01x02 - Who Won the w*r Anyway?

[bunniefuu]

used all my options worked off my dues [Music]

don't want tomorrow to be like today that's why i'm breaking away

i'm trying to run

[Music] that's why i'm breaking away

got to find a better [Music]

the way [Music]

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[Music] oh

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my baby takes the morning train she gone stay crafted and comes back

again it's an english song that done in german because we're in germany us

that way they understand what the translate the words do they're still up there well i'm sure

they don't seem fair to me probably cuts that's why i can't write their own songs oh

why can't you eat their own songs and guys

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he's talking about me [Music] keep flipping this way he knows my

work's not up

whip out your extendable steel tape and measure something

and you're getting better mate i mean ain't the first time you've held an hammer in your hand is it you told me yourself you put up your

brenda's pelvis hi i didn't tell you they fell down again did i what's in here

what is he heading over here

right

is he barbie then he's taking the t break with the charge and comes around principal i sometimes think that i

wasn't playing with the whole stack look what i don't know tono authority like what do you do

put a chimpanzee in a uniform in the absolute i was only your being my old a*s

take the national model of mine and if you got up this year let me first

pop

and i know more english than you think for instance i'm familiar with the english word tea

break look mr ulrich i do me whack the same as an x-man right

and if i do it any faster and then titles is to take me tea break what i want to all right so at the end of the day

you'll find the same amount of brick slurry as anywhere else on the site all right if this is true everything okay

the banker train and don't be shy to youtube pal

heyos why do you antagonize people for no good reasons just don't see them german's going up on

them they're not man look those lots are just doing a job of work same as us we're on their turf man

we're happy enough to take their deutsch marks come the end of the week aren't we but what's i've got to do with it what

ernie doing because we're the best hey bum i tell you he's always got to have the last word up that's what this

one's like cr*cker

i don't want to get by it's not fair to you and the other lads i think you're just embarrassed i mean

being a chip has put you at the social scale cut above in it it is not it's not wrong

with being a briggy

oh good dinner that's carpet let's call it luncheon

hello i'm helmut oh yeah very nice neville you play i see they are good

yeah very touched is that maybe hey uh you play now well i say no

i can't i've got to go and see somebody about something okay see ya uh donkey's shot

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well you're there yes let's look buddy you're fishing

watch somebody snuffed it and remembered you in the world so white solicitors org i'm throwing the

divorce and are you she is why does it have to be so bloody

complicated the arabs you know when you get divorced all the ideas

the bloke says i divorce you then he smashes the glass on the ground

and that's it he's divorced what's that oh is it the jews

what what smash glasses i'm not really know what a minute

i'm wrong they do that when they get married it's jews and weddings no i'm just sitting in some places

around the world divorce is a lot more simple not in burtley it's not already they're

on about child maintenance they're already dead dennis working over here nobody knows what we'll make

officially keep the bed back by yourself can't you i don't want to do that to my kids you see they're the reason

i'm over here whether i like it or not doesn't make any difference if i live with them or not want to make sure they're well clothed

and well fed course you do but you want to keep a fuel bob back like yes so don't you no not especially

three pillars

hi tell your brand now don't you it's the situation then man i need a word where you i can't go on

pretending i'm a chippy when i'm not what am i supposed to do well you've got us into this

a what look always either that are splitting up you would have been on your tod but i know a monster i could blend yeah i know

but you said once we're good here you'd see it look i do have a few problems if we own just now right

no that's my business right he's getting divorced my boss what one dear somebody's going to put their fist right down that big mouth of

yours it just might be me but what have i said no

still what's going to happen to me you're telling me this man has worked here almost three weeks

without credentials oh he's got credentials here ulrich but uh he's a bricklayer he's one of the

best man i can vote for that myself but he was working here as carpenter how can this be well i can only presume

it's some sort of administrative c*ck-up well a mistake blunder-like with the

agent i think not

my requirement is always exact i cannot believe the agent would make a mistake he's harming people from all over

germany i mean his thirty thousand was working over here only for the odd early half vista is

most dependable yeah here's my letter to have pfister

dated august fourth maric refilement is exact carpenter's

three plasterers five he sent four only one comes today

red players two only there is no [ __ ] up

ask him if there's any chance of a vacancy coming up he speaks english nibble i but you

always put things better than i do then look mr ulrich i've worked in your

country three times before now you can ring around all the stump and four as you like we'll all confirm that i'm straight right

now your lot asked me to bring people back that's why i brought this lady because he's top rank now

as he was under my wing so the speaker didn't want to split up though i'm sure the occasion is going to

arrive shortly when you need another bricklayer and in the meantime he'll do anything you like he can shovel fennel

this is true you are bricklayer yeah what if there had been an accident

you would want compensation yeah but the fault would be yours

i never thought about that

speed

you do not work today i must think

but you'd be all right son there's no bother i mean that all rip just wants to make you sweat don't they

it's all the same with gaffers power tripping hey neville i hear some news i'm sorry

it's your fault but i think you are happy to go home though you're not like germany i think oh i've

got nothing against germany hardly nor the place except for nato with the lads

you are married all right five years nearly me also oh

that's a picture of the wife it's not a very good photo

she's pretty hey here this is my wife ava oh i thought she's

pretty you know i like very much if you meet her tomorrow you'll come to my house

wait yeah we eat and also we drink this way you meet german home probably

yeah family okay yeah okay

good [Music]

don't know barry no none of us is so is better vote when

we're going to eat there's not much choice is there yes it is

we can have uh we can have egg and beans or uh sausage and egg

or alternatively we can have egg and tin tomatoes on fried bread well why can't everybody

just have what they want this don't work like that does it you got to you got to abide by the majority's

consensus otherwise what have you got you got anarchy look alive everyone's attention for the

moment now do me a favor this includes you away

what does from my experience what each hood needs is a leader last week when i was working

in munster and gladbach we had a broken heart called called sid anderson axel we called him and hey

was like democratically elected our leader that way we avoided a lot of fruitless

debate about who's gonna have twin tomatoes i don't follow you will in the moment

now for example one night we all wanted to go to the pictures

so i almost wanted to say the empire strikes back albeit in in german and the other lads

wanted to say a swedish sex film so it was it was up to axel wasn't it why does it have to be up to anybody

because it makes life much simpler in the long run oh we would all you know that's about that anyway so uh you're putting yourself

forward is that it no no no no not at all i mean that would be that would be a democratic decision by

consensus

hey dennis you want to be our leader what barry reckons who needs a leader someone

to make all the crucial decisions like whether about baked beans or fried bread don't look at me no i didn't do a very

good job i never did it what's that you see i'm just saying what

dennis's fault i'm talking about whose fault was it then he's the one who'd brought you here bro

me you know told me i'd be kipping in a hostel and shouted with a wooden hut with a bug

200 years away you're like a bloody kid yo you need wet news this is why we need a leader to

eliminate all this dissension yeah well i don't recommend you leave i want black stone in front of the croats

blacks don't what are you doing like asking them fear of us man you'll lay it down the terms

just remember man they need us more than we need them oh we don't need them do we not there

why are we here then come on you're complaining about the conditions you can't stand the germans so why are

you heroes makes a change makes a chair jack makes a change from the dual queue doesn't it

look man we're here because we can't get work in england you should be grateful to the

germans it's thanks to them you've got money in your pocket and the dignity of knowing you've just earned it

our precious little that back in berkeley for the last four months kicking me heels waiting for the pubs to

open picking up the bands from school because it was the wife it was earning i then watched not trying to make a

decent meal out of tins uh i must admit that was the other reason i left get away from my wife's

cooking but at least you don't need to worry about that anymore dear you what they're getting your businesses bothered

yeah this up to everyone's business well what's you having to go up there it was a harmless enough remark wasn't it

it was pretty bloody tactless your dennison apology are wrecking oh i've upset anybody i'll be the first

admitted i'm very sorry i'm sure all right there you are then that's the

nearest apology from a planet like him

feeling lads oh yeah well the name's moxie fella told me to

come to a b you sure you set up b oh hi yeah i don't think so must be some mistake

try the next one along oh maybe i better check with the gaffer is

it okay like if i leave my gear here for a minute

oh hey it's a dartboard hey foxy you alright the first time pal

this is your hut

i haven't got any darts though

oh man what are you doing in there when you got one of them dirty magazines

i know it's you i recognize them punchy

brothers

this is

you're the lad seems to respect you i mean after all you've you've been here before aren't you and that gives you a seniority to begin with

i think if you don't put yourself forward like as a candidate i don't think there'd be

much doubt that you'll gain the consensus you know where do you want responsibility flatter

designed by your proposal i'm fed enough but uh should you change

your mind like there are there are perks to take into account you know oh i like you never have to want another shirt for instance

those chores will be parcelled out amongst the rest of us you know

pull up the layer of your g*n yet on you a week ago you couldn't win it all right a week ago i didn't have this

did i oh hey that's a very handsome piece of work if you don't mind me saying so

who's lottie the wife isn't it i don't know what it is we don't know what's not his wife oh hey

the delicate that hey i got this one the fluid the lease the significance

escapes me i was pissed at the time like i just had a fleur-de-lis i'd be on the next plane

home no you can't tell me that medical science hasn't found a way to erase that

apparently not i'll have one whip foolproof what am i teaching oh it's bollocks no

but cass you're not a man industrial accident compensation set yourself up for life

what you're talking about well look he's working as a chippy right but he's not a chippy so he does know his way around so so you

know that circular saw

kind of take a joke easelet

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so [Music]

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so

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stuff

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i think you would be better doing your work than arguing the case for your friend no look

he's a good worker he wants to steer i mean let's face it you're always going to need one more brickie

there is a principal here look do you want us to say we're sorry

all right we're sorry hey honestly just said i'm baller yeah

you said they found a b*mb

that was very brave of you how did you discover this i was just fetching me bored hey is it

really your boy but certainly it is there's nothing more we can do the army will see to it until then you

will please all go back to your huts what kind of b*mb is it i would think it was left over from the wall

hey that means it's a british b*mb last supposedly i would have out that's gonna drop that

i was just slopped with flat and you locked the first place on it hey get in man will you what floor

should be proud man that is a british b*mb isn't it yes it did not go off

oh thanks dennis

[Music] hey my uncle was a bummer you know all right

ready yeah there goes the rear thomas

there goes the knocking shop yeah well one didn't go up did it thanks to them huh right now to steal out now i think

they've displayed those qualities of leadership to this hotel dispatch i'll probably be going home tomorrow

what i wouldn't yeah

didn't do much really it was just an accident mostly listen you put on the stripes you can

chisel sam right they owe you don't they that bombing have gone off it wouldn't just k*ll the driver either which was a b*mb's original

intention thirty-five yeah what about it dan time to push leto's case with all right

aye hey i'll have a word right when the time's approved here's another thing i hope i still be

impaired while i lay it up like this i mean what happens if you watch before you did take all day to defuse this b*mb

while still being paid a hook that's a moot point that is hi that's very moot oh i'm not quite as

mad as what you think am i no no you'd even matter ah well i'll have a world without and i'll

tell you hey man hold your horses will you if you want i will i couldn't give a

monkey to me

you're ordered to stay inside you'll have to pay look this won't take long we just want to make sure i still get my crack what well you can't knock time up or

what's happening here i mean i still got my jewel right what is your name osborne what for husband go back to your hat

listen i want the shirt do as i tell you and now okay but as long as i've made me point right now

please go back to your heart yeah yeah why one more thing oh god that's villain

it's a boat level you talk about neville i know look i reckon would you ask him to come outside please

what for does he get his job back they want him for the television news

where's the lad himself then where's i'm not sure i saw him earlier he went off wearing a collar in a tie oh

hey civic reception i would is he he's gone to that helmet

helmet one of the german chip is asking back to his house what the germans host what's wrong with that

what he's went to his house that's what i said didn't i why joe neville fraternizing with the

enemy is teddy no no no i just don't want to

what's wrong with that

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foreign

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mr hope did you realize that it was a british b*mb oh not really um i knew it was a

b*mb lake from movies films i suppose were you scared oh yeah terrified and

that's great what did you do when you found the b*mb i showed it at him to stop and uh then

we went and fetched her ulrich yeah he's

yes

we don't know when you come to my house we are meeting a famous man who is on the television

i was only fetching me ball

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hi i've got some candy boiler germans they i'll give them that oh nothing else well they'll be as

possible you pass is enough of it no no no to be fair i've only been out with three

weeks something yeah make any difference isn't it you could be at three yeah all your team was beer halls massage parlors

so you're getting a b again you could use working here as an education you know

you couldn't learn from it look man look holly bricks that's what i do

i get up in the morning and for eight hours a day five years a week ali epic sorry it

doesn't make no difference to me if it's dusseldorf or darling sometimes i use your time

i've done it so i mean like never's got the right idea he's he's integrating himself

man nursing yeah that's what kevin clinton did when kevin keegan went to hamburg he

made a real effort and mrs keegan they like they learn the language

and they made a wide variety of friends amongst the german community i saw how come he transferred to

southampton then i mean germany must be pretty desperate have you preferred southampton

have you been there like have you me cousin i have a question for you bye want to see me plus there when

germany is such no-good places why don't you piss off back to england

okay

buy a new bottle oh right

oh

operation oh yeah

good good very good helmut

begun

okay

yes oh you hi

it's a long time ago

oh yeah the w*r team

oh hi hi hey

my granddad was saying yeah oh i do um what you helmut's

um father father father right um your

father is helmutz gross fat right so

um my gross father is ah yeah but he was um

he was sunk by the shawn host

um for

he was k*lled larter their gross father of their gross father from this

host for zinc warden

might as well it was a long time ago

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you are okay oh i feel terrible it's just as well i'm not working the hangover i've got ah schnapps is good

it's lethal well i hope everything is good for you with a job oh thanks hey and thanks for

last night helmet the evening and they kept donating everything uh that's okay

yeah i'm sorry come with me

this young man starts work today as bricklayer oh hey thanks very much yes thanks a lot

taylor i much appreciate it yeah it's only fair in it the later what happened is our point

yesterday yeah i agree it's only fair but also i now have vacancy for bricklayer

oh i have come you are spawn you are fired

you feel terrible too much snap with it no about ours let's really took the

shine of me reinstatement it's not your fault neville always had it coming you're always getting up the germans

noses suppose ulrich found out about last night oh what happened last night a bit of a

dispute with some of the locals some of the german scrabblers what you might call a failure to

communicate oh i said the reason for the uh the elasto plus somebody built them no was that gold

from the pinball machine well you're not involved just trying to take a look

it ends right how's that coming sooner or later you know what he's like the after is a brush but he's all right

it's also underneath what's on top makes him such a nightmare

what do you think you'll do you go back home shane on make it up

with a white good owner fat ox get politic lucky old bugger

the agent will not come here until friday so i am prepared to give you the severance

page and i will get it back of him here

you wish to count is all right seems alright

sign please

if i need course to suck as you know

yes i think you did because i'm british isn't it that is not true i want english workers they are good and

they are quick but if always they cause trouble it is better they are not here wouldn't happen in england you know the

lads would all come out come out don't tools strike

but you are not in england you aren't germany

yeah that's a problem six pills six rounds of almond cheese

oh don't be dark the only ones is to switch come here but what's that doing no it's

all right hey i don't know what i'm doing last night last night don't come come on man give me beer

did y'all get the boots in yeah yeah we heard

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only got yourself to blame you brought this on yourself no something because you're always so enough for the germans they're just a canning bunch of

lads see him as the rest of us not that old well all right it's a hard news it's his job man well what could put his

job right there [ __ ] couldn't work you all had buckets up would you make it back walk off and

protest oh well i like a confrontation with the management over his or her dismissal what good you think that's going to do

well it's going to leave him short isn't it then what's he going to do he's gonna ring the agent and order another six

brits you've got plenty to choose from there's three million unemployed back up

well it shouldn't be a load shut up i mean we've got one right so we haven't got any right sauce man we're on the

lump man we're black look if you want workers rights then register with the germans pay them income tax welfare and

insurance you can't have it both ways

so what you're seeing is you won't but it's your pointy old knits is that it look guys

i'm sorry you got the boot right we all are doing so adorable well you all don't

want to char grumbling a little double stay on you with two other factors help neville ear the b*mb and be

your big mouth what look i've seen blows like you come and go all the times i've

worked in gym never been out the uk before never eating food never drank foreign

beer fish out the water without the wife or the mother to lend a guiding hand after a week

they've lost their passports they've got pissed lost most their money and become ridiculously nationalistic

for the country they can't even fully employ them in the first place man

[Music] i want another bureau's saying no no i know what i'm the one

oh you'll never learn

[Music] i did

this crew needs someone of your eloquence to lead them in a buddy piss off

i yourself

you post this letter for us when you get back home yeah just put a dude

i miss you was good laugh you are anybody else seems to think so i don't know why everybody else is against me

i really feel understand it sorry they're not man honest yeah well do you want these wine gums

oh cheers

some books

right man i'm off come here [Music]

see you then unless i see you first

they said you wanted to see me yeah yes you seem to be the lead person

well i'm not really but i i'm sure i haven't been there no matter the point is

you can get osborne back you can stay really oh thanks a lot that will be a relief tone yeah

i hope you change for the better

he's very angry to give back the job why is he no because of the germans no thanks

they said it doesn't make them look good if an englishman gets fired because of an argument with a german

really so they said if he isn't coming back we are not going to work

right thanks a lot stop the shirt do this i heard that

you've got our men is job back would you appreciate it yeah okay

tonight come across our hut have a drink

okay

come on

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foreign [Music]

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hey

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i could have done with a stronger bulb though hey do you reckon we've got enough in den

well if there's nuts easy enough to get some more on it hi hey they're drinking vietnam jerry's born as much as us listen us listen

everybody it's because of those jerrys it us is still here do you want anybody forgetting that

right absolutely now when those german scaffolders turn up the night let's all make sure

that we'll have a good night the great you're especially yours well absolutely and it starts much right

it's not the world cup or a replay of world w*r ii it's just meant to cement the harmony

and the good will amongst the british in the erics agreed yeah good

main joy might only be a darts match but us british has still got to try and hammer these germans what for because they're the b*stards

that bombed me granny

that's living all right

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in the sun drinking schnapps

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that's living all right [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

but you don't ask their names