01x52 - Porky's Duck-livery Service/The Wabbit Who Would Be King

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ Going down the rabbit hole

♪ Where we're going
no one knows

♪ Obstacles 'round every bend

♪ Let's see where
the tunnel ends ♪

PORKY: Another
successful delivery.

[STUTTERING]
Hey, boss, I'm back.

There you are!
You're two hours behind.

There's another delivery
waiting for you over there.

Briarwood Resort is opening up
some new-fangled duck pond,

and that there's
the prize attraction.

You mess this up
and it'll be your job.

Don't worry, boss.
I got it covered.

[QUACKS]

[BABBLING]

[STUTTERING]
He's simply adorable.

What are you waiting for?

Go, go, go!

And whatever you do,

don't let that duck
out of that box!

- Oh, boy.
-[DAFFY SIGHS]

Gee, what's the matter,
little fella?

[SOBBING]

Don't cry, little duck.

If I let you out of there,
will you promise
to behave yourself?

[WHOOPING AND LAUGHING]

Thanks for springing me, chum.
Whoo-hoo!

Now, Mr. Duck, you promised
you would behave yourself.

But instead,
you are acting completely...

[STAMMERING] Daffy!

Pardon me,
but did you say I was,
"Daffy"?

Yes.

'Cause, that's my name, Rosie!

[EXCLAIMS]

[WHOOPING]

Better wrap this ham to go.

Argh!

Now, cut that out!

I gotta get you to the resort
for the grand opening.

Ooh!
Speaking of grand openings...

[WHOOPING AND LAUGHING]

Oh, dear.
I just got to get
that duck back.

Please, Mr. Duck,
could you please
get back in the box?

[WHOOPING AND LAUGHING]

Oh, brother, this guy's a pig.

[YELPS]

Gotcha!
Time to get you to that pond.

-[WHOOPING]
- Huh?

Looks like someone's
got butter feathers.

[DAFFY YODELS]

Whoo-hoo.

PORKY: Hey!

Impressive, no?

Just wait for
the show-stopper.

[PORKY SCREAMS]

[DAFFY WHOOPING]

Hey! Are you following me?

Get back here!

Now, I gotcha!

[SALSA MUSIC PLAYING]

Pardon me, ma'am,
but would you mind if I...

Ah! Si, si.

[SALSA MUSIC PLAYING]

[STAMMERS]

[CHUCKLES]

-[KISSING]
-[WOMAN SCREAMS]

-[SLAPPING]
-[GRUNTS]

[DAFFY WHOOPING]

[WHOOPING CONTINUES]

-[DAFFY LAUGHING]
-[EXCLAIMS]

[WHOOPING]

[EXCLAIMS]
That's a one spicy meat stick.

Uh-oh!

[SCREAMS]

-En garde!
- Oh, yeah?

-[BLOWS]
- Huh?

[SCREAMING]

My eyes! It burns!

This ought to make it worse.

[PORKY SCREAMING]

And, there.

That ought to do it!

[PORKY SCREAMS]

[WHISTLING]

What do you know?
Dr. Porker.

Now where'd he go?

-[WHOOPING]
-[SCREAMING]

My truck!

[STUTTERING]
I'll get you to that resort

if it's the last thing I do.

-[PORKY GRUNTS]
-[TIRES SCREECHING]

Hey! What's the big idea?

Now just get back in the box!

You get back in the box,
and see how you like it.

[STUTTERING] Hey.
Watch where you're going.

[STUTTERING] Stop mocking me!

[STUTTERING]
I'm not mocking you.

It's the road.

Look out!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[PORKY SQUEALING]

Well, what do you know,
pigs can fly.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

-[PHONE RINGING]
- Hello, boss.

ELLIOT: I just got
a call from the hotel.

And guess what?
No duck.

[WHIMPERING]

There better be a duck
in that pond in one minute.

- Or you're fired!
- Boss, I...

[DIAL TONE]

Desperate times
call for desperate...

[STAMMERING]

[SIGHS]
I better be the duck.

[QUACKING]

[WHOOPING]

And you people
thought I was crazy.

[SCREAMING]

-[BUGS GIGGLING]
- BOTH: Huh?

Never send a pig
to do a rabbit's job.

Wow!

These theme restaurants
have really gotten
out of hand.

Whoa! Look at this spread!

Don't mind if I do.

[FANFARE]

KING: And I know
the naming of my successor

will be a boring
disappointment,

as I've only one living heir,
Prince Leslie.

Yes, Uncle Scott.

Please, call me
"Your Highness."

Yes, Your Highness.

KING: I need you
to wash my feet.

And make sure you do my toes.

That fungus doesn't
scrape off by itself.

Yes, Your Majesty.

"Be my little puppet, Leslie,
wash my feet of scum."

Enjoy it while you can,
for coronation day has come.

Today I'm named successor,
and then puppet shall
pull string.

And all will do my bidding,

for I shall finally
be the king.

- Hey, Doc...
-[EXCLAIMS]

What's all the fuss?

You scared
the dickens out of me.

The King is naming me
his successor.

And forest vermin
aren't invited.

- Guards!
-[KING GASPS]

- Is that the mark of
the Plantagenet?
- BOTH: The what?

The mark on your elbow.
[GASPS] It is!

My dear subjects,
it is the mark of
the Plantagenet.

The next king has been found.

Here is your robe,
and your crown.

All hail, King Rabbit!

[COURTIERS CHEERING]

Just because someone has
a weird mark on their elbow

is no reason
to make them king.

You're probably right.
But, dem's the legends.

Yep.
Dem's the legends, Leslie.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a retirement to start.

Boca Raton, here I come!

Wow, I can't believe I'm king.

This robe, this crown,
this palace.

This deserves a celebration!

Hey guys! Let's party!

[COURTIERS CHEERING]

Ooh!
What outrageous
fortune is this?

I'm Prince Leslie,
the Lillylegs.

I should be king!

Oh, forsooth!
It's not too late.

All I must do
is get rid of that rabbit.

And then,
I shall rule them all!

Hear ye, hear ye,
everyone.

Tis time for the King's
royal gifting.

Everyone place
your coronation gift
in the bag.

Tonight the King celebrates
with presents and cake.

So I'm giving him the gift
of a poisonous snake.

[CACKLING]

A gift for
His Majesty the King!

It's a secret.

Aw, say, Doc,
I don't want all these gifts.
It's too much.

Hey, everyone!
Let's do a grab bag.

Eh, grab bag, sire?

Yeah, where we put all
the gifts into a bag.

And everyone picks one out.

Here you go, cuz.
You go first.

I'm not sure I should...

Oh, sure you should.

Pick a gift, any gift.

What? Oh no.

Ah, ah, ah. No double-dipping.

That's yours now, open it.

Is that a snake?

No, no, no, Your Majesty.
It's a...

It's a tie, see.
[STAMMERING]

Thank you, Your Highness.

Don't say I never
gave you anything.

And now, let's dance!

[COURTIERS CHEERING]

[SCREAMS]

Oh, no! Stop biting me!

[WHIMPERS]

Phew, all that dancing
really wore me out.

A good night's rest
is what you need.

- Sleep well...
-[BLOWS]

And forever.

-[CLAPPING]
- Your Highness.

What were you gonna do
with that candelabra?

Oh, this? Nothing.

Goodnight!

-[CLAPPING]
- Huh, what?

-[CLAPPING]
-[EXCLAIMS]

[GRUMBLING]

-[CLAPPING]
- Oh!

-[CLAPPING]
- Huh?

Yowza!

[PANTING]

[SCREAMING]

That's it, rabbit!

[STRAINING]

- Grab the stool.
- Huh?

Oh, good call.

I challenge you to
a duel to the d...

Whoa!

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch,
ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS] Ow!

[GRUNTING]

[GRUMBLING]

-[CUPBOARD SCRAPING]
-[STRAINING]

Have at thee, charlatan!

[GRUNTS]

Mercy, mercy, King Rabbit!

- For you have vanquished me.
- It was nothing.

Literally, I did nothing.

I've tried every
diabolical plan I know

to unseat you from the throne.

But I should have just
accepted you as king,

when I saw you had
the mark of the Plantagenet.

Oh, you mean
this thing on my elbow?

That's not
the mark of anything.

That's just a jelly stain.

I was getting tired
of being king anyway.

A jelly stain?

That means I am the king!

- KING: Hello, everyone!
- Uncle?

What are you doing here?

KING: Oh, being retired
was boring.

I mean, one can only play
so much shuttle joust.

I'm coming back to work.

I've also developed a nasty
case of athlete's foot.

Start scrubbing, nephew.

Yes, Your Majesty.

Leslie made a valid play
to overtake the court,

but in his quest
for height and king,

poor Leslie came up short.