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01x31 - Big Top Bungling/Space Cats

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Heathcliff and the Catillac Cats". Aired: September 3, 1984 – September 30, 1985.*
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Each episode featured two segments, one being about Heathcliff and his friends, while the other featured The Catillac Cats.

01x31 - Big Top Bungling/Space Cats

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their
neighborhood ♪

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ Playing pranks
on everyone ♪

♪ There's a race
to be on top ♪

♪ The competition
doesn't stop ♪

♪ He's mixing
with the ladies fair ♪

♪ Being charming,
debonair ♪

♪ The g*ng
will reign supreme ♪

♪ And no one
can deny-y-y-y ♪

♪ They'll make some history

♪ And always have
an alibi-i-i ♪

♪ So join in the jubilee

♪ The cats are great,
they'll all agree ♪

♪ You'll find in each calamity

♪ The cats' superiority

♪ Oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their neighborhood

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ You should realize

♪ He can win it with you

[Whistling]

Heh heh heh!

Let's see. I think
a double-hitch half-loop
triple sailor's knot

Ought to do the trick.

Dogcatcher!

- Yaaa!
- Yaaa!

- These two guys
are inseparable.

Hee hee hee!

- Grrr!
- Grrr!

- This is starting out
to be a great day.

- ♪ Bop shoo-op
boppity bop ♪

♪ Bop shoo-op
boppity bop ♪

- Ahh! Life is sweet.

- I tell you, bill,
we need a new animal act,

Something
with a lot of pizzazz.

- Yeah. I know.
People get tired

Of the same old
lions, tigers, and stuff.

- If we could only find
the right animal.

- Next time I see
that heathcliff,

I'm going to
let him have it.

- Hee hee hee!

He's going to be
seeing a lot of me.

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

- [Yelling]

- Maybe if we held
a talent cont--

- Fire one!

- Driver! Pull over!

Bill! Look at that!

- Incredible!

- Oof!

- Heathcliff, can we talk?

- Send me a letter...
Airmail.

- Do you see what I see?

- And now, fans,

The amazing heathcliff
will attempt

The incredibly difficult
double-flip half-twist
with a full gainer.

- Yow!
- Yow!

- Fantastic!

This is amazing!

That cat is the answer
to our prayers!

- Wait! What's
he going to do now?

- Ta-da!

- We'd better
ask around and find out
who owns that cat.

- My thoughts, exactly.

- Heathcliff, huh?
Well, that wasn't hard.

- I'll say! That cat
is already famous
in this neighborhood.

- "Infamous" is a better word.

[Doorbell rings]

- I'll get it!
- I'll get it!

- I'll get it.

- Can I help you?

- Are you the owner
of heathcliff?

- What did he do now?

- Oh, he didn't do
anything wrong.

He did something
very right.

- Hey, grandma!

Fella out here says heathcliff
did something right.

- We're the bungling
brothers

Of the bungling brothers'
snoring and boring circus,

And we'd like to give
heathcliff a tryout
in tonight's show.

- You want heathcliff
to catch some mice for you?

- No, no, no. We want him to do
his sensational acrobatics.

- Acrobatics?

- I'll tell you what--
just send heathcliff
over to the circus grounds,

And we'll show him
everything he has to do.

- I'll take heathcliff
over to the circus, grandpa.

- Ok. We'll give it a try.

At least it'll get him
out of the house.

Heathcliff doing
circus acrobatics?

I don't know
about this.

- When you got it,
you got it.

- Heathcliff, you wait here.

I'll go find
the bungling brothers.

- Heh heh heh!

Hey, being
a lion-tamer is easy.

- Grrr!

- Don't they feed you
around here?

- Grrr!

- This ought to do the trick.

- Grrr! Grrr!

Ohh! Yikes!

[Knees knocking]

- That ought to
give him something
to reflect on.

Hee hee hee!

[Classical music playing]

I better liven up
this party.

Oh, here's a good one--

Rock till you drop.

[Rock music playing]

Uh, may I have this dance?

I'm a dancing fool.
Hee hee hee!

- Well, heathcliff,
how do you like the circus?

- So far, so good.

- Tonight, heathcliff
will get to show the world

What he can do.

- When heathcliff
performs tonight, we get him.

- I can't believe
our heathcliff is in the circus!

- Why? He's always been a clown.

- You just wait.
Heathcliff is going to
be great. I know it.

I don't know. I still have
a funny feeling about this.

- Ahh! Ooh!

- Uh, where's the dog act?

- Will somebody please find
the dog act?!

[Barking and meowing]

- Break a leg, guys!

- What happened to the dogs?

- Ok. Forget the dogs.
Bring up the k*ller lion.

- [Panting]

- This is a k*ller lion?

- Get heathcliff!

- Yeah! Bring on heathcliff!

Tell the ringmaster
to announce heathcliff.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

The bungling brothers'
snoring and boring circus

Is proud to present...

The great, stupendous,
the amazing heathcliff!

[Applause]

- There he is!
There's heathcliff!

- Oh, doesn't he look cute!

- I don't know about this.

- Ooh!
- Ooh!
- Ooh!

- Ooh!
- Ooh!
- Ooh!

- There he is. Let's get him!

- Uh-oh.

- Ooh!

- Aah!
- Aah!
- Aah!

- Impossible!

- Wow!

- Hooray!

Next time
we get close, let go
and grab heathcliff.

- Very bad idea.

- Ta-da!

- Yay!
- Yay!
- Yay!

- Well, heathcliff,
we have an opening
in our circus for you

If you can do your act
without clobbering
other animals.

- Do you think
you can do that?

I was afraid
he'd say that.

- Heathcliff
needs motivation.

- And now,
the incredible heathcliff

Will perform his amazing
bouncing-cat trick.

Alley-oop!

I guess I just have
a natural talent for fun.

Hee hee hee!

- Picture!
We got a picture!

[Beeping]

The eye in the sky.

- You mean
pie in the sky.

- You'll see, cleo.
This will work.

When we get
this satellite in orbit,

We can look down
and see everything--

Every refuse heap,
every garbage truck,
every trash can.

We'll be able to zero in
on every gourmet meal in town.

- You always know how
to dream big, riffraff.

- Stand by for countdown.





Zero!

Liftoff!

- I don't believe it!

- Today the junkyard,
tomorrow the world!

- Oh, no!

- It's going to abort!

- I believe it.

- Failure!

- The satellite!

Uh, are you ok?

- Now I'll never
see my satellite in orbit.

- Here's what you need.

It's the shuttle rocket,
stopping for fuel

At westfinster
international airport.

Now, there is a spaceship
that'll fly.

- The shuttle rocket
right here in westfinster!

My dream has come true!

All we have to do is
get this baby on-board,

And we can let
the shuttle pilot
do the work for us.

- They got guards, riffraff.

- So what?

- We can give them
a surprise

If we wear
a good disguise.

[Crash]

- It's a mite large,
don't you think?

- Just large enough...
For all of us.

- Uh, you sure this
is going to work, riffraff?

- Trust me.

Ready?

Just do everything
I say now.

I'm your eyes and ears.
I'm the brain.

- You? The brain?

We arein trouble.

- Now, mungo, let's go.

Whoa!

- It's hot in here.

- Uh, my nose itches.

Uh-oh! I'm going to sneeze!

- Do something, please!
Don't let him sneeze.

- Ah-ah-ah--

- Uh, halt. Who goes there?

- Ah-ah-who!

- "Who?" I'llask
the questions here.

Do you know
the pass code?

- Oh, no! The pass code!

- Violets are...

- Ah-blue!

- Your foot is in your...

- Ah-shoe!

- And bubble gum is to...

- Ah-ah-chew!

- Sorry, sir.
I didn't recognize you at first.

Uh, pass on.

- Ouch!

- Unh!

- Watch out!

- Hey! Yow!

- Isn't it strange
what space can do to your body?

- This is it!

Wow! Look
at all this stuff!

Good thing
we don't have to
fly this baby.

It'd take a genius
to figure it out.

- Don't try
to figure it out, riffraff.

Let's dump your satellite
and get out of here.

- Just a minute.
I'm looking for something.

- Hey, guys,
get these boots off of me.

- Unh! Unh!
- Unh! Unh!

- If I could just figure
how to open the door
to the cargo bay.

- Unh! Unh!
- Unh! Unh!

- Point your toes, mungo.

- Uh, like this?

- Yow!
- Yow!

[Crash]

- I think you found it.

- It's like a dream come true.

- Hey! Mayday! Mayday!

Regulation 108--
no unsecured objects

In the cargo bay. 10-4?

Don't you know
the s.o.p. Code 20
section "f"?

Before you come
aboard, you i.d.
And then 10-7, ok?

Otherwise,
it's an s-n-a-f-u.

- He sounds smart,
but what's he talking about?

- Who are you, fella?

- I.d.? I am roger
double-minor of 3-x
program, model 11-k,

And you are u.a.p.--
Unauthorized personnel.

- Oh, yeah? Well, all
we want to do is set up
our s.s. For launch,

Then get out of here
p.d.q.

- 0600. A little late
for that. Time for t-o.

[Rumbling]

- What is happening?

- Ta-ta. See you at 30-k.

- Uh, what did
he say, riffraff?

- I don't know,
but I think he put us down.

- And now he's taking us up.
We're trapped.

- I knew I shouldn't
have trusted
that monkey.

- This trip
wasn't planned.

Who knows where
we'll land?

- He thinks
he owns this ship.

If I could get
my hands on him,

I'd show hims.o.p.

- ♪ Da da do dee dee

♪ Da da dee dee da

- Mungo, this ain't no time
to play hit songs.

- ♪ Doo dee doo dee dum

♪ Doo doo doo
dee do doo ♪

- Huh?

-I'll teach you your abcs.

- Mayday! Mayday!

- Yaaa!

[Beeping]

Uh-oh! That does
not sound good.

- We're in space!

- Th-there's no gravity.

- Now, don't take
this wrong,

But I'm 10 times as strong.

- Hey! This is fun!

- Hey, you guys, mungo flies!

- Shuttle rocket, come in.

Is anybody aboard?
Identify. Identify.

Out of control.
Must be an accident.

Nobody is aboard
that spacecraft.

We'll have to go
to the computers.

[Beeping]

- Ok. The computers
will save us.

- Not yet, pal.

No computers until I do
what I set out to do.

I got a satellite to launch.

Yep. That's it.

Come on.
I ain't got all day.

[Motor starts]

Today the junkyard,
tomorrow the world!

- A miracle of technology.
The computers are locked in.

The shuttle rocket is safe.

Ready for reentry.

- [Cheering]

- Satellite launched
as planned.

Mission accomplished.

- That's a roger.

Shuttle rocket now
cleared for landing
at nearest airport--

Westfinster
international.

- Home!

- How's that, riffraff?

- Getting a signal?

- Yes. There.
The satellite signal
is coming in.

- Well, what do you see?

- Oh, no!
I can't control it.

I put a satellite in orbit,

And all I get to see is hector,
wordsworth, and mungo.

- So? What's wrong with that?

- I should have left
the satellite here

And put those guys
in orbit.

- Ha ha ha!

- Hi, mom!

- Uh, are we on tv?

- I'm pointing my face
at outer space.

- ♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their neighborhood

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ Playing pranks on everyone

♪ The g*ng will reign supreme

♪ And no can deny-y-y-y

♪ They'll make some history

♪ And always have an alibi

♪ So join in the jubilee

♪ The cats are great,
they'll all agree ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ You should realize

♪ He can win it with you