02x05 - Blood Bargain

[bunniefuu]

["Alfred Hitchcock" theme music]

- Good evening.

May I check to see if
there's something loose

under your bonnet?

I would suggest that you add a
quart

before it's too late.

An automobile figures in
tonight's play,

which is the story of a man

with an unpleasant job to
perform.

One which he did not wish to do.

A situation which I understand
perfectly.

But, duty is duty.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the first commercial.

[mysterious music]

[lighthearted music]

- What took you so long?

Harney said you'd be on the two
o'clock.

I've been hanging around
this lousy terminal an hour.

- A gypsy told me never
to take a two o'clock bus.

- They didn't tell me you
were a comedian, Derry.

- What did they tell you about
me?

- Harney's waiting.

Car's across the street.

[dramatic music]

[knocking]

Harney in there?

[mysterious music]

[knocking]

- [Man] Wait a minute.

Who is it?

- It's Earl.

- It's about time you got here.

- It wasn't my fault, Mr.
Harney.

He didn't show up until four
o'clock.

- What's the idea?

I hire somebody, I expect
them to follow orders.

- He's a real wiseguy, Mr.
Harney.

A real comedian.

- All right, Earl, shut up.

- I told you we didn't have to
go outside

the organization, Mr. Harney.

I could handle it for you.

- I said shut up!

- I hate these family quarrels.

Do we talk business now
or do I come back later?

- We talk now.

- Give the kid a quarter
and send him to the movies.

- Beat it, Earl.

[door slams]

All right, Derry.

Let's talk.

- My price is three grand for
the hit.

I do clean work, I pick
my own time and place,

and I keep my clients out of it.

Okay with you?

- Yeah, that's fine with me.

The mark's a guy named Eddie
Breech.

- What do you got against him?

- [Harney] Since when
is that your business?

- Okay.

- I want to see the seventh
race.

- [Announcer] The horses
are coming on the track.

January Gal is in first position

with Tommy Harkness up, wearing
number...

- Still got about five minutes.

Eddie Breech used to work for
me.

Talking about the best slice
of territory in the city.

His receipts were like five
grand a week.

Only they started to fall.

Four grand one week, two grand
the next.

The whole thing smelled bad.

So I took a look into Eddie's
activities.

I found out he was making book
on his own.

He was setting up his own shop.

- You mean he's a crook?

That makes me feel a lot better.

I don't like crooks.

Do you, Mr. Harney?

- Maybe Earl was right.

You're a comedian, huh?

- We can all use a laugh, can't
we?

- I'll laugh.

I'll laugh when Eddie Breech

has dirt in his mouth.

That's what I want, Derry,

and that's what I'm paying you
for.

Understand?

[phone rings]

Hello.

Yeah, sure, honey.

No, I didn't forget. [chuckles]

What kind of a father would I be

forgetting my kid's big night?

[laughing]

Yeah?

She really looks cute, eh?

[laughing]

No kidding?

Like a real angel.

With wings and everything?

[laughing]

Look, honey.

I'll leave the office
in about half an hour.

Yeah, you go on over to the
school

and save us a couple of good
seats.

Okay, honey.

Earl will finger Breech
for you this afternoon.

See if you can make the job
fast,

and see that I'm kept out of it.

That's all, Derry.

[dramatic music]

[snaps]

- Get a good picture?

Well, how about it?

Did you get a good look at
Breech?

- Yeah, fine.

How come Breech married a
cr*pple?

- He didn't.

- [Derry] There's no kiddy
car they're pushing around.

- The dame was in one
piece when he married her.

It was all his fault what
happened to her.

They got in an argument one day

and he belted her.

Fell down a flight of stairs

and busted something in her
back.

- Oh, he sounds like a real nice
guy.

Would be a pleasure to
do business with him.

- Yeah, well, don't forget
who you're doing it for.

Harney's paying for
this job, not the dame.

[dramatic music]

- For her, I'd do it for love.

[cozy jazz music]

[laughing]

- Cheers.

- Excuse me, Mr. Breech.

You're wanted on the telephone.

- Oh.

Why, thank you.

Excuse me, darling.

- Mhm.

- Thank you.

- [Denny] What do you want to
play?

- D5.

[romantic music]

- That's an old one.

- I used to dance to it years
ago.

[romantic music]

- What's the idea?

- Just what you think it
is, pal, and it's loaded.

- Look, I haven't even
got five bucks on me.

- What's the matter, Eddie?

They shut down the tracks?

- Harney sent you, huh?

- Three guesses.

- You gonna k*ll me?

- That's one guess.

Not bad either.

- Look, let's talk a little
deal.

I'll pay you twice what he's
paying you.

Just tell me how much, just tell
me!

- How do you know Harney sent
me?

Maybe it was your wife.

- You're crazy.

- Why not?

- You're crazy.

Connie wouldn't do that, she
needs me.

- Needs you for what?

To belt her again?

You must be a real brave
boy, slugging a woman.

Takes real guts.

- Look, I'm trying to make it up
to her.

That's why I needed that dough.

I'd cheat Harney or my own
grandmother

if it helped Connie.

- All right, let's hear about
it.

How are you helping her?

- What's this to you?

- How are you helping your wife?

This doctor you're
taking to her every week,

did he say anything will be done
for her?

Well, tell me.

Can anything be done for her?

- No, he never said that.

Spinal column's all busted up.

All he could do is make her
comfortable.

Well, don't you think
I feel lousy about it?

It was all my fault, but I
didn't mean it!

- Maybe she'd be better off
without you.

- Maybe she would.

- All right, let's go.

- Where?

- Up to your place, let's go.

[dramatic music]

[lighthearted music]

- Eddie.

- Hi, baby.

I decided not to go downtown,

I ran into an old friend
and we got to talking.

- My name is Derry, Mrs. Breech.

Jim Derry.

- Yes.

You were the man in the
bar the other evening.

- Sorry to bust in on you like
this.

- Well, I'm glad you did, I
like to meet Eddie's friends,

we don't entertain very much.

- Nice apartment you got.

- Thank you.

Can I get you a drink?

Eddie says I'm the fastest
rolling bartender in town.

- No thanks, I don't drink.

- Not on the job, right, Derry?

- Well, let me get you
something.

I'm grateful that you brought
Eddie home

from that business of his.

He stays out late so many
nights.

I was looking forward to
a rather lonely evening.

- I'm sorry baby, you
know I had to go out.

- Well, that's all right.

You're home now, darling.

Would you sit down, Mr. Derry?

It isn't often I have a chance

to talk to one of Eddie's
friends.

- He's no friend of mine.

I've never met him before in my
life.

Why don't you tell her
who you work for, Derry?

- At the moment I work for
a man named Rupert Harney.

- What do you want from us?

- I want us to sit down and have
a talk.

- I'm already sitting down, Mr.
Derry.

- Rupert Harney isn't very
pleased

with your husband, Mrs. Breech.

He thinks he cheated him.

Cheated him out of a lot of
money.

- I'm sure that's not true.

- I didn't cheat him.

I just went into business for
myself.

I've got a right to go
into business for myself.

- Not with Harney's clientele.

Harney's a bad loser.

He's sore.

And he's not just sore, he's
scared.

He's worried that if
Eddie gets away with this,

he's going to set a bad
precedent,

so he only knows one
remedy for the situation.

Tonight, this could've been it.

- He's a professional k*ller,
Connie.

He's come here to k*ll me.

- No, he hasn't.

You don't look like a
stupid man, Mr. Derry.

If you were gonna k*ll Eddie,

you would have by now.

Why haven't you?

- I'll tell you why he hasn't.

He wants to talk a little deal.

He wants me to pay him for
that Harney's paying him.

- You jerk.

Do you think it's that easy?

Do you think Harney will be
satisfied

if I let you live?

If I walk off this job,
somebody else walks in.

This isn't the only g*n in the
world.

- He's right, Eddie.

Maybe if he gave the money back.

- Well, how about that, Eddie?

- There's nothing to give back.

Do you think money stands
still in this business?

We gotta get out of town, maybe
Mexico.

- That's no good.

Harney won't be satisfied that
easy,

it means too much to him.

- Well I'm not staying here,

I gotta get away, I tell you.

As far away as--

- Eddie.

- Both of us, baby.

I meant both of us.

Look, you always wanted to go to
Mexico.

Remember how you used to talk
about it?

- Maybe Mr. Derry can tell us
what to do.

- Him?

Why should he, what does he
care?

- Don't ask me for any answers.

- But there has to be one.

Look, you'll need one now too,
don't you?

If you don't finish your
assignment,

Mr. Harney won't like that.

What did you say about him?

What he's sore, he only has one
remedy?

He has people m*rder*d.

- Look, don't expect too much
from me.

I didn't k*ll your husband,

what more do you want?

- There has to be more.

Things can't stay the way they
are

for either one of you.

All right.

Go ahead, k*ll him.

You might as well.

He's as good as dead anyway.

- All right, I'll see what I can
do.

Give me some time to think about
it.

Don't do anything stupid,

and don't leave this apartment.

I'll be in touch as soon as I
can.

[dramatic music]

[ominous music]

Well, it won't be easy.

Understand?

But there is a way.

It's the only way I can think of

that will satisfy Harney.

He's not gonna settle for a
disappearance,

he's gonna want a body.

- How's that possible?

- Well, it's gonna take a little
doing,

but I think I can swing it.

There's gonna be some expenses.

- What kind of expenses?

- $1,000 in cash and your car.

There will be some other things
later on.

I want you to get some
standby reservations.

Mexico, Rio, any place you want.

And don't leave this apartment

under any conditions.

- I gotta go out.

I got business.

- You can't risk it.

Harney hired me to take care of
you,

but that doesn't mean some other
hood

wouldn't try to beat me to it.

There's a kid named Earl.

- Yeah, yeah, I know Earl.

He's a punk.

- Just the kind of punk

that might try sh**ting you in
the back.

- Do as he says, Eddie.

- But I gotta go out.

We'll need dough if we're
gonna head toward Mexico.

I have to make collections.

- Couldn't you get him a g*n?

To protect himself?

- I never carry one.

- [Connie] Just 'til we leave
town.

- I'll see what I can do.

[melancholic music]

I'll call you.

- Mr. Derry.

Why are you doing this for
Eddie?

- 'Cause he's such a regular
fella.

- Figaro Mortuary.

- Fig.

How's business these days?

Kinda dead?

- [Figaro] Very funny,
who is this comedian?

- This is Jim, Fig.

Jim Derry.

- What are you doing back in
town?

You haven't been around here for


- I'm here on business, strictly
business.

I want to make a purchase.

- [Joe] What kind of a purchase?

- You're the only store in town

that has what I want.

I want to buy a corpse.

[dramatic music]

- You have now reached
the middle of our program.

If you are considering quitting,

I must tell you that it will
take you

just as long to go back
to where you came in

as it will to continue to the
end.

So you might as well go ahead

after this word from your local
station.

[dramatic music]

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

- [Joe] Derry?

- Yeah.

- This is Joe Figaro.

I may have rocks in my head for
doing it,

but I got what you want.

- [Jim] That's great.

Did you find me the right size?

- He's about six feet, weighs


Heart case.

He's got a mustache, you
want me to shave it off?

- Doesn't matter.

What time can I take delivery?

- [Joe] Tonight, around 11.

- All right, fine.

I'll bring my car around the
back of the place around 11.

[buzzer rings]

- Who is it?

- [Jim] It's me, Jim Derry.

- Come on in, the door's open.

Eddie's not here.

- I thought I told him not
to leave the apartment.

- He had to go out, he
had to get some money.

- You want me to come back
later?

- No.

It's wonderful, how many
people owe Eddie money.

He's almost like a banker.

- I thought he was just a
bookie.

- Oh, he hates that work,
bookie.

Whenever he sees his mother,

he tells her he's an accountant.

She's a sweet old lady,
she knows the truth

but she never lets on.

- How about you?

You know the truth?

- I've never had any
illusions about Eddie.

Maybe when I was first married.

Easy to have illusions
when you're first married

and you have a young, straight
spine.

Want a drink?

You don't drink.

- No thanks.

- Yeah, I guess that's essential

in your line of work.

Not in mine.

- Does he leave you alone a lot?

That banker husband of yours.

Does he leave you alone a lot?

- Oh, Eddie's a very busy man.

He doesn't keep normal
hours like other people.

I don't suppose you do either,
hm?

- We're talking about Eddie.

- You know, you're
awful curious about him.

Why?

You trying to decide whether
he's worth saving or not?

- I've already decided that,
haven't I?

- You know about Eddie and me?

About the accident?

- I heard some.

- It was all his fault.

- Something like that.

- Yeah, well.

He had been working late
the night that it happened.

I waited up for him.

I was already at the top of the
stairs,

already with an argument.

Said some pretty nasty things.

So did he.

He grabbed me and started
shaking me.

I lost my balance.

Don't think he hasn't suffered
for it,

he's done everything he could

to make it up for me,

he just can't change me, that's
all.

They still look pretty good,
don't they?

I used to be rather proud of
them.

I have my own theory, Mr. Derry,

about why you're helping us.

- You do?

- I've been this way for over a
year now.

I've become an expert at pity.

I can spot pity a mile away.

- You think that's my reason,
huh?

- It's everybody's reason.

That's all anybody gives me
these days,

that's all they have to give me.

- You're wrong about me.

I got nothing to do with pity.

It's out of my line.

- Yeah. [laughs]

Yeah, I guess it would have
to be in your profession.

[chuckling]

Is that pay good?

- Not bad.

- [Connie] Find your work
satisfying?

- I never hurt anybody
that didn't deserve it.

[chuckling]

- You do make moral judgments.

You think before you k*ll, huh?

[chuckling]

- Maybe I better go.

- Oh.

No, I didn't mean what I said,
don't go.

- Sorry I'm late, baby.

All right, what's happening?

- It's all set.

You'll be a dead man by tomorrow
morning.

You're gonna leave town as
soon as you get a plane.

- There's a plane leaving for
Mexico City

at 4:00 tomorrow afternoon.

We've got standby reservations.

- You better confirm them.

- What's this gonna cost
me, what you're doing?

- Like I told you, $1000 in
cash.

$500 for me, $500 for a friend.

- And what do you want
with my car of mine?

- You won't need it in
Mexico, they got donkeys.

- How do I know you're on the
level?

- Eddie, we've gotta trust him.

- If you don't like my
proposition,

you can take your chances with
Harney.

- All right, what else do you
want?

- I'll need your wallet, your
watch,

any other jewelry you carry.

That wedding ring, is that
inscribed?

- Yeah.

- Let's have it.

Eddie and Connie, September


Good.

- What about the body?

- That's my worry.

I'm sorry about the ring, Mrs.
Breech,

but we've got to make this look
good.

And I want you to get out of
town

as fast as you can.

When that body is found,

you're supposed to be it.

I don't want you hanging around

making me out a liar.

[chuckling]

- That's right.

You don't want to lose that
dough, do ya?

The money Harney's paying you.

- [Connie] Eddie.

- I got that g*n you wanted.

You know how to handle one of
these?

- I can handle it.

It's a Farington .38.

There are four b*ll*ts in the
cylinder.

I'll take that grand now, Eddie.

And the car keys.

- Hello, Mr. Derry.

I've been waiting for you.

- Sorry I can't invite you in,
Earl.

The place is such a mess,

you know how it is.

- This ain't a social call.

Now, Mr. Harney wanted
me to give you a message.

- Yeah?

- Mr. Harney ain't too happy

with the way things are going.

Mr. Harney said he sort of
expected

a little more action by now.

- You go tell Mr. Harney
to read the contract again.

I pick my own time and place,

it says so right in the small
print.

- I thought you were supposed to
be a pro.

I could've had Eddie Breech
knocked off

and buried days ago.

- I'm sure you could.

- I don't know why Harney had
to go and get you three grand.

Whew.

I would've done it for half that
money.

- You would've done it for
laughs, Earl.

- Yeah, maybe I would.

- Go on home, Earl, I'm tired.

- You know...

I had to show Mr. Harney
he didn't need you.

I had to go take care
of Eddie Breech myself.

- Mr. Harney wouldn't like that.

You're liable to get a spanking.

- You're pretty fresh, you know
that?

What makes you so special?

I got as much hardware as you.

See what I mean?

- Have you ever fired that
thing, Earl?

- You think I don't know how?

[suspenseful music]

- Ow!

- Pick it up.

Now go home.

- Here's the merchandise, Derry.

He's all dressed.

- Well, he's not very pretty.

- You didn't give me any time

to do cosmetic work.

Besides, what's the difference?

- You're right, Fig.

For this guy, it makes
no difference at all.

[dramatic music]

All right, come on, let's get
him outside.

[dramatic music]

[expl*si*n booms]

[lighthearted music]

- Don't they teach you to knock?

- What's the matter, Mr. Harney?

You look like a man with
problems.

- Look, I'll call you back.

Cops just picked up Earl
on an old as*ault charge.

That kid's more trouble than
he's worth.

- I could've told you that long
ago.

Well, there's one problem
you won't have anymore.

- You mean Eddie Breech?

- [Jim] You won't be
hearing from him again.

- Give me the details.

- He's dead.

It's what you wanted, isn't it?

- [Harney] I want to know how.

- Well, I had Breech drive
me out in the country

out to Potter Valley Road in his
car.

After I took care of him,

I gave him and the car
a little gasoline bath.

After that, it was easy.

- You burned him.

- Too bad, it was a nice car.

I hate to ruin a good car.

- What did you do after that?

- Took a long walk.

There's a motel about an
hour and a half south,

I spent the night there.

- And you're sure it went all
right?

Nobody spotted you?

- Our work is guaranteed, Mr.
Harney.

Money back if not satisfied.

Speaking of money.

- Yeah, yeah, I know.

[dramatic music]

- Is your name James Derry?

- Yeah, that's right.

- I got a warrant for your
arrest.

- Me?

Look, you're making an mistake.

- Over here, Derry.

Hands against the car,
you know the routine.

Start the engine.

[car engine revs]

Get a load of this.

Must be payday.

You must be a pretty expensive
man, Derry.

- I sold a car for a guy.

A second hands sports job,

that's the money I got for it.

- Yeah, sure.

And I'll bet you got a copy

of the bill of sale too, haven't
you?

Put your hands behind your back.

[door slams]

- You're Jim Derry.

- That's right.

- My name's Lieutenant Geer.

- How are you?

- Did you ever use an alias,
Jimmy?

- No, why should I?

- Know a fella named Rupert
Harney?

- [Jim] Yeah, I met him once or
twice.

- What'd you talk about?

- The weather.

- Don't get fresh me with,
Derry,

I don't like it.

- We talked about horses.

Mr. Harney likes horses a lot.

- Yeah, we know about that.

Oh, we also know that he
paid your way into town

about a week ago, isn't that
right?

- I can afford my own car fare.

- He brought you here to do

a special piece of work for him.

See, Derry, there isn't a great
deal

we don't know about Rupert
Harney.

Oh, for your information, the
DA's office

has been lining up a case
against him

for the last six months.

Just your hard luck to come
into the picture right now.

- I don't know what you're
talking about, Lieutenant.

- Well, maybe I can refresh
your memory for you.

Now I'm gonna play you a little
something,

and I want you to listen
to it very, very carefully.

- [Earl] This guy Derry
arrived last Friday.

He was brought in by Harney to
knock off

a guy named Eddie Breech.

Breech once worked for Harney,

but then he got to taking
bets on his own book.

[coughing]

Excuse me.

Well, anyway, that made Harney
sore,

so he decides to k*ll him, you
know?

Derry's price for the job was
three grand.

Oh yeah, Derry's staying
a hotel called Gracy.

Harney didn't know how

he'd planned to k*ll Eddie
Breech, but...

- Now, how's that?

That's pretty accurate, isn't
it?

- That's a lot of junk,

they shouldn't make up junk like
that.

- Oh, what'd you say?

- I said it's a lot of junk.

- It was part of a
statement we got last night.

Statement made by a fella that
knows

both you and Harney.

You know who I'm talking about,
don't you?

- I don't know anything you're
saying.

[door slams]

- His name's Earl Clifford.

Now we picked up Earl,
oh, on an old charge

that could bring him
maybe 20 years in prison.

Now, Earl has turned state's
evidence

in hopes of getting a lighter
sentence.

You know Earl, don't you?

- Never heard of him.

- Aw, come on, Derry.

Help yourself, tell us the
truth.

- I'm telling you the truth.

What more do you want?

- Oh, we both know you k*lled
Eddie.

I just want a nice, clean
statement

telling me why, and for whom.

- What time you got, Lieutenant?

- It's almost 4:00.

- That's what I got too.

What's the weather like out?

- Warm and sunny.

- Nice flying weather, huh?

- [Geer] Yeah, I'd say so.

- All right, Lieutenant,

I'll tell you what you want to
know.

- Good.

- What's the chance of
getting a cup of coffee?

- Help yourself.

- Sure, I was hired to k*ll
Breech.

This guy Rupert Harney sent for
me,

gave me the contract.

I don't know why he picked me,

I never did any work like that
before.

- Oh, thanks, Jimmy.

- So I went to see Harney,

he told me the whole setup.

Seems this guy Eddie Breech
had been cheating on him,

he wanted him taken care of.

I said I'd do it.

Of course I didn't mean it.

I'm no k*ller, Lieutenant.

Look at my police record,

you won't find any convictions
for m*rder.

- No, no convictions.

- Not me.

I went straight to this guy
Breech

and told him the whole story.

Him and his wife.

She's a cr*pple, in a
wheelchair.

Well, I felt sorry for her,

felt sorry for both of them.

I told him that I
wouldn't do him any harm,

but that didn't mean they were
safe.

Harney would just get somebody
else

to take care of them.

- Oh gee, that was nice of you.

- Well, like I said,
I wanted to help them.

I told him the only thing to do

is to make it look like
Breech had been k*lled.

I said I'd arrange the whole
thing.

- And that's what you did?

- That's what I did.

I got a body.

A dead body.

From an undertaking parlor I
know.

I put the body in Breech's car,

drove out on Route Six.

Took a little turnoff
into Potter Valley Road,

make it look like the car had
cracked up.

I doused it with gasoline, set
fire to it.

You'll find Breech's watch
and ring on the body.

Maybe his wallet too, what's
left of it.

Only the body won't be Breech.

It's the whole story,
Lieutenant.

Send your boys out to Potter
Valley Road.

- Oh, we don't have to,

we already found Breech's car.

Oh, now you did all this

because you felt so sorry for
him,

isn't that right?

- Yeah, that's right.

He hurt his wife, made her a
cr*pple.

Only now he wanted to help her.

That's the reason he
was cheating on Harney,

he wanted to get money to help
his wife.

I might've done the same thing.

- Gee, you sure make it sound
like Eddie

was one sweet guy.

Too bad it isn't true.

- What do you mean?

- Well, Eddie was responsible

for his wife's injury, all
right.

He knocked her down the stairs
one night.

You know why?

- Oh yeah, some kind of
argument.

- Oh, they sure did have an
argument.

She caught him with another
woman,

a gal named Louise something or
other.

And if you think he gave her up

after that happened, you're
nuts.

He went right on cheating on his
wife.

And the fact that she had
to stay in a wheelchair

just made it easier.

But the worst part of it is that
she knew.

She knew, and there was
nothing she could do about it.

She knew and she had to sit
there

in that wheelchair and take it.

She knew, Jimmy.

And she had to sit in that
wheelchair

and let him do anything he
pleased.

Now that was your friend, Eddie
Breech.

- Well, she said she had
no illusions about him.

- [Geer] Oh, she knew everything
he was.

- All the time she was
hating him, hating his guts.

Well anyway, they're gone.

They're on their way to Mexico
City.

- Oh no, they're not.

- They took the 4:00 plane to
Mexico City.

- Oh, you're such a liar, Jimmy.

You tell a very touching story,

but you're a terrible liar.

Now I'll buy the fact that you
made

some kind of deal with Breech,

and he was gonna give you a
bunch of money

and you were gonna fake
an accident for him.

But all that time, you
were planning to collect

from both parties, weren't you?

- That's a lie, I was trying to
help him.

- Oh, were you?

Eddie Breech, 29, male,
Caucasian.

Found shot to death in his
apartment,

at 704 E. 73rd Street.

The b*ll*ts came from a
Farington .38 found at the
scene.

Now, we traced that g*n to the
guy

that sold it to you, Jimmy,

and he can describe you to a T.

And that's why you've got your
$3,000 from Rupert Harney.

For doing the job you were
imported to do.

- Quit bluffing, Lieutenant.

Breech took that plane, he's on
the plane.

- Eddie Breech is in the morgue,

right where you put him.

- You're crazy!

Check the plane to Mexico City

if you don't believe me.

- Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

All right, Sam.

Now, Mrs. Breech, I
hate to do this to you,

but would you please
repeat what you told me?

It's necessary.

- It was about 7:30
when the doorbell rang,

and my husband answered the
door.

I was in the bedroom.

I didn't think anything of it
'cause

Eddie was having visitors all
the time.

Then I heard the shots.

Two of them.

I opened the bedroom door,
and he was standing there

with a g*n in his hand.

I screamed.

He just dropped the g*n, and he
ran out.

- That's all right,
thank you, Mrs. Breech.

That's all I need.

I said that's all I need,
thank you very much.

Sam.

[dramatic music]

You should've k*lled her too,
Jimmy.

That's where you made your
mistake.

You shouldn't have of
been so soft-hearted.

- You're right about that,
Lieutenant.

[dramatic music]

- The moral of tonight's
story is of course,

never underestimate the power of
a woman.

Then again, perhaps
it's simply sh**t first,

ask questions later.

In any case, I'm certain you are
better

for having watched.

Personally, I enjoyed
seeing a hired k*ller

getting the worst of it.

For in this particular field,

I'm an ardent advocate of do it
yourself.

Unfortunately, the police took
a more stuffy view of events,

and Constance is now
at a woman's honor farm

where she scurries about in her
wheelchair

arousing pity and riding
roughshod over her fellow
inmates.

The next item on the
agenda consists of scenes

of our coming attraction.

The first scene may
appear to be a commercial,

and if I know my sponsor, it
will be.

[lighthearted music]