01x01 - Herbie the Matchmaker

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

but he's bright and he's sassy when you're with him you better leave your

chairs behind it's perfect he makes you feel that

there's a rainbow waiting just around the bed

my best friend

my best friend

[Music] yeah no no I'm not racing anymore I've

moved on to bigger and better things well that's the time to expand isn't it Mr Arrington when you've got a thriving

business you know the old saying about the rich getting richer yes we're shaking the old money tree and

here at Famous Driving School Miss Harrington no well yes yes I want a loan but I don't

want a big loan just enough for uh for a down payment on a couple of late model cars to go with the other uh late model

cars that we've got here I see thank you Mr Herron [Music]

great Driving Mrs Gurney can't believe it's your maiden voyage because I'd known it was going to be this easy I

wouldn't have waited so long well a couple of smiling faces you must have done okay huh Mrs Gurney her son gave

her the lessons for her birthday 85 years old today

[Music] tell me that was the car or they'll take

me back to the home again well it's just a part of our very special service Mrs Gurney

[Music] but not about the horn

[Music] bye bye-bye Mrs Gurney

we'll see you next week

how'd she do perfect score never shift into gear never found the break and didn't open her eyes through a single

intersection nice going Herby just wait Kirby will give her so much confidence

that she could drive a school bus Through The Interchange at rush hour bye-bye

he loves making up to the little old ladies doesn't he yeah well he's making a little old man out of me yeah well

you know that wouldn't be bo if you just had more faith in Herbie now what you got to remember is that every once in a

while a car comes off a production line and it's a little bit different than all the rest

oh I hear you but every once in a while when I'm squeezing between a cement

mixer and an oil truck with one of those old ladies I Tittle for a run-of-the-mill car with dual controls

which reminds me I had to go with the loan today did you get the 10 grand

five 2500 zip huh well Dr Beau was in the know I

got the remedy right here it's an entry form for next weekend's Long Beach Grand Prix

Dr Beau the answer is no are you kidding look at this prize money

yeah yeah you tell him Herbie no bo there's been too many races one

and too many girlfriends lost what do we got a show for all these years nothing

Herbie and I want to settle down and that means we're through with racing well I'm not through with Eaton and that

takes money since I'm mentioning money what are my chances of getting paid for this week for last week the week before

I tell you what I'll do Bo I'll go by the bank I'll go buy the bank go in it maybe I

should go with you don't you have some work on that Chevy it's our only automatic smile we got a customer

good afternoon famous Driving School Jim Douglas here if you're interested in uh in driving

lessons I'm afraid most of our other cars are out right now well how about the Chevy

few in the stick shift no I'm sorry uh the Chevy is the one that the finance company

wants back well if you can get it started you can

have it

[Music]

um

[Applause] [Music]

what are you doing

stuff on it are you going crazy if you're not

thinking about your fenders think about my life and live what a drug what a truck

I'll take care of this clown [Music]

on my way [Music]

hold it

[Music] it's all over now you're all right yeah I wish someone would tell my knees you

okay ma'am ah yes I heard you did some fancy driving to stop them

well yeah yeah nice going back need a lift man let us know

I owe you a big thanks well I I mean you're welcome but I didn't really have much to do with you might say I was

driven well I don't know what made you do it but I do know that you saved my life well I

think of any life I would rather have saved I wish there was something I could do to thank you

well I I do own a a driving school and if you know anybody that needs

driving lessons well you can Jim Douglas

Jim Douglas that teach iverzed at the highest found me out you have a Julie McLean in

your class yeah I sure do I'm Julie's mom Susan well hello Susan

there is something you can do for me Julie's really not a very good driver

oh it's no reflection on your class of course but she really could use some private

instructions what about your husband is he a coward

sort of a deserter we've been divorced for over five years oh well I'm sure

that uh Kirby be delighted to teach her Herbie I was kind of hoping you would Herbie's our car and I would be

delighted to teach her great I don't suppose you could start this afternoon

I just had a cancellation good here's our address

four o'clock okay it's fine good I'll see you then

thanks [Music]

yeah I know what you mean fella good looking lady

another first Herbie I bet you've never seen me dress up for a student's mother before huh

no thanks I've got a special it's only five dollars a bunch yeah no thanks

Herbie [Music]

Herbie I'll take them

I've got a special too you know the flowers are enough thanks

[Music]

hey kid I think she's gonna get candy too

[Music]

here you're right it is Mr Douglas from

school oh no he's brought that little car that's the car he uses to teach him I

can't learn in that kind of car Mom it's embarrassing yeah I'm gonna learn in a

TR7 or a Datsun 280Z I think it's a neat colors one just like it in the circus

and 12 clubs got out exactly and that's just what I'll feel like when I get in

it Julie I owe my life to that man then you take the lesson I

mean hello come on in this is all of us

all of us well you know Julie Matthew Robbie hi

hi Matthew and Robbie this is Mr Douglas

was your circus well no no but it was in a few races before we retired all right

could it take a Datsun 280Z well I don't know but it could sure take a whole family on a driving lesson oh boy I get

a lesson and I get a headache go on kids it'll be fun [Music]

foreign I was hoping that uh that mother would

enjoy the drive she would but she's kind of busy right now well uh

would you be interested in a private lesson a little bit later it involves dinner that's really very nice

but maybe another time well uh you better take these now they

may not keep till some other time

your turns are okay does that mean the lesson's almost over

well I can't say the same for your enthusiasm oh no Jason

[Music] we never would have stopped if he didn't have dual controls where are they

luckily a car like Herbie practically drives itself

hey Julie is that you funny way of teaching her to keep her eyes on the road Mr Douglas yeah I guess she was

doing it through a hole in the floor hey you want to bring some rubber Mr Douglas [Music]

[Applause] remind me to review the chapter on road etiquette just for those two make a

right turn here

speaking of etiquette Who is that turkey and Mom

hey I'm sorry about that but I just wanted to catch up with you well yeah yeah I know today I know you thanks for

saving my little lady here you're a little lady yes my mother thanks you for rescuing a considerable

amount of money for a bank oh well I have a little Loose Change there myself oh my mother will be glad to hear that

Chief chairman of the board in fact uh Susan was at the bank to join us for our lunch among those hoods interrupted our

plans well it's a good thing I interrupted theirs isn't it yeah well look if the

lesson's over I thought I'd take the children for some treats huh

yeah lessons over uh by the way Douglas uh Point idea of

the candy and the flowers does that go with all the lessons or just uh special ones huh

[Music]

okay everybody let's go [Music]

thanks Herbie six bucks for the candy five bucks for the flowers next time

don't pick a lady with three kids in a Mercedes

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

foreign [Music]

I'll be right down Randy

my car is gone [Music]

sorry to keep you waiting well I'm sure your friend Douglas isn't sorry look what he's done with his ridiculous little Volkswagen he's pushed my

Mercedes into that rainforest Jim Douglas oh yeah I saw him sneaking

away in his car I can't believe it why would he do a thing like that jealousy

turns grown men into destructive little children how come you parked there Uncle Randy

but the upholstery the carpeting the leather it's all rolling yeah well the whole evening is ruined

here [Music]

foreign [Music]

I knew you'd be home well I didn't know you'd be calling but as long as you did I'm glad I am then you didn't just drive

by my house in my mind a dozen times I don't know why after this afternoon

well I don't know why either three kids in a Mercedes the Mercedes cities has

been canceled for the evening something happened to it my day's off

does this mean you're giving old candy and flowers a chance I'd love to don't

move [Music]

well our luck must be change and old buddy we got a date with a lady would you believe if something happened to the

other guy's car foreign [Music]

Where Have You Been anyway don't tell me I don't want to know [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

where you take a girl for dinner oh I care what are you doing here

I'm working nights they pay me money and the leftovers from the kitchen

aren't bad either hi what are you doing here you can't even

afford to have me park your car oh Jim

I hate to disappoint you but I'm not sure I'm dressed to go in here oh oh well I I certainly wouldn't want to

embarrass you Frozen

uh I think it's a surprise

thank you

[Music] thank you

[Music]

one of your favorite spots Notions High School no we don't have to stay long

at least give me a chance to finish my hamburger oh sure

[Music]

Julie he's going to make a good driver probably gets it from her father

he's a race driver cool George McClain George McLean I think I came up against

him years ago when I was racing would you believe he is still racing in the circuit somewhere in Europe

but if you don't mind I'd rather not talk about that and the subject closed what do you want to talk about

I think the car is moving would you like to talk about the move

[Music] the move I think we better talk about you taking me home

right

foreign you're not going to believe this

we're out of gas you're right I don't I would hate for our first date to be

our last

word of the Wise Guys sufficient [Music]

foreign

[Music]

you take the third degree very well placing your three kids is no worse than

being audited by the Internal Revenue Service

you've been very sweet [Music]

be careful I could get to like that

foreign

[Music]

we'll see who's kidding [Music]

well Mr Douglas you give driving lessons do you well

I've got a lesson to teach you [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

all right

[Music]

[Applause] oh you'll find out you got a tiger by the tail Douglas

Kirby the Love Bug will continue

Herbie the Love Bug sponsored by

salad bowl sorry I'm a few minutes late a few I got 8 40. no kidding see I got

uh 8 20 8 23 829 and 8 15. oh I've been doing a little uh door-to-door

Moonlighting for Alexander Jewelers uh what are you out with the new lady last night huh yeah

knock it off yeah she's a terrific gal but uh it was just another date

how can you even think of going on a date when you're practically engaged to Randy

doesn't mean I can't like someone else I guess I do like Jim Douglas a little

I like this car a lot I don't know it didn't do much of anything actually but uh I had a great

time oh sounds like trouble

that would be trouble there are three kids to support the middle one's going to need braces

and the daughter has very expensive tastes it's called wealthy mother and I'm going

to be going to college in a year or so yeah and I'm gonna need braces very Randy and keep Jim's car then

there's old money bags the boyfriend I just don't have the kind of bread to compete with him well you would have with Herbie's winnings from The Long

Beach Grand Prix and not even if I had the entry fee mom the bottom line is

he's a race car driver and you know what that means he gave that up long ago

did he really didn't you make that mistake once before a lecture from my

daughter only a suggestion mom

here are a few questions I'd love to see her again if I could get a few answers

hello [Music]

this is Jim I hope you don't mind my calling mind you just be to it Susan I had a great time last night and uh

well I must admit that I woke up with a few questions yeah I was looking for a

few answers myself first question how about having coffee with me this afternoon after class

I hope they're all that easy yes I'll be downtown shopping pick me up in

front of Riverton stationers about you got it so long bye

[Music]

hello [Music]

hi it's me Julie I warned her about his being a race driver like you said she said he's

thrilled with racing do you believe that Julie I don't know what to believe well you

owe to your mother to find out I just want to do the right thing you are and

just do what I told you I'll do the rest huh

[Applause] [Music] [Applause]

[Music] [Applause] [Music]

here we go all right okay like please

I just wanted some of you Hot Shots you know there's that little car you challenged yesterday you could take care of itself when it wanted to you mean in

his day and any day you mean you're still racing no no Herbie and I are

retired yeah kind of like an ex-heavyweight champ hey Mr Douglas fat slow and over the hill

uh not exactly no Herbie still has it he just doesn't have to prove it anymore he

sure didn't prove it to us yesterday well Jason I told you that's not the time or place for racing

how about the dragster the guys are going out there this afternoon yeah come on out with us Mr Doug so you can show

us something yeah I'm afraid not fellas I have more important things to do yeah he's got to drive Herby out to the

Retirement Village [Music]

easy Old Timer I'm sorry sorry

just a slip of the time

hi I think it's working but I'm not sure

look at that you might have been more persuasive than

you thought yeah well let's find out shall we come on pop

in foreign

[Music] well uh

I had a few questions yeah like about a boyfriend

[Music] let's get some coffee

[Music] wow much as though our timing was

perfect looks like Mr Douglas has been to the car wash how can you tell because

Herbie's all washed up

just some kids from school they're kidding don't pay any attention to it

foreign [Music]

[Music]

are you following those boys oh no no

well in a way yes I see there's some

great coffee shops down this way and we

are definitely going to stop for coffee

yes I I heard you the first time I'm

sorry I get in the habit of repeating

myself at school just to make sure that

everybody understands

thank you

foreign

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

oh no it's a drag strip

[Music]

I don't get it what are we doing here

well I

I I I've been a little concerned about

my students you see they oh this is wild

I mean they're wild they they need

supervised

one thing we're definitely not doing

here is racing we are definitely

[Music]

not going to race

wow my mom in a drag race

[Music]

well I guess that puts the lid on Mr

Douglas Julie dear now watch me drive

the nails into his coffin

[Music]

but just let me out of this car thank

you let me ask you one thing

was that not a race

[Music]

he was only showed me something

I really am sorry I really am what was

all that talk about your being through

with racing let me explain forget it you

just did like my husband did for 12

years and he is still on the circuit

Susan don't you chosen me you rice and

nuts are all alike no responsibilities

playing your childish little ego games

oh that's a slow down without his racing

racing racing why do you think that I

left him he wasn't a father or a husband

I'm not your husband either that's the

good news I can give you some bad news

some show Douglas

what are you doing here you in that car

you know I bet you stand a chance at

that Long Beach Grand Prix but oh of

course according to Susan you've quit

racing yeah yeah well it just it might

be a different story if I had the injury

fee well today might be your lucky day

see this is a little uh reward check

from mother's bank I mean perhaps

there's enough there to cover it I mean

uh if you're serious huh

I'm as good as racing does that answer

your question yes

Does this answer yours

[Music]

uh by the way Douglas you keep that uh

funny little Horn of yours tuned up

someday soon it'll be playing Here Comes

the Bride for me I'd be delighted

[Music]

Ruby I got a feeling we just outsmarted

ourselves

[Music]

do we have to be in the wedding sure

your mother wants you to be there

your honeymoon too You Were My Dead Body

anyway I'd rather stay here and watch

Jim Douglas Kirby's race Yeah you

mentioned their names again and you'll

be watching them from a hospital bed

you forgot to pack your favorite blouse

more

no

I don't know that that's my favorite

is it because you wore it that night

with Jim Douglas

no

anyway I haven't given Jim Douglas

another thought I know this is just

another race to you Jim you won them all

you and Herbie I've seen the films and

and these pictures thousands of times

but for me if it's a first a a brand new

experience yeah

you might get paid you know some forget

the money I get all tingly when I think

of standing there on the Finish Line

with you and Herbie and reporters and

fans and everybody

well not everybody

I guess he'll be racing today listen

I'm getting married today that's that's

the only thing that's on my mind

racing and Jim Douglas don't interest me

in the slightest what if you really

meant to quit racing mom and was just

sort of pushed into this race

he's doing what he wants to do

we all are

anyway it's not going to be a sure thing

out there

I don't think Herby has his heart in all

this Herbie or you let's face it you're

still thinking about that gal with the

kid Trio and the Mercedes

uh-uh no she made her choice and I made

mine

believe me I thought it through very

carefully

the best thing for all of us

[Music]

go tell Randy I'll be right down

I just want you to be sure Mom

I'm sure

I'm sure

look if you're thinking of pulling out

of this race on a kind of some female

tell me now don't break my heart later

I'm not pulling out of any race are you

sure I'm sure great I'll go get the gear

of course I'm sure

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

here you go

thanks

[Music]

we're expected at noon and I'd prefer to

be there on time after the arrangement's

mother's made we don't have weddings at

the mission of the times every day you

know yeah I'm sorry

just keep thinking I may have forgotten

well whatever it is

[Music]

um

foreign

ERS in Ferguson yeah good leftovers been

good men now all we need is luck you're

looking at it

hi Herbie sure is all fired up yeah

about the wrong thing I better go script

put me down fraction

all right knock it off Herbie I am not

marrying that girl now or ever

yeah well that's better now just

straighten yourself out we've got a race

to win it's a lock

hey wait

for me besides you want me to go on the

other way

why don't you floor it Randy plenty of

times

yeah there'll be no unhappy boys what is

this a wedding or a funeral

where are you going Herbie

Santa Barbara

for the Santa Barbara

Herbie I am not getting married

thank you

she is

right right in Santa Barbara of course I

suppose she's marrying uh

that's who I figured well they deserve

one another

what do you think we're gonna do about

it stop we don't even know what time the

wedding is

all right so it's at noon noon are you

kidding I'll never make Santa Barbara by

noon

we're nearly there I can't wait wow

we're all looking forward to the wedding

we really can't wait for a gas station

[Music]

foreign

this weekend traffic could take hours

there's no way around it

where are you going now Murphy

I mean look we're not amphibious Herbie

all right

[Music]

I know you're interested in the girl I

am too I mean she's a wonderful person

but you have stopped thinking clearly

what are you trying to do Herbies hit

them off at the pass

well I've done the best I could do on

such short notice you naughty boy

knowing you mother it'll be perfect oh

thank you yeah a perfect marriage for a

perfect son and his lovely bride

[Music]

all right now Herbie this is it you

gotta turn back

[Music]

marriage is a sacred commitment

and this taking of the vows

symbolizes the love and trust that will

grow within both of you through the

years

the beginning steps of the journey that

will take you along life's bumpy road

do you Randy take this woman as your

lawful wedded wife

and do you Susan take this man

[Music]

if there is anyone who knows of any

reason why this man and woman should not

be joined in holy wedlock

if so speak now or forever hold your

peace

[Music]

white charger to me

foreign

what in Heaven's name do you think

you're doing Douglas

interrupting something I guess

a wedding

oh yeah

carrying uh

thank you

I I certainly Leanne

well didn't go right ahead all right

ahead don't let me disturb you

perhaps we could continue I have another

wedding at 1 30. continue with this man

in his ridiculous car standing at the

altar like a pair of Bridesmaids oh I

kind of thought of us as the best man in

more ways than one

the only way I think of you is ouch

perhaps I'd put you a hand oh that won't

be necessary Padre

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

I I seem to have found something more

important to do

Susan

um

are we going to continue or not

ah

I'm sorry Randy I'm I'm really not sure

well I am

come on

[Music]

great news for the business thanks Bo

got the entry fee back now we gotta get

home before he spins it

[Music]

race that now or ever you heard the lady

don't be no one happy and happy boys

what what is this a wedding

[Music]

let's load up kids

uh

would it be premature if I ask you yes

it would

try me again

you can bet on it

and if I forget I know someone who will

remind me

[Music]

Jim is in over his head getting to know

the kids and it's Herbie to the rescue

thanks Herman I needed that romance

moves to the back burner our future

so it's Herbie to the rescue again but

when Randy tries to break up the

marriage proposal

can herpes stop him with a dirty trick

of his own can Herbie expose Randy for

the villain he is he'll try next time on

Herbie the Love Bug

[Music]

tonight on Baker's Dozen will a stake

out at a singles bar mean a date with

disaster then on Shannon an arson

investigation has surprising results

that touch close to home now stay tuned

as a fire has herb and Jennifer trapped

in the elevator on WKRP next following

newsbreak

thank you