02x03 - Shake, Rattle and Woof/Cadpig Behind Bars

[bunniefuu]

-[theme music playing]
-[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
in ruffling some feathers ♪

-♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

[barks]

♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1 oh wonderful! ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

[theme music playing]

-[dogs yipping]
-[chicken clucking]

Ooh!

Oh! Ah!

There goes that crazy Randy again,

recording those noise-polluting pups.

Maybe not so crazy.

Last year, three cats recorded
an album of Christmas carols.

That's right.
They became instant stars.

Stars?

I've just had a brilliant idea
to get the Dearly farm!

[animal sounds continue]

[dogs yipping]

[Spot clucking]

[All]
Arf, arf, arf!

Roger? What's going on?

Hmm? Oh, hi, sweetie.

Didn't you feed these poor pups?

Breakfast and lunch.

And I just finished
sampling their voices

to get some advanced new sounds
for my music library.

Take it from the top, guys.

-[beat playing]
-[barking in unison]

[barking, clucking form music]

Bravo! Bravo! Encore.

Encore.

Oh, the hills were alive
with the sound of yelping.

Oh, Cruella,
sorry if the pups disturbed you.

Pups? Not just pups.

Pavarotti, Carreras, Placido!

And, uh, the chicken!

Gee, you really think so?

Oh, they're brilliant, inspiring!

Here, sign this.

What are you up to now, Cruella?

Well, I'm here
to take these four virtuosos

to the super stardom
they deserve!

Wow! Did she say "stardom"?

We're gonna be stars!

Guys, guys, this is Cruella,

the same woman who tried to
turn you into fuzzy eveningwear?

Sign this contract
and your musical little friends

will rule the charts!

Gee, stardom!

I could become the spokesperson
for world peace.

Or a major soft drink.
They pay better.

Yeah! And I could get
a kibble endorsement deal,

with unlimited free samples.

Oh, yeah!

And I could get a sandwich
named after me.

Oh, just think!

Chicken sandwich!

What an opportunity.

And what's in it for you,
Cruella?

Oh! Not for me.

For the children of the world.

It's reward enough knowing
I've brought a happy smile

to just one snotty
little child's face.

How do I know you're not making
the same old empty promises?

Oh, don't be ridiculous.
These are brand-new empty promises.

Read the contract, Rodney.

That's right.
Those great big paragraphs at the top.

You've arranged a concert
to be broadcast on TV?

All over the globe!

We're gonna be on TV.

Your barn will be converted
into a studio,

at enormous expense to me,
of course.

Well, I... I don't know.

I'll even let you direct.

[all barking, panting]

[laughs] All right, all right. You win.

I'll do it for the pups.

Marvelous! We're all in show biz!

I'll have my people call your people.
[laughs]

Oh, that's right.
You don't have people. [laughs]

Now I must go arrange
the lavish sets and costumes.

Kiss, kiss!

[electricity whirring]

Wow!

"Ucky, Roy, a Pig and Spit"?

-[tire screeching]
-[engine revving]

[gasps]

I love it!

Every megawatt!

I wonder if it's too subtle.

-[laughs]
-[yipping]

Well, don't just sit there.

You're late for your costume fittings!

Go, go!

[all barking]

I don't get it.

Shouldn't stars like us
have something more

than second-hand scenery?

This here's all your fault, pups.

That contract Roger signed
says that all us animals

have to be in your stupid show!

Daddy! This cowgirl look just isn't me.

It makes my hips look big.

Hmm!
You look fine, darlin'.

[all chuckling]

You'll never catch me
in such a stupid getup.

Why do I say things like that?

If this is the price of stardom,

it's too high!

Don't worry.
Roger won't let this happen.

He's the director!

[sighs] If we only had time
for liposuction.

Good morning, Cruella.
I just came from the barn

and I have a few suggestions.

Let me start
with those cheap sets.

[all grunting, whining]

No, no, actually I'll start
with the even cheaper costumes.

Now as director of this show,

-I have a different vision.
-Oh, vision-smishen!

I'm demoting you
to manure-removal technician.

-Demoted?
-[all whining]

I've decided that this production
needs genius,

class, taste. In short, me!

Cruella de Vil, producer and director!

Oh! You can't do this, Cruella.

Not as long
as we have a contract.

-I'm still the director.
-Were the director.

Clause 15 on page 67 of our contract

states that I have power to make
all the creative decisions,

including demoting you.

If you don't like it, Reggie,
you can always quit.

Well, if this kind of nonsense
keeps up, we just might!

Please do.

Because according to
the teeny-weeny print clause

way, way at the bottom...

I... I didn't even notice it.

This says if I or the pups quit
for any reason...

I get the farm!

-Oh, no!
-Ta-ta.

[sighs]

She bamboozled us!

Well, that just means
we can't quit

or Roger and Anita lose the farm.

Listen, you blithering clods,

implement all phases of my plan

at the exact times
I've written down here.

Follow the schedule
no matter what.

We'll make those furry runts
so miserable,

they'll be happy to quit.

You can count on us,
Miss de Vil, sir.

I've worked everything out.

All the animals
know what to do.

Duchess and I
are behind you 100%.

[Cruella]
Ladies and gentlemen,

the producer and director
of our show, me,

-Cruella de Vil!
-[crickets chirping]

-[man hacking]
-Oh, you're too kind.

The taking of flash photographs

and the throwing of rotten vegetables
is strictly required.

And now Cruella de Vil
proudly presents

the stars of our show,

Ucky, Roy, a Pig and Spit!

-[applause]
-[music playing]

Those pups' plan
had better work.

Okay, I'm ready.

Descend me
in the right direction.

-Oh!
-[grunting]

[animals yip to music]

"Follow the schedule
no matter what.

Follow the schedule
no matter what."

Time for phase one...

Is "phase one" the first thing?

Yes, Horace! It is.

[song continues]

[Cruella shouting]

Ahhh!

Pfft! [gasps]

-[chickens clucking]
-Ahh!

[coughing]

[yipping to song continues]

Time for phase two.

Now is "phase two" the second thing?

-This is hard for you, isn't it?
-No, no.

Hmm.

Whaaaa!

Ahhh!

[yipping to song continues]

Phase three.

Now is "phase three" the first thing?

How could it be the first thing?

Hmm, that's a toughie.

[shouting]

[yipping, barking continue]

Time for the final phase.

[Both] "Follow the schedule
no matter what."

[Both] Boo! Boo!

-[heckling]
-[shouting]

[All] Bravo! Yeah!

Oh!

Nice show, Cruella.

Oh, by the way,
there's somebody here to meet you.

This is the VP of Tacky Animal Acts
at the network.

And he wants you to
produce and direct a real show.

We'll put you on every day.

You'll be working around the clock
with these little fellers.

Are you insane?

I've been stampeded, drenched,

rocked, rolled and humiliated!

I never want to see those mutts again!

Oh, but you're
their producer, their director.

You've got this ironclad contract.

Not anymore! I quit!

You guys will always
be stars to me.

[all happily squealing]

You call yourselves a Bark Brigade?

You're nothing
but a canine coffee klatch!

And you've been eating
all the coffee cake.

You're soft!

Well, I'm here to make you tough!
Make you mean!

Make your lips suck chrome!

Today you're chasing cars.

[Both] All right!

You know, Lieutenant,
instead of taking us

on your usual machismo tour,

why don't we cadets
to something enlightening,

like explore our feminine side?

Feminine side, my grandma!

I don't have a feminine side.

Sure you do.
It's in there somewhere...

the sensitive, nurturing,
patient part in all of us.

Hold that thought.

You mud-slinging stick of slime!

[yipping]

Whoa! She's good.

Maybe we should get in touch
with our feminine sides.

[growling]

The dog catcher!
We've got to help her.

Get your feminine butts
in gear, cadets!

Charge, charge!

[grunting]

Now what do we do?

Dog paddle?

Too dangerous.

We've got to do something.

Who knows what horrible things
are happening to Cadpig over there.

-[dogs barking]
-Hi, baby.

Welcome to the pound.

Oh, we got us a new pup!

What's your name, spotty girl?
Who's your daddy?

[growling]

What a welcome wagon.
I feel so accepted.

Hi! I'm Cadpig, your new roomie.

And you are?

Sick of you already.

Well, we're a little hardened,
aren't we?

I'll just call you Sassy.

If you want to bark another day,
you'll call me Bonbon.

Oh, that's a pretty name.

Bonbon.

A hard candy coating
with a soft, vulnerable center.

Oh, Bon, I love what you've done
with the place!

But can I make
a teeny, weenie suggestion?

Some fresh potpourri,
throw pillows and new paint

would really perk up
the atmosphere.

Mind if I make a suggestion?

Shut up! And keep off
the top bunk! It's mine.

Works for me.

Actually, I prefer
the bottom bunk.

In that case,
the bottom bunk's mine!

Whatever tugs your leash.

There's probably a better view
from the top bunk anyway.

Eeeek!

They're both mine!

[gagging] So what you in for?
Control issues?

All right, men, it's time for Plan A!

Operation Island Storm.

To aid us in our mission,
I've requisitioned

some supplies
from the Bark Brigade Air Force.

They should be here
any minute!

That hurt.

What is all this stuff?

You see any rations?

Rescues make me hungry.

You haven't rescued
anyone yet, butterbutt!

But we will as soon as we assemble
the secret weapon.

Are you two done with that helium?

[high voices] All finished, sir.

Prepare for liftoff!

We're not lifting off.

-We have too much weight.
-Gah! So now I am fat.

-Owww!
-Mayday, mayday!

Ahh!

Pffft! [coughing]

Ooh, a cramp! A cramp!

Ayy! Huh?

Anybody got a Plan B?

[crying]

Oh, see, Bonbon?

I knew you had
a soft, vulnerable center.

It's a little gooier
than I expected,

but go ahead
and let it all ooze out.

Nobody ever adopts me.

They always pick the younger,
cuter dogs.

I'll be here forever.

What you have to do
is bloom where you're planted.

Make the best
of this bad situation.

Bad? It wasn't this bad
until you showed up.

You're the one who made me realize
how miserable I am.

[sing-song] You're displacing.

Ahh! Let me out of here!

She's driving me insane!

This is cruel and unusual punishment.

[sobbing]

You could use
some relaxation techniques.

Got some scented candles
and a yoga mat?

We're moving on to Plan B.

This requires strategic cunning
and precision.

We'll jump on three.
One, two, aboard!

-[all barking]
-[grunting]

Hmm. What you need
is to put on a happy face.

There! Smile and the world
smiles with you.

This is it, Buttons.
I'm planning a breakout.

I'm breaking her out!

♪ If you're happy and you know it,
clap your hands! ♪

♪ Doo doo doo. ♪

Are you clapping in there?

[grunting]

She's driving me nuts!

If I have to assume the lotus position
one more time,

I'm chewing off one of my legs.

If I'm breaking anybody out,
it's gonna be me.

Ah, ah, ah, don't break out.
Look inward.

Find the inner puppy, pull him out
and give him a hug.

h*! Let's hold paws in a circle
and talk about what makes us happy.

[beeping, whirring]

[all shouting]

♪ Kumbaya, my Lord... ♪

[Man]
Back to your cages! Chow time!

[all barking]

-Come back!
-[dogs all shouting]

We're in.

We're in trouble.

Get used to it.

Lights out!

[dog barking]

[Cadpig] Let's all sing a rondelet

of Meet Me Tonight in Dream Land.

[All] Make it stop!

Okay, you win, Bonbon.

We're breaking her out tonight.

[Lieutenant Pug]
Listen here, Buttons and Bows!

I'm in charge
of this rescue.

Well, you're in my territory now.

And I give the orders!

Suppose I mark this my territory?

You ain't got it in ya.

They don't call me
"Pug the Jug" for nothing.

Why don't you roll over
and play dead

before I make it a reality?

That's it! Now you've done it.

Frightening a superior officer!

I've got a good mind to...

He plays dead pretty good.

Happens a lot.
He'll be back any minute.

Really? Hmm.

That gives me an idea.

[dogs whimpering, howling]

Ah! Looks like you need
to see the vet.

Oh, where'd I put
that vet's number?

Ahh!

I've lost time again.
Where am I?

Bright lights, instruments,
charts, cold table!

Agh! I've been abducted by aliens.

Lieutenant, push the cage-release button.

I don't take orders from you!

But, uh, it was your idea,
Lieutenant sir,

before you blacked out.
Uh, Plan C, remember?

Eh, of course I remember.

"C" for cage release.

-[buzzer sounds]
-[all barking]

-This way, cadets.
-[alarm sounding]

[siren wailing]

Move 'em out!

Come on, taste your freedom!

Uh, we're staying.

Knowing you're out there
makes us happy to be in here.

That's just the attitude
I was hoping for!

My work here is done.

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

I am so glad I got through

to my new friends
back at the pound.

And I'm glad my best friends
came through for me.

[Both] Uh-huh.

[sighs] It would be
a much better world

if we all came through
for each other.

Where's a blackout
when you need one?

That's better.

[theme song playing]