02x20 - Cartoon Cornered

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back ♪
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

-[dog barking]
-[birds singing]

[snoring]

[Bonkers grunts] 7:30 and little
tick tock's still snoozin.


I'm late!

[alarm ringing]

And I'm supposed to be meeting
with the chief!

-[motor roaring]
-[tires screeching]

You got any idea what time it is?

Uh, time? [chuckles]

Bobcat!

No time for chit-chat, sergeant.

I have an important assignment.

I can handle it, chief!

Theft, arson, jaywalking.

Well, maybe not jaywalking.

I need you to drop by Wacky Toons Studios.

Wacky toons! My ol' home away from home!

[crashing]

Yeah, and pick up a cheque
from some showbiz fella named Duck Jones.

A cheque from Duck Jones?

I just knew I had more residuals
coming to me.

Jones is donating $50,000
to our charity fund.

Oh. That's nice, too.

I want a picture of you, Jones,
and that cheque in tomorrow's paper.

Good public relations, ya know.

A day with toons.

Wish I could go.

Why, sergeant, of course you can.

I couldn't. Way too busy.

Then it's settled. You're going.

You, me, and Miranda at Wacky Toons!

This is gonna be the
funniest day of your life!

So, you thought you
could tame Wildman Wyatt!

I'm comin' for ya, Grating.

Wildman wyatt's coming!

Wacky toons studios!

Hiya, flash!

Bonkers! I thought you were canceled.

Traded funny business for police business.

It's Officer Bonkers now.

Gotcha. Chicks dig a toon in uniform.

Have a funny day, sir.

Awww, shut up.

[Bonkers sniffing]

Ahh, smell that good ol' wacky air.

Ever consider working here again?

What? And give up a promising
career in law enforcement?

Let's get this over with.

-[g*nshots]
-Not that door!

-That's stage 13.
-What's the big deal?

Only the wackiest of the
wacky work in stage 13.

Anything can happen there.

Sounds the same as everything
else in this toony bin to me.

Come on. Duck Jones is in stage 9.

Remember, this is
Bucky Buzzsaw: The Movie.

As toon leading man,

This is your big chance
to stretch and squash.

I still get to trash Ranger Roger?

Trash? We're talking landfill!

Whoopidy-woo-hooo!

Let's look funny out there!

Lights...

Camera... annnnnimation!

Whoopidy-woo-hooo!

Good morning, Ranger Roger.

[saw screeching]

Time for your wake-up call.

[alarm ringing]

He's not talkin' to you!

Take it easy.

I don't want it.

What's the log jam down there?

Look out below!

Bobcat!

Cut, cut, cut! Hold it!

Sorry about the noise, D.J.

Ya see, our sarge under
there, he doesn't--

Mr. Jones,
we're from the police department,

to pick up your cheque.

Oh, my donation. Uh, here ya go.

Always happy to contribute
to a high-profile cause.

Now, where's that photographer?

Sheesh! A big check.

[ding] shut up the clock, at least.

[grunts] Toons.

[chuckles] Great gag!

Love the fat guy, Duck.
Where'd you get him? Duck?

Fat... guy?

I'm a police officer!

With a real sweet tooth.

At least I'm not a nut case
toon with an overbite!

You wanna get tossed off this lot?

Yes! Anything to get outta here!

Allow me to show you
a shortcut, sucker-- er, sarge.

Tell Miranda and Bob, something came up.

Oh, something's comin' up, alright.

Have a funny day!

Haven't seen so much sap
since I bit into a maple tree.

[sergeant] Some exit. Can't see a thing.

Somebody hit the lights!

You do, and I'll hit ya back!

A talking lamp, right.

You were expecting inanimate
props at a toon studio?

Props?

Yeeouch!

Prop room, nobody leaves unless
I get orders saying so.

Hmm, clock's okay,
but you don't look very toony to me.

Toony? Of course I don't look toony!

I'm human! I'm real!

Me and the boys don't take very kindly
to that sort of attitude.

Lights out!

[sergeant] Let me outta here!

Good night! Thanks again
for the big check, Mr. Jones.

Night, George.

Later, guy.

See ya in the moo-rning.

Still can't believe the sarge left
without meeting the Duck Jones.

[Miranda] Something he'll have
to live with for the rest of his days.

[lamp toon] So, you want outta here, huh

[sergeant] Yes, please!

Okay, we'll cut you some slack.

You ready, buzz?

[motor buzzing]

[screaming]

Whoa!

North pole?

[shivering]

Did he grow up on a barn?

Somebody, take care of that.

Bang up job, boys.

[yawning] Good night.

[alarm bell rings]

Sounds like a dangerous
criminal type is bustin' out.

I know you're out there, Grating.

[wind whistling]

At least no t-t-t-toons.

[yawning]

[brakes screech] Mornin', Mr. B.

Mornin', Bucky.

Uh-oh! I forgot.

Mr. Sargie?

Whoopidy-woo-hooo?

[yawning and stretching]

[Bucky] Where's the human?

[all laughing]

He kinda blew outta here last night.

A sourpuss like that loose in the studio
could be big trouble!

Have a funny day, funny.

Funny!

[alarm clock rings]

Yaah!

What's a cactus doing in the--

Alright, where'd the snow go?

How do you get outta here?

Come in late, leave early,
and ask for more money.

Hey! Wait a minute!

Sorry I'm late again, sarge.

You see, my alarm clock's miss--

Sarge?

Sarge?

Yoo-hoo!

Sergeant Grating reported in?

Not yet.

Wow! Talk about being late.

Just rub it in, why don't ya?
I'll get a new alarm clock!

The important thing now
is that the sarge is missing!

Calling all cars!
This is an all-points bulletin.

Be on the lookout
for one sergeant Grating--

not very tall, not very thin,
not very much hair, either.

That is all.

Bonkers, calm down. So he's a little late.

Miranda, you won't believe what's coming
over the wire.

[Miranda] Be right there.

No more APB's! Check his office.

Yeah! Haven't looked
in the filing cabinet yet.

Whoa! Uh, hello. Can I help you?

Uh, yeah.

[clears throat]

I'm Granny Grating.

Any grandma of the sarge's
is a grandma of mine!

Wow! Lookin' for the sarge, huh?

Uh, so... how long ya in town for?

Where's my little copper?

Uh, heh heh. Funny you should ask.

He's gone!

Abducted by plaid-faced
cannibal cop-nibblers!

Or-or worse--

[telephone rings]

Sergeant Grating's not in right now.

Please leave a message at the beep. Beep.

This is Bucky. I locked Grating in the...

-Bucky? Can't talk now.
-...Prop room.

-He's vanished.
-What? You did?

-He is?
-Yes. Right.

No! I'll be right there.

[in unison] Have I got big news for you!

[in unison] You go first!
No, you go! I insist!

The sarge is lost in wacky toons!

Wildman Wyatt's loose!

[gasps]

Uh, Bonkers...

Oh, I'm such a rude dude.

Miranda, this is--

Call me, Wild.

Thanks for the tip, fur face.

Looks like I got an appointment
with a cue-ball-headed cop!

[tears off dress]

Bonkers, get us outta this.

Piece o' cake.

Good. We don't have much time.

No, I mean I shouldn't have had
that cake for breakfast.

I can't budge!

[grunting]

Ohh! Aah!

You alright back there?

I'm a toon, Miranda.
It only hurts when you don't laugh.

[cow mooing]

No, no.

Bigger.

[cow mooing]

See? Caress the vowel.

-[gasp]
-Water...

[thunder]

[engine whirring]

[crash]

Have a funny day, sir.

Five minutes with the little lumber lover
who got me into this!

[buzzing]

Buck, when we roll,
ya must be on your lovely red "x."

See? Now, shall we do a run-through?

Relax, DJ, this stunt's
easier than gnawing off a log.

Yes, yes, yes. All very run-of-the-mill
for a pro like you.

Places!

Buzzsaw!

Thought ya saw the last of me,
you miserable little flat-tail!

You have no sense of funny,
that's your problem.

From where I stand,

you're the one with the problem,
smart toon.

Ready when you are, DJ.

...and animation!

Whoa!

[siren blaring]

Yaah!

No! Aah!

No more toons!

Grating! Ya miserable little flatfoot!

It's Wildman Wyatt!

Payback time!

[bell ringing]

[siren blaring]

How did you bust out of prison?

Practice.

Call a cop!

But you are a cop.

Yaah!

Whoa!

[clock rings]

Thought this was a Donald Duck picture.

Studio pinheads, always recasting.

[clears throat] You're late!
Here, get to work!

Bucky, where's the sarge?

Running from some non-toon goon.

W-w-w-wyatt!

This is a dream come true.

Whoaah!

Whoa!

Bonkers!

Better let me lead.
In here, I'm the expert.

Hate to see an amateur.

Exactly the side gag I was expecting.

Huh?

You're fired!

You're dead!

Now let's see,
If the right foot goes in here,

Then the left foot goes--

Whoaah! Aah! Aah!

Help!

[horse whinnying]

A-hyuck! You must be my stunt double.

Never had one of those before.

[horse neighing]

[trumpet fanfare]

Stunt?

No! Not--

[neighing]

[exclaiming]

[horse whinnying]

[screaming]

It's the sarge!

Whoaah!

Outta my way!

[screaming]

Whoaah!

[thud]

Gawrsh...

[clears throat]

Gawrsh!

Oh! You're that new stunt toon.

I am not a toon!

I am a human being!

A-hyuck! Ya can't fool me!

Only a stunt toon
would have the nerves for stage 13!

[thunder clap]

Bonkers! What're you waiting for?

Did he have to go in there?

Stage 13!

You can't run forever, copper!

Yaah!

Aah!

Uhh!

Ooh.

Whoa!

[whip crack]

[screaming]

[grunting]

[alarm rings]

[wristwatch beeps]

Uh?

Uhhee! Aah!

Whoa!

[ringing]

Aah!

Gotta get away.

Not this kinda get-away!

This is it, Grating, the end of the line.

[screaming]

[ringing]

[screaming]

Did you hear that?

Sarge is in trouble!

Emergency!

Help!

Didn't even get to pulverize him.

Wyatt! Surrender now.

I might go easy on ya.

Think I'll go hard on you.

[chomp]

Yeow! Oww!

You psycho gorilla!

[both screaming]

Um, cut? Stop! Hold it!

Lu-u-unch!

[both screaming]

Hey!

I'm alive!

And you're busted!

Have a funny day!

Way to go, sarge.

Never bring me here again.

You walked a mile in a toon's
shoes today, sarge.

Still don't get it, do ya, Bobcat?

I... hate... too--

I hate to see what's been going on
back at the precinct without me.

See ya, sarge.

Well, come on. Haven't got all day.

[ringing]

[theme music playing]