01x29 - Cereal Surreal

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go-- ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're-- ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

So listen for the Slap

and the Sniffle,

and the Flop.

Whoa!

In every bowl of Wheat Crunchies cereal!

[director] Cut!

[bell rings]

Okay, guys, that's a wrap.

[stuttering] What's the deal
with the milk? I'm freezing.

How many times do I have to ask?

My luck, I'll catch a death of cold
and end up sounding like him.

You should be so lucky,
Mr. No-talent-fall-down-all-the-time.

No talent?

It just so happens,
I get more fan mail than you.

Uh, excuse me.

Fan mail? I get 20 baskets in one week.

That's fan mail.

-[Flop] I've been on three postcards!
-[Slap, Sniffle and Flop] arguing.

[Slap] You have no idea
what you're talking about!

[Flop] Don't tell me,
one of them you wrote yourself!

Excuse me!

[cutlery clatters]

Uh, my uncle...

I mean Mr. Wheatbottom...

I mean your boss.

He, uh, he wants to
see you guys in his office.

[Wheatbottom] Boys, you've been starring

in my cereal commercials
for over 20 years.

You're professionals and I respect you.

So I won't insult you
by beating around the bush.

Slap, Sniffle and Flop,

meet your replacements,
Turbo, Banshee and Kapow.

Hey, what's happenin', man?

What's up?

Oh, man, I just want to say
that it is an honor,

this thing, like, meeting you guys.

I grew up watching
you dudes on the tube, man.

And so did my grandmother.

[replacements laughing]

Slide me some skin!

Wheatbottom, you cannot be serious.

You're firing us and giving
our jobs to these... to the hooligans?

What can I do? You're old-fashioned.

Kids today want more than Slap,
Sniffle and Flop in their cereal.

They want more edge.
They want us to push the envelope.

They want ring-a-ding-a-ling.

[vaudeville music plays]

[music stops]

Why didn't you say so?

We're hip.

We're with it.

We're what's happening, baby.

They're pathetic.

Tell 'em to take a hike, Wheatbottom.

Well, think of all the years
we've been together, J.W.

Uh... okay.

Look, I want to be fair to everyone.

How about I try out
Turbo, Banshee and Kapow

for a few weeks
just to see if they catch on?

[all stuttering]

-Well... Okay.
-Okay.

Fair enough. Let the public decide.

Right. Let 'em decide...

and then get our contracts ready,
Wheatbottom,

because they're gonna love us.

[clock] Alarm, alarm, alarm.

Alarm, alarm, alarm.

Alarm, alarm, alarm.

Alarm, alarm, alarm.

Alarm, alarm, alarm.

Alarm, alarm, alarm.

Alarm, alarm, alarm.

Alarm, alarm, alarm.

Alarm, alarm, alarm.

What kinda wake up is that?

You're supposed to rrrringggg!

Yeah. Okay.

[alarm ringing]

I've gotta stop buying those cut-rate
appliances at the toon swap meet.

Yeow!

Ahh, breakfast!
The most important meal of the day.

And my favoritest breakfast
is Wheat Crunchies.

Yes, Wheat Crunchies.
Made of all natural wheat by-products,

loaded to the brim with crunchy
honest-to-cereal goodness,

and always the comforting sound
of Slap, Sniffle and Flop.

[silence]

[alarms and rockets blaring]

Ow!

Uhh...

They changed it!

"Now made with the new and improved
sounds of Turbo, Banshee and Kapow"?

Well at least there's still
a prize at the bottom.

There's always a prize at the bottom.

Anybody home? [echoing]

It's gotta be here somewhere.
I found something!

Oh. It's my big toe.

Me thinks something
is rotten in cereal land.

I'd better contact my trusted confidant
and crime-fighting partner,

Lucky Piquel.

Join me, won't you?

[engine revving]

[gasping for breath]

[snoring]

What? What?

Lucky, wake up! Rise and shine!

Grab your socks and punch the clock!

We've got a code purple, Lucky!

Code purple?

No time to waste! Let's roll!

Uh, refresh me.

What exactly is a code purple again?

No prize in my cereal.

Right. Well, that's what--

Did you say no prize in your cereal?

Yeah, Lucky, horrifying, isn't it?

You woke me out of a dream

about being named Cop of The Year,

because you had no prize in your cereal?

Of course. You don't think I'd let
my pal miss out on a big case, do ya?

-[man whistling]
-Hey, nice pajamas!

[woman] Taking your cat for a walk?

[man 1] What is that,
a tent you're wearing?

[public jeering]

[man 3] Are those flannel?

[man 4] Hubba hubba!

See you at the office, Lucky.

I gotta get away from these toons.

[yawns]

Daddy! Daddy!
Something terrible has happened!

What is it, honey? Marilyn, are you sick?

Did mommy wreck the car?
Is the house on fire?

There's no prize in my Wheat Crunchies.

[chuckles]

Now, uh...

[Lucky chuckles]

Don't bother daddy again
when he's trying to sleep. Okay?

Second time today.
What are the odds on something like that?

Next person wakes me up is gonna get...

[yawns]

[ringing]

Listen up, bozo! This better be impor--

Oh. Oh. Chief Kanifky, uh, sir!

Pickle, we've got us a serious situation.
I want you down here on the double.

Yes, sir!

Sorry about my behavior on the phone, sir.

It's just that all morning

I've been pestered
by ridiculous complaints.

"No prize in my cereal."
"No prize in my cereal."

Can you believe how stupid--

What's ridiculous about that?

Oh. No, n-nothing, sir.

Did I say ridiculous?

I meant, uh, tragic.

Why, just minutes ago,
I told Bonkers, uh...

well we've got
a pode curple-- code purple.

I'm not a sentimental man, Pickle,

but I sure was looking forward

to getting my official Wheat Crunchie
crime fighter decoder ring.

[stifling sobs]

[sobbing]

There, there...

sir.

Ahem.

You won't mention this
to anyone will you, Pickle?

No, sir. My lips are sealed.

Now get out there
and get to the bottom of this case.

Where's my prize? Where's my prize?

[Wheatbottom]
This is awful, terrible, a calamity!

Prizes are missing
from every cereal box in the city.

Customers are demanding refunds.

If this continues, I'll be ruined!

Why don't you show us the factory,
Wheatbottom?

See if we can solve this little mystery.

[Wheatbottom] As you can see,
everything is operating normally.

Mm-hmm. Well, prizes sure
seem to be going into the boxes okay.

Oh, boy, oh, boy!

I've gotta get one of those decoder rings.

[grunting]

And this is where they're shipped off
to the supermarkets.

Well there's no problems here
that I can see, Wheatbottom.

[muffled screams]

Maybe I spoke too soon.

This could be the break
we've been waiting for.

[grunting]

Just doing
a little undercover work, Lucky.

A little undercover--
very little, of all the...

Hold it. That gives me an idea.

All we got to do is stake out
a supermarket

that's expecting a delivery
of Wheat Crunchies...

then, wait and see who shows up.

And guess who that's gonna be.

[all laughing]

[Bonkers] Oh, I hate this, Lucky.
The floor is freezing.

[Lucky] I know.

[Bonkers] And hard.

I know.

And I can't see anything in the dark.

That is why they call it the dark.

If you could see,
it would be called the light.

Just sit tight and your eyes will adjust.
Trust me.

[beeping]

[alarm blaring]

Let's make this look good, dudes.

We want the coppers to think
we're Slap, Sniffle and Flop.

Tell me why we're doing this once again.

Okay, for the last time,

if Wheatbottom thinks the old-timers
have been stealing all the prizes,

what'll happen?

He'll be ticked off?

Right!

And then what?

Aw, I give up.

Doh and then we get
their jobs, toon brain.

The sweetest deal in show biz.

Oh, oh!

And eventually muscle Wheatbottom out
and take over the whole operation.

[all laughing]

Uh-oh. Sure hope nobody finds out it's us,

Slap, [sniffles] Sniffle and Flop,
stealing prizes from the cereal.

Yeah.

That'd be awful.

I don't believe it.
It's my heroes, Slap, Sniffle and Flop.

Three guys who float around
in a bowl of cereal are your heroes?

Yeah, them and the guy in the toilet.

Yeah. Look, here's the plan.

You hit the lights and
I'll arrest them. Got it?

Okay, you three, you're under arrest!

You have the right to-- Yuck!

Hey, did you hear that?

We have the right to yuck!

[all three laughing]

Wait till I get my hands on you! Whoa!

[impostors laughing]

Lucky, pal, speak to me.

Where'd they getcha? Here? Here? Here?

[laughing] Stop that!

-[continues laughing]
-What a guy.

On the verge of death
and still he has his sense of humor.

Will you get off of me?
It's not blood, it's ketchup.

Ketchup?

Nobody douses my pal
with condiments and gets away with it.

I'm gonna cream those guys.

[acoustic guitar playing]

[wind howls]

[smack]

[Bonkers]
And it's a high fly ball to center!

-The center fielder...
-I got it! I got it!

[Bonkers] The runner rounds third,
coming into home.

Slide, slide!

You're out!

-What do you mean out?
-You heard me.

You need glasses or something?

-You ain't saved by a mile.
-Says who?

Says me, you big bum!

Who are you calling a bum?

Who do you think's calling you a bum?

You're outta here. Hit the showers, bub!

Nah, it's okay, Lucky.
We'll get 'em next game.

[gulp]

Wait a minute. What game?
What am I doing?

[gulp]

They're gettin' away!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Aw, nuts!

Whoo!

What are you doing?

Whoa!

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!

Will you let go of me?

Whoo!

[crashes]

Uhh... I gotta get out
of this toon division.

[man on TV] So try the new
disposable electric shaver from Bunco.

And remember, if it isn't a Bunco...
then it isn't a--

We interrupt this program to bring you...

Us! Your old pals, Sniffle,

Slap and Kapow, uh, I mean Flop.

Look, daddy!

Remember how much better
Wheat Crunchies used to be

when there were prizes inside?

[sigh]

Do I ever.

You kids have to let
the Wheat Crunchie people

how mad you are.

So go to the window and yell out,

"we're ticked off,
and we're not gonna take it anymore!"

You gotta be kidding.

We're not kidding.

And make sure you yell real loud

so you wake up all the mommies
and daddies who are trying to sleep.

Lucky, you have got to see this.

[crowd] We aren't gonna take it anymore!

We're ticked off
and we're not gonna take it anymore!

We're ticked off...

I don't believe it.

We're ticked off
and we're not gonna take it anymore!

We're ticked off
and we're not gonna take it anymore!

[sighs] Well, I'm glad
my kid has more sense.

Think so, huh?

We're ticked off
and we're not gonna take it anymore!

We're ticked off
and we're not gonna take it anymore!

[chief] "Half of Hollywood kept awake

as kids shout
from their windows all night.

Officials say Slap, Sniffle
and Flop are to blame."

Guess it's pretty obvious those guys
are troublemakers, eh, J.W.?

Yeah, J.W., sign us up
and you'll be rid of them for good.

Are you kidding?

This proves that Slap, Sniffle
and Flop are more popular than ever.

I'm sorry, fellas,
but they're in and you're out.

I don't think you understand, pops.

We want that job and we aim to get it.

[groaning]

You're making a terrible mistake.

-You're the one who made the mistake
-by not hiring us for the job.

And quit squirming.

What are you doing?

This conveyor belt
leads to the wheat shredder!

Hey, you catch on fast.

You gonna sign or not?

Never.

Okay, pop, suit yourself.

You're about to become
a nutritious breakfast cereal.

[Sniffle] Hold it right there!

Yeow!

[groaning]

[groaning]

Let's get something to tie 'em up with.

Oh, no, you don't.

Hello! they're the bad guy's not us.

Yeah, sure, tell it to the judge.

[Wheatbottom] No, he's right!

Slap, Sniffle and Flop are innocent!

It's the other three
who are behind all this.

Uh-oh. Time for a little
operation quick change.

Sorry for the misunderstanding, guys.

But if you'll excuse me,
I've got some arresting to do.

Is it my imagination,

or is there a certain,
how you say, resemblance?

We're the real Slap, Sniffle and Flop.

No way. We are.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah!

[yelling and screaming]

I've gotta get out of this toon division.

[yelling and screaming]

[blows whistle]

All right, all right.

All right, all right. Hold it down.

People!

Hold it down!

That's better. There's only one
civilized way to settle this.

The milk test.

I know for a fact
that the real Slap, Sniffle and Flop

never get soggy in milk.

[whistles]

Everybody into the pool!

-Hey, I can't swim.
-Me neither.

I can, but I hate milk.

[laughing]

Is there a problem, fellas?

Sort of.

Hey, wait!

Uhh!

But we just took care of it.

I don't mean to be any trouble,

but could you fellas
switch this thing off?

[motor stops whirring]

Timing is everything.

[gulps]

There they go!

[screaming]

[exclaiming]

Yeow!

Yeow!

Well it's--been an interesting afternoon.

Yeah. Why can't every day be like this?

Toons.

[Wheatbottom] Boys, I've made up my mind.
I'm giving you a lifetime contract.

Thanks, J.W. Great to be back!

Wait till my fans hear.

I'll need a secretary
to answer all my fan mail.

Ah-ah-ah-choo!

[sniffles]

Ha! The only thing you need

is a decongestant
to unplug that nose of yours.

Oh, yeah?

Well, it just so happens
I have more talent in my nose...

[Flop] You have mucus in your nose.

[Sniffle] ...than your whole body, Mister!

[Flop] Oh, forget about my whole body.
You're so smart,

you can't even find some antihistamine.

-[Sniffle] Oh, really?
-[arguing continues]

[Sniffle] I got so sore with you.

You have no idea-- talk about fan mail.

[Flop] One of them you wrote yourself.
I can't understand you.

I can't stand your words!

[silence]

[theme music playing]