02x07 - Porky the Disorderly/Game, Set, Wabbit

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

-[STUTTERING] The forceps.
-[BEEPING]

Scalpel.

[STUTTERING] The sponge.

Uh-oh. Oh, boy.

[STUTTERING] This sandwich
is gonna be delicious.

ELLIOT: Pig!

I thought I told you to stop
usin' surgical tools
to make your lunch.

You're an orderly.

[DAFFY IMITATING
AMBULANCE SIREN]

Go unload the patients
from that ambulance outside.

Actually, it's not
an ambulance.

It's that crazy duck.

He's been hangin'
around this hospital

and mimicking
a bunch of different sounds.

That's a duck?

Yeah, he's a real pain
in the... [STUTTERING]

A real nuisance.

Then your new job is
to get that duck outta here.

Sure, boss.
[STUTTERING] Right after
I finish up my lunch.

Now!

[GRUNTING]

Try the door.

[CHUCKLING]

[IMITATING SIREN]

Hey, duck!

[STUTTERING] Stop that.
It's bothering everyone.

Oh, my. That's a lot of people
to bother. Pardon me.

Leave the parking lot.

Of course.

I'll get out of here
right this instant.

Well, [STUTTERING]
that takes care of that.

He won't bother anyone
[STUTTERING] now that
he's left the parking lot

and gone into the hospital.

[GASPING] Gone into
the hospital!

[GRUNTS]

[STUTTERING] What the...

[STUTTERING]
This is ridiculous.

Go ahead and try.

What? You opened up
for that old
[STUTTERING] biddy.

Oh, come on.

[GROANING]

You're not gonna close again,
are you, doors?

DAFFY: No, of course not.

I just...
[STUTTERING] I just need
to get in.

No more closing, Porky.
You can trust me.

Finally. Thanks.

[GROANING]

Oh, my goodness.
You are smashed.

You need immediate
medical attention.

[GRUNTING]

Just a few quick tests.

Now, this is gonna be
a bit more invasive
than you're used to.

- But I'm not a patient.
- That's okay. I'm not
a doctor.

First, let's check
your blood pressure.

How is it?

expl*sive.

- Now, let's test
your reflexes.
-[GROANS]

Oh, no. The patient's
flatlining! Get the paddles!

That was fun.
Get the defibrillator!

This won't hurt a bit.
Clear!

[GRUNTING]

See? I didn't feel a thing.

Now, let's get
you comfortable.

Sheesh! How's this thing work?

Gotta be a doctor
to understand it.

[GROANS]

[PORKY SCREAMING]

[CRASHING]

Gotta go.
Late for my tea time.

[SLURPING]

Ah.

Whoo-hoo!

[SCREAMS]

- Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
-[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

-[BABIES CRYING]
- Whoo-hoo!

Hey...

- Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
-[PORKY SCREAMING]

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

Makes you think.

Certainly gives
you perspective.

-[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- DAFFY: I'm over it!

-[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
- Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

[GASPS] Oh, boy.

[STUTTERING] Now what
do we do?

Well, I don't know about you,
but I can fly.

-[SCREAMING]
-[FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS] An open window.
[STUTTERING]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[STRAINING]

Open this window
and open it now!

[MUFFLED] What?
I can't understand you.

[STUTTERING] I need you
to open this window now.

I'm sorry. All I hear is,
"Blah, blah, blah."

I think it's this window
between us.

Open this window now!

- I'm waiting.
- I've got an idea.

If I open this window,
then I'll be able to hear you.

[STUTTERING] That's what
I was trying to tell you.

I know. I heard
every word you said.

[PORKY SCREAMING]

Gotcha, chum.

[STUTTERING] Put me...
Put me...

- Let go!
- Suit yourself.

[CRASHING]

-[SIZZLING]
-[GRUNTING]

Hot dogs!

Whoops. Looked like
we burned your buns.

Let's cool 'em off.

[SCREAMING]

-[SIZZLING]
-[SCREAMING]

Wow! You really struck
while the iron was hot.

At least you don't waffle
on the issues.

[GRUNTS]

[STUTTERING]
[IMITATING SIREN]

Porky! Is that you
making that noise?

[IMITATING SIREN CONTINUES]

Heavens to Betsy!
This pig needs help.

We gotta get you
to the hospital. Stat.

Whoo-hoo!

- Hang on, bub.
-[TIRES SCREECHING]

[SCREAMS AND GRUNTS]

[AMBULANCE CRASHING]

-[MONITORS BEEPING]
-[GROANING]

[GASPS]

[STUTTERING] Just
one more cast and you'll be
on the road to recovery.

One more? What kind
of sick treatment is this?

[STUTTERING] It's
the silent treatment.

[GRUNTING]

I knew I should have made
that left turn at Albuquerque.

Because this is definitely
not the beach.

-[SCREAMS]
- Ow!

-[CROWD CHEERING]
- ALL: Oh, Viktor, we love you.

Splendid competition.

- Ball boy, present the trophy.
-[BELL RINGING]

Yes, I won Simbledon!

Now, it's time to give myself
a congratulatory kiss.

- ALL: Oh...
-[SMOOCHING]

Hey, bub. What's the big idea?

Hmph. Big idea?
This is Simbledon,

the world's greatest
tennis championship.

And you just ruined my moment!

Ahhh!

- Simbledon?
- That's right. Simbledon.

And I am Viktor,

the greatest tennis player
of all time.

- I lob,
-[GRUNTS]

- I volley,
-[GRUNTS]

and everyone looks at me.

Well, you haven't
beaten me yet.

It's too late.
I've already won
the championship.

My trophy!

QUEEN: Well, I'd like
to see more.

You can't win the trophy
until you beat the rabbit.

What, what? A rabbit
competing at Simbledon?

Quiet, Reginald!

I'm the Queen
and you're the Prince.

But he's never even
played tennis before.

I played a little badminton.

But he's not even wearing
the regulation white uniform.

Ah. Not a problem.

Excuse me, may I borrow this?
Thank you.

-[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- Oh, I like it.

It really shows off my legs.
What the...

-[CROWD CHEERING]
- Thank you, thank you.

You're welcome
for my presence.

Hey, I wasn't ready.

I don't even have
my racket yet.

Well, it counted.

Now, you're playing
with the big boys.

- VIKTOR: Are you ready?
- Now I am.

-[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
- This is going to be too easy.

[GRUNTS] Thank you.

I am jealous of you
being able to watch...

[GROANS] Huh?

Thank you, thank you.
It was nothing.

No one humiliates Viktor.

Grunt!

Grunt!

Did I capture your likeness?

[GROANING]

[DINGS]

ALL: Oh, no.
Viktor lost a set!

I won! Wow, that was easy.

No, you only won
the first set.

First out of five.

And now it's my turn to serve.

- Oh, you're serving. Great.
-[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Uh, let's see.
I'll have eggs over easy

with a side of hash browns
and wheat toast.
And make it snappy.

-[WHEELS SQUEAKING]
- Yes, sir.

Order up!

Can I get
a little more coffee?

A little ketchup for the eggs?

More butter, more salt.

The new fork, an old fork.
Some creamer.

A steak knife,
a Swiss Army Knife.

Lobster bib, crab fork.
Fresh ground pepper.

[PANTING] I'm tired
of serving.

[PANTING] You serve me now.

Order up.

Lingonberries... [GRUNTS]

Gross. Oh, actually...

Tastes pretty good.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Grunt!

Halt! Ball boy, let's go.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTING]

Another ball!

[GRUNTING]

Ahhh! Winter solstice!
This is not a tennis ball.

Throw me a real ball.

[GRUNTS]

No, I mean a... [GRUNTS]

Tennis ball.

[DINGS]

BOTH: Oh, no!
He's down two sets!

Way to go, Bugs!

All right, Mr. Bunny.

Time to end this
little love fest.

Good luck
returning these, rabbit.

-[LAUGHING EVILLY]
-[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Huh? What?

[DINGS]

Match point?

BOTH: Go, Bugs!

I can't lose this,

or else the rabbit wins
the whole kit and caboodle.

- Dig down deep, Viktor.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Tap into your inner rage.

Remember when Daddy ate
all your birthday cake?

[SCREAMS] Grunt!

Uh-oh.

That ball looks like it's
headed all the way to China.

- Is that legal?
- I'll allow it.

-[WHISTLING]
-[TIRES SCREECHING]

Follow that ball.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[THANKING IN MANDARIN]

-[CAR ENGINE REVVING]
-[IN ENGLISH]
Three... Two... One...

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

No!

[PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

[DINGS]

ALL: [CHANTING] Bugs wins!
Bugs wins! Bugs...

ALL: We love Bugs!

-[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- No, my trophy!

A trophy? I thought
it was a toilet.

No, it's a trophy.
And it's mine.

Here, take it.
Tennis is more of a hobby
for me anyway.

Ow! My trophy!