03x13 - Daffy Duck: Motivational Guru/The Towering Hamsterno

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Today is the day,
I finally get the
confidence I need.

No more being
a spineless weakling for me.

Hey! Watch
where you're going, pal.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm such a clumsy bumbler.

This is exactly why
I need to take this
confidence building seminar.

But I can't seem to find it.

Those things never work.

You might as well
throw your money
in the garbage.

Well, it'd have to be
a really big trash can.

(DING)

Never mind what I just said.

You know that seminar
you were looking for?

- You've found it!
- Whoa!

DAFFY: Ladies and Gentlemen,

the moment you've all
been waiting for.

Confidence, yes!

(ELMER CLAPPING)

My name's Daffy Duck

and I am your
motivational speaker.

For my first exercise,

I'm gonna need a volunteer.

It's gonna be you, pal.
You're the only one here.

(INSECTS CHIRPING)

Oh?

(HESITANT) I don't know,
Mr. Duck.

Oh, don't be nervous.

Just ignore the audience.

Pretend they're
in their underpants.

But there's no one out there.

Then pretend
I'm in my underpants.

Because I am.

Actually they're yours.
Don't ask me how.

Confidence!

I'm so confused.

Do you trust me?

Great! Trust fall time.

Just turn around
and fall backwards.
And I'll catch you.

I'm a little nervous.
But, okay.

-(BIRD SINGING)
- Hey, look at that
blue-footed booby.

-(THUD)
- Oops.

Let's try this again.

-(ELMER GRUNTS)
- Sun was in my eyes.

(DAFFY YAWNING)
(ELMER GRUNTS)

I didn't know you were going.
Wait until I say, "ready."

- Okay, I'm ready.
- Ow.

Sorry, my mind wandered.

That's to save you
the trouble of falling.

Okay, no more!

You haven't caught me once.

Oh!

That's because
you haven't gone high enough.

The higher you are,
the more confidence
you'll build.

(CRYING)

Oh?

Now trust and fall.

Oh, I'm scared!

Just remember to breathe.

Breathe in for 3 seconds.
(INHALES)

(INHALING)

Hold for 18 seconds.

Now release for half a second.

Now quickly breathe in.

Out, in, in, in.

-Out, in, out, in, out.
-(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SCREAMING)

(DAFFY SCREAMS)

Feeling more confident?

- Not really.
- Well, I am.

Can you see yourself
climbing over this wall?

-(EAGLE SCREAMING)
- ELMER: This wall?

No way!

Well, how about now?

Now? Now,
I can't see anything.

Exactly! Confidence
is not about what you see.

But what you feel.

Now feel that wall
and climb it.

I'll try.

What if I told you that
there was a hungry bear
on stage?

And only safe place
is at the top of that wall.

Well, that would certainly
make me want to--

(GROWLING)

-(ELMER PANTING)
-(DAFFY LAUGHING)

I'm just joking, boss.

There's no bear down here.

But there is one up there.

-(BEAR GROWLING)
-(ELMER SCREAMS)

DAFFY: Figure out a way down.

You feeling confident, yes?

-(BEAR GROWLING)
- Confident
I'm gonna get mauled.

That makes two of us.
Whoo-hoo.

(ELMER SCREAMING)

You feel confident now?

- Uh, no.
- Perfect.

Then you are really ready
for your final

confidence boosting exercise.

The fire walk!

No, I'm good.

(SCREAMING)

DAFFY: Mind plus body
divided by soul

minus the square root
of science

equals confidence!

Ooh, ow. Is the fire
really necessary?

You need this first walk
to help you merge

you mind, body,
science and soul

for the ultimate state
of confidence.

(SCREAMING)

-(ELMER PANTING)
- It's a technique I picked up

from my study of philosophy
at Oxbreath University.

Go Tadpoles!

We were on a
humanitarian trip
to Papa New Ginny.

And it was fair.

On the cliffs overlooking
the raging waters
of the Tanzanite River,

I married my science and soul,

to my mind and body.

Right there on the...
(CRYING) Excuse me.

I always get chocked up here.

(DEEP BREATH)

(SCREAMING VIGOROUSLY)

It was easily
the most beautiful--

Enough!

Now, listen here,
you silly duck!

I don't know what trust falls,

blindfolded bears
and super hot treadmills

have to do with
me having confidence.

(SLOW CLAPS)

Well, well, well.

Look who finally stood up
for himself.

And with confidence.

Good job, Leroy.
I think our work here is done.

See you back at the lodge.

Get yourself a salmon
and put it on my tab.

Oh, boy. I did it.
I really did it.

I'm finally confident.

You sure are, champ.

Which is why
I'm gonna give you

a special "Confidence, yes!"
bonus lesson.

How to talk to ladies.

Huh? (GULPING)

Ladies? Oh, boy!

Gee, I smell pretty.

I mean, you.
You smell pretty.

(CHUCKLING)
Oh, cheese and biscuits!

(THUD)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(SWOOSH)
(CRASHING)

Nice of you
to finally make it,

Agent Claudette.

Ah. Sorry, I'm late.

I was on a date
with my boyfriend.

You have a boyfriend?

Yes, I have a boyfriend.

Well, there's a new man
in your life.

And he's an evil genius.

This is Hans Hamster.

You will give me
a gazillion dollars in cash,

or I will blow
this building to smithereens.

(EVIL LAUGH)
(THUD)

Crepes Suzette!

The hamsters have taken over
this building?

That's right! And it's
up to you to stop them.

The fate of the city hangs
in the balance.

(SCOFFS) Oui.

So does my romantic life.

Little do they know
that the ransom is

just a small screen
for our real plan.

To take over the world.

Chow Chow,
hack into the mainframe

of the building's
communication antenna.

Tassels,
man the security cameras.

But I am Chow Chow
and he is Tassels.

What happened
to the name tags
I gave to all of you?

-(DING)
- Going up?

Le Pew. (SCOFFS) Tell me
you're not on this mission.

I am not on this mission.

Kidding, I am.

Boss, we've got company.

So, the fox
is in the hamster house.

Strike team, move out.

(ALL CHEWING)

Stop chewing on the curtains
and go get them.

This is my operation

- and I'm going to
do it by myself.
-(ELEVATOR DINGS)

On second thought,
I could actually
use a little help.

(YELLING)

Reunited and
it feels so good, no?

(HAMSTERS SCREAMING)

-(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
- Huh, what is this?

I cannot talk now.

What is that thing?

Are you getting many texts?

Do you have a boyfriend?

So what if I do?

It is none of your business.

Ha, two can play at this game.

Look, I am now
text messaging my girlfriend.

This text says
your dry cleaning is done.

Okay, I do not have
a girlfriend.

I am just crazy jealous,
right now.

Oh, schnitzel.

Time to send in
the real sauerkraut.

Come in, Claus! Wait,

why isn't this thing working?

Who's been nibbling
on the radio cord?

-(CRASHING)
-(SQUEAKS)

Looks like your date
has arrived.

Then it is up to me
to take him out.

Ayah!

Now, I'm really in the belly
of the beast.

Looks like we have company.

(HAMSTERS SQUEALING)

(BANG)

It appears my date got
carried away.

(CLAUDETTE GRUNTS)

As they say in basket ball,

nothing but net.

Let us out of here.

I'm afraid I cannot do that,
you see.

We are about to
take over the world.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
my cute stare.

Look into my eyes.

See how adorable
and cuddly I am.

You are powerless to resist.

I am powerless to resist.

Le Pew is much too strong
for your hamster mind tricks.

Oh, really? Untie his ropes.

Le Pew, cluck like a chicken.

Cluck. Le cluck.

HANS: Dump garbage
over your head.

Do a song and dance.

♪ Alouette, gentille alouette

♪ Alouette, je te plumerai ♪

He's totally under my control.

Tassels, turn on the cameras.

We are going live.

You have to snap out of it.

Why do I always
have to save the day?

(SIGHS) Hey, hamsters!

This net is...

So tasty.

♪ Alouette, gentille alouette

- I'm free!
-♪ Alouette, je te plumerai

♪ Je te plumerai la tete

♪ Je te plumerai la tete ♪

The things I do
for my country!

Ummaah.

(EXPRESSES DISGUST)

Mademoiselle,
you surprise me.

Your boyfriend
will be touched jealous.

As your girlfriend will
still be non-existent.

LE PEW: Le ouch.

(PHONE RINGING)

Look into my eyes.

You will stop trying
to arrest us.

And do silly dance moves.

No arrest.

Silly dance moves.

(SCATTING)

(EVIL LAUGH)

-(POWER DRAINS)
- What the?

What has happened
to the signal?

Huh? What happened?

Boss, they cut the
communication line.

Sorry, but your little game
of trance is over.

(SCOFFS) You've forgotten,
Le Pew,

I've wired the entire building

with dynamite.

Um, should they be chewing
on those wires?

Huh? You fools!

You'll blow us all
to smithereens!

Sounds like out cue to leave.

Quick, hold on to me.

I will and I will
never let go.

(CLAUDETTE SCOFFS)

Le phew.

I will have my revenge.

Who wants to run
on a hamster wheel?

No, you fools!

(SHOUTING) I'm powerless
to resist!

Hamsters, they like
to keep it wheel.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)