02x01 - Wide Deceiver

[bunniefuu]

- ♪

- Oh, hey, Coach.
- Hey.

- Check it out. Boom!
- COACH: [laughing]

- 'Cause this ain't
just a BBQ.

It's a QB BBQ.
- COACH: [laughing]

- See? Quarterback barbecue.

Get it?
- Yeah, I get it.

- [laughing]
Kinda wish I could un-get it.

- I am so excited
to see my friends

after I've been away
all summer.

It feels like
it's been forever.

- Dawson, it's only
been two months.

- Bella! I haven't
see you in forever!

- Sophie!
- SOPHIE: Eeeee!

- BOTH: Oh!

- Oh, my gosh,
I've missed you.

How was your summer?

- Actually, I spent most of it
in summer school with Sawyer.

It wasn't that bad because--
- BELLA: Troy!

- Hey, QB.

Oh! [groaning]
I missed the old Bella hugs.

And the bruised ribs
that come with them.

- How was your
grandparents' house?

- It was great.
Grams loves her Troy-Troy.

Anyway, look, there's something
I need to talk to you about.

- Pepper and Sawyer!

- PEPPER: Suck in air.
It'll protect your ribs.

- Oh, Sawyer's in the house.
- PEPPER & SAWYER: [laughing]

- I cannot wait to hear
all about your summer.

- Okay, first of all,
I spent--

- Ooh, group selfie.
Don't move.

I'll get my phone!

- Well, we may have been
apart this summer,

but it's good to see
nothing's changed.

What happened to you?

- [self-conscious laugh]
Hey, guys.

And before you say anything--

on my family's annual
sailing trip

I, uh, got a little color.

- I didn't know
"crispy" was a color.

- Yeah, so go easy on me.

My sunburn's still
pretty tender.

The slightest touch hurts
like you wouldn't believe.

- Newt!
- NEWT: [gasping]

[screaming]

- Oh, I know.
I missed you, too.

- ♪

- ♪ You won't find
me in the bleachers ♪

- ♪ Yeah that girl
is one of us ♪

- ♪ I'm made of spice
and sugar ♪

- ♪ She's pretty...
she's pretty tough ♪

- ♪ Then add
a little glitter ♪

- ♪ She off in
a cloud of dust ♪

- ♪ And you get...
you get... ♪

- ♪ A game changer,
play maker ♪

♪ Take the ball,
she'll see ya later ♪

- ♪ I'm on a dreamlike,
teamlike ♪

♪ Livin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ Play like Friday night

♪ Kickin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ One of the boys

- ♪

- Wow, film camp
sounds amazing.

- Yeah, I learned
so much.

Like if your movie's
not working,

you can fix it
by adding an expl*si*n,

or a fart sound
or even better--

an exploding fart sound.

- Film camp sounds a lot
like my house.

So, Bella, how was
football camp?

- Oh, it was cool--
I learned some new skills,

met some new friends
and, what was the other thing?

Oh, yeah, I'm going
to meet Kurt Warner!

- Oh, wow, that's amazing!
- That is amazing.

Who's Bert Warner?

- Kurt Warner's
a two-time MVP

and Super Bowl-winning
quarterback.

- And even more amazing--

people underestimated
him and said that

he would never play
quarterback for the NFL--

kind of like how people
underestimated me

and said that I would
never play quarterback--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we get it.

So, how did this happen?

- I won the QB award at camp

and the prize was
two tickets to meet him

during his show
at the NFL Network.

- Oooh, he's on TV?
Now that I get.

- My mom is going to drop me off
while she goes to the outlets.

My only problem is who do
I give the other ticket to?

- I think you have
some options.

- ALL: [clamoring]
Take me! Take me!

- I'll make you Quiche Lorraine!
- I'll trade you my kidney!

- I'll trade you
Ricky's kidney!

- Okay! Okay! Okay!

Y'all can just relax
and enjoy the party.

I've already decided who I'm
giving the ticket to.

- ALL: Aww...

- You have no idea who you're
giving the ticket to.

- Not a clue.

- Well, perhaps you should
choose the person

who's dedicated the most
time and energy to the team.

- That could work.
- [silently] Yes!

- I'll hold a team practice.

Whoever shows
the most dedication

by staying in
the best shape over summer,

wins the ticket.

- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
You could do that.

Or, uh, you could give it
to someone that you admire--

say, an older mentor figure.

- No, I'm good.
Thank you, though.

- [chuckling]

- Hey, Huggins,
check out what I've got.

- Oh! You thinkin'
what I'm thinkin'?

- BOTH: Little smokies
challenge!

- Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Um, what is happening
right now?

- And more importantly--why?

- In summer school, Sawyer kept
himself entertained

by doing the grossest
dares possible.

- [mumbling -- mouth
full of food]

- At first, I just enjoyed
watching him suffer.

But then when he dared me,
I could not back down.

- Done! Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Huh?

- Oh, can you believe
he just said that?

- Oh, it's on.
- Uh-huh.

- Well...
[laughing]

I guess those two found
a new...thing?

- That's...interesting.

- [huge belch]

- And gross.

- ♪

- All right, guys!

Our first game is against
Wentworth Academy--

the top team in the state.

But I'm sure you've all
been staying in shape

and eating healthy.

- Trans fats, bro.

- Okay, so let's get out
there and make it count!

- ALL: Hoorah!
- BELLA: Go!

- NEWT: Ow! Ow!

Sunburn! Ow! Ow! Sunburn!

Ow! Sunburn! Ow!

Ow! Need lotion!

- Newt, what are you doing?

- No, just go. Just go.

Leave me. Leave me.

Please don't
touch me. Ah! Ah!

- BELLA: Come on, guys!

- ♪

- Oh!

- ALL: [groaning]
- Come on.

- ♪

- ALL [groaning]
- BELLA: This is pathetic.

I can't believe no one
stayed in shape all summer.

Quiet Chris, stop whining.

[sighing]
Listen up, everyone.

The whole point of this
practice was to see

who was in the best shape and
deserved to meet Kurt Warner.

- [groaning]
I did not see that coming.

- But it turns out only one of
you put in any work this summer.

So, congratulations, Troy.

- Thanks, Bella,
but, look...

there's something you should
know about Wentworth.

- Oh, you don't have to
tell me about Wentworth.

That's gonna be one of our
toughest games of the year.

Y'all look terrible--
except for this guy.

Thanks. I knew I could
count on you.

- Yeah.
[sighing]

- Is everything cool?

- Sure. Yeah, I'm cool.
Thanks, Bella.

- Okay. See you tomorrow.
[sighing]

- BOTH: One, two,
three, chug!

- ALL: Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Ew! Ever since Sophie
and Sawyer

started this dare thing,
I barely see her anymore.

I miss my friend.
- Me, too.

Today, Sawyer and I were
supposed to go bike riding,

and without a second person,

a tandem bike is just
a two-wheeled cage of death.

- How are we gonna
hang out with them?

All they wanna do is
out-gross each other.

- ALL: Ohhhh...

- Hey, where are
you guys going?

- We're going outside to
see how many jumping jacks

it takes to yack up
what we just downed.

We call them jumpin' yacks.

- My record's one.

- I never make it
to the parking lot.

- Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't Newt and I join
you for the next dare?

- NEWT: Huh?
- Uh, I don't know.

Our next dare's not
for the faint-of-heart.

- Or stomach.
- Or nose.

- Uh, we can handle it.
Right, Newt?

- Huh?
- See? We're in.

- Great. See you guys later.

- Um, Pepper,
quick question--

huh?

- You're right.
We don't have to do it.

You can always just
ride that tandem bike

with your stepmom Brenda.
- Fine. I'm in.

She pedals too fast
for me anyway.

"You need
the exercise, Newt."

Not everyone lives at
the cardio barre, Brenda.

- We've got three and
a half hours to Dallas.

I've got a 64-ounce coffee,
a carpool pass, and a lead foot.

Let's hit it!

- BELLA: [laughing]
I'm so glad you're here, Troy.

I can't think of anyone I'd
rather be doing this with.

I mean, Nick Jonas,
but that's just--

- It goes without saying.
Yeah, I get it.

- [laughing]
Seriously, though.

You're the most dedicated
Bulldog I know.

We're gonna crush it
this season.

- Yeah, about this season--

- And that's why
I made you this.

It has all the new
plays I wanna try

in our first game
against Wentworth.

I thought we could
go over it together.

- Bella, look,
I can't read this.

- Don't worry, it's most
pictures and symbols.

- No, it's not that.

Look, I can't read those plays
because it would be cheating.

- Troy, what are you
talking about?

- Okay, look, I've been
trying to tell you this.

Remember how Wentworth tried
to recruit me last season?

- Yeah.
- Well... [sighing]

while I was at my grandparents'
they offered me a spot again.

And this time, they guaranteed
I'd be a starter.

So, I accepted.
I'm going to Wentworth.

- So, you're leaving
the Bulldogs?

- You could put it
like that.

- So, on a positive note,

we only have three hours
and 24 minutes to go.

[laughing]

Yay! Woo!

- You know what?

Billy-Bob's Blanket Barn
better have a straightjacket

'cause I am crazy for
a "buy one-get one" sale.

[laughing] Kids, are you
loco for bo-go, too?

- BELLA: [heavy sigh]

- Okay, then. Good talk.

- Bella, look, I can understand
if you're upset about this.

- Ah, why would I be upset
about a bo-go sale?

You buy one blanket
and get one free.

- You know I'm talking
about Wentworth.

- Troy, you don't
have to explain.

Wentworth has great teachers,

and their football
program produces

tons of NFL players.

A total no-brainer.

- Well, as long as
you're okay with it.

- Oh, yeah, super
okay with it.

[laughing]

- Wha...what's so funny?

- Oh, nothing.

[laughing]
Okay. Okay.

It's just...it's just
kinda hilarious

that I gave you
the extra ticket

because I thought you were
the most dedicated player.

But it turns out...
[laughing]

...you're the most dedicated
player for another team.

[laughing]
Okay, isn't that hilarious?

Mother, isn't that
so hilarious?

[laughing]

- I'm kind of scared
to answer right now, honey.

- Okay, Bella, it is obvious
you are not okay.

If we could just talk
about this, I think--

- [turns on loud music]
Wish I could.

But this is my favorite
jam and I always sing along!

- ♪ Yes, you and me
- ♪ Boy...me...

♪ Are meant...to be
'cause...something ♪

♪ I love...there's time
to something ♪

- ♪ Ooh ooh
- ♪ I love...ooh ooh

♪ Ooh ooh

- ♪ Ooh ooh
- ♪ Ooh ooh

♪ Ooh ooh!

- Welcome to the locker
room challenge.

- First up is bobbing
for apples.

- That doesn't sound so bad.

- In the bin of
eternally-moist towels.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

- Why are they
eternally-moist?

- No one knows.

- For this dare, you have
to climb into the bin

and find an apple--

with your mouth.

- What a creative twist.

So fun.

- Now no peeking while we shake
the apple to its moisty depths.

- [bin rumbling]

- Pepper, I can't do this.

I don't like being moist.
[gagging, coughing]

I don't even like saying
the word moist.

[gagging, coughing]

It makes me wanna hu--
[gagging, coughing]

- Newt, if we wanna hang
with our friends,

we have to handle
these dares.

You can do this.

- NEWT: [whimpering]

It gets moister
as you go down.

[holding breath]

- Newt? Newt?

You don't think he--

- [dramatic music]

- NEWT: [coughs]

- Dude, you did it!

- You found the apple.
- Yeah!

- Yes, but I lost
my innocence.

- ♪

- I bet no one can drink
more mouth guard tea than me.

- Hm, we'll see about that.

These are abuela's
corn-eating teeth.

- They're more
corn than teeth.

- [teeth plunk]

- Fancy a cuppa?

- PEPPER & NEWT:
[fake laughter]

- ♪

- To...friendship.

- [glasses tap]

- ♪

- [cups pound table]

- SAWYER: [laughing]

- PEPPER: [laughing]
- NEWT: Oh!

Oh! Oh!

- NEWT & PEPPER:
[shrieking]

- PEPPER: [muffled]
Get it out! Get it out!

- NEWT: [shrieking]
- PEPPER: [shrieking]

- NEWT: [gagging, coughing]

- PEPPER:
[gagging, shrieking]

- ♪

- Now in just a moment,
Kurt Warner will stop by

on his way to film
his TV show.

You guys are about to
meet a football legend.

Be right back.

- Cool jersey.
- Oh, thanks.

I play for Silverado West
and so did he

until he decided
to abandon his friends

and all that we worked
so hard to accomplish.

- Well, it sounds
like someone's ready

to talk about Wentworth.

- You're going to
Wentworth Academy?

That's the best
football school in Texas.

- Okay, none of your
business, please!

Thank you. Yeah.

- Look, I'm sorry this
is such a surprise, Bella.

I wanted to find a better
way to tell you.

I tried at the barbecue
and again at practice,

but the timing
never worked out.

Ow! Did you just pinch me?

- Sorry, I was
gonna warn you,

but the timing
never worked out.

- Uh, kids, is there
a problem here?

- Yeah, this guy.

He was just saying
he thinks Kurt Warner

is way over-rated.

- Ooh, you
quarterback-stabber.

- Okay, if you wanna stay,

I suggest you refrain
from trashing my hero.

- BELLA: [sighing]
- Bella, look, I...

Why are you so upset?

You supported me last year

when the Wentworth guy
tried to recruit me.

- I supported you
leaving because

I didn't think you would leave.
- That doesn't make any sense.

- Kids!
- BOTH: Mind your business!

- You don't make any sense.

- This goes all the way back to
when you first joined the team.

- ♪ La! La! La! La!
I can't hear you ♪

What are you even saying?

- Hey, hey, kids, kids.
What's the problem?

Ow!

- I pinched Kurt Warner.

- BOY: You hurt Kurt.

- Ooh, you're gonna
get thrown out.

What did I do?
She's the pincher.

Thank you for that.
See what you did? Mm-hm.

- Hand sanitizer?
- No, thanks.

It doesn't work on memories.

- Oh, at least we're hanging out
with our friends again.

- Yep, and we're
both miserable.

I haven't puked this much
since Brenda asked me

to write her wedding vows.
[gagging, coughing]

- Yeah, I could be downtown

at an awesome film
festival right now.

- Are you talking about

the Romanian Romantic
Comedy Convention?

Rom Rom Com Con?

- You like Rom Rom Com Con?

- I love Rom Rom Com Con.

"When Heinrich met Serenia."

That got me through
some dark times.

- [speaking non-English]
- [speaking non-English]

- BOTH: [laughing]
[sighing]

- NEWT: So cool.

- You know, maybe
we're overreacting.

We're always gonna be friends
with Sophie and Sawyer.

But we don't have to do
everything they do.

- Prepare for the moldy
leftover challenge.

- We don't have to
do what you do!

- Newt and I are gonna check
out the Rom Rom Com Con.

- Okay, cool.

Hey, do you wanna go
to the mall tomorrow?

- Totally.

- Hey, Sawyer,
tandem bike later?

- I told you we will
never tandem bike.

- Okay, well,
think about it.

- Rom Rom Com Con?

- Talk about gross.

- BOTH: [gagging, coughing]

- You've gotta smell this.

- Okay.
[laughing]

- BOTH: [gagging, coughing]

- I should be exchanging
Click Pix

with Kurt Warner right now.

- You only have
yourself to blame.

- Myself has you to blame.

You're the one
who pinched him.

- I thought I was pinching
the headset guy.

- Bella, why are you
pinching anybody?

- Well! You're still wrong.

And I bet Kurt Warner
agrees with me.

- Bella, wait!

- ♪

- Hey, Mr. Warner.

Sorry for the whole
pinching thing earlier.

My friend and I got
a little excited.

But I promise we've
totally calmed down.

- Oh, man, it's Kurt Warner!

I never thought I'd get
another chance to meet you.

Bella, it's Kurt!
Kurt, it's you!

Kurt Warner! MVP NFL!
Man, give me a hug.

- After what happened earlier,
how about just a handshake?

- Hugs it is!

- You know, kids, I'm all
about meeting the fans.

But I don't think you're
supposed to be on stage.

- Okay, we'll be quick.

- You're gonna have to be
because my show starts

in exactly two minutes
and 12 seconds.

- Then stop interrupting me.

Okay, Troy and I play
for the same team.

- Ooh, a girl football
player? Nice.

- Kurt! Time!

Anyway, Troy wants to leave
for another school.

- Not just any school.

The best football school
in the state.

- So, that's our question.

Should Troy do the honorable
thing and stay,

or heartlessly
abandon his team?

- Well, uh, and I'm not
just saying this

because I'm on the air
in 72 seconds.

But, Troy, I really think you
oughta stay with your team.

- Shabooyah.

- You don't think
I wanna stay?

It's k*lling me
to leave my team,

my friends, my school.

It's like leaving
my home.

But this is my dream.

And Wentworth can get
me to the NFL.

Isn't that worth
leaving for?

- You know what, Troy?
I really can relate.

But when it comes to football,

it's all about putting
your teammates first.

- Yeah, I guess maybe
you're right.

- No, he's not.
- What?

- Yeah. What?

- If football's really about
putting your teammates first,

you should be telling
me to put Troy first.

Can't you see how
much this means to him?

It's his dream.

- But, I'm...
I'm agreeing with you.

- But you were wrong.

Troy, you have to
go to Wentworth.

I'm sorry. I was
being selfish.

And Kurt Warner really
should have noticed that.

- Is there anything
else I can do for you

in the next 15 seconds?

- Yeah, uh, can I be on TV?

- I'm not sure.
Let's ask Security.

- So, does this mean you're
okay with me leaving?

- No. But I will be.

I just realized I'm not just
upset over losing a teammate.

I'm upset because
I feel like I'm losing

one of my best friends.

I wish you didn't
have to leave.

I'm gonna miss you.

- Yeah, I'm gonna
miss you, too.

Aw, come on, give me
another rib-breaker.

Ohhhh!

That was just
an expression.

- ♪

- Hey, Bella, look.

Thanks for coming with me
to tell the guys.

- I don't think you know what
you're walking into, Troy.

You thought I was upset.

The guys are gonna
be totally devastated.

- That's awesome!
- Congrats, bro.

- Sweet.
- Amazing.

- Huh?

- Well, now you're guaranteed
to go to the NFL.

- You're the first of us
to touch tomorrow.

- Wait. So none of you
guys are upset?

- Who would be upset
about Troy living his dream?

- Yeah, Bella, only a selfish
butt-knuckle would do that.

- I did that.

- Butt-knuckle? Say what?
- BELLA: What?

- NEWT, SAWYER, LUIS, RICKY:
[laughing]

- Yeah!
- Wow.

- You guys should run.
She's a pincher.

- NEWT, SAWYER, LUIS, RICKY:
Okay! Okay!

[yelping]

- ♪