02x03 - A Law For The Rich

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

i know what i'm saying [Music]

taken together [Music]

cause [Music]

again [Music]

nice motor this way but it can really shift well i wouldn't try to prove it if i

were you wait this is a police car on your tail

[Music] they must have bigger fish to fry

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

hi hey we were talking all the way up about barry where he's about here in the wedding i know a bit about that

is it happens how would you know well as i was giving the lovely hazel the lift up back to her place she invited me in and

before barry showed up she told me the whole situation what do you mean probably buddy got back and found you too ensconced

so you wonder the wedding's off well looks i was i wouldn't jump a mate's bird not a three in the afternoon this is what for

him it wasn't hot b*stard she needed someone to confide in all right

she thought i was his best mate or something so what you said needed time to think was it for the

right reasons reevaluate the relationship blah blah blah anyway point is she's got cold feet well if you know that you must

have had your logo all right in the story and i shouldn't have mentioned it should i buddy though whenever i get together it spells

trouble for someone so what we're doing back together because first one what

i don't see it that way myself no way we're drifters yeah but that's because

we're free spirits rebelling against the system that wants to grind us down

i think comradeship's got a lot to do with it counts for me anyway that's why i'm here

not just to help out buddy but to be with you even you us well thank you

gonna get a donut stranger and all the time i've known

moxie i think that's the longest speech i've ever heard in me well if it was that clean to see us

again they must be pretty bloody desperate wasn't it no that monks is right

we're free spirits embarking on a great new adventure with a magnificent seven and dennis is

your bringer he's gonna put the same amount here very

funny very funny eye look we're not off to repel my road mexicans you know only gotten back to

laying bricks for a couple of months well i might as well be in mexico maybe with bloody derbyshire it's in the

middle of new york isn't it i'll be us backhoes because i was the youngest and best looking money

well i was also the most boring boss that wasn't all right he was the one that was always tagging along the other six cup i'm gonna turn the piss off

i think barry should be your printer because he's the one that brought us together can't see that somehow he's not a

natural leader he's barry all right jim's corbin because he was cool and

iconic but since the situation's vacant i'll be steve mcqueen oh now hold on i forgot about him you

chose the crowd so you're stuck with him yeah what does that leave me charles brunson in it ah

no no man there was this big fuller man was one of them nobody could ever remember his name

oh he's i can see his face oh am i here he's i can see him all right well just

let me know my name if ever you remember it so that leaves bronson and robert vaughan for barry and moxie

robert vaughan he's the one that lost his bottle but redeemed himself at the finish winnie hi bronson bronson was an enigmatic one

wasn't he deadly link

agreed bronson brunson moxie what why

because in father mutman

[Music]

photographs didn't do this place justice it's even bigger than i imagined yeah you know ali

i've always thought that victorian architecture was a gesture of their confidence rather than their taste

oh well think about it i'll come a hundred years ago or so there'll be one family living in this place

coal owner probably picture it there's a thousand wretches slaving away

underground for a hundred hours a week for a bowl of dripping and he's up here supporting claret and playing billions

after dinner those other days hey son the point of

fact i think most of the industry around here was steel yeah time's changed most of kenny ames

money came from p*rn*graphy did he ever actually live in the house i

think he spent a few weekends here before the fraud squad caused his hasty departure to malaga

the fraud squad's my main concern ally any transaction involved in his property

is going to show straight up on their computer so they can't freeze his assets thanks to a great british judicial

system a man is innocent until proven guilty kenny ames will be innocent until the day he dies provided he dies in spain

it draws attention to you i mean they're not gonna fail the notice that the sale price is way below market value that's

fraud alley you're avoiding capital gains tax to say nothing a stamp duty look my survey

report will show that this building is riven with dry rot rising damp wood worm probably

possibly even death watch beetle he's very lucky i'm taking off his hands you haven't had a survey

i haven't even had time to conduct the normal searches my survey report will show exactly what

i wanted to show my friend i guarantee that

mr fraser clarkson representing mr ames hold representing

mr fraser how do you do how'd you do

that's it

[Music]

foreign [Music]

ah yes this reminds me very much of my caffeine tilbury not so much gardens mind you on the

other end i suppose they had the phone from the lino factory

i lived in a place like this once ball x bed the barcelona press started

what's only found to do with this tent time sharing units are calling all salt internally i said we'll put

lots of bathrooms in you know our kitchen it's a lot of work oh it's a stack of over time because he wants a job doing first

so i wouldn't recommend uh seeing your brenner too often here find my mate oh hey don't tell me you're

heading for the broken homes club as well are you oh of course not i'll just be glad to get my head down get some solid crafting

[Music]

[Music] what you learn son

what's the drill then dennis we're supposed to wait around till he shows up mama could m*rder a pint you passed a

nice little pub in the village uh where your lads go down there i'll have to stop me am i

watering the geraniums i suppose

yeah oh milks come on we're going down the boozer

[Music]

hey bummer we'll let the lads make a deer trip with this man nowhere look at me dennis i'll keep him in order

painting the pie good look don't listen what you said this

place was empty cheers man oh yeah apart from the monster

didn't want to let you know about that in case of fighting your flight you know [Applause]

what do you use peasants doing on my property notice that what clearly states that members of the working class will

be exterminated now piss off

sergeant died oh good morning mrs bellamy are you oh very well thank you i was taking

jasper for his morning walk past thornley manor and i saw some men there oh well there's probably a perfectly

innocent explanation but they did look awfully rough

[Music] is this it wayne no no no the one i saw was further down the road

looks quite nice nah i hear places like that you've never even been in one horse

you're doing up again in and now what i cannot be late man full of bloody horse brasses and punters

in swede courts slurp and gin and tonics taliban bloody gym corners yeah he's right

i'll never be a dartboard there excuse me dear

what's your name by the way yeah well i need a little more horseradish fiona and

uh we'll have another one of those at the same time right you know very good food

yeah i found this place in egon rooney happily it's quite near that yeah well

as much as i like the place and as much as i fancy our wee friend fiona here i'm not over anxious to extend my stay

after all i'm officially supposed to be in a golfing holiday in marbella we've cut all the corners i know mr

holwood still has a few question marks oh i had a stellar wee bit of ping pong to do in the deal but that's for you two legal eagles this

auto just you let me know when i can have the keys and i can send my boys in and by the time you've just claimed caramel you'll have my

check in your pocket the wine's just coming sir and there's

the horseradish thank you that's a scottish name

there we are thank you thank you hey how about you get these records james lad

none they're doing me that's up to the brewery well i brought from the brewery must love girandiran you haven't got one

decent record on here man same again is it no no i promise then i'll get you all back good work just going for a piss

i better get down someone eater oh yeah but when you had empires left squire no you had the last you got any scotch

eggs no you got anything up it's after two look we've got this mate

and he's not eating so what can you offer crisps or that sandwich

we'll take that then don't think we'll be coming back here in a hurry to you

he has not bad can he drop no i'm not about to be i'm and i'm talking about main horse there happy harry the winker

are you referring to me well obviously actually yeah i've been judging by all the crap

you got hanging up on the walls anyway when you get pensioned up then i resigned six years ago

oh six years ago well that would be a nice easy stretch was it what do you mean easy between summers in

the falklands there wasn't a lot of action was that yeah vote as much as we'll find ruined here i trust you'll go and find it somewhere

else

hello we got lily laurie stop the car wink stop i gotta get out

just [Music]

there's a couple of people in the village taking lodges [Music] i expect we'll manage

[Music]

guys debate i'm coming here

you shouldn't have grown all that bother me these your lines there mr patterson hi sergeant knives that's bummer us

weird never where's moxie where's he man he's uh he's he's jogging dennis hi yeah

you know what a fitness fanatic he is uh what we've done wrong anyway sergeant huh only building a little colony about

a good ten minutes just a misunderstanding lads i'm offering me dinner maybe see you later for a journey sometime hey dennis aye

cheers hey what's going on where's moxie

as soon as he seen the law he's off like a rat at the dream yes condition reflex isn't it you know what i check and pass

this guy yeah it's a bit odd though all right

all right it's up to your charge bro somebody performed it maybe we should have given him robert

[Music]

[Music]

yeah just checking up late you know you know malcolm holborn no hello dennis who will be in charge of

the operation looks like you got your work cut out

then i've got the right latch for it like you know

[Music] so how long would you reckon dennis oh

there's a chance ellie man i've only just seen the plans need to see the architect owner i don't know these were throwing up for the

previous owner my man will be doing tonight it's a howard radcliff do you know yeah i can't

see your door being out the trade for a while i'm not a little gumbag so how long well

that all depends doesn't it whether you want the job done to first-class specifications or you're doing a mickey mouse job while

we're painting over the cracks for a quick profit nothing wrong with mickey mouse never did walt doesn't he any harm right now come over the cross keys 10 o'clock

tonight save time in the morning hey hey don't think you're rushing off in the morning you know i mean you've got to go into town open a

bank account i mean i've got to be made significant on the checkbook so i can get credit with the trade please go back to spain kenny aims will

be running a bit with vicky in one of these porno movies flashing that matching never looks right left and center come on

we've been all over the place manoj well i thought that was his armor doesn't seem nice enough

you know what that's gonna be didn't you wipe your feet before you come in the lights out after 10. of course when i was going to steal with elliott the

cruskies at 50 pound innately well if we don't fight somewhere soon we're going to end up kipping down at the house

well don't fancy that look when i tell me for one night man we're finding somewhere permanent some of us are starving because some of

us didn't get any dinner all right i'll read suit yourselves

right

what's the matter well you're best at this sort of thing yeah yeah you handle it all right you're

large enough something i don't know

i've got any rooms for you you might have uh you could manage three twins could you how many nights

at least a couple well i think i can manage that

very large no problem

well that'll be 18 pounds a night and i don't take credit cards it's okay we'll prefer cash anyway yeah

terry will give us um five pinch this bit that'll start with please

hello again

hello hello ah nev i got your gut there then yeah

it's quite nice here actually very rural like anyway how since were you oh

oh cast perhaps yeah doing me vats dodge a bloody b*mb you just no i i mean

with you and hazel no well it's very difficult to say neville really

she's acting very peculiar if you ask me i told you so i said you're acting very peculiar isil

still um i'm not gonna do anything precipitous i mean it's not as if she's you know

seen anybody else or anybody else about like i mean i can understand if it was live it's a

no i think it's all in her head actually nev yeah

it's just a matter of waiting i think

oh am i too early oh no no no no no no that's good um pull up a chair you fancy a brandy or something i wouldn't say no i thank you if you

wanted another brandy up here sweetheart this is howard radclifton how do you do

dennis your lad's settling in all right lily hi i will phone the place up the road

it's not as cozy as this like you know you can't see something off the sweet trolley i recommend the chocolate mousse

yeah we'll make some cheese and crackers whatever you like if you wanna darling

i love the cheeseburger please love it well dennis we're basically keeping to the original plans with a few

simplifications cutting your attitude is becoming increasingly

cynical i've got a major investment to protect you and i'm concerned with economies and these are hard times

[Music] oh

[Music] do [Music]

the guts are going to come out all these rooms right now this wall here a wall wall has got to come down when all these old fair places ripped

out look here we're going to put a new wall in there so we're going to have two new

kitchens in here okay then i've got a g*n in the tomb alley we'll make a start all right

all right absolutely juice juice

marks oh lads where the hell are you being i tossed

down there last night

so what's the word there though i mean i think you asked an explanation mate yeah i've been in presidency

that was years ago was it doesn't mean you're going to [ __ ] yourself every time you see a b*llet no i mean i've been in recently

like last week i'm not you out till next match what you mean you went over the wall i

wasn't a close knick i was in an open prison in cheshire it wasn't as if i had to dig a tunnel or

rent a helicopter i just walked out the front door bought it open at home at the post office and

got a boston applesfield why i got a mate there you give us a float

and i made my way to baddies she must be mad mocks yeah it's a bloody lunatic thing to do

max it was an open prison he must have been dealt with fairly lenient oh it was not a grade a villain

just got told for the old trouble well awesome yeah you see with me they know that it's a

psychological defect as opposed to a criminal tendency i also

didn't want a prison burn to the ground they were finally mucks if it wasn't out in prison you must have had life pretty

cushy eh it's still stairway there's still people telling you what to do and when to do it

i had a year of its enemy they will have a bloody sight more when they nick you might yeah wayne's right you give yourself up

and you'll be keen to walk about if you don't and you get colored you'll be looking at two years yeah i'll

take my chances

[Music] not you moxie i think i'll do it

so he's up lads great

[Applause]

i'm helen bellamy i owe you gentlemen an apology it was i who sent the policeman here

yesterday i'm afraid i thought you were criminals

mr ames uh talked about doing some work on the house before this is owned by mr fraser now oh

it's been sold i never saw any signs none of the local estate agents had it

listed of course mr ames was rather a mystery man

my husband and i met him once when we were raising money for oxfam he made it very generous donation and

then one day we opened the sunday newspapers and found him described as king porn oh yeah yes

is this britain's most evil man one of them asked we'd always found him perfectly charming ah well he can again judge in a book by

what you see printed on the front cover pad can you i beg your pardon you seen appearances

can be deceptive yeah you see these days a lot of villains become country squires don't they you know mingle with the local

knobs take up fox hunting have sherry with a vicar then once a month they pops down to london does the old bullying job

oh and then they get rumbled you see they dodge our experience oh spain yes where one gathers mr ames

now resides would you like a cup of tea no thank you jasper and i must be getting along

nice dog buff i like retrievers i would have thought to reach you i'd be the last sort of dog you'd a fancy boxy

shut up odds the old house can do with a lick of paint oh small that pet big job this

conversion really i would be here away hi see better luck with your daughters

well gentlemen your rooms are ready you can go whenever you like we'd rather have another half wouldn't we barry oh yeah nice job there

not supposed to get many visitors this time of year no not until the holidays no well actually it happens this week i'm

quite full you're good

yeah lord scotch please honor in a

moment got colder has it hi really chilly out

there no we're the rest of your people well they're still working on the house

i've been in the town you know saw a bit of business overlay we have other guests staying so i hope tonight there won't be quite so much

noise didn't realize we're being all that noisy that crude fella oh the one with the broken tooth i don't

know what his name is he was somewhat boisterous come on i don't think seeing along the jukebox is

particularly boisterous well tell him if he doesn't approve the records not to kick it in with his hot nail boots

scotch please oh excuse me

captain warmth your famous northern hospitality is it don't include me i'm from the

northeast this is the south as far as i'm concerned and what is it you're doing either building job we're

converting an old house around the corner be a place called uh thornley manor would it what if it is

well if you've got a team of lads on it presumably it's just changed ends maybe i'm just a billion contractor

still you must know who's paying your wages do you mind telling me why you asked me all these questions

oh get along with him really dennis i'm chilling detective inspector morris this is my

colleague sgt lawrence

please contact the information nurse

yes hello allie yeah oh hang on a minute

look dennis i'm about to call my flight if you're phoning me because they've found woodworm and the joist then i'll be less than happy

it's nothing so trivial it's the law ah why is it a big lunatic with a broken tooth who's your chin this time look

shut up a minute will you man look it's the plan close from the met they're asking questions

and what do you tell them come on man i've known you long enough to know how to fend off questions i've told them note

i just thought i should let you know that's all right here's what you do you ring haul would you put them in the picture this is his department then you

get your team up at the crack of dawn you get them down there look we're in

construction not demolition uh you need to be better wonderful you can start on the other and if they're after evaluation it'll all help to muddy

the waters so you're still going away you're kidding spain seems more attractive than ever my friend

because there's a pair of coppers just down the hall those walls are so thin if your father faint man yeah i can vouch

for that from last night wasn't me look it's got nothing to do with us

just a few complications to turn up that's all right well you work for somebody like ali frazee expect complications don't you i know

what's going on here he's done a back door deal where he's bought that house for way below its market value

there's a word for that dennis fraud you don't have to work for him neville if you don't like his money you can piss off but the tokyo techie

dennis i just want to know where we stand same as you did an hour ago business as usual

but if those two coppers come wrong here sniffing wrong asking questions i'll handle it

you know it is this place is about as cozy as my local in the falklands was

never

we're getting in this early we might as well not gone to bed [Music]

now the place is surrounded by the spg with riot shields

are you doing all flatly i sleep i mean you're not exactly public enemy number one is it

we were cops with d*ck playing cards from the smoke don't come around looking for tow rags like you said

oh hello there morning papillon yeah being an egg sandwich here for you

oh cheers mates oh by the way it was brad dexter what was

what a boat we couldn't think of in the magnificent seven bombers character it was brad dexter never heard of him

well no one else that's why we couldn't remember him couldn't sleep last night see

what we worrying about the lord and the cold and the rats i couldn't sleep either worrying about you in your situation

what i'm gonna do about it moxie yeah i'm sorry then i'm gonna level with you i think he's right

i think it was brad dexter ah now that's who he was man he was a

gadget what's here frank sinatra's life funny yeah where was that i don't know where

i'm not a memory man but uh apparently what happened was sinatra got a duggan one time nearly

drooned it and that dexter gadget dived in and pulled the mute saved him so that would have been it wouldn't it

clove up for the rest of his notch oh just imagine that limous boilers

monogram cufflinks realism oh

the real world i'd like to make a start here start on what anything that still stands

sticking up or intact flatten it

[Music]

start asking questions i'll handle it all right still good for my ticket all of this you know it's my third heart attack in 48 hours

if anybody ends up in intensive care to be me [Music]

i'm running surprisingly

relax move it

if this house had been put on the open market i would have suggested an asking price of 180 to 190 thousand

according to mr ames it is he's just been so friendly really that does sound rather dubious

however considering mr ames reputation i'm not all together surprised that's why we're here mr puncher well

that's your province not mine of course i met him once when he was trying to buy a pony for his daughter

i couldn't put my finger on it i felt something didn't quite ring true about the chap

there's a bit you didn't tell us at the time any of you people let him slip through the net

so

i wouldn't stand there if i was you bye baxter

perhaps 180 000 on high side

is it far what newcastle buddy miles

what's it like you think of yourself as working class barry

what i should do tell blocking leighton stone dad's a caretaker yeah i'm solid working

class well you spent the night in newcastle you realize you're middle class

hey i'm here brother

hey what are you up wayne will yeah there's a bloody queue out here you know why do these places always just have one

bug hey should be insane he'd be all right with us won't he i mean he's out with me

we're gonna look after him oh that's all very well for you to see it technically i'm the employer well that says a lot about where your

mentality is you know then

what's that supposed to mean well what do you think i mean i don't know you tell me what my

mentality is well you know in a word you see yourself is i gotta do it you always have done

that's an old sentence hey man i'm saying this for your benefit you're not touched but

yeah like shut up both you look i'm gonna handle this job legit right yeah but

al is a crafty old bugger himself well that's all the more reason isn't it why he doesn't want to bring any heat down

by some petty infringement the employment act look i have to do a 7-1-5 stamp that

ticket moxie's got neither but watch if you're picked up which god forbid they're going to ask me you're

not quite rightly why i heard you without proper documentation so when you talk about accessories

won't the eulog will it oh no but yours truly ends up in the cloths see what i mean about the gaffer's

mentality yeah but he's right though wouldn't he can't compromise him it wouldn't be fair oh all right all right

well there's a not straight elo there's a bit ironic all this set up what huh well here we are right we're working for

this block who's reputation is to say the least dubious i mean i know i'll put ali

fraser you know he's a heavy duty villain but he's outreach he's actually because he's so bleedy wrapped up by lawyers the

kootens and legal loopholes they couldn't give a monkey's job about the law the inland

revenue notes and you're worried about moxie you i mean you know without your respect is

just some low life punder who's only real fault is he against through life thinking every day of the years guy fox

needs hugs three bucks

when was the survey done when my client first became interested in the property

the dates on there i think did the surveyor ever actually visit the house

what are you suggesting oh come on it's been dr christ the ink's still wet but we know this old

deal stinks and so do you and you've even got a bunch of cowboys down there knocking 20 grand off the

value as we speak they're renovating the property we were bleeding demolishing it when we left

even if they rip up every floorboard and discover termites in the ballroom you and i know that that house has been

marked down well below the odds and your friend mr fraser is going to take a bundle of cash in a duty-free bag

to spain to make up the balance if he hasn't already

you chaps have come an awful long way to voice these speculations is there anything else i can help you

with yeah

where do we eat in newcastle

me no i just want to guard you what does that draft i'm so sorry dennis is uh hi

well i do rather need to work with him right are you sure

yes i'm afraid there is oh what's up love the locals got a petition if we get rid of us some desirables

no not exactly hey what's going on nobody said nothing about stopping work you know

well as i suspected this is a mystic building great too

yeah i called the council and i confirmed it well that means that nothing can be changed without prior planning

permission i'm sorry but until i hear that from my boss my life just keep on working i'm afraid mrs bellamy is right if you

don't stop now you can have a court order from council within the hour

i don't believe this weekly there's nothing personal in this you understand and i do realize that it's

not your fault but i'm sure you'll agree that in this day and age we must do everything we can

to keep the heritage of england intact i was brought up on a council list here in the northeast of england pets mrs

bellamy i've seen precious little of the glorious heritage of england

right same again is it i might not need graph tomorrow might as well work

on my hangovers tonight get me a whisk in pip as well we are terrible in digestive bloody curry hey i don't believe this

you know there's only one toilet upstairs three of you have to have vindaloo

[Music] [Applause]

same again please squire and uh a whiskey and pep do you mind not calling me squire or

chief or boy or mate or any other title you people are bestowed on me gotta call you

something then why not try arthur that is my given

name as you wish arthur i'll say arthur do you think i could have a little brandy on the side please arthur i think i've

got a cold coming on arthur

i'm not having a p*nis i'm telling you that much beers no rooney you're not better make that

another whiskey and pepper offer is here another one lasted a magnificent seven this barry taylor meet mr arthur pringle

your junior host good evening squire i've only got a single room and it's 15 pounds catch whatever i have to wear with all

right buddy he knew it wasn't miserable make my he's have a seat with the lads yeah nicely i think my window is on the

move oh no it certainly moves faster doesn't it i don't know why i would even just buy

it and sling it straight doing the bug what would cut the middle man do it then there's meat food here i'm afraid i'm

not interested in food never when i i've made in the proper meal for three days actually

oh hi here's a lizard i thought you'd never ask so your presence here indicates that

conciliatory talks are broken down i assume pro tem wayne yes she needs to think

things through life like these are unspiced as it were here i'm sure it'll all work out son

oh yeah yeah i'm sure it will yeah yeah but in the meantime i thought just you know

best get away like what you're doing about the business couldn't face it never now

let it slip anyhow recently over the house and stuff now no no water ramson's just too painful a

place for me to be at this point in time too the place for me the best of

i know i mean it's got too many memories now thought [ __ ] get away give me might skip me head stuck into

someone's craft oh oh yeah all right well uh if you were thinking about easing the pain

by throwing yourself into work a bit of a hiccup there on the free body just a little bit what do you mean well

well look we got a couple of problems there barry the bloke we're working for he's got the

fraud squad breathing down his neck which doesn't install confidence we've had the downed tools on the old

house because they've slapped a preservation order on it and apparently mox is on the run from

the nick so we're arbor in a fugitive from justice apart from that everything else is triff

so i've never locked myself into oh the moxie business isn't such a problem not no we're not working

no they graft me tickets here you bother that dad well there's no moxie problem what do

you mean he's buggered off again his bed's not being slept in and his tools are all gone oh hi

what was it he said last night kind of compromised you dennis wasn't it well he hasn't has he pissed up they

keep doing it clear knock it off what then didn't drive him away did he trying to see our deadliest nobody did

he just didn't want him to k*ll any of us you've got to respect him for that but maybe he's gone back to turn himself in i

didn't want to go there will you look i know one thing i just thought he

doesn't get colored on his way back to the nick

wonder where he is now why probably sleeping rough uh he's probably curled up in some bloody ditch

scared stiff bloody frozen stiff

i think he's terrible still

as he's gone i might as well have his bed

well there's no point in paying extra for a single room

[Music]

yes it started a while ago just strangers thrown together

helpless heroes caught in the dream boy we made such a crazy team

out of luck and down to them we saw each [Music]

back with the boys again

[Music]

[Music] back with the boys again

we're back [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

you