01x08 - The Nothing Club/Loogie Llama

[bunniefuu]

Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L

♪ A

♪ Z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o ♪

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

[



Well, slinkman, are all the

Boats built to my

Specifications?

All built from your

Directions, sir.

What is this duck-billed

Pollywog saying?

He's a platypus, sir, and he

Just earned this leadership

Badge for leading the

Boat-builders in--

Oh, goody-good.

There you go.

Thank you, sir.

I will wear it proudly, and i--

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whatever.

Now let's see how these young

Boat-builders did.

Yes.

Followed my plans perfectly.

Seems seaworthy enough.

The sailors don't.

All right.

Oh, wait a minute.

What the heck is that?

Uh...

Is that a boat made of brick

And concrete?

Appears to be, sir.

And who built that wonder of

Science?

Lazlo and jelly cabin, sir.

Jelly cabin?

Ha ha ha!

Lazlo!

Have the coast guard standing

By.

Ha ha ha!

Nautical humor.

Ah, this should be good.

Sailors in launch positions.

On your mark.

Get set.

Launch!

Captain to engine room, are

You ready?

Ready!

Thrill seeker.

Ready!

Warp speed.

Warp speed.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

I am seeking thrillness!

I don't believe what I'm

Seeing.

That does it!

Because of lazlo, you all flunk!

Flunk?

Huh?

And no badges today.

No!

Let go, you pollywog.

Slinkman, get out my lazlo

Punching bag.

Yes, sir.

Grr!

Laz...lo.

[Lazlo whistling]

[Mumbling]

And lazlo...

Good morning, edward.

Good morning, samson.

Grr!

Ok.

See ya.

[Whistling]

[Mumbling]

Hi, larry.

Hi, lerd.

Hi, louie.

[Gasp]

Uh...

Hi, guys.

[Edward whispering]

Monkey boy.

Hi, ping.

Hi, edward.

What'cha talking about?

Nothing.

Everyone, periscopes down.

Periscopes down.

Radar contact off the

Starboard bow.

It's huge.

Uh-oh!

Torpedo at 9:00!

Aah!

[Music playing]

What's that?

Music?

Disco.

It's coming from that tree

House.

Tree house?

Where?

I've never noticed that

Before.

Hello?

[Music stops]

Lazlo. Quiet.

Looks like we're too late for

Whatever's up there.

[Owl hoots]

[Music starts]

[Stops]

Well, it looks like whatever's

Up there is over.

Why weren't we invited to

Whatever is up there?

Not on the list, whatever's

Up there.

Maybe it's exclusive,

Whatever's up there.

But who would make an

Exclusive whatever at camp

Kidney?

Ah, who cares?

We don't need a club.

We've got each other.

Heh heh heh.

I like to get squeaky clean,

Like a squeaky duck.

Squeaky duck.

♪ La la la la la la

Hope we didn't keep you boys

Up last night.

You know, with all of our wild

Disco music.

Yep, with our new club, we got

Pretty crazy.

What with that all-you-can-drink

Soda fountain we've installed,

You know how it is.

It's kind of funny, really.

We only had that one record to

Play.

We sure could use a good dj.

Dj?

Yep.

A club dj would be very popular.

[Hip-hop music playing]

Oh, and another thing we don't

Have is a professional bathroom

Attendant.

I hear they're all the rage in

The tree houses on park avenue.

[Toilet flushes]

Uh...

Yep, you two guys would be

Perfect for our club, as long as

You don't tell lazlo.

[Gasp]

I wouldn't join a club

Without lazlo.

No. Me, neither.

[Rooster crows]

Ahh!

Raj?

Clam?

Raj?

Clam?

Anyone?

Hello?

Good morning, fellow club

Members.

Time to party again with raj's

Monster morning mix!

[Cheering]

Raj?

Clam?

Why don't you go into your

Own club?

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

You don't have a club, do you,

Lazlo?

You've got nothing!

The nothing club!

That's your club!

The nothing club?

That's my club.

Nothing.

Ok.

Here I am--in the nothing club.

Not bad.

Here's the couch and the juice

Bar.

The rec room is down the hall

Next to the pool.

Fire exits are clearly marked.

Huh.

I think I'll move the vending

Machines next to the kitchen.

Was that a drop I felt?

I'll have to re-tar the roof

Before I lay down the new

Carpet.

Uh-oh.

Looks like I wandered into the

Hall of mirrors again.

Now, why on earth did I have

This silly thing installed?

It'll take me hours to find my

Way out.

Uhh!

Ha!

It fooled me.

It was a mirror.

Ha ha!

Wrong.

Ha!

Left turn.

Oh, ha ha ha!

That's me!

Ha ha ha!

[Chattering]

Settle down, members.

Settle down.

Now that we've gotten all the

Fun and games out of our

Systems, it's time for us to get

Down to the real reason we're

Here--to talk about how much we

Despise lazlo.

Welcome to the anti-lazlo club.

There you go.

That's a good boy.

Lazlo?

What are you doing?

Oh, hi, nina.

I was just feeding our mascot.

Our club has a dinosaur for a

Mascot.

It was a gift from the emperor

Of france.

What club?

The nothing club.

What is the nothing club?

It's a club that we make up

Together.

Together?

That's pretty cool.

Yeah.

Want to join?

Sure.

The door's open, but watch

Your head.

No need.

I raised the doorway.

Then I lowered it again.

Then I guess I bumped my

Head.

[Laughing]

Ok.

Because we all hate lazlo, I'm

Looking for bad and deplorable

Stories about him.

Anyone?

Hate lazlo?

[Chattering]

I am not feeling good about

This.

Well?

No one?

Yes, samson.

May I go to the bathroom?

No.

All right, I'll start you off.

Lazlo...

Lazlo once gave me his own

Dessert.

And that was bad why?

It wasn't my favorite flavor?

Aha!

Now we're getting somewhere.

But it's my favorite flavor

Now.

Ugh!

Chip, do you have anything?

Lazlo fixed my red bicycle

For me.

Oh, oh, and wasn't that the

Very same bicycle that got

Smashed to pieces two weeks

Later?

Yeah.

You smashed it.

Lazlo carried me 7 miles when

I broke my leg.

Yeah, and he carried me 7

Miles when I broke his leg.

Lazlo taught me how to laugh

Again.

Enough already!

Hey, what are you two doing by

The window?

It's lazlo.

He's got a pretty good club

Going on down there.

A club?

What club?

That's not a club.

That's nothing!

Don't you hear the great

Music?

Oh, yeah.

I hear it now.

I love this song.

Are you crazy?

That's no--hey, is that your

Brother down there?

Ooh, chip!

Boogie down!

Boogie-woogie!

Hey, where's that guinea pig?

Do I have to be a member to

Use the bathroom?

Restrooms are open to the

Public.

Door is open around the other

Side.

[Samson panting]

Well, samson, what do you think

Of the nothing club?

I don't know.

Uh, nothing?

Yay!

Hey.

Where are you guys going?

Stop!

Can't you see?

He's got no doors!

No walls!

My club has the best of

Everything!

Lazlo has nothing!

I've got cold soda!

Excellent, ping-pong.

I see you've found the club's

Rocket ship.

What are you doing, samson?

The toilet's all clogged up

Again!

Hey, raj.

Hey, clam.

Heh heh heh.

Hello, lazlo.

Yeah, hello.

This is, um, a little

Awkward.

Agreed.

Well, don't just stand there.

Come on in.

The front door is--

Yes, we know.

It's around the other side.

Yay!

I don't get it.

I just don't get it.

Lazlo, lazlo, lazlo, lazlo!

What am I going to do with all

This anti-lazlo merchandise?

[Toilet flushes]

Hey, edward.

Over here!

Come on in!

Come on in where?

Don't bother with the

Doorbell.

We couldn't hear it anyway.

The music's too loud!

There is no music.

Door is that way.

There is no door.

I don't see anything.

I don't hear anything!

[Sound of door opening]

[Music playing]

Wait a minute.

I hear it.

I hear it!

I hear it!

Ha ha!

Hold it.

You're the mutated beaver who

Organized the boat-building,

Aren't you?

Well, beaver, you just turn

Right around and march on back

To the beach and salvage all of

Those boats from the bottom of

The lake and build them all

Again.

Now!

Hey, edward.

Where you going?

Edward.

I wanted to thank you for this

Club.

Thanks for nothing!

G-go on.

Shoo.

Uhh!

Get out of here, you.

Shoo!

Get out of here, you.

Shoo!

And take your fleas with you!

[Roaring]

[Baa]

[Toot]
[blatt]

Turner


Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L

♪ A

♪ Z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o ♪

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

[Lazlo grunting]

Well, men, we did it.

We defeated the mighty mount

Jelly and reached the promised

Land of camp kidney!

Land of milk and honey.

Here we have everything a world

Explorer could ask for.

Ugh!

Uhh!

Plenty of food.

What do you mean ants ate all

Our food?

Safe shelter.

Aah!

And the most necessary

Necessity of all--nature.

Um, lazlo?

Scoutmaster lumpus built a fence

To keep out nature.

He said that it is too

Distracting.

Well...

We have ants.

Aah!

I'm bored.

Me, too.

Hmm.

Want to go for a ride?

Whatever.

Ahh!

Ants are so exciting!

[Horse neighs]

Look how fast that one is.

He's walking on his tiptoes!

[Neighs]

I love you.

Aah!

[Gasp]

Oh, hello, lazlo.

Where's your stable?

Uh, what?

Ha ha!

Don't tell me you don't have a

Stable.

Where do you keep your riding

Animals?

We don't have any animals.

We used to have an ant.

[Grumbling]

Oh, well.

Pity.

Come on, girls.

Let's go back to our camp.

This camp doesn't have anything.

Huh.

Bye, lazlo.

We'll catch you later.

Oh, my gosh.

They're right.

Camp kidney doesn't have

Anything.

Well, we may not have anything

Yet, but we can harness our

Woodsman's skills and do...this.

[Yodeling]

And what exactly was that?

The mating call of the riding

Animal.

Now we just have to wait for a

Herd of them to gallop into

Camp.

[Galloping]

Lazlo.

Could you put a lid on the

Yodeling?

You've shattered samson's

Glasses again.

What?

Who said that?

That wasn't yodeling, edward.

That was the call of the riding

Animal.

Ahh, ooh, aah, ooh!

I don't think your call went

Through.

Why don't you try a little

Louder?

Ha ha ha!

Ok.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Uh...

Aah, ooh, aah, ooh!

[Galloping]

He's coming!

He answered my call!

[Coughing]

[Flies buzzing]

What is that?

Pew!

I don't know who you called,

Lazlo, but I think it was a

Wrong number.

Nonsense.

Our needs are now met.

This spectacular riding animal

Is a--

Smelly, crusty, bathroom rug?

No.

Compost heap?

No, no.

It's a--it's a--

Ptooey!

A llama!

I'll call him spitty.

Why don't you call him stinky

Stenchy, the I smell like rotten

Eggs cow patty hairbal?

Guys, guys.

Don't you see?

Camp kidney finally has its very

Own riding animal.

With just a little help, spitty

Can easily become another

Special part of the camp kidney

Experience.

Ptooey!

♪ Everybody loves

My little loogie llama

He's my knock-kneed frumpy

Hock, hock a loogie

Lock, lock, a loogie

He's got a big, round frumpy

He's so cute

His chest hair smells

Like cheddar

Hock, hock a loogie

Lock, lock a loogie

Make a smelly sweater

Everybody wants to ride

My loogie llama

But he has weak knees

He'll spit and look

You'd have more luck

Riding all his fleas

Singing a song

That can't be wrong

With a loogity, loogity

Noogity, boogity

Spittily, wittily

Piddly, diddly

Hobbly, wobbly

Boggily, doggily

He's my loogie llama

He's my loogie llama ♪

Lazlo.

That's no riding animal.

Yeah, he can barely even hold

Himself up.

Yeah, and he's got fleas.

Our fleas.

[All chattering]

That bag of fleas has got to

Go.

[Galloping]

Hey, lazlo.

Would you and your boys care to

Go for a pony ride with us?

Don't you rember?

Their camp is too lame to have

Horses.

Who needs horses when we have

Something better.

Like what?

Like, uh, um, oh, um...

A unicorn!

U..

Ni...

Corn?

That's right.

I don't believe it.

Just hold on.

Be right back.

Uh, what are you doing?

We need to get rid of this

Thing.

Wait a second.

I have an idea.

If it's your idea, it's got

To be full of holes.

Now, what can I use for a--

Ah.

Perfect!

Instant unicorn!

Come on, boy.

We need to show you off.

Here he is, girls.

[Gasp]

He's magnificent.

And he's magical, and he can

Tell fortunes, glow in the dark.

Oh, and he can fly.

Lazlo!

We got to have him!

Gretchen!

No, gretchen.

All right, lazlo.

How much do you want for him?

This fine and rare animal

Isn't for sale.

Why, he's like one of the

Family.

We'll trade you two of our

Horses.

No, thanks.

What's that idiot doing?

All of our horses.

Come on, boy.

Time for a little walk in the

Clouds.

Ok, ok!

All of our horses.

And a loaf of bana bread.

Bana bread?

Yes.

We baked it just--

Deal!

Hey, squirrely.

Thanks for the atmosphere.

Anytime, laz.

[Cheering]

Enjoy your new home.

[Horses neighing]

Look at how much fun everyone

Is having.

Chip, heads up!

Uh, yeah.

What's the matter?

I just kind of miss spitty.

His cute, rotten disposition.

His filthy, matted hair.

Big, yellow teeth.

I even miss him spitting at me!

[Sobbing]

[Lazlo snoring]

[Low roaring]

Spitty!

Aah, uhh, uhh!

[Howling]

You want to do what?

We need to trade the horses

Back to the squirrel scouts and

Bring spitty home.

He's a bean scout.

He needs us.

The only thing spitty needs

Is a bath.

[Laughter]

Yeah!

And a visit to the groomer.

And flea spray.

Ha ha ha!

And exactly what is wrong

With all of that?

Dave?

Ping-pong?

When was the last time you two

Made a trip to the showers?

And, samson, I've seen new

Carpets that don't shed as much

As you.

Chip, skip, let he who is

Without fleas cast the first

Pebble!

As much as it sickens me to

Admit it, lazlo's right.

That 4-legged dumpster is, in

Fact, a...

Bean scout!

Bean scouts, let's saddle up.

[Rumbling]

Shh.

I think I see them at the food

Pavilion.

Ah, yes.

There's nina and there's patsy

And gretchen and, and...

Spitty!

He's having tea!

Hey, squirrel scouts.

Bean scouts don't drink tea.

Lazlo.

What are you doing here?

Yeah, and what bean scout?

We were just having tea with our

Unicorn.

Unicorn?

What unicorn?

Aah!

Aah!

Uhh!

[Cheering]

[Groaning]

But, lazlo, why do we have to

Let him go?

He's a bean scout.

Well, samson, I just think

Spitty will be better off in the

Great wide open.

The risk of him ending up

Drinking tea with the squirrel

Scouts is just too great.

G-go on.

Shoo.

Uhh!

Get out of here, you.

Shoo!

And take your fleas with you!

Bye, spitty.

[Roaring]

What?

Spitty?

[Gurgling]

G-go on.

Shoo.

Uhh!

Get out of here, you.

Shoo!

Get out of here, you.

Shoo!

And take your fleas with you!

[Roaring]

[Baa]

[Toot]
[blatt]