02x07 - Dudes & Chicks

[bunniefuu]

- ♪

- Hey, check it out, guys.
The team's hoodies are here.

- Oh, great.

- Here you go, Newt.
- Ooh.

- And Troy.
- Thank you.

- I love this embroidery.

The cross-stitching really
makes my name look "gangsta."

- Hey, this feels
a little small.

- SOPHIE: [laughing]

- That's because I had Bella
order it in my size.

Team sweatshirts
are really for girlfriends.

- Well, uh, I had them do

something a little
special with mine.

Instead of just
writing "Troy,"

I had them write "The Troy,"

you know, to...to stand
out from you guys.

- You definitely
stand out--

'cause it says "Then Troy."

- Aw, man!

How could they make
this mistake?

Who thinks someone's
name is "Then"?

- Who thinks someone's
name is "The"?

- OTHERS: [laughing]

- Maybe it's your new thing.

"Then Troy" realized
his hoodie was messed up.

- OTHERS: [laughing]
- Hey!

- "Then Troy"
got embarrassed.

- OTHERS: [laughing]
- Embarrassed?

The Troy does not
get embarrassed, okay?

- "Then Troy" looked like
he was gonna cry.

- OTHERS: Aww...
- Ha. Ha. I get it.

"Then Troy" told...

"Then Friends"...

rude!

- I'd better go--
I've gotta get up early

to work at my family's stand
at the farmers' market.

- Ooh, maybe I'll drop by.
I love the farmers' market.

- Oh, me, too.
- The locally-grown produce.

- The deep-fried food truck.
- The friendly farmers.

- The deep-fried food truck.
- Fresh-squeezed juice.

- The deep-fried food truck.

- It'd be healthier

to get hit by that truck
than to eat from it.

- Oh, I'll see ya tomorrow.
Pepper's helping at the stand.

- And I can't wait.
[laughing]

You have to save me!
- What do you mean?

- I don't like
working at the stand.

I have to smile at strangers,

and pretend I know
stuff about vegetables.

I don't know the difference

between a scallion
and a green onion.

- They're the same thing.

- See? That's why
I need you.

Please keep me company.

- Sure, I can come hang out.

I don't think I have
anything planned.

- Pinky promise?
- Yeah, pinky promise.

- Yay! [laughing]
It's gonna be so fun.

Just a few things
to remember.

Uh, bring old clothes,
wear sunscreen,

and show up at 4:00 a.m.
- Did you say 4:00 a.m.?

- Pinky promises
are legally binding.

- ♪

- ♪ You won't find
me in the bleachers ♪

- ♪ Yeah that girl
is one of us ♪

- ♪ I'm made of spice
and sugar ♪

- ♪ She's pretty...
she's pretty tough ♪

- ♪ Then add
a little glitter ♪

- ♪ She off in
a cloud of dust ♪

- ♪ And you get...
you get... ♪

- ♪ A game changer,
play maker ♪

♪ Take the ball,
she'll see ya later ♪

- ♪ I'm on a dreamlike,
teamlike ♪

♪ Livin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ Play like Friday night

♪ Kickin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ One of the boys ♪

- ♪

- [laughing]

This looks like
my Aunt Carol.

- This one's your mom.

Hey, Carol, did you watch
the new episode of

"Bring Me a Bachelor"
last night?

- I never miss it, Jan.

- Come on, this is
a Huggins stand.

Our gourds watch manly
programmin' like

"Ice Road Tractor Disasters."

Hmph.

- I know at least
one Huggins who watches

"Bring Me a Bachelor."

- Pepper.

She's...she's talkin'
about my Uncle Fred.

- [cell phone buzzing]
- Oh.

Oh, Charlie's gonna
be here any minute.

I'm gonna go meet him
in the parking lot.

- Wait. Charlie?

As in Sawyer's awful
Cousin Charlie?

I don't wanna see him.

- Why not?

- It was Sawyer's
ninth birthday party.

I was trying to avoid
Troy and the other boys

who were having a...
- LITTLE TROY: Food fight!

- [food thwacking]

- Then Charlie walked over.

- Hey, Bella,
this is for you.

- [liquid splatters]

- OLDER BELLA: And out of
literally nowhere,

poured a smoothie all over
my brand new party dress.

- OTHER KIDS:
[laughing]

- Do you think
this is funny--Chuckles?

OLDER BELLA:
Everyone laughed at me.

I'll never forget
how embarrassed I was.

- Oh, Bella,
that's terrible.

- I know. Let's not
talk to him.

I say we totally
ice him out.

- I got your back, baby.

Here they come.

- Bella, you remember
my Cousin Charlie, right?

- Uh...uh...

[laughing]

- What happened to
icing him out?

- I melted.
He's way too hot.

[laughing]

- VENDOR: Thank you for
your business. Enjoy.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- How can you guys
eat that stuff?

It's so bad for you.

- [sipping, gagging]
Delicious.

- Yeah, well, I wanna marry

this deep-fried
beef on a stick.

- "Then Troy" kissed
his deep-fried bride

and they lived
happily ever after.

- Until he got
hungry one night.

"Then Troy" was single again.

- SOPHIE & NEWT:
[laughing]

- This beef is so good.
[sniffing]

I can't even be
mad right now.

- [chick chirping]

- Look who I found.

Aw, with a spot
on your head.

Aw, hi, Spot.

- I knew under that
tough exterior

there was a big,
old softie.

- Please. I just don't want
it to get stepped on.

- Yeah, right, softie.

♪ You love him

- NEWT: She does.

She's capable of love.

And hate.

- Yeah, well, we'd better
take Spot here

back to the Schweger Farm's
petting zoo.

- Well, you have
fun with that.

I'm gonna get
a second breakfast.

- Hey, uh, you hungry?
- [chick chirping]

- Oh, no, he probably
knew this guy.

I'm sorry.

- ♪

- Wow.

Charlie is a total
dream bae.

- I know. Right?

Too bad he's probably
still a jerk.

- He doesn't seem
like a jerk.

- Oh, yeah?

Just look at
him over there

taking food from that
helpless old lady.

- Yeah, Bella, and maybe
after he helps her

load that food in her car,

he'll steal all
of her purse candy.

- Fine! There's
nothing wrong with him.

He's hot and helpful.
- Yeah.

I wish my boyfriend
was that helpful.

- Ah! [smacks hand]

Only two samples
per person.

We talked about
this, Jeremy.

- Oh, Sawyer...

- I'm sorry.
Did you say something?

I was just watching Charlie
carry a box of muscles--

I...I mean abs.
Apples!

I mean apples!
- PEPPER: [laughing]

- Bells, you are
spazzing hard.

- Yeah.

'Cause I think
I'm crushing hard.

- You and Charlie?

Oh, my, cousins!
I love it!

- I know.

I just need to figure out
a way to talk to him--

using actual words.

I...uh...guh...uh...buh...

What was that?

- You need to get a grip
and make your move--

otherwise,
someone else will.

- Rules are rules.

Now get along.
Get. Get. Go on.

- It might be me.

- [sighing]
I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna make a move.

So, what's the plan?
Hit me with it.

- You're gonna go
home and change.

- Got it. Then what?
- That's it. You need to change.

All of this.
Like all of it.

Now go.
[laughing]

- ♪

- FEMALE VENDOR: Thank you
so much. Enjoy.

- Thank you.

Oh, you know,
for a double-fried

bacon-wrapped asparagus,
this is surprisingly fresh.

- It should be.

You know, most of
our ingredients

come right from
Schweger Farms.

- Wait, Schweger Farms?

You mean the farm that
runs the petting zoo?

- Yep, they're our
biggest supplier.

- [timer dings]
- Oh.

Chicken strips are up!
- Where's the chick?

- We returned it to the petting
zoo right before they closed.

- Oh, no.
- I knew it.

♪ You love him
- I don't love him!

I just don't want us to be
accessories to chicken m*rder.

- I'm confused.
- I'm scared.

- I just found out
that Schweger Farms

sells their chicks to the
farmers in the fryer truck.

We've gotta get Spot back.

- Are you crazy?
This is Texas.

You could go to jail
for chicken theft.

Just ask Sawyer's
Uncle Fred--

any Saturday during visiting
hours at the county jail.

- Well, if we don't
do something fast,

Spot can end up deep-fried.

- TROY: Mmmm, deep-fried.
- NEWT: I'm in.

- I'm sorry, that was my stomach
talking, not my conscience.

I'm in. Let's do it.

- ♪

- Okay, Sawyer,
full disclosure--

you might notice
I look different.

- Weren't you wearing
this earlier?

- Know what? Carry on.
- Yeah.

- You look great, Bella.

Charlie's gonna
be so blown away,

he'll have a massive
heart attack

and drop dead on the spot.

- Oh, I hope he does!

Not the dying
part, though.

Or the heart attack part.

But the "blown away" part.

- Here he comes.

- Hey, Sawyer,
can you give me a hand?

- Sorry, I'm pretty busy
dishin' out sample-sized--

Hey, man, get outta here!
[smacking hand]

- Yeah, Pepper,
help him with that.

- Try not to scream
when Charlie says "Yes."

Just give it a cute giggle.
- [giggling coyly]

- Perfect.

- Okay.

Here we go.

So, uh, do you have
any big plans

after the farmers'
market today?

- No, not really.

- Cool. Cool. Cool.

Uh, how do you feel
about ice cream?

- I like it.
- Me, too. Me, too.

Do you wanna get
ice cream after this?

Together?

- Do you mean like a date?

- Yeah, I do.

- Oh. No, thanks.

- [giggling coyly]
Wait. What?

- Sorry, Bella,
I'm not interested.

I think you know why.

- But...

I don't know why.

- I just figured out what
looks different about you.

You look way sadder.

Yeah.

- ♪

- Talk to me, Bella.

- [muffled gibberish]

- Okay, let's try
that again.

- I'm just so embarrassed.

Being rejected
was bad enough,

but I have no idea
what Charlie meant by,

"You know why."

I went through all
the possibilities in my head.

Do I smell? Nope.
I did a pit check.

[sniffing]
Twice.

Maybe I was wrong.
Can...can you?

- PEPPER: [gasping]

Sorry, Bella, but even
our friendship has its limits.

- I don't get it.
I was nothing but nice.

Plus, when we were
little kids,

Charlie was a jerk to me.

If anyone should "know why,"
he should "know why."

- Aw...

Maybe you were too much
for him done up like this--

a little too high
maintenance.

- Pepper, you're the one who
told me to get dressed up.

- Yeah, that's my bad.

- It's like Charlie has
something against me.

Do you think Sawyer
knows what it is?

- Let's ask him.

Sawyer, get outta
the refrigerator

and come in here, please.

- Are you done with
your "girlie" emergency?

I wanna go.

Our...movie...
starts in five minutes.

- Not yet.
I need your help.

- But the movie!

- We can watch "Bring Me
a Bachelor" later, Sawyer.

- Nah, I don't watch that.
[laughing]

But if your mom spoils
it again for me,

I'm gonna be mad.

- Okay, I need to know...

does Charlie have a problem
with me for some reason?

- Oh, most definitely.
Problem solved. Let's go.

- No, okay,
what do you mean

Charlie most definitely
has a problem with me?

- I think you know
why, Bella.

- I do not know why!
- Tell her why!

- Okay.

It happened at
my ninth birthday party.

I was about to walk out
with my cake...

That thing was amazin'.

It was shaped like a hot dog,
but it was actually a cake.

The mustard was lemon,
the ketchup was raspberry, and--

- I do not care about
your hot dog cake!

- Focus, Sawyer!

- Fine. Like I was saying...

I was walking out
when I heard Bella.

- LITTLE BELLA:
This is the worst party ever!

I'm leaving!

- Where's everyone going?

- Bella left
and everyone went with her.

- What a fun k*ller.

Who's gonna help me
eat the hot dog?

We were mad at you
for years.

I got over it eventually.

But I guess
Charlie didn't.

He was real excited
about that hot dog cake.

That guy has
his priorities straight.

- But the only reason
I left was because

Charlie dumped
a smoothie on me.

- It was a Huggins
party, Bella.

Food fights are mandatory
and you were a fun k*ller.

- A fun k*ller?
- Mm-hm.

- No way.
I'm a fun starter.

Right, Pepper?

- So much fun.

All the time.

- Yeah, well, that's not
what Charlie thinks.

- Fine.

I'm going to show Charlie
how awesome I can be.

I'll just go back to
the farm stand tomorrow

as my funnest fun self.

Fun Bella is comin'
out to play.

- [laughing]

That's one of
my favorite Bellas.

- [cell phone buzzing]

- And that's your mom spoiling
"Bring Me a Bachelor."

Looks like Emily
chose Brock.

Oh.

Thanks a lot, Jan.

- ♪

- Okay, come on.
- Thank you.

- Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.

Whoa, aren't you kids a little
old for the petting zoo?

- Uh, we're tall
for our age.

- It's a glandular thing.

- And...and shame on you
for pointin' that out.

Rude.
- Sorry.

- All right, look for Spot.

He's the one with
the...spot.

- Right.
- Right.

- [chicks chirping]

- Hey, I don't see him.

- Sophie, I have a visual.

- [Spot chirping]

- Hey. Hi, here.

Can I have a turn
holding the chick?

- I don't know.
Can you?

- Sure can.

- [Spot chirping]

- Got him. Let's go.

Guys, what's the hold up?

- We can't leave without Chirpy,
Bubblegum, Geoffrey,

Joffrey and Kanye.

- Fine. We'll save 'em all.

But only because I don't
wanna watch you guys cry.

- Thank you.

- Hey, friends!
Where's the party?

Oh, wait.
She just got here.

And so did these
donuts. Boom!

- Oh, nice!

- Time to show Charlie
I am no fun k*ller.

- Donuts?
[laughing]

Bella, you are so fun!

Bella, you're just
so fun, right?

Oh, Sawyer and I need to
go and do something.

Bella, can you help
Charlie watch the stand?

- Sure, I'll help
Charlie watch the stand.

- Okay, what do
we need to do?

- Nothing.
Bella likes Charlie.

- Aw, we could have
a double wedding.

I really need to stop
watching "Bring Me a Bachelor."

Sorry.

- Oh. Hey, Charlie.

You know what would
be a lot of fun?

A pumpkin drum solo.

[imitates drumming]

Thank you, farmers' market!

Oh!

- Hey, thanks for
the donuts,

but you don't
have to stick around.

Business is slow this morning.
- Oh, really?

Well, I can do
something about that.

- Come to the Huggins
Family Farm stand

where the produce
is delicious

and the entertainment
is free.

- Hey, watch it!

- Sorry. Here.
Have one on the house.

- Ow!

- She's new.

Same old Bella.

I have you, farmers' market!

- ♪

- TROY: Hee. Hee
Hee. Hee. h*. h*.

- Troy, I'm gonna need you
to giggle in your head.

- I can't help it.
It's tickling me.

Hee. Hee. Hee. Hee.
Sorry. Under control.

- All right,
let's do this.

Sweet, we're in the clear.

- Morning, Mr. Schweger.
- Oh, howdy, Sawyer.

- Of course, Sawyer knows
every farmer in the state.

- Aren't you guys a little
old for the petting zoo?

- Was Jane Goodall
a little old

to live with those
chimpanzees, Pepper?

- Hee. Hee. Hee.

Hey, man, stop it.
Quit playin'.

- Hey, have you got
my chick in your pocket?

- Uh, no, that's crazy.

- Guys, why are you stealing
the Schwegers' chickens.

You can go to jail for
that--like my Uncle Fred.

- We're not stealing them.
We're liberating them.

- Yeah, come on, go!

Run! Go! Go on!

Go! Run! Be free!

Go! Come on.

I can't help you,
if you can't help yourself.

Meet me half way.

- What's going on?

- When these chicks grow up,

he sells them to
the farmer's fryer truck.

- No, I don't.
- Oh, really?

The fryer truck lady said you're
their biggest supplier.

- Yes, of vegetables.

They love my asparagus.

- Well, if you're
a vegetable farm,

why do you have
a petting zoo?

- Because no one likes
to pet vegetables.

- Well, you haven't
met my Uncle Fred.

- But then...

Oh, I get it.

Sorry about that.

- It's okay, but I am gonna
need the chicks back.

- Yeah, no problem.

Uh, well...

I guess this
is goodbye, Spot.

I love you!

- I knew it.

- Then Sophie admitted
she had a heart.

- Really, guys? I'm trying to
have a moment with my chick.

- Hee. Hee. Hee.
Hee. Hee. Hee.

Hee. Hee. Hee.

Oops, I missed one.

- ♪

- You know what, Charlie?

I know you think
I'm a fun k*ller.

But I'm not
the fun k*ller--you are.

- Fun k*ller?

What...what are
you talking about?

- Sawyer told me everything.

You've hated me ever
since I supposedly

destroyed his ninth
birthday party.

- That might be Sawyer's
memory of his party,

but mine is different.

What I remember is...

having a crush on you.

- I'm sorry?
A what now?

- OLDER CHARLIE: I didn't
know how else

to tell you how I felt,
so I bought you a smoothie.

Hey, Bella.
This is for you.

OLDER CHARLIE:
And then I tripped.

- [liquid splattering]
- KIDS: [laughing]

- Do you think this
is funny--Chuckles?

- Ha, ha, Chuckles.
- KIDS: [laughing]

- Those guys weren't
laughing at you.

They were laughing
at me.

- This is the worst
party ever!

I'm leaving!

- But it was an accident.

- KIDS: Chuckles! Chuckles!
Chuckles! Chuckles! Chuckles!

- So, not only did
I get rejected,

I also earned
a new nickname.

Everyone called me "Chuckles"
for years after that--

even my grandma.

- I feel terrible.

How come no one ever told
me what really happened?

- I...I told Sawyer,

but he kept talking
about his hot dog cake.

He can't seem
to get over that.

- Say no more.

I'm so sorry
I yelled at you.

I honestly thought you
did it on purpose

because you hated me.

If I knew everyone was going to
make fun of you like that,

I never would have done it.

- And I thought
you hated me, too.

- Nope. Not any more,
at least.

- Good.

- Yeah. Good.

- Well, if we don't
hate each other,

then maybe we should
get that ice cream

you were talking about
earlier--together.

- You mean like a date?

- Definitely
like a date.

- I, uh...

I mean...
[giggling coyly]

- CHARLIE:
[laughing]

- ♪

- [sighing]

Seriously, this week has been
the worst of all time.

I have so much homework

that my social life is
officially over until forever.

Or next June.
Whichever comes first.

Plus, all nine of my brothers
are grounded at the same time--

even the baby.

So now the air in my house
is 100 percent farts.

Oh, and worst of all...

my parents are going through
a brussels sprouts phase

so that fart air is just...

[gagging]

- [Spot chirping]

- Thanks for letting
me vent, Spot.

I feel so much better now.
- [Spot chirping]

- ♪