03x27 - Pie Noon

[bunniefuu]

[mellow music playing]

Dinah, I'm so mad, I can't see straight.

Aren't you gonna ask why I'm mad?

I haven't been able to eat one
of my desserts at lunch this week.

Aren't you gonna ask me
why I haven't been able to eat them?

Because this new girl at school walks
over to my lunch tray and takes them.

Aren't you gonna ask me
why I don't try and stop her?

She's such a bully, I'm afraid of her.

What am I gonna do tomorrow
when she swipes my banana cream pie?

The one dessert
I look forward to all week.

-[meows]
-Don't ask

because I don't have
any idea what I'm going to do.

Boy, I need some time to think about this.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here on the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

[guitar playing ballad]

♪ Timely tales about our friend Hare ♪

♪ What he got in the mail
Is giving him a scare ♪

♪ There's something that he's got to do ♪

♪ It's not going to be easy
But he's gotta see it through ♪

♪ The ballad of Pie Noon ♪

♪ Is what I'm here to croon ♪

♪ Trouble's on its way
And it's gonna be here soon ♪

♪ When the sun is in the sky
Straight overhead about yay-high ♪

♪ That'll be the time ♪

♪ That'll be the time ♪

♪ When Hare's luck just might run dry ♪

Oh. I wonder what could be keeping Hare.

He's never been late
for a morning tea party before.

-Maybe he's not coming.
-Not coming?

Alice, Hare has never ever missed
a morning tea party.

No matter how busy he's been,

he's always made time
to come to every single, solitary one.

You've never had a morning tea party.

How true that is.

Sorry I'm late. Packing took forever.

You don't need a lot of clothes
for this tea party, just a T-shirt.

-Ha! A T-shirt.
-No. No.

My bag is packed
because I'm getting out of town.

-Getting out of town? Where are you going?
-I don't care.

Anywhere as long as I'm out
of Wonderland by 12:00.

Oh! I just got this letter saying

Mike McNasty's coming in
on the noon train.

[ominous music playing]

Who's Mike McNasty?

Alice, I can't believe you don't know
who Mike McNasty is.

Who's Mike McNasty?

He was the bully at my high school
and the man responsible for my nickname.

"Pie Face."

Your high school nickname was Pie Face?

What a coincidence! Mine was "Scooter."

-Why did everyone call you Pie Face?
-Because, no matter where I was,

this bully would find me
and throw a pie in my face.

In gym class...

[school bell ringing]

At my locker...

Around the bike racks...

It got so bad, I tried wearing a disguise,
but even that didn't work.

Oh, come on, Hare,
I think you're exaggerating. Here you go.

Oh, thank you. Oh!

Sure you're not making it sound
worse than it was?

Yes!

Just take a look at my photo
in the high school yearbook.

See?

You wouldn't have
a spare wallet size of that, would you?

No, and I'm not sticking around
long enough to have any new ones taken.

McNasty's letter said
he'd be here at exactly high noon.

Give or take five minutes.

High noon? But that's only an hour away.

Precisely.

So with each passing second,

a cream pie gets
that much closer to my kisser.

But what's an hour?

What's a hundred miles?

He'll come looking for you
and you'll just have to keep running

for the rest of your life.

I think the time has come
for you to confront this bully.

Why would I want
to say nice things to him?

Not comfort him, confront him.
You know, go face-to-face with him.

Hare, you won't have to do this alone.

After all, this is your town.
You've got friends here.

You don't need to be afraid
of a confrontation.

[guitar playing ballad]

♪ Hare is okay 'cause he's got a friend ♪

♪ A friend will stick by you
Until the bitter end ♪

[clock chimes]

So there you have it.

Mike McNasty is coming in
on the train at exactly high noon.

Give or take five minutes.

And Hare needs a posse.

Where are we gonna find one?
They only come out at night.

Not a possum, a posse.

A group of people who help keep
the peace in an emergency.

Wait, it's not right for me to drag
all of you into this confrontation.

It's my problem.

But if McNasty isn't stopped,
he may become everybody's problem.

If we want to keep the streets of
Wonderland safe from lily-livered louts,

we'd better all pitch in.

Gosh, you guys are the greatest.

I can always count on you.

[rock music playing]

♪ When I'm feeling bullied
And I don't know what to do ♪

♪ You will be my courage
I can count on you ♪

♪ When I'm out on a limb
When I'm really in a stew ♪

♪ You're my number-one helpers
I can count on you ♪

♪ I can count on you
To lend a helping hand ♪

♪ That's what friends do
For friends here in Wonderland ♪

♪ If I'm locked up in a bind
Haven't got a clue ♪

♪ Well, your name's on my list
I can count on you ♪

♪ Together we'll stand
He will see it's true ♪

♪ There's strength in numbers
I can count on you ♪

♪ I can count on you
To lend a helping hand ♪

♪ That's what friends do
For friends here in Wonderland ♪

♪ I count on you ♪

Count on you!

We've got to hurry. That bully's going
to be here in less than an hour

and we don't have a single pie ready.

Uh, we're planning on feeding him?

No, the pies are for self-defense.

Wait, you mean this bully doesn't
just say mean things to you?

No, he bullies people
by throwing pies at them.

You mean, he's a pie-pitching pest?

[alarm bells ringing]

Don't worry, there will be five of us
and just one of him.

Oh. That won't make any difference.

Hear that? That won't make any difference.

What do you mean
that won't make any difference?

McNasty's so fast,

he can cream five people before they could
even get their pies out of the boxes.

So you're saying
our getting involved won't help?

Oh, sure it'll help.

It will help me feel less stupid

if I'm not the only one
who gets pies splattered all over him.

You know, Hare,
there is another way of looking at this.

What are people going to think
if they read about pie fighting

in the streets of Wonderland?

I'll tell you what they're gonna think.
That this is just another lawless,

wide-open land
where people can't walk down the street

without getting hit
in the face with a pie.

So, what you're really saying is,
you won't help me

because you're chicken?

That and my dry-cleaning bills
are too high.

Wait, you shouldn't be so quick
to agree we're chickens.

You're right, Dum, we can't be chickens.

After all, chickens can't run this fast.

♪ Hare's friends are gone ♪

♪ The friends he thought were true
Now he's standing on his own ♪

♪ Makes him wanna cry boo-hoo ♪

Hare!

-Where you running off to?
-I don't know.

When I get there, I'll send you
a postcard and you can tell me.

Not so fast.

So it's true what everybody's saying.

You are on the run
from some bully, aren't you?

Yes, Your Majesty.

I don't have much time. He arrives
on the train at exactly high noon.

Give or take five minutes.

[shocking music playing]

Frankly, I'm shocked.

That one of your subjects
would be bullied by an outsider?

No, that that stupid train
can't manage to run on time.

But now that you mentioned it,

how did you get yourself
in this situation, Hare?

It's never happened to me.
I've never been bullied.

That's because you're the queen,
and nobody would dare bully the queen.

I knew there was a reason I took this job.

You know, I was just reading in this issue
of Playground Psychology Today

that if someone is bullying you,
it's better to just walk away

and then return later with an adult
or a figure of authority.

Where in the world is Hare going
to find a figure of authority?

Oh, right, I'm a figure of authority.

Then, Hare, I'll protect you.

That bully wouldn't dare do anything
to you with me around.

Thanks, Your Majesty.

Even if the bully does back down
at the train station,

he'll just be waiting to get me alone
some other time, some other place.

Which makes the queen's offer
that much more generous.

Think about it, Hare.

Her Majesty is willing to stick
by your side 24 hours a day.

Twenty-four hours a day? In your dreams.

On second thought, Hare,
this is your fight.

♪ Hare, you're in a pickle
So, what are you gonna do? ♪

♪ Stand up for yourself ♪

♪ Don't let that bully run over you ♪

[Hare] Eleven-forty,

which means that bully's going
to be here in exactly 20 minutes.

Give or take five minutes.
I'd better go while I still have the time.

No. I'm going to stay, I'm a hare.

No, I'm a mouse. I'm a hare. No, a mouse--

It seems like you don't know
what kind of animal you are.

Hi, Caterpillar.
I guess my behavior must look strange.

Yes, but I never let that get
in the way of our friendship.

It's just that this bully who used
to pick on me in high school

is on his way to Wonderland.

I know I should probably stick around
and stand up to him.

But to be honest with you,
I'm a little scared.

Well, I don't blame you for being scared.

I do think
you should listen to this story.

"Once there was
a largemouth bass named Gill,

who was the biggest fish in his pond.

Because he was the biggest fish,
it was easy for Gill to bully the others.

And to get his own way.

Finally, Gill made himself
king of the pond.

[sighs]

But after a while, Gill got bored
being a big fish in a little pond.

So he swam far down stream
until he found a big pond.

As soon as Gill moved in,

he went out for a night on the pond,
looking for smaller fish to bully,

but he didn't find any smaller fish.

You see, in this pond,

Gill was the smallest.

And so the tide turned for poor Gill.

He found out what it was like
to be picked on.

[all laughing]

And he didn't like it one bit.

So he high-tailed it back to his old pond,

swearing he'd never be a bully again.

For Gill had discovered
it was true what they say:

There are other fish in the sea.

And no matter how big you are,
there is always somebody bigger."

[sighs]

[all laughing]

That's a good story.

But I'm sure Mike McNasty
is never going to change.

Bullying's just too much fun for him.

Then maybe you should find a way
to make it less fun for him.

[guitar playing ballad]

♪ A big bad bully is coming in at noon ♪

♪ Watch out, he will be here soon ♪

[suspenseful music playing]

[train horn blowing in distance]

I should have known
the hare wouldn't be here to meet me.

After all, he's too chicken.

Mmm, yummy.

Did someone say chicken?

Who wants to know?

[purrs] I do,
and you don't have to get nasty.

Of course I have to get nasty!

After all, I'm a bully!

[rock music playing]

♪ You know I'm the kind of guy ♪

♪ Who doesn't even flinch
When I steal candy from a baby ♪

♪ I'm a bully type ♪

♪ I always take a swipe at anything ♪

♪ Helpless, I don't mean maybe ♪

♪ I'm a bully ♪

♪ Yes, I'm a bully ♪

♪ That's right, I'm a bully ♪

♪ A bully ♪

♪ I wanna make the moment last ♪

♪ I don't want it to go by too fast ♪

♪ When I bully you
You better take a clue ♪

♪ I'm a tough guy and I'll pester you ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a bully ♪

♪ Yes, I'm a bully ♪

♪ That's right, I'm a bully ♪

♪ I'm a bully ♪

Bully.

So, tell me, Cat,
where can I find the hare?

Who wants to know?

Oh, a wise guy, huh?

No, more like a tip-for-tat cat.

Listen, I just want
to talk to my old buddy,

you know, relieve some
of the good old school days.

Hmm. From what I've heard,
they weren't so good for the hare.

Why, sure they were.

In fact, I'll bet the hare would even
go so far as to say:

"Those old school days were sweet."

[gasps]

♪ Sure looks bad for the hare
Right before his eyes ♪

♪ A bully with an attitude ♪

♪ And a load of fresh-baked pies ♪

[McNasty] Hey, buddy.

Buddy...

Come out, come out wherever you are.

[Hare] Are you looking for me?

[suspenseful music playing]

Well, if it isn't old Pie Face.

That's... [coughs]

...Mr. Pie Face to you.

I guess it isn't Pie Face at all.

It's Hare, and don't you forget it.

Aren't you a little...

[giggles]

...jumpy, Pie Face?

No, I'm not jumpy.

To me, you look like you're a little...

-...nervous.
-"Nervous."

Why would I be nervous?

Well, you wouldn't be afraid
that I have...

...a pie with me, would you?

Ah, you got me all wrong, Pie Face.

I may be a bully,
but at least I'm a considerate one.

-You mean, you didn't bring any pies?
-Oh, I brought pies,

but I was nice enough
to bring your favorite flavor.

Hey, aren't you gonna run away
like you used to?

No.

But it's no fun for me
if you don't try to get away.

Exactly.

Oh, okay, I'll make it
a little more interesting.

I'll put the pie on the ground between us,

then we both walk five paces,

turn and go for the pie.

Okay?

-One.
-One.

-Two.
-Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Hey, you didn't play by the rules.

Of course not. If I did,
I'd be left out of the bully's club.

-Get ready for dessert, Pie Face!
-Wait, your shoe's untied.

Aha! Now the pie is on the other foot.

-Now who's not playing by the rules?
-That's because I'm changing the rules.

Bullying is mean,
nasty, ornery, and hurtful,

and now let's see how you like it.

No, no, please! Please!

My mommy would send me
to my room if I got pie on my shirt.

Please don't, I'll do anything.

-Will you stop calling me Pie Face?
-Yes, yes.

-Will you stop bullying me?
-Yes, yes.

Will you bark like a doggie?

Yes, anything.

Well, don't worry.

I'm not going to make you do
anything you don't want to

because that would make me
just as much of a bully as you.

And two wrongs don't make a right.

You're not gonna throw a pie in my face?

No, I'm too honorable
and noble to do that.

[Red Queen] Well, I'm not.

[all] And neither are we.

[comical music playing]

[screams]

It's lemon meringue.

I hate lemon meringue!

I like blueberry.

Maybe even apple. Not lemon meringue!

Looks like the bully got
a taste of his own medicine.

Yeah. Mm.

It doesn't taste too bad.

I thought you were staying out of this,
that it was my fight.

We thought it over, Hare,

and decided we just couldn't let you
confront that bully all by yourself.

It didn't look like you needed our help.

You made fast work out of that bully

and you did it
without stooping to his level.

And for that, I say bully for you.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ You could have run but you didn't
And he withdrew ♪

-♪ You took the tiger by the tail ♪
-♪ And you gave him what he was due ♪

♪ You were scared and crying
But you sure did pull through ♪

♪ You stand your ground
When the chips were down ♪

♪ It was the only thing you could do ♪

♪ Bully for you, we'd like to say
Bully for you ♪

♪ Bully for you, we'd like to say
Bully for you ♪

♪ He wasn't that tough
When you called his bluff ♪

♪ He turned out to be nothing
But a wimpy, little wise guy ♪

♪ You're a hare, not a mouse
You stood up to that louse ♪

♪ Instead of getting creamed
With a banana cream pie ♪

♪ Bully for you, we'd like to say
Bully for you ♪

♪ Bully for you, we'd like to say
Bully for you ♪

♪ Bully for you, we'd like to say
Bully for you ♪

♪ Bully for you, we'd like to say
Bully for you ♪

♪ Bully for me ♪

[guitar playing ballad]

♪ Well, it looks like old Hare
Did what he had to do ♪

♪ He did not back down
And he saw it bravely through ♪

♪ Oh, the ballad of Pie Noon
Is what I'm here to croon ♪

♪ But right now our tale is through
And I'll be leavin' soon ♪

♪ When the sun was in the sky
Straight overhead about yay-high ♪

♪ Yeah, that was the time ♪

♪ That was the time
When Hare stood his ground ♪

♪ And made the bully cry ♪

You know, one thing's still bothering me.

Who is that guy?

Yes, and how do we get him
to stop singing that corny song?

I'll take care of this.

I figured out
what I'm going to do tomorrow

when that bully tries
to swipe my banana cream pie.

I'm going to stand up to her,
that's what I'm going to do.

And I'm going to let her know

that it's not all right for her
to take something that's not hers.

Don't worry, Dinah,
no matter what she says to me,

she's not going to get my pie.

Not even in her face.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪