02x01 - The Return of the Seven: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

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foreign [Applause]

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oh you left this picture for life prior to play so i expected all your mental faces are you regular all right okay then

absolutely still then please oh late lovely ah put it away i was just

not funny hey barry can i offer you a word of advice i've stopped now ryan please thank you very much right absolutely

still then lovely right lovely lovely and

right busting what i was going to say to you was if you took the lens cap off you take a better picture wouldn't you

ah flip in there

okay take two hey

no no no we've all got to be in it george it's the posterity this is

my hair is he taking the photo oh yeah you don't have to focus and the

exposure's automatic you just press that button there all right

well personally i have no desire i'm a memento or this couple so you don't need to send me one of these snapshots aren't

it yeah well it's not the place is it it's not like it's comradeship i needed it

oh no look i wasn't looking [ __ ] i'm on here taking photos please

see the back of each other barry are you waiting to see much i'm saying there'll be times when we look back on this place of

affection i'm telling you i'm telling you mate we had some busting times though didn't we

no

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all over my own

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huh [Music]

oh [Music]

so

[Music] no one says

[Music] all of the chances

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then you realize no one cares

but we're going to get it right this time

but we passed the point of no return

and we're never going to go again

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break it down

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then it's time we took that ride [Music]

but we're gonna get it right this time

cause we passed the point of those

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again

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i had great misgivings about joining you in the falklands mate well i've seen the pictures on the

television and i read all the papers and stuff i knew there was no amenities because what i was really worried about

about this animosity from the locusts towards the itunes workforce now we get any trouble on the bennies do

it benny's benny and crossroads yeah all right benny man you know the duck

egg the thicket he's the stupid one isn't he yeah well that's what we call the locals oh yeah oh i say yeah yeah of course the

other thing like was some of our lads got a bit potty out here you know the solitude in the window

who told you that i think it was the sunday people actually i was reading he said paradise some british blinky that found

some old argentinian machine g*ns and we're absolutely berserk let them offer each other yeah you'll

always get your keys in a lunatic

do you like a bit of sport barry yes i do actually especially table tennis and we have

races don't we us oh hi hi we're deep buddy hi just about

a 10 spot me k*ll a bit of time you know are you up for it yeah yeah caffeine bit of fun anything all right

[Music]

dude

start here right and we'll finish just at the opposite side of the main field right cool

[Music]

well that's the best thing to do bunny lad

brenda working and everything uh it's a kenny hayley i'll make hi hello

no nothing doing there pets

still didn't bother your little heated [Music]

boats

donuts yes

oh hello nev i haven't seen your pages no no i've been pretty busy later now all

right let's see that hey yeah how's the bench must be getting on i haven't seen that since uh

yeah since a christman hi well yeah i'll hear you i'll get you in we'll have a jar right

hey when you get the jack

well what do you think what the highlights took you long enough to know what's

supposed to be the airport 12 o'clock you know

there's this new girl works there she thinks i look like stevie nicks who's he what yes you belong

here these things drop the zippers would you then what for

i want to get some suntan well you can get someone more beard i've got plenty there haven't there they may not have made canes and i'm not

taking any chances i've got a very sensitive skin you know remember when i was eight when i came back from florida i was in agony

[Music] one or two things to keep things on the boil if the brewery ring up above the

contract and the squash club put whole wood onto that using a picture and if there are any questions come up about the cash flow problem on the

jurgen jordan health club you just keep that one okay apart from that bob's your uncle finish it

we'll do mr president i'll have a nice time sir [Music]

dennis the traffic's m*rder

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keep an eye on charlie skinner dennis's he knows i'm always a devious little bugger so show your face around there

make your presence feel okay you said i had to remain about your mother what your mother

oh yes i ate dennis the old lady's birthday on sunday so uh she'd love to visit her sister would you

give it a wee bit of fresh air pick it up for a bit take it up the tweet somewhere very very cute lovesbury

enjoy the coffin oh well if we get on the coast dennis you know what marbella is like this time of year

it's the cat who feed the cat we'll say to it excuse me stuff your

husband's outside i'll not be a minute this is being rich

i've never been in hospital in my life

hello never pet hello debbie has daddy been taking care of you hey is this you what bubman tournament

b who of course it's me it's not bob hope what oh is this oh gilmore what's roger

dr gilmore it's mixed doubles isn't it oh is it i wish you a g*n oh neville i'm not

through i've got that much paperwork to get through with i'll be hitting seven at least oh will i keep her up for you or what

no she should be in bed by half past six have you got something ready mashed bananas what about yourself

mashed bananas and chips i expect oh neville i'll be home as soon as i can well i can't come back for your mind

no don't worry tim goes my way he'll drop us off tim dr phillips

see you later then oh neville i forgot to ask how'd it go at the site it didn't

[Music] [Applause]

so there are something to just tell me why

what's the city that just told me they can't deliver the radiators till the end of the month but i'm going to want to trevor i tried

i think that i know

[Laughter] if i have the radiators i can't start they're decorating i come later

he'll get the roof on before you stop worrying about the car piece

it's a nightmare i said the hazel was back in january hey as i said by the time your wedding

day comes around the home of your dreams will be already awakened for you if it isn't i don't think she'll marry

me piano a place this size could house about eight homeless families

oh don't give me any of your militant claptrap trevor setting book to buy this place

who are the falklands not just a fork and thank you i was in germany for ads

yeah we roughed it we did do [ __ ] off in january there's no picnic i can tell you mates

[Music] look at this desperately looking bunch

do you mind sort of the earth these lads we were known as a magnificent seven

oh what about germany no in our hearts amongst ourselves like oh yes that's b*mber

stronger than ox gentle as a kitten wayne oh no for oil i was safe from bavaria to

the ball tickle this one mate that's uh that's dennis it was our anchor trev

and uh yes that's neville yes next to me bit of a warrior nev would i give you the shirt of his back

i think of it i think this is his shirt excellent who's that mad looking maniac there oz he was in the falklands with me

first person to be thrown off the island since we saw the orgies off oh last one's mock say it was an arsenic

from kirby ah happy days

how long is it since you see these mates are yours then david took your picture see you really close it's not like that

friendship fortune adversity that's it's there for life that is look each one of us knows that if the

chips were down if you're in dire straits like all they'd have to do is to send out an sos and the others were down tools and

comrades [Music] i'll tell you something you ever want to

get this place finished yeah i better look your mates up again

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come on

what time did you get in last night i can't remember i heard a taxi it must

have been at least four normal i hate to spread with a picture

listen when you're in my house you'll eat what i give you

here could thanks very much

you don't look too delectable yourself norma

[Music] come on

hello hello nev no no i'm not i'm not staying anymore no

no i'm staying with my sister hi buddy no i've never heard from bravery

edges i'm sure you've written to you and all because it says there he's wrote all a lot all right well vera when he sends me the

post when she feels like a dinner i have no idea that you knew who went together no

not for a while now that's why i'm stopping my sister i'm really sorry mate

wanna watch his leg this hazel while he's intended

[Laughter] he's obviously doing all right isn't he

headed north peter b taylor building services all types of work undertaken

well it was always going with his money buddy he was called the golf with me

he might be met her out there maybe she's a sheik's daughter hazel's sound arabic deal not much

anyway we'll find out the wedding are you going like i thought i might do well do not well

i'm certainly not gunned down a week early to help him fix up his house what a bloody chick obviously all types

of work undertaking doesn't mean his own place still be a reunion wouldn't it see the

lads and he's offering cash yeah some of us could do with a cashing out

then we're not all driving around in jags that's not my car man why is it not no

it belongs to block i'm working for oh cause when i've seen you i just assume

uh can i have a paint along a george paint x please i want a short name they'll have a large not this

on it no i do all sorts of things

what line of business is he in who just brought your work former who's

having his mother it is charlie fraser ollie freezer

what i said i what do you do for him general menacing people no come on he's not as bad as all that

nev not you're not tommy price his brother ward ali fraser

he sent two of his blokes on there to smash him up in front of his wife and ben you don't want to say that little bit louder than her if you know i think

some people in the snow didn't catch all that sorry dennis it's just i never saw a

bloke like you working for a bloke like him oh i used to be a very principal ladner of newest years

those principals who sent us back the wife and the family this was the north chancellor's viewer

getting back together no what do you know may not get to see the kids you know

that's a good thing about living with my sister you know

so what do we tell barry then tell what you like i really fancied

gambling i just feel like getting away you know

getting away from flogging room building sites not a baby sitting at the truth with tour

you know i've done that i never thought i'd say this there's times when i feel quite nostalgic for germany

you you're the picture of bloody misery all the time you wrote there ah nah but it's always miserable in a good

cause i thought the sacrifice was worth it because things would be better when i got back

nothing just changed listen here oh he's in spain for the

next three weeks you know so i'm not pushed why don't we go down together i'll take the jagger yeah well

i'll not tell ellie if you would i really fancy it mate we're both a bit of good i have a few laughs what do you mean come down

early and help with the house well mate as well i think i'm just about to remotely brick yeah it will afford him

no no we'll just turn up and surprise him yeah brittany's in mercy dash have trouble with trouble all right tuesday we're

gonna choose after dinner or i'll have to ask brenda of course you

should go pet oh how can i go man what about debbie would several go to my

mum's job might come up you'll be earning money down there

oh put too much salt in this casserole didn't i nope it's lovely oh i've made better look if you go

tuesday that's perfect because i'm not working so i'll have the whole day with debs and i can take her to me mom's first thing

wednesday morning you want me to go don't you i said so pet

do you want a glass of water a couple of years back you'd have been dead set against it

well perhaps i've grown up a bit since then never you need a break pets you need to work

you must be sick of minding house and making casseroles let me have some time with your friends

i suppose you'll have more time to play babbling with doctors they're being very immature level you

want to go you know you do you've got some fixed idea in your head that the wife shouldn't want to let you

go i thought we'd proved in the last few months that we could accept change in rules

oh you might have accepted it oh never i like my job i really love it i like

working and i like doing something useful and if i'm the one who's well who's support this

support and where then that's okay because we're a family and the way things are today families have to rethink things

most of your friends are out of work your brother hasn't had a job in a year that's why valerie went back to

hairdressing there's someone i've never told you about audrey what if you ever read the word of this

detonate anybody i'll clear course i won't what well since he was

laid off at concert audrey's been stripping stripping for money we're not for fun

neville it's no laughing matter taking your clothes off at work in men's clubs and stag parties and police benefits never

right jazz got the body for it well mine's not too bad hey you'll stick to the hospital

so bloody miracle this letter never reached us they sent it to me older dress you sent

it to the steamship cop and you sent it to me mother who sent it here say goodbye this barry we were in

germany together didn't have a lot in common with him really

this must have cleared up if he's getting married still like to be there though see the

lads reminisce about all the monkey times we had in that crap you're a bit of a sentimentalist

yeah let's go down really

remove your asses you too uh just taking a well-earned break mr galloway you will finish this place by nightfall

even if it takes you to tomorrow morning as understood crystal clear say

i'll send them a postcard

it's really good mate maybe put the wedding back in here you know the reason i left this country

in the first place didn't you huh i'll tell you in a word margaret bloody thatcher

that's why because i've had it i was up there with what she created bloody wasteland

desolate me join me hope me note where kids get to 21 i've never done a

deer's work on her life honest men up the g*n who thieving to feed our families young bears who can buy heroin in a base yeah did school oh

dear but i thought nah nah nah it's gotta be getting better can it be as bad as what it was call it

i was willing to give you like the benefit of the doubt on this one you know but no no no what happens what happens is i've been battling me

nearly for 14 minutes and i'm subjected to this at the fascist

intimidation because that's what it is you know that's what it is and i'll be ready to be unpaired with this

spread

what do you think they're going to feed up there yeah you're straight up when you're cussing you needed

barry this way yeah how are you my son congratulations

always had faith in you barry no matter what the rest of them said i might think my counseling may have

contributed to this starting development i'm on my way son i'm only way

i don't know some naf

don't you start without me william of course i won't embarrass your raiser

i'm a married man myself now and i yeah two years change character barry

other than that about six i'll show you wrecking you're real catch you later

hi girls which way are you going there now do you need a ride um fish guard

is that on your way it's near enough in it

hello hi i i like it it's me listen listen wayne's coming oh he he

just called me yeah yeah listen um i'll wait here for him right

wait until he gets here then i'll take him over to my mother's for the wash and brush up right and then i'll meet you at the at the

what the wailing or 8 right okay listen kid we book a table

because it gets busy right okay all right turn off for a bit bye

all right malcolm get us a v look over the place no no no no we'll talk about the details

when i get there okay whatever now chap when you get where sorry wait i've just told you on the phone

where are you going home oh we just got here no i didn't say you were to go home vicky i have got to go

home something very important has cropped up i'll be wait about three days tops oh by the way when you go into the airport

just check out the flights first thing in the morning but what am i going to do here on my own for three days

i mean wait the pool's not even finished do what you do best

[Music] shop

tony doesn't know apparently not i will a lot of us end up doing things

we're not proud of look at me you've been working for ali fraser

we've got a nice reputation never i mean on the northeast doesn't i knew it's all very legitimate these days you know it's all solar heating

sauna bots property they still do the fruit machines you know video arcades the car

no still have stuff you can skim like you know there's a whole army and nameplate

companies and solicitors between him and the law so what do you do actually

i'm just a glorified golfer golfer you know go for the golf clubs go for

the wife go for the dry cleaning frankly never so i never kept

in touch like i said before you know

just a little longer what's up see that brock's face here's ourself on

maroons in a flash jack when you think fake could have provided us with a couple of swedish nurses

hang on a minute

[Applause]

attack

foot american negroes playing for milton keynes yeah i hope this is an oval i've been changed that much son no no this is

true god trev this is why sorry to start your son it was meant for him so where's the

lads then well they're um [Music]

you wrote to me saying this was going to be the big reunion class of 82. i wrote to all of you did not chad

[Music] oh there's one up when the

at least you've got each other the magnificent two trevor trevor don't you have to pick up those breeze blocks

[Applause] so how are you then ah busting the

parking i drive all the way oh i'm just gonna

say i drove all the way from tilbury because you said we was going to have a bit of a knees up yeah well it's not easy and i ain't

getting you a lot together a bit of gypsy in the soul of all of you mates i mean mox has always lived at no fixed abode

my letter to oz was returned not known at this address look that's from his wife

what about dennis and nev i mean they ain't got abouts are they i must admit wayne i'm very disappointed

in them too i thought my letter at least justified the courtesy of reply

so it's just us two is it well it's a bit of a letdown if i were you what never back to two or

three hours all right i just flame and got here didn't i excuse us i don't know how long you're

planning on leaving us in the car wayne but we're bursting for a pee yeah i'm sorry about

that girls um barry does your house yet boast a bog i mean toilet

yes sir on the first floor landing thanks thanks

who are they a couple of girls linda and pippa i can see that a couple of girls why

well they're hitchhikers aren't they on their way to ireland by way of fish guard wolverhampton is not a natural stopping off place on the way to fishgard way and

even if you are desperate for a pea i know about that barry but they are pretty tasty you know i ain't even in their manorax

i'm deeply disappointed a new way why because you haven't changed

no growth has taken place since do sort of marriage apparently has made no impact

at all of course it has i mean before i got married i'd have jumped him too by newport pagnel

oh still the same unbearable sexist conceit still assuming that every female will be

taken in by your transparent c*ck chill hey hey those two ain't dim barry

they're from maidstone polly so they can marry right so tonight's a bit of a detour but they're quite willing to stop over

stuff unaware well ain't exactly the wolverine to new orleans if it will do wait wait wait wait you're not doing it

here no one's doing it here not before i do

oh take your pick i ain't fussy dude you're right i'm talking about my bride to be hazel

this place is sacred to us

oh yeah yeah it's a temple barry i can see that and you and i are meeting hey it's at eight o'clock in

the whaling in a way what the way ling fine finest pikmi's cuisine

in the whole of the west midlands did somebody mention chinese food

hello hello no i can hear you but you are a bit faint who is it

mr freezer oh hello how's spain what no he isn't here at the minute

well i'll take a message if you like right hang on a sec oh just a minute

uh i'll just have to go and get a pen hang on a bit just a minute

hello yes i'm back yes what was that british airways

12 45 yep hang on yes i've got it 12 45. tomorrow

oh you're coming back early no i know that's no problem no you'll be

there this is it it's only credit tell me it's

number fifteen that'd be run out if people ask

oh knee lights on you must be out typically four and a half hours from

newcastle and a now and a half to find totally bloody crescent nice houses so tent victorian keep the

value of these oh hey this is the place he's left a note for bummer oh thomas come crying we're not the

felon dragon here are the instructions because it's a bit difficult

turn left outside the top of the top there button right so up there turn left don't drop

it later

is howdy in retrospect did you appreciate the good times did you want to say yeah yeah don't know what you got did

it's gone in the words of the song what song danny mitchell

who oh i'm good to be before your torment spoke taylor

and i need some cigarettes i'll just go to the machine and get something yeah it wasn't do you remember that big fat funny bloke with the air lip who took us

on this day trip to crayfield was great

what do you mean there's topics of conversation other than german building sites all right

i was in the foreclosure now

there he is look where i

it was a hard place for hard men to do a hard job the only thing that kept more sanitary

was the table tennis table what do you uh two players all with apollo

ping pong people dennis never fussy

herself at the wyling

ghost should be this inside the clock

20 minutes i expect he just remembered his wife's birthday you realize you probably ruined barry's

marriage so hey listen what you're going to do with them

i mean it's all very well buried pissing off in a panic but i mean where's that really

he's got a lot on his plate at the moment no come on he brought this on himself with him that brought us dicks back together that's right who

showed us it hey hazel hey hazel hazel

i don't know i was late i admit that but i was trying

to get the radiators instead i'm pretty amused you know i don't think your evening was entirely wasted hazel no they uh

they gave me the bill yes right through the card you win but it's really necessary to have four

possible sake three echo young penises as always could you just let me in so i

could talk about this

yes yes my my friends have arrived but you know why don't you yes you know why well they've come from

the far front corners of the country to do off our house

all right i will go and join them yes yes it would probably be in the bell and dragon drinking p*nis collard is till

dawn um excuse me miss i wonder if you could

um really help me i'm trying to get into the uh i always saw that wrestling was rigged

if that's the case never know can i always bloody well bust orders please

i hear chip yeah what do you want there all right i'll just stop yeah i'll have a large

scotch and uh noise right painting off a bit large scotch

that's all right if you can afford it of course he went back to the family enough but never worked out is that right so he

gives up dagmar and ends up with nothing you know i must have heard him pretty hard

look lads i've been addressing yourself to the problems of accommodation now apparently there's a b down the road

there's a lovely motel half a mile past the roundabout yeah i fancied a lot of myself i thought we were all good for a curry

oh no no i'm going to give a vindaloo or miss i've never found it much conducive to romance

so dennis patterson here hi dennis

can't be for movement anybody knows i'm here i'm not honest you dennis batterson hi

hello so where are we staying there now barry's at sport there ain't many

amenities mate if i were you i'll come with us might need a bit of uh immoral support

oh is that then is it normal

yeah being breathalyzed

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you know i'm not used to jaguars dennis anyway i'm only driving because you're the one that should have been

breathalyzed guess who it was what a catastrophic

noise i'm looking forward to this well hope you love being with us just saying yeah you're bleeding selfish

you are barry what do you mean well hasn't it crossed your mind that you being breathalyzer

totally bollocks my evening

[Music]

how am i doing that side go on

oh it's not too bad it's just the to the later oh bloody hell man if you bust all the wing in man

how am i gonna get that fixed before ollie gets back who's ali

that'll be hazel

foreign

my god here we i've got our work are out here haven't we oh

i suppose the beer is out of the question it's long in the kitchen

she rang off just as i got there now cassie wasn't ever

i'll wake her up i wouldn't call her in any case barry you know don't demean yourself you've done the gentlemanly thing you went

round there good as gold what's she do she gives you the spanish archer oh well el bow it's an answer move right

but let us sweat overnight son it increases the panic in the morning yeah furry where are we sleeping um it's under the

circle better keep down here hey i don't believe this bug i mean it's one thing to arrange a reunion

i mean did you have to recreate the squirrel once lived there at least what a storm in germany if i'd

known you were coming i'd have made some arrangements why not you find me from the motorway

i made some arrivals for b*mber didn't know i've got a campfire upstairs with a dubai

did you leave your window open of course not oh

what about that trevor oh he's not putting minutes over time him he spent all his evenings painting

left-wing slogans on viaduct walls i believe did one night and if beyonce's

buggered off i've been breathalyzed and burned in the dark man there's nothing here at the tip oh no then

when i was here earlier there was a three-piece suite and a lovely c*ck cabinet look this isn't funny wayne there's

tools here and downstairs is my registered office with all my papers on files with

intelligently

somebody upstairs and he's coming down hold your horses with us

sorry i'm late lads not a bit of trouble getting away

it started a while ago just strangers together

helpless heroes caught in the dream boy we made such a crazy team

[Music]

back with the boys again [Music]

[Music] back with the boys