02x12 - There's No Place Like Gnome/Hot Spring Fever

[bunniefuu]

Attention campers.

Attention campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were 2 scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o

L--

A--

Z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o

And then that trio

Went to camp and turned it

Upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

[



Looks like they're having

A campfire, slinkman.

What a perfect time for you to

Put together my new scoutmaster

Buddy 3000 lawn chair.

Hee hee, shh!

And that's what happened

To the scouts who lived in

The cabin with only one door.

That's nothing.

Did you hear the one about

The 500-year-old smore hidden

In the rafters of the mess hall?

Um, excuse me.

And what about the legend

Of the tree that lost all

Its leaves?

A tree that lost all

Its leaves?

Freaky.

Now, come on, already.

I thought the point of a

Campfire was to tell scary

Tales, not fairy tales.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ooh, ooh.

If we're gonna tell fairy

Stories, can I tell the one

About the magical wood gnomes?

Ha ha.

I would rather read the

Phone book than hear about

Magical wood gnomes.

But you're gonna tell us anyway,

Aren't you?

The legend has it that the

Magical wood gnomes have roamed

The pimpleback mountains for

Centuries, and no one has ever

Seen them.

But every 20 years, they frolic

To camp kidney to choose a lucky

Bean scout to come with them.

They bite the leg of the chosen

Scout, turning him into an

Actual wood gnome.

Deborah dinglehopper,

Dennis dinglehopper,

Dingle dinglehopper.

And at sundown, they come

And whisk him away to a life

Of magical wonder.

Ahh.

Say, lazlo, let's get back to

Telling scary stories.

Want to hear one?

Ok.

You people are making my head

Explode!

I'm gonna get some cheese for

All this baloney.

Keep an eye out for any

Magical wood gnomes, edward.

Keep your eye out, blah,

Blah, blue, blah, edward.

Can't even hear a decent scary

Story at camp.

Wood gnomes.

Sheesh.

I--i'm not scared.

Aah!

An ant--whoa!

[Crunch]

Aah!

Help, something bit me!

No!

Sounds like a screaming

Camper in need, sir.

Wonderful.

Perfect timing to try out my

Lawn chair 3000 ear plugs.

Ahh.

Edward, are you ok?

Yeah, yeah.

I think something in that bush

Bit me.

A...

Wood gnome.

Magical.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

What happened?

Edward got bit by

A wood gnome.

Wow.

Wait a minute,

I never said wood gnome.

What's going on?

Edward's gonna live the

Magical life of a wood gnome

By sundown.

It's so exciting.

I'm jealous.

Lucky.

It was not a wood gnome!

It was just a big spider or

Something.

This is amazing.

This is not amazing.

It's just a stupid baby

Fairy tale.

Ahh.

[Snoring]

Rise and shine,

Me laddie gnome.

Aah!

We've only a few short hours

To prepare.

Prepare for what?

This.

"So you're going to be

A gnome."

It's just a little scrapbook

I threw together this morning.

A few hundred pages of

Wood gnome facts, figures,

And advice.

Go ahead, start reading.

Done?

All right.

Let's dance.

Dance?

♪ Oh, giddy is the life

Of a jolly wood gnome

They have long beards

And they love your lawn

They dance little jigs

In their little gnome homes

Hooray for the life

Of a jolly wood gnome ♪

Great.

Can I go now?

♪ Ooh, giddy is the life

Of a jolly wood gnome

They wear long beards

And they love your lawn

They do little jigs

In their little gnome homes

So grand is the life

Of a jolly wood gnome ♪

Ha ha ha.

It's the gnome song!

The song for the gnomes!

Hey, slinkman.

What's going on?

It's edward.

He got bit by a jolly

Wood gnome.

By sundown, he'll live a life

Of magical wonder.

You know--

♪ Giddy is the life

Of a jolly wood gnome ♪

Wait a minute.

Jolly wood gnome?

No, no, no.

That's not how it goes.

It's beware the teeth of the

Deadly wood gnomes.

They'll bite your leg when

You're all alone.

Then they'll drag you back to

Their little gnome home.

Where they'll boil you for stew

Till you're nothing but bone.

Oh, my.

Look at the time.

Catch you later, ed.

Ok, good-bye!

Oh, edward!

I'm sorry I got the song wrong,

Buddy.

Wait, don't go.

I don't want to get eaten.

[Wailing]

My final moments are gonna be

Spent in the mouths of

Pink cheeked bearded miniature

Mutants that inspired hideous

Lawn ornaments.

How am I gonna explain this

To my mother?

Well, there may be a way,

But it's very difficult.

Everything with mother

Is difficult.

No, I mean to stop the gnomes

From eating you.

There is?

What is it?

I'll do anything.

You only have till sunset.

Yeah, go on.

You must pluck a single nose

Hair from...

Yow!

A moose.

But the only moose in camp

Is--

[Snores]

Hmm.

Scoutmaster lumpus?

What?

Can I have a new uniform?

'Cause this one has a snag.

No!

But I can't ignore something

So obvious.

Can I have an ice cream

Sandwich with red and green

Sprinkles?

Can we have a--

Is that a no?

Hey, can I have a cookie?

Retreat.

Retreat, retreat!

Maybe I should put it in

Deflect annoying questions mode.

Can I have one of your

Nose hairs...

Scoutmaster lumpus?

[Smack]

Hey, ed.

Love to help you, but you're

Gonna get eaten, so see ya.

[Laughs]

This better be important.

Ooh, a pie for me?

Hee hee hee.

Tissue?

What?

Oh, thank you.

Ah--blah!

Can you blow again?

This one doesn't have any

Nose hairs.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

[Grumbles]

Maybe a quick shave'll help

Me relax.

Num, num, num, num, num.

[Smack]

Uh!

It's almost sunset.

Dave, ping-pong, you got to help

Me get past lumpus's scout chair

Before the gnomes eat me.

Chip, skip, my dearest,

Oldest pals, you got to help me.

[Laughing]

Oh, hey there, fellas.

We're all gonna go pluck one

Of lumpus's nose hairs so I

Don't get eaten by gnomes.

What do you say?

[Sobbing]

I don't want to be boiled

To the bone.

[Wails]

I'm sorry, buddy.

This is all my fault.

If only we had a nose hair

From lumpy.

It's no use.

But can't we just try

Something together,

B-before you get boiled?

[Wails]

[Snores]

Hey!

[Slap]

[Thud]

See?

Look.

He's asleep.

This is never gonna work.

Shh, don't focus on the

Negative.

Focus on the nose hair.

Now reach slowly.

There you go, edward.

That's it.

Easy...

Easy...

No, wait!

Grab the big one.

There you go.

I--i'm getting it.

That's it, edward.

I'm getting it--

Almost...

Aah!

Sunset.

The gnomes!

I-it's too late!

[Rustling]

What's that?

Just the wind...and a couple

Of sets of eyeballs.

Oh, no.

Aah!

I'm going in, edward.

Are you with me or not?

Let's do this.

Nose hair!

Huh?

Aah!

Aah!

Pull!

Aah!

Yeah!

Go, edward!

Get back here--chair--chair--

Yah!

Yow!

You want a nose hair,

You stupid gnomes?

Here, take it!

Edward lives!

Yeah!

Woo!

Hurray for edward!

Hey, when did everyone--

You did it, edward.

You scared off the gnomes.

We did it, lazlo.

I'm not gonna be eaten.

[Beeping]

Uh-oh.

Aah!

So then what happened?

Well, after I convinced them

All that gnomes ate campers,

Edward yanked out one of the

Poor boy's nose hairs.

[Laughing]

I do what I can.

Oh, you are the best,

Slinkman.

Only you could pull off a caper

Of that magnitude.

Oh, shucks, i--

Help me, slinkman.

Slinkman!

Attention campers.

Attention campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were 2 scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o

L--

A--

Z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o

And then that trio

Went to camp and turned it

Upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

I will be right back.

I am going out to get some

Chutney.

[Whistles]

Hmm, hmm.

There you are, my old friend.

My own secret hot spring.

[Humming]

Ahh.

Oh, ohh.

Good thing for my hot spring,

Or I'd be pimple boy for sure.

Ha ha ha ha.

♪ So happy for the husk ha ha ha

Happy for the husk ha ha ha ha ♪

Till next time,

My secret friend.

[Humming]

Ah.

My secret hot spring.

Mmm.

Ehh.

I can breathe again.

My secret is safe.

Hey, raj.

Want to join us at the lake?

No, thank you.

I'm off to get more chutney.

Where are you going, samson?

Belgium.

I'll be back for lunch.

Whoops, my shoelace.

Ahh.

Ahh, ahh.

Ah, ha ha ha.

Either the springs are quite

Effervescent today, or there is

A water beast in my hot spring.

Aah!

Aah!

Get away, you water--

It's me, samson!

Samson?

What are you doing in my private

Hot spring?

What do you mean your private

Hot spring?

This is my own private nasal

Therapy bath.

I found it first.

No, you didn't.

I've been coming here for

A month.

Impossible.

I found it a year ago.

I found it 10 years ago.

I found it forever.

This is my secret spot,

And you are going to leave.

Oh, no, I am not.

Huh.

If you do not leave right

Now, I will tell the whole camp

Your gross secret.

What?

I don't have any gross secret.

Mm-hmm.

What is that supposed

To mean?

I've heard that you--

[Whispers]

Raj, you wouldn't tell anyone

About that, would you?

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

You win.

So long.

I will enjoy my hot springs all

By myself, thank you.

Oh, no.

Oh, I knew this would happen

Without my hot springs.

There must be something he

Doesn't want people to know.

Ha ha ha ha.

♪ La, la la la, la

He's getting out.

Wow, wha--ha, what is that?

I think I just found what I was

Looking for.

Ha ha ha.

Chutney.

Ha ha.

[Whistles]

Aah!

Just what do you think you're

Doing in my hot spring?

Um, I believe it's called

Nasal therapy, and it's my

Hot spring now.

See?

Are you forgetting?

I can tell the whole camp

Your secret.

Go ahead.

I've already told the whole camp

Your secret.

What are you talking about?

Psst.

[Whispers]

What!

Oh, this is bad.

This is very, very bad.

Ah, ha ha.

Ha ha ha.

It's not true.

It's not true.

Dave, ping-pong, tell me you

Don't believe it.

You can't believe it.

Please, you're choking us!

What's all the rumpus?

Edward, edward, tell me that

You don't believe.

I don't believe in anything,

Baby.

What is this?

Beautiful penmanship.

Dear raj,

Ha ha, I faked you out.

I didn't tell anyone your gross

Secret.

Over.

But I will if you come anywhere

Near my hot spring.

Over.

Signed, samson clogmeyor,

Hot spring owner.

But I need the spring.

What's that on my nose?

Oh, it's beginning.

It's a pimple!

Har har, hardy har har.

Ha ha ha.

So, I see you found my note.

Get out of there or I'll tell

Your secret!

Step off, pimple nose,

Or I'll tell your secret.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Here's an american history

Lesson for you, bump trunk.

Squatter's rights.

And an indian history lesson

For you, my friend.

Nonviolent protest.

Fine.

We'll share.

Just don't come on this side.

Your side is out of style.

Yeah, well, your side

Is too hot.

Not a problem.

I have a fan.

[Whirring]

If it's too loud, you should

Leave!

I can barely hear it!

Not a problem.

We can fix that.

Oh, ha ha ha.

Mother of nature!

[Whirring]

Ha ha.

Not a problem.

What the heck are you doing

Over there?

You haven't moved for over

An hour--aah!

What is that on your face?

It's a medicated mud mask

For my combination skin.

Looks creepy.

Creepy enough to make you

Leave?

No.

How about my european swim

Trunks?

Enough to make you leave?

Almost.

[Humming]

♪ Guinea pig gals

Won't you come out tonight

Come out tonight

Come out tonight

Guinea pig gals

Won't you come out tonight

And do-si-do your partners ♪

♪ Guinea pig gals

Won't you come out tonight

Come out-- ♪

I know what you are doing.



[Singing]

Hey, quit it!

All right, that's it.

Ah!

I am going back to camp

Right now and telling everyone

Your secret.

Not before I go to camp and

Tell everyone your secret.

Our bodies are all wrinkled

From being in the water

Too long.

We are prunes.

What's going on?

I've lost control of my body.

Too bad for you,

My corrugated friend.

Sri lanka.

Oh, problems.

No worries.

Oh, no.

Oh, uh--

Ooh, hoo.

Ohh.

Err--uh, oh.

Ow.

Eee!

Ooh.

Oh, eeh--

I'm moving.

Heh heh heh heh heh.

Ooh, aah--

Oh, that bush stole my

Bathing suit!

Yah!

I don't have any pants on.

[Grunting]

Aren't old people marvelous?

They've got such verve.

[Grunting]

I am telling!

Ha ha ha.

Attention, camp kidney.

This is raj.

I didn't want to do this, but I

Am forced to reveal samson's

Most gross secret.

Samson has fat armpits!

Huh?

Yeah.

What do you think of that,

Everybody, huh?

How dare you?

Give me that microphone!

[Grunting]

Hello?

This is, uh, samson.

Uh, I am gonna expose a

Hideously gross secret

About raj.

Raj has 2 belly buttons!

No!

That's right, not one,

But count 'em--2.

One above, and one below that

He hides.

Who the heck cares about your

Gross secret?

It's your 2 shriveled bodies

That are grossing us out.

You're obviously spending

Too much time in that secret

Hot spring of yours.

They knew.

Ha ha.

But if you 2 bathing beauties

Want to see something really

Gross, check out the mystery

Rash we all got on our behinds.

Aah!

You may be one revolting

Pachyderm, but you're nowhere

Near as gross as those other

Guys.

I feel the same way about

You, my nauseating friend.

Cute boat, raj.

It is not mine.

I thought it was yours.

Well, if it's not mine and

Not yours--then, uh, raj,

Where do you think this water

Comes from?

There, all done, mr. Tuggy.

Mr. Tuggy?

So then what happened?

Well, after I convinced them

All that gnomes ate campers,

Edward yanked out one of the

Poor boy's nose hairs.

[Laughing]

I do what I can.

Oh, you are the best,

Slinkman.

Only you could pull off a caper

Of that magnitude.

Oh, shucks, i--

Help me, slinkman.

Slinkman!