01x01 - The Incredible Lightness of Beano

[bunniefuu]

(partial episode)

is

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the lion king

hold on to your cuds kids it's time to

go hyper

that intergalactic superhero has arrived

the adventures of hyperman

next saturday

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it's time to go

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so

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[Applause]

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all right in this crazy

mad world of ours a world without

compassion a world without hope

one man stands alone and that one man is

hyperman

yes hyperman defender of the earth all

around

nice guy and junior warp agent wannabe

who along with stud puppy hyperman's

loyal super pooch pal and food taster

is all that stands between the hapless

inhabitants of earth and the cosmic

forces of

evil stay sharp stud puppy

nothing can prevent us from carrying out

this our mission of manliness

i am referring of course to the

unpredictable like

intro or about peace or

i can say with certainty that cows

cannot

you'll be right down

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emma how fortunate we crash through your

room

instead of old let's say sea urchins or

us again

teen genius and world's youngest

university undergrad

emma c squared is hyperman's friend

physics whiz and earth ally

she is also solely responsible for

allowing cosmic villain entrope into our

dimension

hey even i can have an off day

repeating our top story the temperature

of the planet is soaring

polar ice caps are melting oceans are

flooding our cities lakes and rivers are

drying up an alarming rate

it's madness i tell you a global

disaster

and now here's kevin with the sports kev

see

at last check the surface temperature

was 147 degrees

yeah but it's a dry heat oh what do we

do hyperman what do we do

hyperman here

get up here be right back

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responding to the call from his

superiors at w*r hyperman traverses the

cosmos

rocketing through the very fabric of

space and time at all to implausible

speeds

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the controller will see you now

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uh you called me cp oh yes right

you know the governing body of course hi

g*ng

what cg if i said you had a nice

governing body would they uh rule that

against me

right up are you aware that it's 150

degrees on earth

yeah but it's right quiet

look it's very simple we at warf are a

super intolerant

co-op of extraterrestrials formed to

protect the universe

as our lowest ranking agent we have

appointed

you as our emissary on earth now

if you can't do something about androbe

we'll find someone who will

cp have we forgotten the budget crunch

we're under

we have to put the box into the planets

that sign our checks

hyperman will do fine you've got

one more chance hyper man bring antrobin

or you're out thanks cp you won't regret

it

i think you'll find your decision to go

with me will be a

take care hyperman's task is clear and

with emma's stud puppy

and that cow at his side he proceeds

with all haste

to entral's castle going to the city

emma's looking pretty

she's my earth tutor playing with her

computer nothing

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this air sample i'm setting is loaded

with it

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that's very interesting emma now the

next logical question is

so so methane is one of the main causes

of global warming

it's one of the few pollutants that when

allowed to build up

that the heat for the sun in but don't

let it out it's called the greenhouse

effect

you say you ran into this cow flying

over intro's castle

no but since we're strapped for time yes

then that's gotta be it

intro is using cows to reduce methane

gas

it's true i didn't want to say anything

but well now you know

i feel so young oh there

there elsie let it out

imagine the indignity of being

cowapulted against your will

yes a sport that's all the rage since

that terrible camel tossing was outlawed

and one that entrope has adopted to help

facilitate his environmentally incorrect

behavior of late

kid chaos when i escaped the do-gooders

at warp

and discovered this planet low so many

years ago

weeks weeks ago

i never thought my life would be so

fulfilling

this place i call earth is a veritable

garden of earthly delight

hence the phrase and i won't rest

until i suck everyone's a pleasure out

of it

yes sir and there's nothing like a

little gardening on those jangle planet

smashing nerves

hey how'd you split

crazy cool taste it's true

alphabets and marshmallow alphabets are

part of this good breakfast

they're abc delicious

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he talks you're a great lifeguard now

they're always

together best friends forever

i love you too you can play lifeguard

with baywatch barbie doll and you're

talking dolphin

ken with wave runner and friend is not

included

who belongs to the burger king kids club

he does

what she does i don't think so

definitely yes

when darkness falls the gargoyles come

to life and at burger king you can bring

them to life with five new gargoyles

action toys

you can get one with every kid's club

meal they spin and move like the

gargoyles but when the sun comes up

they won't turn to stone burger king

kids club great food cool stuff kids

only

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and now back to the show hey

e.t what gives we're freezing to death

we're sensitive and delicate pansies

over here

it's only 150 degrees out here

speed up the global warmer high

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intro

global warmer a more diabolical

invention the world has never known

besides the spinal tap and maybe you

like waxing

with it entropies processing spores of

atlas bosses of their precious methane

gases

and spewing it into our atmosphere

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we're poisoning

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i don't care if they're tired no not

pooped out figuratively

pooped out literally no

oh

don't look at me quick what other

sources of methane are there

well let's see there's a swamps and uh

compost heaps

and uh a two-stroke lawnmower engines no

no

no those aren't the same you just can't

hold a candle to cal's gas you know

let's make that a rule shall we chaos

your task is clear

get me more cows but we're all

out where am i gonna find more moves at

this hour

just then there's a knock at the door

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this will never work i beg your

different

these costumes are down to the last

detailed duplicates

of the bipedal bovines of moon

and very slimming little numbers i might

add no

i mean even if we do get in there how

will we stop intro

think hyperman thinks all right i'm

thinking i'm good at it you know all

right i'm thinking i'm thinking hard i'm

thinking

fast in fact i'm thinking that i have no

idea what i'm supposed to be thinking

harry they're coming just act natural

and do what i do

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hello there we're the finalists in the

bi-annual feedbag follies

we use your pastor hey anne trump

we got company

i hate company big gaseous

boneline company they need to use our

pasture

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they're our death chaos take them into

the global warmer

painful methane extractor will you

oh it's our pet name for the kitchen we

are such silly right this way

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i was trying to get into character how

would a cow feel at a moment like this

never mind that's an atmosphere

processor

all we have to do is reverse its output

and it'll diminish the gas

it's time to go hyper next saturday wire

up and web out with me g*ng

hyperman superhero of the universe thank

you ready to take a megabyte out of

crime with my sidekick stud puppy

and i'm a c-squared so hook up for

intergalactic hyperman adventures

next saturday on cbs

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