03x38 - Close Encounters of the Duck Kind/O.M. Genie

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(GIGGLES) I love flying south
for the winter.

In just a few hours,
I'll be on the beach
chatting up a cute little...

Or I'll hit this satellite
and plummet to the ground.

(YELLS)

(THUDS)

(GROANS AND EXCLAIMS)

(CHUCKLING)
You know, here in Area 51,

we usually have to go
looking for the aliens.

But this one dropped
right into our backyard.

Take him to
the observation pen.

We'll make him tell us
all his alien secrets.

(LAUGHING)

(GROANS) Where am I?

(LAUGHS)
Welcome to Area 51, freak.

You name your areas?
I name my areas, too!

This is my elbow area.
This is my eating area.
Ah!

And this little area down here
is my--

Enough!

Area 51 is a prison
for aliens like you.

What? You think I'm an alien?

That's right. Now tell me
all your alien secrets.

This ought to be interesting.

All right.
I'll give you
all my secrets.

But I want something
in return.

You'll get nada.
Zero. Zilch.

Ooh, I love zilch.

That's like Mediterranean
food, right?

You get pita bread in it?

Zilch means nothing!

Pity, really.
I was looking forward
to telling you all about

the origins of the universe,
intergalactic space-travel,

how to impress girls
at parties...

Oh, fine. What do you want?

I am so glad you asked.

A king-sized bed,
a continental breakfast,

a bucket of ice,
a flat-screen TV,

a Jacuzzi filled with your
finest macaroni and cheese,

and a life-like animatronic
statue of former president,

Rutherford B. Hayes.

And it was that summer
I deployed federal troops

to squash the great railroad
strike of 1877.

Okay, alien.
I got everything you wanted.

Now tell me your secrets!

You got it. Right after
I finish my bay leaf
tapioca malt.

(SLURPING)

(AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYING)

(SLURPING)

-(SLURPING LOUDLY)
-(GRUMBLING)

(SLURPING CONTINUES)

(GROWLING)

That's enough!
Tell me
your alien secrets now!

I'd be more than happy to.

Now, lean in close so I can
whisper them in your ear.

Here's my secret.

- I swiped your keys
when you weren't looking.
- Huh?

How the...

Get back here,
you crazy alien!

Stop! You were
just with the alien.

We've got to decontaminate
the alien germs off of you.

(WHISTLES)

That's right.
Strip him and scrub him, boys.

(GROANING AND SPUTTERING)

Keep scrubbing, boys.

Get all those nooks
and crannies.

Psst. It's me, folks.

Daffy Duck.

Enough! Get that alien!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(DAFFY EXCLAIMING)

He went into
the transportation tubes.

There's that alien!
Grab him!

(TASERS CRACKLING)

(YELLING)

DAFFY: Good job. Now we can
throw him in the brain scanner

and learn
all his alien secrets.

This won't hurt a bit.

(BEEPING AND WHIRRING)

Can we keep him, Mommy?

(BALLOON POPS)

(CRYING)

No, Freckles. Don't go!

I can change!
I can change!

Freckles!

Ugh. These secrets
are depressing.

Huh! Probably should've opened
the roof first.

So a pimento is
the thing inside an olive?

Hey! That's the General!

If that's the General,
then who was the other guy?

Why, it was me!
Daffy Duck!

Woo and hoo.

Get that alien!

(EXCLAIMING)

Well, lookie here.

UFO, you're my new BFF.

LOL. BRB!

- Hey!
- DAFFY: Oh, boys!

-(expl*si*n)
-(YELLING)

See ya laser!

Ooh!
Two can play at this game!

Uh-oh. He's catching up
with me.

Well. Them's the brakes.

What?

My brakes!

Oh, dearie me!
Somebody must've cut
his brake lines.

It was me, Daffy Duck!

(YELLING)

Well, if I'm gonna fly south
for the winter,

I might as well
do it in style.

Toodles!

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Oh, goodie goodie.

Usually we have to go
looking for the aliens.

But this one dropped
right into our backyard.

PORKY: This is just great.

My first vacation in years
and I'm spending it

lost in an Egyptian wasteland.

Not all who wander
are lost, chum.

Besides,
I had to get away from
that boring tourist group.

But I wanted to see
the pyramids!

We're going off the beaten
path to see way cooler stuff.

Like this lamp for instance.

Oh, yeah.
An old lamp is way cooler
than giant ancient pyramids.

Do I detect a hint of
sarcasm in your voice?

Oh, it's not a hint.
It's a whole truck load!

I didn't come all the way
to Egypt to see a dirty,
old lamp.

Hmm, it is a bit dusty.

(SQUEAKS)

I'm here! I'm here!

Roll out the red carpet
and fire up the spotlight!

The genie is on stage
for one night only!

BOTH: Genie? Lamp?

Lamp genie?
Genie lamp!

Looks like you boys
rubbed me the right way.

And now, you're both gonna
get a chance to make a wish.

Now, get on in here.

DAFFY: Wow.
The inside of your lamp
is huge.

I'll say.
My electric bill
is through the roof.

Now what can I do for you?
Your wish is my command.

Oh, boy. I wish for
a new pair of slippers.

I don't think you understand.

I can give you anything
in the world you want.

You gotta think
bigger than that.

Now, wish for something
beyond your greatest hopes
and dreams.

(GASPS)

Then I wish to have my feet
submerged in giant buckets
of chocolate pudding.

Well. It's not
my place to judge.

(SIGHS) Now, that's the stuff.

Oh. Tastes so good.

Okay. Enough small potatoes.

It's my turn.

And I wish for a gold-plated
mini monster truck

with all the bells
and whistles.

-(ENGINE REVVING)
- Come to papa!

I wish for an oak tree.

I wish I had a table
full of pizza.

(CHOMPING)

I wish I had a magical unicorn
that would serve me

unlimited glasses
of root beer.

I wish for giant french fries!

I wish for the most expensive
pair of high-end luxury
basketball sneakers

ever conceived
by the mind of man!

Come to papa, also.

That's it. Top it off, Nicole.

Sorry to interrupt
the party, fellas,

but I've got places to go
and people to see.

Will there be anything else?

(GULPING) Ah...

I think we're
good here, genie.

(CHOMPING)

I'm all wished out.

All right.
Well then, here's your bill.

Uh, come again?

Your bill.
For all your wishes.

You didn't think I was
granting them
for my health, did you?

We thought you were doing it
because it was your job.

It is my job.
And like any other job,

I expect to be paid.

I'm sorry, Mr. Genie.
All my money went to
paying for this vacation.

They really got me
with the baggage fees.

Well, then.
I guess you'll have to
work it off.

I want you to polish the sofa,
wash the dishes,

scrub the floors
and don't stop until
this lamp is spotless.

Well. I'm not doing that.

You either clean my lamp,

or I'll give you
the beating of your life.

All right.
Let's get this over with.

Here, Porky. You go first.

(STUTTERS) What?
I don't want
the beating of my life.

I think we should
just clean up.

Fine. We always have to do
what you want to do.

I guess we're gonna
clean up after all.

I don't believe this.

We went from "having it made"
to "being his maid."

Don't worry. I know how to
get us out of here.

You distract the genie.

- How am I supposed to--
- Just go!

Well, whaddayaknow.
This pig can really jig.

It's called
Irish step-dancing.

It's pretty great, huh?

Aha! That oughta hold him.

GENIE: (SARCASTICALLY)
Oh, no! I'm trapped inside

this impenetrable
cardboard box!

See, Porky? There's no way
he can get out.

Unless... I open the lid.

Welp, I'm out of ideas.

Get back here, you two!

You owe me money!

Get up! Run!

Uh-oh.
I guess we needed
those columns.

(GASPS) My roof!

I'll add that to your bill!

Now, pay up or face
the collection agency!

That was my boxing
nickname back in college.

-(GRUNTS)
- Daffy, run!
Head for the spout!

Phew. That was a close one.

Yeah. I hope I never see
another genie again.

Ooh, look. A bottle.

I wonder if there's
a genie inside.

Daffy, no!

(GASPS) A man!

Are you single
and looking to mingle?

'Cause I am!
Come to mama!

Well, look at that.
The genie granted
my wish after all.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)