02x04 - Another Country

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

no one said it was gonna be easy [Music]

nobody said it had to be fair [Music]

all of the chances taken together

and all the changes

[Music]

the point of no return

[Music]

[Music]

you need to lift any no no i'm just got my little office won't pringle let you use his phone sure

do it chance pad looks it before he goes to bed hey you've got a bit of a problem laid off is it would get wrong quick

didn't it oh well it doesn't replace this side i mean my lads are a loose end for a

couple of days so it might cause panic in the streets our simple reinforcements

do you know what i've been thinking while we're out here i'd like to take tennis lessons

tennis i i always think it's useful to add another string earphone yeah well you took up water skiing in

florida honey i think if i remember right that lasted about 40 minutes we are nearly dreamt

and what's brought on this sudden interest in tennyson is it some bronzed australian coach

down at the club yeah i just want to have something to do while you're on the golf course already

oh who the heck is that i'm on the course in 20 minutes it's long distance it's got that sound

yeah right now hello oh hey dennis uh speak up a bit this is a hell of a bad

lightness what do you mean we've got a problem

you're going to be there much longer b*mb you want a written estimate such as the main monopolizing it you

know it's all right for you you never cut it last night did you worry is there another lavatory in this

place size uh i think there's a bug in the backyard

wait the desperate just lobbied at the window man cherries uploads

breakfast just after all of it

i suppose i supposed to be too much to ask for one boiled egg with it tea and toast i told you that when

you're registered no i'll get some marmite oh i don't even got allah troubled me up man remember what artha said

you don't like me called mate chief squire admiral petal or bacon ba*ls

how do you sleep barry okay i did surprisingly and obvious back in the bosom of your family ain't

it it's a little truth in that you know wayne now i can't tell you how much you've thought of being with me mucker sustained me at me time of grief

oh where buddy my fiance hasn't snuffed it man she's just got cold feet by the way wait

wait protein you know i think that there's something that exists between men

that doesn't exist between men and women who's sharing a room with him i'm not

talking about that all just really typical of you guys i'm talking about comrade ship not turd burstling

they are oh things are really looking for there if you give them a forks and

spoons and salvia rings next i don't think women understand that you say

what what i'm talking about conrad ship i think that's what freight

ties are that when your lot showed up and actually felt threatened somehow i actually felt like

excluded well you kind of bloom i saw what happened yeah no no no no i think barry's right you

know what was that well any of our women would have reacted the same wouldn't they huh i mean they sort of resent our shared

pot no brenda felt left out because she didn't share a wooden hood with us locked in deuces or

no ground granted but i sort of showed up at your place oh oh darling and joking full of the joys

of spring was about to have some effect in it probably wouldn't even notice too busy

at the hospital or playing badminton with doctors oh i'll throw this right

badmind my daughter this is our own womanly i'm all for it well you know i think

that makes a very good living nev yeah yeah i think a changing role for women is inevitable

and right in this day and age well you can't say them to the kitchen sink away

i i've always encouraged my eyes within her career yeah well i never discouraged marjorie from a

career i would have been quite happy about the bring a field quilling for change to her

meant something completely different than that chance to hermit changing from humping the bloke at the rates office

to humping the tv repair block to humping some gadget wild and slipwear how would you take it things between you

and your marjorie aren't all together tickety-boo well would you be with her after that um

i'm sorry guys but quite frankly i think you bought it on yourself oh roblox well look when we were in the

falklands right you never you never wrote so we never found you never said johnny morning it was when we were in june yes yes but

that's simply because of the sort of woman what's your ears isn't it she's been humping her at times i was my

back's being turned up which came first as the chicken or the egg your neglect or promiscuity and after

all the love you take is equal to the love you make in the words of john lennon

i never quite said what it meant actually morning what up then you're up with

alexander right where you been i've been talking all these brief he reckons that there's a preservation

order on the house you can always uh appeal to the department of the environment oh great

what the government what's up knack i didn't because you're gonna make the minds

wrapped up in red tight forever away oh you know i tried to give me granny a ray back to the gas peel once it took me 18 months it was not even 22

pounds yeah if we have to don't tours i can't afford to hang around here and definitely and we will not get paired will we look

i'm in charge of the account i'm your signatory on the checkbook you'll get your money no i for how long or ten

how long before ali just gets on the phone and cancels the account oh i could be a whale he's trying to deal with british telegram

probably never gets through what he did do i take it you're leaving no no well not yet if i were you arthur

i'll get a dart ball did a video and a couple of pool tables some of the amenities which you're hosting so sadly likes well you're not

hanging around here all day and i'm not doing lunches

he's a diamond our arthur

[Music]

[Music]

so

hey it's another duck's house chuck

i'll have sodium tea please and yeah i'll have one of them ba*ls as well

what are you driving him huh yeah nothing right in my thumb

i was say waking you know on this building site like i've got a phone call to say that

my wife had been taken into hospital down in london nothing serious is it alright i don't

know they said there could be complications like

well i'll take it down as far as that field if you like oh really great what's your place to you

what hospital is you know

[Music]

paddington good morning allie no kenny it is not a good morning it is not a good morning at

all oh well if your mood's going to affect your game we'll uh double the ante you are the cause of my

mood kenny you could say that i'm just a weebity peeved with you oh why didn't you like that little

masseuse i sent you last week she did wonders for my backswing i'm

talking about the house kenny why do you not tell me that it was a listed building you didn't ask me

how am i supposed to turn it into time-sharing units when it's got a preservation order slapped on it i didn't know that was your intention oh

best off kenny didn't actually think i was going to live there did you yeah i did actually you better tee offs under some people

coming [Laughter]

oh dear idea what bad luck no i was actually going to live in the

place when i first bought the trump rather saw myself as a country square

got myself all kitted out g*ns from purdys suits from decks bought myself a fishing rod and a range

rover cuatro what for you back

even went up there a few weekends to invigo myself with the local populace

invited the neighbors over for sherry

even opened a bleeding shirts bazaar the local populace i assume were quite unaware of the fact that you were

london's leading pornographer oh no yeah when i kept that stump

hinted at the rag trade i was really getting into it

one day i woke up and i thought i'd even like to win my days here i wasn't being morbid more philosophical

really i thought if i snuff it i'd rather like

to do it in a typical english rural setting preferably with a cricket match on the

village green and is there honey still for tea what rupert brooke who's he want to run

a nice mob no he's a poet kenny shared your newfound affections for the joys of

england ah i must give him a read is he one of the modern ones no no long gone kenny

died in a foreign field which is exactly what you will do ally i was set up that's the tragedy of

it i feel a wee bit the same way oh come on ally you've acquired a

perfectly beautiful residence well below the market value all you've got to do is to restore it to its former

grandeur why don't you turn it into a fat farm

people please be careful calm down i calm down there's a lot of skill on view okay you know there won't be any loose

bottles why don't you go to a field if you want to do that because it rained over the night after

and your darn is traipsing in your lovely osteoary with muddy boots now do you

[Applause] be big trouble in arthur globe

this afternoon right then we'll never know what we can do what we can't which uh know what's gonna happen for the next couple of days so if any of you want to

sh**t off warming now that's up your legs are you yeah are you yeah i've got to hang around here haven't i

yeah i rang all my come down you know yeah it may be a bit of fresh here for and that makes up the crust

and i've oh i could go on but it's a bloody long way to bristol and if

he gets to go eddie don't seem worth it yeah it's a bit of a pisser though so tonight after what i'll be through

best sort of time out as i say in those american football games which i think k*lled the fish as far as

that one soon isn't it there i mean he told me there was a good gig doing here dennis so i canceled on your

existing plans to help yout and i've been doing here what is it photo i know as i'm lit up already well

bloody plans have you had to cancel i had aliens in the fire because i've had to blow all them no i'm not trying

to do you feel that look you're being beat us for a week hi

judy which time things have been resolved look they've only found some sort of work for her how the hell was that not this was going

to happen [Music] it's going to be some nice scenery around here apparently there's a famous

waterfall within driving distance oh once you can see a tusson waterfall lake huh there's bound to be a bit of

action somewhere just a question of sniffing it out and why well if you don't sniff it don't be discreet there look we already think

you're the whale punch around here didn't give him any calls to prove at all right i'll suppose

if the question is you know what i'm talking about he's trying to live like adults

bloody great this isn't it i'm more fun no faultlings i think it's gonna rain i wonder what

sort of state poor old mox will be in now just hope he doesn't try and light the fair they keep you so warm

looks like we've got a new resident oh she can move in with me if she likes

[ __ ] on seal god nothing ventured nothing gained ain't it it didn't change

oh here man are you gonna play hey let me take that it's far too early for a girl like you oh thanks

you're staying here just for a couple of days ah you'll bring a ray of sunshine into our drive existence my name's wayne

well welcome to our unbelievable carol he's a bit of a knack placement and the landlord's a right misery

i think he took his pub when they turned him down for the wheel clamp unit hello carol hello daddy

i'll take that [Music]

what's your form then sorry what the council's here oh much as i

expected the procedures on listed buildings are fairly standard i could appeal to the dmv but that could take a year

so we've had it then no there's a degree of flexibility i mean there's no way we can rip the

guts out of the house and convert it into time-sharing units but if i can convince the council that

we plan to restore the house without changing the original facade well there are certain alterations we

could make they're obviously hello petting yeah a good time

oh listen i've left your clean washing in the back of the car oh no no i'm with the arty taxi tell you what

you'll get checked in and i'll get you some tea oh lovely thanks danny

is that what ali wants you oh i don't know yet dennis but i do know that ali bought the house as an investment

he didn't buy it to live in can you see him and vicki is lord and lady of the manor the heart still far away from her

hairdressers can i have a fresh pot of tea here please pat and another cup please

thank you whatever ali decides to do with a house it's going to take you a while to draw the plans open it

not much point my lads on the boat well not necessarily whatever we do there's a certain amount of spare work has to be done well the

sooner you'll get them to work the better because god knows what they're gonna do around here

why are you annoying my dog what he doesn't bark for nothing

just having a soul who are you people who exactly do we

have to be i mean what are you doing around here

everybody's gotta be somewhere sir about seven pounds fifty exactly

you staying in the village yes it's a bit early for tourists oh no me

and me miss we're doing a job here oh you're the world men are you the ones that thornley mama

well we were stopped us thanks a lot

excuse me it just doesn't mean you're out of work what no i'm not exactly just at a loose

end for a couple of days oh the thing is i'm doing a few things to my own house and i could certainly use some expert

advice would you be interested well i might be well why don't i give you my phone number

and perhaps you could uh ring me later

i uh bought some tea oh cheers just finished as it happens is that your

job windows only when the lads have got a ball basically i'm a chippy so hey look i'm sorry about rubbish in

your old man you know basically me and i forget a lot an house on fire well it's more than i do oh yeah

since my mom left he's got worse really all his children are a terrible disappointment to him

how come the economist joined the air force my sister lives with a lecturer my

brother's g*y and one's a health food restaurant oh yeah and what do you do i'm studying

sociology at nottingham my last year and then we're

as far away as possible do you want one of those oh thanks

i used to love it around here when i was a kid i can't stand it now the people have changed they're all the

rich overspill from sheffield or retired tories with nothing better to do than complain about arthur scargill

yeah i reckon our presence is raised a few eyebrows

cow see you later

[Music]

you're the one that wants to do it yeah it'll cost you all i didn't think he was

giving him away been inside have you does he chill

i can usually tell how long have you been out

i'd like to think it was permanent well that was delicious dennis thanks very much love

you want to sweet well i shouldn't really but i might think about it later give us a few minutes bet

nothing for me i'll have a brownie do and you've got five minutes

i must say this is a rare treat for me den where thank you norma thank you for

giving us a bed and board doing me laundry putting up with me moods

help us with the kids when you come over this place can't beat you though ah it's all right i'll leave someone off

on ali consultations with the architect well they can afford it you never know what is the difference

do you know i saw that vicky in phoenix about a month ago she had a coat on it would have paid for this hotel

ah she's done all right for ourselves young vicki mind you i always said you'd go far with legs like hers how long though then oh i just had my of

them normal i've never measured them and i'm talking about how long before ali freeze that dumpster

before he dumps you for that matter oh no let's not start on ali again i can't help it then i don't like the man he

gives me the creeps and i hate you working for him and don't tell me you enjoy it because i know you

don't i know why you're doing it of course for the benz well i wouldn't be here if i

didn't yes but you're trying to pretend that you're happy i know you're not

that's why you haven't been in touch with neville or any of your friends isn't it you try to hide it from me but i can see

right through you then i can see the stream you're under way this isn't helping is it say what i mean see

how edgy you are and you're drinking far too much just because i've ordered a brandy it's got

nothing to do with that i'm talking about the number of empties i have to throw out every single week

let's not have another route norma look at this the job i've got now suits

my fight i'm doing what i know what i'm best at i've got a team of lads we're doing a hard day's craft six days

a week so there's no problems okay

i'd see the sweet troll yeah oh christ or is it problems

whoa hold on hello norma again hello peter all right

wait can you please this is all but isn't it nice nosh yes lovely all right i thought it is oh

strawberry yeah are you all here all right well in the backboard we've been scrolling for action

did you find anything what ruined yeah you must be doing

our pets

fancy i think i'll have the cream caramel please

don't cream madden oh no i better not

nothing for me dogs can i have that brandy please yes sir the large one

when i was in the video shop last week i was talking to audrey charles why it seemed she had been chatting to

this woman and your name came up in the conversation

this woman said that you will while he frees her money what who which woman look i don't know who it

was man it was a friend of aldi's the point is is it true is that why he's got such a

hold over you he hasn't got any sort of hurled over me look the reason i work for ollie fraser

is because he trusts me he's surrounded by so many arse liggers that'd be pushed for an answer if he said hello

dennis do you mind look in case you hadn't noticed norma you can't be too choosy about the work you do anymore

especially about where are you

look man it's not that i'm trying to get it i'm just concerned about your state of

mind i'm concerned about your health well don't be

shut the drinks up b*mb

yes well what'd you do when the pub shut up i go home i'll say it's all around your

place is it here bob we bring a bottle away no no what i mean is um are there any

clubs or anything to go to you mean a disco well i don't mean a rugby club do i love

it you'd have to go into chesterfield that's a bit of a schlep in it when we get so pie eyed would either end up in a

ditch or being breathalyzed though nice place isn't it it's active

it's more than that very much there's another country around here tell you what it is i feel more a foreigner here than i did in germany

you're conscious of your work in class origins your honor i know that yeah you're working class

oh yeah yeah yeah i've always been a very good mix of socialists because i refuse to conform to the rigid

rules of society and poses i refuse or refuse to acknowledge crash barriers

they have to try to this country memory or not a

let's try join the sdp you know mate it's the party of the future that is mate yeah we're we're the old class warfield we've

been bathing this you know sometimes

do you

do you realize you're sitting on my stool right you're sitting on my stool i've

just been away for five minutes that's my gin and tonic on the bar that's all right he hasn't joined it

what's up here it's all right no problem no i just sat in this championship anything wrong mr trudeau trap sitting

on my skull what are you talking about your stool no hold on hold on are you trying to

tell us that you bring that stool out when you come with a drink league huh you get to the door with your stool on your arm he said

i'm just going over that pump pet on a paint with me stewie who are you who am i my name's osborne

what fallach i shall report you you'll lose a bit of face if you do that mate

because that'll make you a stool pidgey somebody should throw those people out

oh it's like who would you like another drink mr buzz

bridge what a good idea mr osborne alrighty yeah what is it

uh i'll have a large glenfiddich a nice big chunk of ice floating sorry it's time it's time so you're

still serving up there they're residents all right well that's all right we made it to resident mr patterson he's on this car next door in

a restaurant didn't bother dennis i'm not gonna bother him we can just put it on his slit and we can get my back in the

morning sorry look why don't we just go and have our last one back at the bar now right yes

why don't you do that oh you're still here are you

everything all right yeah fine thank you good night good night all right all right man we're going now

all right we'll not be coming back neither you know where i come from people are hospitable towards strangers

but your luck you've made us about as welcome as a fart in an astronaut suit [Music]

it's not too far just a couple of minutes he said i'm not bothered they haven't got nothing i hope the other lads don't mind it's

just i'd sooner pass me time work and then sit in a boat you know oh i've always thought work was very

therapeutic actually are you still gone i'll give you another lift to this job he's got

well hold on i've come down with there's no doubt indeed

[Music]

mate listen if you want some extra hats would you like to be interested

yeah that's always pocket money though isn't it money may be your guard never certainly

not mine

[Music]

[Music]

bye

your husband this morning oh you've come to help us out yes why don't you come in don't worry about

your feet house is full of dogs and babies

james won't be long he's in the barn would you like some tea oh good thanks sorry the place is such a mess

hello matt grubby thing's henry i'm gonna let the girl at all just two

debbie i'll miss her actually i like them when they're too they're really boring at this age

smashing hosts it's not very practical it's a bugger to heed

where'd you wanna got yours

[Music] well let's not bother

we're in the falcons i don't think you think about england

huh i i should dream about days like this

motor tunnel miami the open road sun shining on the cars in the middle

just me and you loon together buddy give me a pick up what do you get off

[Music]

oh [Music]

have you got yes a river yes it's a river with a bit of look

it'll be chopped my block my troll wanted all right we're gonna get my saw

thank you emilia service with a smile makes a change around here father's hopeless and he wonders why the

place is always empty all right good morning bob good morning someone looks like they had a good night last

night yeah we emptied six pubs i've had more exciting evenings

that game of skittles we had in a green dragon was a blind did i want it a right cliffhanger do you want a cup of tea yeah that'd be

magic lover yeah this place is on the old up and up

eh we'll be having bunny girls next it's only for the day dad's gone into sheffield so i said i'd look after the

i'll give you place hand if you want love i can pull pints

that's not what you want to pull out

you can't do this sort of thing mate without rods and flies and such like watch watch and learn what you gonna do

then tickle them tickle them should do it when i was a young and there was a little stream what i used to

go and camping in las vegas when i was a kid just like this this is the best stream

near us and i was allowed nothing living in it now

there's a one there's a one where is it what you're whispering for

the kind of deal yeah well i don't know do i

they like the hanger but in the reeds you see oh

get that cord off number four get your card off monster when i throw it it might try to wriggle back in the

water because that good to you little b*stards you know i'll put up a fate i mean cows are getting all fishy do you

want the fish somewhere but do you not huh all right great well get your coat

off

i'm stroking it slow gently

just like you're with a woman really i want mine off the bone please shut up

that's a funny flying fish look at him get it man get your cord on it oh everyone wriggling

alive look at it well done pillock i'm sorry i can't help but i've

never done this before have i well look the next team didn't stand there like a petrified matador are we

so many of these houses have these old stables and plants stand around doing nothing except decay

so i thought i'd utilize this make a games room for the kids and an office for myself

sort of thing one's always planning to do but never has the money or the time to get around to it i know what you mean i've been promising

to retail our bathroom for the last two years what do you think neville would it cost

an absolute fortune thought saw you'll have to run care blindly

they need a bit of insulation [Music]

oh look somebody coming where over there look he's heading this way

he's waving at us hi get your jacket on man rush all of a sudden i would ever go myself you might

be a pretty game keep on my guy you keep you trying to tell me this isn't legal or something well of course poaching is not legal is it apache

[Music] we don't think these places are open in

public do you people be a fortune how serious is it then well let's put it

this way good capture i don't think we'll meet the crown court

[Music]

[Music]

uh boom what time gentlemen please what are you talking about it's only ten

two ah who's your savvy you never give it a rest do you win

be a night bum and what am i supposed to do well i could get something to eat

i've eaten i went down the cup at afternoon i gave you a couple of quid you'd go to the pictures there's another cinema within males the

ultimate gesture b*mb the keys to me car now apparently there's lovely waterfall down the road very picturesque

um excuse me sir

[Music]

[Music] oh

it's more teeth there's quite elegant sufficiency

keeper between this maintenance

excuse me yes what about half an hour ago you and your

mates were down by the river weren't you what river you know

perfectly well what river did we pass a river anywhere to deal on my troubles

i think we did yes yes when we were having out walking you had no right to walk there that's

private property that is we weren't supposed to know that sir now because we're not from around here

there are notices posted you can read where you come from can't you hey just a minute just a minute there's no call for that

is that excuse me please thank you i mean are you trying to tell

me that there's all those eggs of land out there but we can't walk on them there are public

footpaths i'm not talking about the footpaths i'm talking about all those males of fields and muah out there huh i mean me and him

are in the falklands you know the falcons hi i'm one of the only thing what kept were going out there was the

thought of getting back here hopefully and walking once again so england's green and pleasant land

what we fought to preserve we weren't actually there during the hostility well they're rebuilding the land what i've

been ravaged we're by the invader well it doesn't give you the right to go poaching

porch or what trout trout trout can you see any fishing rods

there have you got a fishing rod still don't you chose oh well you can tickle them

you can tickle them have you heard this you can tickle them what i suppose you tickle them until i saw a week we're laughing they

jump out the river and into the pan is that it tickle him have you any idea how serious

an offense it is look man before you go talking about offences you need evidence don't you

right so i'll tell you what we'll do his van is parked outside so he can go and

search it right and you can search him and you can search me all right that's fair

come on this is typically you know typically welcome you people give to

strangers but i'm telling you if you don't find anything i want a public apology right

yep try the batman yes we'll try the van

oh

ah that could be robert he called earlier about the picture frame

do you want another scone [Music]

hello who was it was the piece jessup caught a

couple of chaps pitching is that serious well it wasn't my father's day i've never shared his enthusiasm for

sh**ting game catching fish or flogging pictures darling i'm going to have to go into time

all right now why don't you come with me and i can drop you off afterwards cool right

this one sounds all right the pheasant to deal with this old coaching in has been lovingly

restored by trevor beaumont while his partner nigel fox runs the kitchen

local produce market fresh vegetables among their specialties we particularly recommend

rock alarm fresh local trout oh that sounds good then all right give that a go later on definitely yes right yeah

but a book obama dennis what are you up to well

i've been driving around the countryside i picked up a joker moxie oh dad

hey i don't think you've met my sister have you norma this is moxie hello hello um

is everything all right is it uh yeah yeah uh i had to go down to london you know to sort a few things out like

but uh i got me cards so there should be no more problems in that department oh champion because the artichoke towards

me we'll be back at work on monday with a bit of luck late so uh you've tamed that rather well moxie yeah danny

yeah it's not moxie anymore what no it's a brendan muller key

brendon what mullicky dennis shall i order some more tea for

everybody yeah now i think she's about 10 for a drink in the lads wouldn't you say no to that

aye why not come on let's have a drink things seem to be shaping up all right for once this person yeah could you come to the

firm please yeah it's the police a couple of your lads have been arrested

oh good afternoon sir james i'm sorry about this well there's the chaps yes sir i caught

them red-handed oh yeah so what do i do uh excuse me sir james

could i have a word with you please of course neville no i mean in private like

those two porches sir they're my workmates really yeah and i'm sure they wouldn't have known what they were doing i mean they

wouldn't have known it was your property i suppose not see we are tonys aren't we i suppose sir

the thing is they take it in view being the lander and i'm supposed to set an example

well we could make amends oh well instead of paying the fine maybe that could help me fix your barn

well don't seem a lot of fuzz around nothing and celestia and i could have that try

for something [Music]

all right what's up it's so james and i fixed everything

i'm just saying buddy i'm not outcast anymore i don't know that knives like that with a local knob of one eye

pillars of the community

oh

who's always been a bit iffy about us being there anymore customers now though but we do make a lot of noise and some

of us occasionally go over the top well nobody's rubbish once he did kick

in his jukebox didn't he weren't too happy about that now was it no i mean it would be dawn

hold on a tick i'm not taking this lying down ah it's got lots to do with me i've never stayed there once okay

please cheer in the world six of you like no you must have put up some sort of black what you been up to well

i suppose him finding me in bed with his daughter had something to do with it

[Music]

yes i started a while ago

boy we made such a crazy

[Music]

again [Music]

different reasons left just

[Music] chasing circles and getting nowhere longing for the way we were

[Music]

again

you