02x13 - When the Spirit Moves You

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

- ♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back ♪
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

-Aah! Ooh!
-[evil laughter]

Look out!

One side!

Run!

[siren]

What's going on here?

We were checking out the place
before tearing it down when...

thi-- th-th-this thing attacked us.

You are talking to Hollywood's finest.

We can handle anything.

Now, what exactly attacked you?

[all together] A ghost!

A g-g-ghost!

Bonkers!

Get a grip!

Good idea!

Unnnh! Would you stop already?

Don't tell me
you actually believe in ghosts.

Me? Of course not.
I don't know what came over me.

Must've been the sauerkraut
I had for breakfast.

Fine. Now let's take a look.

[Bonkers] Um, why don't you go on?

[Bonkers] Be in in a minute. No, really.

Go on. After you.

Bonkers, would you relax? Trust me.
There's an explanation for everything.

Sure there is.

Stay real close.

Shh!

Look, Bonkers.

Why don't you check around upstairs?

By myself?

Eew! Look a bit tired there, Bobcat.

True! Nothing to be scared of here.

[slurp]

Aah!

I don't believe in ghosts!

Aah!

Nice to see you, too.

But, Miranda, I saw it. It was huge.

And white! And ugly!

Who are you calling ugly?

[heartbeat]

[stammering]

I don't believe this.

See? Nothing! Zero. Bupkus.

Awooo!

Hey!

[screaming]

[scary laugh]

Will you stop that?

Tell me you saw it. Please, please!
Tell me you saw it!

I saw something, but I'm not sure what.

It was a ghost. It was a ghost.
It was a ghost. It was a ghost.

Bonkers, quit acting like a toon.
And start acting like a cop.

Right. I mean, right!

I'm a cop. I'm a cop!

Hi, again.

I'm a really scared cop!

Miranda!

[screaming]

Hmm?

[chamber music plays]

May I cut in?

Why, certain--

[screaming]

Hi there.

[chuckles]

Oww! That hurt.

Hey, sorry, but you were
scaring my partner.

But that's what I do.

I'm a ghost. Dobie, the dopey ghost.

That's what they call me.

Hey! How come you weren't scared?

Yeah, how come?

Well, you're a toon.

Yeah, but I'm a toon ghost.

Yeah, but he's a toon ghost.

So? A toon is a toon.

They make me laugh... sometimes.

But they don't scare me.

So... what, I don't have to be scared?

That's right.

Gee, I don't know about this.

Well, I know. Take this!

And one of these! And while we're at it--

Bonkers, you're being silly.

Force of habit.

All right, buddy, halloween's over.
Move along! You're outta here.

Sorry, but I gotta haunt this place.
It's my job to stay here.

Yeah, well, it's my job
to get you outta here.

You're under arrest!

Oh, well, in that case.

Here you go.

This guy's dumber than he looks.

Hi!

Okay. He's out of the house. Let him go.

Now what do I do? I got no place to stay.

Well, uh, come on.
We'll think of something.

[sarge] A ghost?

Yeah, but I wasn't scared for a minute.

Much.

Look, Bobcat, all I want to hear
is that you got rid of him.

Not to worry, Sarge.

That ghost isn't gonna bother anybody.

[screams outside the office]

Hold on. You brought him here?

Of course we didn't. Did we?

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Bobcat, you're ruining my dinner break.

Get rid of that ghost!

[Dobie scaring laugh]

[screaming]

Grating's right. Dobie's gotta go.

[screaming]

[scary laugh]

Right. Um, Dobie, can we--

This place is great!

I'm staying for good!

[Dobie scary laugh]

[laughs]

[scary laugh continues]

Yaaa!

Yipe! Aah!

Whoa!

I have had just about enough--

of--

Yaa-ee-aah!

Sarge!

[crashing]

[laughing] That guy's a riot!

Whoooooaa!

Oh, no! Sarge has been... gooped!

Mmm. Taste like pea soup.

It is pea soup you jerk.
I was making dinner.

No sweat, Sarge.
We'll get him out of here.

Relax. On our way.

Um, you want me to reheat that?

[screaming]

You sure these can stop a ghost?

Trust me.

There he is! Let's get him!

[plays charge]

Well, it works for Mickey Mouse.

No! I'm outta here!

Just my size.

[chief] As you were, officer.

-Hiya, chief.
-Sir!

That man looked like he'd seen a ghost.

Lot of that going around, sir.

Yes, well, uh, carry on.

On three. One, two, three!

[both] Whoops!

While we're here playing hobgoblin games,

the rest of the city's out there
without a police force.

Now get rid of that ghost!

Bonkers, we're going to need help.

Yeah... and I know
just the guy for the job!

That is an ecto-plasistatic bolt.

And this is an ecto-plasistatic
bolt-o-matic

designed by me,
Professor Ludwig Von Drake,

to bedazzle your basic poltergeist.

All we wanna do is bag a ghost,
not roast a chicken.

[chuckles] Not poultrygeist. Poltergeist!

You know, a schpook.

Look, Von Duck.
Let's just find that "schpook"

and get rid-- get rid of him!

Then, I got just what you need.

What's that, a garbage bag?

No. It's a banshee-bagger.

You get the ghost in here,
and then, you never see him again.

Will it work on a Bobcat?

Oh, you got a nasty mind.

[blows raspberry]

Takes a while to get use to those things.

[beeping]

Wait! You might hit the inmates.

I know. Aim for de schprinklers!

Aah! Turn it off! Turn it off!

[alarm bell ringing]

That's funny. It worked
on the wicked witch of da west.

There he is. Get him!

Yuck!

Oh, this calls for desperate measures.

I say we evacuate the building

and zap him with an anti-ghost grenade.

Dis little baby gonna zap
that ghost into the twilight zone.

Or at least next Tuesday.

No. Forget it.

From now on, anything happens,
it's 'cause I make it happen.

Whoa!

[b*mb bouncing]

[sarge] Bobcat!

[sarge] Okay, Bobcat, now where are we?

[Bonkers] Got me. But it's awful wet.

[Miranda] And it smells rotten.

[Von Duck]
So, either this is the twilight zone,

next Tuesday, or a sewer!

[Snitch] Me, I'd put my money
on the sewer.

Huh?

Another toon? What is this, a convention?

Snitch! What are you doing here?

Research. What's your story?

Well, once upon a time,
there was a schmart duckling--

Save it for your memoirs, platypus.

[quack]

Okay. You know a way outta here?

Does a duck quack?

Only when he's provoked!

Hey! Where did everybody go?

Looks like your specter's
still making a spectacle of himself,

if you know what I mean.

Bobcat, if I lose my job over this,
I personally will make you eat your badge.

Professor, if you've ever had
a bright idea, now's the time.

Well, in my professional
scientific opinion...

Yes?

You can kiss the whole kit
and caboodle goodbye.

Hey, that phantom looks familiar.

You know that maniac?

Dis could be useful.

So could a duck-press.

-[raspberry]
-Excuse me a sec.

[clicks]

I found this in an old refrigerator.

Our friend in there, Dobie
the dopey ghost was the first toon

ever employed in a live action film.

I should've known.

He's an actor.

Well, he used to be.

That's the house Dobie was haunting.

Whoosh!

Begone, foul apparition!

I laugh at your threats, Wizard Krell.

[laughing]

Then so be it!

No! Noo! Nooo!

I condemn thee
to an eternity without rest!

Kazoolya! Kazzah!

I'm melting.

I'm melting!

[sobbing]

[thunder clap]

Cut!

Where did you get that last line?

I made it up. Like it?

No! No more add lips.

Remember that tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Oh, okay. See ya.

-So, what happened?
-Not much.

Dobie did his first big scene on day one.

Come day two-- he never showed up again.

And why not?

They changed locations.

And Dobie was too dumb to go with them.

Congratulations, Bobcat.

We finally found a toon
that's even toonier than you.

Thanks, Sarge. I think.

Now, the trick is to find
a way to get him out of my station.

That's what we need.
A trick, a magic trick!

Uh, Bonkers, this is not the time
to plan a children's party.

No, no, no. Listen.
You saw that old movie.

Dobie's afraid of the wizard, right?

Yeah, so?

So if we get him to think
the wizard's come back,

maybe he'll go away.

What? We're going to play dress-up again?

No! First, it's a dumb idea.

And second, I don't see
anybody here who fits the part.

Wait a minute. No way.

No how. No chance!

[thunder-like clapping]

[thunder rambling]

Aah!

What's the matter?

I can't remember my lines.

That's okay. I never could
remember mine either.

We'll improvise.

I know. Say "begone."

You begone, you overgrown--

No, no, no, sarge. Say that to him.

Ooh!

Right.

Begone! Uh, scat! Vamoose!

No, wait! I-- I remember my lines.

Um... nay, wizard.

It is you who shall be gone forever.

Huh-uh.

Whoaaa!

Perfect! Fabulous!

Boffo! Marvy! Cut!

Cut.

Okay.

[crash]

Shnooky, baby, sweetheart, booby.

[shuttering]

What style! What a performance!

You liked it?

I loved it, Dobie, Dobe-man, Dobemeister.
The camera adores you!

Really?

That's, uh...

Say, where is the camera?

The camera?

Um...

Uh, excuse me, sir.
Could you look over this script for me?

"The camera is hidden."

Oh! Of cour-- the camera is hidden! Right!

Sure adds to the realism, huh?

Uh, right!

Uh, so what are we gonna do next?

What next? You're done!

That's a wrap. Picture's over.

See you at the premiere!

Okay!

I'll just wait here.

[gulp]

[clears throat]

Could I see you a minute?

[chuckles] This directing job.
Always a thousand questions.

Listen, Mr. Hollywood director.
I want that toon gone. Clear?

I'm trying, Sarge, but I--

That's the deal, Bobcat.

I never want to see
that ghost in this precinct again.

[gulp] Whatever you say, Sarge.

Toons. Ray g*ns. Banshee baggers.

I'd like to bag the whole bunch of them.

Ah, well, at least Bobcat
got rid of that dumb ghost.

Yeah, what a relief!

[sarge] Noooo!

[chuckles] That guy's a riot.

[theme music playing]