02x17 - The Jar

[bunniefuu]

["Alfred Hitchcock" theme music]

[trumpet blowing]

- Good evening.

Welcome to the Alfred Hitchcock
Tale Hour.

The next time I buy a ship model
kit,

I intend to read the
directions more closely.

I have one consolation

to being unceremoniously
bottled like this.

That is, wine connoisseurs will
say,

this will be considered a good
year.

However, I feel I have aged
enough.

I only hope I'm let out
while I still have some fizz.

During my absence, you will
be entertained by The Jar,

a story about some people

who found a very strange
source of fascination.

It begins 60 seconds from now.

[gentle music]

[dramatic music]

- Hi honey, see you later.

[man walking]

You're still here bud?

[mysterious music]

We're closing up, everybody's
gone home.

[mysterious music]

You like it, don't you?

Oh, most everybody likes it

in a peculiar kind of way, you
know?

But you been standing around
here

for about three hours just
looking at it.

- Yeah, I saw the way
they all looked at it.

Even the folks from town,

the way they looked at it was
something.

- You don't live here?

- No, I live in Wilder's Holler,
about 10 miles from here.

What is it?

- What is it?

What do you think it is?

- I don't know.

I got an idea but I ain't sure.

It seems to change.

[soft mysterious music]

But it sure is something though.

- Well, that's it, bud,
we're closing up for tonight.

- You ever think of, I mean,

you wouldn't wanna sell it,
would you?

- The jar?

- Yeah, the jar.

Well, I might just sell
the jar to somebody

that had enough money.

- How much money?

- How much money?

Oh, say, three or four.

Maybe seven or $8.



Say a guy had $12.

Yeah, $12 and I'd sell a jar.

I've just been standing here,

thinking how looked up to I'd
be back in Wilder's Holler

if I's to take home
something like this jar

and set it on my table there.

Folks would have respect for
somebody

that owns something like this.

Would you sell it to me for $12?

- Well.

- That's all I got.

No, now wait, here's another
quarter.

Now that's all I got.

- Well, to tell you the truth,

I'm getting tired of carting it

around the country all the time

and it's been giving me a little
trouble.

I've been thinking, kind of
funny things about it lately.

- Yeah, what kind of things?

- I don't know.

Just funny things.

[mysterious music]

You still want it?

- Oh yeah, yeah I do.

- Okay, I'll sell it to you
then.

[mysterious music]

[money crumpling]

[mysterious music]

[car revving]

[Thedy laughing]

[car revving]

- [Gramps] Go get him
Clem, driving to fast.

Can't have that in Widler's
Holler.

[car revving]

- Yeah, I'll get him tomorrow.

- Fine law you are.

- Did you see who he
had in there with him?

- Yeah.

- Poor old Charlie,
bound to happen though.

Younger, more spirited than
he is, just like her ma.

I knew when they went through
that money he saved up,

she was gonna tie awful fast.

- What Thedy needs is a good
swat.

- I can't recall ever

that a good swat ever stopped
anything.

And I can recall a lot of swats,

ain't I right, Clem?

- Yeah, well, speak of the
devil.

- Don't any of you tell him you
saw Thedy

in the car with Tom Carmody.

[car clinking]

- Well, howdy.

- Howdy Charlie, anything
exciting happen over the big
city?

- Yep.

- [Gramps] What?

- Oh something.

[Gramps laughing]

- Look at him, grinning
like that big old tom cat

that swallowed Granny
Carnation's canary

last Easter Sunday morning.

- Wasn't grinning when
Granny put him in a tote sack

and threw him over a bridge.

- Cat come back though, didn't
he Gramps?

[Gramps laughing]

- Yeah, I got something here,

something you just might wanna
see.

- [Milt] Yeah?

- If you got one curious
bone in your body.

- You ain't got nothing
we wanna see, Charlie.

- Well now, you don't get a look

just for saying that, Milt
Marshall.

Come on Clem, I'll let you see
it.

- I'm too tired to get up
Charlie,

ate too much supper.

- I bet you never seen nothing
like this

in your whole life, Gramps.

- I've seen a lot, Charlie, I'm
old.

Can't help but seeing a lot
if you keep your eyes open,

time your as old as me.

- Go on Gramps, have a
look at what Charlie's got.

- Ain't nothing that'll get me,
is it?

- Something in a jar.

- Something good to eat?

- [Charlie] No.

- Big or little jar Charlie?

- Where is it?

- It's right here beside me.

Ain't nothing that'll
jump out at me is it?

- No, no.

- Then I'll take a look at it,
Charlie.

[door opening]

[dramatic music]

Hey, what in the world is that
Charlie?

- Well, what is it Gramps?
- Come here and see.

- No, no, I gotta get home.

[door slamming]

- What is it?

- I never seen anything like it.

- Let me have a look at it
Charlie.

- If you wanna see any more,

well, come around to my house
and see it, it'll be there.

- Is it octopus?

- Well, what did it look like?

- Now, you can't see it, Milt,
'til you say you're sorry.

- I never seen anything like it.

- I told you.

Well come on around, you're
welcome to see it there.

- What'll Thedy say?

- [Charlie] She'll be proud to
have you.

[mysterious music]

[car revving]

[mysterious music]

[car door slamming]

Thedy, Thedy?

[mysterious music]

Thedy, Thedy!

- Oh, here I am!

Don't holla your head off.

You're all time hollering.

- Where you been?

- Down the lake for a swim, cool
off.

Hey Charlie, got up to


Oh, Charlie, what am I gonna
do with the 50 pound bag

of flour, it's gone
weavel up before I use it.

- You're gonna start making hot
biscuits every morning again

when you see what I got.

- Did you get my ribbon?

- Uh-huh.

[door creaking]

[door slamming]

I rode on the merry-go-round
three times Thedy,

and the ferris wheel twice.

Hey, them special ribbons I
got for you at the carnival,

look at them under the light.

It's got your name on it.

The lady said it'd bow up,

you be able to make a bow,

so that you could read your
name right there in your hair.

- Oh, T-H-E-D-Y, Thedy,

S-U-E Sue, H-I-L-L Hill.

[Thedy laughing]

- She just stitched
your name right on there

while I was waiting.

Cost 65 cents, nickel a letter,

but there ain't nobody else
around got a ribbon like that.

Hey, I got something else.

- Thedy Sue Hill.

[mysterious music]

- Come on you now.

Come on, here we go, that's it.

[door slamming]

[mysterious music]

[door slamming]

- You like the ribbons, Thedy?

Those are sequins on
there she called them,

those sparkly thing.

- I know what sequence are,
Charlie.

I had a dress once it was
all made up of sequins.

It was green.

I just glittered all over when I
danced.

[Thedy laughing]

[Thedy whistling]

What you got there, Charlie?

- Oh, something.

- [Thedy] Something what?

- Oh, nevermind, something good.

- What's under there?

- I'll show you.

Well, here sit where you can
see.

No, wait, wait, here this.

No, here, here this.

Well, right where you
can see straight on, see.

- [Thedy] Well.

- All right.

[soft mysterious music]

- Good night, what is it?

Well, what do you think it is,
Thedy?

- Where'd you get that thing?

- I bought it out at the
sideshow at the carnival.

Just look at, Thedy, look at it.

Look at it good.

Did you ever see anything like
that?

[Thedy gagging]

I stopped four times driving
home,

and struck a match to make
sure it was still in there.

- It ain't alive?

- I don't think so.

- What is it?

- [Charlie] Well, what does it
look like?

- Looks like you Charlie.

[Thedy laughing]
- Me?

[Charlie laughing]

- I don't like it.

Get it out of here, it scares
me.

How much you pay for it?

- $12, but it was one
of the main attractions.

- You spent our produce money?

- Thedy, I thought you'd like
it.

- I don't like it at all.

[Thedy gagging]

[Thedy's heels clacking]

[door slamming]

[soft music]

[knocking]

- Thedy, honey, you didn't
even kiss me welcome home.

She used to always kiss me
welcome home.

I work in the bottoms all year
long.

I work hard too.

She don't seem to appreciate it
no more,

makes fun of me.

Everybody makes fun of me.

I know about her and Tom
Carmody.

I don't make no trouble.

All I want is a little respect,

but they ain't gonna make
fun of me no more, are they?

No sir, folks are gonna
have respect for a man

that owns something like you.

- Charlie, you gone crazy
Charlie?

[loud knocking]

[door slamming]

- It's us Charlie.

We thought, like to have
a look at that thing,

that thing you got in that there
jar.

- I'm sorry about what I said,
Charlie.

- Well, come on in fellows,
I was just dusting it off,

so you can you can get
a real good look at it.

[mysterious music]

[intense mysterious music]

[gentle music]

[kids yelling]

- Evening, Charlie.

- Evening, Granny, how you
feeling?

- Oh, I'm here.

Evening, Thedy.

- Evening, Granny, how you
feeling?

- Oh I'm here.

- Come on in, Tom.

[door creaking]

- I'll just stand over here
if you don't mind, Charlie.

- Can I come in?

- Sure Juke, come on, sit over
here.

- When you gone uncover it,
Charlie?

I ain't never seen it yet.

I hear talk about it these
past weeks, but I have seen it.

I've been to Baton Rouge
to the doctor, Charlie.

He told my ma I had the
mind of a 10 year old.

Hi Jahdoo.

- I heard about your jar,
Charlie,

and I come all the way from
Heron swamp to look at it.

- Well, you're welcome Jahdoo.

Well, I'm happy you
could all be here again

and I hope you enjoy the
evening.

[mysterious music]

[clearing throat]

[mysterious music]

- Look at him, just fiddling
down

like a thousand wall of mud.

[Thedy and Tom laughing]

[shushing]

- Wonder what it is?

Wonder if it's a he or a
she, or just a plain old it.

I've been waking up nights all
this month thinking about it,

swimming in there pale and
peaceful.

Sometimes I wake ma up too.

We both just lay there,
thinking.

Ma shiver, hot night too.

Trees sweating, mosquitoes too
hot to fly,

Ma shiver just the same,

can't get back to sleep.

Ain't that right Ma?

- That's right, you's a telling
the truth.

[soft mysterious music]

- It sure is something.

I had a cat once who all the
time

was having baby kittens.

A litter every time I turned
around,

house is crawling with cats.

So many, they's living in
the trees around the house.

Pa said that was the end of it.

And when the next letter come,

he put down a big two gallon
glass jar out by the steps

where that old cat was on the
steps,

and he filled it full of water,

and he said to me,

"Jukey, you drown them cats

for I get back from the
bottoms."

I member I stood there

and them kitties come
running from under the steps,

meowing and jumping,

and just beginning to
get their eyes open good,

and I looked up at Ma on the
porch

and I said, you do it Ma.

And she said, Pa give me that
job

and she went off to fry up a
chicken

and make some poochy gravy,

and I stood there a long time

for I finally pick one of them
up.

There was eight of them.

The one I picked up was gray and
soft

and had a big runner of
white down his tummy, warm,

and made little mewing sound.

Mew, mew, mew.

I felt like picking them all up

and running off in the woods
with them,

living wild, never coming back,

but I knew I'd get a
whooping If I didn't do

what Pa told me, so I dropped
that kitty in the water.

And I know the next day the way

that kitty floated after it was
all over,

drifting around slow, not
worrying,

looking at me, not blaming
me for what I done,

but sure not liking me none for
it either.

But I couldn't do none the
others.

I gotta a whooping anyway,
but I couldn't k*ll no more.

[mysterious music]

- What color eyes has it got?

- Blue.

- No Granny, green.

- What color hair, red?

- Black.

- Brown.

- No, gray.

- Charlie, you know more
about it than any of else.

You see it more.

You live right here with it.

You see it when you're eating.

Charlie, what do you think it
is?

- Well, say, an old man or
a kid got lost in the swamp,

wandering around for years and
years,

lost in all that, wet and
dripping,

away from the sun, no sun say,

skin turning pale,

but stands to right
he'd start shriveling up

and withering away.

Now, finally, maybe sink down
into one of them muck holes

and lay there like the maggot
skeeters

sleeping in all at all swamp
water.

Why, for all we can tell, this
could be somebody we know.

Somebody we used to talk to,
for all we know, it could.

- I lost my little Fulley
in the swamp that way.

My little boy, Fuller,

run away, never come back.

Don't suppose, my baby, my baby.

Fulley, Fulley, Fulley,
is that you Fulley?

[screaming]

It moved!

- No, no, no, it didn't move.

- Honest, I seen it shift too,
slow,

like that dead kitty, I did.

- The dead don't move.

- He made a sign.

That's my Fulley.

[crying]

- Mrs. Tridden, Mrs. Tridden

that's not your child
anymore than it is mine.

Maybe you should come sit down.

[Mrs. Tridden crying]

- More than likely we'll
never find out what it is,

and if we do find out, we
probably won't want too.

We wouldn't have anything
to talk about them.

[Thedy walking]

- That ain't nothing.

Probably a bunch of old
jellyfish or something.

- You wouldn't be jealous, would
you Tom?

- I just come over to what
you all make fools yourself.

You don't see me setting foot
in or taking part do you?

Oh, heck I'm going home.

Anybody wanna to go out my way?

[door slamming]

- Like I was saying, for
Mr Carmody had his say,

that thing in that jar,

now, why couldn't it
be, sort of, all things?

Lots of things, all
kinds of life and death.

I don't know, mix rain with sun,

and grass and snakes and
children and jelly and mist

and all the nights and days
and the dead cane break,

and all that together.

Why does it have to be just one
thing?

Maybe it's lots.

- Go on Eva Ann, tell
him what you told me.

Evan Ann wants to tell everybody

what she thinks is in the jar.

Go on, Eva Ann,

tell them what you told me
you think is in the jar,

go on, honey.

- It's the boogey man.

[mysterious music]

[car revving]

[car revving]

[mysterious music]

- What are you up to, Thedy?

- Oh, Charlie, featherbed just
too hot in the summertime.

Just keep sinking down into.

- Don't you be up to
nothing bad, you hear me,

you and Tom Carmody.

- Oh, got to bed, Charlie,

you had a busy evening
entertaining.

[Thedy humming]

[mysterious music]

- What was that?

- I didn't hear anything,
go back to sleep, Charlie.

[mysterious music]

[intense music]

- We have come to the station
break.

And speaking of breaks,
I wish this bottle would.

I've been hearing the disturbing
rumor

that this is a no
deposit, no return bottle,

and that I may end up in the
trash.

All this will be continued

after we hear from our local
stations.

[mysterious music]

[door slamming]

- Clem!
- Who is it, who is it?

- It's Charlie.

- Oh, Charlie.

- Somebody stole my jar
and you've got to find.

I got up to have a drink of
water

and take a look at it and it's
gone.

- Sure that thing didn't just
get up and walk aways itself?

- Now that's not funny.

Somebody come in and took it.

- All right, Charlie.

- And I want them caught,
and I want it back.

- All right, all right,

I'll get on it the first
thing tomorrow morning.

- Then, I'll find them, and I'll
k*ll him.

- Oh, Charlie, you know that
you wouldn't k*ll nobody.

Why don't you just go
home home and calm down,

and I'll go out for
breakfast tomorrow morning

and make out a report on it?

- Hey, Charlie.

- Who's there?

- It's Juke, Charlie.

- Go home, Juke.

What are you doing running
around this time of morning?

- I made myself a jar, see.

I got a frog, three
lightning bugs, a bird's wing

and a dandelion.

I know who's got your jar,
Charlie.

- Who?

- I heard him talking, Thedy,
and Tom Carmody and Jahdoo.

Tom Carmody give Jahdoo a
$1 bill to steal your jar

and take it away to Heron swap.

Thedy said she leave the screen
door open for him to get in.

They told him the bust it up.

- To bust it up?

- That's what they told him to
do.

- Hey, you can have my jar,
Charlie.

It's not as good as yours,
but you can have it.

[car revving]

[mysterious music]

[car door slamming]

[intense music]

- Jahdoo, Jahdoo.

[intense music]

Jahdoo, I want my jar.

[intense music]

[splashing]

[intense music]

Help, Jahdoo, help!

[g*n sh**ting]

- [Jahdoo] You go under quicker
if you struggle, Charlie.

- Jahdoo, Jahdoo help me.

Help Jahdoo, fast.

- Sometimes it takes as
long as three full hours

if you don't struggle
to go all the way under.

- Help me.

- For you come calling,

I've been sitting here
looking at his old jar

thinking about what I think it
is.

- [Charlie] Help Jahdoo, it's
taking me.

- I couldn't get up and testify
in front of all them people,

but i know what it is.

- Help me, Jahdoo help.

- This here.

- [Charlie] Jahdoo, please.

- Is a piece of the heart of all
life.

- Please, Jahdoo.

- Believe me, Charlie, I know.

- Help me, Jahdoo.

- From this heart.

- [Charlie] Jahdoo, give me
your hand, Jahdoo, please.

Behind somewhere back in
the Middy Bamboo swamp,

long, long time ago.

- [Charlie] Help me, Jahdoo.

- All sort of things start to
crawl.

- Help, it's taken me under
fast.

- From the rich dark garden,
Middy Bamboo

- [Charlie] Please, Jahdoo.

this heart come crawling out of
the dark.

- Please give me a hand Jahdoo,
please.

- And it puts out a hand
like the roots of a tree.

- [Charlie] Jahdoo, help.

- And it puts out seed
like the roots of a flower.

- [Charlie] Jahdoo, give
me your hand, Jahdoo.

- Then it grow a long tongue
and horns, and it gets bigger.

- Jahdoo!

- This heart, now something
else.

- [Charlie] Jahdoo, help!

- Grows up on land, keeps
changing.

- [Charlie] Jahdoo, please help
me.

- Then, hallelujah, it is human.

- Help me, here Jahdoo, pull me,
please.

Please, Jahdoo, give me your
hand, please.

- Human.

- [Charlie] Jahdoo, please.

- This is the heart and
center of all creation.

This is Middy Bamboo Mama
from who we all come,



- [Charlie] Help me, please.

Quick, Jahdoo, help,
it's taken me under fast.

- They paid me

- [Charlie] Jahdoo, help please.

- A dollar, Charlie.

- [Charlie] Jahdoo, help me.

- To steal and destroy the
center of all creation.

- Oh, thank you Jahdoo, help,
pull.

[charlie grunting]

- What you do that for, Thedy?

You know how much my jar means
to me,

how much fun it gives me.

- Soo wee, what pigpen you
been sleeping in Charlie?

- You oughta be proud of me.

- [Thedy] Proud?

- There ain't nobody else

in Wilder's Holler got
anything like my jar.

- [Thedy] They sure don't.

- I'm respected.

- [Thedy] Respected?

- Folks look up to me,

- Look up to you?

[Thedy laughing]

- Don't laugh at me
Thedy, don't Thedy, don't.

Shut up!

- How looked up do you gonna be

if I was to take this old spoon
and break that jar of yours?

- Just you try it.

[glass shattering]

[Thedy yelling]

- Give me that.

[Thedy and Charlie grunting]

Ouch, you.

[Thedy yelling]

[spoon clanking]

- You was gonna hit me with that
spoon.

You'd k*ll me over that jar.

- Just get out Thedy, get out.

[door creaking]

[door slamming]

- Thedy, I'm sorry I won't
hurt you, Thedy, come back.

- I'll be back, I'll be back
Charlie Hill.

You're gonna pay for trying to
k*ll me.

You hear me, do you hear me?

[Thedy yelling]

[intense music]

[intense music]

[car door slamming]

[car revving]

[toy clanking]

Yee haw, Charlie.

Yee haw, yee haw, Charlie.

[clanging]

[Charlie mumbling]

- Charlie.

- What?

- Charlie.

♪ But you don't know where I
been ♪

♪ I been to the carnival ♪

[Thedy clicking]

It moved over past Cake city.

Tom Carmody drove me over there
today

and we talked to that carnie
boss.

That little bitty man that
sold you your wonderful jar.

Yes we did, we sure did,

and he told us what's in that
jar.

- I don't wanna hear it.

- Oh but you got to.

It's a goodie, it's a goodie.

- Go away Thedy, go.

- Uh-huh, no Charlie, honey, no,

not 'til I tell you what's in
that jar.

- Get Thedy, get!

- Please let me tell you.

We talked to the little carnie
boss.

That little teeny man.

[Thedy laughing]

He was likely to die laughing.

He said he sold that
jar to some hick for $12

and it ain't worth more
than two at the most.

- No, I don't wanna hear it.

- It's just junk, Charlie.

It's paper, and it's
clay, and it's cotton,

and it's strings, and it's silk,

and it's a pair of baby doll's
eyes,

and it's all together on this
metal frame

and that's all it is.

- No.

- Oh, Charlie, everybody
is sure gonna laugh at you

when they find out what a fake
it is.

- You're not gonna tell.

[smacking]

- Yes, I am, tomorrow night.

- But why?

- Because Charlie, you
just got too high for you,

you're just too big for your
britches.

- Thedy I don't understand.

- 'Cause you're dumb.

- Please don't tell them Thedy.

This has been the best time
of my life, it's been good.

They won't come over and
visit anymore if you tell.

- That's right.

- I was gonna start to
serve refreshments and all.

Thedy, you didn't go to that
carnival.

Yes I did.

- You're lying.

- [Thedy] I am not.

- But my jar, it's got
to have something in it.

- Just junk.

- Besides the junk, you say.

- Life and death?

- There's too many people
believe

that there's something in there.

Too many people get pleasure
just coming and watching

and listening and talking,

I can't let you change that
Thedy.

That carnie boss, if you
talk to him then he lied.

- No, he didn't.

He did not.

He did not lie.

He didn't lie, he didn't, look
see.

[mysterious carnival music]

- Look, look at this piece of
paper, see,

and there's that cotton, and
more cotton,

and wire, and yarn.

Oh, and there's a piece of inner
tube,

and there's a great big
piece of clay and baby dolls.

That's all it is.

That's all it is, Charlie,
that's all!

Thedy, come here.

- What you want?

- Just come here to me.

- No.

- [Charlie] Come here.

- No.

- [Charlie] I wanna show you
something.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

[Thedy purring]

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

[Thedy meowing]

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

[Thedy meowing]

Come on, kitty, kitty, kitty.

[Thedy meowing and purring]

[Thedy yelling]

[thudding]

[knife thudding]

- Cut me up such a big piece,
Charlie,

I only ever eat so hardly out of
them.

- Well, eat what you can Gramps.

- Fine idea to start serving
refreshments.

- It's about time he did,

come on everybody get your
places.

- Howdy, Charlie.

- Well, hello Jahdoo,
come on, just in time.

[door creaking]

- [Clem] Sorry I'm late Charlie.

- Well, I'm real happy to
see you all here again,

and I hope you enjoy the
evening.

[mysterious music]

- I never noticed a definite
before.

It's got blue eyes.

- Always had blue eyes.

- No, it didn't, it was green
I swear, last time I was here.

Another thing, it's got brown
hair.

Didn't have brown hair before.

- Yes it did.

My Fulley had brown
hair, the color of mine.

- [Clem] No it didn't.

[door creaking]

[door slamming]

- What do you think it
is Tom, you haven't said.

- [Milt] It sure is something,
it sure is something.

- [Eva Ann's Mom] Go on honey,

you tell it what you told me
you think is in the jar, go on.

- [Evan Ann] It's the.

- [Mrs. Tridden] My baby, my
baby, Fulley.

- [Granny] It's everything and
anything,

the night, the swamp,
death, the pale things,

the wet things from the sea.

- [Juke] Kitty, here kitty.

Kitty, kitty, here kitty kitty.

Kitty kitty, here kitty.

[dramatic music]

- [Clem] I don't know.

I just don't know.

- [Jahdoo] This here is a piece

of the heart of all life, human.

This is the heart and
center of all creation.

- I wonder, I wonder
if it's a he or a she,

or just a plain ole it.

- I reckon we'll never know.

I reckon we won't.

[heels clacking]

- Look mama, there's a bow in
the hair

on the thing in the jar,
a ribbon, T-H-E-D-Y.

What does that spell mama?

- [Eva Ann's Mom] Thedy.

- S-U-E H-I-L-L.

- [Eva Ann's Mom] Thedy Sue
Hill.

[intense music]

[screaming]

- It's Thedy.

[creepy carnival music]

- I wish to make one thing clear
at once.

Any resemblance between the jar

and any other type of home
entertainment

is purely coincidental.

There is just no comparison.

However, we are working everyday

to lift the level of television.

Someday, who knows?

Getting out the bottle proved
to be easier than I imagined.

However, I had the help of an
angry genie

who claimed I had invaded his
home.

That is all I have to offer this
evening

until next week then, good
night.

[jazzy music]