[audio logo]
[music playing]
[phone ringing]
[distant chatter]
ALLISON: --staring at
me, like totally creepo.
Oh, there was the cutest
dalmatian puppy at the pet store
this weekend.
Oh, my god, she was so adorable.
You would have hated
her, of course.
I was this close to buying--
WOMAN: [chuckles softly]
[faint chatter]
[music playing]
[guitar music]
[knock on door]
MRS. HACKEL: Turn
it down Lester.
We're trying to go to sleep.
[knock on door]
Lester!
[tv test tone]
[snoring]
[upbeat music]
--this into account, fourth
quarter projected earnings are
expected to exceed the
established quota by 6.5%.
That makes the fifth consecutive
quarter that we have seen
substantial gains over
previous quarters,
bringing year-to-date
net profit to 15--
[upbeat music]
[radio static]
Eventually, my
husband found them.
There are only so many
places you can hide a bottle.
Anyway, that's why I
missed the last meeting.
I felt like a giant hand
kept shoving me down anytime
I tried to stand.
And the shakes-- but I did it--
10 days sober.
[applause]
Everyone hears a voice
that's right in your head.
When you fall down, the
voices laugh at you.
When you succeed, they
tell you what a hero
you are, or more likely that
you just got lucky this time.
Next time, well-- but always
this running commentary, right?
And that's what's so great
about drinking, so alluring.
I mean, it shuts
up all the voices.
Sometimes you just want--
you just want them all to--
[engine rumbling]
[siren wailing]
ALLISON: It's just
not working out, Les.
And honestly, you've
gotten kind of creepy
with all your video
games and things.
Anyways, it wouldn't
be right for me
to string you along acting like
everything's OK when it's not.
[tv test tone]
[ominous music]
[tires screech]
[ominous music]
[guitar music]
(SINGING) Methadone
Methadone
Methadone
(SPEAKING) You don't like it?
It's called "Methadone."
It's still kind of
rough around the edges.
Sounds good.
It's from a concept
album I thought up
about a rock star who ODs and
then travels through hell.
Nice.
He meets my ex-wife there.
Anyway, it's just something
new I'm playing around with.
No.
Yeah, I like it.
I'm just really beat from work.
And there was this
girl on the way home.
Crap.
I could never do a
nine-to-fiver, dude.
No idea how you
endure that sh*t.
A little girl.
She was standing
on the sidewalk,
and then she's falling
in front of my car.
Whoa, are you serious?
You didn't hit her, though?
No, almost.
God, I swear she was pushed,
like the man behind her.
I'm sure you're just tripping.
Get you a beer?
No, no.
I'm really trying this time.
Doh!
My bad.
Never mind.
You don't care if
I have one, right?
Not at all.
Go ahead.
So, you're on
the wagon for good.
Well, two days good.
Important thing
is she's OK, right?
The kid, I mean.
Hey, How's Allison, dude?
Shouldn't you be having
babies and sh*t by now?
Crap.
Good boy, Chauncey.
Actually, Allison dumped me.
For reals?
When?
This afternoon.
Oh, that sucks.
Sorry, man.
Meh, she was getting weird.
Weird?
What kind of weird?
Like talking about other guys,
not wanting to spend the night.
Damn, dude.
I mean, like, you live
with your fam-fam.
Why would any girl want
to spend the night there?
What was it, like,
two years or--?
A year and a
half, off and on--
mostly off.
Been rough for a while, I guess.
Then why would
you put up with it?
Dude, it's not like there
aren't any other women.
I know, I know.
I guess you get into a rhythm--
sort of a comfort
zone, you know?
Well, snap out of it.
LES: You know how it is.
No.
Uh, no, I don't know how it is.
I'm Dan Dan, the f*cking man.
I had to put in a revolving
door to handle all my b*tches.
[burps] Pardon me.
[chuckles]
Oh!
That smells, f*ck.
I think I puked a little.
I don't remember
eating sardines.
[phone ringing]
Hmm.
How long has it been going on?
Since Saturday, Friday?
I guess I've lost track of time.
Let me draw some labs.
I'll call you if
I find anything.
Sound good?
Yeah, sure.
Thanks for seeing
me last minute.
Oh, of course, of course.
And nice of you to
work on a holiday.
I never have a day off, ever.
I'll call, OK?
[ominous music]
WOMAN: [sniffling]
[jarring music]
[crow cawing]
[ticking]
[steamer hisses]
The prince is home.
Are you sick?
I'm OK.
You don't look OK.
So when are you going to
clean up your room, Lester?
I can't see the floor.
How can you live in
that much clutter?
I had Julie over
today, and I was so--
I'll clean it up this weekend.
You said that last weekend.
Oh, Barbara's daughter
is home from DC
in a couple of weeks, Trish.
You two should go out.
What have you got to lose?
Have some coffee with the girl.
She looks like a ferret.
Oh, like that Allison
is a beauty queen?
You can do better
than her, Lester.
Your father and I are
very disappointed.
She's dumb as a post.
She doesn't work.
We broke up.
Ha, best news I've heard
all day, isn't it, Abe?
ABE: Wonderful.
Speak up!
Wonderful.
I always thought she
was a gold digger, not
that you have any gold to dig.
At least Trish has a good job.
She teaches Ret*rded children.
Mom!
And she's not strung out on
silicon injections like Allison.
She lives 2,000 miles away.
People have made
it work with worse.
Remember Bert Perry?
He married that girl he
was seeing in Thailand.
She moved here.
Isn't that right, Abe?
Yep, Thailand.
LES: Good for Bert Perry.
You're not getting
any younger, Lester.
[jarring music]
[phone ringing]
[ticking]
[phone beeps]
[ominous music]
[phone beeps]
[ominous music]
[phone beeps]
[ominous music]
I have no clue how
they got in, dude.
Chauncey would have barked.
I would have heard them.
How do you know it's a b*mb?
Did someone contact you, or
have you told anyone else?
They warned me not to.
They said if I did--
Who warned you?
[static]
--serve as a solemn reminder
on this, the anniversary of--
[g*nsh*t]
[clamoring]
[static]
DANNY: They don't give
you a choice, dude.
Danny!
I saw a van haul
off a bunch of girls,
middle of the day, teenagers.
I saw-- I saw--
Maybe it's a hoax, or maybe--
[expl*si*n]
Goddammit!
I can't f*cking-- I can't do it!
I can't do it!
[gasps] Danny.
[chauncey whimpers]
[doorbell rings]
[sprinkler sputtering]
[phone beeps]
[phone beeps]
[loud bang]
[faint chatter]
Hey, Les.
[gasps] Hey, Lloyd.
Team building games
in 20, conference room
C. Don't be late this time.
Room C.
[coughs] Oh, jeepers creepers!
Hey, Lloyd, toothpaste
should get that out.
That's ink!
[notification beeps]
Right, ink.
You're right.
Criminy.
Ugh.
[ominous music]
[clamoring]
[ominous music]
[phone beeps]
[ominous music]
[car engine revving]
[buzzing]
Five minutes later,
another girl says to him,
$10 for a blowjob.
Little Billy can't understand
why all these girls keep
coming up to him and
saying, $10 for a blowjob,
$10 for a blowjob, you know?
So when he gets home, he
asks his mom, hey, mommy,
what's a blowjob?
And his mom tells Billy,
$10, just like in the city.
[chuckles nervously]
What kind of bone
would a dog never eat?
A trombone.
Uh, a farmer is in bed with
his wife-- with his wife, see.
And he, uh-- he rolls over and
he squeezes her titty, you know?
Her titty, see?
And he says-- he says,
if these could give milk,
we wouldn't need a cow.
[man coughs]
[audience heckling]
[audience cheering]
Man.
What's the good word, friend?
Hey.
Mongrels don't
appreciate dry humor.
[audience cheering]
[piano music]
MAN: Woohoo!
Woohoo!
All right, yeah!
Woo!
I see they stuck you
with the same bill I got.
Oh, wow.
Wowee.
Hiya, friend.
Name's Sal.
I guess we're not supposed
to talk about any of this,
so I'll zip it.
Zip.
[glass shatters]
[audience cheering]
Hey, friend, wanna
see a magic trick?
I learned that one in
Panama from a shoe salesman
named Freid, Larry Freid.
Pretty crazy, huh?
Hey, our wedding
was so beautiful,
even our cake was in tears.
See, tears, huh?
What did the mountain
climber name his son?
Cliff, see?
Because Cliff-- oh, when you
have a bladder infection--
va, va, voom.
Thanks, honeypot.
Girls these days are genetically
engineered for one thing--
[whistles] All right?
Huh?
Rrah!
I know the feeling.
What step are you on?
Me, I'm on eight.
Or I guess that'd be seven now.
Make that six.
Wouldn't want all them potatoes
to die for nothing, huh, friend?
MAN: Whoa!
[howls] It's funny how
the girly parts that give us
the miracles of life are the
same parts we men do such vile
things to, ironic even.
Hmm?
Just a little free
philosophizing for you,
on the house.
My head is full of them,
all sorts of crazy ideas.
Sometimes it's so rammed full,
they're busting at the seams
to get out.
It's a wonder my f*cking
head doesn't explode.
Not much of a gabber,
are you, friend?
Not been in a
good mood lately.
You mean with all this racket?
Don't let that get you down.
Your problem is
you see the world
through sh*t-colored glasses.
Is that so?
Sure it is.
You got to lighten up, friend.
Put a smile on your face.
Could be worse.
Heck, you could look like me.
Shame about the president, huh?
Do you-- have you got
any idea who's doing this?
Does it matter?
If you were a smart kid,
you'd keep your nose down
and do what they tell you.
Aha, just like they said.
This here's our job.
You got to pee first?
Let's skadoodle.
You're driving.
[audience cheering]
[ominous music]
[phone beeps]
[music box playing]
[phone beeps]
What's the good word, friend?
[ominous music]
(SINGING) I love
you, Mr. Lion.
You are my best friend
I want to be with you every day
Because you're my best
friend in every way
Mr. Lion
I love you, Mr. Lion
I saw Becca at the
dentist's office today.
Mm-hmm.
Her husband died--
57, heart attack.
Dropped dead just
like that while he was
trying to unblock their toilet.
Mm-hmm.
And to think she
just had all that lipo,
not that it helped much.
[doorbell rings]
Janie, will you get that?
Janie, do as your father asks.
Hi there, little angel.
Is your mommy and daddy home?
Oh, don't be afraid.
I'm not going to
k*ll you or nothing.
I just want to
talk to your folks.
JAMES: Janie, who's at the door?
[sobbing]
Well, better get this
show on the road or else you
and me are both kablooey.
[breathing heavily]
Mommy, I'm scared.
It will be OK.
Daddy will think of something.
If you want money, I'll give
you the combination to the safe.
There's $2,000 in
there, and a gold watch.
Please don't k*ll us.
My-- my daughter has her
whole life ahead of her.
(STUTTERS) Sorry, I--
Mommy.
She's just nine!
Do you have any
nieces or nephews?
I love you, honey.
[sobs] No!
[sobs]
Don't cry.
I can't.
No?
Then nice knowing you.
Can't you?
Me?
Hey, I'm not the one
who got the text, am I?
It's your circus
now, Jimmy Bailey.
Why would he--
I don't make
the rules, friend.
Tick, tock.
Make them stop, James!
I'm begging you, please
don't hurt my family.
I'm so sorry.
They don't give you a choice.
[crying softly]
You don't have to do this.
Take the money and go.
We won't tell anyone.
Sunday is Janie's birthday.
[cries loudly]
Daddy!
Oh, wowee.
Janie.
Janie, I want you
to close your eyes.
Is daddy OK?
Mom, is daddy OK?
Janie, close your eyes.
Please, do as I say!
Make them stop, Mommy!
[indistinct]
[g*nsh*t]
[cries loudly]
[g*nsh*t]
[microwave dings]
Gee.
Them sure was some
fireworks, huh, friend?
[phone chimes]
[phone beeps]
[ominous music]
[wheezing]
Where can you find
a dog with no legs?
Exactly where you left him.
What do you call a
boomerang that don't work?
A stick.
Why can't you hear a
pterodactyl pissing?
Because the P is silent.
A psychopath.
What did the mountain
climber name his son?
Hey, mommy, what's a--
hey, mommy, what's a blow--
hey, mommy, what's a--
[breathing heavily]
[exhales sharply]
[static]
[crying softly]
[doorbell rings]
Les Hackel, will
you come with me?
Sure, officer.
Have I done something?
Come with me.
[radio chatter]
[tense music]
Where are we going?
[tense music]
Bathroom's to the left
if you need to freshen up.
[elevator dings]
Thanks, Dennis.
No problem, Chief.
Sit, Mr. Hackel.
Can I get you a water, tea?
Vodka, maybe?
I'm OK.
[chuckles] Of
course, of course.
I couldn't resist.
Are you ready, then?
Ready?
Did they not explain the
purpose of the proceedings?
Christ, I asked them
to do one simple thing.
Dennis!
Yeah, Chief?
Didn't I tell you to explain
the proceedings to Mr. Hackel?
I did, sir.
He didn't.
He's lying.
Why would I lie?
Never mind!
That's fine, Dennis.
Anyway, you're here to
provide your confession.
Am I being charged
with something?
No, that's the problem.
We need your confession
in order to charge you.
Aren't I entitled to a lawyer?
Of course.
Do you-- do you have one?
LES: No, I didn't know.
That's OK.
We can appoint one.
Would you like us
to appoint one?
Sure, I guess.
It's free.
Dennis?
Yes, sir.
See if Mr. Dummkopf
is available.
I don't understand.
What am I supposed to confess?
That's up to you,
entirely up to you.
All we can do is encourage you.
Is this my client?
Yes, Mr. Dummkopf.
This is Les Hackel.
He's here for his confession.
Did you do it?
Do what?
[chuckles] You wouldn't be
here if we knew that, would you?
This is ridiculous.
Am I under arrest?
Because if I'm not, I'm leaving.
[sinister chuckle] You can
leave, in a little while.
Oh!
First, we would
appreciate your confession.
But I have nothing to confess.
Maybe he doesn't
remember, Chief, hmm?
That's entirely possible.
Do you not remember?
I remember.
Fine, I remember I've
got nothing to confess.
We're getting
nowhere, Mr. Dummkopf.
Your client is not
particularly helpful.
I'm afraid not.
My apologies.
What the hell kind
of lawyer are you?
Can I get a real lawyer?
I am a real lawyer,
you son of a b*tch!
Now you're hurting his
feelings, Mr. Hackel.
I don't give a f*ck!
Release me, immediately!
sh*t!
Could we perhaps speed this up?
I must pick my poodle
up from daycare by 5:00.
Certainly, certainly.
Dennis!
Can you bring in
the confessional?
Yes, Chief.
Thank you, Chief.
We would have gotten around
to you sooner, Mr. Hackel,
but the Department has had
his hands full recently,
as I'm sure you've noticed.
Seems like you've been getting
on all right, nonetheless.
[whistling]
The confessional,
the confessional!
[maniacal laughing]
[whistling]
What the hell is that?
Dennis?
[rattling]
This isn't legal!
Get the f*ck off!
Last chance, Mr. Hackel.
I'm trying to be reasonable.
What do you want
me to confess?
About the family?
We already know
about the family.
No, not that.
What else?
[maniacal laughing]
Now, Chief?
I don't f*cking know.
What else, the suitcase?
Not that either.
Keep thinking.
Here, maybe this'll
jog your memory.
[muffled speech]
[maniacal laughing]
[muffled scream]
[maniacal laughing]
All right.
[whimpering]
[breathing heavily]
I-- I don't know.
I don't f*cking know.
There's nothing to confess.
[laughs] Again, again!
You heard him!
Again!
You certainly are a stubborn
man, aren't you, Mr. Hackel?
Let's try this again.
LES: [muffled scream]
[car engine revving]
[groans]
Ah, you're here.
Les, yeah?
Clive.
Seriously, what are you, 16?
Does your mommy
know you're here?
Well, just don't ask me
to change your nappy.
Anyways, honey booboo, are
you going to stand there like
a b*tch, or are you going
to give me a flippin' hand?
Get me the blowtorch,
sweetheart.
There!
[groaning]
[hammer clatters]
If you left your spine in the
car, you'd better go get it.
You're going to
need it in a minute.
I'm fine.
No, you're not fine!
They'll eat you for lunch.
You got to learn to
stand up for yourself,
you know what I'm saying?
Spine!
Yeah, I had a
rough couple of days.
Excuses, excuses.
You mama's boys are
full of them, I tell ya.
I'm not a mama's boy.
Sure hell smells like one.
[sniffs] Smells like a
dozen stinking yellow roses.
Cut the cord, p*ssy lips.
Use your teeth if you got 'em.
Ah, mama's boy.
[distant clamoring]
It's like the gates of hell
opened up out there, ain't it?
Ah, it was bound to
happen sooner or later.
We'd all k*ll each other off.
Anyway, go fix your mascara.
It's time to roll.
[music playing]
[indistinct speech]
Get the f*ck out the
way, you gits Christ,
was it a funeral
[indistinct speech] Some of us
got g*dd*mn places to be!
Jesus, I never seen
so many imbeciles.
[indistinct speech]
We're here, fruit cake.
Now, don't look so excited.
[chopper blades whirring]
Reach for the sky!
I always wanted to say that.
[yelling]
You better not be getting
p*nsy on me now, mariposa.
Why are you still here?
You want to get us k*lled?
I like my spine the
way it is, arsewipe.
Go, the office!
[ominous music]
[phone beeps]
[g*nsh*t]
Sorry, friend.
Just following orders.
Good, clean shot that was.
Are you awake, princess?
Managed to find a video
recorder, got myself a souvenir.
Oh, don't bother, powderpuff.
You ain't going nowhere.
Me on the other end, well,
I might tailing it out
of this sh*thole.
Powers that be say I
done all right for nows.
Plans, they got.
Big, big, big plans.
I don't know why they care, but
they tells me to leave you half.
Don't spend it all in one place,
and blahby, blahby, blahby,
blah.
There's beer in the
fridge if you get thirsty.
Sorry, all out of appletinis.
[chuckles] Later, sunshine.
[eerie music]
[snoring]
[eerie music]
Sorry.
Is this your place?
I-- I just needed to
get away for a moment.
[static]
Can I stay here?
It's not my place.
I'm going home.
Let me come with you.
I'm sorry, I--
I don't--
(SOBBING) I have
nowhere to go.
Please take me with you.
I can't protect
myself out there.
Everyone has lost their mind.
A group of men
attacked me last night.
They-- they--
What's your name?
Chelsea.
[music playing]
[siren wailing]
[music playing]
[coughs] Cough medicine?
Why would you give
me cough medicine?
It's brandy, and top shelf
brandy at that, apparently.
Helps settle the nerves--
that's what they say.
Hey, if you don't believe
me, you can look it up.
[coughs] I don't really
drink much, or ever.
Good time to start, huh?
[sniffles]
[crying]
I'm all right, really.
So, which way to the bathroom?
Don't know.
Down the hall?
You don't know?
Just moved in, actually.
Well, nice pad.
[coughs] Oh.
Smooth brandy.
My throat's still on fire.
Seriously, I need water.
Can I get you anything?
[screams] Did you do this?
Chelsea.
Of course you did this!
It's your house, isn't it?
Come back into the
living room and I'll--
Just stay there!
Whatever you want--
[gasps] Oh!
Chelsea, come on!
I'm not going to--
I'll do anything!
No.
[cries loudly] Don't k*ll me!
Oh, god!
Listen--
Don't k*ll me!
Will you please listen?
I'm not going to k*ll you.
Stay back!
Look, I honestly don't care.
Stay, go back out there--
either way works for me.
But I need to put on something
that isn't covered in skull.
[breathing heavily]
[shower running]
I'm lucky to be alive.
It was five men.
All of them were twice my size.
They pulled me out of the car,
threw me around like a rag doll.
Are you OK?
Did they--?
I can't remember.
I blacked out.
I-- I think so.
People, people are animals.
The worst thing is part of
me feels like I deserved it.
That's ridiculous.
Why would you-- don't say that.
I guess I never had
the greatest self-esteem.
You can blame my
parents for that.
I hear you.
Are they all
right, your parents?
I called the house,
nobody answered.
You should go check on them.
I guess I should.
This has all happened
so fast, you know?
I can't believe people can
turn into monsters overnight.
I bet-- I bet some t*rror1st
group is behind this.
I keep asking,
nobody seems to know.
CHELSEA: And the police
haven't been much help.
I already had a
run-in with the cops.
They wanted me to
confess to something.
Well, did you?
Did I confess?
Did you do it?
Do what?
Whatever you're
supposed to confess?
They seem to think so.
What is it?
[exhales sharply] My head
feels so thick, all this--
I don't know, like I'm
moving through glue.
You should bury them.
Those people in the kitchen,
they deserve a burial.
Who are they?
No idea.
They made me do it.
Who did?
Oh, who is he?
Sal, a real cut-up.
Is that a barcode?
Looks like it.
There's an app
that can read those.
We used it one
quarter in economics.
[phone dings]
It's all his stats.
You have one, too.
[phone dings]
They've tagged us.
[ominous music]
I had to do it.
I'm not a k*ller.
Is there a blessing we
should say or something?
Do you think
anyone's listening?
[water running]
[sirens wailing]
[snoring]
[phone beeps]
[groans]
[tense music]
[radio playing in car]
Mm-mm.
Shoes off.
What?
You're Letser Hackel?
Yeah?
Could you take your shoes
off before you get in?
You might have stepped in sh*t.
[radio playing in car]
I, uh-- I like fresh air.
[radio playing in car]
They didn't tell me your name.
Call me Mr. Salk.
Oh, disgraceful.
[radio static]
Please, Mr. Hackel,
do not touch.
Did they perchance tell you
what we're doing this morning?
Nope, no idea.
I was hoping you'd know.
No, of course not.
This is not how one properly
conducts business, is it?
In my line of work--
I'm a Certified Public
Accountant-- everything
is carefully itemized,
as it should be.
All this running around
on secret missions,
it shows a blatant
disregard for order.
Well, it's not sustainable,
I can tell you that much.
Seems like nobody knows
what the hell is going on.
I'm as much in the dark
as you are, my friend.
What sorts of missions?
What missions have
I been assigned?
I'd rather not talk about it.
I've done some
terrible things,
things I didn't think
I was capable of.
Well, one never
knows how far one
is willing to go until there's
a g*n to one's head, does one?
The weird part is
whoever or whatever
is behind this seems
to be rewarding me.
A car, a house, a pile of cash--
everything I should have gone
after before this nightmare
began.
Well, why haven't you?
Gone after it?
Fear, maybe.
Ambivalence, complacency.
It was a schoolhouse.
There must have been three
dozen children inside.
Molotov c*ck.
Most of them perished
with the fire.
The others ran.
They ran.
They ran, But they
were still on fire.
That's how they died--
running and screaming and
trying to put out the flames.
[fire cackling]
They kept burning
even after they died.
Oh, god, the sound
of crackling flesh.
The smell-- the smell was--
was-- some of those kids will
survive, scarred for life.
That's no way to live.
Looks absolutely filthy.
[ominous music]
Dear Lord, they said
nothing about this.
I can't possibly--
[ominous music]
[alarm blaring]
[psychotic laugh]
[ominous music]
[breathing heavily] Oh, dear.
Dear, dear me.
[gags]
No, no, no, no, no, no.
[retches]
[chuckles] [whistles]
Allison?
Les, please get
me out of here.
I'm so sorry we broke up.
It was a mistake.
You-- you said I was creepy.
No, I said your video
games were creepy.
You're wonderful.
What happened to you?
It was horrible.
I love you, Les.
I love you so, so much.
Please, get me out of here.
Yeah, I'm over it.
Lester, don't you do it.
I f*cking love you.
Don't you love me?
Goddammit, have you
gone f*cking crazy?
I f*cking love you, you as*h*le.
[screams]
[canned studio laughter]
[ominous music]
Oh, god!
It's too much for me, Lester,
all the blood, all the m--
mess!
[flies buzzing]
Help me, Lester!
Oh, dear God!
[coughs]
[retches]
I can't do it!
I can't!
How can they ask me to?
It's absolutely sadistic!
Lester!
[ominous music]
Les, where have you been?
Was it a girl?
A girl?
I had to do one of
their g*dd*mn missions.
You're clothes.
Are you-- are you bleeding?
I just want to lay down.
Shower and lay down, OK?
I can make you something
if you're hungry.
Soup-- we have soup.
[sighs]
Something like this.
It was on the barrels.
That's the knot of Hercules.
We studied it in art
history last year.
And a name, Harrison.
What the hell does it mean?
Barrels of pureed
humans, for f*ck's sake.
That's awful.
The weird thing is
the name seems familiar.
Well, relax, and
maybe it'll come to you.
Try to clear your head.
Not that easy.
How are you?
I'll be OK.
That wasn't the question.
There aren't any words for it.
Devastated?
[static]
Oh, god.
What is this?
This-- this is trouble.
It's an army.
They're creating an army.
Or sl*ves.
[feet marching]
[music playing]
Do you hear it?
The music?
Yeah.
[music playing]
I know this song.
Damn it.
[music playing]
Stop, Les, please.
I'm going to be--
I'm going to be sick.
Go inside.
What is it?
[whirring, beeping]
Is that Egyptian?
Binary?
I was going to say that.
What's it mean?
[whirring, beeping]
[mumbling indistinctly]
[piano music]
[eerie music]
[jarring music]
[growls] [roars]
[breathing heavily]
[music playing]
[sniffles]
Stop it!
What's wrong with you?
I don't know.
I'm losing my mind.
Don't leave me, Les.
I couldn't make it.
I-- I think I need help.
Cough.
[coughs]
[inhales, exhales deeply]
[coughs]
[thumping]
[chair squeaks]
Sounds fine, Les.
Everything in the
blood work looks OK.
Oh, that's reassuring.
So you've been hearing music?
Chelsea hears it, too.
Hmm.
It's the same tune every time.
It repeats over, and
over, and over, and over.
It was playing at the mill
and when I saw the alien.
Mm-hmm, alien.
I don't know-- alien,
monster, boogeyman.
CHELSEA: Uh, I wasn't
there for that.
And these big yellow
barrels full of people.
People?
Pureed people.
I suppose they're feeding
this bogeyman with it.
Who's feeding
the bogeyman, Les?
Well, that's just it--
I haven't figured out who, yet.
But it's starting to make sense.
See, we got this USB
drive from Sal's stomach.
And when we opened
it, there were
these-- these symbols,
hieroglyphics or something, code
of some sort.
It's got to be a message.
I-- I-- I-- Just seems like--
It sounds like it maybe
there's something else going on,
maybe something you
want to confess?
What would-- what
would I confess?
Come on, you've
got to know what's
been happening in the world.
Les.
I mean, you've
seen the news, right?
You've seen the--
Les, have you
been drinking again?
You can tell me.
I haven't.
Doc, I quit,
totally cold turkey.
It's been days.
I'm sure if you took an
X-ray of my neck, you'd see--
See what exactly?
The b*mb.
It must have been put
there by the aliens
or whoever's behind all this.
Now, Les, do you
realize how you sound?
I know exactly how I sound.
OK, then you
would know that if I
deemed you a threat to yourself,
I would be responsible.
Come on, Dr. Travers.
I would need to order an
involuntary psychiatric hold.
Do you know what that is?
I'm not going to hurt myself.
Well, I'll be the judge.
Just an X-ray.
[buzzing, whirring]
Do you see it?
[gasps] You do, don't you?
Hello, Mr. Hackel, Victoria.
I'm supposed to
give you something.
[chuckles softly]
Anything else I can get you?
Anything at all?
I'm OK.
Or give you, hmm?
Anything.
Well, if you think of
something, I'm right outside.
Give me a bang, hmm?
[chuckles softly]
[beeping]
[beeping, whirring]
Looking for the exit?
You can't run out of the
hospital in just your pajamas
and underwear, sweet pea.
[gasps]
Oh, you must have
forgotten your underwear.
Ow.
Ooh.
It's still a little
sore from the clamp.
Well, if you're going
to dress like this,
you're kind of asking for it.
Yeah.
But if you don't mind, I'll be
heading back to my room now.
Mr. Hackel, Lester,
we're both too old
to be playing silly
games, agreed?
Now, I'm just going to
check your thermometer,
see if you have a fever.
Oh, yes.
Yes, yes.
This is not looking
good, Mr. Hackel.
Very, very hot.
Perhaps I should send a sample
off to the lab for testing, hmm?
Ow!
We have a biter.
I wouldn't go that way, Lester.
This is where they
keep the colony.
I just left that
wretched sh*thole,
and I am not going back.
Why?
What's the colony?
[girl moaning]
They did something to us--
injected us or used some
sort of mind control.
It's like you have this
hunger all the time.
Have you ever felt that,
Lester, an emptiness
that you can't fill?
God, the birthing was horrible.
[girl moaning]
Birthing?
It doesn't take long at all
after the impregnation, a day
or two.
And then we got right back
in line to start over.
You gotta be
f*cking kidding me.
[groans]
I guess they're
creating a new race--
half human, half whatever
the hell they are.
I've gotta-- to destroy them.
There are too many
by now, thousands.
Let's just leave.
Please, Lester, I
need you so much.
We can do it right here.
I can't just leave them there.
That thing in your neck will
go off if you even try anything.
Come on, I'm dying here.
OK, I'll do whatever you want.
But first, I need you
to destroy those things.
Me?
You need me--
I thought you were hungry?
Didn't you just say?
God, I am, Lester.
I-- I can't stand it.
But--
[ominous music]
[grunting]
[ominous music]
[squeaking] [roars]
[screams]
[horse neighs]
[eerie music]
All those poor girls.
Lined up like Guinea
pigs, all of them
mindlessly spitting out eggs.
What do you think they are?
I can't even imagine.
Whatever they are,
they want to annihilate
the human race, take over
the planet, that's for sure.
How can we stop them?
There must be some
way to stop them?
Maybe we'll find
answers there.
Maybe.
I used to go there when I
was a kid before it shut down,
LaLa JoyLand.
My parents took me.
Fun times.
My long lost childhood.
Were you ever close?
With my parents?
Once.
What happened?
Crazy mommy, missing daddy.
It's a real syndrome.
Look it up.
No, seriously.
I am being serious.
Probably lots of
guys suffer from it.
How was your mom crazy?
Too long a story.
And your dad left you?
No, but he was still missing.
You make it sound like
you had a rough childhood.
It's all relative,
though, isn't it?
Sure, if you say so.
Anyway, you should forgive them.
That's what I would do.
[eerie music]
They used to have these
people dressed up as cartoon
characters wandering the park--
a troll, a skunk, a wizard.
Always scared the
crap out of me.
One was a big, fluffy white dog.
That thing terrified
me the most.
His eyes were always looking
off in different directions.
I was always scared of
the Easter Bunny as a kid.
The Easter Bunny is
frightening as hell, Chelsea.
Never trust the cute things.
A boy went missing here
once in broad daylight.
They never found him.
Attendance dwindled
off after that.
I guess that's when they
decided to shut down.
[chuckles]
Hmm?
Some kid threw up at
the top of that thing--
missed me by an inch.
But he hit my friend Alex, who
went on to vomit his own soda
and corn dog.
Next thing I know, half a
dozen people were up chucking.
They call it puke rain.
It's a real thing.
Look it up, puke rain.
I came to this
place every summer.
First kiss next to the
bumper cars, Becky McGovern--
hated those braces.
CHELSEA: Sounds like
you had fun here.
LES: Are you kidding?
Some of my best childhood
memories are from this park.
Now look at it.
Hmm, looks to me like
everyone has moved on.
Everyone except--
Hiya, peanut.
Miss me?
Les!
I didn't miss you.
Sees what I did there?
Sorry, sweet pea.
Orders is orders.
f*cking pig!
Yeah, that's what I
likes to hear, spine.
Nothing personal, eh, treacle.
You understand.
Now, let's make
this nice and quick.
[tense music]
I hope your girlfriend is OK.
Might have a cracking
headache when
she wakes up, if she wakes up.
I might've taken out a
few teeth, which may not
be such a bad thing after alls
for you anyway, if you see
what I mean.
Talking about fellatio.
That's what I mean.
Anyways, be a dear and come out
so I can scramble up your brains
and get home already.
Time is wasting.
Tick, tock!
Hey, how was that
appletini, by the ways?
Oh, criminy!
[breathing heavily] Damn it!
I heard a good one
the other day, pumpkin.
What did one tampon
say to the other?
Nothing.
They were both stuck up b*tches.
Stuck up b*tches, huh?
Oh, come on.
You gotta admit, that's a riot.
Unless you're one of them's
liberal feminist fannies.
Ah.
Likes I said, no hard
feelings, friend.
You've just gotten a
bit nosy, that's all.
This whole end of
the world thing's
got everyone acting
a bit doolally,
if you knows what I mean.
[tense music]
Yep, stuck up b*tches.
I get it.
[buzzing]
Chelsea?
Chelsea?
[music playing over megaphone]
[roaring, squishing]
[dramatic music]
[crow caws]
[dramatic music]
They got to me
last night, Les.
There's nothing I could do.
I'm sorry.
[dramatic music]
[gags, groans]
[ticking]
[steamer hisses]
[breathing heavily]
Back so soon?
How was your day?
Thanks for finally
cleaning up your room.
It's nice to be able to
walk around in there.
Sure.
What's the matter, Lester?
You look like crap.
I'm just really tired.
Was it work?
No, I--
I quit.
Well, you always hated that
job, the way they treated you.
You're full of all sorts
of good news this week.
Maybe you'll even find your
own place, an apartment?
Wouldn't that be wonderful, Abe?
ABE: Sure would.
I actually found
a place, a house.
Fantastic.
And how about that
sweet little girl
you met, Chelsea,
the school girl?
Are you still seeing her?
Did I tell you about her?
Wasn't that her name?
It is.
It was.
MRS. HACKEL: Chelsea--
But--
--that was it.
Oh, dad and I think
she's adorable.
Abe?
ABE: Adorable.
It's nice to see you getting
your life together, Lester.
How long did it take you?
35 years.
Dad and I thought you
would never grow up.
I'd be in a nursing
home, and you would still
be sitting in that room
playing video games, watching--
[feet marching]
Anyway, time to move on.
It'll start getting crowded
around here soon with me
taking care of the brood.
Don't you think so, Abe?
ABE: Very--
Will you speak up?
ABE: Very crowded.
It's like living
with a teenager.
Brood?
In the garage.
It's their dinner time
if you want to feed them.
[gentle music]
[babies crying]
Lester, you woke them up.
[babies crying]
Give me a hand
with their supper.
Oh!
Lester!
You have to k*ll them, mom.
They'll take over the world.
k*ll them?
They're harmless babies.
This is insane.
You're being hysterical.
[music box playing]
They're hungry.
They need to be fed.
Look at them!
They're diseased!
They aren't diseased.
LES: They're suffering!
Nonsense.
Are you going to
help me feed them?
Lester, your b*mb will go off!
I don't care anymore.
This has to stop!
See?
It didn't go off.
It will when they--
when they find out.
Lester!
[babies crying]
Give that to me, Lester.
You can't!
Give me that--
Lester!
Dad!
Lester, give that to
me and go to your room!
[whimpers]
[babies crying]
Dad!
What have you done?
Who's going to clean this up?
[moaning]
[babies crying]
[dramatic music]
[babies crying]
[dramatic music]
[babies crying]
Dad?
[doorbell rings]
[sirens wailing]
Well, looks like
Clive was right.
We were all itching to k*ll
each other off, weren't we?
Seems like it didn't take much
to get the ball rolling, huh?
Ah, humanity.
[sirens wailing]
[elevator music]
Sorry to hear about your
girlfriend, Mr. Hackel.
We had a Scottie
dog that died once,
the missus and I. Had
its throat ripped out
by a pack of coyotes--
wandered right up our
street in broad daylight.
They're not afraid of anything.
Anyway, horrible way to go.
Thanks.
She wasn't my girlfriend.
No, that she was
not, that she was not.
So now you've had
some time to think.
Are you about ready to confess?
Very well.
[electricity buzzing]
Any clearer?
[breathing heavily]
There's nothing to confess.
I would really hate to be
your scrotum right about now.
Again, Chief?
Think, Mr. Hackel, think.
It's buried in that
head somewhere.
Now that you've cleared
out all those voices,
k*lled them off one by one,
it should be easy enough
to find if you look for it.
I haven't done anything!
Exactly, you
haven't done anything.
Now we're getting somewhere.
You haven't done anything.
35 and living with mom.
A job you hate.
Never had a meaningful
relationship with a woman,
or a human being
for that matter.
You're being awfully
hard on the guy, Chief.
I'm not arguing with you.
OK.
So maybe you don't
care about yourself,
but think of the others.
What others?
Oh, you still don't get it.
All right, Mr. Hackel,
no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Think!
Think!
Think!
Think!
It's there, isn't
it, Mr. Hackel?
Did you find it?
Think!
[electricity buzzing]
All right.
That'll do it, Lester.
Closing time.
Last one, last one.
Nope, sorry.
Come on.
Gotta cut you off.
Come on!
Can I call you a ride?
Eh, I'm right down the block.
Come on!
I'm sorry, I wish I could.
House rules.
[exhales sharply] OK, OK.
I got this.
[car horn blaring]
[radio playing in car]
Woohoo, woo!
Whoa!
[chuckles] Oop, whoa.
Whoa.
[chuckles] Woo!
Woohoo!
[bang]
[music box playing]
The f*ck was that?
[tense music]
sh*t.
sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.
[tense music]
[jarring music]
REPORTER (ON RADIO):
Police are seeking
witnesses of a fatal
hit-and-run accident.
29-year-old Roger Mill was
cycling late last night.
ALLISON: You've gotten very
creepy with all your video games
and things.
Anyways, it wouldn't be right
for me to string you along.
[car engine revving]
MRS. HACKEL: Turn
it down, Lester.
[eerie music]
I'm sure you've heard of
it, delirium tremens, DTs.
He seems to be at the tail end.
I'll start him on a sedative.
Keep him hydrated.
Rest him.
Impossible!
Lester never drinks.
[eerie music]
Is that what you
wanted to know?
If you ask me,
the law is soft.
You might not even
get a year in jail.
Did you know that?
Less than a year for
vehicular manslaughter,
then out on probation.
Well, obviously you knew that.
It's pathetic.
Yeah, but that's
beside the point.
Did you want to see her again?
Sorry, Chelsea.
I-- how are you?
Not bad, aside from one
heck of a sore throat.
You look like a mess.
How do you feel?
Clearer, a lot clearer.
Does it make sense now without
all those voices in your head?
They call it static
in the attic.
It's a real thing.
Look it up.
Static.
Are you ready?
I think so.
Yeah, I am.
Think of the family
you've destroyed.
They deserve to know--
his wife, his daughter.
I know, I know.
You're free to
leave, Mr. Hackel.
Stay off the sauce.
Dennis, you can show
Mr. Hackel the way out.
Sure, Chief.
That's OK.
I know the way.
[stirring music]
[ominous music]
[phone rings]
DISPATCHER: Thank
you for calling--
Hi, I--
I need to confess a crime.
[music playing]
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