04x03 - Mommy Fiercest/The Taking Tree

[bunniefuu]

[Evil laughter]

[Speaking japanese]

Honey?

Have you finished with the
bathroom yet?

The postmaster's gotta deliver a
package, and the package can't

Wait.

♪ Sorry
extraordinary beauty takes

Extraordinary time.

Oh.

Ha ha ha ha.

Extraordinary beauty.

But seriously, you coming out or
what?

Huh?

What's that, dear?

Aah!

[Screaming]
ah, men.

They just don't understand how
hard us ladies work to look

Beautiful.

Mom!

I need you!

Every time I take a bite of this
vitamin-enriched bread, it keeps

Getting smaller!

Pretty soon, it will be gone.

Then what'll I do?

[Crying]
[crying]

Ah, kids.

They just don't understand the
concept of eating.

Ha ha ha.

What's this?

[Crowing]
crow's feet?

[Screaming]
[screaming]

Aisle 7.

Thank you.

[Screaming]
now you say good-bye to those

Nasty crow's feet with new say
good-bye to those nasty crow's

Feet face foam.

Simply squirt... And wait 13
seconds.

And remove.

[Gasping]
[crowing]

They're still there!

[Knocking]
gladys!

What?

You hear me knocking.

Can I please come in?

Go away, reaper.

Oh, come on!

I only got to go the bathroom
once a year, and I gotta go

Super bad.

I'm not coming out till these
crow's feet are off my face!

Crow's feet?

Fine.

I guess I could shave a few
years off the top.

Great systems of the underworld!

Someone open a window!

Well, come on out, man.

A deal's a deal.

Your crow's feet should be gone.

Now I get the bathroom.

It's all yours, reaper.

Wow!

That foam worked after all!

It just needed 22 seconds, not


Well, I better go check on billy
and that bread.

[Humming]
well, I don't know me own

Strength.

And now for that bathroom.

[Screaming]
ugh!

Sorry, fat man.

You'll have to wait in line.

I'll do it.

That's right, mandy.

Every time I take a bite, it
keeps getting smaller!

See?

I've lost it.

Yes, billy, you really have.

Gosh, I wish a white bread
fairy elf gnome would

Conveniently appear to help me
through these oh so troubled

Times.

♪ Oh, billy
I've got some bread for you ♪

Wow!

Thanks bread fairy elf gnome!

See, mandy, believe and you
shall receive!

That's not a bread fairy,
billy.

In fact, we don't even know
who she is.

[Giggles] you
mean... Uh-huh.

Bread fairy elf gnome,
indeed!

You're nothing but a filthy
stranger, and my mommy says to

Never accept white bread from
filthy strangers.

Your mommy?

But billy, I am your... Mommy.

My mom's ancient and
grappling with the onset of

Menopause.

Go to your room!

Ha ha!

You're fun!

A little odd, but fun.

I'll name you... Corn...

After the fresh bread you gave
me.

Corn?

Now, billy, I don't think that
that's an actual...

Yeah, sure.

I was gonna name your ginger or
pumpkin, but I feel you're more

Of a corn.

Well, call me what you want
as long as you remember who's

Boss.

Now, go do your homework.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sit, billy.

Sitting.

There's only one boss around
here, and that's me.

Oh, mandy.

You're such a leg puller.

He's my baby.

Hey, billy, you want to go to
the movies, yo?

You talk?

Of course I talk, yo.

Now, do you want to go to the
movies or what?

You do talk!

A movie it is.

Sorry, irwin.

Billy has homework to do.

Oh, I hate homework, yo.

Me, too, mr. Bread.

Scratch that, irwin.

Billy would be glad to join
you... And I'm going with him.

[Growling]
where he goes, I go.

Ditto.

Ok, listen up, dorks.

There are two movies playing,
and we will see this one.

"Exploding penguins iii:
total annihilation?"

Wow, an action-packed
dramedy about how penguins

Explode!

Solid.

Well, if bread's on it, then
I am, too.

What say you, corn?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Billy can't see that kind of
movie, what with its gratuitous

Violence, suggestive romance,
and filthy role models.

Well I say he can
see it... And he will.

No, no, no, no, no.

[Growling]
no!

He'll see "sunshine boy climbs
the tallest peak."

An instant classic.

Just add people.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

"Exploding penguins."

All right.

It's showtime.

Hey, grim, you almost done in
there?

Not yet, harold.

Ah, mortals.

They just don't understand how
hard us reapers work to look

Beautiful.

Well, then, I'll just wait
here and whistle... A tune

To pass the time.

[No sound]
I don't know how to whistle.

Instead, I'll watch the miracle
of life reveal itself through

This tiny, insignificant fly.

[Buzzing]
and now, from the directors

Who brought you "exploding
penguins" and "exploding

Penguins 2," the sequel, we
proudly present "exploding

Penguins iii: total
annihilation."

[Boom]
[laughing]

[Boom]
[laughing]

[Explosions, laughter]
boy, I sure wish corn could

Be here, yo.

I know just how you feel, mi
compadre.

[Explosions, laughter]
he's my baby!

[Explosions, laughter]
come on, billy.

Sunshine boy is just starting up
the mountain.

You know he gets there, you just
don't know how.

How will I get there?

Uh, corn, i...
Not now, billy.

He's almost there.

I'm almost there.

But corn, i... Shh.

He just met an alpaca.

I just met an alpaca.

[Farting]
that's nice.

Look, billy, he made it to
the top!

I made it to the top!

Billy?

[Gasping, growling]
[giggling]

I've got an idea, mandy.

Why not let billy decide who he
wants to be dominated by.

All right, billy.

Who's it gonna be?

It's me... It's me.

[Mumbling under her breath]
[nonsense]

I don't make any
life-altering decisions without

Consulting mr. Bread first.

I sure gotta go to the
bathroom, yo.

Sorry, guys.

When bread's gots to go, he's
gots to go.

[Laughing]
[buzzing]

[Sizzling]
[coughing]

Say, grim left his magic
stick thingy.

Hello, friends.

Tired of living?

Those sunday brunches got you
down?

Well, I can relieve all that
ails you with this magic stick

Thingy.

Side effects may include missing
limbs, hair loss, and not living

Anymore.

[Laughing]
[laughing]

What's all the racket?

Why don't you find another
bathroom door to annoy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah!

Sit tight, ladies.

I think he's dropping a deuce.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.

Now there's a sight for sore
eyes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Say, you waiting for the
bathroom, too?

Yeah.

Wow!

We have so much in common!

Want to get married?

Sure!

So do i.

[Laughing]
oh, gag.

Get a playpen.

All done.

Now, where was we, and who's
that bozo with my corn?

Corn?

So that's your name.

Well, um... I can explain
that.

No, no, no, uh, uh, uh.

I love you just the way you are.

Come on.

Let's go not talk to each other
for months at a time.

Well, I guess that leaves you
and me, mandy.

Actually, now that corn's out
of the picture, it just leaves

You, billy.

See you later.

Well, at least I still gots
my bread.

Actually, I gotta go too,
billy.

See you.

No!

But... I thought we had something
real special.

I'm gonna miss you.

Mom!

I needs more bread!

[Laughing]

Captain fat-head,
are you in there?

I guess that 8-hour seminar
on how not to touch me didn't

Quite work.

But I am looking for my
captain fat-head.

Your dad's in the garage.

No, mandy.

I'm looking for my action figure
captain fat-head.

He makes me smile when we hug.

Yeah... Your dad.

No!

He's my friend that I tell
secrets to, and if I don't find

Him, I'm not sure what I'll do
about all this bottled-up rage!

I just can't stand losing him,
and my mayonnaise jar, and my

Pants all in one week.

You lost your pants?

Well... Just the back, but
it's not so bad.

Breezy.

I just lost my ability to
see.

I can still feel your butt
looking at me.

Hi-yah!

[Gibberish]
eye of the tiger!

Have any of you seen me scythe?

Me lost it.

You lost your scythe?

Yeah, along with me
self-respect.

But when I find either one,
those little kids in kung fu

Class are gonna see who the real
master of the dojo is...

Especially amy cooper.

There seems to be a pattern
of missing objects.

Grim's scythe, billy's action
figure, pants, mayonnaise.

This pillow stuffing tastes
like I'm choking.

[Coughing]
and come to think of it, my

"Nancy drool" novels.

I wonder who or what is
responsible for our missing

Objects?

I betcha it's amy cooper.

She's just jealous and always
making fun of me, but tonight in

Kung fu class, I shall have my
revenge!

You're in a child's kung fu
class?

Silence, non-believer!

Let's focus and try to find
out what happened to our lost

Items.

Gather 'round, you filthy
brats.

It's obvious that something
supernatural is behind our

Missing items, so I invented
this to help us.

It's a supernatural specter
detector with kung fu grip.

How does it work?

Glad you asked, mandy-tandy.

His name is hector, the specter
detector.

He works like a metal detector
except instead of metal, it

Detects supernatural powers.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing!

I'm watching you, man.

Bark, take, bark, trouble,
bark, bark.

I already know there's bark
on that tree.

Bark, bark, bark!

Some type of mystery tree,
huh, boy?

Little hector found something.

Wow!

I've never seen anything like
it!

What is it?

Uh... A tree.

Hey, look, I can see mandy's
books, your scythe, and...

My captain fat-head!

Me scythe's in there?

Don't worry, jodi.

I'm a-coming!

Wow.

Not only did I find captain
fat-head, but I found carmen

Sandiego and waldo.

Hey, it's so smooth in here.

It's like the inside of my
skull.

Bark, bark.

What's that, boy?

I'm trapped in a tree?

Go for help.

Not cool, man.

I think it's a taking tree.

Very dangerous.

Taking trees keep taking objects
and won't give anything up

Unless you give them something
better in exchange.

Hello.

My name is eldridge
johnson-mayer, and yes, I'm a

Taking tree.

You're a talking taking tree?

Why would a tree be named
eldridge johnson-mayer?

Well, why don't you have a
nose?

Ooh, that's the first time
I've heard that one.

I'll go get the chainsaw.

I already have that, my dear.

[Whirring]
ooww!

Crafty.

So, what is it that you want in
exchange for our friend?

I've lived in front of this
house for many years, but I've

Never found the one object that
will make me happy.

I started small.

There was a little boy who lived
here.

I took his training wheels.

[Crash]
but they didn't make me happy.

I took his harvard acceptance
letter.

I hope I get my harvard
acceptance letter.

But none of it brought me
joy.

And what brings other men
happiness?

Their cars, their money, their
hair?

I took them all, but nothing
made my life any better, so

Forever I am condemned to search
for the one item...

[Snoring]
uh, hello?

Hey!



Did you hear my story?

I should've just told you what
item I want.

It's a mickey munchle baseball
card!

That's it?

A baseball card?

Not just any baseball card.

It's a mickey munchle!

It's worth 11,756,833 bucks, and
he's the only rookie to hit 600

Home runs without breaking a
window.

Kung fu class and baseball
trivia?

You and amy cooper are just
jealous!

I don't know how we're gonna get
that card, since it's worth


Only carries $50 on his person

At any given time.

Well, I guess I'm just gonna
keep your friend.

Well, it guess that's it,
then.

This tree got us by the bones.

Billy's just gonna have to stay
in there.

Grim, what about your scythe
and my books?

Don't worry, billy.

We're gonna get you out of
there.

Bring back pretzels!

Howya doing, there?

'Bout time you got here.

So... You're here for the
walruses, right?

[Growling]
uh... No.

Oh.

We've been all over town
looking for a mickey munchle

Baseball card.

Boy, is there egg on my face.

Yeah, I have a mickey munchle
card right here.

We'll take it in exchange for
a truckload of supernatural

Wonders.

Um...

And by truckload of
supernatural wonders, I mean a

Bucket full of chewable
vitamins.

Once I get my magical scythe
back from the talking tree, I

Can get you a wonder or two.

I swear.

Look, little lady.

I can't sell you the card.

And it's not because it's worth
$11 million.

It's because it's all that I
have left of my baseball career.

Wait a minute.

Hey, grim.

Maybe I don't need my scythe
anymore.

With you, I could knock souls
right out of the park.

Grim!

I think I know how to solve our
problem.

Who does he look like?

He looks like an alien
wearing human skin so that he

Can fool us into buying
collectibles and games that will

Implant tiny tracking chips in
our fingers.

No.

He's mickey munchle.

Oh, I know.

I'm just messing with you.

I thought I should say something
stupid since billy ain't here.

Mr. Munchle, all we need is a
few moments of your time.

Well, you're back.

Did you get me the card?

Did you one better, man.

Meet mickey munchle himself.

Aah!

Golly, you really are a
talking tree.

Oh... [Giggling]
he's talking to me.

Oh, I feel so excited, i...

[Burping]
eewww!

[Coughs]
eeh!

Me scythe!

Daddy's got you, jodi!

Shh.

Now it's time to reclaim my
rightful place as king of the

Ring!

Closure.

It's all about closure.

My precious.

Precious.

Now you're home.

So, I hear you're a huge fan.

Well...
[Stuttering] [burping]

Captain fat-head!

I'll never let you go again.

And that's how we learned our
lesson.

Which was...?

Never trust baseball players.

Hey, it ain't so bad in here.

I'll make sure you feel right
at home.

There's just one thing.

You don't mind squirrels, do
you?

Ha, I love squirrels.

[Growling]
[screaming]

Aah!

[Buzzing]