02x48 - Jurassic Bark/My Fair Moochie

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[barking]

[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
Chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
In revelrous adventures ♪

- ♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

[barks]

♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1, oh wonderful! ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

[Lucky] Ugh, that's the last time
Rolly's digging up my stash.

[spits]

And I don't buy his story
about zombie-bone snatchers.

Hmph! Well, he'll never look here
on Cruella's land,

and I'll bury this bone so de--

[screams]

Ouch.

[echoes] That's pretty deep.

Hmm, I may have over dug.

This place is way cool,

freezing actually.

[shivers]

[sniffing]

Whoa-- whoa doggie!

Whoa!

Holy chimichanga!

That's one fierce looking pup-sicle.

So while my public stands naked

waiting for my next fashion inspiration,

here I am with a catastrophic case
of designer's block.

P.H., you must help me.

Perhaps you can
invent a new fabric or...

[clears throat]

What could possibly
be more interesting than me?

A spider.

I'm genetically cross-breeding them
with insurance salesmen,

so I can crush them like bugs.

Well, I desperately need something
to remind the fashion world

that I haven't dropped off
the face of the Earth!

[screams]

Fascinating.

A prehistoric era ice cavern.

I don't care if it's a bat cave.

Let's get out of here!

[screams]

[both shouting]

[crashes]

Get off of me, you Bunsen boob!

[gasps] This is incredible.

What is that hideous thing?

That hideous thing

appears to be a perfectly preserved
prehistoric cave pup,

possibly over 10,000 years old.

[Cruella] Marvelous!

This is exactly
what I've been looking for.

I'll call it "Caninus Cruellus."

The publicity will launch
a whole new clothing line:

"Prehistoric Apparel by Cruella."

Come! I have designers to browbeat.

And I'll get my instruments
so I can start dissecting.

Yuck! I got to get out of here
before that doggy dicer gets back.

[pants]

W-w-w-whoa!

Ooh!

[growls]

[growling]

Ah, it's alive!
And seriously ticked off.

-[cave pup growls]
-[clucks]

Uh, did you hear that?

No, I just thought it would be fun
to fly into a tree at Mach 5!

[scoffs] This is no time for witty
speed-related sarcasm.

I thought I heard Lucky down there.

Lucky? Lucky!

[growling]

-[grunts]
-[grunts]

[clucks]

Who's your new friend?

Uh-h, it's a cave pup,

fresh frozen about 10,000 years ago.

[growling]

Ooh, yum.

Uh, 10,000 years
without food, I take it?

[cave pup] Cluck! [slobbers]

[squawks] Somebody want to get him
a sandwich now?

Dinner, friend.

Yum, yuck!

Thanks a lot.

Dinner?

[chomps, gulps] Yum.

Friend, yuck.

[squawks]

Me, Lucky.

You, Cave Pup.

Hmm, CP for short.

Hmm, me CP.

Way to g-- [screams]

[squawking]

Fun guy, isn't he?

That's it!

I say we leave Jurassic pup
right where we found him.

Uh, we can't. P.H. De Vil is
coming back to dissect him.

Come on, CP.

He doesn't understand.

We must somehow reach back
through the eons

and connect with the primal pup.

Chow time.

Uh, chow time.

Yeah... [sighs]

the language of food
knows no boundaries.

The only chance this
poor misplaced cave canine

has for survival is to blend in.

[mechanized growls]

-[growling]
-[screams]

-No, CP!
-Stop.

[excited chatter]

Oh, yeah, he blends right in.

[Lucky] Use plenty of soap and water.

He's got thousands of years
of crud on him.

[squawks] Hey! Watch it!

[burps]

[Spot gargles, coughs]

[Spot screams]

Well, that was time well-spent.

[Cruella] Where is
that fossilized fur-ball?

Oh, I told the press
we'd be unveiling

the prehistoric pooch
in one hour at the museum.

Interesting-- paw prints,
one set with two toes--

My word!

It's alive!

-What?
-Curious.

There's also three sets
of normal puppy prints,

and a chicken?

The Dearly mutts.

-Now to bag the beast.
-[dialing]

Fortunately, I know just
the Neanderthals to do the job.

[phone rings]

[ringing]

[ringing]

[crunching]
Okay, now, see,

this is the proper way to eat kibble.

[gulps]

[munching]

[screaming]

-Mine.
-Hey, cut that out.

And stop wrecking our home,
you prehistoric pinhead.

Uh? Not friends?

Horace and Jasper!
Cruella must have sent 'em!

We got to get CP out of here!

Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

Not friends. [sniffles]

Finding this cave pooch
could take hours.

Yeah, it could-- Hmm.

Must be daylight savings time.

Now all we got to do
is deliver him to Cruella's museum.

-[engine whirs]
-[honking]

Nice going, Mr. Congeniality.

I know I blew it big time,

but we'll rescue him
at the museum.

And so the world waits breathlessly
for the unveiling of the first cave dog.

Yes, yes, yes, we'll get to that,

but the real new sensation
is my new Prehistoric Apparel

by Cruella.

[whispers] We got to hurry.

[Cruella] And wearing my latest

fashion triumph is my gullible cousin P.H.

Aww, come on, CP.

-Nuh-uh, not friends.
-Yes friends.

Look, I was the prehistoric pinhead.

I'm really sorry, okay?

-Friends?
-Just kiss and make up fast!

And now the house of De Vil

proudly presents Caninus Cruellus!

Let's blow this bone stand.

Ah, my publicity stunt is escaping.

-After him!
-[puppies screaming]

Come back here!

-[screaming]
-Come on back, you bozo!

Huh?

[Jasper] Come back here!
Come on back here!

Whoa!

Got ya!

Great, tarred and--
already feathered.

I'll get you and your little chicken too!

[screams]

-[crashing]
-Strike!

[strains]

Ah, thanks, buddy.

Oh, how I hate these puppies,
past, present, and future!

Somehow we got to get CP
as far away from Cruella as possible.

Hey, getting the tar off was brutal.

Anyway, the barking chain
has found some of CP's cousins,

a million times removed.

They're happy to take him in.

[sighs] I'll sure miss you, CP.

So true.

Our friendship
spans the millennia--

paws reaching across
the sands of time forming a primal bond.

Whatever.

Lucky teach CP friendship.

Uh, it works both ways.

-Friend?
-Friend!

[screams]

I'll be back.

In another 10,000 years
would be good.

[sighs]

[rooster caws]

[growling, barks]

[squawking]

[pants] Good work, Mooch.

Thanks.

[Vendella] They call that
a defending champ?

Perhaps they meant chimp.

-[chuckles]
-[snickers]

[growls]

Don't let 'em get to you, Mooch.

Save it for the wrestling match.

Yeah, they're just jealous

because you're gonna cream
their chump-changed challenger

-El Dweebo.
-That's El Diablo.

Oh, yes, here we go again.

That barbaric annual wrestling match
that brings even sworn enemies

like Lucky and Mooch together.

I'd like to propose
an alternative: a spelling bee!

Just think of it.
An intellectual challenge

instead of a half-witted physical one.

But that's the kind I'm good at.

Were good at.

A week from today,
El Diablo will turn you into pretzel pup.

-Sweet dreams.
-Oh-- Oh yeah?

Ooh, nice comeback, Mooch,

concise, pithy, yet moronic.

[sighs] It's all so terribly sad,

still settling our differences
through brute force.

[Cadpig] Our honor comes
from being intelligent canines...

and rising above violence.

He he he he he!

You're dead meat!

[grunts]

Nobody lays a paw
on my brother, understand?

-Nobody!
-I-- I--

Oh, you may think
you're a big wrestling champ,

but you're nothing
but a boorish, rude, gutless bully!

[Mooch groans] What a woman!

Hey, has anybody seen Mooch?

He's got to train for the match.

Lose something,
like, say, a wrestler?

Or maybe he's too chicken.

That does it!
Now she's badmouthing my people!

I'll fight El Ding-dongo myself!

[grunting] Let me at her!

That's El Diablo.

Don't worry. Mooch'll be there.

We know exactly where he is.

And when we find him,
we'll let you know.

[laughs] Yeah, well, wherever he is,
I hope he's practicing.

El Diablo trains 16 hours a day,
then wrestles alligators in his sleep.

[screams]

You're busted, mister!

I'm giving you 30 seconds to explain
why you've been following me or--

-[mud squishes]
-For you.

[gasps] A smelly, old boot?

For me?

You're in love with Mooch?

But you said he was boorish.

-He's rugged.
-You said he was crude.

-He's direct.
-You said he was thoughtless.

He's utterly without facade,
just a diamond in the rough.

Ohh.

[burps]

[Cadpig] He loves me, he loves me not.

Oh, it's enough
to make you lose your appetite.

Well, not you.

He loves you,
and he'd do anything for you.

[sighs]

No need, things are perfect
just the way they are.

Of course you're perfect

just the way you are,
Moochie Woochie.

-[gargles]
-Rinsing!

I see you with more of a wet look.

[Cadpig] Very masculine!

So earthy, yet uncontrived.

Now, the bean bag's got to go!

These milk crates
need to be re-colorized,

and I'm sure we can find
some kitschy storage containers

for your kibble.

Um, this isn't exactly what I--

[whimpers] Don't you like it?

Of course I do.
You know I'd do anything for you.

Well, Moochie Woochie,
if you really cared about me

you'd rise above your brutish urges
to fight El Diablo.

-You'd embrace...
-Embrace a more rational,

more loving view
of interpersonal contact.

Do you know what
you are doing right now?

You are growing.

Uh.

What do you mean
you won't wrestle?

Moochie no longer accepts
brute physical force

as a means of conflict resolution.

Right, Poochums?

Right, Cadpoopsie whoopsie.

Come on, let's go read some poetry.

Oh, man. She did it.

She turned him into a total wimp.

We're sunk.

Mooch is the defending champ.

Only he can go up against El Diablo.

The fair honor of Dearly Farm
will be besmirched.

Yeah, and Vendella and Scorch
will think we're dweebs.

We got to get through to Mooch.

Forget it. You can't fight
a romance like that.

Then if we can't fight it,
let's make it work for us.

We're gonna train him
for that match,

whether he knows it or not. [chuckles]

[kisses]

[sighs]

This is just so sensitive of you, Rolly,

to make a romantic dinner for us.

More pasta, Mooch?
Go on, load up.

Nothing like
complex carbohydrates before a big--

-Big what?
-Uh, er, nothing--

with dessert!

[screams]

[Rolly groans] Don't worry.

A little Parmesan
and I'll be just fine.

[gypsy accent] Ooh, I see true love
and sweet romance!

And as we know,

the basis of any committed relationship
is mutual support

as we undertake life's challenges.

What challenges?

Oh, uh, you know, fear, loss,

-wrestling matches!
-[growling]

[bangs]

Step right up and win a prize
for your sweetheart.

[grunts]

-[clanks]
-This is heavy.

That's okay, just keep lifting.

Ten repetitions or so

will really build
your upper-body strength.

[growling]

So who's gonna tell El Diablo
Mooch doesn't want to wrestle?

-I'll tell him.
-No, really, that's okay.

We don't want El Diablo
to see you like this now, do we?

-El Diablo is here?
-[all gasp]

[Lucky] Okay, so where is he?

[Spanish accent] I am down here.

That's El Diablo?

So you are, how they say,
Moochie Coochie, no?

Get ready to rumba, chico !

I will not wrestle you, El Diablo.

I've come to realize that honor
and respect come from within,

not from hostile competition
with others.

Dearly Farm forfeits.

Forfeit shmorfeit,

I don't need no sticking rule book.

Who is dog enough to wrestle me?

I will wrestle El Ding Bat.

-That is Diablo!
-[rings]

[Spot] The Luck-meister
is in fine form today.

He's gone straight
for the toe twist.

Diablo's not having any of it.

Lucky goes into
the "spinning fur ball," but to no avail.

Diablo's giving him the slip.

What? He's attempting
the infamous hair-raising move,

but hold on. Diablo makes his move.

[gasps]

[growls]

Looks like El Diablo
has found a new opponent.

-[snaps]
-[Rolly screams]

And defeated him.

Who will be next?

-[snapping]
-[animals bray]

-[snaps]
-[clatters]

Someone's got to reason
with him, Cadsie-pie.

Listen, Mr. Diablo.

May I call you "El"?

You're just acting out,

perhaps overcompensating
for your diminutive size.

[sighs]

-How insightful.
-[snaps]

[Mooch screams]

Ooh! That does it!

You are mine, El Diaper Rash!

[battle cry]

Whoa!

[screams, grunts]

[bell rings]

Holy guacamole, what a woman.

[cheering]

Though I wish you'd found

a less violent means
of conflict resolution,

you did save Dearly Farm.

Shall we celebrate
with some herbal tea?

Let's have a little
heart-to-heart, shall we?

[laughs]

Sorry, Mooch, but it's over.

My work with you is done.
You're healed,

and frankly
you're no longer a challenge.

-Bye-bye.
-[cries]

[Cadpig] You know, Elly,
that Napoleon complex is kinda cute,

but there's always room to grow.

Have you ever considered...

[clears throat] elevator shoes?

[theme song plays]