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01x22 - There Goes a Tank

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Real Wheels". Aired: 1993 – 2004.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


The series of videos revolved around Dave (sometimes with Becky) in jobs that focused on the vehicles being featured.

01x22 - There Goes a Tank

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I love tanks hi I'm tank driver Dave

well you know I'm not a real tank driver but the real tank drivers have agreed to let me pretend for the day so that you

and I can learn about tanks and other military vehicles how they work so if you're ready I'm ready

let's go hey wait to me [Music]

look at this baby this is beautiful it's an m1a1 I know all about it cuz I read

about it on the Internet I know everything there is to know about the stack this side dude oh yes sir its tank

driver Dave reporting for duty sir can't wait to get my hands on the steering wheel of this baby you know

there's no steering wheel number one

that take our day never walk underneath the g*n - you might not get like some

sense in your head don't make that mistake again sir let's go over here by brief you all

right this right here is the m1a1 main battle tank I need you to safeguard this

as if your life depended on this if my life depended on it now this thing has been upgraded with top-secret gadget

stop favorite gadgets know the president is depending on you to guard it the

president is depending on me tomorrow morning my tank crew will be here to take this tank and will often take it

over to the ship it'll be out of your hands okay now I need you to take these finals right here yeah and you'll be

able to uh guard a perimeter yes sir thank you sir you can count on me sir the president could count on me sir

thank you so much oh this is this is so much fun yes sir oh boy the president is counting on me

I'll protect this tank all right nobody's gonna get their hands on this tank while tank driver Dave is watching

it [Music]

all is quiet with tank driver Dave in charge Hey

well we're just hanging out here for you say we take a closer look at the tank m1a1 like I told you before way 69 tons

that's heavy these tracks alone on each side way to tons of peace this is just like a

bulldozer it allows it to go just about anywhere see these little rubber things here if those get worn out you can

change them just like an old tire come on back here this is a big sprocket just

like you have on your bicycle only this one instead of being hooked to a chain is hooked to the track and this turns

when the motor goes and it it pulls the big track around one won't walk long and

makes the tank go and to turn it one track goes faster than the other one or maybe backwards and that makes the tank

go backwards and forwards and this way and that way as a taillight just like a

car oh this is you can you can roast marshmallows here this is where the engine is in there it's a big turbine

engine kind of like a jet engine it's very hot in fact this gets up to 700 degrees when it's running and it gets

1500 horsepower push this big tank along and guess what it'll burn on anything

from kerosene to jet fuel because sometimes when you're in other countries fuel is hard to come by armor plates

along the side look at these they're almost 2 inches thick that's cuz there's a fuel tank in there more than 500

gallons of fuel plus the drivers there you got to protect him that's for sure so how do you get on the tank I like

getting off whoops look at this put your foot right in there

look at this this is a grenade launcher they launch smoke grenades that create a

wall of smoke and the tank can actually hide behind it so the bad guys can't see it this is where there's not a

machine-g*n an even bigger machine g*n goes here and this is the torque this goes all the way around the front called

the Gunners doghouse it's where he aims the big g*ns it's actually a periscope so he sits down below and can see up

here and look at the color and glass it's laser shielded just like in Star Wars look at this this is where the

driver sits on the tank and I figured out why they don't have steering wheels because they have one of these it's well

it's kind of like riding a motorcycle or or a bicycle because it it steers like this that controls the tracks forward

and backwards and turns the tank and then this is just like the throttle on a motorcycle and this is a shifter right

here forward and reverse forward and reverse down there there's a brake pedal

just like in a car there's all kinds of controls and cool stuff in here look at all these gauges here I wonder what that

does [Music]

look at this look at all this cool stuff this is the seat or the head guy is he's

the commander and he tells everybody else what to do he's got his own periscope and he

actually has his own smaller turret this actually turns and he can aim the little g*n up there not really a little 50

caliber and control it from right here boom boom boom boom boom over here on

the left side where the loader sits now what's the holder do you're pretty smart he loads the a*mo into the big g*n where

does he get it behind that safety wall there to open it you push this lever here with your knee it opens up pull all

the a*mo out and put it in the big g*n right over there and he's also responsible for the radio communications

that's low far back there there's so much stuff in here I can't believe it [Music]

well this is a tight squeeze hardly room for me this is the part below the

doghouse where the periscope comes down this is where the gunner sits and he controls the movement of the turret and

also the up and down motion of the of the big Kim okay and this is where he does it right here it looks through this

hole here and that's where he aims the big g*n and then you just push this

button here I shouldn't have done that oh no I'm

really in trouble now back garden this

tank oh hello sir Eddie's Dave was that you they just fired off this man g*n sir

yeah kind of it was by I was just demonstrating how the thing works you know and I accidentally I didn't even

know the law to stop stop get down and give me 50 yes sir thank you sir

[Music] [Applause]

[Music]

Penny's day yes sir now we're gonna give you one last chance to guard this tank now my men will be

here in the morning to take it out here and send it to the front your stand yes sir I will I'll never do that again this

is your post need you command it as if your life depended on it yes sir all right carry on

[Music]

[Music] I could be a real tank commanders I

wanna do yeah that's it I'll update its tank commander name its tank commander

days oh this is fun onto the front I'm tank driver Dave I'm tank driver Dave

wait then we're not actually going over this are we wait wait wait wait just a minute here would you some softer

suspension - II could get richer on that [Music]

she gets up and whoa that's for sure hey wait a minute slow down there hold on to

my hat whoa he has surgery I'm a real tank driver now

[Music]

attack where'd the tank oh I know secret enemy

agents are coming in the middle of night and take him a tank and this is my last chance oh I'm gonna be in trouble now I

followed the traps maybe I can find him

[Music]

wait I got let down the president United States [Music]

see now if I was a secret agent where would I hide an m1a1 I gotta find my

tank well there's a tank well wait a minute this isn't my m1a1 I know what

this is I read about it in the history books it's an m4 Sherman tank it was used in

World w*r two [Music]

Hey look at this this is one of the very first tanks it was really small and it

didn't have very big g*ns but it did protect the soldiers inside and it did have tracks like a bulldozer so if you

go places other vehicles couldn't look at this old tank it looks like a big bug with g*ns well they may have looked kind

of strange but because of the thick armor in the tracks instead of wheels they played a big role in supporting our

soldiers on the ground tight driver Dave salutes the mighty tank

[Music] that's smart drink

or would they hide [Music]

Wow look at that I guess you could say we found a herd of HMMWV how these are

the hardest working vehicles in the military and there's a reason for that they can be turned into all kinds of different things just like that this is

an ambulance Humvee for instance here's a troop transporter Humvee just load the guys in the back and you can drive them

around here's one that can be used just to get around and also as a radio communications vehicle oh they're cool

Humvees are special because they're high off the ground they're four-wheel drive and they're wide so they won't tip over

and guess what they even have Bush guards on the front and if we open the engine we can see that it's a great big

diesel engine boom boo-boom boo-boom big and strong to drive the Humvee through the creeks in the deserts and everywhere

and they're special because you can go through water with them water almost up to here and the engine will still work

because it's got an air intake there that sucks the air in and then the exhaust instead of being on the bottom

in the back is on the top in the back oh they're cool and they'll go just about anywhere

whoa let's take a look inside Wow look

at this inside a Humvee it's pretty cool but it's also very very basic no frills

here no leather seats to start it you just turn this

and and guess what else there's a switch right here that turns on little lights on the front so if you've got night

vision goggles on you don't have to have your headlights on you can see everything even though it's dark it's

really cool top speed about 45 miles an

hour um V stands for high mobility

multipurpose wheeled vehicles did you get that that's the high mobility multipurpose wheeled vehicle the Humvee

is a true four-wheel-drive vehicle it has independent drives on each of its four wheels the body of the Humvee is

made of aircraft aluminum on a steel frame or it's very strong a some are

even bulletproof some Humvees have g*ns mounted on the top [Music]

look this one has a surface-to-air m*ssile launcher on its back Humvees can

pull heavy loads all right and some Humvees perform as hospital vehicles I was a secret agent it's

exactly where I'd hide a tank behind the barbed wire I gotta get over this

[Music]

[Music]

oh well I guess I needed a shower anyway

[Music]

wait president united states [Music]

put that tank look at that baby and the Marine Corps

they call that the five-time it's big and bad six wheel drive and it'll haul

anything from a*mo to supplies lots of troops b*llet to the beauty let's go over here

and take a closer look at it hmm pretty plain inside no frills there yeah got

the canvas on there pretty good five

tons of the Big Daddy of the Marine Corps they can be transported on airplanes they can haul lots of troops

in the back [Music]

and they can sure pull some heavy loads

sometimes they have machine g*ns on top [Music] sometimes they're used to haul

ammunition they can even be loaded onto ships I love the five-ton

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music] it's another tank this was the right

color but it's not like tank what this tank was I read about in the history

books and m60a1 they used it during Vietnam and up to the 80s

[Music]

find my tank though [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

look at this you know when you're in the Marines you got to move a lot of supplies around from here to there up

and down and everywhere that's what this is an EB F L extended

boom forklift this baby can move practically anything

[Music]

[Music]

that was quite a ride [Music]

[Music] I got fun a tank

[Music]

[Music]

it's not a tank but it's pretty cool Wow check this out this is the LVS the

logistics vehicle system this is the marine cores big dragon

it has eight wheel drive even the trailer has four wheel drive fact

there's a great big Cummins diesel that can power this big bad boy just about anywhere and look at this

it's even got a moonroof look at these

big wheels and the steering on this is very special the front wheels turn like this and there's a big hydraulic thing

back there that goes inside inside the water can come all the way up to here so it can go through lakes and streams

almost like a submarine next to the m1a1 I think the LDS is my favorite vehicle

the LDS logistics vehicle system can come in all kinds of configurations

it can haul ammunition it can haul fuel [Music]

the LVS can go on ships and it can go on

airplanes no wonder they call it the big dragon I

know I can find that tank if I just look I'll wait is that over there

[Music]

Hey look at this sometimes tanks are dropped from airplanes yeah the big

flakes fly real low and the tanks are pulled from the back of the flame by parachutes they skid to a stop on

special platforms designed to protect the tracks this tank is called Hercules

the boom on the front can lift 35 times this is a French Builder tank they call

it the Wolverine it can build an 85 foot bridge in just five minutes and then it

can retrieve it again in just 10 minutes military tank bulldozers are cool too

they're used to move dirt of course and they also move big container haulers when offloading supplies from ships and

trucks helicopters are used to move

troops and so are these these are known as LVADs with tracks it can go on land

and on the water [Music]

[Music] when the LVT goes into the water the

tracks are used to help repel it and the special water jet on the back help steer it and drive it through the water the

jet pumps more than fourteen thousand gallons per minute here's another amphibious vehicle you

know what that means you're pretty smart it means that it can go on the water and the land these are la these light

armored vehicles they come in all shapes and sizes there are a lot like tanks but

but one big difference before oh you guessed it they have wheels instead of tracks

[Music] the Marines use all kinds of visits some with tracks and some with wheels some

are big and some are small each has a very special job to do but you know what

I think tank driver Dave still likes the mighty tank the best of all

[Music]

[Music] [Applause] [Music]

[Music]

that's it

a family cake [Music]

I shouldn't have done that

[Music] what are you doing Dave sir sir please

forgive me I can explain everything I'm sorry I I was guarding the tank just like you told me to just like you told

me to and I must have just dozed off for maybe just a second and the secret agents came in the middle of the night and they stole attack and I don't know

how they did it without waking me up and they stole the tank away so I went in search up I know my camouflage my binocs

these are great binocs I found so much cool equipment big stuff little stuff everything but the tank and then finally

I just about given up and there she was my m1a1 so I wanted to give it just a

little hug you know to say hi to it one

she was installing my tank crew came this morning and they loaded her up heading for the front now I came here to

just personally thank you for your hard work on guarding this vehicle thank you thank you thank you for protecting the

freedom of everybody in America and the

Marine Corps yes sir thank you sir superf I David thank you for your hard work to simplify

wait a minute what is what a separate I leave separate five means always faithful Dave always faithful like the

Marines always faithful thank you for your hard work yes sir thank you sir it's been a lot of

fun thanks for watching from the halls of

Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli we will fight our country's battle on the

land the air and the sea [Music]

[Music]