03x28 - Smoothie Operator/Slugsworthy's Slop House

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

We want spinach, mango,
wheatgrass, oh,

and extra cheese.
Yeah, yeah.

(WHIRRING)

Here you go.

Wow. You could really taste
the wheatgrass.

What can I get
for you, Sniffles?
Same thing?

I can't have wheatgrass.
I'm allergic.

I'm also allergic to pollen,
dust mites, asparagus,

some types of door knobs,
paper clips, shag carpeting,

Formica tables
and 1980's dance music.

Hey, you can't have
a smoothie stand here.

Why not?

'Cause I just opened
a smoothie stand, here.

Now get lost, rodents.

(ALL EXCLAIM AND GRUNT)

That big meanie
destroyed our smoothie stand.

It's time to call Dark Bat.

Dark Bat? You mean,
the greatest superhero
of all time?

That's right.
Oh, I'm-- (STAMMERING)

Okay, while you do that
I... I, uh... Gotta go make
a nut loaf.

Now?

So long!

Weird kid.

Let's call Dark Bat.

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

(HORN BLARES)

DARK BAT: Did somebody
call me?

Eh, it's just Sniffles
in a bat costume.

Where's the nut loaf?

Oops.

Never fear, Dark Bat is here.

Dark Bat...

This terrible bully
destroyed our smoothie stand.

And we need your help
to get it back.

He's over there.

HUBIE : At that
big smoothie store.

That juice maker
is about to get squeezed.

Time for a nice, refreshing,
Yosemite Sam-oothie.

All I need are some apples,

peaches, mangoes,
oops, mangoes,

and some ice and I'm good to--

Hey, where did
all my ingredients go?

Looking for these?

What the-- Who are you?

The name's Dark Bat.

A lone crusader

with an insatiable thirst
for justice.

I fight for those
who cannot fight
for themselves, like mice,

squirrels and plankton.

Whales eat them!

And they're next on my list!

Put my fruit down, Dork Bat.

(GROANS)
It's Dark Bat.

And I guess
I'm the apple of your eye.

You crazy varmint!

It takes two to mango.

Papa don't peach.

(GRUNTING)

(SPUTTERING)

So, you're a bat, huh?

Well, I got a bat too.

A baseball bat! (GRUNTS)

Strike one, strike two,
ball four,

three up, three down,
tie goes to the runner
and you're out!

Now, take a seat on the bench.
(PANTING)

(EXCLAIMS)
(GLASS BREAKING)

Whoa.
(SIZZLES)

Ah! Hot, hot, hot, hot--

Don't worry.
I'll help cool you off.
(THUDS)

(SCREAMING) Too cold,
too cold, too cold.

This hot sauce
should warm you up.

(GURGLES)
Too hot, too hot, too hot.

Here, this frozen smoothie
ought to do the trick.

(SLURPING) Ah! Brain freeze.

Too cold, too cold,
too cold, too cold.

Looks like you could
use a little sun.

Ah! Too hot, too hot,
too hot, too hot.

Hang on. This compost
should even it out.

(SIGHING) Just right.

Oh, look at this mess.

Guess we should clean up
with my patented
Dark Bat floor cleaner.

Wash your floors,
clean up dirt,
grime and crime.

All for only 19 dollars
and 99 cents.

Never waste your
old bad guys again.

Guaranteed to get out
the toughest stains.

Call now. And they are easy
to ring out and re-use.

It's economically safe
and justice approved.

Ooh! I got a really good idea

on how to get rid
of this varmint.

(SCREAMING)

(CRASHES)

Let's see if you can outrun
my rocket powered motorcycle.

(ENGINE REVVING)

(LAUGHING)

Have a seat.
Oh, no.

I'm trapped in this
room temperature
agave nectar.

Say your prayers, varmint.

Trapped like a rat,
dressed as a bat.

Time to turn over a new leaf.

(CRASHING)

See, kids?
Vegetables are good for you.

The mouse gets the cheese

but the bat
gets the motorcycle.

(ENGINE REVS)

(GROANING)

Ooh! If I see that flying rat
one more time--

DARK BAT: Make way.
Coming through.

DARK BAT: On your left.
(SPUTTERS) Whoa!

(YOSEMITE SCREAMING)

Now, that's how
to wheel the deal.

BOTH: Yay.

You did it, Dark Bat.

And as a token
of our appreciation,
here's a smoothie.

(GULPING) Ah.

You can really taste
the wheatgrass.

(GULPS)
And I'm allergic
to wheatgrass.

(DARK BAT SCREAMING)
Dark Bat, away!

Hey, guys. I'm done
with my nut loaf.

Sniffles, where have you been?

You just missed Dark Bat
save the day.

Yeah, yeah.

Dark Bat was here?

Oh, man. I must've been
so busy making this nut loaf

that I didn't notice.

Can you imagine Sniffles
trying to rescue us?

He couldn't rescue
a teddy bear from a toddler.

(LAUGHING) Yeah, yeah, right.

You're right.
I couldn't rescue you.

(IN DEEP VOICE)
But Dark Bat could.
Ooh! Ow!

That's one hot nut loaf.

BUGS: This restaurant
looks as good as any.

SQUEAKS: Look there.

BUGS: An open parking spot,
right in front.

You snooze, you lose.

BUGS: Hey,
what's the big idea?

Me first! (LAUGHS)
Me first.

BUGS: The nerve of that guy.
Can you believe him?

I mean, clearly I was waiting
to park there.

Oh, it's you.

Welcome to Slugsworthy Slop House.

We'd like a table
for two, please.

Sure, we can seat you
anywhere you like.

Open seating.

Great. How about that booth
in the corner?

That's reserved.

Hmm. Okay, how about
that nice table
in the middle, there?

Reserved.

Well, how about that table
in the back?

It's also reserved.

I thought you said
it was open seating.

It is.
And I have the perfect spot.

Here you go.

This table's between
the kitchen
and the bathroom.

I know, right?

So many great aromas.

Your waiter
will be here shortly.

(THUD, THUD)

Are you guys ready to order?

You're our waiter, too?

This is my restaurant.
I do it all.

Now, what can I get you?

Uh, let's see.

I'll have
the "wambo mambo hit me
with a slambo" garden salad.

Yeah, make it two.

Excellent choices.
Coming right up.

(THUD)

If the food
is half as flavorful
as the names,

we should be okay.

(THUD)

Okay, here you go.

Mmm...
Oh!

(GOBBLES, SLURPS)

Oh, that hit the spot.

What're you doing?
That was our food.

This is my restaurant.

So I eat the food first.

(WHIMPERING)

I just said, "Me first!"

(GULPING)

That's ridiculous.

In fact, delicious.

(BURPS)

(SIGHS)

Did you two save any room
for me to eat your desert?

Save any room?
There's no food on the table.

Oh, you're done already?

Well, then. Here's your bill.

It's been
an absolute pleasure
serving you today.

What? A bill?

I'm not paying.

Well, that's unfortunate.

It's time for the chef
to be tossed.

Sulgsworthy's order is up.

(GOBBLING)

I hope you're enjoying
your time here.

(IN A BRITISH ACCENT)
Who is responsible
for this train wreck?

Wait, I know you.

You're world-famous chef,
Random Gorsey.

That I am.

And this restaurant looks
like a Halloween party

threw up in a junkyard.

I can't imagine what horrors
I will find in the kitchen.

Disgusting.

I've seen rest-stop bathrooms
cleaner than this.

These pots
and pans are filthy.

(CLANGING)

Good gravy.

That's the most vile fryer
that I've ever seen.

Yeah, it's also the biggest.

Oh, well, we'll just see
about that.

Now, that's a jumbo,
jumbo shrimp.

Bring me a pool
of c*ck sauce.

All right. Now, let's see
how grotesque your
walk-in freezer is.

Wait, me first.

Wow, that was easier
than I thought.

Now, you've gone and done it.

You can't serve frozen food.

I think I've seen enough.

Oh, you lingering lump of...
(CONTINUES MUTTERING)

(ICE BREAKING)

Mr. Gorsey? Mr. Gorsey?

Eh, what's up, Doc?

I thought I kicked you
out of here.

You did. But we came back
to challenge you.

In what?

The Slugsworthy
super stupendous

slophouse challenge.
Huh?

Ta-da.

(LAUGHS)

You wanna take me on?
(GRUNTS)

Nobody has ever beaten me
at a slophouse challenge.

Well, there's first time
for everything.

Oh, you're on.

I'll go first.

No way. I go first.

I go first.

I go first,
'cause I always go first,

'cause Slugsworthy
always goes first!

First, first, first.

So, you wanna go second?

SLUGSWORTHY: Me first!

(ALARMS BLARING)

Okay, go first.

Let's start.

All right. Five minutes
on the clock.

Squeaks, bring out the food.

First course, appetizers.

And go.
And go.

BUGS: We've got poppers,
corn poppers,
jalapeno poppers,

yard poppers, soda poppers,
comet poppers...

We've got skins, tater skins,
sweet potato skins, drum
skins, shirts and skins...

Now the entree, skirt steak,
round steak, fudge steak,
claim your steak...

(GULPING)

What? The kitchen
is out of food?

Ah, yes!

I went first and I ate...

...all the food.
(GROANS)

Which means
I win the challenge.

Actually, looks like
we have one wafer-thin
mint for you to eat.

No. No, I... I can't.

I'm too full.

You can eat it.

It's one little,

tiny mint.

Okay. (BURPING)
Okay, I'll try.

(GROANS)

(STOMACH GROWLS)
(EXPLODES)

(CRYING)

That's the problem
with going first.

You never have room
for seconds.

(SWALLOWS) I win.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)