03x32 - Thomas Fuddison/Hiccups and Downs

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

Oh, boy,
I sure do love inventing.

Good thing I'm the world's
greatest inventor,
Thomas Fuddison.

(CHUCKLES)

Ooh, that science fair
had some rough competition.

(PICTURE SQUEAKS)

Once my new
lab assistant arrives,

we can get to work on
finishing my
latest invention,

- the incandescent light bulb,
patent pending.
-(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Oh, that must be him now.

-(GROANS)
- Huh?

This isn't the
public restroom.

(MUFFLED)
I'm under the door!

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS) Are you
my new lab assistant?

Uh, what exactly does
a lab assistant do?

They help me use all my
cool machinery and test out
my amazing inventions.

Well, then, yes,
I am definitely
your new lab assistant.

Now, let's get
our inventing on.

Okay, then follow me.

As you can see, my lab is
impressive and my inventions
are amazing.

Ooh!

ELMER: And once I finish the
incandescent light bulb,

- I'll even be more famous.
- Huh?

-(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)
-(EXCLAIMS)

Ooh!

(GIBBERS)

Cool.

Let me show you
how great I am.

Oopsie.

Oh, what was that?

I think it was a bolt.

A lightning bolt inside?

No, it was a metal bolt
I shot at you.

Hey, what's that behemoth?

Oh, that's the
Fuddigraph machine.

It records sound and voices
and plays it back.

Oh, like a parrot.

No, not like a parrot.

Here, I'll show you.

(CLEARS THROAT)

The rain in Spain
falls mainly on the plain.

(DRUMS PLAYING)

(BABBLING)

Rock and roll!
(SCREAMING)

Hey, what are you doing?

Inventing the drum solo.

It'll give concert-goers
a chance

to take a bathroom break
for years to come.

Ooh.

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, it's one of those
newfangled fruit smashers.

Stop! Don't do that.
That's my lunch!

And this is my
Fuddger machine.

It takes moving pictures
and records your
physical movements.

- Here, I'll show you.
- Nah, I'm good.

Come on, I'll show you.

Stand behind the camera
and record me.

Oi!

-(FILM REEL WHIRRING)
-(VAUDEVILLE MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS) Boring!

I know how to
spice this puppy up.
(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS) My lunch!

Oh, ah, ow!

- Ow!
-(RATS SQUEAKING)

My labs rats
are biting me.

Why labs rats, why?

I've done nothing but conduct
scientific experiments on you.

-(CRASHING)
-(SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

(THUDDING)

Cut and print.

Thomas, baby, you were great.

You'll be walking
the red carpet come
award season, that's for sure.

Will you knock it off?

We have to work on
my latest invention,
the incandescent light bulb.

- So come on.
- Hmm.

(DAFFY SQUEAKING)

Looks like you
already invented it.

I did, but I don't know
how to generate enough power
to keep it lit.

- I need to invent
a power source.
- Hmm.

I know what
powers my source.

Black beans!

Don't mind if I do.

You nincompoop!
That's one of my inventions.

Let me guess,
it's called black Fudderbeans?

No, it's synthetic rubber.

Synthetic rubber?

Cool!

- Hey, give me that ball.
- You mean this ball?

Yes, that ball.

Here you go.

- Eh...
-(GROANS)

(GRUNTING)

(BABBLING)

(GROANS)

I invent the crossover juggle,
the behind the back pass,

and the slam dunk.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you basketball.

(GROANING)

Oh, no! The magnetic iron ore
separator, it's starting!

-(STRAINING)
- Yeesh!

(WHISPERS) This isn't
going to be pretty.

(ELMER SCREAMS)

ELMER: Leave my light bulbs
alone, you screwy duck!

(YELLING ANGRILY)

-(GRUNTS)
-(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

(DAFFY LAUGHING)

(GRUNTING ANGRILY)

(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)

Hey, my light bulb,
it's glowing!

Is that what we're
supposed to be doing?

Yes, I'm the power source.

But how are we
going to present this?

Leave it to me, old chum.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you

the latest invention
from the
Fuddison-Duck laboratory,

the incandescent light bulb.

AUDIENCE: Ooh! Aah!

(PANTING)

They love it. We're a hit!

That's great.

You know, they say genius

is 1% inspiration
and 99% perspiration.

Speaking of perspiration,
you-reek-a!

Make sure you
don't get sunburned, Porky.

(STAMMERING) Don't worry,
I put on sunscreen.

Good, because last time
you didn't

and the neighbor stuck
an apple in your mouth
and tried to have a luau.

And I don't want to get caught
in the middle of... (HICCUPS)

Oh, no. (HICCUPS)

I got the (HICCUPS) hiccups.

Oh, boy.
Hiccups are the worst.

Yeah, I know. (HICCUPS)

You can't finish a...
(HICCUPS)

You can't finish a...
(HICCUPS)

You can't finish a...
(HICCUPS)

(ANGRILY) ...sentence

Welcome to my world.

-(HICCUPS)
- But don't worry,
I'll help you get rid of them.

Hey, (HICCUPS)
what's the big idea?

You're going to
hold your breath, Bugs.

That's the easiest way
to get rid of hiccups.

Now take a deep breath
and hold it.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Now hold it.

Hold it. Hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it. Hold it.

Hold it. Hold it.

(GASPS AND COUGHS)

(SIGHS)

(HICCUPS)

Don't worry, Bugs,
let's try this glass of water.

No, all these remedies are
(HICCUPS)

baloney, we need to try
something new. (HICCUPS)

I got it, we'll have
Witch Hazel fix you up
a little remedy.

- That'll solve this.
-(HICCUPS)

WITCH HAZEL: It's a good thing
you came to me, boys.

I have some perfect remedies
I've been brewing up

- just for this occasion.
-(HICCUPS)

Eye of newt
and wing of crow,

make this bunny's
hiccups go!

(expl*si*n)

Here comes the airplane.

-(WITCH HAZEL IMITATING
AIRPLANE NOISES)
- No, no... (SCREAMS)

(GULPS)

(HICCUPS)

Huh? (HICCUPS)

(HICCUPING)

(DEEP VOICE) Make it stop!

Slip, slop, fudge pop!

(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)

(HICCUPS)

Well, I guess we can go
with plan B,

which is to scare them
hiccups out of him.

Boo! Boo.

I'm gonna get ya!

(HICCUPS) No offense,
but you're not that scary.

(HICCUPS) I mean, you look
like a fried green tomato
covered in speed bumps.

-(HICCUPS)
- Actually, she kind of looks
like a frog that was run over

by a truck
made of Italian beef.

Why, you little flirt,

- flattery will get
you everywhere.
-(HICCUPS)

Okay, here's the address
to my friend
Count Bloodcount.

He'll scare
the pants off ya!

Or maybe scare
the pants on ya.

(CACKLING)

BUGS: Go ahead
and knock, Porky.

(DOOR CREAKING)

Well, (HICCUPS)
this is the place.

(STAMMERING NERVOUSLY)
It sure is.

-(HICCUPS)
- Let's get down there

- and get those hiccups
scared out of ya.
-(HICCUPS)

Eh, Count Bloodcount?

Count Bloodcount?

Count (HICCUPS) Bloodcount,
come scare me.

Well, what do we have here?

Looks like tonight
I'm dining in.

(LAUGHS EVILLY)

Count Bloodcount! (HICCUPS)
Count Bloodcount!

(HICCUPS) Where is this guy?

(HICCUPS)
I need to get frightened

so I can (HICCUPS) get rid
of these annoying things.

You know, sometimes
working out can
get rid of the hiccups.

What do you say we try
this workout video
from the 1980s?

(HICCUPS)

WORKOUT INSTRUCTOR ON TV:
Are you ready?

(UPBEAT RETRO MUSIC PLAYING
ON TV)

Now run in place
and reach up high.

Way to go!
Keep it up, ladies!

Now drop down
and donkey kick.

-(GROANING)
-Donkey kick, donkey kick.

Work, ladies!

Now tuck and jump.
Tuck and jump.
Tuck and jump.

Punch and thrust.
Punch and thrust.
Punch and thrust.

Put them all together!

Donkey kick, tuck and jump,
then punch and thrust.

Donkey tuck. Jump and thrust.
Kick, then punch.
Kick, then punch.

-Kick and punch.
-(GROANS)

-(MUSIC STOPS)
- Are you feeling the burn?

I am feeling the burn.

(GROANING)

Let's cool down
with a nice stretch.

- Still got 'em?
- I don't think... (HICCUPS)

Yeah, I do.

Well, maybe we'll still
get this Count to scare you.

BUGS: What the... (HICCUPS)

Look at this guy! (HICCUPS)

He's lying down
on the job.

(HICCUPS) Sheesh.

The only thing
Count Bloodcount's counting
are sheep.

Let's get out of here.

(BONES CRACKING)

I feel bad I couldn't help you
get rid of the hiccups.

Ah, that's okay, buddy.

(HICCUPS) You tried your best.
(HICCUPS)

You know what? I'm not
going to quit on you, Bugs.

I'm gonna go home,
pack a suitcase

and come right
back over here.

You and I are going
to live together until
we cure these hiccups.

We're going to
be roommates,

no matter how long it takes.

Roommates? (TEETH CHATTERING)

(SCREAMING)

Not a good idea.
You can't live with me.

You have your own place
and I have mine.

- They're separate places.
- Bugs...

- I mean roommates,
that's a big step.
- Bugs...

- I just don't think I'm ready
for something like...
-(STAMMERING) Bugs!

- What?
- You're not hiccuping.

Hey, you're right.

I figured the idea of me
being your roommate

might scare you enough
to cure your hiccups.

Yeah, it was terrifying.

Well, you did it.
Thanks a lot.

- See you later.
- Bye, Bugs.

BOTH:
I'm glad that worked out.

He's a great guy,

but living with him
would have been the worst.

(BOTH LAUGH AND HICCUP)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)