03x35 - King Bugs and the Island of Lunacy

[bunniefuu]

In the midst
of another glorious adventure,

the sun is shining,

the wind is in our sails,

and my crew is throwing up
over the side of the ship.

(RETCHING)

Come on, fellas.

This is no time to be seasick.

You've gotta help me
on my quest

to find the Sword of Hrothgar.

Did you say
the Sword of Hrothgar?
(RETCHING)

Yes.

The legend says
that whoever holds the sword

will bring peace
and prosperity to the world.

So, where is
this supposed sword, anyway?

There.
On the Island of Lunacy!

All we gotta do is get through
those jagged rocks.

- Jagged rocks?
- Jagged rocks?

Oh, don't worry.

I took a class
at The Royal Sailing Academy.

(WOOD SPLINTERING)

You didn't graduate, did you?

(ALL SCREAMING)

Well, at least we're on
the island now.

Whoo.

I found some dollies
to play with.

You know what I do
with dollies,

don't you?

GIANT: Time for the tea party!

Now drink up, dolly.

Uh, I'm more of
a coffee guy. Ahh!

Well, looks like
he's got it covered.

GIANT: Naughty, naughty,
other dolly.

You shouldn't run away
like that,

- or you'll get a spanking.
- Ai!

(GROANING)

Oh, the humanity.

GIANT: Okay.
Time for dollies to go to bed.

(LAUGHS)

Good night.

(SNORING)

(STUTTERS)
Don't worry, fellas.
I'll get you out of there.

(GROANING)

(MUMBLES)

I did it.

Fear not. Porky's here.

Look at the little cow.

Moo, moo, moo, little cow.

I'm gonna make this cow
into a hamburger.

No, no. I'm not a cow.

I'm a Viking. See?

You can't fool me, little cow.

(PORKY SCREAMS)

Oh-h*.

GIANT: Mmm.

We did it.
Now let's get out of here.

Wait. We can't leave Porky.

Hey, Giant!

You got something stuck
on the side of your face.

GIANT: Oh.

(PORKY SCREAMS)

Come on. Let's move.

- GIANT: My dolly.
-(GROANS)

No!

ALL: Ahh!

What the...

AL: Yo, hey, there.

How's it goin' by you?

Uh, it's goin'.

Who are you guys?

I'm Al and he's Weird.

We're from Wisconsin.

We're Milwauk Trees.

I am King Bugs,

and I'm trying to find
the Sword of Hrothgar.

Oh, we know where
the Sword of Hrothgar is.

We're not just gonna tell you
how to find it.

You gotta earn
that information

by beating us
in a daring challenge.

Whatever.

Just let us down from here.

(THUDDING)

Okay. So what is
this daring challenge?

Why, the Polka challenge,
of course.

Whoever plays the meanest toe
tap in this polka number wins.

All right.

We'll accept your challenge.

We'll out-polka you
any day of the week.

Uh, point of order.

What happens if we lose?

Uh, we eat you.

Yeah, I thought the pile
of bones was pretty obvious.

Duly noted.

(MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS
PLAYING POLKA)

♪ I knew a girl

♪ And she was kind of pretty

♪ She'd come from a town

♪ They call Polka City

♪ We polka to the left

♪ We polka to the right

♪ Then she cooked me Bratwurst

♪ And I took a polka bite

♪ Oh, Polka City

♪ You're the only town for me

♪ I come down from Sheboygan

♪ With a tuba on my knee

♪ So butter up my burger

♪ And I'll play you a song

♪ Ya, I betcha
you'll be dancing

♪ To the polka
all night long ♪

DAFFY: My turn

♪ I pulled right into town

♪ And I formed a polka band

♪ I played my tuba

♪ Till they put some money
in my hand

♪ Now my little band and I
are rolling in the cash

♪ 'Cause every night we're
playing at another polka bash

AUDIENCE: Yay!

♪ Oh, Polka City

♪ You're the only town for me

♪ I came down from Sheboygan

♪ With a tuba on my knee

♪ So butter up my burger

♪ And I'll play you a song

♪ You betcha you'll be dancing
to that polka

♪ All night long

♪ Yay! ♪

(ACCORDION PLAYING)

Ah, shootskies.

We can't top that.

You win.

Yes! We did it!

Now, where's the sword?

You have to cross
the Bridge of Annihilation.

Oh, boy.

Why can't we just go through
the Glen of Tranquility

or the Meadow of Nothing Bad's
Gonna Happen To Ya.

Yes.

Yes.

Lead us
to the Sword of Hrothgar,

you fools.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

(LAUGHING IN A SILLY WAY)

- What was that?
- What was what?

That laughing thing
you were doing.

That was my evil laugh.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Ugh. Note to self.

Get henchman
evil laughing lessons.

Now as I was saying,

once King Bugs
finds the sword,

we swoop in and steal it.

Then, instead of using it
for peace and prosperity,

we use it to create chaos
and confusion.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

(LAUGHING IN A SILLY WAY)

Don't.

(PETE LAUGHING IN A SILLY WAY)

No, you need more
breath support.

Use your diaphragm.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

They're now approaching
the Bridge of Annihilation.

As soon as Bugs gets his hands
on the Sword of Hrothgar,

we'll steal it for ourselves.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Okay, fellas, stay close.

We're almost there.

Halt! Who goes there?

King Bugs, that's who.

Well, King Bugs That's Who,

what do you want?

I seek the Sword of Hrothgar.

What's all this racket?

This rabbit.

A rabbit? Really?

Why haven't you hit him
over the head

so we can put him in a pot
and eat him?

I was about to hit him
with this club,

until you came out
and interrupted me.

Will you two knock it off?

We need to cross this bridge.

You can't cross this bridge

until you correctly answer
three questions.

Hey, I'm the Bridge Troll,
not you.

Don't remind me.

Okay. You two
just ask us the questions.

Fine. Are you ready?

Yes.

-(BELL DINGS)
- Question Number 1 answered.

No, that wasn't the question.

I was just making sure
you were paying attention.

You already screwed it up.

Give me a break.

You see what I have to put up
with here?

Yes, I see what you have
to put up with here.

-(BELL DINGS)
- Question Number 2 answered.

That was rhetorical.

Did you really think
that was a question?

Yes, I did.

(HORN HONKS)

Question Number 3 asked
and answered.

(GRUMBLES WITH FRUSTRATION)

This is all your fault!

Don't blame me
for your shortcomings.

Of course
I have shortcomings.

I'm a troll!

Ugh! I should have married
the giant.

Guys, I see it.

The Sword of Hrothgar.

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)

It is I,

Elmer, the unscrupulous.

The Sword of Hrothgar is mine.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Yikes!

Yes,
I got the Sword of Hrothgar.

And now I will bring peace
and prosperity to the world.

Whoa!

(GROWLING)

Hello. I'm Peace,

and this is my partner
Prosperity.

Now that you've freed us,

we'll be unleashing chaos
and destruction

upon the world.

Okay, now we're doomed.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

I don't understand.

The legend didn't say anything
about a dragon.

It says right here,

whoever finds
the Sword of Hrothgar

will bring Peace
and Prosperity to the world.

(PORKY READING)

Nobody reads the fine print.

Why, boss,

your plan to spread chaos
is working like a charm.

This is too much chaos.

If we don't stop this dragon,

he'll destroy us all.

First, let him destroy
the pig.

What?

That'll give us time
to escape.

Maybe we should let him
destroy the duck.

- Uh-uh. Pig.
- Duck.

- Pig.
- Duck.

- Pig.
- Duck.

- Pig.
- Duck.

(GROWLING)

No one's getting destroyed,
okay?

I've got an idea.

BUGS: Hey, Dum-dum.

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

On my mark.

(SCREAMS) Run!

You never let me
get a word in edgewise.

(SCREAMING)

BOTH: This is all your fault!

At least we agree
on something.

Hey, Weird, Al,

play some of that polka music.

You got it, Bugs.

♪ Polka, polka, polka

♪ Polka every day

-♪ Polka, polka, polka
across the USA.
-(GROWLING)

♪ A polka in Canosia

What is this music?

My ears stay stop.

PEACE: But my feet say,
go, go, go.

That'll hold them off
for a while.

Come on, follow me.

♪ Polka, polka, polka

♪ Across the USA ♪

Hey, Giant.

Ooh, h*, h*,

my dollies are back.

Look, Giant.
I could be your dolly,

but wouldn't you rather
have a puppy?

(LAUGHS) Puppy.

Come here, puppy.

Let us go!

We're a dragon,
not a puppy.

Oh, h*-h*, no.

Your name is Mr. Furry Bug,

and you'll be my puppy forever

and ever and ever.

Hey, Giant. How about a game
of fetch with your new puppy?

Let's play, puppy.

See that stake.
Go, fetch!

(SCREAMING)

Good. We'll never see Peace
and Prosperity again.

(STUTTERS) Thank heavens.

(CRYING)

I loved my puppy.

Ah, don't worry, Giant.

I think I have something
just as good.

GIANT: Here you go,
little dollies.

Sip, sip.

Can I get some sugar
in my tea?

One lump or two?

Ooh, better make it three.

One, two, three.

Thanks, Mommy.

Well, my plan might not
have gone perfectly,

but somehow it still worked

(SNAPS FINGER) to a T.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)