02x01 - Hallobeanies/Meatman

[bunniefuu]

Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o

♪ L

♪ A

♪ Z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yodel-ay-eee

Are you sure you'll be all

Right here by yourself,

Scoutmaster lumpus?

Don't worry about me,

Slinkman.

I'll finally get some rest and

Relaxation and some much-needed

Pampering.

Ok, well, happy halloween.

Yeah, yeah, happy

Hallo-whatever.

Have a safe trip away from here,

All you adorable little

Creatures...of the black lagoon.

Ah!

Finally!

[Humming a tune]

[Hammering]

Heh heh heh!

[Wolf howling]

[Owl hooting]

♪ I adore halloween

Oh, yes, I do

But not for the things

That go boo!

When the scouts

Have all gone home

Leaving this moose all alone

To relax on halloween

Like grownups do ♪

[Chuckling]

♪ I deserve to be pampered

In every single way

All alone in the woods

Am I scared? No way!

This executive routine

Takes a break on halloween ♪

Thank the season those jelly

Beans aren't around.

[Chuckling]

♪ I adore halloween

Oh, yes, I do

I adore halloween

Oh, yes, I do ♪

[Crash]

Ooh, spooky!

Very halloweenie!

Oh, lazlo, don't you think we

Should have gone home with the

Other scouts?

What, and miss out on

Spending halloween at camp

Kidney and prickly pines?

They don't know what they're

Missing.

What exactly are they

Missing?

Only the chance to dress up

In scary costumes and march

Through the woods from house to

House, walking up to the porch

With the winds a-howling...

[Imitates wind whooshing]

Knocking on the door, and

Reciting the 3 magic words.

Magic words?

Trick or treat!

Aaah!

Trick or treat!

And then what?

Then what?

Then they give us candy.

Eee!

Candy?

All-you-can-eat gumdrops,

Sugar smithies, frosted fizzies,

Caramel apples, and chocolate

Bunnies.

Chocolate bunnies?

Halloween bunnies.

Oh, I love halloween bunnies!

But you must believe in

Halloween, for those who don't

Believe will get tormented by

The curse of the halloween

Spirit.

What does the curse look

Like?

Like a scary monster or

Something.

Oh.

I do believe!

Believe!

[Radio stations tuning in

And out]

Ah.

Start with some calming music,

A little mood lighting, some

Bubbly from my private stock of

Ginger ale.

Hello, ginger.

And le piece de resistance--

Ahem--all the confiscated candy

From the past year, organized

Neatly by month, of course.

The mother lode.

[Laughing evilly]

Ooh, this one'll do.

[Humming a tune]

Mmm!

Oatmeal.

Oatmeal salad.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ok, let's see just how relaxed

This moose can get, huh?

No, no.

Awkward.

Ohhh!

My happy place.

And that was a haunting

Melody for all you halloween

Ghouls out there.

Ah, halloween is for the

Birds.

[Thunderclap]

Funny.

I don't remember rain in the

Forecast.

Rain is in the forecast.

Be quiet!

[Thunder]

Hopping edison!

What happened to the lights?

[Chuckling nervously]

No matter.

I'll just enjoy my grown-up

Evening in the dark, me and my

Sugary little pal here.

[Pounding on door]

I wonder who that could be.

I'm not expecting anyone...

[Thunder]

And I'm the only one here in

Camp.

[Thunder]

Very mysterious.

Cuckoo!

Aaah!

Aaah!

[Thunder]

[Pounding on door]

Hello?

Who is it?

[Muffled laughing]

What's that?

[Muffled laughing]

Aaah!

Trick or treat!

[Speaking gibberish]

Scary costume.

Aaah!

We have scary costumes, too.

Ooooh!

I'm a mummy!

Frankenstein!

Scary traffic cone!

Huh?

Uh, a witch.

No, no, no, no, no!

You are not really here!

Go away, whatever you are!

[Slam]

No candy?

Oh, well.

We'll just have to find another

House.

A house with candy.

Ja, with candy!

Candy, candy!

[Jabbering indistinctly]

Look!

There's a house!

Goody good!

I hope they have candy.

Get a hold of yourself.

You must be seeing things.

Bean scouts get on bus, bean

Scouts drive off, bean scouts

Knock on my door.

Very confusing.

Ok, just forget about it.

Try to relax and eat.

Yummy, yummy treat.

Ah--

[Pounding on door]

Huh?

Trick or treat!

Leave me alone!

You are not real!

Aaah!

My leg!

Aaah!

[Gasps]

Hey, lady, can we have some

Candy?

Wait a minute.

You are real.

[Sniffing]

I can smell your evil nature.

We can smell you, too, and

You smell like chocolate.

You shouldn't be smelling me!

You shouldn't even be here!

We don't believe in halloween

Here.

Well, ok, as long as you know

That those who don't believe

Will get tormented by the curse

Of the halloween spirit until

They do.

"The curse of the halloween

Spirit"--blah blah blah blah!

All I believe is that you

Mutants should leave me alone!

[Slam]

Let's go, guys.

We'll find another house.

We won't let those nasty

Little bean scouts ruin our fun,

Will we, my little

Caramel-filled buddy?

Here we go.

The lights are on here.

[Pounding on door]

What is it this time?!

[Grumbling indistinctly]

Trick or treat!

Ah, think again!

[Jabbering indistinctly]

[Pounding on door]

Trick or treat!

Go away!

[Pounding on door]

Trick or treat!

[Slam]

All right.

Let's keep going, fellas.

Do you ever notice that

People who live in the mountains

Look a lot alike?

[Pounding on door]

Trick or treat!

No!

Trick or--

No!

Trick or--

No!

Treat!

Trick or treat!

Aaah!

Trick or treat!

Trick or--trick or--trick or--

Trick or--trick or--trick or--

Treat!

[Babbling]

[Pounding on door]

Trick or treat!

Please, go away.

But we're trick-or-treating,

And so far tonight, nobody's

Given us any treats.

Well, I'm not--uh, uh,

Actually, uh, I am going to give

You boys a little treat.

Yeah.

You just wait there, my little

Goblets.

Yay!

Finally!

I'm going to scare the jelly

Out of those beans.

[Thunder]

[Laughing evilly]

Ok, we're ready now.

Hello?

Hello!

Hello?

We're ready for our...

[Thunder]

Treats.

Wow!

Treats!

[Laughing evilly]

[Roars]

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry...

[Thunder]

[Groans]

Geronimo-y!

Oh, I think this is better

Than staying home, don't you?

For sure, yes!

Mm-hmm, yes.

Hey, guys, best halloween

Ever, huh?

I'm swimming away!

See ya!

Hey, guys, I'm back.

Good thing we didn't go home

With the other campers, don't

You think?

Ha ha ha ha!

Yeah, we would have missed

Out completely.

Completely!

[All laughing]

What was that?

The curse of the halloween

Spirit.

Wait a minute.

How could it be the curse of the

Halloween spirit?

We all believe in halloween,

Don't we?

Believe!

Raj?

Um, perhaps for just a

Moment?

I've only been eating candy.

It's the curse of the

Halloween spirit!

Aaah!

[Groaning]

Locked.

No!

There's a key here someplace.

Oh, there you are.

Wahhh!

He's coming after us!

Let's get out of here!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Hide!

In there!

There!

Quick!

He's coming!

[Groaning]

Shh!

Hold still.

We are trying.

Too much candy.

T-too much candy.

Ha ha ha ha!

This is no laughing matter.

Ha ha ha ha!

He's going to hear us!

Aaah!

Let me out!

It's a zombie bear thing!

Leave me alone!

It's the curse of the halloween

Spirit.

He's after me!

[Whimpering]

Aaah!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

Aaah!

[All whimpering]

Oof!

Aaah!

I promise I'll be good, mr.

Halloween curse, uh, bear!

I'll change!

I will believe in halloween from

Now on!

[All groaning]

I believe!

Oh, please!

Shower me with your forgiveness!

Forgiveness!

Aaah!

Whee!

It's too much candy!

I do believe, I do believe, I do

Believe!

Oh!

That was the greatest

Halloween ever!

Huh?

Aaah!

Aaah!

Oh!

Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o

♪ L

♪ A

♪ Z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yodel-ay-eee

Hola, everyone.

Bonjour, ciao, aloha, and

Konnichiwa.

Guess what's on mother nature's

Menu today, campers.

Broccoli salad.

[Passes gas]

Does it at least come with

Sauce?

Of course.

Enjoy.

Next?

Hello, chef mcmuesli.

Oh, it's you guys.

So, how is your falling

Lesion soybean farm recovering?

This looks like the perfect

Spot for our pet locusts to get

Some exercise.

[Locusts buzzing]

Here!

Now go upset someone else's

Ecosystem!

Ooh, look, raj!

They look like a whole bunch of

Mini trees.

In a mini forest.

What kind of wildlife do you

Think lives in a mini forest?

I don't know.

Perhaps mini animals?

There are no mini animals in

My broccoli salad!

[Humming a tune]

Hello, I'm chef mcmuesli, and

I'm here to clear-cut this lush

Broccoli rainforest for my

Famous camp kidney broccoli

Salad.

I am not!

Timber!

Run, little mini animals!

Run from chef mcmuesli!

That's it!

You ingrates don't deserve my

Fine-crafted cuisine!

You know what you deserve?

This!

This is what you deserve!

You want lunch?

I'll give you lunch!

Meat from a can!

[Laughing evilly]

Ooh.

What kind of meat is it?

Nobody knows.

It's a mystery!

So, this is meat.

Meat that stands upright, all

By itself.

Meat.

Well, let's dig in.

[Sniffs]

[Retching]

It certainly smells interesting.

I'll say.

Stinky meat.

Clam's right.

This meat or whatever it is

Stinks and it smells and it's

Stupid!

And jiggly.

Yes, it is good jiggly fun.

Jiggly, jiggly!

Ooh, it's squishy!

Look, I'm lifting weights.

I have meat mittens.

Jiggly, jiggly, jiggly,

Jiggly!

I have a meat beard.

Me, too!

Ha ha ha ha!

Say hello to mr. Nelson, the

Meat hand puppet.

Hi!

I like meatloaf!

My hand puppet does, too!

Jiggly!

Hey, I've got an idea.

Everyone, I'd like you to meet

Meatman.

Nice to meet you, meatman.

Meatman.

Lieutenant meatman, your

Mission is to fly behind enemy

Lines and deliver this vital

Food supply to our allies at the

Designated drop zone.

Fly, meatman, fly!

He's a goner!

Meatman!

Oh, meatman!

I knew you'd be alive!

Hooray for meatman!

We'll have you flying

Dangerous missions again in no

Time.

But I am not thinking that

He'll be flying that plane again

Soon.

You're right.

It's completely destroyed beyond

All recognition, but it makes a

Great magic wand.

Behold.

I am zorloff, the dark, evil,

Magical wizard magician.

You don't look very dark and

Evil holding a smiling meatman.

Sorry, meatman.

You'll have to sit this one out.

Who dares to challenge this dark

Wizard of the jelly cabin to a

Magical duel?

We do!

The other dark wizards of the

Jelly cabin!

Take this, zorloff!

Oh.

Maybe we should be magical

Wizard buddies instead.

Good idea, raj.

Hooray!

We're the 3 magical

Wizard-teers!

[Cheering]

What's the matter,

Wizard-teer raj?

Did your wand run out of

Wizardry?

I cannot be a wizard-teer

With that thing staring at us

Like that!

What happened to meatman?

He looks kind of strange.

And stinky.

Oh, well, I'll just throw a

Pillow over him.

Out of sight, out of mind,

Right?

I don't know, lazlo.

I am still feeling his weird,

Ugly look.

I think we should play something

Outside.

Hmm, I see what you mean.

What if I change him into

Something pretty?

Like...like a meat flower?

How's that?

Badminton, anyone?

[All clamoring]

[Whistling a tune]

Hey, who changed meat flower

Back into meatman?

I did not.

Please tell me you did, clam.

I did.

Really?

No.

Then how did it get this way?

Eww.

I don't think I quite like that

Smile.

Come on, guys.

Help me get rid of this thing.

Aaah!

Phew!

I'm glad that's over with.

Eww!

My hands smell like a pureed

Circus.

[Thump thump thump]

[Thumping "shave and a haircut,

Two bits"]

[Ice cream truck music playing]

Ice cream!

Wait, clam.

We don't know what--

Pinata!

[Giggling]

Raj, wait!

[Gasps]

You guys, it's santa claus!

Santa claus?

Santa, have you seen a man

Made of meat in here?

No?

Well, say hello to mrs. Claus

For me.

Ha ha!

Easter!

Easter bunny!

Santa?

Easter bunny?

Well, which is it?

[Roaring]

You guys, it's just a scary

Monster thing.

Wait a second.

That can't be.

There's something very weird

Going on here.

Raj, do you feel ok?

Yes, I would say that I feel

Fine.

So, lazlo, do you still think

I'm stinky, smelly, and stupid?!

Aaah!

[Roars]

What's wrong?

You don't want to play with me

Anymore?

[Roars]

Let's play catch!

[Roars]

Aaah!

Scary meat rhino likeness!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Aargh!

Squawk!

Uh-oh!

Cannon meatballs!

Aargh!

Hey, mr. Meatman, nobody

Treats my friend like that.

You got a beef with somebody,

You bring it to me.

Stinky meat!

Squawk!

[Roars]

I guess we don't want to play

With you 'cause you stink.

Oh, hey, let's play badminton

Instead!

Duh!

Can I serve first?

Sure!

[Roars]

This meat has issues!

Now let's talk about what I

Want for lunch!

[Whimpering]

Attention, shoppers,

Carnivore cleanup on aisle 6!

Huh?

That's right, meatzilla!

I'm talking to you!

Meat hunter mcmuesli!

Hooray!

We're saved!

[Chanting]

Uh-oh.

I've been beefed.

Ha ha ha ha!

Now where was i?

Oh, that's right!

I was just about to eat my

Lunch!

[Whimpering]

[Whimpering]

Mmm mmm!

Meatman, i--i'm sorry.

I didn't mean to call you

Stinky, smelly, and stupid.

But that's just how I like my

Scouts--stinky, smelly, and

Stupid!

Blahhh!

Yaaah!

Yaaah!

My grandma tells a better

Ghost story than you losers.

That is no ghost story.

It really happened.

Well, if it really happened,

Then why are you guys still

Here?

Yeah.

Well, that's obvious,

Samson.

Raj and clam here sprang into

Action at the last second.

[Yawns]

Not buying it.

You're going to have to do

Better than that.

You got something on your

Nose, lazlo.

Oh, thanks, anson.

Ha ha!

Is it gone?

Uh...

[Laughing nervously]

Ha ha ha ha!

[All laughing]

Aaah!

[Evil laughter]

Huh?

Aaah!

Aaah!

Oh!