[upbeat music]
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ Something's wrong with that kid ♪
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ His head don't work it never did ♪
[beeping]
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ You better not cross his path ♪
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ He's a chain smokin'
alcoholic sociopath ♪
♪ Sociopath ♪
[trumpet blaring]
[upbeat music]
[jackhammer whirring]
[tense music]
[hammer thudding]
[tense music]
[jackhammer whirring]
[tense music]
[yawns]
[tense music]
- [Narrator] Even though it was
almost one in the afternoon,
the Spencer family didn't care much
for being woken up three
hours earlier then usual.
- Get the g*n boy.
[spitting]
[footsteps approaching]
[playful music]
Where the hell was you?
- You was snorin' too damn loud,
so I slept in the spare bedroom.
- You better not have snuck
Charlie Plunt in there.
- Me and Charlie ain't
been together in months.
You know that sugar.
What the hell's goin' on?
- Get goin' boy.
- Where's the boy goin'?
- I sent him for the g*n.
- Bring mommy a Ryan
Seven on your way back.
[upbeat music]
[bicycle wheels spinning]
[upbeat music]
[bicycle crashing]
[boys yelling]
- Oh Jesus!
[bicycle crashes]
Look Percy, it's Charlie.
Oh, hey Charlie.
What brings, what brings
you around Charlie?
- Hey yeah, you got a smoke Percy?
Uh, I left mine on the
table beside your sofa.
Uh, I mean at uh, my house.
- Nice goin' you f'ing as*h*le.
[playful music]
- What did I tell you about
bangin' my wife Plunt?
[dramatic music]
[footsteps retreating]
[playful music]
[truck engine rumbling]
[tense music]
[gulping]
[truck rumbling]
[tense music]
[sign thuds]
[truck engine rumbling]
[tense music]
[birds chirping]
[gentle music]
- [Narrator] It had been almost four hours
and Kevin still hadn't gotten
around to getting the g*n,
because he had gotten
distracted by a squirrel
and forgot what he was supposed to do.
Which was probably for the
best because the last thing
the old man needed was another arrest
for discharging a firearm
within city limits.
[acorn thuds]
[playful music]
[squirrel chattering]
[tense music]
[playful music]
[painter grunts]
- [Painter] Whoa, whoa!
- You're going to be the best squirrel
at the costume party Billy.
- I'm so happy and well adjusted.
Thanks mom!
- [Painter] Whoa!
[Billy screaming]
[piano music]
[birds chirping]
[truck engine rumbling]
[tense music]
[fist banging]
- Open the f'ing door you
noise makin' son of a b*tch.
You and me's got some talkin' to do.
[fist banging]
- You got a problem idiot?
[playful music]
[truck engine rumbling]
[tense music]
- Not half as bad as the one you got
for waking me up so f'ing early.
Time to pay the piper you f*ck.
[fist thuds]
[footsteps retreating]
[playful music]
[fist banging]
[tense music]
- You missed me a-hole.
Who's laughin' now you f'ing
two bit son of a b*tch?
[plank thuds]
Oh!
[plank thuds]
[[tense music]
[door slams]
[birds chirping]
[gentle music]
- All's I know is my boy was minding his
own God damn business when that kid
of yours jumped on top of him.
My guess is he was tryin'
to get fruity with my boy.
- What's fruity?
- Our son is not the problem.
It's you and your family.
You're a blight on this neighborhood.
Why don't you do everyone
a favor and move?
- Go to hell you dumb b*stard.
- Will you please watch your
language in front of our son?
We're trying to teach him proper manners.
- [Narrator] Kevin didn't much care
for anyone talking to mom like that,
so he decided Mr. Benson could
use a lesson in manners himself.
So Kevin bit his shin.
[Mr. Benson groaning]
[Anastasia laughing]
[Mr. Benson groaning]
- You're all a bunch of animals.
- Go to hell!
We ain't no different than nobody else.
- Hey hot stuff!
You wanna tear of a quick
one before your fat son
of a b*tch husband gets back from beating
up on them construction workers?
[chuckling]
[playful music]
- Now if you a-holes will excuse me,
I got some business to take care of.
[romantic music]
[door latching]
- What's a quick one?
- [Mr. Benson] Uh, we'll
explain it to you later son.
[Kevin munching]
[tense music]
[playful music]
- Ain't you had enough
of a beating for one day?
- I've been beat worse
mister, so you can go to hell.
[playful music]
- Ah, he's too stupid
to know when to quit.
- You're next prick.
[gentle music]
[fist thuds]
[tense music]
You're startin' to piss me off now.
[playful music]
- I best be gettin' goin'
before Percy comes home.
- You comin' back around tonight?
- Uh, I gotta work.
- How long you gonna be gone?
- Six days on account
of I can't drive through
the States because of
the outstanding warrants.
I gotta go the long way
up through Thunder Bay.
- I'm gonna miss you baby.
Sleepin' with Percy just ain't the same
'cause of his drinkin' and fatness.
- Just as long as he
don't find out nothing
about us because uh, I
don't wanna cross Percy.
[upbeat music]
- Hey lunatic!
Sounds to me that Charlie might be willing
to cough up some money
so that you don't tell
the old man him havin'
relations with your momma.
Lots of money equals lots of cigarettes
and liquor for you and Allan.
- [Narrator] Even though
Allan was an imaginary goose
and only existed in Kevin's head,
Kevin was still having a little
trouble following the plan.
- Jesus you're dumb boy.
- [Narrator] Kevin didn't
much like being called names,
so he figured he'd learn the
son of a b*tch goose a lesson.
[fist whacking]
[dramatic music]
- Now pay attention this time
you little alcoholic freak.
[gentle music]
[truck engine rumbling]
- You sure can take a punch Mr. Spencer.
- One time when I was in
prison a guy hit me so hard
in the gut that he ruptured my spleen.
Doctor told me I'd have to quit drinkin'.
So I told him to F off
and hit one of them.
They put me in solitary for three weeks
and I got withdrawals so
bad I used to hit my head
on the wall so that I'd get knocked
out and not miss the booze so much.
[playful music]
- Have you ever considered
maybe fighting professionally?
- Ain't no way I'd pass the drug test.
- Well you know when I say professionally,
I mean illegally professional.
I organize fights down at the docks.
There's a guy who's undefeated.
They're posting 20 to
one odds that no man can
go six rounds with him
without being knocked out.
- How much am I gonna get paid?
- I'll give you $50 a round
if you go all six rounds.
- What's that work out to in hundreds?
- That's $200 you moron!
- I'll do it on one condition.
Don't tell my old lady about the dough.
- It's a deal Percy.
Meet us here Friday night at 6 o'clock.
You're going to make
us both very rich men.
[dramatic music]
- You want I should call your bookie boss?
- Yeah, I got 10 grand says the
dumb fat b*stard dies in the ring.
[all laughing]
- Hey, can I get an advance on my pay?
I'm outta smokes.
- Sure, here's $20.
[playful music]
- Just remember what I
said about my old lady.
[door latching]
[all laughing]
[upbeat music]
- They're ruining our neighborhood
and corrupting our son.
There must be something you can do.
- There's no law against
being poor and dumb.
- Well there should be.
- We're workin' on it.
We just have to get a
few more conservatives
elected but it's a slow process.
- We've got nothing against
poor people in general.
We just think it would make more sense
for everyone concerned if
they were just put somewhere
so they wouldn't be in everyone's way.
- It's not that easy anymore.
Ever since the damn liberal media
splashed Davis Inlet all over the news,
it's getting harder and
harder to force people
into poverty and then punish them for it.
It really burns my a*s.
- So there's nothing you can do?
- Not until we've got evidence
that they're breakin' the law.
Now legally we can't set up phone
taps and surveillance cameras,
but there's no reason why you can't.
- Can't you just take them
into an interrogation room
and beat a confession out of them?
- Nah, the last thing we need is
those bleeding heart
amnesty international people
crawling down our throats again.
Those people just don't get it.
So, have you got a video camera?
- Of course.
We have a video tape library of
all the special moments in Billy's life.
- You sound like great parents.
- We believe in being
active in all aspects
of our sons life so he grows up properly.
[gentle music]
[birds chirping]
[tense music]
- Hey boy?
[playful music]
[squirrel chattering]
Daddy didn't give you your own g*n
so as you can go around wreckin' mine.
[upbeat music]
- [Narrator] Kevin was bored.
He thought pretendin' he had an allowance
and a bank account would be fun,
[phone beeps]
but it wasn't because he knew
he was only fooling himself.
So he figured he'd open a new can of paint
and play in his head for awhile.
[upbeat music]
[squirrel chattering]
[tense music]
[squirrel sniffing]
[tense music]
[car engine rumbling]
[footsteps approaching]
[tense music]
- Hey Percy, long time no see.
- I got three months for shopliftin'.
I just got out last week.
- So you was away from
home for three months?
You don't say.
[gentle music]
- Marty's gonna be your new
daddy for the next three months.
[gentle music]
- So what's new with you?
- My syphilis is back.
- Hey, mine too!
Small world huh?
How's about a pitcher of draft?
- No problem.
- I used to have a shirt
like that, 'cept I lost it.
[liquid sloshing]
- How's it going Percy?
- Hey Charlie.
- Holy smokes Percy, you working?
- My workman's comp finally kicked in.
I ain't never gonna have to work again.
- How's about uh, sharing a glass?
- How's about kissin' my fat a*s?
- Uh, I was just asking.
- You're always lookin' to
get somethin' for nothin'.
Nobody likes a freeloader Plunt.
[playful music]
[upbeat music]
[doorbell ringing]
[upbeat music]
- We don't give to charity so piss off.
- Oh, I'm not collecting for charity.
I'm an adjuster for the
Gold Plate Insurance firm.
I'm conducting a routine
followup on your husband's
long term disability
workman's compensation claim.
- He ain't home but come on in baby.
[romantic music]
- According to our records,
your husband is unable
to work because of a lower
back problem he suffered
while an employee of the Camel Toe Inn?
- He's been getting checks?
- They just started, every two weeks.
He probably got one today.
It's routine for an adjuster to stop by
and verify that he is indeed disabled.
Do you expect your
husband to be home soon?
- Not if he got a check today.
That fat son of a b*tch has probably spent
it already on booze and hookers!
- But he does have a
bad back though, right?
- Oh, yeah.
I think he's uh, at the doctors
right now gettin' rehabilitated.
[upbeat music]
- How's about you and me
runnin' away together?
I'm pretty good in the
sack when I'm sober.
[upbeat music]
[alarm buzzing]
Uh oh!
[upbeat music]
[tense music]
[Percy grunting]
Oh!
[squirrel chattering]
[upbeat music]
[squirrel chattering]
- Uh, you wanna find another bar Percy?
- Only ones I ain't been
banned from is too far away.
- Hey, ain't that your boy?
[squirrel chattering]
[upbeat music]
What do you think he's doing?
- Work em boy, work em!
He's fighting a squirrel that
lives out back at my place.
Them two is always getting into it.
Come on, let's get over there quick.
The boys got smokes.
[footsteps approaching]
[upbeat music]
Hang on boy, daddy's comin'.
[footsteps approaching]
[upbeat music]
[squirrel chattering]
[garbage banging]
- Oh!
[squirrel chattering]
[garbage banging]
[playful music]
[squirrel chattering]
[playful music]
[objects clattering]
- Geez boy, I thought you
was gonna take him this time.
- Ask him about the smokes.
- Me and Charlie was wonderin'
if you could give us a few smokes?
- Just to cover us until we get home.
I'll pay you back, honest.
Why is he ain't saying nothing?
- He's thinkin'.
It take him longer then most people
'cause he ain't got the
right amount of chromosomes,
at least that's what the doctors say
but it could just be that he's stupid.
So, what's it gonna be boy?
- [Narrator] Kevin weighed
all the options carefully,
but in the end he decided
he would follow the advice
of his imaginary friend,
Allan the Magic Goose.
- Tell them useless sons
of b*tches to get their
own damn smokes and if they
got a problem with that
to leave you alone and
take it up with Allan.
[playful music]
- You hold him while I get the smokes.
- [Narrator] Kevin didn't know
what to do and he was scared.
He wasn't much in the mood to get
his a*s whooped and lose his smokes.
Then Kevin got an idea.
He took the pictures he'd
taken of Charlie and his mom
and he showed them to the old man.
- Them ain't smokes.
What the f'ing hell?
[romantic music]
Hang on just a minute.
Them look like my bottles Plunt.
[chuckles]
- Uh, funny how the lighting
sorta makes you look like me.
[chuckles]
Uh, you know what they say uh,
the camera adds uh, 70 pounds.
- What did I tell you about drinkin'
my booze and bangin' my wife Plunt?
- [Narrator] Showin' the
photos to his old man
meant Kevin wasn't going to
be able to blackmail Charlie
anymore but it also meant
he wasn't gonna have
to worry about where his
next smoke was coming from.
[upbeat music]
[birds chirping]
[Percy gulping]
- You've been getting
workman's comp and not sharin'.
- I earned that money, it's mine.
- You better start being a provider.
I got needs!
[Anastasia groaning]
The boy maybe got some too.
[Percy laughing]
- [Percy] The only thing the boy
needs is a head that ain't broke.
[Anastasia laughing]
- Oh Percy, you always
could make me laugh.
[Anastasia laughing]
I got that itch baby.
How 'bout you drink at home tonight?
I'll make it worth your while.
- I can't.
I'm fightin' a guy over
at the dock tonight.
I'm gonna make $200 bucks
just for gettin' hit a lot.
That's easy money.
- Give me some money so I can go shopping.
- Get your own fatty, I gotta go.
[chair thuds]
[dramatic music]
[glass shattering]
[laughing]
Missed me!
- I'll show you, you cheap son of a b*tch!
Go get mommy the phone
boy and another Ryan 7.
[dramatic music]
[waves crashing]
- What are the odds up to?
- 20 to one says the fat drunk
don't make the six rounds, okay?
- You taking any side action?
- I'm giving five to one bones broken.
More than three bones is
an automatic double payout
and as a special one time offer only,
I'm giving 50 to one odds if
the fat drunk b*stard
dies in the ring okay?
- What kind of payday am I looking at if
that fat drunk b*stard gets a broken jaw
and broken ribs in round one,
a busted nose and ruptured
spleen in round two
and dies from massive blunt trauma to
the head during or before the fifth round?
- That's the ill*gal alien special, okay?
It pays 70 to one but he's
gotta die from head trauma.
Strokes, heart attacks, aneurysm's
or acts of God don't pay.
[tense music]
[bell ringing]
[crowd chattering]
- Ladies and gentlemen, your shop stewards
and union heads in conjunction
with certain city officials
and law enforcement
representatives is proud to present
an evening of savage violence
and unmitigated illegality.
In this corner, the undefeated champion
of ill*gal bare knuckle fighting,
with a perfect record of
four by induced coma and
a record eight by death,
Gary the Grim Reaper Morgan!
[crowd applauding]
[crowd cheering]
And his opponent, fighting out of
the corner over by them loose pallets,
some unemployed drunk named Percy Spencer.
[crowd booing]
[crowd heckling]
[Gary growling]
[tense music]
- Oh!
- [Audience Member] Knock him on his a*s!
[man laughing]
Oh, that was good!
[coughing]
- Hey my smoke.
- [Audience Member] Hit him again!
[Percy thuds]
- Get up so I can punch
your freaking face in!
And it's a God damn lie!
[crowd heckling]
- Kiss my a*s h*m*!
- Like taking candy from a baby.
- Say goodbye to the
government gravy train fat boy.
- Get up you fat boy!
- You seen my smoke?
- [Man] Beat him in the socket!
- [Audience Member] Get up!
Now!
Now!
Now!
Come on!
Come on!
Get up!
[laughing]
You fat b*stard.
- You just made a big mistake mister.
That was my last smoke.
- Come on!
[crowd heckling]
- [Man] Come on, come on.
One of you guys hit each other.
Come on.
[fist thuds]
- [Percy] Ow, my head!
[crowd cheering]
- Oh!
[fist whacking]
Oh!
[crowd cheering]
[fists whacking]
[Percy groans]
[bell ringing]
[tense music]
[foot whacking]
- Sorry, he ain't dead.
- Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
Here's your paycheck stupid.
Let's go boys.
[gentle music]
[tense music]
Mayor Jenkins, I'm gonna
need some more money
from the city to finish this project.
I believe this is all
the proper paperwork.
[clicking noise]
[fist banging]
Mr. Spencer, you lived.
- I just wanted to thank ya
for the work and the money.
I was wonderin' when my next fight was?
- Uh, I'll have to get
back to you on that.
I'm kinda busy right now.
- No problem.
Oh and one more thing.
Don't tell my old lady about the dough.
[playful music]
- Percy Spencer?
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm here to inform you that as of today
your workman's compensation is cut off.
- Don't matter none as*h*le,
there's always welfare.
Now get the hell off my property.
- Freeloading leech.
- You got a problem, take it up with
the government stupid prick.
[footsteps receding]
Take more then a stupid government
to bring Percy Spencer down.
[playful music]
[footsteps receding]
Uh oh!
[squirrels chattering]
[tense music]
[Percy screaming]
[squirrels chattering]
[tense music]
[beeping]
[upbeat music]
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ Something's wrong with that kid ♪
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ His head don't like it never did ♪
[beeping]
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ You better not cross his path ♪
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ He's a teen smokin'
alcoholic sociopath ♪
♪ Sociopath ♪
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