03x01 - From Hare to Eternity

[bunniefuu]

[Kathy] From now on, stay out of my room!

Fine! You're no fun to be around anyway.

Dinah. My sister gets mad
about the littlest things.

I just wanted to see
what she was writing in her letter.

To her boyfriend. "I want my privacy."

Who cares if Kathy
won't let me in her room anymore?

There are other places I can go.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here on the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

[Red Queen] Heads up!

[indistinct chatter]

Step aside. Wonderland's best
croquet player coming through.

It's not whether you win or lose.
It's how you play the game.

Doesn't matter how we play the game.
She always wins.

Wait, Your Majesty. That's my ball.

No, I'm sure it's mine.

After all, see how close
it is to the wicket?

Actually, Your Majesty.

Your ball is way over there
in the bushes, remember?

And this ball is blue.

Whereas yours of course is red. See?

Oh.

[chuckles]

Silly me, go ahead, Hare.

Yeah. Thank you. All right.
All right, all right, all right.

Stretch out.

Okay.

All right, all right.

[grunting]

Will you please hurry up?

[ball zinging]

You've been practicing, haven't you?

That was quite a shot.
Too bad we're not playing pinball.

Drat, I'd better go find it.

Well, let's the rest of us play through
and let the Queen and the Hare catch up.

After all, the Hare has to find his ball.

It'll take at least three or four hits
for the Queen

to get her ball out of the bushes
after that lousy shot.

Lousy? What do you mean? Why you, you...

All right.

You all go on without me. You too, Rabbit.

Oh. Yes.

[indistinct chatter]

Aha. There it is!

[shouting]

Boy, tough course.

They don't just have sand traps.
They have quicksand traps.

Help?

Well, well, well.

What do you know?

My ball wasn't stuck
in the bushes after all!

[Hare] Help! Help! Someone save me!

Hare? Is that you?

What's wrong? Are you all right?

I'm fine at the moment.
If you don't help me soon,

-I'll have quicksand all over my new suit.
-Quicksand? Here, grab this.

Try not to get it dirty.
It's my favorite mallet.

-Right, right.
-Come on, Hare. Pull!

[both grunting]

Thanks, Your Majesty. I was almost sunk!

How true that is!

Your Majesty, you're a hero!

Oh, don't be silly.

Any incredibly brave person
would've done the same thing.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ I wouldn't want to overstate ♪

♪ Nor slightly underestimate ♪

♪ The story we should not inflate ♪

♪ Beyond my pure heroic fate ♪

♪ But it was really nothing ♪

♪ It was really nothing, really ♪

♪ Though I know you're thinking
That I'm awesome ♪

♪ Please, don't be silly ♪

♪ It was really, really nothing
Nothing really ♪

♪ We'll have no fancy banquet
In my honor ♪

♪ Though Hare was practically a goner ♪

♪ If it weren't for me
He'd still be sinking ♪

♪ And probably even quicksand drinking ♪

♪ But it was really nothing ♪

♪ It was really nothing, really ♪

♪ Though I know you're thinking
That I'm awesome ♪

♪ Please don't be silly ♪

♪ It was really, really nothing
Nothing really ♪

I don't know how I'll ever thank you.

Oh, no thanks necessary.

Of course, if you think of something,
you can find me in the palace.

[phone ringing]

The phone.

Hatter residence. June?

June Hare.

Sure, he's right here. It's your mom.

Hello? Mom?

Sonny, is it really you?

-Is this a trick question?
-That's my boy.

Listen, I just had a feeling
something was wrong.

Did you get stuck in quicksand

while playing croquet,
then rescued by the Queen

just in the nick of time, although
not before ruining your good shoes?

Mom, I could never get anything past you.

Well, don't worry, I'm fine now.

The question is, how is the Queen?

-What do you mean?
-In our family,

when someone does a good deed for you,
you must stay by their side

until you do the same for them in return.

It's an old hare rule.

But I'm not an old hare.

Young or old, our Hare family motto says,

do a good deed for a hare,

till it's repaid, he'll be there.

Your life, he'll make sure you're enjoying

even if he gets annoying.

I understand.

The Queen just got herself a bodyguard.

I'll make you proud, Mom.

What did your mom say?

She told me a Hare family rule.

Since the Queen saved my life,
I must stick to her

like glue until I can save hers.

Are you sure that's a good idea?

She hates to be bothered.

Mr. Hatter's right. Other than the Rabbit,

the Queen doesn't like to have anyone
running around her palace.

She doesn't even like a mouse
around the house.

Don't worry, the Queen won't even know
I'm near her.

Oh.

[Rabbit humming]

Would Your Royal Highness,
or should I say,

Your Royal Hero-ness care
for a glass of lemonade?

Why thank you, Rabbit.

[Hare] Don't touch that glass!

Just a moment.

Allow me to do a safety check first.
[sniffing]

Ah.

Good news, Your Majesty.
I believe this lemonade is perfectly safe.

You mean was perfectly safe.

You drank every drop!

No need to thank me. It was my pleasure.

[shouting]

Rabbit! Oh!

His pleasure. I'll say it was.

[chuckling]

Here you are.

Fresh cherry tarts,
piping hot from the oven.

Hot tarts? Not while I'm around!

[shouting]

There you are, Your Majesty.

These tarts are now cool enough
to be eaten safely.

Wait to see my 27
new pairs of shoes, Alice.

They're like nothing I've ever worn.

Voila! [gasps]

-Gee, they're different all right.
-My beautiful shoes!

Somebody has taken
all of my beautiful shoes

and replaced them
with big, old, ugly boots!

Glad to be of service, Your Majesty.

You did this? Why?

Your Majesty, walking in high heels
can be very dangerous.

Therefore, I've replaced
your risky pumps with these

safe, sensible work boots.

This is the last straw, Hare!

Nobody messes with the royal footwear!

But since you saved my life,

I must do everything I can to save yours.

My hare family honor
demands that I protect you.

To repay your good deed.

-He does mean well, Your Majesty.
-Too bad! I don't need protection!

I hereby decree,
that you are to stay away from me,

stop protecting me,
and return all of my new shoes!

Oh! Harrumph, harrumph!

Oh!

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hello, son. Need to talk?

I sure do, Mom. I got a problem.

The Queen ordered me
to stop protecting her.

I can't save her life
if she won't let me near her.

I can't believe you're giving up
so easily.

Is this the same Hare
who got all A's in school?

Is this the same Hare who mowed lawns
to earn money for college?

Is this the same Hare
who practiced and practiced

until he was the best violin player
in the whole summer camp?

No, Mom. I never went to summer camp.

Oh, right. That was me.

Anyway, the point is, you're my son.

You won't let a little thing
like a royal decree

stop you from doing your duty.

Now get out there and save that queen!

[upbeat music playing]

♪ You're the best of the best
And if you have to be a pest ♪

♪ Just continue to do the right thing ♪

♪ Mom, I try and I try
It's enough to make me cry ♪

♪ The Queen is tired of my bodyguarding ♪

♪ Nonsense I say
Don't let that stand in your way ♪

♪ I know that you've got what it takes ♪

♪ Yeah, I guess you're right
You've shown me the light ♪

♪ I won't make any more dumb mistakes ♪

♪ That's my boy ♪

-♪ That's me
-My pride and joy ♪

♪ Yup, that's me ♪

♪ That's my boy
That's my boy, that's my boy ♪

♪ You're up to any task
In the spotlight you should bask ♪

♪ You've always made me proud ♪

♪ I'm going to try and save the Queen
I'll wait to intervene ♪

♪ I'll do it even if it's not allowed ♪

-♪ That's my boy
-That's me ♪

-♪ My pride and joy
-Yup, that's me ♪

♪ That's my boy
That's my boy, that's my boy ♪

-♪ That's my boy
-I'm her boy ♪

-♪ That's my boy
-I'm her boy ♪

So you have to save the Queen's life, eh?

Have you tried throwing her one of these?

Or maybe this one?

Or maybe one of those?

I would if I could.

But the Queen wants me out of her palace.

Out of her sight and out of her business.

In other words, out of her hair, Hare?

I think you should listen to this story.

"Once there was a billy goat named--"

-[Hare] Let me guess, Billy?
-[Caterpillar] No, his name was Frank.

Now, if I may continue.

"Frank was a friendly goat.

In fact, he was too friendly.

You might even say,
Frank tended to butt in.

Whenever he saw someone chatting,

he horned in on the conversation.

Whenever someone was on the phone,

Frank bothered them.

The fact was, no one on the farm

could talk without Frank interrupting.

And the other animals
were so tired of Frank

butting in that they ran away
whenever they saw him.

Frank became a lonely goat.

Finally, Frank's friend
tried to talk to him."

-Listen, Frank--
-Long time no see.

-I need to tell you--
-I don't know why nobody likes me.

-What I'm trying to say is--
-I think I'm a good guy, as goats go.

[Caterpillar] "Frank's friend told him
that if he would just stop butting in,

others might start liking him again.

Frank felt a little sheepish.

And that's not easy for a goat.

But from then on...

Frank let others talk
instead of always butting in."

So you're saying,
although I'm just trying to protect her,

the Queen thinks I'm butting in
on her business.

Perhaps.

Everyone needs time to themselves.

Privacy is very important.

Right, unless...

Unless there's a way
to be close to the Queen

without her knowing it. After all,

if she doesn't know I'm there,
I'm not butting in.

Hmm.

[knocking on door]

I wonder who that could be.

Oh.

Uh...

Look, Your Majesty.

Somebody left this plant at the door.

-Oh. Look at that.
-Oh.

"To Her Majesty, from the March Hare."

Aw. How sweet.

He probably felt bad
about bothering me before.

Well, leave it here next to the throne.

Huh.

Funny, I could've sworn
something moved in that plant.

Oh, Rabbit.

I think you missed a spot.

I did not, these shoes look perfect.

Good. Then I'll go for my walk.

Thank you, Rabbit.

Look out, Your Majesty!
Don't step on that banana peel!

Hare, I thought I told you
to leave me alone!

I'm sorry, Your Majesty.

I thought by hiding in this plant,

I could protect you without pestering you.

-What a ridiculous idea.
-No kidding. This plant is full of bugs.

-[insects buzzing]
-[all shouting]

Now, I want to enjoy my picnic.

It's your job to keep it Hare-less.

-You understand your mission?
-Yes.

We keep a sharp eye out
for any moving bushes.

-Vines.
-Or trees.

-That might actually be the March Hare.
-In disguise.

-So.
-So, don't worry, Your Majesty.

We'll keep our eyes peeled.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ You made the right decision
'Cause we both have perfect vision ♪

♪ We won't be fooled by any disguise ♪

♪ Nothing can escape our eagle eyes ♪

♪ Aye, aye, ma'am ♪

♪ Nothing can slip past us ♪

♪ Aye, aye, ma'am ♪

♪ Because we are the fastest ♪

♪ We see the forest from end to end ♪

♪ That's right, on us you can depend ♪

♪ We can see for miles and miles ♪

♪ We'll put an end to all Hare's wiles ♪

♪ Aye, aye, ma'am ♪

♪ Nothing can escape out stare ♪

♪ Aye, aye, ma'am ♪

♪ If we can't see it, it's not there ♪

♪ We'll do more than our best ♪

♪ You can trust us to the test ♪

♪ We're no slobs on the job ♪

♪ We've got style and grace ♪

♪ Plus, these eagle eyes ♪

♪ Upon our face ♪

♪ Aye, aye, ma'am ♪

Very good. Now start watching
while I start my picnic.

Rats! She's hired Hare watchers.

Boy, keeping the Queen safe
is getting harder all the time.

[bees buzzing]

A bee hive!

To make sure the Queen is safe,
I should move it.

Maybe if I'm very quiet,

no one will notice me.

What a nice day for a picnic,
Your Majesty.

Yes, Alice. There's nothing like a nice,

quiet afternoon in the country.

-[bee buzzing]
-What was that?

Oh, dear. It sounds like...

Bees!

-Your Majesty!
-We just saw the March Hare.

Good grief! This is ridiculous!

What do I have to do
to keep that Hare away from me?

I have an idea.

Shoo, Cat.

Her Majesty is in no mood
to listen to one of your sneaky--

-What is it?
-Yes, do tell.

Until the Hare believes
he saved your life,

thereby repaying you for saving his life,

he's gonna stick to you
like fur on upholstery.

So you're saying I'm stuck.

Hmm! That's a great idea.

No, no, no. I'm saying that until Hare
believes he saved your life.

Aha.

So I don't really need to be in danger,
I just need Hare to believe it

so that he can think he saved me.

Exactly.

Oh, great idea.

You all are gonna help me
pull it off. Come on, let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

Yesiree.

There's nothing like a stroll
in the forest

followed by adoring subjects.

Of course with my protector at my side.

Thank you, Your Majesty. I assure you,

you are perfectly safe with me!

Ooh! Look at these signs!

-"Danger! Quicksand!"
-"Not safe. Especially for queens."

Gee, Your Majesty,
are you sure this path is safe?

Oh, of course. With my bodyguard here,

why worry about a few warning signs?

Here's our fake quicksand pit,
Your Majesty.

Yes, yes, yes.

Say, what a nice spot.

I think I'll rest here for a moment.

Are you sure there's no quicksand
around here?

Yes, we wouldn't want the queen
to get stuck in quicksand, would we, Hare?

I'm not really gonna sink, am I?

No, it's not real quicksand.

Just sort of squish your feet in it
to make it look like you're sinking.

Oh, right, right, right.

Help! Oh, help! Save me!

Come on, Your Majesty.
Put some feeling into it.

Help! Help!

Mr. Hare, have you looked
at the Queen lately?

Hi, Your Majesty.

Hare! Are you gonna save me or not?

I'm stuck in quicksand!

Gracious! You should've said something.
Don't panic, Your Majesty.

Ow! Oh, ow!

[all cheering]

Whoa, that was close.

It's lucky you were here, Hare.

No kidding, none of us noticed
that the Queen was in any terrible danger.

Yeah, I guess that makes you
one heroic hare.

♪ He would sacrifice his life
To save our royal queen ♪

♪ He's one heroic hare ♪

♪ if you know what I mean ♪

♪ The most fearless, brave ♪

♪ Lionhearted hare
That you've ever seen ♪

♪ Our heroic Hare didn't hesitate ♪

-♪ He jumped right into the quicksand
-Before it was too late ♪

-♪ He pulled her out
-He saved our queen ♪

♪ He's one heroic hare
If you know what I mean ♪

♪ He would sacrifice his life
To save our royal queen ♪

♪ He's one heroic hare ♪

♪ If you know what I mean ♪

♪ The most fearless, brave ♪

♪ Lionhearted hare
That you've ever seen ♪

♪ He would sacrifice his life ♪

♪ To save our royal queen ♪

♪ He's one heroic hare ♪

♪ If you know what I mean ♪

♪ The most fearless, brave ♪

♪ Lionhearted hare
That you've ever seen ♪

So, Hare. Do you believe
that you saved my life?

Will you finally leave me alone?

Of course, Your Majesty.
My Hare family duty is fulfilled.

And believe me, no one is happier than I.

Except for me, that is.

You know, Dinah, I've been thinking.

I'm going to apologize to Kathy
for butting into her business.

I mean, I wouldn't like

it if she were always
snooping around in my life.

After all, everyone deserves
a little privacy.

Even big sisters.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪