To go?

- Yeah, you work here, right?

- No.

- Then why were you wearing
a yellow polo yesterday

and asking to take my order?

- Wait, you thought I was...

because I was wearing...

Those shirts are yellow.
Mine was saffron.

- Oh, so, you thought we were...

[laughing]

Aw, that's so cute.

- Again. Saffron.

- I'm sorry. I guess I should
have known you weren't a server.

You're way too young
to have a job.

What are you--in seventh grade?

- Eighth and one
semester, so, ha!

Seventh grade--
[thuds into door]

- [door thudding]

- ♪

- Oh, Bella. Bella.

Bella.
- Oh, hey.

Sorry, I was...

listening to music
and I couldn't hear you.

- You're not wearing
headphones.

- Yeah, um...

the music was in ma head!
[laughing]

- You, too? I also
have an internal soundtrack.

It's gangsta rap
sung by cats.

- Oh, cool!
[laughing]

Gotta go.

- Oh, how'd your big
talk go with Coach?

- Ah, yes, uh...

the big talk.

Look, Newt, I...I fought
hard for you.

I just couldn't convince
him to give you a shot.

- Darn. I was really hoping
you could change his mind.

- Sorry, Newt. I tried.

- Oh, I appreciate
you trying, Bella.

You're a good friend. Thanks.

- No problem!

- You're always there
for me when I need it.

- So, not a big deal.

- It is. Seriously.
You're the best.

- Hey, Newt.

Uh, listen, I know you
really wanted to

play in this week's game,
but after a lot of thought,

we agreed the timing
just isn't right.

Maybe next year.

- "We"? Who is "we"?

I bet it's Assistant
Coach Sanders.

- Newt--

- And I've been so nice
to him, too.

I even sent him a fruit on
a stick basket for his birthday.

I'm gonna give him
a piece of my mind.

- Newt, wait.
It wasn't Coach Sanders.

It was me.
- You?

You know how much
this means to me.

My dad's coming to the game.

- I know, Newt, but put
yourself in our shoes.

There's so much
riding on this game.

We had to do what's
best for the team.

- Best for the team?

The guys said the same thing

when you tried out
for quarterback.

And do you know what I did?
I stood up for you.

Why can't you stand
up for me?

- Newt, wait.
- I can't hear you.

[rapping]
♪ Meow meow meow meow meow

♪ Meow meow meow meow

- ♪

- ♪

- Don't eat those nachos!

- Sorry, mama, but my stomach
comes before your contest.

- Oh, there's gotta
be someone in here

with an appreciation
for fine food photography.

Hey, you, don't touch
those jalapeño poppers!

- Oh, I feel terrible
about Newt.

He was so devastated.

I need to talk to him.

- Have you tried calling?
- Of course.

And I've texted him like


- You're so lucky.

I wish I could get Newt
to avoid me like that.

- That's it!

Sophie, I need you to text him
and tell him to come here.

Please? I'll do anything.

- Hm...Okay.

One of my chores this week
is to do my brothers' laundry.

That's 27 pairs of
dirty undies to wash.

- You have nine brothers.

Shouldn't they change
their underwear

more than three times a week?

- Yes, they should.

They really should.

- I'm gonna regret this,
but I'll do it.

- Great.
[laughing]

Use extra bleach.
- [silently] All right.

- And send!
- I hope he shows up.

- Coming, Sophie!

Oh, sorry it took
me so long.

Bella.

- Newt, I am so, so sorry.

I didn't try hard enough to find
you a starting spot on the team.

But I'm gonna make
it my number one goal

to get you on the field
in front of your dad.

Please believe me.

- I don't know, Bella.

You told me before
you'd get me playing time.

- Yeah, but when I asked Coach,

I didn't have a position
for you to play.

We're gonna go out there right
now and find one for you.

- Well, I guess since
my dad is coming,

I could give it another shot.

- Great.
[laughing]

- Wait, Newt, how did
you get here so fast?

- Oh, I was in the arcade trying
to win you the giant teddy bear.

I did my best.

- Thanks.

- ♪

- Oh, so now you're here to
make fun of my jump shot, too?

- No, but maybe you
should stick to football.

Look, I'm sorry about Mia.

I didn't realize how
much you liked that girl.

So, I came here to help you.

- [sighing]
No, you were right, Sophie.

She's way out of my league.

- No, she's not.
You're The Troy.

No one's outta your league--

except me...
or Bella...

and Pepper or--

You know what I'm saying.

- Look, I appreciate what
you're trying to do,

but it's hopeless.

- No, it's not.

You just need to find
a different approach.

Look, Mia is in high school.

Older girls like to have
meaningful conversations.

Find out her interests.

Don't just flirt and brag
about your dimples.

- Who wouldn't brag
about these dimples?

- Troy.
- Okay, you're right.

I'll start researching.
- Right.

Check her chitchat
on Click Pics pages.

- Good thinking.

And maybe I'll just
mention my dimples?

- I meant something
a little deeper.

- Deeper than these?

Do you know how many
girls would k*ll

to splash around in
these love puddles?

Come on.
- [laughing]

Don't say that to Mia.

- ♪

- Okay, Newt,
we're not quitting

until we find you
a starting position.

We've got three spots where
the team could use some help.

The first is punt returner.

- ♪

- Come on, Newt!

- ♪

- NEWT: I got it!

I got it. I got it.

- ♪

- Uh, okay, how about
running back?

Set! Hut!

- ♪

- [grunting]

- ♪

- Nice effort.

But, uh, maybe we should
try something

where you don't have
to touch the ball at all.

Defense! Ah.

- ♪

- Did I tackle you?

- ♪

- Hey, look, there's
that girl Mia.

- Troy'd better get here soon.

- All right, go ahead,
take a picture.

- Oh, no, you can eat.
- Oh.

- Bad news. I didn't
win the contest.

- [mouth full of food]
Oh, I'm sorry. That is terrible.

- But... [laughing]
there's a new contest.

Pics of Cute Boys Eating.
- [cell phone camera clicking]

- No, no more pictures. Stop.

Whoa, I look good in this.

Take another one.
- [cell phone camera clicking]

- Now do a photo burst.
- [camera clicking rapidly]

- Come on, Troy,
where are you?

Troy?

What are you doing?
You don't play tennis.

- Yeah, but Mia does.

- This is never gonna work.
- Shhh! Shhh! Shhh!

I got this.

Hey, again.
- Hey.

- Yeah, I just finished
a day on the old tennis court.

- You play tennis?

Me, too. I'm on
the high school team.

- Oh, yeah.
We should play some time.

The final score would
be love-love.

- So no one would score a point?

- Uh, what I was
trying to say was...

you see, it was
a metaphor for...

Hey, have you read this book?
- "Vampire Mysteries"?

I've read every book
in the series.

- Yeah, me, too.

I'm just rereading this one
'cause there's some parts

that really spoke to me.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Which ones?
- Um...

You know, the...the part
with the vampire and the...

mysteries.

- Oh, right.

My favorite part is when
the vampire and the zombie

got married and had
baby vombies.

- Yeah, I did not see
that twist coming.

- Yeah, that's because
it didn't happen.

Troy, what's going on?

- [sighing]
I'm sorry, all right?

I don't play tennis and I've
never read those books.

The truth is I think
you're really awesome.

So, I looked up some of
your interests online

'cause I know that older girls

like to have meaningful
conversations.

And I wanted you to like me.

- [tsk'ing]
Troy...

I appreciate your honesty.

So, I'll be honest with you.

You're cute.
You're just way too young.

But maybe look me up
in a few years.

- Sorry, Troy.
Looks like it didn't go well.

- Actually, it did.

I got a date with her!

- Really? When?

- In a few years!
[laughing]

So that's a win.

- Troy, are you sure
she wasn't trying to...

let you down easy?
- I'm sure.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I've gotta take
some tennis lessons

and get Newt to read
the "Vampire Mysteries" for me.

[thuds into door]

- [door thudding]

- That would be really
embarrassing

if I didn't have a date.

- ♪

- The good news is now
we know the positions

you're not good at.

- Face it, Bella,
I'm terrible.

- Don't say that.

- The only thing I'm good at
is sitting on the bench.

Ow!

And I mess that up, too.

You were right.
Coach was right.

Everyone was right.

I'm never gonna play tomorrow.

My dad's gonna be
so disappointed.

- Hey, Bella, when
you're warmed up,

I need you to hold for Kenny

so he can practice
his field goal kicks.

- Wait a minute!

There's still one position
we haven't tried--

mine.

- Are you crazy?
I can't play quarterback.

- Quarterback?
No, no, no, no, no.

Field goal holder.

I didn't think of it before

because it's not really
much of a position.

But if you're okay with it?
- Okay with it?

I'm only on the field
a couple of times a game

and I won't get hit?

I was born for this!
- BELLA: [laughing]

- Oh, forgot my helmet.

- [whistle shrills]

- ♪

- [whistle shrills]
- COACH: Yeah!

[laughing]
Not bad!

- You saw it, Coach.
He's a great holder.

- He does have
pretty soft hands.

- I moisturize.

- ♪

- SPECTATORS: [cheering]

- ANNOUNCER: And the field
goal is good

as we head toward
the end of the second quarter.

- Nice hold, Newt.
Just keep it up.

- ♪

- COACH: All right,
we're down by three.

And we only have time
for one more play.

A touchdown would win it,
but it's too risky.

We're gonna kick the field goal
and win it in overtime.

All right? Kickin' team,
get out there!

Come on! Bring it in!
Bring it in!

And ready?

- BULLDOGS: Break!

- COACH: Come on, go!
- BELLA: Go, guys!

- [whistle shrills]

- SPECTATORS: [hooting,
cheering]

- ♪

- Ricky blew the snap.

- COACHES & BELLA: Run!

- BELLA: Run!

- ♪

- [whistle shrills]

- BULLDOGS & FANS:
[cheering, hooting]

- [school band music]

- Yeah!

- You did it, dude!
- My man!

- You really messed
up that snap.

You're lucky
he bailed you out.

- I may have owned the snap,
but I created a legend.

- FANS: [cheering]

- I wouldn't have done
it without Bella.

- No, Newt, you scored!
You did it!

- But I'd never be on
the field without you.

- NEWT'S DAD: Newt!

- Did you see me, Dad?
- That's my boy.

- I just wanna make
you proud, Dad.

- Newt, you're my son.

It doesn't matter if you score
the winning touchdown

or sit on the bench,
I am always proud of you.

- Really?

'Cause I think
I prefer the bench.

That spin move made
me a little dizzy.

- You can never
disappoint me, son.

Unless you go to Harvard.

- Oh, that dump?
Not a chance.

- ♪

- ♪

- [reading]
"Chapter 5."

"Cassandra could not believe
how alive she felt,"

"especially because
she was...undead."

Oh, really?

When is Newt getting here?

- Look, he'll be here
in half an hour.

He didn't wanna bring his
signed copy of Book 2,

so he's out buying a new one.

- Troy, why are we doing
this all at once?

You have plenty of time.

- Look, I'm just trying to move
up the timetable, all right?

Mia said to look her up
in a few years,

but I think I can get
there in four months.

Now keep reading.

- [sighing]

"Chapter...12."

- No, no, no.

- Oh!

"Ever since she felt the searing
pain of Colin's bite,"

"she was filled with
a newfound power--"

"the ability to fly
and solve mysteries."

- Mysteries? I did not
see that coming.

- It's the title!

- ♪