05x08 - Billy & Mandy vs. The Martians

[bunniefuu]

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

If stupidity got us into this
mess, why can't it get us out?

Hey, mandy.

Like the catapult I built?

Not particularly.

With it, I will lay siege to
your heart, storm the parapets

Of your golden locks, and rescue
you from the dragon that is

Your resistance to my charms,
yo.

Ew.

I swear by the fire that
burns in my belly, I will kiss

You one day, woman!

Why do I live here?

Ha ha ha!

Again, gain, gain, gain!

[Whistling]
my dad loves watermelon.

Uhh!

Who did that?

We've run out of stuff to
sh**t.

No, we haven't.

Aah!

[Glass breaking]

I broke my glasses, yo.

More, more!

More, more, more, more, more!

The holy grail.

Merlin's underwear.

Billy, you need to clean
your...

Medusa's head.

Fancy jake!

You're grim's favorite childhood
toy.

You love the catapult.

Stop complaining.

I'll be back to reap you when I
get the gum off me scythe.

No!

Aah!

[Squeaking]
why do I live here?

How could you do this to me?

What are you talking about?

Fancy jake was me favorite
toy.

He was me best friend!

[Sobbing]

You could tie his shoelaces and

Button his overalls.

You had to.

He... He couldn't do it himself.

[Sobbing loudly]

Get a grip, grim.

This time you've gone too
far.

If you hadn't won me in that
accursed game of limbo, I would

Be so out of here.

What a pleasant coincidence.

I came here to talk to you about
that particular game of limbo.

The game was binding.

No court on earth could overturn
that decision.

Not even in los angeles.

You're absolutely right.

It is binding, as long as all
parties remain together on

Earth.

I love earth.

I'll never be free.

On earth.

If you leave earth, you don't
have to be their friend.

Use this when your bags are
packed.

Sorry, little girl.

You lose.

I never lose.

You just did.

You kids ruined half of me
bed knobs and all of me

Broomsticks.

Please don't go!

I loves you!

I mean it!

I know that sometimes my love
might seem like a joke.

It's not... A joke!

Blast it, boy.

I told you to stop watching
those soap operas.

You know this means you can't
come back.

Oh, that's a pity.

No!

No!

No!

No!

N-no!

No!

Aah!

It's been fun.

Not.

No!

He's out of the will.

Hey, he forgot his trunk.

Grim belongs to us.

I don't know [indistinct] he is,
but grim is mine.

I don't lose.

Are you sure this is good
idea?

It's a lot bigger on the
inside.

Ah, here it is.

Quiet.

Quickly, before those jerks
realize we're here.

This trunk will fit in with
the best modern furnishings...

On mars.

[Gasp]
I can't believe it.

Me, neither.

I had no idea a trunk was
considered a furnishing.

[Jazz music playing]

My name is morg.

I'm the martian grim reaper.

Welcome to the party ship.

[Sigh]
brains.

I am emperor of mars.

Wow!

That is totally awesome.

Oh, it gets even better.

On mars, we have an entire
planet full of zombies to cater

To our every whim!

Brains.

Ok, here's the plan.

Mandy!

The air is invigorating!

Mandy, take my hand!

No.

I know where that thing's been.

These could be our last
moments!

Is there anything you'd like to
do?

I'd like to puke.

Aah!

It's a nasa mars probe.

Can you imagine the odds of
this happening?

I can't believe we came out
of that intact, yo.

Ow!
Yay!

Let's hear it for nasa.

You people are the real heroes.

Can it, billy.

We've got monster trouble.

Oh.

I thought you were gonna point
at that one.

[Gasp]
[growling]

Your life with those kids
sounds like a real downer.

It was wrong of them to boss you
around.

Oh, not to mention punch me,
kick me, and set me on fire.

You should've bossed them
around.

Yeah!

You should boss around all
humans.

Yeah!
Let's do it!

Yeah!
What?

I want to show you something.

I have all this military
surplus just lying around going

To waste.

Let's go conquer earth.

I don't know.

They're practically asking
for it.

But things are pretty sweet
here, and it seems like an awful

Lot of work.

Listen, grim.

You are not going to get any
respect unless you conquer

Something.

If you conquer earth, humans
would be forced to love and

Respect you.

I need to think about it.

Can you hear that, grim?

It's billy and mandy.

They're laughing at you.

"Grim could never conquer earth.

He couldn't even win a game of
limbo.

He's more like a pet than a
friend."

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Let's do it.

I can't believe he ate the
whole zombie!

26 Times!

Your name will be admiral
wolverine lightning bolt, 'cause

Those are the 3 coolest words in
the universe!

[Coughing]
[gagging]

Brains.

Let's move.

I don't trust this morg guy.

Behold!

The ultimate earth-conquering
weapon... The braincaster!

Zombies must be fed brains
because brains are full of

Distracting thoughts like, "did
I turn off the oven?" Or "where

Are my spaceship keys?"
These thoughts keep a zombie

Mind occupied for hours and
allow us to control their every

Action.

How does it...
Please hold all questions

Until the end.

The braincaster is the future of
mind control!

Ok, I'm finished.

How does it work?

I'll explain on the ship.

Invasion starts in an hour.

If you want to listen to any
mp3s during the overthrow, just

Download them into the ship's
computer.

We live in 5 minutes.

Grim, you have to come back.

Get off this planet and stop
following me.

I'm doing this because I hate
you.

You ruined my life.

[Sobbing]
wuss.

Whoa!

Look at this place.

Hey!

This isn't codename: kids next
door.

Aah!

It's just as mesmerizing,
though.

As you can see... Aah!

Thank you, john.

As you can see, the martians
have attacked.

This just in.

The president has declared a
state of national pants-wetting.

Now you can get together with
your friends and family and play

Shepherd and the lonely sheep.

It's baa-baa fun.

Earth has officially been
conquered by mars.

In this reporter's humble
opinion, we were asking for it.

We now bring you the martian
leaders with their demands.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Things couldn't be better
since we were enslaved.

Brains.

And now feeling the pulse of
the general public, we go to

Crack reporter cindy scratch n'
sniff.

Cindy?

Thanks, cleat.

I'm here with billy's dad, who
has just had his brain sucked

Out.

So, billy's dad, how's it feel?

Having my brain sucked out
for morg's brain farm has really

Changed my life.

Every day is a dream when you
leave the thinking to morg and

Grim.

Ok. There you have it.

Ha ha ha!

This isn't happening!

This can't be how it ends!

Mandy, you can make it all
better, right?

Relax, billy.

I'll save the earth.

But first we've got to find a
way off this dump.

Phase one of operation earth
is complete.

It is time for phase two.

The braincaster?

Brains?

Brains!

Ahem.

Brains!

Yes, the braincaster.

I knew there was a reason I
selected you to help me take

Over the earth.

With our combined supernatural
powers, the braincaster will...

Brains!

Will act like a radio
antenna.

We need to find a living subject
with a hideously stupid brain.

This brain will broadcast
distracting thoughts to all of

Our zombies and keep them in a
permanent state of mind control.

So, whose brain do we use?

We need a perfect test
subject.

A human with a brain so full of
stupid thoughts that it could

Power the braincaster forever!

Billy!
Who's billy?

The boy you rescued me from.

Oh, he'll turbo-charge this
thing.

Grim, those little punks are
zombie chow by now.

Besides, you don't want to be
hanging out with those slobs

When you got a real friend like
me.

Yeah, I guess.

Uh, you guys?

Are we sure that admiral
wolverine lightning bolt only

Eats zombies?

Actually, I think he still
has indigestion from the last

Batch.

[Burp]
ha ha ha ha!

Quiet, numbskulls.

We've got to be careful so the
guards won't see us.

Look!
Astronauts!

Ha ha ha!

Awesome spacesuits!

I always wanted to be an
astronaut or a cowboy.

A singing cowboy who flies
spaceships and ropes doggies and

Eats beans and...
Brains!

Whoa!

I said beans, not brains!

I believe I'm double-parked.

Brains.

This is a waste of time,
morg.

You'll never find someone with a
brain as messed up as billy's.

Oh, grim.

If you don't stop going on and
on about those children, I'm

Gonna start thinking you
actually enjoyed being pushed

Around by them.

No way.

Not after what they did to fancy
jake.

Look, why don't we take a
break?

Maybe play a board game.

Ah!

I've never played a board game
where billy didn't stick all the

Pieces up his nose.

They're in the chamber next
to the door marked "forbidden."

Oh, this is so exciting.

Well, what do you know?

My favorite.

What the heck is all this?

It looks like someone's ashes.

The venusian reaper.

Disintegrated for failure to
cooperate.

Venusian reaper?

The mercury reaper.

Vaporized for attempting to
flee.

The uranus reaper.

Terminated for failure to clean
up after self.

Does "forbidden" not mean the
same thing on your planet as it

Does on mine?

What is all this?

All what?

All this.

I don't know.

But it's on your spaceship.

I'm holding it for someone
else?

I want to know what happened
to all these other reapers...

Mercury, venus, uranus.

[Chuckling]
you think this is funny?

No, no, no.

It's just that word makes me
laugh.

What word?
Mercury?

Venus?

Uranus?

Ha ha ha!

He said "uranus."

There's nothing funny about
uranus.

Ha ha ha ha!

You still haven't explained
what happened to the other

Reapers.

They disintegrated.

Complete accidents, every one.

But hey, not to worry.

We've upgraded the ship's safety
features since then, and

Besides, you're better than all
those other reapers put

Together.

So we're cool, right?

We're cool.
Cool?

Cool.

Aah!
Irwin.

Irwin!
Shut off the waterworks.

They can't suck his brain out.

It's impossible.

I know that, mandy!

I'm not crying because of billy!

I'm crying 'cause I got this
alien parasite on my butt!

Brains!

I guess my brain is too big
to suck out.

Hee hee hee hee!

Hey, wait a minute.

You guys are zombies!

Aah!

Wait for me!

Give it your best shot, you
freak.

I've been trained to resist.

You won't get bupkis out of me.

Oh, I'll get bupkis,
mr. Delgado.

I'll get bupkis!

Man, I have got pretty teeth.

We interrupt this braincast
for this special bulletin.

We have received a signal from
alpha base on mars.


Have stolen a saucer and have

Set their course for planet
earth.

Are we there yet?

Don't make me pull this thing
over.

You!

But I thought... But how?

I'll destroy them!

I'll disintegrate them all.

No.

On second thought, let them
land.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ok.

We're all back on earth.

Endsville!

Just like I remembered...

Except it smells better.

Kind of like roasted wienies.

And all those dumb old buildings
are gone.

And there are zombies.

Zombies!

Aah!

Brains!

Aah!

I'm thinking of a number
between 1 and 10.

Well, little girl, it appears
that you lose again.

You've delivered the perfect
idiot to power my braincaster.

The universe will soon be mine,
and you and your little friend

Will cease to exist!

Ha ha ha ha!

Grim's not going to like that
plan.

Grim won't know until it's
too late!

Ha ha ha!

[Coughing]
grim, I order you to stop

Taking over the world.

Grim!

I'm thinking of an animal.

I can't believe after all
that's happened, you two still

Haven't figured out why I can't
stand being around you.

Mandy, you're still a bossy
little brat.

And, billy, you're still a
mindless dope.

Yeah.

Hee hee hee!

You see, grim?

These aren't your friends.

They only want to use you.

Yo, yo, yo, scary guy.

How about a pit stop?

My thoughts exactly.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, I get it.

Aah!

Oy!
Flesh!

Aah!

Aah!

I saved you.

I guess that makes me a hero.

[Roaring]
aah!

Oh, how come I always get eaten?

Take it easy.

You'll get indigestion.

[Roaring]
hello, billy.

You know this whole taking over
the earth thing is nothing

Personal.

I'd just like to be in charge
for once.

Grim, I know mandy's so mean
and irwin's so needy, but that's

Just who they are.

Sometimes our best friends are
people we really don't like.

Then you guys must be my best
friends ever.

Hee hee!

Well, if there's anything I've
learned from destroying fancy

Jake and stowing away in your
trunk to mars and returning in

A last-ditch effort to save the
planet is that you can pick your

Friends and you can pick your
nose, but you can't pick your

Friend's nose.

You have to let them be who they
are and pick it themselves.

What have I done?

Bring me back an ice cream.

Brains!

Just look at all those
zombies.

Sic 'em, boy.

Brains!

Time to bug out.

I was wondering when you'd show
up.

Look out!

Brains!

There's too many of them!

We'd better run for it!

Brains!

Say good-bye to your little
friends.

Ha ha ha ha!

I like pie.

Ha ha ha!

Cow pie!

I knew you'd come back to us,
grim.

I'm not coming back.

I'm just sick of zombies is all.

Brains!

Looks like I picked the wrong
place to start getting sick of

Zombies.

It can't end this way.

Tell that to the zombies.

Brains.

Brains!

Brains!

Brains!

Brains, brains, brains, brains.

Cow pies, cow pies, cow pies,
cow pies.

No, no, no!

You're supposed to destroy them,
not put on a show!

No, no, no.

Make them attack, you fool!

What's wrong with this thing?

Ugh!

Mmm.

My mouth tastes like brains.

What's going on?

Looks to me like billy's
stupid brain broke your stupid

Machine.

Huh?

You!

But how?

Grim!

I hope you realize that you will
have to spend eternity with

These wretched little children.

Like being bossed around by
you is any better.

So what should we do with him?

Maybe you should make him
your minion, grim.

Oh, I've always wanted a
minion.

Ooh, a button!

Your minion?

Ha!

Aah!

I'll get you for this!

Or we could just sh**t him
into the atmosphere and let the

Ozone layer take care of him.

Ruff!

You won't get rid of me that
easily, you twerps.

Ha ha ha!

Well, not that morg is gone,
it looks like I'm stuck on earth

With you two again.

Stuck like a booger on the
wall!

I can't believe it's over.

I can.

This is how it's supposed to
end.

I win.

Admiral wolverine lightning
bolt!

Where have you been?

Dad, this is my space dog...
Admiral wolverine lightning

Bolt.
He followed me home from mars.

Can I keep him, huh?

Can i, can I keep him, can i,
huh?

You'll have to ask your
mother.

She didn't say no!

Well, I suppose I owe you one
for not enslaving humanity,

Grim.

How about I do the dishes
tonight?

That's all I ever wanted to
hear.

You're kidding, right?
Uh-huh.

So whatever happened to
irwin?

Here I am.

Ew!

But I saw the beetle swallow
you.

How did you escape?

Don't think about it too
hard, yo.

Ew.

Ha ha ha ha!

[Groaning]
I feel like I just ate a

Quarter ton of raw meat, went
into a coma for 6 days, and fell

Out of a moving vehicle into a
pile of vomit.

That's exactly what happened,
yo, except it's only been an

Hour.

Dude, you've got something on
your face.

What's that you say?

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

[Roaring]
tastes like chicken.