Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

01x34 - Gopher Broke/A Camping We Will Go

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Heathcliff and the Catillac Cats". Aired: September 3, 1984 – September 30, 1985.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Each episode featured two segments, one being about Heathcliff and his friends, while the other featured The Catillac Cats.

01x34 - Gopher Broke/A Camping We Will Go

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their neighborhood

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ Playing pranks on everyone

♪ There's a race to be on top

♪ The competition doesn't stop

♪ Mixing with the ladies fair

♪ Being charming, debonair

♪ The g*ng will reign supreme

♪ And no one can deny-y-y-y

♪ They'll make some history

♪ And always have an alibi-i-i

♪ So join in the jubilee

♪ The cats are great,
they'll all agree ♪

♪ Find in each calamity

♪ The cats' superiority

♪ Oh oh oh
♪ oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their neighborhood

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ You should realize

♪ He can win it with you

What a perfect day
to do nothing but do nothing.

Whoa!

- Nice work, chubby.
You just ruined our tunnel.

- Yeah, fatso.
Can't you watch
where you're going?

- You better watch
who you're calling names.

This is my turf,
and you're trespassing.

- [Laughter]

- He says it's his turf!

- Hee hee hee!
Then I think we have to
give him some more of it.

- Ooh!

- I wonder
what happened to tubby.

- I guess we should have told
him that first step is a doozie!

- [Laughter]

- There are going to be


That ought to do it.

When they go for
their new girlfriend,

I grab them and pow!

[Imitating female]
yoo-hoo!

I wish there was a handsome
gopher to take me out tonight.

- She's sensational!

- She's beautiful!

- She's mine!

Oof!

- Uh!

- [Yelling]

- It should be any minute now.

[Imitating female]
come on, boys.

Poor little me
is getting tired of waiting.

- She's mine.

- Keep dreaming!
She's mine!

- I saw her first.

- But she likes me.

I can tell.

- She's mine!

- She's mine!

- [Grunting]

Aah!

- Oh. It's just chubby again.

- I think we should teach him

It's not nice
to toy with our emotions.

[Gophers punching heathcliff]

- Ooh, are they going
to pay for this!

If this doesn't get them,
nothing will.

Perfect.

[Blows]

[Gophers snoring]

- Hee hee hee!

- Ooh!

Yikes!

Ooh, watch it!
It's a trap.

- Old chubbo's at it again!

I got an idea.

[Whispering]

- [Giggling]

- Ok. 3...2...1.

Got them!

Well, if at first
you don't succeed...

Hee hee hee!

Cut it out!
I'm losing my grip on the trap.

Hee hee hee!

- 3...

- 2...

- Oh, no!

- One!

- Yeoww!

[Crash]

- If I were you,
I'd put some ice on it.

- Yeah. Why don't you
try the north pole?

I hear they've got
plenty of ice.

- Ooh, this salad's
pretty good.

- No. Chubbs used
too much garlic.

- Someone's leaving town,

But it's not going to be me.

- Hee hee hee!

- Ha ha ha!

- I'm going to send at least
one of those little monsters
into permanent orbit!

- Hey, look!

- I'm thirsty!
I think I'll go get a drink.

- Ok, and I'll just
wait here on the seesaw.

[Gophers giggling]

- [Grunting]

One gopher going up!

Huh?

[Gophers chomping]

- I think that will do it.

- Ohh! Ohh!

- Yes, that will
definitely do it.

- You know, I think I'll
join you in that drink now.

- Whoa!

Make that one cat going up!

It's not over yet!

- Did you hear something?

- No, but I think
I saw a u.f.o.--

Unidentified fat object.

- Ha ha ha!

- I liked the salad bit better.

- I thought the seesaw
was a cute idea.

- Shall we?

- Why not?

That poor cat is trying so hard.

- Come on, guys.
Nice, fresh strawberries!

- A garbage can?
Is he kidding?

- Play along or you'll
give him a complex.

- A little trip to the dump,
and my problems will be over.

Hee hee hee!

[Jackhammer]

Huh?

I've got
this terrible feeling.

Boy, it sure is dark in here!

- Would you care
to do the honors?

- It's so much more fun

Doing things together.

- Yeoww!

[Crash]

- Ta-da!

- Those gophers
will pay for this!

There's got to be
a way to get those rodents.

If you can't beat them,
join them!

Hee hee hee!

Yeee!

You're not going to
get away this time!

Hee hee hee!

- You think we should
tell him about the lake?

- No. He'll find out
soon enough.

- What?

[Gurgling]

You'll pay for this!

- Ha ha ha!

- [Whistles]

- Some guys just don't
know when to quit.

- I think a cement bath
will drive that lesson home.

Hee hee hee!

- Those gophers are in
for a hard time.

Hee hee hee!

[Rumbling]

Uh-oh.

Not this time, rodents!

This is one cat who's tired
of being the underdog.

- Run! Run!

- Freeze, turkeys!

- [Panting]

- Boy, talk about
following orders.

Hee hee hee!

- It's so nice of you
to take me for a ride.

- Well, I wanted to show
off my new wheels.

- It's really pretty fast.

- Ah, I take good care of it.

Every 200 miles,
I rotate the gophers.

- [Panting and groaning]

- Hee hee hee!

- [Snoring]

- Looks like bush is a-sleeping,
so we'd better go in a-creeping.

Shh!

- Shh!
- Shh!

- Uh, shh!

[Tuba sounding]

- That canine plays a mean horn!

- Hey, be quiet.
Don't cause a riot.

[Horn blares]
- yeoww!

Oh! Hey! Oh! Oh!
Look out! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Ow! Hey! Ah!

Ooh! Hey!
Who turned out the lights?

- Don't worry, old bush.

We'll only be a minute.

He probably doesn't
even know what hit him.

- ♪ You crazy thing

♪ You make my heart zing

♪ Zing-a-ling
zing-a-ling ♪

- Shh...

[Cleo humming]

- Huh?

Oh!

Oh, gee, sorry, riff raff.

You surprised me.

You going to be ok?

- No sweat.
How about a kiss?

What you listening to?

- It's a great new band--
the nasty cats.

[Music playing faintly]

- Hey, these guys
are the greatest!

- Let me listen.

The best I've ever heard!

- What's the scoop
on this super group?

- Duh...i don't think
they're so great.

- Oh, riff raff,

The nasty cats just happen
to be playing tonight.

Will you take me
to the concert?
It's in the city.

- We'd love to go!

- Sure. I'll take you.

[Music playing]

- Duh...i'm a dancing fool!

- Hey, sit down.
You're rocking the boat.

- Oh, sorry.

- This concert's
going to be great.

Hope we won't be late.

- Hey, what gives?

- Oh, no! I can't
believe our luck.

- It's just a summer shower.

[Thunder]

- Yikes!

- Aah!

- Better start bailing,
or we won't be sailing.

- Ohh...some summer shower.

[All groaning]

- With a bit of luck,
we won't get stuck.

Ooh!

- Duh...this doesn't look
like a rock concert.

- Everyone out!

- Where are we?

- Nowhere.

- You guys stay here.

I'm going to
build us a tent.

Boy, is cleo
going to be impressed!

Huh?

Oh, no!

- This pad ain't bad, huh?

- I couldn't wait much longer.

- No problem.

- Real soon, we'll be up
in the balloon.

- I'm hungry.
Where's the eats?

- Leave it to me.

Get me out of here,
you clowns!

- Yaah!

- Wow!

- She's done it again!

- We need a fire
for a fish fryer.

- I'll handle it!

- [Yawn]

- Any second now, there's
going to be a big blaze!

- Give me a go at it, riffy.

- This is beginning
to get to me.

- ♪ The outdoor life's for me

- [Mumbling]
- ♪ the sky, some fish,
and trees ♪

♪ Oh, mother nature,
you're so fine ♪

- [Loud screech]

I didn't know you could
reach that high a note.

- It wasn't me, don't you see?

[All screaming]

- Whoa!

- Ohh!

- Ohh!

- Ohh!

- Yikes!

- [Screeches]

- Hey, you guys,
I think it's safe.

Where's mungo?

Hector and wordsworth,
go that-a-way,

And me and cleo
will go that-a-way.

After you.

- Oh, no, after you.

- Don't be scared.
You're with me.

- Me, scared?
No way!

- Hey, mungo, you in here?

Guess not.
Let's split.

- Aah!

[Whistling]

- Let's see. If I was he,
where would I be?

- I wonder what's under there.

- [Growling]

- Sorry I asked!

Oh, no!

Aha!

Here's mungo.

- [Growling]

- Oh! Ow!

[Dog growling]

Oof!

- Ohh! Oh! Oh!

- I wonder if cleo
and riff raff found him.

- I wonder if hector
and wordsworth found him.

Hey, let's check out
the stream. Come on!

Hey, mungo!

- Over here!

- Huh?

Wh-who? Huh?

- Mungo!

- Hey! What you doing
over there?

- Looking for you!

How'd you get way over there?

- I don't know.

I was so scared, I took off.

- How are we going to
get him back over here?

- Hmm.

You go relax.
This is going to be a breeze.

Have you back in a sec!

At last, a chance
to prove myself.

[Whistling]

Just a few finishing touches,
and we'll bring mungo to safety

With this bridge.

No problem.
Just a minor touch-up.

Hey, cleo,
how are you doing?

What?

Ohh!

- What took you guys so long?

- Yaa! Ohh! Ohh!

Ow! Yaa!

- That's riff raff!

- Hey, old friend,
we thought it was the end.

- Well, time's a-wasting.
Let's get the show on the road.

- I can't believe it.

Beaten every time by a girl!

- Hey, cleo, you're a girl.
Why don't you just sew it up?

- Because I don't sew.
That's why.

- Watch out.
We'll be out of here in no time.

- [Sigh]

- Whew!

I was beginning
to get worried there.

- You did good.

- We're out of here!

- Here we go
to the rock and roll show!

- You know, we should
go camping more often.

[Others growl]

[All laugh]

- Here's an important tip
for all pet owners.

Even if your dog or cat isn't
crazy about the idea,

Make sure they are
taken to the vet's

And given all of their--shots.

Show your pet how much you care

By keeping him or her
healthy and happy.

Your pet will thank you for it.

You know, I really do
feel much better,

And I've got iggy
to thank for it.

- ♪ Heathcliff, heathcliff,
no one should ♪

♪ Terrify their neighborhood

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ Playing pranks on everyone

♪ The g*ng will reign supreme

♪ And no one can deny-y-y-y

♪ They'll make some history

♪ And always have an alibi

♪ So join in the jubilee

♪ The cats are great,
they'll all agree ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ But heathcliff
just won't be undone ♪

♪ You should realize

♪ He can win it with you