01x41 - Stressed to k*ll

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

-[Lucky] Bonkers, what are you doing?
-[Bonkers] Nothing.

[Lucky] Well, when you're finished,
why don't you try doing something?

-[honk]
-[Lucky exclaims]

Nobody has to lie in the
middle of the floor anyway.

Watch your step!
You put your foot in my mouth! [giggling]

Hey, hey, out of my way. Will you let
go of my leg.

[Lucky grunting]

Take it easy there, Lucky.

Relax or you're going to have an accident.

[Lucky crashes]

Relax? Relax? Relax?

The chief gives me one week
to catch that art thief.

If I don't, I'm out of a job.
And the toon says relax?

[Toots honking]

Not now. Not today.

-I do not need this kind of grief.
-[crashing]

Collate reports of his previous
crimes, establish an M.O.,

develop a geographic pattern,
develop a personality profile.

[Bonkers whistles]

My, my, my, my, my, my, my!

Now what?

Oh...

Nothing. Not a thing.

Bonkers...

I need complete concentration.
[door slams]

Never mind me.
You won't even know I'm here.

Who are you? And what are you doing--

I'm a painter. I paint.

Won't take long. Go on with your business.

-Ow!
-Wow!

What, what, what, what?

Says here, "Humans get


heartbeats in a lifetime."

[coughs] Leave me alone.

Then after that-- [scoffs] No more.
Nada. Party's over. Lights out.

Let me rephrase that. Leave me alone, now!

-[door bangs open]
-Good morning!

Afternoon or evening, sir or madam.

Can I interest you in a set
of encyclopedias "A" through "Z,"

missing only "B" through "Y,"

available at an introductory price
at nearly twice their actual value?

[sighs] What do you think you're doing?

I needed extra cash. I'm short on funds

and I couldn't get my landlady
to raise the rent.

If you're broke, why would you
want her to raise the rent?

I couldn't raise it.

Okay, 72 heartbeats a minute.

That's 4,300 an hour. 103,000 a day.

-[Bonkers] These are statistics, Lucky.
-[Lucky's eyes stuttering]

It kinda adds up, huh?

Maybe you'd like a fly swatter,
comes with a lifetime guarantee?

Of course, we're talking
about the fly's life.

Definitely the fly's life.

Get away from my desk!

According to this, stress can run the
heart rate right on up through the roof.

You know scientists say that
stress causes wrinkles,

but this face cream can--

You! out, now.

-I have brushes.
-No.

Factory irregular parachutes,
also a lifetime guarantee.

[Lucky] No.

Want a rewarding career
as a dental assistant?

No.

Now what did I do with that turpentine?

[gulp]

[belches]

[spitting]

[belching]

Wonder how many heartbeats
you're using, Lucky.

[heart beating rapidly]

Whoo! That old ticker's in overdrive.

Eatin' 'em up like there's no tomorrow.
You'll pardon the expression.

Now, before I paint, I'll have
to scrape off all this asbestos.

Vacuum cleaner? Dance lessons?
Investment advice.

Want your palm read?

I'll come back. You seem stressed.

[heart beeping rapidly]
Listen to those babies go!

Is this a better time?

[yelling] Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! I said
I need quiet!

Now what is the matter with you guys?

Can't you see Lucky's trying to work?

Let's give him total, absolute silence.

[silence]

There. So quiet...

[whispering] you can hear a pin drop.

No, please! Don't drop me!
Anything but that!

-I'm falling!
-[thud]

That's it. [sobbing]

I can't take it anymore. I can't.

I just... can't.

[Chief] Pickle!

Why are you cat napping when you
should be working on that case?

[stuttering] Yes, sir. I was, sir. I-- I--

Oh, I can see you're very hard at work.

Still found time to redecorate
your office though.

Well, no, sir. I-- I mean--

Did I authorize this? Nice shade of drab.

As you can see, chief,

we've plotted a map of the
scenes of all the crimes.

And that is how we/Lucky

determined that the culprit
is none other than...

the Mole!
Zee internationally known art thief!

Uh... yes, sir.
We've been close to getting him--

Uh, but he always escapes, Sir.

Don't-- pfft! Don't do that.
Don't ever do that.

Uh, it's almost as if he's in the room
with us listening to our plans, Sir.

Man, I don't want excuses. I want results!

And I want them now!

-Fly swatter?
-It certainly is.

You wouldn't happen to have
any encyclopedias, would you?

[Chief] Somebody sold me
an incomplete set.

I need volumes "A" and "Z."

Uh How-how many heartbeats you figure
I used up so far, just ballpark figure?

Hubba hubba hubba! Yahoo!

We got a 65-000 in progress.

Pennsylvania Avenue. That's art theft!

Let's move, move, move!

What's wrong with you? [stammering] You
look stressed! Stressed! Stressed!

I am not... stressed. [hyperventilating]

Not stressed?



[alarm sounds]

[giggling] The thing
I love most about priceless art...

it's worth so much money!

-[revs car]
-[tires screech]

There he is, boss! There! There!
Hit the siren!

Yowser, bowser. It's showtime!

I would love to hit the siren.

How about that Lucky Piquel?

I'm telling you this man is so tense,
his ulcers have ulcers!

Rim shot! Ha ha! Good.

Look up "stress" in the dictionary,

it says, "see Lucky." Ha ha! Yeah, mama.
Home cooking!

Hello! I know you're in there.

But I can hear your
blood pressure going up!

That's it, Lucky. Keep your focus.
Breathe deep. Don't give in to Mr. Stress.

I am... not... stressed.

[Bonkers] Oh, no?

Then why are you getting those
twitches by your right eye too?

Careful there.

[Lucky stuttering] Quite frankly
I don't know what you're talking about.

It's not a... twitch. It's just a twitter.

-It's a twitch.
-Twitter.

-Twitch.
-Twitter.

-Twitter.
-Twitch.

-[Bonkers] Twitter.
-[Lucky] Correct.

[Bonkers] Rats.

-[zoom]
-Whoa!

-[zoom]
-[crash]

[Bonkers] There! Left at ready-to-wear!
Ran into sporting goods.

Up the escalator! Down to cosmetics.

-Left to... right at lingerie!
-[crash]

Left at electronics!

[radiator hissing]

Uh oh. You're getting another twitter.

-[insects tweeting]
-[soft music playing]

[mumbling]

Bonkers.

All right, it is a twitch. So what.

Sweet pea, what is wrong with you tonight?

Can't you sleep?

No! The Mole!

I don't have any moles.

Are you feelin' all right?
How about a glass of milk?

[stuttering] Milk is good.
Good idea. Cows give us milk.

[gasping]
I cannot let this case get to me.

I can't-- can't-- I can't get stressed.

Just 'cause my job's on the line,
my career,

my house, my life, everything.
[teeth chattering]

[man] Here's Hip Bumpkin and the Boys
playin' My Old Kentucky Home.

But Marsha, you're making a mountain
out of a mole... hill.

Tomorrow, partly cloudy
with a chance of...

Mole.

Mole, Mole, Mole, Mole! Mole... Mole!

Boss. Boss? Are you in there, boss?

Hello! Earth to Lucky. Come in, Lucky!

I didn't... sleep very... well.

Ooh, you look like something
the cat dragged in...

after it had been on the highway.

In a rainstorm, while somebody
used it as a dartboard,

if a big dog came by--

I get the point!

You need help, Mr. Man,
and I know just the person.

Say moo.

You mean ahh.

Yeah. I mean moo.

Moo?

I wanna moo moo here and a moo moo there.

-Here a
-Moo.

-There a
-Moo

Every where a moo moo!

Moo.

[both singing] Eya eya yo!

How is he, doc?

A little flat and the tempo is way off!

Otherwise, he's not so good.

He has a severe case
of advanced anxietal tensionitis,

which is to say... he's stressed.

But don't you worry about it.

I'm gonna cure him quicker than a ham.

I fix him up like--

[silence]

somebody in the sound effects
department is snoozing on the job.

[snap]

Now, you listen to the doctor
and you gonna be fine as dandy.

All you gotta do is burn off the stress

with some erugle-- arugle--
emi... ha ha ha!

With some exercise.

Exercise?

I hate exercise.

But, Lucky, things have changed
since the last time you exercised...

assuming you ever did.

Now, it's all fun and games with neato
cool machines like this!

[machine whirring]

All right. Enough fun. Turn it off!

Now, you won't have to do a thing, Lucky.

-This machine will do it for you.
-It will?

With teeny, tiny,

painless sort of electrical
charges directly into your muscles.

You could do 40,000 sit ups
in under one minute.

[smashing repeatedly]

Bonkers... this is... very stressful.

Turn it... off... now!

Not yet, boss.
You have another 39,000 left.

Hubba hubba hubba!

Art theft in progress... corner
of Lois Lane and Della Street.

Let's go, go, go!

[Chief] So the Mole has struck again
and again you've failed to catch him.

And is something wrong with you, Pickle?
You seem very stressed.

[stuttering] Huh? Stressed, Sir?
Oh, no. No. No, no, no, sir.

No, No, Not at all, sir.

Oh, he's fit as a fiddle, Chief,
never been better. Top of his fun!

-[Lucky thuds]
-He'd better be...

because there's an exhibit of priceless
paintings arriving at the city museum.

And I want the Mole behind bars
before it gets here...

or I know at least one officer
who'll be looking for a new job.

And, Pickle, relax, man.
You look horrible.

[shuddering]

[Lucky] Give me one good reason
I should go back to this quack?

[Bonkers] 'Cause if you don't lose
your stress and catch the Mole,

your career's basically history.

Hey, Bob, that's my parking space.

Oh, I need this. Fine. Well I'll tell
you what

this little dweeb picked the wrong day
to mess with me!

Excuse me, pal. Is this a runt only zone?

'Cause I don't see your name on it.

So, I think I'll just take it.
You got a problem with that?

Yeah. I got a problem with that.

Oh, my word.

You know, for such a big fella,

you have a really small head.

[punches thrown]

[thud]

[doctor] Uh huh. Uh huh. Yes, yes.

Mmm. Yes. Uh huh. No.

-[doctor] Is it bad?
-It's not good.

-[doctor] Aha!
-Is it good?

It's not bad.

Let me check his reflexes.

Ahh! Now I see the problem!

This man is stressed.

You're gonna have to get him into
a totally stress-free environment

and keep him there.

So the big guy can interfere
with my plans?

I think not.

And here's my bill.

[Bonkers] The doc says painting is
an excellent way to relieve stress, Lucky.

I don't know how to paint.

Doesn't matter.
Just put the brush to the canvas

and feel your cares melting away.

Well, how do you feel?

-Same.
-Try again.

[Lucky] You know, uh...

actually this...

this is kinda nice.

It's, uh, relaxing, I guess.

It's peaceful.

No pressure.

Nobody to please but myself.

Yeah, I like this.

[grape 1] Hey, fellas,
look what's holdin' a paintbrush!

[grape 2] He barely knows
how to use a toothbrush!

Guys, shh! Knock it off! Don't--

Somebody oughta revoke
his artistic license!

I hope he stays inside the numbers!

He couldn't paint the broadside of a barn!

[grapes laughing]

[sputtering softly]

[Bonkers] The beach is a great place
to get away from stress.

Not to mention that bunch of sour grapes.

Uh, sorry, folks. We're taking
the sand in for inventory.

You'll have to move over there.

Yeah.

Now this is called the lotus position,
and it's very... relaxing.

I-- I can't-- I can't move.

What is relaxing about that, Bonkers?

Just sit...

and get in touch
with your inner peaceful self.

I'll be back in a while.

Hmm... It is nice out here, I guess.

It's calm and serene, really. Yeah.

I like this just fine.

Of course, it would be a little nicer
if I wasn't so near the surf...

with the tide coming in.

[gurgling] Uh, Bonkers...

Bonkers! [gurgling]

[Mole] All right, all right.
A little to the left.

Now a little to the right.

Ahh...

[crash]

That's perfect.

[groaning softly] What is this thing?

The answer to your problems.
It's an isolation tank.

'Cause once you're in there,
nothing can bother you.

It's just you and your deepest,
truest, inner-est self, grasshopper.

I-- I-- I already looked for
my inner self. There's no one in there.

Come on in. The water's fine.

I am not getting in there!
No way, no how! Uh uh.

Oh? You have a new job lined up already?

All right. I'll try it for
a minute. Just a minute.

Sweet dreams.

[Lucky sighing]

[Lucky] This isn't so bad.
No light, no sound.

[chuckles]

No Bonkers.

Maybe I can finally relax.

[humming]

Yep. Gosh, I feel like a new man.

Okay, Bonkers. I been in here long enough.

You can let me out now, pal.
It's been great. Bonkers?

[pounding on door] Hey, Bonkers! Bonkers!

[Lucky continues pounding door]

Let me see... today's Friday.
First day of a three day weekend.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now... I'm stressed.

[Lucky groaning]

When I get my hands on that little
orange fuzzball Bonkers...

Oh, yeah! It's gonna be payback time!

Okay, Lucky. Oh now, that's right,
I gotta keep talkin' in here.

I gotta, I gotta keep that blood flowin'
to the old brain.

I should've gone to the little boys'
room before I got in here.

[clock ticking]

♪ A, B, C, D ♪

Wait, wait! Who says that's the order?

Nobody asked your opinion. No one
asked ya. Oh, shut up!

Of course, maybe,
just maybe, think about it.

The chicken and the egg came
at the same time!

That's it! Oh, man, I am good!

Oh, okay, okay, that's funny,
'cause I never noticed that before.

There's a map of the whole entire universe
on the inside of my left eyelid.

Do you like tapioca on your burger?

Oh, yes, I do indeed. I really do.

Relish too?

Let's say I like it a lot.
Speaking of relish,

it's too bad your friend Officer
Pickle couldn't be here.

You know Lucky,
always stuck in the office...

always stuck in... the office.

[shouting] I left him stuck in the office!

Oh how could I do such a thing?
What's wrong with me?

Where's my brain?

[clink]

Here it is.

No, that's mine.

[Lucky] Well, what next?

I guess I could compose another opera or--

[machine starting up]

something's happening.

Changing.

This is strange.

It's-- it's like I'm going back

to some kind of primal, primitive,
primordial other pieced up state.

It's like I'm regressing to-- [barks]

What was that? Who said that?

[sputtering]

Hoo. Huh.

Would you look at this mess?

Bonkers must have had another of his toon
parties while I was--

[sputters] Aah!

[grunting and barking]

Heavens! Look at the time!

I must get to the museum
before the paintings arrive.

[gasps]

What happened to my car?

Pickle, do you know who did this?

I think I just saw my inner self
and it wasn't pretty.

[barking]

You know you have very little time left
to catch the Mole--

Pickle? Where'd he get off to?

[bang]

[bang bang]

Fall-Apart, he's gone!

Why don't you ask
if the monkey's seen him?

Rather strong words from a rabbit!

I believe he may have been
in the tank just a little too long.

I seem to be having a little car trouble.

Suppose you can give me a lift to the--

[vehicles honking]

We'll never find him in all this traffic!

[growling]

Why looky! I believe it is Mickey Mouse!

Where? Where? Mickey, Mickey!

Lucky, what are you doing?

Bonkers, do you know what you are?

You are a-- [barking]

That's not very nice!

Would I call you a "rrak rrak"?

[barking]

Lucky, what is this? Don't you know me?

It's Bonkers, your partner, your pal,

your very best friend in the whole wide--

your partner.

Say... is that Pickle climbing
the side of that building?

Why, yeah. It's 'cause he's, um...

hot on the Mole's trail, chief. Yeah.

Excellent! I've been waiting
for this moment.

[Lucky barking and growling]

I do this not because I love art,
but because I love stealing! Ha ha ha ha!

[laughing]

Because deep down in my soul,

I have no soul!

[laughing]

[both exclaim]

Good thing toons aren't afraid of heights.

[gulp]

Another toon myth bites the dust.

Hold on, boss. Don't move. I'm coming!

[barking]

[thudding]

[exclaims]

[growling]

Boss, get down from there! It's dangerous!

[growling]

Now, how did I get up here? Oh...

Oh, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

[chattering]

[gulp]

[falling]

[crash]

I'm sorry, Mister. Oh, gosh,
I hope I didn't--

Oh, it's you!

You-- the Mole!

Oh!

There it goes... all that stress.

I feel like a big weight's lifted
off of me.

[grunting] I wish...
I could say the same. [groans]

[theme song playing]