["Alfred Hitchcock" theme music]
- Good evening.
We seem to have a
compulsion these days
to bury time capsules
in order to give those living
in the next century or so
some idea of what we are like.
I have prepared one of my own.
In it, I have placed
some rather large
samples of dynamite,
gunpowder, and nitroglycerin.
My time capsule is set to
go off in the year 3000.
It will show them what
we are really like.
This evening's drama is about
a different type
of time capsule.
It is called The Trap,
and it set to go off
in just 60 seconds.
- Yes, sir?
- I have an appointment
with Mr. Beale,
the agency sent me.
I'm Mr. Cochran.
- Oh.
You're a bit early.
- No, you're clock is
slow, I'm exactly right.
- Well, may I have your coat?
The elevator please.
- Thank you.
- Please.
Someone else.
- Second floor, sir.
[chandelier clattering]
- Mr. Cochran?
- Yes.
- Good, I'll let Mr.
Beale know you're here.
[toy train running]
Ah, right in there.
- Ah, Mr. Cochran.
Come in, come in.
Sit down somewhere and start
telling me about yourself.
Would you like a drink?
- Nothing, thank you.
- "Nothing, thank you".
All right.
Well, well, well.
You know, when I was your age,
I never refused a drink?
You see what it's got me?
Hey, do you like toys?
Do you want to have some fun?
Take this bat and
move back over there.
Go on, further back.
I'll tell you when to stop.
That's good.
Now, you see this?
It's an automatic pitcher.
It makes Bobby Feller
look like a piker.
Now hold up the bat, look good.
Ready?
And here she comes.
Hey, hey!
You're supposed to swing at it.
Now try it again.
Here she comes.
Come on, where's your eye?
Once more, let's go now.
Here she comes.
Get some wood on it!
I mean plastic.
It's a plastic bat.
Now swing at her!
Ready?
Watch it now, close.
And...
Well, that does it.
You missed them all, you
didn't hit one of them!
Well, I guess you
don't get the job.
- What?
- Well, you struck out.
You don't do me much good.
Thanks anyway.
- Mr. Beale, I
think the agency--
- Look, I wanted a man
to demonstrate this toy.
And brother, you're terrible.
But it's been fun,
thanks anyway.
- I'm sorry, there
must've been some mistake.
- April Fool!
[laughing]
Mr. Cochran, come back.
Sit down, sit down.
Ah.
Sit down.
The expression on your
face was really something.
[laughing]
Now, tell me something that
you think is important.
Like, I don't know, what?
- I'm an expert at shorthand.
- And?
- I'm a shorthand champion.
If you care, I can take a letter
faster than anyone
in the country.
- Oh, really?
You're a champion.
Oh, here.
Do you have a pencil?
- No.
- Get ready, set, go!
My dear sir...
You know, I don't
know what to say,
I don't talk very fast.
Oh, oh, I know.
I'll get my wife in here,
she'll give you a
beautiful letter.
[toy train running]
There she goes.
Hm, now, tell me something else.
Shorthand champion,
did you go to school?
- I went to Princeton.
I graduated in two
and a half years.
- I didn't even go
two and a half years.
Eighth grade.
Eighth grade of PS
something something.
You see what it gets you?
Well, Princeton.
What else?
- I was in the army.
- [Mr. Beale] Is that where
you learned shorthand?
- No, I didn't learn
anything except
how stupid my sergeant was.
- Oh.
- He an enormous contempt
for college graduates.
- Yeah.
Now look, Princeton.
Why do you want this job?
Do you want to be my
personal secretary?
Do you like toys?
What?
- I don't know, I just think
it'd be an interesting job.
- Well, you know,
if you get this job,
you'll have to work
here in my home.
I like to work where
it's nice and quiet.
- So do I.
I had 11 brothers and
sisters in my family.
- 11?
[laughing]
- It wasn't funny.
- Oh, here she is.
Oh, come on in.
I want you to meet somebody.
This is Mr. Cochran,
he's interested
in being my personal secretary.
You want to tell
him how easy I am
to get along with?
[laughing]
- Hello.
- Oh, did you know
that Mr. Cochran
is a shorthand champion?
I wanted you to come in here
and do him a favor and throw
a few sentences at him.
I got hung up after "Dear sir".
[laughing]
Sit down, Mr. Cochran,
you don't mind.
Oh, come on.
Let's have a little fun
with Princeton here.
- Teddy, please,
I've got a lot to do.
- Shh, one minute.
Start taking notes.
Come on, only a minute.
What have you got to do?
- Well, we're having
friends for dinner
and I want to go over
the menu with Margaret.
And I'm supposed to
meet Reala Borden
at the gallery this afternoon.
There's a new
artist, I don't know,
but she likes him.
I said I'd go if she went
to the antique fair with me.
She doesn't like the coliseum
because of all
those people and--
- Stop.
You all right, Mr. Cochran?
- Teddy.
- Shh, shh, one minute.
Read it back, champ.
- "Well, we're having
some friends for dinner,
"and I wanted to go over
the menu with Margaret,
"and I'm supposed
to meet Reala Borden
"at the gallery this afternoon.
"There's a new artist,
I don't know"--
- Good.
Very good, very good!
[clapping]
How do you sound?
I want you to type that up
and send a copy to
all my other wives.
[laughing]
Thank you, Mr. Cochran.
I'll call the agency and
let them know either way.
Well, thanks for coming.
Oh, have a cigar.
Do you smoke?
- No, thank you.
- Good.
It explodes.
[laughing]
Bye.
- Teddy.
I have a funny
feeling about him.
I just can't explain it,
but I don't think
you should hire him.
- Feeling?
Well, what do you mean feeling?
He's a good kid, he
listens, he's all right.
- You asked me how I felt.
- My peach, you feel too much.
I'm gonna hire this kid.
- Teddy.
Please?
- Please what?
- Try someone else.
- Hey!
You're serious.
Ridiculous.
Look, I'll be you a new, oh,
what do you call it?
A high boy.
I'll bet you an old high
boy, that's better huh?
That this kid is
the right choice.
- No bets.
You asked what I thought, and
I just say don't take him.
- My peach, you lose.
He's hired.
[dramatic music]
[cigar explodes]
- Here's some more
papers for you to sign,
or would you like me to do it?
- I'll be with you in a minute.
Almost to the finish line!
There.
Won by a nose, always do.
Let's see.
Oh, very good.
Hey!
Wait a minute.
I didn't write this letter.
- Is something wrong?
- Hey, this is some letter!
You write this
letter, Princeton?
- No, I just made a few changes.
- Hm.
Sign it for me.
You know, Princeton, I
like the way you work.
I hope I haven't been
working you too hard.
- No, it's fine.
The hours are a little stricken.
A little difficult getting here
from where I live all
the time, but fine.
- Hey, I got an idea.
We got a nice place
up on the top floor.
Why don't you move in up there?
- Well, it's not
really necessary.
- Oh, it's the least I can do.
I'll have the
servants fix it up.
Okay?
- Thank you.
- Good, welcome aboard.
Oh, while you're up,
will you get me that
envelope over there?
Open it up, open it up.
I want to show you something.
They just sent this rendering
over from the office.
It's a new toy.
Ah!
Hey, did you ever
see that show on TV,
what was the name of it,
raccoon, "Rick the Raccoon"?
You Know, the guy goes
around with a mask on
like that fella on TV?
Hey, ever see a raccoon?
Well, look at this, see?
We're coming out with a new
toy called Rick the Raccoon.
It has a removable
mask and natural fur.
Very cuddly.
How about it, Princeton?
- This is a new product?
- What?
- This is a new product?
- Oh, this I've had it for...
Oh, oh, you mean the doll!
Yeah!
- But don't you
think the kids today
want something a little
more sophisticated?
- Oh, look!
There are millions
of fools every year
who buy teddy bears
and cuddly dolls.
They might just as well
squeeze Rick the Raccoon.
- Have you ever seen the show?
- Princeton, for heaven's sake!
You must think I'm crazy!
- No, Mr. Beale.
But if you knew anything
about this show,
you'd know it's been on
the air for three years.
You're too late.
Or do you want a warehouse
full of raccoons?
- Get me that phone.
Harmon please.
Harmon.
Harmon, how long has this
show been on the air?
And how come we are
just now coming out
with this new toy?
What difference does it
make if nobody else did?
The next time you get an
idea from a television show,
make sure it's not a re-run!
- Hold it!
Hate to have missed it.
You been to the gallery?
- No.
What are you looking at?
- Nothing.
- Why are you staring at me?
- Was I staring?
- What are you doing?
- Was I staring?
- Let me out of here.
- I'm sorry.
- You don't value
your job very much,
do you, Mr. Cochran?
Let me tell you
something, I've seen you.
I've seen what you're
doing with my husband.
Little ideas,
little suggestions.
Well, he doesn't need
you, Mr. Cochran,
and no matter how hard you
try, you can't make him.
It's your mistake.
[dramatic music]
- Peg!
Ah.
Hey, I've brought you a present.
What's the matter, honey?
Why so glum?
Look, I brought you a present.
Something to keep you company.
Come on, open it.
Now, this is the latest
Beale toy creation.
Oh, not just another doll.
Here, let me show you.
- Teddy Bear, this is the
umpteenth to you've brought me.
What am I gonna
do with them all?
- Well, I always give
you the first one.
Good luck, you
always get the first.
Now watch.
I love you, I love you.
Come on, watch.
Here, hold it!
- Teddy, I don't want to!
- I love you, I love you.
How about that?
Pretty good, huh?
You like it?
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
There's a little
tape recorder inside,
it says anything you want.
You like it, huh?
I love you.
I love you.
I love...
What's the matter, Peg?
Well, what's the matter?
- Teddy Bear, come here please.
- I was just over there.
- Please, Teddy.
- Well, what?
- Thank you for the present.
- Oh, you liked it, huh?
- It's very cute.
- I just hope a couple of
hundred thousand kids think so.
- They will.
Teddy?
I want to ask you a
very important question.
- Go ahead.
- Do you have to have that
Mr. Cochran working for you?
- What, Princeton?
What's wrong with him?
He's the best
secretary I ever had.
[catchy music]
Glen, you old bum!
I'm sorry you have
to be leaving.
I mean, things are
just getting started,
if you know what I mean.
- We've had a wonderful time,
it's been a great party.
Really, you know,
you've outdone yourself.
- Is Peg around?
I'd like to say goodbye.
- Is Peg around?
Is Peg around?
I don't know, she's around.
- Ted, you won't be with
us very long at this rate.
- Oh.
Oh, you mean...
Well, I'll save these
for you for next time.
And don't worry about me!
Just take care of yourselves.
Good to see ya!
- Good to see you, Ted.
[laughing]
Here, oh, come on.
There you go.
Goodnight, now.
- Goodnight.
[party favors blowing]
[laughing]
[party favors blowing]
[dramatic music]
- Sit down, before
I beat you to it.
Or maybe I better not sit down,
I might not be able
to get up again.
Hey.
What are you doing in here?
- I just wanted some quiet.
- Well, on your birthday,
we'll have a nice,
quiet little party.
All right?
You haven't seen my wife
around here, have you?
- No.
- Ah.
She's probably showing
our furniture to somebody.
- Ah.
- What's the matter?
You don't like parties.
Yes, you told me.
You like quiet.
You don't like crowds
either, do you, Princeton?
Now what's the matter?
- I wish you wouldn't
call me that.
- What?
Princeton?
Well, what's wrong with that?
It's a nice name.
- My sergeant used
to call me Princeton.
- Ah, well.
Look, I'll call you
something else if you like.
You see, I don't mind names.
Everybody calls me everything.
My wife calls me Teddy Bear,
my brother-in-law calls me Bill,
and my card partners
call me Fatty.
Oh, oh!
And my competitors, you
should hear what they call me!
[laughing]
What shall I call you?
- Anything you like.
- What does my wife call you?
- John.
- I like Princeton.
Hey, hey.
Do you see all this furniture?
My wife picked it out.
I had a nice, all
stuffed chair in my place
over on 3rd Avenue, beat
anything in this room
any day of the week!
Did I ever told you
how I met my peach?
Do you know?
- No.
- Well, I was at
a toy convention
in St. Louis seven years ago.
She was a young kitten then.
And she was up on the stage.
She was up there on a stage
in a lovely bathing suit,
with a big ribbon
all across her.
And then this Master of
Ceremonies stepped out,
and he said, "Ladies
and gentlemen,
"I'd like to present Miss
Stuffed Toy of 1957!"
I rushed up and said hello.
You know how it is
at these conventions,
everybody grabs you
first and says hello
about three days later.
Well, I walked right
up, and I said hello.
And about, what, about
a year and a half later,
I married her, see?
Where is Peg?
- She's probably with
the other guests.
- Hey, I got an idea!
I'm gonna have Peg do
her routine for you.
Oh, she had a speech she
did at that convention.
I'm gonna find Peg and
have her do it for you.
- No, Mr. Beale, I'll just--
- I'll have her do it for you!
- I think she's
this way, Mr. Beale.
- Oh...
[dramatic music]
[door slams]
[catchy music]
Have you seen Peg?
- Peg?
Peg who?
- Oh!
- [Woman] Oh!
[catchy music]
- Peg!
Oh, Peg!
[catchy music]
- What would you like, sir?
- Come on, come on.
- What's that?
- Nothing.
- Sorry.
[catchy music]
[knocking]
- Peg?
Oh, Peg!
[catchy music]
[laughing]
- Hiya, Teddy!
Hey, we're still going strong.
Sandy and I got a new dance
we want to show you,
it goes like this.
Do it, baby!
[catchy music]
- I need a drink.
- Your husband is
looking for you.
- That's very funny.
- Your husband is
looking for you.
You ought to go to him,
or shall we wait here
for him to find you?
Ping pong, anyone?
[typing]
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- I see you survived the party.
- I don't drink.
- You know, there's
no need to hurry,
Teddy's still in
bed, with a hangover.
- That's all right,
I have work to do.
- Do you?
- What do you want?
- Do you really have
work to do this morning?
- Of course I have work,
do you think I'm
here for my health?
- Your boss is
dead to the world,
there's nobody here
to secretary for.
- Is that what you
came here to tell me?
Hm?
Didn't you really come
here to find something out?
To find out whether or not
I was gonna say anything
to your husband
about last night.
- You've made a mistake.
- Why don't you ask me?
Go ahead, ask me.
Well, it's that simple.
Ask me.
Oh, don't bother, I'll tell you.
I could care less what
you did last night
or any other night,
fortunately for you.
No, really.
- John?
John?
Wait a minute.
Please, John, I'm sorry.
It's just that I noticed
the way you look at me.
[loud clanging]
- We're stuck.
It won't open.
We're between the floors.
- John, please, listen to me.
- Well, it's stuck, and
we're between the floors.
- It can be fixed, John.
I can fix it.
Just listen to me for a minute.
- What?
- I really did come to
you because I noticed--
- You noticed what?
What did you notice?
What's the matter with you?
Do you think I'm a fool?
Do you think I don't notice?
Do you think I walk around
with my eyes closed?
What are you anyhow, huh?
Miss Stuffed Toy.
Do you know what you are?
You're bored.
You're bored stiff
with that fat old man,
and you know it.
You're billin'
cool all over him,
and you can hardly
stand one minute of it.
But you keep right
on, don't you, huh?
Like a trooper.
And it dresses you in black
and sleeps you in silk,
and it sends you down
to play in the gymnasium
on your husband's birthday.
Now he's a barrel of
fun, isn't he, huh?
A lot of laughs this
past seven years,
a lot of toys, a lot of
parties, a lot of jokes, huh?
From your Teddy Bear?
How about it, Mrs. Beale, Peg.
Little Peach.
You hate it all, don't you, huh?
You hate it.
- No.
No, it's not true.
- Peg.
Peg.
[elevator stuttering]
[laughing]
- You've been stuck up there
for a while, haven't you?
I was wondering
what was happening.
I kept pressing the buzzer.
I finally went and
fixed the fuse.
- We didn't know what happened.
- Oh, it's the fuse.
And when that happens,
you just press the alarm bell.
And if the bell doesn't work,
just give a loud yell.
Now look, if this thing
gets stuck, don't panic,
and don't bang on the floors,
and don't shout terrible things.
Just press the alarm
bell like this, see?
[alarm bell rings]
There's always
somebody in the house.
Aren't we, staff?
Oh my head.
What am I doing up?
My stomach is feeling
better, but my head.
Oh, if that gets stuck,
it means the fuse is blown.
It means that somebody is
using the electric iron
and the dishwasher, and
something else all at once.
So...
Oh, oh.
Thank you.
So, we take a fuse from here,
and we put it in the
place marked lift.
That's English for elevator.
There we go.
Put the old fuse here.
Simple, huh?
The elevator is now running.
Can you remember that?
Good.
Ah.
- Teddy Bear.
Why don't you go on back to bed?
- Ah, that's a good idea.
[dramatic music]
Goodnight, all.
[dramatic music]
- One item which might
well go into a time capsule
is the station break.
In fact, I would love to
enclose this next one,
but they won't allow me
to get my hands on it.
However, you may
examine it after which
our story will continue.
- You ready?
- Mhm.
- Here it goes.
[airplane buzzing]
Let's get it.
- Okay.
He's coming up on your side.
Wait a minute, uh oh.
- Here he comes.
- There he is!
- We got him.
He'll never fly again.
- Give him to me.
- Mm.
Mm.
There.
- I wish Teddy were out
playing cards every night.
If we could fly, would
you fly somewhere with me?
- Where?
- Anywhere.
- What do we live on?
- Doesn't matter, we
could live in a tent.
[chuckling]
- If we lived in a tent,
you'd want room service.
[chuckling]
- Not with you.
- I'm flattered.
- I'm serious.
- Okay, honey.
Where do you want to go?
- I don't know.
I just want to
get away from him,
I don't know where.
How about if he
were to die soon?
I mean soon.
- How about that?
I'd be out of work.
- Would you?
- Well--
- We could get married.
- We could.
We could get married
without him dying.
- Oh, he'd never
give me a divorce.
And if he did, I
wouldn't have anything.
But if he were to die, soon...
I'd have everything and you.
- That's very funny.
Everything and me, huh?
[chuckling]
- You know what I mean.
- You want to k*ll him?
- Well--
- It doesn't sound so simple
when you put it that way, huh?
- It doesn't.
- Why don't we
just wait a while?
- I don't wanna wait.
We can k*ll him.
- Peg.
Why not do it my way?
- Johnny.
Help me.
Please, Johnny.
I mean, you're so smart.
We can find a way,
foolproof way.
Please, Johnny?
- Hm.
- Please?
[chuckling]
Say you'll help me.
Pretty please?
- All right.
All right.
Let me think.
Let me think of a way.
- Johnny boy.
[dramatic music]
- Princeton!
Oh, Princeton!
Hey, I got something new.
You're gonna love this.
This is just great.
We're putting out a new game,
and it's called Go-Ball.
It's great, you gotta
play it, it's just great.
Now, I'm gonna set this pole up,
and you clear this
away, will ya?
Get all these chairs out
of here and everything.
And here we go.
Now, there are a couple
of paddles over there.
Get them for me, will ya?
There's one for
you and one for me.
- Well, I'm not
very good at games
as you know.
- Oh look, this is a corker.
I beat everybody down at
the plant this morning.
Beat me?
[laughing]
Not on your life.
Now look.
The object of this game
is to wrap this rope
around the pole,
right up to the ball.
You got it?
- I think so.
I'll learn as we go along.
- Hey, Princeton.
How about a wager?
Double or nothing.
Your paycheck.
How about that?
- Well, I'm not
very good at this.
- Double or nothing.
I serve.
You ready?
Set, and here we go!
There.
Come on, swing at it.
[paddles smacking]
- Double or nothing.
You lose.
[dramatic music]
- What do you say to Aunt Peg
for giving you the teddy bear?
- Thank you!
- You're welcome.
- It was a lovely lunch.
And thank you, John,
for showing Rosemary
all the toys.
Will we see you again soon?
- Soon?
Of course.
We'll see you next
week in the country.
Remember?
- The country?
- Didn't Ted tell you
about it at the party?
He told us he
wanted to bring you
down to the country for
a few weeks vacation.
Ooh, I shouldn't of told you.
It's probably a surprise.
- Yeah, I guess it was.
- Well, he said you've
been so restless lately
here in the city
that he was going to
let the servants go
and rush you off to the country.
So we'll see you next week.
- I guess so.
Have a good trip back.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Thanks again.
Goodnight.
- Well?
- Well, what?
- Why did he do that?
Why didn't he tell me?
- He likes to surprise you.
- Do you believe that?
I think he knows something.
I think he knows we're
planning something.
- Nah, it's ridiculous.
How could he?
- I don't know, but he could.
I'm sure he knows something.
I don't want to
be alone with him.
- Peg, please.
- We've gotta do
something, soon.
Now, before we leave.
We have to.
- Peg, honey, you're
imagining things.
Look, we've got
to take our time.
We can't afford
to make a mistake.
- We don't have any time.
- Peg.
Your husband likes my work.
I'm gonna be here a long time.
A long time.
To find just the right
way to get rid of him.
Now, everything's all right.
Just give me some time.
[dramatic music]
- What's all this for?
- Just covering for
the holidays, sir.
A lot of dust can
accumulate in three weeks.
- You know something?
These antiques
never looked better!
[laughing]
- Goodbye, sir.
Have a nice holiday.
[door slams]
- You wanted me for something?
- John.
You haven't been here
very long, have you?
- No, sir.
No, I haven't.
- I hate to say this,
but it looks like
I'm gonna have to find
myself another secretary.
Well, don't panic!
I've just paid you a complement.
I'm gonna kick you upstairs.
You're just wasting
your time around here.
Hey!
How would you like
to work in Europe?
- I don't know, doing what?
- Oh, we're gonna try to open up
a new market over there.
Our toys don't
speak any language,
and there's no reason
why a French kid
can't have one.
I want you to go over
there for about six months.
Oh, I'll give you a
month's vacation in front.
You'll travel all over,
and if things look good,
we'll be in business,
and you'll be in charge.
How about that?
- I'd like to think about it.
- Good.
I'll give you a
couple of seconds.
I want you to leave today.
- Today?
- T-o-d-a-y.
Peg and I are leaving for
the country in an hour.
We'll all leave together.
- Well, today is--
- Oh, this just happened
this morning, John.
It was my brainstorm.
They were gonna
send somebody else,
but I vetoed him for
you, how about that?
- Well, it's very tempting.
- Sold!
Pack now!
We'll all leave in
an hour, come on.
- Peg, honey, I'm not
going away forever,
I'll be back.
- But six months, I don't
want to be with that man
for six more days.
- Well, I'll be back, we'll do
everything when I come back.
- He knows we're
planning something,
that's why he's
sending you away.
- Oh, how could he know?
He likes my work, that's all.
- He does know, I
know he does, John.
We've got to do something.
- Well, what are we gonna do?
You're off for the
country this afternoon
and I'm going to Europe.
- You don't want
to help me at all.
That's what it is, you don't
love me anymore, do you?
- Will you keep it down, please?
He's still in there.
- Let him hear, he knows anyway.
You don't love me, you
just don't care anymore.
You get a golden opportunity
and you jump at it like a fish.
Well, how about us?
How about us?
- Peg, honey.
I love you.
I'll write to you,
we'll keep in touch.
Everything's all right,
he doesn't know a thing.
He simply likes the way I've
been working, that's all.
- Refuse, refuse to go.
- I can't, it's--
- It's more important than me?
- It's for you.
- John, please!
Please.
- Oh, hold it!
Hold everything.
I have to go to Chicago.
- Chicago?
What about our trip?
- Oh, they fouled
up a deal out there
and they want me to come.
You'll have to explain
to Jennifer and Glen
that I'll be along
later in the week.
We'll still have more
than two weeks together.
- They'll be very disappointed.
- Are you ready to
leave right now, John?
- I think so.
- Well, if I'm going
too fast for you,
just say uncle.
Look.
I want you to take
the limousine.
I have some papers I want
dropped off at the plant.
Peg, you and I will take
a cab to the airport.
There are some things I
want to talk to you about.
Are all the servants gone?
- All but Ralph and the driver.
- Good!
Isn't this fun?
Everybody's taking a trip.
John, you want to take a look
at these papers a minute?
- I'll finish packing.
- Now, look.
This is for Harmon
and Dickinson.
[dramatic music]
- Bye, John.
[dramatic music]
Oh, Ralph, you can put
the bag in the cab,
and there's no need for you
to wait around any longer.
Mr. Beale and I are
the only ones left.
- Very good.
Have a good vacation, madam.
- You too, Ralph.
[bell ringing]
[car honking]
Take me to the airport.
[dramatic music]
Operator, I want to
call Rome, Italy.
Person to person
for John Cochran
at the Excelsior Hotel.
- Calling Ted?
[chuckling]
- No.
The weather bureau,
I called the weather.
- Down here?
It's always the same, sun.
Why don't you call Ted?
I'm sure if you work
on him, he'll get away.
- No.
- He's been gone a week
longer than you expected.
- That wouldn't work, you see,
he's very busy.
- Wouldn't you
like your Aunt Peg
to have your Uncle Ted
come down right away?
- I'd rather not call.
- Oh, please, Aunt Peg.
My teddy bear misses Uncle Ted.
See?
He's crying.
See?
- [Ted] I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you--
- Stop it!
- [Ted] I love you!
[screaming]
[dramatic music]
- Thank you.
- Thank you!
Can I bring them in?
- No, no, no, that
won't be necessary.
- Okay.
[dramatic music]
- Welcome home.
My, you're looking well.
Something wrong?
- No.
- How was the country?
- It was fine.
- Did you miss me?
- Yes.
- Sorry I couldn't make it.
The deal got very complicated.
But I do have a
surprise for you.
Here.
For you.
Open it.
You like them?
They're something, huh?
Every one is perfect.
I kept the oysters
working overtime.
- They're lovely.
- Come on, let me
put them on for you.
- No, why don't we
just go upstairs.
- Oh, come on.
What's the matter?
Have a rough flight?
You look a little upset.
- I'm just tired.
- There.
You know, you're the
only person in the world
who could do them justice.
I picked these up for
you the day that we left.
I wanted to give them to
you down at the country,
with the Arnolds, you know.
- You picked them up?
- Yeah, that's why I didn't
go to the airport with you.
I told John to tell you
that I'd taken the papers
down to the plant myself.
Well, you'd been
complaining that John
had been doing too
many things for me,
and I thought that this
was important enough
for me to deliver in person.
So, I took the limousine.
- You took the limousine
and you left John--
- Yeah, I left John
upstairs to, you know,
sort of straighten
out the office.
And then I took my bags and
went to the airport from town.
I hope you didn't
mind that I didn't go
to the airport with you.
Ah, what a time, what a time.
What a three weeks
this has been.
Well, come on.
Let's go upstairs
and unpack now.
[dramatic music]
[screaming]
[dramatic music]
- John was given a
most fitting burial.
He was lowered into the
grave still in the elevator.
It also saved everyone
from the disagreeable chore
of taking him out.
As for the Beales, they
eventually confessed
to their part in the crime,
and received their
just punishment.
Next week, I shall return
with another story.
While you await that event,
you may listen to this plea
from our dear sponsor.
[lighthearted music]
[dramatic music]
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