02x07 - Quibbling Rivalry

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back ♪
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

[foot steps]

[laughing] Bingo.

A regular walk in the park.

No, no, no.

It's a day at the beach,
and we are here to kick sand in your face.

Hollywood police. You're under arrest.

Yeah? If you catch me.

h* h*!

This guy is good.

Oh, I don't need this.

Not today, not today.

Well It's not the first time
a crook got away from us.

Say, something else
is bothering you, isn't it?

Oh Can we talk later?

That guy is getting away.

This calls for a toon maneuver.

Bonkers!

Okay, pull over,
and don't try anything slippery.

-[laughing]
-Let me rephrase that.

I better get down there.

Whoa!

You, sir, are hereby charged

with illegally basting
a medium-sized chicken

in a white wine sauce.

Oops. [laughing] Cookbook, not code book.

Luckily, being a toon,

I'll just bounce off that awning
in some harmless, amusing way.

Wrong!

[Miranda clearing throat]

Ohh.

Okay, showboat, you're under arrest

for burglary and ill*gal use
of a suction cup.

Why do you do stuff like that?

Every time, it's a disaster.

Well, at least I'm consistent.

[siren fading]

Um, no offense, Miranda,
but you're acting kind of grouchy.

-Am not.
-Are, too.

-Am not.
-Are, too.

Okay, maybe I am a bit.

My sister's coming into town,
and I'm not looking forward to it.

You never said you had a sister.

Oh, must've slipped my mind.

[gasp]

It's her.

Wait a minny.

That's the famous TV reporter,
Shirley Wright, UBC news.

She's your sister?

It's not as exciting as you might think.

Hey, I read she's in town
reporting on toons.

Maybe I can be in it.

Just what I need.

Look, why don't you go down
and check on our prisoner?

But we just locked him up.

Well, we can't be too careful,
take his fingerprints.

Check his credit rating. Anything.

-Just go.
-Okay. Alright, already.

Gee whiz.

Ok, long as she doesn't find out about
Bonkers, it'll be fine.

Shirley, what a surprise!

Mir, what a cute uniform.

It comes with the job.

I thought I was supposed
to pick you up at the airport tonight.

I got an earlier flight so I decided
to drop by.

Swell, and, uh, who's that?

That's my cameraman Elliot.

A thrill and a pleasure.

Here's your coffee, Shirley.

Thank you, Frank.

Frank?

And this is for you.

"To Frank, the world's top cop.

Your close friend, Shirley Wright."

Oh, boy, can I see?

Oopsie.

Ohh.

That's it.

You-- you--

you're a toon.

Well, thank you for noticing.

This is Bonkers...

My partner.

Oh, how-- how interesting.

Hiya. Glad to meetcha.

Any sister of Miranda's
is a sister of mine.

Could you excuse us a minute?

Are you sure you two are related?

Yes. Odd, isn't it?

And speaking of odd, I think I just found
an angle for my story.

Oh, Frank, I'm going to need your help.

Anything for you, Shirley.

Believe me.
You don't want to meet Shirley.

You don't want to be in her report,

and you absolutely, positively--

Shirley!

You know, Mir, it's a funny thing
you working with a toon.

Funny? Why?

Oh the network wants to do
a segment on toons.

Oh, really?

In fact I thought It'd be a great angle
if I rode along with my little sis

and her toon partner.

I don't think Sergeant Grating
would ever go for that.

Well I can be quite persuasive,
and Frank was very helpful.

He said yes?

Yes. Won't that be fun?

Fun!

Awesome possum!

This would be absolutely fantastic.

Yeah. I can hardly wait.

So there I was, headed home from
the grocery store

when I heard this horrible sound.

A kidnapping? A m*rder?

[meow]

Try a cat up a tree.

Yes, that's my kitty.

Now where do you think he could be?

Don't worry, madam.

Bonkers D. Bobcat, Hollywood PD,
will save your ill-fated feline.

[meow]

Nice kitty.

Come to Bonkers.

[hissing]

[screaming]

[meow]

What are you doing?

Save my kitty.

Okay, okay.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

Now this could get interesting.

Stay here.

[door closes]

Where do you think you're going?

With you, after my kitty.

Hang on.

She can't leave us behind.

This story could win me an Emmy.

Sounds a little flat.

Out of the way!

Back up!

[horns honking]

Look out!

Hot dogs. Get your, um...


I've got a bad feeling about this.

-Jitters!
-What?

Boy, is it lucky I found you.

Could I get a second opinion?

Yeow!

Okay, pull over.

[train signal]

[screaming]

Hit the brakes!

At least I'm insured.

[crashes]

Some ride.

[rumbling]

Bonkers, you alright?

Oh, just a little run-down.

[meow]

Oh, what a brave kitty.

[meow]

Well, look on the bright side, Miranda.

The worst is over.

[squeaking]

Tell me you got all that.

The whole enchilada.

Now on special assignment,
UBC correspondent, Shirley Wright.

Good evening.

I came to Hollywood
to take a light-hearted look at toons--

How they live, how they play,
and how they work.

Ooh, good topic.

Instead, I witnessed the destruction
of an entire city block

by a reckless toon.

That's bad. Who's she talking about?

There was this huge orange toon
cat and these tires and giant cowboy.

Sergeant Grating,

officer Bobcat destroyed
a patrol car today.

Isn't that unusual?

Are you kidding?
It's the third one this month.

Sir. How do you react to the devastation
you witnessed today?

I've seen worse.

Can we afford to have someone
like this in uniform?

Tune in tomorrow
for part two of toon cop--

threat or menace?

This is Shirley Wright reporting.

But where's the kitty I saved?

Looks like he got left behind
on the cutting room floor.

Bobcat! Saw you on TV last night.

Yes, sir.

Keep up the good work. [chuckles]

Yes, sir!

You got your nerve, barging in,
turning my life upside down.

Wrong. She's expecting anger.

Shirley, you didn't even
show Bonkers saving the cat.

Of course I didn't.

Uh, Shirley?

A cat in a tree... boring.

But a toon tearing up the city is news.

Honestly, Mir you haven't changed a bit.

Me.

You always want to argue.

-I'm just telling you--
-I know what your telling me,

how to do my job.

Frankly, I think you owe me an apology.

Shirley, I'm sorry.

All I'm saying is give Bonkers a chance.

Fine. I'm doing a three-part report,

so your Bonkers has two more chances
to make good. Fair?

Fair enough.

Listen. You can hear the ocean.

Bonkers, we're at the ocean.

Good point.

I got a hunch, something's up.

See what I mean? Smelt!

Phew! Thanks, anyway.

No, not smell it, smelt,

a salmon found in northern seas,

only we are in California.

Now, why would a fish that ought to be
up north swim all the way south?

Bonkers Could we cut the mystery stuff
and stick to police work?

This is police work. I'm positive Miranda.

Something fishy's going on down here.

Besides, this is my big chance to do
better for Shirley's report.

Believe me, the less Shirley knows
about this, the better.

Alright, little kitty.

Now we'll find you some nice fresh fish.

[sniffing]

[meow]

Hey, come back with that smelt!
It's evidence!

Bonkers, forget the fish!

What did I tell you? Go!

We got the all the fishies
in their holding tanks Mr. Fermen.

And they all got on their radio collars.

Grand. It's a perfect high-tech smuggling
operation.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Here-- aha!

Hey, I know those th*gs.

Bonkers, what are you--

Shh!

Soon the smelt will swim North to Canada.

And then we slice them
open to get the jewels

we stuffed down their little
fishy throats.

-[Bonkers] Freeze, cheese!
-This is the police!

Ow!

And this is us leaving.

Out of my way!

Bonkers!

[water splashing]

[meow]

You again?

Hey, good idea.

[honk]

Follow those th*gs while I play
a little bronco Bonkers.

Incoming!

Whoa!

[screaming]

Lose him, you louse.

That's it! News blackout!

Get out of the way!

Shirley I'm ordering you to seek cover.

Bonkers is closing in on a criminal.

You mean Bonkers is closing on a record.

Pull over, Fermin!

Not on your life...

and I mean that sincerely.

Miranda Why don't you admit I'm right?

I'm doing you a favour.
That toon could get you k*lled.

Any second now.

Aah!

[screaming]

Move!

Anyone for a little smoked salmon?

Amusing? Perhaps,

but I wonder what's so funny
about a toon cop?

Where's the shot of us arresting Vermin?

Aw, she's twisting things again.

Shirley, I love you.

Who will pay the ultimate price
if this cartoon catastrophe

continues to patrol our streets?

Oh, Miranda.

I never saw it that way before.

-[busy signal]
-Come on, Bonkers. Get off the line.

How long before--

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Oh. Uh-huh. I see.

May I put you on the air?

This is Bonkers D. Bobcat.

I don't want to hurt anyone.

No, Bonkers. Don't.

Meet me at headquarters at 8:00.

He shoots.

And your report can have a happy ending.

He scores!

I'll turn in my badge.

Yes!

Where's the star of our show?

He'll be here.

Bonkers, I tried to phone you.

Shirley's right, Miranda.
I'm a loose cannon.

What if I go off and you get hurt?

Can we get this over with?

Okay, give me the badge. Give me. Give me.

[expl*si*n]

Ow! Uhh!

Look! Shirley, take care of Grating
and call the fire department.

Hey, what about the resignation?

You okay? What happened?

I just turned on my oven...

and it blew, like that!

Think anyone else is in there?

No. Wait!

The old lady in 502.

I don't see her out here.

Come on, Bonkers.

Me? You sure?

Miranda. You can't go in there
with that toon.

-He's a menace.
-But he's my menace.

And don't you tell me, how to do my job!

You can't talk to me that way!

We got to work fast. I'll check upstairs.
Look down here.

[coughing]

Miranda.

Be careful, pal.

You, too.

[whistling]

Hmm... kind of warm this morning.

[screeches]

[pounding on door]

Who is it?

Am I glad I found... you again?

Oh, company. Do you take cream?

Ohh!

Hang on!

Ow!

Oh, dear.

What is taking them so long?

Where's Miranda?

Didn't she come out?

No.

Miranda!

Haaaa! Hot foot! Hot foot!

Warm!

Na-na-na-na-na!

Bonkers! Can you throw us a rope?

Rope. I forgot to bring a rope.

[siren]

I'll get you the next best thing.

[screaming]

[crash]

I knew you wouldn't let me down.

Actually, I am going to let you down.

Okay. Push it over.

Oh! This hurts!

Ok. Climb down.

Go, granny.

Come on, Bonkers!

Coming!

[Bonkers falling through air]

[crash]

Can you see anything?

Ohhh...

[Shirley] Miranda!

Where's Bonkers?

[expl*si*n]

I didn't do it. It's not my fault.

Ohhhh.

Another episode of massive destruction.

And once again, who was there,
but Hollywood's own toon cop.

-She's still mad I didn't resign.
-Shh.

[Shirley] Nevertheless,

officer Bobcat saved the helpless tenant
and his partner.

He's not your everyday policeman,

but I, for one, would be proud

to have Bonkers D. Bobcat
patrolling my street anytime,

just as I am proud to have
officer Miranda Wright as my sister.

This is Shirley Wright reporting.

So, this all worked out--

you and Shirley buried the hatchet,
and I got to stay a cop.

Everybody's happy.

Uhhhh! I was this close,
this close... to gettin' his badge.

[sobbing]

[theme music playing]