03x02 - ChAlice in Wonderland

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

Hi, Dinah, the ice cream truck
hasn't come by yet, has it?

[Dinah meows]

That's good. I've been thinking about
a fudge bar all day.

Now let's see how much money I have.

[sighs] Thirty-five, 45, 50.

-Hey, Dinah, look at this quarter.
-[purrs]

It doesn't just have the date it was made,

it has two dates, 1776 and 1976.

[gasps]

Wait, this is one
of those bicentennial quarters

that our country put out
to celebrate its 200th birthday.

Gee, this is kind of a rare coin.

Maybe I'd better save this
and use another quarter.

[sighs] Figures,
I don't have another quarter.

So if I want a fudge bar,
I have to spend a rare coin.

Gee, I need some time to think about this.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here on the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

[lighthearted music playing]

Good morning, Hatter.

[clears throat]
I say, good morning, Hatter.

[deflates loudly]

[blows whistle]

[huffs]

[horn honks]

Really, Hare? Do you have
to make so much noise

-while I'm reading?
-Well, I--

You know, I like it quiet enough
to hear a feather fall.

Well, I do now.

-What's that book you're reading?
-Well, it-- Well...

The Search for the Mummy's Treasure.

When it comes to my mommy,
I'm her one and only treasure.

Not that kind of mummy, not mother.

The mummy I'm reading about is

all wrapped up in cloth
and walks like this.

-[moaning]
-[yells]

Maybe he walks like that because
his pants are wrapped too tight.

No. He walks like that to scare
archaeologists away from the treasure.

See, archaeologists are people who dig up
interesting things from the past.

It helps them understand
what life was like years ago.

You don't suppose
there are ancient treasures

buried right here in Wonderland, do you?

If there are, where are we going to find
a team of archaeologists at this hour?

[both gasp]

[both shouting]

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Compass and flashlight
Shovel and pail ♪

♪ Over hill, over dale
We're hot on the trail ♪

♪ Be it wreckage or granite or gravel
At the hint of a sign, watch us travel ♪

♪ Eccentric explorers
Of the vast expanse ♪

♪ Consider khaki drawers
To be acceptable pants ♪

♪ Donning vests with pockets
To hold our tools ♪

♪ Those are relics, artifacts
Fossils and jewels ♪

♪ We'll go anywhere
To find something rare ♪

♪ A digging we will go ♪

♪ Remember the time
We climbed Wonderland mountain ♪

♪ We searched and searched
For an old water fountain ♪

♪ We dug and we dug
Till we struck chocolate frosting ♪

♪ Excavating is extremely exhausting ♪

♪ We never know
What to expect from our quest ♪

♪ A treasure chest or a dodo's nest ♪

♪ After every expensive expedition
Expect an expensive exhibition ♪

♪ We'll go anywhere
To find something rare ♪

♪ A digging we will go ♪

♪ A digging we will go ♪

♪ A digging we will go ♪

♪ Dig it ♪

Now, where in Wonderland should we go
to start looking for really old stuff?

Well, there's some potato salad
in the back of my refrigerator

-that's been there a while.
-Mm--

No, older than that.

I know. The Wonderland Ruins.

An ancient tea table.

How can we tell
this is an ancient tea table?

Well just look at all the broken cups
and saucers.

Wait a minute.
That's no different from my tea table.

I don't see anything around here
that looks like a treasure.

No, but I'm sure if we dig enough holes,
something will turn up.

And if not, we can come back
and bury your potato salad.

[spooky music playing]

[both groaning]

-Dig and toss.
-Dig and toss.

-And dig and toss.
-And dig and toss.

-And dig and toss.
-And dig and toss.

-And dig and toss.
-And dig and toss.

Hare!

You're shoveling dirt into my hole.

Well, you're shoveling dirt into mine.

Oh, well, then, let's switch.

Dig and toss. Dig and toss.

Is it Halloween already?

No, it's not Halloween.

Hare and I are dressed like this
because we're on an archaeological dig.

That's right. We're going to find
all the valuable relics

buried in Wonderland.

Well, I see you've been digging,
have you found anything yet?

Have we found anything?
Hare, tell them what we found so far.

We found seven tin cans, three bottle caps

and, uh, more night crawlers
than you can shake a stick at.

Although I don't know why you'd want to.

I see. Call me if you happen to find
any ancient squeaky toys.

[laughs]

-[clank]
-[gasps]

-Eureka!
-My, what?

I found something.

It appears to be a chalice. [chuckles]

You know, a goblet.

A drinking cup.

A drinking cup.

And since it's inlaid with diamonds,
it must be worth a king's ransom.

Or, in Wonderland, a queen's ransom.

There's no reason the queen has to know
about our archaeological treasure.

What archaeological treasure?

-[clang]
-Ooh!

Say, what are these holes doing here?

Shocking, isn't it?

The condition of the roads
here in Wonderland.

I don't think these have anything to do
with road repair.

I think you two dug these holes and--

And found an archaeological treasure?

[mischievous music playing]

All right, hand it over.

But why should we hand over this
centuries-old diamond-studded chalice?

[gasps]

-We found it.
-We found it.

I know. But I believe you're forgetting
one of Wonderland's strictest rules.

Uh... [mumbling]

"All subjects who find
centuries-old diamond-studded chalices

while digging around the tea party ruins

must turn them over directly
to the queen."

So, you see, it's completely
out of my hands. [chuckles]

[sighs]

Thank... Thank you.

Goodbye.

And now it's out of our hands.

[both sigh]

Tell me more about the chalice,
Your Majesty.

Well, it has absolutely gorgeous diamonds
that sparkle like, uh...

Like my eyes.

-I'd love to see it.
-So would I, come to think of it.

Why is Rabbit taking so long
to clean my chalice?

Oh, I'm sure it's because he wants
to get it clean as a whistle.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Once I had this music box
But it was dark and dusty ♪

♪ It had two tarnished locks
Very old and rusty ♪

♪ But I scrubbed and polished everywhere ♪

♪ With elbow grease and loving care ♪

♪ So I [whistles] and I [whistles]
And it was clean as a whistle ♪

♪ The best music box I'd ever seen
And it was clean as a [whistles] ♪

[whistles]

[whistles]

[whistling]

♪ A little scrub makes the old look new ♪

[whistles]

♪ With a little bit of effort
Your work shines through ♪

[whistles]

♪ Just, [whistles] and [whistles]
It's as clean as a whistle ♪

♪ Give it your best and give the test ♪

♪ It's as clean as a whistle ♪

[whistles]

[Red Queen laughs]

Oh, there you are. Where is my chalice?

-Chalice? What chalice?
-Rabbit...

Oh, you mean, this chalice.

Here it is, Your Majesty, but...

Oh, tell me later.
Ooh, look at it sparkle.

It gives me goosebumps.

Me too. I've never seen-- Wait a minute.

Rabbit, here's a little dirt
you forgot to clean.

Yes, I tried, Your Majesty,
but that last bit...

And what's this writing?

That's what I wanted to tell you about...

"Thou who holdeth me shall...

be in great danger."

Hmm.

Not exactly have a nice day
with a happy face, is it?

No, indeed, Your Majesty.

In fact, it sounded to me like a...

Well, a curse.

-Curse?
-Yes.

You know, a jinx, a hex,

a spell someone put on the cup
to cause bad luck.

-Rabbit.
-I think maybe we should get rid of it.

Oh, nonsense.

I don't believe in curses.

Ooh, look how it catches the light
from the chandelier.

Oh!

Oh!

Your Majesty, are you all right?

I think so.

Boy, that's one fast-acting curse.

Oh, Rabbit, grow up.

Curses aren't for real.

-[whistling]
-Look at that.

Oh! Oh. Oh...

[Red Queen exclaiming repeatedly]

Get rid of that thing. How dare the Hatter
and Hare send that to me!

[Rabbit stammering]

Really, Mr. Rabbit,

I'm sure the fallen chandelier
was just a coincidence.

An accident that just seemed
to be connected with the chalice.

Well-- [gasps]

I'll just be happy
when the Hatter and Hare

get here to take this off my hand.

-Rabbit!
-[gasps]

We came right after we got
your urgent message.

Actually, we came right after we got
your urgent message,

had tea, did the morning puzzle,
and played a few hands of Old Maid.

-Wasn't that just what I said?
-It doesn't matter.

I asked you here because
the queen doesn't want the chalice.

She asked me to give it back to you.

-And...
-You mean, we can keep it?

-Yes, but I--
-Oh, that's great.

Our very own "Chalice in Wonderland."

Tell the queen we said thanks. Goodbye.

No, you-- Fellows... Oh, radishes.

I never got to tell them about the curse.

You did try, Mr. Rabbit.

Yes, but if something terrible happens
to them, it will be on my conscience.

Don't worry.
Nothing bad is going to happen.

Curses aren't real.

Well, I hope you're right.

[chuckling]

Hare, have you ever seen
a more beautiful chalice?

Never. Say, there's something written
on the bottom here.

Oh, no deposit, no return?

No. Look.

"Thou who holdeth me
shall be in great danger."

Now, why would that be?

Maybe it's a dribble chalice.

Uh, can't be.
I invented that just last year.

You don't suppose it's a curse?

Of course not,
there is no such thing as a curse.

Hatter, are you all right?

I'm not sure about that, but I'm not hurt.

What was that?

Probably termites.

But, Hatter, this is a healthy tree.

My gosh. Do you know what this means?

I need a good tree surgeon?

No! It means, the branch
must have fallen because of...

-The curse!
-The curse!

[both clamoring]

Hey. When I said put
a little stuff on the ball,

this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

I didn't throw that.

This is very strange.

Something this beautiful falling
from the sky.

Wonder where it came from.

From the looks of it,

I'd say it came from ancient Wonderland.

Ancient Wonderland, the good old days?

Right. The days of yore.

[hip-hop music playing]

♪ Long before in the days of yore
The ones that are not here anymore ♪

♪ Dragons roamed Wonderland
The castles towered on the sand ♪

♪ It would be good
If we could go back in time ♪

♪ I surely would become
A daring royal knight ♪

♪ Riding off to make things right ♪

♪ Let your mind drift through time ♪

♪ To when this chalice was new ♪

♪ When there was magic everywhere ♪

♪ But there was no me or you ♪

♪ Those days of yore seem really great
Brother, we were born too late ♪

♪ Way back when we have not been
And those days won't ever come again ♪

♪ When a wizard's work was never done
I'll bet they had a lot of fun ♪

♪ Let your mind drift through time ♪

♪ To when this chalice was new ♪

♪ When there was magic everywhere ♪

♪ But there was no me or you ♪

♪ Those days of yore seem really great ♪

♪ Brother, we were born too late ♪

I wonder why someone would throw away
something so valuable.

Who knows...

A very wise man once said something to me
I think applies in this situation.

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

So after the chandelier
came crashing down,

the queen ordered Mr. Rabbit
to get rid of the chalice.

The queen should have gotten rid
of that chandelier a long time ago.

That room cries out for track lighting.

It's because she has herself believing
this curse business.

What do you think, Mr. Caterpillar?

I think you should listen to this story.

"Once,there was a little monster
named Morris,

who couldn't fall asleep.

-[boy giggling]
-[gasps]

Mommy, I can't sleep.

[Caterpillar] So the monster mommy
brought Morris a cup of warm milk

and tucked him back in bed.

He kept hearing strange noises.

Morris was afraid
there might be a boy under his bed.

-[boy giggling]
-[gasps]

Mommy, Mommy, there's a boy under my bed.

It's just your imagination.

There's no such thing as a little boy.

[Caterpillar] Morris' mother comforted
her little monster.

[sighs]

[boy giggling]

Mommy, Mommy, there's a boy under my bed.

[Caterpillar] And, again,
his mother assured Morris

that it was just his imagination.

And he'd better go to sleep now.

But Morris knew
there was a boy under his bed.

And, sure enough, he was right.

The boy told Morris
he didn't want to eat him up.

He just wanted to play.

[both laughing]

[Mrs. Monster]Morris?

What was that noise?

I didn't hear anything.

[Caterpillar] From that night on,

Morris was never again afraid
of a boy under his bed."

So you see, Alice,

the imagination is capable
of all sorts of things.

But, Mr. Caterpillar,

in your story, when Morris thought
there was someone under his bed,

there really was.

But he turned out to be a friend,
didn't he?

You're saying, even if there is a curse,
it's nothing to be afraid of.

-Exactly.
-[Alice laughs]

The only way that chalice can hurt you
is if you drop it on your foot.

-Yo, yo, yo, Caterpillar.
-Yo, yo, yo, Caterpillar.

Yo, yo, yo.

Excuse me, Mr. Dee,
but where did you get that chalice?

You might just say it fell into my hands.

It looks like the one that Mr. Hatter
and Mr. Hare dug up.

If they didn't have enough sense
to hold on to something so valuable,

it's not our fault.

Yes, it's not your fault. [chuckles]

I'll bet I know why they got rid of it.

Because they didn't want
any trouble with the curse.

The curse? Oh, yes, of course.
Ooh, scary stuff.

-What curse?
-Why, the curse on the cup, of course.

You mean you didn't know about it?

No, we didn't know about any curse.

That's because there isn't one, Dum.
Calm down.

Boy, you two will cook up any silly story

to get this valuable chalice
away from us, won't you?

It's true. There really is a curse
underneath on the bottom of the cup.

Dee, look,
there is something written on it.

"Thou who holdeth me
shall be in great danger."

Sounds like a curse to me.

All right. Maybe somebody did put
a curse on this, hundreds of years ago.

That doesn't mean we have
to be silly enough to believe it.

[thunder crashing]

Mr. Dum, are you all right?

I will be, as soon as we get rid
of this chalice.

I hear you. Let's take that thing back
to Hatter and Hare,

and let them bury it where they found it.

-That's right, come on!
-Wait, I was just teasing about the curse.

Oh, great. [sighs]

We can add their names
to the list of people

who believe in the curse.

You got that right.

I still think it's a shame
to put something so beautiful

back into the ground again.

-I'm sure it's not really cursed.
-Oh, no?

How do you explain
the three near disasters we had?

They were just coincidences.

[laughing] Alice...

once is a coincidence,
twice is a coincidence.

Even ten times is a coincidence.
But not three times.

Anyway, we're gonna bury this
so deep in the ground,

no future archeologist
will ever dig it up.

Hey, look.

That last bit of dirt
the Rabbit wasn't able to clean off,

it just got knocked loose.

And, look, it was covering an extra word.

What does the curse say now?

"Thou who holdeth me shall never be
in great danger." Ha!

That's not a very good curse.

I'll say.

I guess people just didn't take pride
in their curses in those days.

Wait! Don't you see?
It isn't a curse, it's actually good luck.

Ah, then, I'll take that chalice!
Thank you very much.

According to the Wonderland Constitution:

"All centuries-old
diamond-studded chalices,

which were first thought to be bad luck
but turn out to be good luck,

-must be turned over to--"
-Wait, let me guess. The queen?

-Oh, of course.
-But, Your Majesty,

if the chalice is good luck,

then how do you explain
the three bad things that happened?

[gasps] You're right.
The chalice is bad luck.

No. That's not what I'm saying either.

Don't you see? If the chalice promises
good luck but bad luck happens,

then it must be just a coincidence.
You know, chance.

Chance, schmance.
Is the chalice good luck or bad luck?

Neither. It's just a beautiful chalice
for your palace.

Oh...

[all] Oh...

I like that. A chalice for my palace.

[pop music playing]

♪ I raise this chalice in the air
It is a goblet, fine and fair ♪

♪ Excuse me if I brag and boast
This chalice is simply the most ♪

♪ I finally got a chalice for my palace ♪

♪ This chalice has no hex or spell ♪

♪ No jinx or curse, so all is well ♪

♪ And though it may not bring good luck ♪

♪ It surely is a lovely cup ♪

♪ She's finally got
A chalice for the palace ♪

♪ This chalice is a sight to see ♪

♪ With diamonds for a queen like me ♪

♪ It's finders keepers, so it's mine ♪

♪ It is a goblet so divine ♪

♪ This cup is ancient and it's rare ♪

♪ It is a cup without compare ♪

♪ Its diamonds sparkle like my eyes ♪

♪ It's no surprise to realize ♪

♪ She's finally got a chalice ♪

♪ A chalice for my palace ♪

♪ She's finally got
A chalice for her palace ♪

You know, Dinah, I've been thinking.

I'm going to pass
on the ice cream truck today.

Well, I can always get a fudge bar,

but I may not always be able to get
my hands on a bicentennial quarter.

And the longer you keep something rare,
the more valuable it becomes.

Except with you, Dinah.

You've been valuable
since the day I got you.

[chuckles]

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪