01x31 & 01x32 - Home ECCH!/Fun & Done!

[bunniefuu]

- Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad.

[zany music]

This is my mom.
[laughs]

This is my sister. She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

* *

This is my show!

* *

[squelches]

- Time's up, everyone.

Put down your ladles.

I'm excited to see what you've
all cooked up for home ec.

Oh, my.

Honey-glazed clam.

Marvelous.

Reef Wellington.

An A-plus for you.

- [chuckles]

- [humming]

- Next up, we have-- ugh.

- Squidina's pickle pie.

- Uh--

- Aren't you going to try it?

You tried all my
other projects.

- Your other projects--

[echoing]
Projects, projects...

- I might have left
some pins in it.

- [groans]

- Excuse me.

- Hmm?

- You've got something
on your shirt.

[vacuum whirring]

- Oh!

- [humming]

- [whimpering]

- Pretty please?

- [groans]

[groaning]

[sirens wailing]

[tires screeching]

- [groaning]

- Oh, hey, sis.

Why the long face?

- I poisoned my home ec
teacher again.

- Oof!

The pickle recipe?

- The pickle recipe.

Oh, I'm totally
failing home ec.

If I can't make something
that raises my grade,

I'll have to go
to summer school.

- Why don't you try doing
something you're good at?

Oh, like making my show!

You can make my show
about home ec for your teacher.

- Hmm.

That could work.

But if I'm starring
in the show,

who's going to run the camera?

[bowling pins clatter]

- Me as you.

Here we go!
- Whee!

- Don't worry.

I'll take care of all
the backstage stuff.

You'll show him how good you
are at home ec with...

[in French accent]
The magic of cinema.

[grunting]

- OK.

I guess I'm ready.

But how will my teacher
see this

if he's still in the hospital?

- Hold on.

[panting]

- Move this over here.

- Excuse me.

[heart monitor beeping]

- Good.

[toilet flushes]

[sirens wailing]

- Good homing to all
you viewers out there,

including any who
might be in a hospital

suffering from food poisoning.

I'm here to show you some great
home economic techniques that

are worth a C-minus, at least.

First up-- huh?

- [grunting]

- Ah! Oof!

[groans]

both:
Shakin' up makin' up the bed!

- The first thing you want
to do is clear off your bed.

- [snoring]
- [gasps]

GrandPat,
I have to make the bed.

GrandPat!

[duck quacks]

[grunting]

[chuckles]

- Shakin' up makin' up the bed
with special guest, GrandPat!

- [grunting]

Ta-da!

- No, no.

The sheet's got to
be completely smooth.

And tight.

- [grunting]

[panting]

Ta-da.

- [grunting]

Huh?

Oh.

You made the bed
with my old saggy skin.

That's a pickle.

But hey, no wrinkles!

- Now, I bet that's worth an A.

- Wha-- what is that?

[screaming]

[heart monitor flatlining]

both: Uh-oh.

- Clear!

- Lucky for your show,
I was my high school's

cutlery placing champion.

Yep, they called me
Hot Tongs back then.

Now, setting the
perfect table is

about identifying and placing
all the right forks.

- Uh, how many forks?

- Why, all of them, dear.

[grunts]

- Ahh!

- Ready, go!

- Table fork, salad fork,
fruit fork, shrimp fork--

- Who you calling shrimp?

- Chair fork,
double fork, invisible fork--

- Ladies and gentlemen,
and home ec teachers,

have you ever seen such
an impeccable place setting?

Ooh-la-la.

Choo-choo!

Ah!

Squidina, help me!

- Extendable fork, granny fork,
tuning fork, forklift,

forked tongue,
fork in the road,

fork five six,
forkle, fork-fork,

and just one more fork.

- You spent the last two
hours setting out cutlery.

Now do you have what it takes
to place this final fork?

- Fork?

But this is a spoon.

- Correct!

Beautiful.

You not only know
all the forks,

you know what type
of fork isn't a fork.

[both cheering]

- Aha!

Now get over here!

- Whee!

Ah-ha-ha!

Hey, where's Patrick?

He's missing great footage.

both: Huh?
- Squidina!

[loud expl*si*n]

- [groaning]

And that's how you place
all the forks in Dad.

- [groaning]

- [coughing, choking]

[heart monitor flatlining]

[electricity zapping]

- Wow!

Can you believe all the
skills we picked up today?

It's been fun.

Learning how to sew...

both: Ahh-ahh-ahh!

- How to care
for a baby,

and proper
telephone etiquette.

So home economical.

Now it's time
for the main course.

- * Tra la la la la, tra la *

- To show my
teacher I have what

it takes to avoid
summer school,

I'm going to make pickle pie.
Heh-heh.

Which I can totally do.
Heh-heh.

Oh, who am I kidding?

I'll just end up poisoning
someone else to death.

[sobbing]

- Mmm.

Pickle pie.
- [gasps]

Huh?

- That was Mother's favorite.

You look like you
could use some advice.

- Yes.

- First, grab some pickles.

Excellent.

Now, swirl the milk.

Mix in the crackers
and salt.

And tickle the sprouts.

- Coochy-coo.

[sprouts giggling]

- Now bruise the pickles.

- [grunting]

- Now give the dough a toy.

- Aw.

- Now break that toy.

Break it good!

- [cackling]

[oven timer dings]

- Huh?
Ooh, pie time!

Ahh! Huh?

[triumphant music]

The perfect pickle pie!

Gee, I wish my teacher
could taste it.

Oh, but he's in the hospital.

- Come.

We fly!

Ugh!

- Go get 'em, girl.

- [imitating siren wailing]

- Nobody move!

[both gasp]

[together]
Huh?

- No!

You can't be dead!

I need you
to give me an A-plus.

[sobbing]

Forks?

A needle and thread?

Appliances?

[gasps]
I know what I can do!

- Stop, please!

We did all we could.

- Well, you didn't
do all that I could.

[both yelling]

- I may need to pass,
but my teacher doesn't.

- Oof! Huh?

- Hmm.
Surgical fork.

[grunting]

Surgical vacuum.

[grunting]

- Ooh.

[sniffs]

- [grunting]

[stapler clicking]

And some finishing touches.

Please work.
Please work.

[bell dings]

- I live!

Huh?

Squidina?

Did you save me?

- Yes, with the power
of home economics.

How about we celebrate
with some pickle pie?

Pretty please?

- I-- well, I--

is it safe?

[together]
Eat it! Eat it!

- No, don't eat it!

Don't eat it!

- Well, four out of five
doctors can't be wrong.

[sirens wailing]

- Where are they going?

The pickle party is right here.

- Tastes like an A-plus.

- Acquired taste acquired!

[laughter]

- Wait, does this
contain gluten?

- [gasps]

- Oh!

- Yikes!

- Life under the
sea is beautiful

but often savage and strange.

Here we see the common
sea star feeding

by extruding its stomach
from its own body,

in order to envelop its prey.

- Ew, gross.

But-- hmm.

I wonder.

[grunting]

[gasps]

- Ha-ha!
- Ooh.

Hey, buddy!

- [slurping, chewing]
- [chuckling]

[doorbell rings]

both: Huh?

- Uh, coming!

Uh-huh?

- Oh, good.

You're here.

As per our discussion on the
phone, this is little Andy.

Strict diet, kelp only.

Nutritional supplements.

Study material.

And a few other instructions.

I got to go.

I'm a busy lady.

Listen to your tutor, Andy!

Oh, and one last thing.

Do not overstimulate him!

[tires squealing]

- Well, it's just you
and me now, Blandy.

- It's Andy.

- That's right, Blandy.

Your mom said I was your tutor,
but I don't know what that is.

Let's just have fun instead.

[horn honking]

- What is fun?

- [screams]

Doesn't know fun.

- Who doesn't know what fun is?

- [stammering]
Blandy!

- [gasps]

Patrick, do you
know what this means?

It means that kid
is a blank slate.

- I don't get it.

- [laughs]

We get to teach him
what fun is!

- Oh!

both: Fun. Fun. Fun.

- Fun.

- [inhaling, blowing]

[yells]

- [giggling]

- Blandy, are you ready to
play the funnest game ever?

- It's called Hold That Eel!

- [roars]

- [mumbles]

- Me first!

[electricity zapping]

- [growls]

- Ooh, heh-heh, spicy fun.

- [laughs]
My turn!

[electricity zapping]

- [babbling]

Crispy fun.

All right, Blandy.

You're up.

[static]

- Hey, little guy.

Why don't you like eels?

We really light up the room.

- Oof.

- All right, boys.

I'm off the clock.

See you next week, same time.

- We can't just give up on him.

- We need something even
more funner than fun.

- Ice cream's fun!

Heh.

Uh.

Hmm.

- This is a job
for Mermaid Man!

[imitates airplane whooshing]

Ooh!

- The idiot box!

- Candy!

- Burger!

- Trucks!

- Kalamazoo!

- This thing!

Huh.

- Nothing's working, Captain.

- Time for drastic measures.

[adventurous music]

* *

Found it.

Whee!

- Hmm.

Whoo-hoo!

So what are we looking for?

- Deep down every child
has a sense of fun, Patrick.

We've just
got to find Blandy's.

- I don't know, SpongeBob.

It looks pretty empty in here.

It's not going to turn
up right under our-- oh!

- Oh.

- Oh, stupid doorknob!

- That's it, Patrick!
- Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow!

- [inhales, blows]

Aha!
- Huh?

- Blandy's imagination door.

There's nothing more
fun than imagination,

and his is all locked up.

- Oh, oh!

I learned this
new trick from TV.

Oh.

Here, boy.

I got some tasty grub for you!

Who's a good tummy?
Who's a good tummy?

- [screams]

[munching]

[giggles]

- Got to have bagel
with your locks.

[belches]

Now, let's see if we can
find some fun in here.

- Oh, oh, oh--

both: Whoa!

- Hmm?

Whoa!

- [grunts]

- Whoa!

- [grunts]

- Whee!
- Ah-ha-ha!

Oof!

both: Oh!

- [giggling]

Fun!

[laughter]

- Fun!

[horn honks]

Fun! Fun! Fun!

[all vocalizing]

- [speaking gibberish]

- [giggles] Fun!

Fun, fun!

[laughter]

- [growls]

- My mom's favorite boot plant!

My mom's favorite wall!

- Fun! Fun!

- I hate to say this, but
do you think there could be

such a thing as too much fun?

- [gasps]

[both scream]

- Gee, Blandy.

Your imagination sure is fun.

But maybe it's time to take
a little breather, hmm?

- Yeah.

[giggles]

Fun, fun!

[both groaning]

- [babbling]

[both screaming]

- [giggling]

- Was that a giggle?

- Ahh! Ahh!

- Augh!

[knock at door]

- Ooh!

She's here!

SpongeBob, what do we do?

Blandy's mom is here.

And we haven't even
tutored him yet!

- We were supposed
to tutor him?

But that's so boring.

As boring as doing the dishes.

- Ooh.

- Oh.

So I think being the opposite
of fun gets rid of them.

- Quick,
let's clean up this mess

before we get sued
for malpractice.

[grunting]

- [babbling]

- Huh?

- Proofreading!

- [babbling]

- [giggling]

- [gasps] That's the
sound of overstimulation!

[all speaking gibberish]

[both babbling]

- Math equations!

- Ohh.

- Savings plan.

- [groans]

[oven timer dings]

- [grunts]

Andy!

- Tidy room!

- Tutoring!

[together]
Aw.

[glass shattering]

[bell tolling]

- Andy!

Andy!

- Whee!

- Standing in line
in an orderly fashion.

- [grumbling]

both: Chores.

Yay!

- Finally, all gone.

- Fun! Fun! Fun!

- Andy! Andy!

[gasping]

Andy!

- There's only one thing to do.

We have to
cut it off at the source.

- [gasps] You mean--

- That's right, Patrick.

We have to go back
into Blandy's head.

- Fun!

Ah!

- Come on, Patrick!

Push like you mean it!

- [grunts]

- Ooh!

both: Whoa!

- [meows]

- [gasps]
- Oh!

- [grunts]

- [grunting]

[both grunting]

Ah!

- It's not going to hold.

We have to reinforce
it with something.

- Oh, I know!

[grunting]

- [belches]

- We did it!

We stifled his imagination.

[knock at door]

- Andrew Fishman!

[panting]

- Hello, Mrs. Blandsmom.

I'm the tutor.

- What is going on in here?

- Absolutely nothing.

We just sat on the floor
quietly for about 11 minutes.

- Huh?

Oh.

- You'll be pleased
to know that your son

was very boring today.

- Sweetie, are you OK?

- Mother, I would like
some plain oatmeal.

- Oh, thank heavens.

That's my boy.

Great job.

I can't thank you enough.

That's why I am paying you one
whole quarter, Mr. Squidward.

both: Huh?

- Wait, my name is Pat--

[door slams]

--trick.

Oh, well.

[both giggling]

[coin clinking]

[slot machine clattering]

Luck, be a lady tonight.

- [belches]

- Aw, cherries again?

Someday we're going
to win that sports car.

- Andy, what do you say we go
home and fold some laundry?

- [sniffs]

Yes, Mother.

- Hey, Blandy!

Till next time, have fun!

- Fun?

Fun!

- What was that?

[knock at door]

Andrew,
what have you gotten into?

Hmm.

Ahh!

- Fun!