02x10 - Mascot Madness/Tomato Paste

[bunniefuu]

Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were 2 scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o

L

A

Z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o

And then that trio went to

Camp and turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o

Yodel-ai-ee ♪

[



Uh, ahh--

[Motor noises]

Beep, beep!

Pssh.

Lazlo bus lines now boarding for

Horse play, north dakota,

Whoopee, illinois,

And jolly, idaho.

All aboard!

Chip?

Did you hear something in the

Distance?

I'm too bored to focus that far.

Come on, scouts, where's your

Camp spirit?

[Snores]

Oh, no.

I had a feeling this would

Happen.

Camp kidney has lost its spirit.

Cha-ching, pssh.

Change of destination, express

Bus to find camp spirit.

Meep, meep!

Why can't that monkey just be

Bored and spiritless like the

Rest of us?

I bet he's marching off on some

Mission that'll hog all of

Lumpus' attention.

Well, he's not gonna edge me out

This time.

Meep, meep, beep, beep, beep,

Beep, be-beep, beep, beep.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Bee-beep, bee-beep--excuse me,

Scoutmaster lum--

Slinkman!

I specifically filed myself

Under "s" for sleep, and I knew

This balloon was a bad idea.

Wow.

What are you lookin' at?

These pictures you dropped.

Diplomat duck, disco octopus,

Who are these scouts?

Oh, these costumed derelicts.

They're past camp kidney

Mascots.

Cool.

What's a mascot?

You know, a mascot.

They dress up ridiculously and

They compete with other mascots,

You know, that sort of thing.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Can I be the new mascot?

Please, me--

Hold on there.

Why does this primate get to

Automatically be camp mascot?

Why not me?

I'm...

Loaded with camp spirit.

Oh, gee, you both deserve it.

Why don't you make a contest out

Of it?

A contest?

Yeah!

That's great!

I'll be the candy,

And I'll be the fudge,

And you, scoutmaster lumpus,

You'll be the judge!

Ah, ha--what?

Oh, no you don't.

And you'll be the judge.

And I'll be the judge!

Attention, campers, mandatory

Auditions for camp mascot are

Being held now in the activity

Area.

Tallyho.

What are you supposed to be?

I'm the judge.

Ok, here's your water, judge.

Why, thank you.

I judge this water to be

Excellent.

Oh, brother.

First up are dave and

Ping-pong,

The living clothesline.

We got the neck.

We got the nose.

We got the cleanest

Bean scout clothes.

Give us a "c"!

Seriously, give us a "c".

We don't have one.

Next up is samson the peppy

Penguin.

Coming!

Oh, uh, oh, uh.

[Mumbling]

Ok.

Boom, chaka laka laka,

Boom, chaka laka laka,

Boom, chaka laka laka,

Boom.

Boom chaka laka laka,

Boom chaka laka laka,

Laka laka laka laka, boom!

Laka laka laka laka,

Laka laka laka laka,

Laka laka laka laka,

Laka laka laka laka, boom!

Oh.

And up now is chip and skip

With their mascot tribute to

Scoutmaster lumpus.

Right.

Right.

Where's your mascot costume?

You're lookin' at it.

It's a good try, scouts, but

You'll have to make your costume

A little bigger if you want us

To see it.

I told you to use your index

Finger and not your pinky.

Up next is someone by the

Name of--the duke of lice?

Ah, ha ha ha ha ha.

Give me an itch,

Give me a scratch,

I'll bite your head,

I come in a batch,

I'm the lice, stook the lice,

Stook the duke of the lice.

I've got spirit,

But I ain't too nice.

[Growls]

[Cricket chirps]

Why isn't anybody cheering?

Oh, wait, my finale.

I forgot to do my finale,

The lice cannon!

[Screaming]

Ok, thank you, edward.

Next.

And now our last contestants,

Raj and clam, as the jumping

Beans.

One cornmeal tortilla.

Hola, compadres!

Arriba, arriba, arriba-riba,

Arriba, arriba, arriba.

Arriba, arriba, arriba.

Hooray!

[Speaking spanish]

[Speaking spanish]

Ai, yai yai yai,

Ai, yai yai yai yai.

How many costume changes are

They allowed?

Yeah!

That was great, raj.

Yah!

And the costume does not even

Give me heartburn.

[Clears throat]

I know that the winner won't be

Announced until tomorrow, but

It's obvious that raj and clam

Are the winners.

[Sighs]

So, I'm throwing a

Congratulations party in the

Marshmallow shack tonight.

You're all invited.

Now that's what I call

Sportsmanship.

Dirty duke of lice!

I didn't even know you could

Hold parties in the marshmallow

Shack, you know, it is usually

Off-limits.

Here we are.

We're here to party.

Hello?

Um, maybe we're early?

Why don't you turn around and

Give me a big smile.

Huh?

You know, illegally

Trespassing in the marshmallow

Shack is a very serious crime.

Punishable by expulsion.

So what do you think lumpus

Would say if he saw this?

Oh!

This is not good.

Neither is drawing.

You want us to get in

Trouble?

Oh, no, that's why I'm

Willing to make a deal.

I'll forget this whole thing

Ever happened, if you agree to

One small thing, like...

I'm the new mascot.

Me, me, me!

Ah, ha ha ha ha ha.

We wouldn't want this

Accidentally ending up in

Lumpus' office, now would we?

See you at the announcement.

I'm not letting him do this.

You guys won fair and square.

But he has a drawing!

Being mascot is not worth

Risking getting expelled from

Camp.

Bad drawing.

Hey--

What is this?

This is crazy, is what it is.

There's nothing crazy here.

Everything is as it should be.

The best scout did win.

Camp kidney, meet your new

Mascot.

The duke of lice.

No one gets under your skin like

I do.

Ooh, I'll say.

Bad drawing.

Ahh.

Oh, look at that, camp kidney's

Got a new mascot.

Who the heck is edward?

Me!

Me, I'm edward.

I'm the new mascot, me.

The new mascot reporting for

Duty, sir, what's my first

Assignment?

Ok, ok, bring your cute

Costume to madison squirrel

Garden at acorn flats tomorrow

At noon for your first

Competition.

Madison squirrel garden!

Yeah me!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

To madison squirrel garden.

Um, lazlo?

What exactly are we doing here?

I think this is where the

Squirrel scout mascot and our

Mascot play a fun game together.

Oh, a game?

I'm just bummed it's not the

Jumping beans playing out there

Today.

Bad drawing.

Any final instructions?

Yeah, watch your back.

Let's have a big welcome to

Camp kidney's newest mascot,

Edward the duke of lice!

Yeah!

Oh, yeah, they're cheering

Me!

That's right, that's right,

You love me, woo!

And his opponent in battle--

Battle, what battle?

The squirrel scouts' old,

Undefeated mascot champion,

Ms. Mucus!

Somebody help me!

There's been a mistake,

I am not the mascot!

No, no, please, don't--

h*-hum, peel these grapes,

Will you, slinkman?

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

This does not look like a fun

Game.

Aah!

Should we help him?

Uh, well...

When I can't decide on

Something, I always make a list.

Make list.

We'll do pros and cons to

Helping edward.

Aah!

[Growls]

Ok, the list is done.

How did we do?

Well, lots of reasons not to

Help edward.

Bad drawing?

Yeah, got him there.

Let's read the reasons to

Help him.

Ok, edward is a bean scout.

Is that it?

Yup.

Stay right where you are,

Platypus boy.

[Crying]

If we want to save camp

Spirit and edward, that may be

The best reason yet.

Save the duke of lice.

Save the duke of lice!

Save edward!

[Growls]

Over here!

Over here, ahora!

Oh, uh.

Wait right here.

Aah!

The living clothesline.

Uh!

Heavy penguin to the rescue!

Aah!

Uh!

Aah!

Hey, lazlo.

Is this mascot big enough?

[Growls]

Boy is that thing ugly.

[Snorts]

Come out and fight like a man.

How about like a lice duke?

Cannon.

Lice cannon.

Aah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Way to go, yeah!

Well, there goes our camp

Spirit.

Just wait till next year.

Way to go, edward.

You single-handedly restored

Camp kidney's spirit.

Yeah, that's what bein' a

Mascot is all about.

Nice goin', polliwog.

You're the first mascot ever to

Survive.

Maybe next week when we meet

Camp piranha I won't bet against

You.

See.

Thank you, sir, I will be

There with pride, because I'm

The mascot, I'm the mascot!

I'm the mascot!

Yup, camp kidney, they know

How to have a good time down

There.

Brr, brr, brrp.

Ha ha, woo, hah.

Oh, he really got me good there.

Ha ha ha!

That's one of my many patented

Defensive positions.

Trick is to lean into the

Sauce, lean into it.

Ah, oh, no fair callin' in air

Strikes.

Oh, ha ha ha ha ha.

Ah, look at me, I am a mess,

Ha ha ha ha ha.

[Blows horn]

Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were 2 scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o

L

A

Z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o

And then that trio went to

Camp and turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o

Yodel-ai-ee ♪

Welcome to camp kidney's

Annual merit badge ceremony.

And since no campers actually

Did anything this summer, we'll

Call it the almost merit badge

Ceremony.

[Cheering]

Wha--the--oh.

So, let's get things rolling

With the jelly bean cabin.

[Cheering]

Lazlo, if you had actually

Used cleaning supplies to scrub

Down your cabin, you may have

Earned this good housekeeping

Badge.

Almost.

[Cheering]

Next.

You gonna call me up or what?

Fine, come up here, edward.

Edward of pinto cabin, for--

[Cheering]

Badges deluxe.

Wh--yah--

Yes, thank you.

Look at these.

Whoa-h*.

What's all the commotion

About?

It appears as though edward

Has earned every badge possible.

So, big deal.

Well, it is a big deal,

Because this means that edward

Will be promoted from bean scout

To tomato scout.

Tomato scout?

Poor kid, you couldn't pay me

Enough to relive that promotion.

I'll have to notify commander

Hoo-hah immediately.

Tomato scouts must be approved

By him personally.

What is it with you,

Slinkman?

Why do you always have to go,

Huh?

For the very same day I got

My motorcycle repair badge,

I got my mouth to mouth

Resuscitation badge, if you know

What I mean.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Uh, edward, could I have a

Word with you?

Certainly, if you fans will

All excuse me.

Your transfer to tomato camp

Has all been arranged.

Hoo-hah will be here shortly.

T-tomato camp?

W-w--

Well, surely you knew that

Earning all those badges gets

You promoted to tomato scout.

I--well--i sure, but what's

A tomato scout again?

[Horn plays]

Which one of you maggots is

Edward?

Hoo-hah, hoo-hah, hoo-hah,

Hoo-hah, hoo--hoo, ah.

He's right here, mr. Hoo-hah,

Sir.

[Gulps]

Hmm...

I like this kid.

Scoutmaster, get my luggage.

Yes, sir.

Oh.

I think you're gonna like

Your new home, son.

Commander hoo-hah, about your

Sleeping arrangement--

I'll be staying right here in

The scoutmaster's cabin.

What did he say?

Ahh, let's take a sneak peek

At the good life at tomato scout

Camp, ah, ha ha.

Hit the lights!

And...there she is.

Tomato scout camp.

A clean environment with no

Distractions, where every meal

Is an all you can eat meal.

Gruel, dirt bran, and coffee

Grinds.

So what do you think so far,

Boy?

Uh, i--uh--

Efficient facilities, only

The best.

And there's always a place to

Hang out.

Your first week, you get to

Relax, and eat bugs, ha ha.

You arrive an eager young lad,

But you leave a hardened man,

Ready for the cold, cruel world.

Oh, oh, this is the good part.

Ah, these are some snapshots I

Took at last year's initiation.

But--aga--you can't make that

Up.

Will i--like, have to, uh--

But the most important part

Is the part I can't show you in

Mere pictures.

It's the way your blood will

Rush in like a thousand sinking

Ships, or is it all up here?

The most dangerous, mine field

I know.

Tomato scouts never leave the

w*r zone!

So, anyway, that's pretty much

Tomato scout camp in a nutshell.

Last camper to make it all the

Way used fake badges.

Would you ever do that, son?

No!

No!

I would never use fake

Badges.

Good.

I had to send that last faker to

Camp skull crush.

So let's see you demonstrate

Some of those more difficult

Badge skills for your fellow

Campers.

Now?

Watch and learn, scouts.

Edward here will demonstrate his

Bugle blowing skills by playing

"Reveille."

Scoutmaster!

Get the scout a bugle.

[Bugle squeaks]

Come on, edward, blow.

Ah, ha ha ha ha!

That's it, boy!

♪ Magni-fi-co

Steady, boy, you've got the

Badge to prove it.

Ready, target?

Uh, ready?

Now, keep your eye on the

Target.

Concentrate...

Breathe in, breathe out.

Fire!

Yah!

Whether in the heat of battle

Or in a gourmet kitchen, tomato

Scouts know how to make soup

With the simplest spiciest

Ingredients, ha ha.

Show 'em how you do it, son!

Uh, sure, heh heh.

Uh.

Hmm, very interesting indeed.

Scoutmaster!

Get over here and be our taste

Tester.

[Gulps]

[Bell dings]

[Horn blows]

Fine show, edward, fine show.

And as for you, lumpus.

Congratulations!

You have done an amazing job

With this young man.

M-m-me?

In fact, you've created such

A fertile garden from which

Ripe, new tomato scouts can be

Plucked, that I plan on coming

Back each and every week from

Now on to reap the cream of the

Crop.

Super.

And as for you, my fine,

Feathered friend, you will leave

For a new life first thing in

The morning.

Ha ha ha!

Ok.

I can't hear you!

Yes, sir!

At ease, dudes.

Phew.

Bedtime story, slug.

Pronto!

Coming, sir.

[Sobs]

I don't want to be a tomato

Scout.

I don't want to eat bugs.

I don't want to be a man.

Please, lumpus, you gotta help

Me.

Help you?

Because of you and your badges,

Hoo-hah's never gonna leave me

Alone.

[Sobs]

I didn't earn the badges.

I ordered them from a costume

Shop.

I just wanted to impress the

Other scouts.

Uh, you're not the only one.

How do you think I got this job?

Your life is a lie, too?

Well, I wouldn't--

You're not gonna send me to

Camp skull crush?

Not if you help me get rid of

Hoo-hah.

Deal.

Now all we have to do is come

Up with a plan.

Hmm.

[Clock ticking]

Any second now.

Anything?

Nope.

Nothing.

Now I know what you're all

Thinking.

Why wasn't it I who was chosen

To be a tomato scout?

That's not what I'm thinking.

Well, you may not smell of

Success today, but one day, you

Will reek of it, and join edward

In the pursuit of hardcore man

Stuff--

Tomato-style.

I leave you with those words of

Inspiration.

It is time to go, edward.

Edward?

Lumpus!

Where are those two idiots?

Aah!

Hah!

Yah!

Aah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Aah!

Incoming!

Aah!

Huh!

Aah!

[Horn plays]

Hoo-hah.

[Growls]

Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Bah, ha ha ha!

Oh, oh, h*, h*, you, ha ha ha!

And you, h*, h*, you got me.

Get over here.

I haven't been tomato pasted in

Years, ha ha ha.

Then you're not mad?

Not at all.

That's exactly the kind of

Spirit we need up at tomato

Scout camp.

After you, edward.

[Hums march tune]

And away we go.

Uh, excuse me?

You won't be needing this

Anymore.

Sorry.

Oh.

This is a proud moment.

See you in a week!

Wait!

[Tires screech]

What is it now?

I have something to give to

Edward.

From all of us kidney beans,

To our hero.

We'll miss you, edward.

You--you made it?

For me?

Who's edward?

Oh, brother.

Can we ju--

[Sniffs]

Hey!

What is this?

A tear?

Tomato scouts don't cry!

You see, our tear ducts are

Shriveled up from disuse.

You're no tomato scout!

You're just like the rest of

These losers.

I should've known this camp

Could never produce a real

Tomato scout.

Yeah!

[Cheering]

Hold it.

Now that you've ruined every

Tomato in camp, I won't be able

To make my famous tomato

Surprise this summer!

[Cheering]

Slinkman, what just happened?

You and edward just gave

Hoo-hah the biggest tomato

Pasting I've ever seen.

Me and the platypus thingy?

Yes, sir.

I wish I could've been there.

You were, sir.

I was?

Perhaps you should take a

Little nap, sir.

Yup, camp kidney, they know

How to have a good time down

There.

Brr, brr, brrp.

Ha ha, woo, hah.

Oh, he really got me good there.

Ha ha ha!

That's one of my many patented

Defensive positions.

Trick is to lean into the

Sauce, lean into it.

Ah, oh, no fair callin' in air

Strikes.

Oh, ha ha ha ha ha.

Ah, look at me, I am a mess,

Ha ha ha ha ha.

[Blows horn]