[BIRDS CHIRP]
[THROAT SINGING]
[WOODPECKER PECKS]
[THROAT SINGING CONTINUES]
[WINGS FLUTTER]
[WINGS FLUTTER]
[WHIRRING]
[SNORTING AND SNUFFLING]
[CROWS CAW]
The preacher!
Alexander MacBeath.
Heretics!
- Pluckless scunners!
- [THEY CLAMOUR]
- [KNIFE THUDS]
- [SHE GASPS]
- [SPINNING WHEEL SLICES]
- Ah!
[MEN GRUNT]
Ya fud! [SHE WINCES]
[DOG GROWLS]
- No, George!
- [DOG GROWLS]
George!
Staw, I'll spaive ya!
[DISTANT CROWS CAW]
What time is it?
[THROAT SINGING]
[SHEEP BAA]
[SHE PANTS]
- Yes!
- [CROWD CHEERS]
Aye, I thought so.
That auld spinster is
nae gonna miss this.
Ha'ing a picnic, pet?
MARION: Did you go
to the last one?
No, terrible.
They died straight away.
Didn't even see
'em shite themsel'.
You're no' a covenanter, are ye?
You think he's a holy man?
He'll be "holey" when
they're done wi' him.
Aw, ya bam, ye reek of fish.
Of course I do, ya
ninny. I'm a fishwife.
- Silence!
- [CROWD HUSHES]
[TURKEY GOBBLES]
This be the heretic...
Alexander Macbeath.
[CROWD JEERS AND BOOS]
[MUNCHING]
Some fanatics... may
think him a man o' God.
A prophet.
[CROWD MURMURS]
A witch!
[CROWD HISSES AND MOANS]
He is but a man!
[CROWD BOOS]
[DIVINE MUSIC]
My God.
[MUNCHING]
- [THUDDING]
- [HE GRUNTS]
[CROWD GASPS]
You're my only fanatic.
Aye.
[BIRD CHIRPS]
Will we see each other again?
Aye.
In your dreams.
No! You cannae die.
- On behalf of the King...
- We've only just met!
I sentence ye to be
broken on the wheel.
- Yes!
- [CROWD CHEERS]
[SHE GASPS]
OFFICER: Your limbs
will be snapped.
- [CROWD GASPS]
- Your hands, feet, and baws
parted frae your body
and then ye will be
hanged at the neck.
Wheesht, stop ya baaing!
- OFFICER: Then burned!
- [CROWD TITTERS]
Flayed!
Then your head parted
from your neck.
And placed on a spike...
at Edinburgh's gates.
Is that everything?
- Yes!
- [POLEAXES SWING]
Come on!
Tie him to the wheel!
- [AGNES GASPS]
- Heretic!
- Let me speak!
- [CROWD GASPS]
I had plans...
for something much
bigger scale than this.
No matter.
In your dreams, I'll
have my immortality.
So remember when I say...
- No!
- He who lives...
- [DOG BARKS]
- No, George!
- [LOUD SPLAT]
- [CROWD GASPS]
Hm.
- [POLEAXE CREAKS]
- [CROWD GASPS]
[CROWD GROANS]
[SHE GASPS]
[BODY THUDS]
I will...
find you.
k*ll him!
[DIVINE MUSIC]
[SHE SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING FADES]
[SHE SCOFFS] What an eejit.
[BIRD CHIRPS]
[BIRDS SING]
AGNES [VO]: I feel...
dead inside.
Shall I fetch you
a tonic, Mistress?
No. No.
Oh, go on then.
What ails thee, Mistress?
It is hard to
explain to a servant.
But I shall try...
though it be fruitless.
Don't bother yourself, Mistress,
I must clean the grate.
I have everything
I have ever wanted.
Fine teeth.
My books.
A handsome house.
[CAT MEOWS]
A hale and hearty husband,
who is oft absent,
and any trinket my
heart desires, but...
I cannot help but
seem to grieve.
For something I have lost.
Is it your dil doul, Mistress,
for I found it under the bed?
No! It is not my dil doul!
Please do not use such a word.
If alone, Mistress, there's much
to be said for enjoying yourself.
It is not mine!
Please dust it off and put
it back where you found it.
I speak not of the body,
Meg, but of the soul.
I am missing something.
And even I know not what it is.
I wish I could find
it for you, Mistress.
I do not know that it is
possible to fill this hole, Meg.
Do not say it.
Even with a dil doul.
It is like a memory...
a yearning.
To return somewhere
I have not yet been.
Do you see what I mean?
No.
Of course you do not. You
have the mind of a lamb.
Mine is not that
much bigger, but...
yet still I trouble myself.
We are all prisoners of
our destiny, Mistress.
- Can I have that tonic?
- Oh.
[GLASS CLINKS]
Another.
[CAT MEOWS]
- [WHIP CRACKS]
- [HORSE NEIGHS]
[NEIGHING ECHOES]
George...
- [DOOR BANGS]
- [HE GROWLS]
[DOG YAPS]
[HE GRUNTS]
[BOOMING FOOTSTEPS]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[HE GRUNTS]
- [SHE GASPS]
- [HE BELCHES AND GROWLS]
[HE GRUNTS]
[HE GROWLS]
[CRUNCHING AND CHEWING]
Mm.
[HE GRUNTS]
[ANIMALISTIC GROWLING]
AGNES [VO]: George! No!
- [POLEAXE SLICES]
- [DOG YAPS]
AGNES [VO]: George...
[HE BURPS] Your head.
- My head?
- Get it measured!
A new wig for the ball, my dove!
One that is not so
terrible... small.
- [ANIMALISTIC GROWLING]
- [KNIFE THUDS]
- Come, Scipio.
- [CHAIR SCREECHES]
Get the door, man!
[DOOR OPENS]
- Stop!
- DRIVER: Whoa!
Lester!
Get me out of here.
I was told the wig
shop, Mistress.
I wish to take the Epping path.
LESTER: It's crawling
with footpads.
We'll take our chance.
- [WHIP CRACKS]
- [HOOVES CLOP]
[SHE GASPS]
[DIVINE MUSIC]
Hey, stop!
[HE YELLS] I said stop!
Stop!
Stop!
[HE GRUNTS]
[SHE GASPS]
[DIVINE MUSIC]
I know him.
- I know him!
- [WHEELS SCREECH]
- [LOUD THUD]
- Ooh!
Ugh...
Why didn't you
stop when I asked?
That Toby would snabble
your privy purse.
Chance would be a fine thing.
[BIRD CHIRPS]
[THEY GIGGLE]
I am in love.
Is that for me?
Lester! Look how cute!
So beautiful!
Meg. Meg. Meg.
I saw my beloved.
He knew me...
as I know him. I...
do not know how it
is possible, but...
it is no dream.
MEG: Shh, Mistress!
But I fear your death.
I know not why.
Meg, I was dead.
But now I am reborn.
What have I to fear?
- Your husband.
- [DISTANT WOLF HOWLS]
Yes, there is that.
He's asked me to
warm the marital bed.
Oh, my Lord...
Yes, yes, he is.
No...
Oh, what am I to do?
Your duty.
Meg, why would you
say such a thing!
- I'm a servant.
- He's a dog!
Meg! I cannot explain it.
He's a dog...
[SHE SIGHS]
Save yourself.
[CREAKING FOOTSTEPS]
[ANIMALISTIC GROWLING]
[DOOR OPENS]
[HE BARKS]
[ANIMALISTIC GROWLING]
- [HE GRUNTS]
- [MATCH STRIKES]
[HE GROWLS]
[HE WHISTLES]
[HE GRUNTS]
Are you loyal to me?
[SHE YAPS]
Good.
Good girl.
[HE GROWLS]
Every dog has his day.
[HE GROANS]
- [MEATY SQUELCH]
- [FLIES BUZZ]
- [ANIMALISTIC GROWLING]
- [SHE SCREAMS]
[IRON BARS CLANK]
[DISTORTED GROWLING]
[SHE GASPS]
[BIRDS SING OUTSIDE]
It saddens me to see
a pretty bird caged.
How else would one
enjoy the bird?
I'm not talking about the bird.
Well, what are
you talking about?
I'm talking about you, madam.
Why don't you just say
"you" instead of a bird?
It was a metaphor.
I don't understand what that is.
It doesn't matter.
God made me a shadow, Mistress.
Sometimes it serves me,
more often it does not.
Well, you're not a sl*ve.
We're all sl*ves, Mistress.
I am not.
[HE LAUGHS]
[HE CHUCKLES]
En garde.
Scipio, um...
you know I'm your mistress?
You should not beat me.
Man's fortune turns on a wheel.
Those at the bottom will
one day be on the top.
And vice versa.
Yes, but a woman
will never be on top.
Not in my experience.
- [SWORDS CLASH]
- [THEY GRUNT]
Don't you want to try freedom?
I like my dresses.
I like my gardens, and my books.
I like owning things!
You could overthrow him.
No, he's very fat.
He will not own me!
You know what happens
to revolutionaries.
What?
- They lose their...
- Death is just change.
What are you afraid of?
[SWORD SWISHES]
[BIRD CHIRPS]
Fly, my spirit...
fly!
Fly, you c**t.
- [HARPSICHORD MUSIC]
- [BIRD CHIRPS]
- [THUNDER CRACKS]
- [WOLF HOWLS]
[DOOR CREAKS]
Come to bed.
I am not a dog,
and I will not be commanded.
What?
[SHE GASPS]
[HE SCOFFS]
- She dies at the end.
- [SHE YELPS]
They always do.
You do not want me
to be Enlightened!
- I do not, madam!
- [MUSIC RESUMES]
What good is an
Enlightened woman?
Brain rot!
I'd sooner a rotted brain
than a rotted c*ck!
[THUNDER CRACKS]
[HE GROWLS]
I think this is what they
call "burning passion".
Hm?
[FLAMES ROAR ANIMALISTICALLY]
AGNES [VO]: My heart burns
wilder than any bonfire.
'Tis an animal!
- I beg you not to do this.
- Beast!
Mistress, your beautiful
home, your dresses,
all your lovely little trinkets!
Pass me the choker.
No.
Do you love me?
[LAUGHTER ECHOES]
Yes.
Then let me go.
MEG: Wait!
Wait!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Again! Once more, Lester!
Again.
Once more, Lester!
[DOG BARKS]
Again! Once more, Lester.
- Tally-h*!
- Ah...
MAN OUTSIDE: Stop!
- [HORSE NEIGHS]
- I said stop!
You hairy buffoon!
It's me he wants.
Stand down!
What a coincidence.
W... What do y...
Ahem!
[IN DEEP VOICE]
What do you mean?
You wish to rob me?
Well, um...
aye.
Thank you.
[HORSE SNORTS]
We have met before.
I think you fancy
some other fork.
Well, he looked like you.
Smelled like you.
[SHE SNIFFS]
[SHE COUGHS]
Well, your nozzle
looks familiar,
now you come to mention it.
[HORSE SNORTS]
We need a secret
codeword, say...
"mushrooms".
I... I don't have
a mind for words.
You're right.
f*ck words.
LESTER: oh, what's
she doing now?
That woman is deranged.
In my dreams...
women sigh at my name.
Men fill their britches.
I fly like an owl.
- An owl?
- Yes.
An owl.
Through the night.
And I'm never caught.
Immortal.
Alive in the songs that
folk sing around the fire.
I think...
you have real potential.
You are the only one.
But, er, sadly I
lack one thing...
I will buy it for you.
- Fame.
- Oh.
I... I cannot buy fame.
You heard of me?
Alex o' Nine Ribbons?
Oh, yeah... Oh!
No.
But, but... save me
from my empty existence
and I will give you your dreams.
[HORSE NEIGHS IN DISTANCE]
- [DISTANT SHOUT]
- Tell people of my name.
[LOUD THUD]
[SHE GASPS]
[WHIP CRACKS]
[ANIMALISTIC GROWLING]
Gemini.
The Man In The Iron Mask.
Rhododendrons.
Red.
Being shot.
Hot dogs.
Mushrooms. [VOICE DISTORTS]
[SHE GASPS] Mushrooms...
[CAT MEOWS]
[DOOR OPENS]
Now my family jewels are gone,
what will you wear to
the ball, hm? Rags?
Rosehips from the garden?
- This?
- [CAT YOWLS]
I will catch the blaggard myself
and I will hang him from
a noose in the garden!
Now tell me his name.
Tell me his name!
Alex O' Nine Ribbons.
- Who the f*ck is that?
- Alex O' Nine Ribbons!
You asked me his
name! That's his name.
GEORGE: I've never
heard of him.
AGNES: You'll never catch him!
He fled on a stallion as swift as
midnight, over the seas to France.
GEORGE: Lies!
I don't fancy he'll
steal old boots,
not now your pole hole
has the Scotch pox.
Ooh! [HE CACKLES]
I have given away everything.
My gems...
my honour...
and now even my mossy
treasure has gone off.
Bring me Geoffrey.
[BABY COOS]
He hates me as well!
[MEG MURMURS]
Mummy's just hurt...
[DOOR SHUTS]
I have nothing left.
[SHE GASPS]
I've been here before...
and will be again.
[HE GRUNTS]
Nothing that can't be fixed!
Good as new.
[DEVICE SQUEAKS]
[SOUND OF HORSES GALLOPING]
[WOLF HOWLS]
Another.
For the cat to eat.
I'll eat that cat one day.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC]
[GUESTS LAUGH AND CHATTER]
[WOMEN LAUGH]
[DISTORTED VOICE] Yeah...
[GUESTS CHATTER]
Is that gundiguts your husband?
He looks like bull beef.
Mushrooms?
I do not speak your language.
You kept my heart.
- My heart!
- Your husband will see me.
Swing. Quickly!
[HE GROWLS]
You look like an arse.
It's a heart.
- Do you not like it?
- No.
I did what you asked.
Your name is pon
everyone's lips!
- I leave for France.
- Take me with you.
You'd be too much weight.
You steal my honour
and my baubles,
but you are yet to steal me.
I owe you nothing.
I be but a good, honest thief!
I have changed your fortunes.
Now you must change mine.
[GEORGE GROWLS]
[GUESTS LAUGH]
I'm really sorry, I had no idea!
I will hang him from a noose...
- and you...
- [GUESTS LAUGH]
Poxy wh*re!
You come here!
[SHE SOBS]
- Brute!
- [HE GROWLS]
Come. Here!
Where's my hopes of
a peerage now, hm?
Disappeared up your brown,
madam, along with my honour!
Mangle riddled with rot
like a frog's broom!
[SHE SCREECHES]
[HE WAILS]
[SHE SCREECHES]
- Ah!
- [FLESHY SQUELCH]
[WHIMPERING]
You've taken my nose!
[HE GROANS]
[HE GASPS]
[HE GAGS]
[GEORGE GROANS]
I'll save you.
Mushrooms.
Scipio.
GEORGE: I'm
surrounded by thieves!
I'll deal with you later.
Aggie!
I won't let you leave me!
AGNES: You said
there was a way out.
SCIPIO: Yes.
Death. Your death.
AGNES: But it's so final.
Agnes!
- SCIPIO: Not necessarily.
- AGNES: Are you sure?
SCIPIO: What have
you got to lose?
AGNES: I hope you're right.
You sl*t!
I now know what a fool I was,
to trust my fortunes
to such a...
such a...
fustiluggs mopsey!
You can k*ll me.
But I will return.
I cannot tell you how I know...
but I will come back.
If you do...
I will hunt you down
till the end of time.
Au revoir.
You know I don't speak German.
Romance is dead.
[HE YELLS]
- [BLOOD SQUIRTS]
- [HEAD ROLLS]
[AGNES SCREAMS]
[CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER ECHOES]
[BELL TOLLS]
[CROWS CAW]
[MAN WHISTLES]
- [WHIP CRACKS]
- Hyah!
Sir...
Sir!
DRIVER: Hyah!
[HE CHUCKLES]
Sir!
- [WHIP CRACKS]
- Alex!
[WHEEL SLICES]
[BLOOD SPLUTTERS]
[MUSIC: "DUEL" BY PROPAGANDA]
[AEROPLANE WHIRS]
Eye to eye stand
winners and losers
Hurt by envy
Cut by greed
Face to face with
their own disillusions
The scars of old romances
still on their cheeks
And when blow by blow
The passion dies
sweet little death
Just have been lies
Some memories
of gone by time
Would still
recall the lies
The first cut
won't hurt at all
[MAN WOLF WHISTLES]
AGNES [VO]: I just
feel like a new woman.
Confess your sins to the Lord!
The third will have you...
Hey!
AGNES [VO]: A liberated woman.
You start bleeding,
I start screaming
[MAN GROWLS]
You're gonna love it here.
The first cut
won't hurt at all
The second only
makes you wonder
The third will have
you on your knees
You start bleeding,
I start screaming
The first cut
won't hurt at all
The second only
makes you...
- [RECORD SCRATCHES] - Who
do you think you've been?
Um, it's funny.
I get flashes of...
BOTH: Cleopatra.
How did you know?
A wild guess.
So you have visions?
Yes, I keep seeing, um...
this man.
It's like we're
meant to be together,
but we keep getting
separated by...
- TAROT READER: By?
- AGNES: I don't know.
Bad luck?
TAROT READER: If you
are reincarnated,
it's because there's
something you're missing.
- Missing?
- Mm-hmm.
Sometimes it takes several
lifetimes, that's all.
Ha!
Look at that.
The Fool.
What does it mean?
Now, look, I would love
to hang around chatting,
but I'm cooking a chicken, so...
Here's the 300 dollars.
- And, I just want to ask...
- Keep going.
Hang on a minute, erm,
what about my missing part?
How do I find it?
It's like cooking a
chicken, you can't rush it.
You've got all of
eternity, love.
- That can't be it.
- Uh!
Keep your knickers on!
- [SHE SIGHS]
- [DOOR OPENS]
I really don't want to...
not for another hundred years.
[MUSIC RESUMES] The first
cut won't hurt at all
[THEY CHUCKLE]
The second only
makes you wonder
The third will have
you on your knees
[HE GROANS]
You f*ck' b*tch.
[WIND GUSTS]
[LOW GROWLING]
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
I have some time for you
It's a mystery
Why we're torn in two
- It's a mystery
- New Romantic.
I remember it the
first time around.
I will find you.
Seems like eternity
Just to be with you
To be with you, oh!
We play the game
We dance the dance
Just one more step
in our romance
We play the game
We dance the dance
I stole your heart
You took the chance
'Twas love and death
At our first glance
And even though we
both must part...
"Alex's fears and favourites.
"Greatest fear, being shot.
"My favourite food, hot dogs.
"My most hated food...
"mushrooms."
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [DOOR BELL JINGLES]
Alex!
Alex!
Alex?
Alex!
Alex!
[HE VOCALISES]
Alex!
- Oh!
- [TIN CLATTERS]
[VOCALISING CONTINUES]
- [MUSIC STOPS SUDDENLY]
- [LIGHTER FLICKS]
ALEXANDER: Have
you got the time?
[SHE GASPS]
[MUSIC BOX TUNE PLAYS]
Love is pain.
[ECHOING SCREAM]
[SHE GROANS]
- [CROWD CHANTS IN DISTANCE]
- Agnes?
Agnes!
Agnes!
[SHE GASPS]
I haven't seen you for ages.
Where've you been?
Oh, I've been...
changing my fate.
Really?
Looks like you've just...
I dunno, had a perm?
D'you think it makes me
look like Barry Gibb?
I'm not sure who that is.
Aslan?
No.
The Cowardly Lion.
Yeah. Makes you look
like the Cowardly Lion.
[SHE SIGHS]
Do you think you'd recognise me?
If you hadn't seen me for
a really, really long time?
Like 200 years?
Come on.
The sisterhood can
carry on without me.
What's happened to your legs?
AGNES: Aerobics.
MEG: Right...
AGNES: If you do it regularly
enough, you ache all over.
[COUPLE ARGUING IN DISTANCE]
Court order?
Yeah, do you want some whisky?
- Um, no.
- [DOOR OPENS]
Oh, um...
I don't have it this
week either, sorry.
[SHE SIGHS]
Be down in a minute.
I'll be down in a minute.
[DOOR SHUTS]
- Who was that?
- That's my landlord.
He's very friendly.
Agnes...
Agnes?
Oh, my... it's like a
serial k*ller's mood board.
I thought you'd come
here to find a man?
I did. This man.
- Alex Phoenix?
- Yeah.
- The rock star?
- Yeah. I'm in love with him.
It's Alex Phoenix.
Every woman in the world
is in love with him.
Well, it's hard to
explain to a feminist.
Agnes...
life isn't a dress rehearsal!
Isn't it?
We've got history.
You sound like a lunatic.
I'm an incurable romantic.
You're an incurable stalker!
We're meant to be together.
It's just that something
always gets in the way, like...
the French Revolution.
Have you ever felt like...
you knew somebody?
Down to every hair
on their skin?
Like you just knew them?
And they knew you.
And you were the only two people in the
world who could understand each other?
It's love, Meg.
In its purest form.
It's eternal.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
Er, I had regression
therapy once.
There's a strong
chance that I was...
BOTH: Cleopatra.
Yeah, me too.
We can't both have
been Cleopatra.
I don't know, there might
have been some kind of
timeshare arrangement.
Look, you should see someone.
Everyone in New
York sees a shrink.
It's practically the law.
He sends me messages, Meg.
This is making you unhappy.
What, so I should
just give him up?
Have you been harassing him?
You just don't
understand love, Meg!
Agnes, it is never
going to happen!
Agnes...
I've been learning.
It's the 20th century.
There is another way.
Oh...
I'd rather be a
sl*ve than a l*sbian.
Well, don't expect
any help from me.
- Karma's a b*tch.
- So are you.
[DOOR SHUTS]
I'm gonna make it real.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[CAMERA CLICKS]
[HORSE NEIGHING ECHOES]
[HORN HONKS]
- Dumb b*tch, it's raining!
- Sorry!
Sorry!
[WOMEN SQUEAL]
[EXCITED CHATTER]
WOMEN: Alex!
AGNES: Alex!
Alex! [THEY SCREAM]
[SHE GASPS]
[WOMEN SCREAM]
[THEY SCREAM] Alex!
Love you! Love you!
[THEY SCREAM]
No!
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
[WOMAN CHOKES]
- [STEAM SIZZLES]
- Let it go.
Let it go. Let it go.
[WOMAN GROANS]
[SHE YELLS]
[WOMAN SOBS]
Yes, I understand.
OK.
Very soon.
[BIRD CHIRPS]
[BIRD SINGS]
SCIPIO: Hey.
Scipio Barnes.
Alex's manager.
Oh, I'm Agnes. From
Poppers magazine.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
Thanks for agreeing to meet.
[ALEX VOCALISES ON TV]
I'm gonna put you
out of your misery.
- Oh dear.
- I called Poppers
and they've never
even heard of you.
But ten out of ten for effort.
Let's see how you
are at execution.
What?
"Blood alone moves the
wheels of history."
[g*nshots ON TV]
REPORTER: Pop music was reeling
tonight, following the senseless k*lling
of one of its brightest stars.
The British rock star who is
currently residing in New York
was shot dead by
a single b*llet.
The victim was taken
to Roosevelt hospital
where he was pronounced dead.
Just to think that only
a stone's throw away
is Central Park Zoo
where, as we speak,
the baby gorillas and
llamas are sleeping soundly
unaware of the manmade
mayhem just metres away.
Not now...
And if you've just joined us,
the pop star John Lennon
has been m*rder*d.
Oh!
It's just John Lennon!
It's OK, it's just John Lennon.
False alarm. Nothing
to worry about.
But hey, now his
record's gonna sell.
Is it?
Lennon was famous,
but now? He's immortal.
You know this guy?
[LOW GROWLING]
No.
I don't know him from Adam.
Excuse me? Would you give this gentleman
my pastrami sandwich? Thank you.
Now, observe.
This mongrel was once
king of the world.
Now he's just some
sad, stinking loser.
Something or someone
destroyed him.
What do you mean by that?
Every dog has his day.
[GROWLING OUTSIDE]
Maybe one day, I won't be
some stupid, limey
m*therf*cker's personal a*s rag.
Finessing their day,
taking no credit,
writing the g*dd*mn songs,
fantasising about, can you
choke a man on his own sick?
You think it's possible?
Are you talking about Alex?
Yes, I'm talking
about... Alex!
That man is arrogant, vain,
he's a fraud and a thief.
He'll probably try and sleep
with you after five minutes.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- You're a fan.
- [SHE CHUCKLES]
No.
No!
No.
No, no, no...
No.
No.
No.
No. No.
No.
I think, um...
I think he's a...
a w*nk*r.
[SCIPIO LAUGHS]
Well, feel free to
assassinate him.
What?
In the piece.
He could probably do with
being taken down a peg or two.
Here.
Backstage passes?
Best place to make 'em.
Don't f*ck it up.
What if I can't help it?
There's a first
time for everyone.
And a second.
And a third.
[HE CHUCKLES]
Crazy lady.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
I'm really... just
quite boringly normal.
[BIRD CHIRPS]
[SCIPIO LAUGHS]
You crazy lady.
[HE LAUGHS]
[HOOVES RUMBLING]
- [SHE SCREAMS]
- [WHEEL SLICES]
[SHE SCREAMS]
Oh, my God!
- Ah!
- [THUD ON WINDOW]
For the last time,
I don't have your
f*cking poodle!
- I'm doomed!
- Oh.
It's you.
Doomed!
Yeah.
I never get him! I die!
Every time!
I meet my soulmate...
I save his life.
Then my head comes off.
It's very painful!
And the blood!
I know, it's a mess. Ugh!
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, I thought you'd find out,
you know, in your own time.
You're supposed to help me!
I'm not Glinda the
f*cking Good, honey.
Why can't I love
him without dying?
You don't have to
save him, honey.
I would rather die
than live without him!
[HE LAUGHS] Fine,
carry on then.
W-wait!
What do I have to do?
To live.
To live?
Make him kiss me, or...
Anything else?
Look, love. You die...
so he doesn't have to.
Maybe it's time to
turn the tables.
- [VASE SMASHES]
- f*ck!
[BIRD CHIRPS]
Maybe you are crazy.
[BIRD SINGS]
Gemini. Rhododendrons.
Hot dogs. Being
shot. Mushrooms.
[SHE LAUGHS]
[BIRD SINGS]
I'm coming.
[MUSIC: "SOVAY"
TRAD. FOLKSONG]
[SWORDS CLASH, MEN CHATTER]
[BIRD CHIRPS]
Sovay, Sovay all on a day
She dressed herself
in man's array
As she puts her
pistols all by her side
To meet her true love
To meet her true
love away she rides
[LANDLORD GRUNTS]
Streaker.
Just a few beans, as are my dues
from a flashman
goatish jackanapes.
[HE GROWLS]
[MUSIC FADES]
I have such time for you
It's a mystery
Why we're torn in two
It's a history
I can see it now
A heart split in two
Seems like eternity
Just to be with you
To be with you, oh!
We play the game
We dance the dance
Just one more step
in our romance
We play the game
We dance the dance
I stole your heart
You took the chance
'Twas love and death
At our first glance
And even though
we both must part
I'll live on in
your eternal heart
[CROWD SCREAMS]
Why do you run?
Why do you hide?
Our eternal flame
can't be denied
Come with me
[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]
[MUSIC CONTINUES MUFFLED]
[WOMAN GIGGLES]
[ALEX VOCALISES ON STAGE]
[VOCALISING CONTINUES]
[SHE COUGHS] Oh...
[SHE PUFFS]
- [SHE KNOCKS]
- [MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
[CROWD CHATTERS IN DISTANCE]
[DOOR OPENS]
[ALEX SNIFFS] Yeah, come in.
[HE SNIFFS AND SIGHS]
I had bad korma.
Karma?
No. Korma.
Prawn korma. Been
shittin' all day.
I've been waiting a long time.
Yeah, well, I'm sorry about that
but I've been jamming
with Iggy Poop,
know what I mean?
Look, do you want a drink?
Hot dog!
Your favourite food.
According to Poppers
July issue 1980.
I don't write that sh*t.
Scipio does. My manager.
Can we make this brief?
I've got the rest of
my life to get on with.
Do you recognise me?
Are you, um...
Did you...
Were you...
No.
I-I've got a terrible memory.
You know, for faces
and names and events.
I don't even remember
what I did last night.
We've met before.
In past lives.
Is this a joke?
We met in Scotland in the 1600s.
You were an ill*gal preacher.
I saved you from
death, but then I died.
Then we met again in 1793,
but we were thwarted
by my husband.
And I got syphilis,
which was off-putting.
Then I saw you again
in Victorian times.
I chased after you, but my head
got squashed off by a carriage.
Then there's some
stuff about Cleopatra.
But fate keeps on
throwing us together.
Is this ringing any bells?
No.
Alex...
you're the love of my lives.
You're the one that's
been sending me letters.
It's been five minutes, you can
have sex with me now if you want?
The police told
you to stay away.
We're meant to be together.
I don't know what
more I can say.
Mushrooms.
[DISTORTED SOUND]
[WHIMPERING]
You're suffering from a
condition called erotomania.
You think I'm sending
you messages in my songs
but I'm not.
You're my stalker.
It's all in your head.
- It's all in your head.
- It's all in your head.
- It's all in your head.
- It's all in your head.
- It's all in your head.
- It's all in your head...
You always say that.
This...
This is proof.
These are just fantasies, Agnes.
I'm not who you think I am.
I wish I was.
But my records are down.
I'm a failure, a piece of sh*t.
Forgettable.
I wish I could forget you.
You never give up, do you?
Amazing.
Maybe you're the headline
and I'm just the footnote.
You're a god.
Why do you let me
live in your head?
Is this my only
shot at immortality?
In the obsessive mind of
one sad, aging groupie?
Oh, sh*t.
My career's over.
- You're just in denial.
- [g*n c*ck]
Oh, sh*t. Scipio!
Blood alone moves the
wheels of history.
Scipio!
f*ck... please.
God, I don't want to die!
Neither do I, but it
is kind of your turn.
Plus it doesn't hurt that much.
That's a lie. It does
really, really hurt.
But you'll get over it.
Scipio! Get the f*ck in here!
[HE KNOCKS]
Letting this mad b*tch
into my dressing room!
Are you trying to get me k*lled?
Are you trying to get me k*lled?
Nah, your career's
on the downturn.
Another two years, you'll
be forming Phantom Postcard.
- Who the f*ck are they?
- Exactly.
What?
f*ck you, you c**t!
I'm on the up!
Agnes.
If you really love him,
make him immortal.
You're a revolutionary.
AGNES: No.
I'm just a fan.
[SHE SIGHS]
Would you mind, um...
signing this?
Um...
and, yeah, I've
got a pen as well.
If you could write, "To Agnes,
"my greatest fan,"
um, "Love forever, Alex."
And just put a kiss there.
Thank you. You
can keep the pen.
[HE SIGHS]
[DOOR CREAKS AND SLAMS]
[LOW RUMBLING]
[ANIMALISTIC GROWLING]
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[SHE GASPS]
[WOLVES GROWL]
AGNES [VO]: I'm the
one chasing him.
I'm always chasing him.
Through time...
[SHE LAUGHS]
I... do... not...
want... thee.
He's Beauty...
and I'm the Beast.
- Limerence.
- Bless you.
Beautiful word, isn't it?
A state of infatuation
where intrusive fantasies
cannibalise the mind.
And that's what I've had?
MARION: I'd say so.
Since you first clapped
eyes on your... rock star.
Chartbreakers.
I remember it vividly.
You started to believe he was
singing to you. Only to you.
And then you began to expand
the fantasy beyond that frame
and into other scenarios.
It was historical fantasies.
Ideas I got...
From films, books, music videos?
I'm sure many of them
were far-fetched? Silly?
They were beautiful.
Well...
They were mine.
You formed dreams
to protect yourself
then chose someone who
would never love you
so you could stay in them.
f*ck.
It felt so real.
It was all you, Agnes!
- What a twat.
- Yes!
But...
you didn't die this
time, did you? You lived!
Some life.
Yes, life is drab and
difficult and disappointing.
But it's real.
Can I wake up now?
Yes. You can wake up, Agnes.
The dream is over.
Help yourself to cookies!
[SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE]
Projection!
We often pursue
people who hate us
because we hate ourselves.
When the best you can hope for
is someone with his own teeth
and a driving licence.
That's the end for today.
Please, please...
stack the chairs like
considerate, normal human beings.
[CHAIRS SCRAPE]
I can smell fish,
can you smell fish?
[SHE SNIFFS]
- [BIRD CHIRPS]
- Find your fortune.
[BIRD SINGS]
- I'm so embarrassed, Meg.
- Agnes, it's OK to have dreams!
That's who you are.
Take away the fantasies,
you've just got a madwoman
who's unemployed and
in a mountain of debt.
What about reincarnation?
I was never Cleopatra.
I wish I was.
That's sad.
Is it?
It's living.
I'd love it if there was some...
divine benevolent
force of eternal love
in the universe,
ready to engulf me in
its protective glow.
But I suspect there's
just sh1tting and dying
and not much else.
Make the best of it.
- How's Alex...
- Shh!
I'm not supposed to mention
his name, I'm on a detox.
Oh, OK.
I mean, it never
would've worked out.
There was no spark.
He got a restraining order?
Yeah, technically,
there is that as well.
But I will always love him, Meg.
There's nothing I
can do about it.
He lives immortal in my head.
It's the least I can do for him.
I set the canary free though.
- You did?
- Yeah.
Oh, no, no. Canaries
can't survive in the wild.
They starve, or get eaten.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Uh, Agnes?
Listen, there's something I've
been meaning to tell you...
Meg.
You're the only person
who ever cares, and...
I always push you away.
But I've broken the cycle.
I know, but you can
get another one.
I'm getting married.
What?
Who to?
He saved my life, Meg.
[SHE LAUGHS INCREDULOUSLY]
Do you love him?
He's got his own teeth
and a driving licence.
And he never leaves me alone!
That's not love, Agnes.
You only live once, Meg.
Hey! Hi!
There he is! Come
and meet him.
This is my fianc.
- Aww.
- This is Meg!
Hey, Meg. Aww!
She's mine now. [HE LAUGHS]
Aww. Ooh, watch out.
Oh.
I'm sorry...
- I'll get more on you!
- [THEY LAUGH]
Hey! Don't you dare!
Don't you f*cking dare.
[SHE LAUGHS]
[HE GROWLS]
[THROAT SINGING]
[ANIMALISTIC GROWLING]
PRIEST: Ladies and gentlemen,
we are gathered here today
to witness the union of this man
- and this woman.
- [SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE]
George and Agnes
will be joined in
holy matrimony.
[THROAT SINGING]
- [HE SNARLS]
- [WHISTLING SOUND]
[COIN RATTLING]
GEORGE: She is reborn!
As good as new.
Magic!
- [GONG RINGS]
- [APPLAUSE]
[GEORGE CHUCKLES]
Oh!
[HE CHUCKLES]
Delicious!
And now, for my next trick...
The Wheel of Doom!
[MAN IN AUDIENCE COUGHS]
[RUMBLING]
[AIR RAID SIREN WAILS]
[DISTANT EXPLOSIONS BOOM]
You fustiluggs mopsey...
[DISTANT EXPLOSIONS BOOM]
'Ere!
Agnes!
[BIRD CHIRPS]
She survived.
Agnes.
Hey.
I'm sorry, George.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[BIRD SINGS]
GEORGE: Agnes.
Agnes!
Agnes!
My God...
I've gotta get out of here.
Where's the door?
George...
you don't have to do this.
I kinda do.
I don't know why.
Till death do us part!
[HE GRUNTS]
[KNIFE SLICES]
No one ever asks me what I want.
Maybe I want to be a
better, more caring person
but no one ever takes the time!
[HE CHUCKLES]
Stop it!
[SHE WHISTLES]
- [DOG SNEEZES]
- What?
I just want freedom, George.
To be who I want to be.
And I want you to be
who you want to be.
Please, let me go.
OK.
OK.
Can I have this one?
- OK.
- OK.
I love you.
[SHE GROANS WEAKLY]
Agnes?
Agnes?
Say you believe.
In what?
In reincarnation.
I believe.
Then I'll see you again.
[STIRRING MUSIC]
[RUMBLING]
- [LOUD SNAP]
- Oh!
Oh...
f*cking hell, don't do that.
Sorry.
Look at this.
Look at that.
- Aww!
- That's you.
AGNES: Oh, you did that? Aww.
SCIPIO: Good, aren't I?
Yeah, you're an
amazing... artist.
Thank you.
Am I dying?
Well...
either your cells are
switching off, one by one...
[POPPING NOISE]
and this is one final,
thrilling hallucination
or...
reincarnation is real.
Your fantasies are real.
Either way...
that was your last life.
That's it.
Come on.
[THROAT SINGING]
Where are we going?
You are going to merge
into the consciousness.
Love. Acceptance.
You're gonna love it.
- It's what you wanted.
- Uh, no.
I... hang on.
I was chasing Alex
because he had something
that I wanted.
That I needed.
I have ambitions, you know.
Me. Dreams. Like
everyone else.
Yeah, but he...
was my god.
This...
I... I can't.
I'm just here,
doing this menial...
stuff, it's humiliating.
So rebel against it.
[HE SCOFFS] What?
I'm my own god.
Agnes.
- I'm a revolutionary.
- Agnes.
Agnes!
Agnes! [VOICE ECHOES]
[AGNES GASPS]
I know what I have to do.
[SHE GROANS]
[CROWD JEERS AND BOOS]
You're breaking my
heart, you f*ck.
[MIC FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
[CROWD BOOS]
[CROWD WHISTLES]
WOMAN IN CROWD: Loser!
Alex.
[CROWD NOISE FADES]
I'm gonna set us free.
- [g*nsh*t]
- [CROWD GASPS]
- [CAMERA CLICKS]
- [BODIES THUD]
[WOMAN IN CROWD GASPS]
[WARBLING]
[RUMBLING]
It's time.
I've searched time for you
It's a mystery
Why we're torn in two
It's our history
I can see it now
A heart split in two
Seems like eternity
Just to be with you
And even though
We both must part
I'll live on in
your eternal heart
[THEY YELL]
[HELICOPTERS WHIR]
[THEY YELL]
[SHE YELLS]
I love you.
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Timestalker (2024)
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Random Movies that just don't fit anywhere else yet. Miscellaneous Movie Collection.
Random Movies that just don't fit anywhere else yet. Miscellaneous Movie Collection.