02x37 - The Artist Formerly Known as Spot/The Nose Knows

[bunniefuu]

-[theme music playing]
-[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
Chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
In revelrous adventures ♪

-♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

[barks]

♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1 oh wonderful! ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

[puppy yipping]

[rooster crows]

Giddyap, Captain.

[neighs]

[whinnies]

Come and get it, Captain!

Come on!

Man, that's got "thrill ride"
written all over it.

You guys should check this out.

[squawking, yipping]

[telephone ringing]

All right, let's go, Captain!

[neighs]
I don't think so, Lucky.

This is too dangerous
for rambunctious puppies.

[Spot] Hey, slow down!

You have four legs, I only got two!

[Captain whinnies]

[Lucky] Whoa! Look out below!

Ah!

Uh-oh.

[squawk!]

Phew! That was close.

[squawk!]
Tell me nobody saw that.

Oh, you were right, Captain.

This is dangerous.

[panting]

[Cruella] Letitia, darling!

You are such a dear
to appraise my new painting.

I'm sure it's worth a fortune.

It is, after all, a portrait of me!

Yes, Cruella, dear.

And who amongst us
wouldn't want to see you

hanging in their parlor?

Just a quick stop
to pick up some designs from Anita

and we're off.

I let her do all my menial etchings.

[Cruella]
Poor dear, it makes her feel needed.

[grunts]

"Play tag with us, Spot.
It'll be fun, Spot."

Easy for you to say!

You're not wearing base-coated primer!

[tires screeching]

Here comes the second coat of shame.

I'll only be a second, Letitia, dear.

It... it...

it... it's a masterpiece!

Come, come, Letitia, we're off.

This is pure genius!

[Letitia]
Look at the feathery brush strokes.

Color plucked from a vibrant
neo-Impressionist palette.

Sheer poetry in motion!

Letitia, get a grip.

It's poultry in semigloss.

Au contraire!

This chicken is a pullet Picasso.

A work like this could be worth millions!

[cha-ching]

[laughing]

Of course, the chicken is a genius.

But it's not like you really painted it.

You were just trying to wipe paint off.

But... they both said I was a genius.

What if I am the pullet's Picasso

and just didn't know it?

Could it be true?

[all] No!
[laugh]

Fine. They laughed at Van Gogh, too.

I'd cut off my ear...

if I had one.

[Jasper] Come here, you!

[Horace] Tell me again why Cruella wanted
an uncooked bucket of chicken?

[dialing rotary phone]

Letitia, it's time to talk turkey.

[humming]

Uh-huh!

[Cruella]
Scorch! That chicken isn't your meal.

She's our meal ticket!

All right, rotisserie Renoir.

Let's see some magic, hmm?

Oh, that's wonderful, wonderful!

Chicken, I am going to make you
a household word.

Maybe there is something
to this genius thing.

Whoa! Hah! Yeah!

Oh, the colors, the lines!

The cash!

Help! Help! Spot's gone!

She's been chicknapped!

[all] Cruella!

Well, it's a good thing
I recognized this chicken's talent.

I have such a keen eye
for brush-stroking broasters.

The opening is set for Saturday night.

I've promised 100 originals.

I trust you can deliver

Yes, yes,
don't crack your make-up, Letitia.

My talented little drumstick Degas
will paint her feathers off if she has to.

[straining]

You guys could help me, you know.

I thought this was some sort
of Iron John macho thing.

All you had to do was ask.

Hyah! Yah! Ugh...

[Cadpig] Spot! Spot!

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

Come on, we're breaking you out.

Hey, what's the big idea?

Stop, stop, stop!

We're trying to help you, Spot!

Maybe I don't need help.

You know, I've got an art opening
on Saturday night.

But Cruella's just using you
to make money.

Ha! Cruella is helping me
to discover my true vision.

I am an artiste!

A rising star.

You mean you like living here
with Cruella?

Lucky, dear Lucky.

I know it must be hard for a mere puppy
to understand

the complex inner life of an artiste,

but for the first time in my life
I feel appreciated, I feel needed.

I feel nauseous.

Come on, guys,
let's leave Chick-o-langelo here

to finish the Sistine Coop.

[door creaks]

Only 95 more paintings to go. Keep it up!

We're on a tight schedule,

but I don't want to sacrifice quality.

[groaning]

[grunting]

[Cruella] Come on, pullet Pissarro,
no slacking off now.

Mustn't fall behind schedule!

Oh, come on, now,
we can't disappoint our public.

Let's paint, paint, paint!

[groaning]

[groaning]

[sighing]

Wakey-wakey, my wing-ed Warhol.
Wake up, chicken!

-[gasping]
-[alarm blares]

... forty-eight, forty-nine,
fifty, fifty-one!

Oh, only 51 completed paintings,
and the opening is tonight!

I need 49 paintings by 8:00, bird,

or one deep fat fryer, got it?

[squawks]

[whining]

Hmm.

[whimpering]

One hundred.

Oh, the creative process
can be so exhausting.

[snoring]

[snickering]

[Cruella clears throat]

-[snoring]
-[doorbell rings]

Ah, 8:00.

[gasp]

Wake up, chicken. Your public awaits.

Welcome, welcome!

Cash, checks, credit cards,
and first-born are accepted.

What colors!

The Rhode Island reds
and the cordon blues,

such free-range expression
of a chicken's psyche!

To me, this painting
is really just screaming,

screaming loudly,

"My empty feed dish mocks me."

I mean, you can just feel the bird's angst
as well as the ennui.

I still don't know why we're here.
You heard Spot.

She wants to be with Cruella.

But this is Spot's big night.

And she is our friend.

Although I think her use of shadow
is a touch sloppy.

Let's go find her!

And remember, everyone,
these paintings are all for sale

and they're going fast, fast, fast!

And here she is, the artiste herself.

[applause]

Attention, attention, everyone.

I've just come from Grutely,
where I've seen a sculpting beaver that...

well, he's the rodent Rodin!

[crowd gasping]

[Cruella] But what about the paintings?

What about the pullet Picasso?

What about... my money?

I'm afraid the chicken is stale, passé.

Face it, Cruella darling,

she's yesterday's white meat.

-Jasper, Horace, get me that beaver!
-[both] Yes, ma'am.

All right, Scorchy-poo.

That feathered has-been is all yours.

[Scorch snickers]

[screams]

I think our artiste
is gonna need some help.

Over there!

[Spot squawking]

[grunting, screams]

[grunting]

[straining]

Nice shot, Rolly.

No prob. You know, all my life,

cheese has always been there
when I needed it.

Let's get outta here.

So, how does it feel to be a mere chicken,

back with all the bourgeois and masses?

Okay, so I'm not an artiste.
I'm a chicken.

Sorry for the way I acted.

It just felt so good
to be appreciated for once, you know?

Hey, we appreciate ya!

Think you have talent, too.

You do?

Yep, and I know just how you can prove it.

Oh, yeah, I still got it!

[crows]

[upbeat music playing]

[clears throat]

Now, I want these bones buried good!

I wanna see dirt flyin'!

Dig, dig, dig!

[all grunting]

[sniffing]

Ahh, new tires.

[sniff]
Steel-belted.

[sniff] P205/60 SR 15s!

What a bouquet!

[Lucky] Wow, you can smell all that?

[Pug] Cadet Pudgy!

Oh, man!

You call that a hole, boy?

I couldn't bury a flea in that thing!

I guess I'm not much of a digger.

Sorry, sir.

I'll say you're sorry.

You're the sorriest cadet who ever
put his pants on two legs at a time!

Now, give me a double-time dog run
around the yard!

Move, move, move!

Cat got your ear, boy? I said move!

Yes, sir!

I can't hear you!

Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes...

Ow!

[laughs, screams]

You're a mite small
to make such a big mess, boy.

That tears it!

You are out of the Bark Brigade.

Finished! Down the drain without a paddle!

Aw, Lieutenant, he didn't mean to...

Fact is, if I'd been in charge,

I would have canned your tail long ago!

Ahem! Well, then,
good thing I'm still in command.

After all, we in the Bark Brigade
know that every member

has a special, unique talent.

Right, Lieutenant?

Eh, yes, sir!

[whispering]
If I may say so, sir...

Eh, right.

Lieutenant Pug,
I think you need to give Cadet Rolly

another chance to discover
his enduring talents.

[stammering]
But, Colonel--

-Now, Lieutenant.
-Sir, yes, sir! A chance, sir!

"Enduring talents," my Aunt Cupcake.

I'll show him enduring.

Okay, cadet,
I'll see you at 0700 in the woods

for your endurance test.

This shouldn't take long.

[snickering]

[sighs]

[Pug] This is where we separate
the Weimaraners from the wienie dogs.

Your first test is to, one, build,
or B, find a shelter.

On your mark,

get set...

Wait, I haven't said it yet.

Go!

[chuckles, snorts]

Loser!

He'll be out of the Bark Brigade
by, uh, 0900.

[panting]
Building, building, building...

Finding...

finding...

finding! Ooh!

Hey, hey, I'm working here!

Take a hike!

Stupid dogs, always messing with my nuts!

[sighs]

Failing, failing, failing...

Can't we do anything to help him?

[Spot] We could suggest more roughage.

I have a better idea.

Psst! Rolly.

Huh?

Your time is up, Cadet Lardo!

Or should I say ex-Cadet Lard... Oh!

You tellin' me you made this?

I, uh...

[feeble laugh]

Uh-huh.

So, cadet, you passed my cream-puff
warm-up test.

But playtime is over!

It's time to endure!

Thanks, guys, but let's face it,
I'm no good at this stuff.

Come on, Rolly, think positively.

Okay.

I'm positive I'm no good.

[Pug] Hurry it up, cadet!

[sighs]

[Pug] Your next test is, find food.

And I'm not talkin' nuts and berries here,

I mean real food,

something you can wrap your jaws around.

Go!

[sniffing]

[gasps]
Caramel!

Aww, it's only an empty wrapper.

Come on, Rolly, you got
the greatest sniffer in three states.

Yeah, but nothing around here
even slightly smells like food.

Except me.

I'm toast.

[cries]
Toast?

I smell toast!

French toast! With a choice of toppings.

Oh, papa!

Rolly, you just stay here
and seek your inner peace.

We'll be right back.

[whistling]

[screams]

[tires screeching]

The things I do for friendship.

[gasp]
Whoa, guys!

Wait! Where is the main course?

Huh?

All right, cadet, your time is... Up?

Funny, their main course looks familiar.

So, I, uh, guess I've been
too easy on you, cadet.

But you'll never endure this next test.

I guarantee it!

I am a deadly, mangy,
cadet-eating mountain lion.

[chuckles]

You are my prey.

Your only chance for survival
is to set a trap for me.

Ready?

Run!

Five, four, three, two, one, here I come!

[screams]

[straining]

Incoming!

Great, you already set the--

Whoa!

[all] Whoa!

Well, well, the catch of the day.

Look, Lieutenant, I can explain.

Put a shoe in it!

I should have known Humpty Rumpty there
couldn't pass a test without help.

Anyway, the good news is,
once we get home,

I will boot his sorry behind
right out of my beloved corps.

Okay, fall in!

[screams]

Isn't that what we're supposed to do?

[all] Whoa!

[thuds]

[all screaming]

Duck!

Duck? Duck?

What is it with you guys and poultry?

Oh...

You mean... duck.

[grunts]

[tires screeching]

Whew! We're safe.

Interesting word choice.

I would have gone with "about to die!"

-[metal creaking]
-[all] Whoa!

So, how do we get outta here?

[sniffing]

I smell fresh air. This way!

[sniffing]

I don't smell anything.

Company, halt!

I'm calling the shots here,
so, right face!

Hop to, hop to, hop to, hop to, hop to!

[creature snarling]

[loud rumbling]

Hey, where's Lieutenant Pug?

[Rolly sniffing]
I can still smell him.

He's gotta be really close.

[grunting]

Okay, this way.

Eh, or that way!

Oh, I'm getting thirsty.

[sniffing]

Hey, you know,
I think I can smell water. That way!

What a load of metal muffins.

But Rolly's nose is always right.

Is that so?

Well, I am still in command,
and I do not smell water.

Ergo, there is no water!

So quit squawkin' and keep walkin'!

[sighing]

I said march, you lily-livered lapdogs!

I wanna see guts, I wanna see grit,

I wanna see...

[snarling]

...Mommy?

We're gonna die!

Trapped, eaten by some blood-sucking,
bone-crunching...

[snoring]

You really should see somebody about that.

[creature snarling]

There's no way out!

[sniffing]

Wait! Maybe there is.

What are you doing?

-[Rolly] Like I told you, I smell water.
-[all screaming]

Lots of water!

What happened to the monster?

There it is!

[croak, ribbit]

Monster! Abandon ship!

Please keep your paws and legs
inside of this reality.

[Spot] Which way is out?

There's no way to tell.

[sniffs]
Wait. I smell food.

Yes. It's a French fry.

All right!

[Rolly] Quick, lean to the left!
Now right!

[sniff]
Left!

-Duck!
-[gasps]

French fry, here I come.

[all scream]

[sighs]

Hooray for Rolly's olfactory skills!

Rolly, you saved us all!

Isn't that right, sir?

Well, you're still the fattest cadet
I've ever seen...

Uh, I'm promoting your nose.

[Colonel]
I'm glad to hear that, Lieutenant.

Because you were being tested, too.

Oh, yes, your task
was to mold Rolly into a real cadet,

and apparently you passed
with flying colors.

All right, Rolly!

You saved the day!

See, Rolly,
we all have something to contribute.

[Cadpig] Even if it smells.

[theme music playing]