04x06 - The End of the Affair

[bunniefuu]

that's my mum i don't want you to see her who what cue

but what the powers would be same model your pal michael uses i need a sim card from it anything to take my

mind off the hellish torment it's been inflicted on me in here what would happen you know if if he was a spy

let's not think about that i'm not supposed to talk to you i'm not supposed to see you i have been told the same thing i'm not

nicking it oh yes you are i make you nervous don't i well you don't peter rumor mill has it that

we're sleeping together where do we get that idea get in i think i'll walk thanks

[Music]

[Applause] [Music] hey

[Music] [Applause] [Music]

[Music]

[Music] get out

wait where is this who are you make yourself comfortable

none of the hopes are here to take your call at the moment leave a message and the time you rank

and we'll get back to you it's me listen i've got myself into a

situation here i'm willing if everything happens i just want you to

know i love you brenda i'm the girl

what's the matter what's up can't sleep too much whizzing around my

brain wait what that talk

oz and i had we came up with this plan i mean it was

his idea really but i'm really up for it it was all in the know the naught you left uh ophelia

yeah yeah i mean it's a big decision for her i know but oh it's very romantic

and the thing is my boat sails tonight well what's that got to do with it

[Music] everything [Music]

i expect you could do with a drink what's i happening what's going on what do you

think neville that's a rough guess no idea because i've taken hostage and

you've been sent to pay the ransom how much do you think you're worth

look ever since i've got the cuba somebody's been yanking me chin can you not just give us a straight

answer i mean how are these guys that have grabbed us they work for me as and when you

yes i'm not quite as uh country life as you thought

it's been a tricky time for you out here hasn't it with tarquin

you know about that i know you were recruited by heather in london and he's your contact out here another

secret it is i know because i also work for heather's people that's our little secret tarquin is not

aware of that i can't get my head around this according to his reports

he's not using you for anything and we know that's not true you've had meets with him on several occasions and he's had you buddying up

with michael [ __ ] tonight he had you steal confidential papers you know that

his man felipe is also ours we took a look at them before he passed them on

i've got to talk to the ambassador i don't think that's a good idea not at four in the morning well who can

i trust the point is neville you are now working for me you are not working for him who's he

working for tarquin was always working for tarquin

he told me he was trying to find out what the chinese would bid for some new smallpox vaccine

that bit's true but not for the benefit of the brits he's freelancing on the open market i'm

sure he's planning to put aside little nest egg in the cayman islands and shag himself silly in the sun where

does this leave me we need to rumble him there's quite a lot to talk about

shall i see if i can rustle up some

sandwiches [Music]

what

it's only five huh

oh did you do the dirty deed never mind that my listen this scheme you've hatched up with chrissy are you mad

no well it's up to ophelia well if she says yes she could be on

your chris's board by tonight childhood memories trip to the dentist

grey's knee in the schoolyard germany we thought the hut was a prison

settle for it now don't do anything different if tarkin wants to meet just play along

tartling said it suits his boot at the bango furry took the attention away from me he

thought is that what you all think no we want him out there

and why are they bringing all this heat down on us and his girlfriend what's that all about that's not the authorities that brothers behind that

a brother he has connections in the ministry but this is purely personal it's not

political he doesn't want ours as a brother-in-law i could see his point lad i used to

think life was simple get up go to work make a few modest

gains for your family you knew who you were who your friends were life's not like that is it it's complex

and devious

oh hello i'm sorry to call you but i can't

get never on his mobile thing is he left this message for me and he sounded very strange

i've gone out early with a bed hang on brenda just just calm down pet right what do you mean very strange let

this peculiar message about if anything happened to him i'll go and wake him up okay

no i'm sure it's nothing just just hang on that there

moxie moxie wait what where's nev

where's nev lev how should i know where was he not

were you last night no why what's going on

brenda i know i forgot i i asked him to go early and

pick up some timber yeah well look don't worry pet no i'll get him to ring you as soon as he comes in

okay pets ta-da

sorry i'm a bit worried about nevin i steered out all arnold not the only one was he did you do the

dirty deed them down

he's been acting pretty weird since he's been out here i see him with some oriental crowd the other night yeah me too what's that all about what's

all what about neville strange behavior he's getting his underwear who gives a

[ __ ] how's dennis field he's in regarding my situation oh they're using your mum right to come up

with this idea to smuggle the philia out the boat with her what and how will that work

she'd hide it in your mother's cabin and then the boat sails tonight and she gets up in the morning in

jumeirah this is just typical of my mum to come up with something like this you know the thing is if this all g*ns

pair shipped you know we're all in the clothes it would a million-dollar question

when a video go for it i don't know i've sent her a note like explaining me

playing and asking out the meters this is just totally extreme thought with danger

anyone want an egg sandwich ah hello hello hello hey were you gonna

just sneak in before you snuck back rudy again what you're all doing up

waiting for you more than what he said you want to tell us where you've been no we'll only speculate if you don't

paint blurry pictures in our imaginations oh booger off brenda run

what when well about half an hour ago she said you'd call her hey she was in the right

panic me oh [ __ ] hey it'd be no collecting timber

it don't ring on the next hour she's a debbie's dance class

[Music] showed up there supposing she does make

it to jamaica you know on your joiner there what are you going to do then

i am not going to do the visa oh man for the embassy there i'm all ed

honor i'm saying you do get it back to the northeast well how do you think that'll work what

do you mean well it's a bit of a culture shock isn't it well just quick enough man

oh man seriously man i mean look at all these south american footballers right i mean

the same for the premier league in one minute it's sunshine and samba next minute

it's middlesbrough should be like one of those exotic hot house orchids who turns into a dandelion

hey do you want to be strolling your god blood no i'm just saying how could you inflict walls ends on a

gear like ophelia what was it i was thinking pontiand

nice mock tuna with a monkey tree okay so today's show excursion is

hemingway's havana a guided tour of the literary lions favorite haunts

she should meet us at three at la bordegita del medio that's b

[Music] little we have to meet now i'm at work

yes i know you're at work just make an excuse i can't right i'll try and see it tonight

all

and when you leave the double life that's what happens who are you talking about you're obviously having away with someone

you got a wife and family back here lately it's not right is it ah is that what you

think b*mb oh come on neville bubba wasn't born yesterday i transgressed myself but there's a cost

this one you think it's out of sight out of mind comes back and bites you the bum one day

i will get some work done i'll use a lady i never was being aware

where's other weight now to talk it over with the girl talk run over oh you missed all this

didn't you no hey you've got to stop us this defection thing hisses it's insane

it's like to get us all in this [ __ ] and it's not going to help barry's case is it look i've tried talking to me won't

listen to me well suppose she agrees first thing she's going to do is get home talk it over with her family right and

the blog causing all the bother years that brother has raul you are what the one that took us

to the center roofing aye let's yell after all the work we did on their gaff it doesn't matter he's got the right

needle for us and he can pull strings man he's got connections if he finds out what's going

on he'll kick us off the island and probably all of us too for being part of his stupid bloody scheme how do you know about all this yeah

because i've got connections too all right you've got connections to what sort of

uh pilates we prove is it yeah yeah that was it she told us now where

is he meeting ophelia we've gotta stop

it well that's a dance academy they must

have met within walking distance so just find out

[Music]

okay mom what are you doing here why aren't you at work because of you

listen this deal with us and ophelia just ain't going to happen chrissy what do you mean mr lunacy what were you and i was

thinking don't shout at me i'm not yes you are you're always shouting at me look they're in love

they deserve to be together i i've got it all sorted they can stay in my cabin yeah we know all this

but when her brother finds out a whole ton of crap is going to land on our heads i was just thinking of them i know mum

but you were way out of line well i'm sailing tonight so uh you'll be

well shot of me come on don't be like that i mean you'll have a good trip and you'll enjoy

jamaica go visit uncle percy

do i get a hug of course you do

[Music]

[Music]

i cannot do this thing else you must know that to change my whole life in six hours

is impossible

seemed like a good idea yesterday this is not about what i feel for you

this is about me my family my work my home yeah

i suppose it was a bit uh reckless

you're a crazy man you are zorro you get the mask and the cape and you

carry me off to the mountains across the sea was what i had in mind

what did my brother say to you last night i didn't talk to him about this

i will talk to him he has friends what if they won't help then i will go

to the ballet and say will no longer dance no you can't do that yes i can these

stupid people telling me who i can't be with

you've got some bollocks but i'll give you that

when you're up on that stage you know dancing you look so

fragile but really you're made out of tungsten thank you

where can i rent a cab

[Music]

well you're doing it we're all in town looking for you you've got to abort the whole thing off all of murray bummer it's not gonna

happen oh thank god for that i can't expect the lassie to just

up sticks like that man even if the ultimate prize is newcastle

i will sort something else going to talk to what brother us it's a brother who's behind breaking

the pair of you up what what about that b*stard that ravel

didn't fly no wrong with this when i was up on his roof woke me bollocks off did he overprotective very latin very sad

devious well there's no harm done you know if she got on that port man it would have been catastrophic

i don't know how i ever let your mother take us into hang about she said it was your idea

well yes brother why didn't you talk her out of me what you didn't tell his mother four o'clock in the morning all right you and your wild night are

passing here look it was a personal private moment between two adult people

all right let's fill it up but i'd be hugging off with you mother

[Music]

oh bullock got his here we're gonna tell him

[Music] going out for lunch now early no no no

we've been able to kick around in the park football you've got to stay in shape in this job you know you know i'm bringing the ambassadors

away from it yes yes i do this job better be in shape and on shed your boys start

[ __ ] around and you'll be back on a building site in the northeast anyone want that no no no

better walk me through the side dennis yeah right oh i've got a message from proof for you

neville oh yeah she wants you to meet her at the drama society tonight

the drama society they're holding auditions at six for she stoops to conquer

all right fine dennis

[Applause] she stoops to conquer what's that

it's a plea isn't it yeah me and tina's trying out for that when'd you get this age oh i've always

been interested in drama have you not had my knowledge now i was

90 poor in the school mercado now it's hanky-panky with pouchy peru

look i'm not allowed to have a private life for me on something i do just for myself i mean

what do the rest of you do with your lives sit around getting boozed up make bad

jokes talk about football so how's us taking it all then

we'll look better after being thrown in

is that what you're saying well i just think it's their problem you know they should sort it out themselves

all right then what about christy and dennis

will you want to see me when you come back to england well it's not for a whale yet that's not an answer were you happy

about what happened between us of course yeah well why wouldn't you want it to happen again

i'm pushing you i know that's just my way and it's too late to change

okay i'll put this one down to the rom and the sun and blame it on the bus and

all that no no no it's not that just didn't help my situation you know knowing there's six pairs of eyes watching over every move and one of

them is your son

would i get back to england there i'll be your building on

did you take it from there

very now let's leave it at that

so when will that be then

i know the strange reserve of his temper is such that if abruptly informed of it he

would instantly quit the house before his plan before our plan was ripe for execution

but thank you i have another line we must move on let's hear tina and her

friend yes

i don't think i got the part you were nervous

it's because something's missing from the documents you pinched how do you know we extracted it

you did what did it tell you what the chinese are bidding so

and you got everything you need to know not quite but i know dark was going to shock this

too and we don't know how much he's compromised us before so here's how we'll play what accident

how to describe this happy meeting rather let me ask the same question how are you going to tell ophelia i want

a brother i don't know i can't risk ringing the dance players again

if you ask me issue that sleeping dog's life for a while why good idea i'll play their game

make cars need contact knee notes and then when a guard's down i'll whip

in whip ophelia off out of the country somewhere get married married hi why not we've

just not yet but when the time's right this isn't vegas you know

you need a permit here for everything and if you're lucky enough to get one you need another one ophelia can handle up man she's a prima

donna or whatever they call it would that make you a citizen i don't know but i'd be marrying a cuban

national wouldn't i so they couldn't argue it's a hell of a change i could handle it then

i like it here like the people like the music love the drink don't you want a g*n back

home well of course especially you know we're being in the champions league

right i'll get some drinks this isn't over yet

[Applause]

why couldn't you see me earlier i couldn't okay it's the panic

you didn't get everything i wanted saying he didn't do a good job but there's a crucial page missing from

the document oh no i've got it what

i kept it back what are you up to neville

heather ran me last week from london spook house

why he said sorry i haven't been activated but it buys me

time in other words she knew sod all about what we're up to

did you tell her good

well done you see neville in this game you can't always let the

left hand know what the right hand is doing nice try but bollocks

we're gonna hope this around right is it the yanks the swiss are you just up to the highest

[Applause] bidder [Applause]

who put you up to this what do you mean for christ's sake you're a thick bricky

from jordyland not as thick as you think when you've cut me in i wouldn't be a

britney anymore cut you in i i want to meet your contact

i want to hear from him what he'll pay for what i've got [Applause]

she's at the dance academy do you know where that is see yes okay now make sure that you get this

because it's like much your import time there it's no problem sir no all right cheers amigo okay bye

[Music] adios

well just that there was something very important but we'll have to discuss it not i would be around this earthquake

tonight on bended knee something like that

good to see you guys play me

oh yeah i feel like she looked like it too you know

oh yeah

i can't eat the food in here no i just think except

you know and stuff that chrissy brought in she's a character chrissy guy

hi quite a character she's gone

i wonder if i'll just have sex again you'll have everything again my buddy oh

yeah now i was thinking in the middle of the night i already miss our heart to hearts

you're very good to me very patient didn't you unload me psyche well you did

i'm here with your body that's not gonna change

there's a rumor that i'm gonna be transferred to an ancient fortress on the other side of cuba

forgotten man big beard down to me there you say living on c*ck

right buddy here's what i'm going to do i'm going to go back and i'm going to round the ladder i'm not going to go

to the embassy and we'll pull the ambassadors off should i bear if i have to we're going to tell them that unless they get you out of here

we're gonna down tools and we're gonna go home or if it doesn't work

or you'll be out of the job wouldn't you they'll still be in here

i was thinking of writing to tatyana right you know so she knows that i

forgive her why would you want to do that

just to make me peace you know i don't think i'm ever going to get out

of here

i'm scared

[Music]

uh [Music]

so [Music]

hey [Music]

you're not supposed to see my sister i'm here to see you

can you feel any rain on your head raul what no no or a draft whistling up your

a*s no because me and my friends fixed your roof fixed the holes in your walls came

around here in our own spare time and fixed everything we are very grateful for this yeah

you've got a strange way of showing it paul you know if you had a problem with me seeing your sister

why didn't you just say it to my face yeah then we could have sorted it out man

manu instead of all that bollocks with pebbles and shells you know nothing of

santeria i know why you invited us to that fiesta you hoped would all get whacked

yeah walloped disgrace for ourselves and get sent to him well my mate buddy was the victim of that

and he's in jail get this out of my hands bollocks it's your fault he's in there

and you have the power to get him out i wish i had that power

you had the power to bollocks things up between me and your sister

every nerve end in my body is telling me to do one thing smash that

right into your teeth but i'm not gonna do that

no i'm gonna make your proposition roll you use your connections to get barry

out the jail and i'll not see your sister ever again

well you will make this promise yes

you b*stard i will

[Music]

what is going on a mom brings me a note

then i see you at rehearsal and you [Music]

disappear [Music]

in your notes you say you have something important to tell me

what is that [Music]

i wanted to say goodbye

so

[Music]

they're transferring me aren't they tell them i don't want to go luis

i like it here i got used to it tell

them [Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Music]

oh [Music]

thank you what's your gracious no you've been very kind but very

understanding bueno fortuna come on bob we've got a

little waiting for you all right

at least it will be once you've had a bath

i've got it um what doesn't k*ll me makes me stronger sounds like you too

i it was a philosopher but a bit of trouble in it i mean everything is you know i mean i i went

through the whole catalogue of emotions you know disbelief panic paranoia but

but i'm still here you know i'm not going to wake up in the middle of the night the abj b's i survived you know you

go through a thing like that what else is ever going to possibly bother you anymore baldness relocation

it's true though sorry through adversity i mean find something in injury didn't know existed yeah i don't know prison improved me

did it hell well it's like barry said i found an inner strength and i took a

sheet metal course i'll tell you what name buddy you'll not

need that string anymore not the silver bubba too you're right there mate now i'm just

gonna wake up every morning and say it's a beautiful day now that is youtube i know that one when

i was inside i promised myself something i said when i get out of here i'm going to do things i've never done before

you know i like climb kilimanjaro take tango lessons go and gliding no we all should

break down the barriers of the bowser and the hoods and in british life of a capital l

better take this outside it's been noisy in here i'll give my love to brenda

i'm not sure that was brother i was going on there

have i been missing something i've got a guinea pig but i think you knew that

i'm not hearing it

what do you want you should be pleased to see me come with me nate i want to ask you

something about your mates neville before we go any further do they know what you're up to

of course not not even one of them give you some backbone a bit of moral

support you don't strike me as the lone ranger yeah well i am

look i've got a wife and three kids that's why i have to work all over the world i'm sick of it i want some sodium money

in now do we have a deal or not

saturday you can meet the third party i'll let you know when and where oh

oh did i have him

[Music] oh

hi so what's the situation with the the lovely failure it's finished

we say it's over kaput

oh that's a shine oh it's a shame that is because he was

smitten what you'll finish with ophelia he comes out the nick

and my brother's got friends in high places am i connecting the right dots

didn't have a choice monday not after i saw him in that [ __ ] tour

it's a hell of a price to payment

um i'll put it down to experience here

that's what you get when you don't get what you want

what's this it's a shape meeting well enough keep i was gonna grab a quick show before i

get off somewhere no i won't keep sit down

what do you want to talk about about you nev the object of this meeting is to talk about you it's like if you were a drug addict this

would be an intervention that's what they called it to say now you sit there and we tell you what an

awesome you've been i don't have to listen to this yes you have

look you've been acting very peculiar ever since you got here and we all know you're bonking that pro

hey that's my concern no it's not man look we all know brenda

you're the last marriage left man what's going on and then there's all that other stuff what other stuff

him and me have seen you out with chinese people not that we got anything against chinese people mind it's just very strange that

you prefer to go out with them and not with us and tina said you've been hanging out with that talking bloke all the time

what you and him got in common eh what about this mystery phone call brenda i mean she's only like you've been kidnapped or something

look there's reasons for all this but it's personal it's private uh mary's

there is never but how do you explain this yeah

where'd you find that oh under your maples you've got no r*pe

come on throw my things your things hold on a second i'm not exactly sure

what that thing is that is the manual souvenir shirt from when the wounded champions league

you were in a bar one night he told me not to tell none of you why'd you do that nev hi what would have

driven you to that kind of deception

all this time then we've been living with a closet my new fan

look if you remember i never wanted to come on this job leave home again but when i went to the

lake district with the girls you know i was approached by british intelligence

nice try now but you'll have to do better than that look it's true man why do you think i'm here it's

the only reason you love it here see i turned them down then they said

that if i played ball we'd get the gig i'm not supposed to see any of this to you

i've signed the official secrets act if you blab about this i could be shot for treason or whatever

it is they do

you're really serious aren't you why do you think they changed their mind about us

well you did that you went back in there and i made a phone call

and the only dated a complete one yet in the time it took us to get a round of drinks in

bloody hell never spy i've hated every minute of it lying to

only you lying to me wife why they pick on you neville i suppose

because i'm the least lately just ordinary not anymore you could write your memoirs

they might only publish them in australia then i'm not even very good at it i had the

doctor blocks drink one night you know not no drops go away

else teeth that's bloody hardcore i'll try it myself

[Music]

i'm glad this is happening really [Music] it's been a terrible stream

[Music] i'm really glad you did this really

thanks let it all come out now don't hold anything back i think this is

where we should all vlog

[Music] you look like you're bloody sopranos

[Music] big relief doorway yeah

i bet you feel like you've just passed the bowling ball oh something like that

okay see now yeah you want speed this time mate

that's me off wishes look what's the plan exactly well we're meeting in the square by the

cathedral they'll have some cameras somewhere i think they're trying to flush out targets contact and then color them both i

suppose anyway i've told them after that i'm done there he is navs of steel and ice in his veins the

comfort and bulge of a smith wesson tucked under his left armpit the name's hope

neville hope piss off the marks i button it bluefield i know you go now oh i'll be having a

drink with a lot tonight but i'm not [Music]

do [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

it's done he's leaving stay with until he reaches the car

ah we've lost him oh [ __ ]

i can see him clear

[Music] we can climb up that oh hang on man that

scaffolding's here to hold the building up climb up that could fetch the whole lot coming you know well that's the only one

we're going to find out

[Music]

oh [Music]

are you working with

who are you working with have you got your phone on your phone hi give never belt oh

ah where's that coming from

[Music]

over here [Music]

now you will tell me who caught you on the telephone

tell me my friend go call you who knows about you come on i've already told you guys

tell me

[Music] oh yes and where do you think you're going

what is your common intervention now let's talk about this week [Music]

you've already got a photo id of tarquin's contact he sounded american he is

name's frank chesser what is he wheeler dealer middleman he'd be the one

who'd shot your info to the drug companies so who put them g*ons onto us tarquin

cutting you in must have pissed him off against his principles

what will happen to him nothing good neville what happened to me i want out i really

do no more than you deserve and uh

thanks neville sorry we nearly blew it today

fortunate wasn't it that your friends were around yeah coincidence

no idea why they were there at that precise moment they went to the fiesta and they want me

to meet some women i should think [Music]

you know when someone's done something like you haven't have the government usually rewards them you mean reward well you know something

off the owners list obe kgb mgb something like that

no no no no that's perfectly possible nev they wait a few years like then your

name will pop up on the birthday's honest list or they'll describe it to something else of course services to bricklin

yeah you could have your own coat of arms never the brickley is armed

i mean you're brenda she fancy a day down the palace wouldn't she got a spring for a new hot nev it's not

gonna happen man [Music] kenny if it did go put aye

it will stick with escort e.d well made i'll end up with summit yeah i'm in no hurry to leave cuba yeah

we need it well i still think we should do more to absorb the cultural heritage of this place

take advantage of it over here bought my smoke cigars and we drink rum

and moxie races guinea pigs what else is that i was thinking more of something that would initiate us into the ritual of cuban more

[Music]

[Music]

foreign [Music]

foreign [Music]

is you