02x20 - Homing Pigeons

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

No, Dinah. It's not in here, either.

Mom's gonna blow this whole thing out
of proportion and say I lose everything.

Just because I lost
one silly little watch.

After losing my calculator.

And my math book.

And my green sweater.

Okay, so I misplace things.

But it's not because I don't try.

See, I always place things
in spots that I'll remember.

Then I realize I've misplaced them because
I never remember where those spots were.

[sighs] I guess I do seem to lose
just about everything.

But at least I never lose my way.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

[yawns]

-Thank you. Ah.
-[snoring]

Um, excuse me?

Uh, I said, pardon me?

Excuse me!

[ringing]

Good morning, Rabbit.

Oh, the morning paper. Thank you.

-No. No.
-Well, thank you. Thank--

Give it. Give it up.

Hatter, this is the queen's morning paper.

And I bring it to her every--

I bring it to her every morning
personally. Personally.

I bring it to her every morning
personally. Royal delivery.

[pop music playing]

♪ Because she is the queen ♪

♪ Her wish is my command ♪

♪ If she says sit, I'll sit ♪

♪ If she says stand, I'll stand ♪

♪ Whatever I can do for her
I do it with chivalry ♪

♪ And that's why I bring her paper
Royal delivery ♪

♪ Because she is the queen ♪

♪ Because she is of royalty ♪

♪ Her happiness I crave ♪

♪ She has my total loyalty ♪

♪ Whatever I can do for her
I do it with chivalry ♪

♪ And that's why I bring her paper
Royal delivery ♪

♪ To see Her Highness smile ♪

♪ I'd walk a crooked mile ♪

♪ To bring her happiness ♪

♪ I'd clean up any mess ♪

♪ Whatever I can do for her
I do it with chivalry ♪

♪ And I'll always bring her paper ♪

♪ Royal delivery ♪

-Oh!
-[humming] Ah, there we go.

Hatter. Hatter, I-- Oh!

Oh, dear. Oh, dear me.

Hatter!

Hatter, stop!

The queen hates to have her paper
taken apart before she's seen it.

Oh, don't worry, Rabbit.
I just wanna look at the funnies.

Obviously, the queen doesn't read those
or else she'd laugh more.

[Red Queen] I heard that.

So, locked yourself out
of your house again, Hatter?

Yes, Your Majesty.

I sure am lucky this bench
is always here, though, aren't I?

Yes, aren't you?

From now on, make sure
this bench is brought in at night.

Don't you have an extra house key?

-Huh?
-Don't you have an extra house key?!

Yes, I do, Your Majesty!
I gave it to the Hare for safekeeping!

Why didn't you call him and get it?

Well, it was so late and you know
how much I hate to inconvenience people.

-Oh!
-By the way, when is breakfast?

Don't worry, you won't be here.

Get Hare on the phone

and tell him that you locked yourself
out of your house again.

[stammers] Well...

[keypad beeping, then line dialing]

[ringing]

Hello?

Good morning, Hare! Did I wake you?

No, I had to get up
to answer the phone anyway.

Oh, that's good.

I lost my house key again
and I need my spare.

You need a tire to get into your house?

No, not a spare tire, the spare key.

The extra one I gave you for emergencies.

-Of course. I'll be right there.
-Thank you.

Well, that's that.

Just a little breakfast
and I'll be on my way.

Let's see. I'll start with oatmeal,
then cinnamon toast--

-What?!
-What, you're out of cinnamon toast?

Hatter!

Hi, Mr. Hatter.

[sighs] Hello, Alice.

Alice.

Look at me and be honest.

Do I look like I locked myself
out of the house,

spent an uncomfortable night
sleeping on a hard bench

and then waited over an hour
for the Hare to show up with my spare key?

Well... no.

-Oh, you're just being polite.
-[phone rings]

Oh, great! There's my phone.

Where is the Hare with my spare key?

Here I am.

I just had to run a few errands.
You weren't in a hurry, were you?

I was in a hurry, now my phone is ringing.

Eesh! Somebody got up
on the wrong side of the bench.

Hare! Let's get going, Hare. Come on now.

Could you hold this dry cleaning for me?

-We need the key.
-All right.

-Open it. Come on now.
-Let's see now.

Where did I put that key?

Oh! Hare, we need to get inside, now.

I'm a very important person and I need--
Right. No, that's not-- Hare.

-This isn't it.
-No.

-No, that's-- Hare, they're gonna hang up!
-No.

-Hare.
-Ha!

Here it is. Right here.

Hello!

They hung up.

Well, can you blame them?
You took forever to answer.

At least you got the door unlocked.

I'll tell you,
this isn't going to happen again.

I'll put this key on a key ring right now.

You don't happen to have a key ring?

No, why in the world
would I carry something silly like that?

How true that is.

Well, no matter.

I'll just use this.

-Oh.
-Wow!

Once you place your key on that ring,
you won't misplace it.

Well, that's for sure.

But just to be sure...

-Hare, I feel an invention coming on.
-[gasps]

-To the attic!
-To the attic!

Alice, I give you Hatter's
hunky-dory house key homing device.

Oh, that's great.

What's a homing device?

It's a handy-dandy gizmo

that helps you find your things
if you lose them.

In this case, your keys.

See, first you attach
this sparkling doodad to your house key.

Ooh! It looks almost like a diamond.

Almost. It was my idea.

-I'm sort of a key fashion consultant.
-Yes.

Inside this sparkling doodad
is a teeny-tiny transmitter

that gives off an electronic signal

which causes the homing device to beep
whenever you get close to the key.

It is foolproof.

[pop music playing]

♪ It's flawlessly designed ♪

♪ Nothing can go wrong ♪

♪ It's absolutely foolproof ♪

♪ And it didn't take us long ♪

♪ There's no way to lose it ♪

♪ You simply can't abuse it ♪

♪ And nine out of ten fools ♪

♪ Will be able to use it ♪

♪ It's genius ♪

♪ It's perfect ♪

♪ We're going to be rich ♪

♪ Statistics show us our device ♪

♪ Will work without a hitch ♪

♪ It's all worked out on paper ♪

♪ And our statistics show ♪

♪ It's goof-proof ♪

-♪ Spill-proof ♪
-♪ Spill-proof? ♪

♪ Well, you never know ♪

♪ There's no way to lose it ♪

♪ You simply can't abuse it ♪

♪ And nine out of ten fools ♪

♪ Will be able to use it ♪

♪ It's genius ♪

♪ It's perfect ♪

♪ We're going to be rich ♪

♪ Statistics show us our device ♪

♪ Will work without a hitch ♪

♪ It's foolproof ♪

Gee, I'd love a demonstration.

-Then get lost.
-What?

Hatter means take the keys
and go hide somewhere.

Then we'll take Hatter's
hunky-dory house key homing device,

and track you down.

-Okay, but give me a head start.
-Go.

[whistling]

-Now!
-Yes.

-Wait.
-Yes. Whoa!

[device beeping]

-[both clamoring]
-[device beeping]

-Listen. Hare. Hare!
-Ah!

Hare, I feel
that we're getting very close.

We've been friends for years.
It's to be expected.

-Oh, yes.
-[device trills]

Oh, yes.

Congratulations, Mr. Hatter.

It works. And just think,
since people are always losing keys,

everyone will want
one of your homing devices.

[gasps] Alice is right.
I'll bet there's a lot of money to be had

selling Hatter's
hunky-dory house key homing device.

-Hare. Hey.
-Alice, hey. Hey.

Hey.

What's with the gizmo?

It's Hatter's latest invention.

A house key homing device.

A simple, effective and safe way
to find your house key.

And remember,
Hatter will not be undersold.

Now, how many can I put you two down for?

Wait a minute.
How do we know this thing works?

Wait.

Tell you what. Be at the queen's courtyard

in half an hour for your own demonstration

of Hatter's hunky-dory
house key homing device.

And, uh, BYOK.

BYOK?

Bring your own keys.

[laughing]

-See you there.
-Bye.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

You are about to witness a demonstration

that will leave you speechless,

it will leave you breathless,

-it will leave you, well, keyless.
-Oh!

Keys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, thank you, Alice.

Oh, just a minute, Hare.
What are you gonna do with our keys?

Trust us, Your Majesty.
We'll be very careful with them.

Well, all right.

-Okay, Hare. Lose them.
-Yeah.

Hold on. You just said
those keys were gonna be safe,

and now you're gonna lose them?

Of course. We have to lose them
if we want to find them.

[groans] You've lost me.

Remember, Hatter's
hunky-dory house key homing device

comes with an ironclad guarantee.

We promise
you'll find your missing key or...

-Your money back?
-No. You'll be locked out.

Wait a minute.

Hare shouldn't be the one
to hide the keys.

How do we know he didn't
already tell Hatter the hiding place?

Dee's right.
Why don't we let Alice hide the keys?

That way we'll know
if this gizmo really works.

-Yeah.
-Okay.

Alice, you hide the keys,
then wait for us at the hiding place.

And if I know
my trusty house key homing device...

you won't be waiting long.

Of course if I don't,
take a few magazines along with you.

-Hare.
-Oh! Yeah.

-Here you go.
-Thanks.

-Okay.
-Look at that. Oh, yeah.

I'll bet Mr. Hatter would never to think

to look in his own front yard
for the key ring.

Plus, if I hide the keys here,
I can have tea

while I wait for everyone to find me.

Mmm!

Hm. I don't see any lemons.

You'll find some lemons
in Hatter's kitchen.

Oh, hi, Dormouse.
You think Hatter would mind

if I went into his house
when he's not here?

Oh, no. Hatter loves having visitors
even when he's not home.

Now, let's see.

The Hatter's key
had that diamond thing on it.

Oh, here it is.

Wait, I know.
I'll hide the keys in the trash can.

That way, even if they find me,
they'll still have to find the keys.

Hm... Ah!

What's sparkling down there?

Ooh!

Why, it's a necklace.

With a diamond.

I can't imagine why the Hatter would
throw away such an expensive necklace.

But you know what they say,

one man's trash...

is another cat's treasure.

[cackles]

-Here we go.
-Yes, yes.

-Whoa! Whoa!
-[chattering]

Where did it go?

Okay, here we go.

Here we go. Okay.

Here we go. Keep moving.
Here we go. What--?

Hatter!

Your Majesty?

We've been running all over Wonderland

and that gizmo of yours hasn't let out
with so much as a wispy peep.

It will, Your Majesty.

Just as soon
as we get close to the key ring.

Oh, harrumph!

If you don't mind, Hatter,

Dee and I will believe
this homing device works when we see it.

Well...

[funk music playing]

♪ We'll believe it when we see it ♪

♪ It's not like we didn't try ♪

♪ When that device of yours
Can find our keys ♪

♪ Then we'll know that cows can fly ♪

♪ We've been searching
Through the kingdom ♪

Looking around all afternoon ♪

♪ It will be easier to hope to find ♪

♪ Porcupines selling big balloons ♪

♪ I'll believe it when I see it ♪

♪ When they're standing
Right in front of me ♪

♪ Is there some reason why
They aren't at our fingertips? ♪

♪ Because that would be
A whole lot easier ♪

♪ Than trying to find
Some chickens with lips ♪

♪ I think we're running around
In circles ♪

♪ Barking up all the wrong trees ♪

♪ I got my doubts about that gizmo ♪

♪ Helping us to find our keys ♪

♪ I'll believe it when I see it ♪

♪ When they're staring right back at me ♪

♪ Just some indication ♪

♪ That your gizmo knows what to do ♪

♪ Then we can have a celebration ♪

♪ Because our searching will be through ♪

Mm! Looks like a nice quiet little spot
to take a nap.

[device beeping]

-Hey, that thing's actually beeping.
-Finally!

-[chattering]
-What is that awful noise?

I'll have to find another place
to curl up.

[beeping stops]

[chattering]

It stopped beeping.

Why did it stop
if the keys are around here?

Uh, maybe the keys aren't around here?

Perhaps it's time we finally admitted
that this thing isn't working properly.

I'm not ready yet to throw in the towel.

Well, when you are,
I brought the His and Hare towels.

[snoring]

-[device beeping]
-[chattering]

[beeping stops]

Do you have any eights?

Go fish.

-Did someone say "fish"?
-Oh!

Hello, Cat.

Hello.

Nice necklace.

Thanks. But it's a little itchy.

Why? Did you buy it at the flea market?

[laughing, then snorts]

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Now, to what do I owe
the pleasure of this visit?

Well, I've been trying all afternoon
to take a nap,

but no matter where I curl up,

I keep getting awakened
by this loud beeping.

Hm. Well, you're welcome to make yourself
comfortable on one of my mushrooms.

The only thing that beeps around here
is my swamp gas detector.

I'll even read you a bedtime story
to help you fall asleep.

Oh, thank you, Caterpillar.

-Once there was a dinosaur named Tiny.
-Hi.

Although Tiny was very young,
he wasn't very small.

Even so,
Tiny was often told he was too little.

When Tiny wanted a shiny red bicycle,
his father said he was too little.

When Tiny wanted to stay up late,
his mother said he was too little.

"I don't want to be little," said Tiny,
and he started to work on getting bigger.

Tiny ate healthy foods...

got plenty of sleep...

and he exercised every day.

Then one day,
Tiny knew he was not too little anymore.

Tiny's father agreed. "You're right.
You're not too little anymore."

He bought Tiny the shiny red bicycle.

But even though Tiny wasn't small anymore,

his mother said
he was still too little to stay up late.

And Tiny knew she was right
because he was still growing.

And as we all know,

a growing Tyrannosaurus Rex
needs his sleep.

[snoring]

Ah, it worked.

He's fast asleep.

Wait a minute.

I'm not so sure I like the idea
my stories put folks to sleep.

[device beeping]

Oh, no! Not again!

Must be someplace left in Wonderland
where a cat can get his beauty sleep.

-[chattering]
-I know it's here. I know it's here.

-[beeping stops]
-We got-- Oh, no.

-Oh, no.
-[groaning]

All right, Hatter. That's the last straw.

Actually, Your Majesty, this is.

Her Highness means
she's reached the end of her patience.

I'll say I have.

Hatter, you've had me running all over
Wonderland looking for my house key.

-And mine.
-And mine.

-And mine.
-Sheesh! Hasn't anyone ever heard

of putting a duplicate
under the flowerpot?

Oh! Come on. Let's find Alice.
Once we find her, we'll find the keys.

-Right.
-Right.

[chattering]

-Wait.
-Hurry up.

You know, I have the oddest feeling

I've seen their keys
somewhere around here.

Are we having an earthquake?

Oh! Sorry, Dormouse.

No, I was just drumming my fingers,
wondering why the Hatter's homing device

hasn't led everyone to the keys by now.

There's Alice.

[chattering]

Oh, thank goodness.

Mr. Hatter, what took you so long?

What took us so long
was that we had to find you on our own

since somebody's homing device
didn't work.

She means mine.

Well, I hid the keys over here.
In the trash can.

[chattering excitedly]

Oh, my gosh.

They're not here.

[gasping]

Oh, Alice.

If this is your idea of some kind of joke,

I don't think it's very funny.

Maybe not, but it sure gave the queen

a great opportunity
to use some tired old movie dialogue.

Yes.

Your Majesty, it's no joke.

[scoffs] Now I don't know
where the keys are either.

[gasping]

Well, if the keys aren't here,
we'd better start looking for them.

Right. I want all of you to spread out
and search Wonderland.

[chattering]

[device beeping]

This heavy necklace is rubbing so much,
I'm itching like crazy.

I'm gonna put it back where I found it.

Hatter,
why is that silly thing still beeping?

I told you to--
What's the cat doing over there?

Look! He's got the key ring.

What?

[clamoring]

Why are you wearing my key ring?

Key ring? I thought it was a necklace
you threw out. It was in your trash can.

See? I told you I hid it there.

You can have your old itchy key ring back.

Phew! I haven't scratched so much
since the flea circus came to town.

[cackles]

At least we all got our keys back.

Hatter, pass the keys, please.

[pop music playing]

♪ What a day here in Wonderland ♪

♪ Complicated to say the least ♪

♪ Many things got out of hand ♪

♪ Disappearances and crazy beeps ♪

♪ Pass the keys please ♪

♪ Pass the keys please ♪

♪ And give me just a little peace ♪

♪ But it all worked out okay this time ♪

♪ So I'm not gonna punish anyone ♪

♪ All the keys are back now
Yours and mine ♪

♪ There's really no damage done ♪

♪ Pass the keys please ♪

♪ Pass the keys please ♪

♪ And give me just a little peace ♪

♪ I know what keys are for ♪

♪ I'm gonna open up my door ♪

♪ I'll give you all some free advice ♪

♪ Home is the best homing device ♪

♪ Pass the keys please ♪

♪ Pass the keys please ♪

♪ Pass the keys please ♪

♪ If you know what's good for you ♪

♪ Pass me the keys ♪

-[Dee] Here it is.
-Thank you.

So, Your Majesty, now that you know

Hatter's hunky-dory house key
homing device really does work,

I'm sure you'll want to order a few
from a member of our trained sales staff.

-How many can I put you down for?
-None.

But how will you keep
from losing your keys?

Simple. I just won't give them
to the two of you again.

[stammering]

-Not again.
-[stammers] Well...

With a few adjustments,
we could turn this into a waffle iron.

[gasping]

You know, Dinah, I've been thinking.

If I haven't found my watch by now,
maybe I should throw in the towel

and tell mom it's lost.

[sighs]

Yes, Dinah! I found my watch!

It was in my pocket the whole time.

See? I didn't lose it.
I just misplaced it temporarily.

And I'll never do that again.

Hey, where's my watch?

It was just here, and--

Oh, no. Not again.

[sighs]

Now you have to help me find it.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪