03x33 - Foghorn Foods/Cruise Control

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Another fine day
at Foghorn Foods.

Oh, my! These bananas
look like they're past
their prime.

I'll freshen 'em up.

(CAN RATTLING)

There we go.

At Foghorn Foods,
our motto is,

"Just 'cause something's
rotten don't mean
you can't sell it."

-(BELL JINGLING)
-(DOOR OPENS)

Oh, sounds like
another sucker is coming
into the store.

- I mean "valued customer."
-(DOOR THUDDING)

Sounds like I'm getting
a whole bunch of customers.

Come on, boy,
don't just stand
in the door.

Either stay outside
or get in here
and start shopping.

Don't mind if I do.

- Whoa!
-(BABBLING)

- Three of these.
Part of these.
-(FOGHORN GRUNTING)

And some of that.

Now, let's get
checked out.

(FOGHORN GROANS)

- That's 911 dollars
and 12 cents?
-(CASH REGISTER DINGS)

Sheesh!
That's a lot of money

for a bunch
of rotten food.

This is my store!

I say, I say, I'm the one

who swindles people
out of their money

with high-priced,
low quality food.

You're messing
with my scheme, boy.

- Now, get out!
-(DAFFY EXCLAIMING)

Silly duck.

Wouldn't even let me
take advantage of him.

(GROANS)

What are you doing, boy?

Trying to find a decent apple.

These are terrible!

-(EXCLAIMS)
- I thought I threw you out.

Oh, you must be thinking
of someone else.

Well, if it wasn't you,

it was someone who looked
exactly like you.

What? Do you know
what that means?

Someone has stolen
my identity!

Grocery police!

-(SIRENS WAILING)
-(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
-(SLURPING)

Did someone call security?

I did! This here rooster
stole my identity.

What? I didn't steal
your identity!

An identity thief, eh?

You know what we do
to identity thieves
around here?

We make 'em do time.

Parsley, sage,
rosemary, and thyme.

Come on! Produce the evidence.

Lettuce see
what you're hiding.

-(FOGHORN GASPING)
- I'll pepper you
with questions

until you're ruta-begging
me for mercy.

No more puns!

- I did it! It was me!
- Ah-ha!

So you confess?

I better get on the corn
and call the chief.

(IMITATING ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

Hello, Chief? Yeah.

I got him to confess without
a kernel of evidence.

Wait a minute,
you're that duck!

Whoo-a-hoo.

Get back here,
you rascal!

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Hello?

DAFFY: (ON PHONE)
Is your refrigerator running?

(GROWLING ANGRILY)

Where did that bird go?

Mmm, don't mind if I do.

-(SLURPING)
- What this chicken
doesn't know

is that we replaced
his coffee

with Daffy's
Decaffeinated Coffee.

How are you enjoying
your coffee?

I'm enjoying it
very much.

It's got a rich,
bold flavor.

What if we told you
that we replaced
your coffee

with Daffy's Decaf.

This is decaf?

Yes, and it's made entirely
out of ghost peppers.

Ghost peppers?

-(SCREAMING)
-(CRASHING)

(GULPING)

Are you enjoying
your bottled water?

Yes, very much so.

It's cold, clear
and refreshing.

What if I told you
we replaced
your bottled water

with Daffy's All-Natural
Spring Water?

It tastes just like
regular spring water.

What's it made of?

Ghost peppers.

Ghost peppers?

(SCREAMING)

(GURGLING)

What if I told you
that we replaced
your regular ice cream

with Daffy's Organic
Ice Cream?

Let me guess, it's made
out of ghost peppers?

Yes, and it's attached
to this jet pack.

(CRASHES)

Whoa! (SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

Corn niblets.

-(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
- Potato niblets.

-(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
- Niblet-niblets.

(CASH REGISTER DINGS)

(ON PA) Can I get
a price check
on a giant chicken?

Nevermind,
I'll price it myself.

Time for fun
with a price g*n!

This chicken's now a dollar.

Actually, that's a little
pricey for an old,
used-up chicken.

Let's make it
a quarter.

Better yet,
let's make it free!

(EXCLAIMING)

Let's make everything
in the store free.

- Kale chimichangas.
- I love kale chimichangas!

Free! (EXCLAIMS)

Handbag made out of
recycle yak hair? Free!

Whoo-hoo!

Asparagus-infused
prune juice?

You get free prune juice.

(CANS RATTLE)

Are you sure
you're an organic
free-range chicken?

Hey, yeah, just feel
my free-range foot
in your keister.

-(PUNCH LANDING)
-(MAN SCREAMING)

I'm gonna ride in the cart.
I wanna ride in the cart.

You ain't getting
away from me.

It's time for bowling
with shopping carts.

First up,
canned squid challenge.

Ah! (GRUNTS) Ugh!

DAFFY: Next, pork belly bash.

Yes!

Now, the spaghetti sauce slam.

Not the spaghetti sauce!

Sounds like a challenge.

Marinara, dude!

You've destroyed
my entire store!

All I have left
is this gourd.

Well, you know
what they say,

"Live by the gourd,
die by the gourd."

This cruise is fantastic.

I really needed the R & R,

rutabagas and radishes.

CECIL: Do you mind?

Cecil, you're on
this cruise, too?

I sure am.

And I've got the sun tan
to prove it.

I can get a sun tan
that's better than yours.

-(SKIN SIZZLING)
-(HUMMING)

(SCREAMS) I'm burning.

Water! Water, I need water!

WAITER: Did the gentleman
request water?

- Yes!
- WAITER: It's $27.

It's $27?

You didn't get
an all-inclusive plan?

What an amateur.

Here's your money!

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

All right, I'm going
to prove I can have

more fun
on this cruise ship
than you.

I can have more fun than you
any day of the week.

Unless that day is today.

I'm going to start
by out-relaxing you
in this hot tub.

No way! I can get
way more relaxed
in a hot tub than you.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHING)

(SIGHING)

(WATER BOILING)

Oh, yeah!

Oh...

- Yeah!
- Ah...

Ah...

Oh...

- Oh...
- Yes!

(BOTH CONTINUE SIGHING)

(SHATTERS)

(CHUCKLING)

You lost.

I out relax...

(GASPING) I've got
a prune body!

I think you look
more like a raisin.

As in, "There's no raisin
to think you can beat me."

Well, I bet I can eat
more than you at the buffet.

- CECIL: Wanna bet?
-(GASPS)

I think I'll begin my meal
with a taquito.

I'll see your taquito

and raise you
a stack of pancakes.

I'll see your pancakes...

(MUNCHING)

And raise you some
rock shrimp avocado
bean sliders.

And I'll see your sliders

and raise you these kung pao
chicken lobster chimichangas.

I'll raise you
this sardine stroganoff

and a brussels sprouted
chocolate cake bowl.

And I'll see that and top it
with this broccoli casserole,

and this chick pea
curry pizza,

and some chili-cheese dogs,

and one egg plant potsticker,

and a deep-fried
teriyaki turducken.

(MUNCHING)

You sure ate
a lot of food!

Top that! (CHORTLING)

(GROANING)

Wow, you don't look
so hot.

I hope you
aren't starting
to feel sea sick.

(GULPS)

You know, it's easy
for a ship like this

to make you feel nauseated,

what with the waves
going up and down.

- Up and down.
-(SQUEAKING)

- Up and down.
-(GULPS)

(GAGGING)

-(BUGS VOMITING)
- Usually when you compete,
you throw down,

but he just threw up!

Laugh it up, green boy.

I still ate more than you,

which means
I'm up two to one.

Well, I bet you
can't beat me
in a limbo contest.

What's a limbo contest?

Only the most challenging,
death-defying competition
of all time!

A single bamboo stick
held aloft, a few feet
above the ground.

A limbo warrior
leaning back,

his entire body
coming mere centimeters

from the cold,
unfeeling ground.

It's a dance of danger.

A pirouette of peril.

A tangle
of terrifying torment!

It sounds like
it's just walking
under a stick.

It is so much more
than that!

- Still want to limbo?
- Of course, we do.

Let's do this.

Then let
the competition begin.

(LIMBO MUSIC PLAYING)

MAN:
♪ Limbo

♪ Oh, limbo

♪ Limbo

♪ You know I can limbo ♪

(MUSIC STOPS)

How low can you go?

The answer?
Not as low as me.

It's all tied up, Cecil.

It's time
for the final event.

Do you want to compete
on the surf machine,
in the spa,

on the water slide,
or in the trivia contest?

How about we do
all of them?

BOTH: All of them?

Yes, each competitor
must race to get
a spa treatment,

hang ten on the surf machine,

answer three trivia questions,

and the first one the race
down the water slide wins.

On your marks,
get set...

(HORN BLOWING)

First the spa.
It's seaweed wrap time.

Aw, yuck! Why do people
do this, anyway?

DAFFY: Surf contest!

(BUGS SCREAMS)

Trivia time.

Who was the 19th president
of the United States?

Uh... Whoa!

Rutherford B. Hayes.

-(GONG SOUNDS)
- Correct.

Water slide.

Watch out, junior.

CECIL AND BUGS:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Uh, I think we're stuck.

One side, junior.

BOTH: Whoa!

Looks like a tie.

There are no ties.

You have to pick
a winner.

In that case,
the winner is me!

Time to celebrate
with some limbo.

(LIMBO MUSIC PLAYING)

-(MUSIC STOPS)
-(GROANS)

I pulled my back!

Guys, a little help,
please?

I bet I can wait longer
to help him out
than you can.

Uh-uh, I bet I can wait
a lot longer than you.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)