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02x13 - Hello Summer Goodbye Camp

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Camp Lazlo". Aired: July 8, 2005 – March 27, 2008.*
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Series follows Lazlo, an anthropomorphic spider monkey who goes to a camp called "Camp Kidney", a Boy Scout–like summer camp in the Pimpleback Mountains.

02x13 - Hello Summer Goodbye Camp

Post by bunniefuu »

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for "camp lazlo!"

♪ There were to scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

[



We're almost at camp kidney!

Glorious summertime once

Again.

Yeah, yeah!

Camping!

[Singing]

Hi, showers!

What is going on?!

[Tires squeal]

Something's not right here.

More like something's not

Here at all.

Camp kidney?!

It's gone!

The flagpole!

The latrines.

Jelly cabin!

The mess hall!

It's still there!

There's hope!

There's no hope.

Not if I can help it.

Just what the heck is going on

Here?!

Got orders to close this

Camp.

It's been handed down too many

Times.

That's outrageous.

It's a hand-me-down camp.

Who authorized this?

Aren't you slinkman?

Yes.

But I wouldn't never--hey!

Slinkman.

Hey, boss,

What do we do with this piece of

Junk?

Throw it on the firewood

Pile.

Our totem pole!

Please, no!

If you leave us anything,

Leave our totem pole!

Or the first aid kit.

Merp!

Aw, let the poor squeak have

The totem pole.

Ok.

We're done.

Happy camping.

The day after the fourth of

July, this dirt becomes a

Parking lot.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Somebody call the cops.

Parking lot?

Fourth of july is next week.

Maybe now I can go to a cool

Camp.

Yoo-hoo, bean scouts!

Ha ha.

The squirrel scouts and I made

You some welcome back to camp

Cookies.

Ah ha!

I'll just put these in the--

[Gasps]

Oh, dear me!

What happened to your camp?!

Bad men came and took it...

Because it was old.

Don't worry about it.

I'm sure this happens all the

Time.

Ha ha ha ha.

Well, you're gonna need a place

To stay till we get this figured

Out.

Ok, everyone in the acorn cart.

Now you're talking!

All right, my little stray

Campers, now, I have some good

News and some bad news.

The--the bad news is camp kidney

Has been shut down.

For how long?

Um...

Until the end of time.

Uh, what is the good news?

Oh!

The good news is we just got

These new stools!

I hope you like them!

Because, um, they will be

Serving as your beds until we

Find you a new camp.

Hey!

Where are we supposed to eat our

Meals?!

We've arranged for a caterer

To deliver hot meals to your

Cabins.

Oh, yeah!

That's convenient.

Yeah!

Now, if there are no more

Questions.

Oh, oh!

Good!

See you in the morning.

Are we supposed to go to bed

Now?

It's only noon!

Oh, those poor dears.

Ms. Doe,

What will happen to lazlo?

Oh, ha ha!

He'll be sent to another camp.

We'll probably never see him

Again.

Ha ha ha.

Toodles!

Lazlo!

[Gasps]

Lazlo, I miss camp kidney.

Me, too.

Horribly uncomfortable.

I miss the beds.

I miss the pillows.

But now as much as the beds.

What do you miss, edward?

I don't miss anything about

That dump.

It was smelly, smudgy, and hard

To look at.

That's true.

I never thought of that.

Yeah, camp kidney was kind of

Cruddy.

Now, you heard--

And bad.

Now, you heard what that

Female deer said.

We get to stay here until they

Find us another camp.

I bet it's gonna be great.

Yeah?

I just wish this stool wasn't so

Hard.

Just rub a little stool

Softener on there.

You'll be fine.

Oh.

What do you think, lazlo?

Lazlo?

Oh, camp kidney...

Why did they have to shut you

Down?!

[Sobbing]

[Honk]

I wish there was some way

I could save you.

Hey, how's it going?

Uh...

Hi.

Fine.

Lost your camp, huh?

Yeah.

How did you know that?

Oh, I'm the big bean.

Big bean?

Biggest bean in the world.

I checked.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

I have to figure out a way to

Save my camp now.

I know how to save your camp.

You do?

Sure.

Well, can you tell me?

Sure.

But you must listen carefully,

For I shall only tell you once.

Ok, ok.

You must go into the woods.

Go into the woods.

Find the worldwide bean scout

Jamboree.

Find the worldwide bean scout

Jamboree.

And only then can I save your

Camp.

But where is this bean scout

Jamboree?

Its location will be revealed

To you once you find the rock of

Hope.

Where's the rock of hope?

The big bean has spoken!

Should I go alone?

No, bring friends.

[Shivering]

Wha?!

[Stammering]

Oh, just a dream.

Hey, everybody,

Wake up!

What?

I figured out a way to save

Camp kidney.

All we have to do is go into the

Woods and find the worldwide

Bean scout jamboree.

Ok!

How do we find it?

The location will be revealed

At the rock of hope.

Rock of hope?

Then what do we do?

Oh.

The big bean didn't say much

After that.

The big bean?

I'm sorry.

The big bean from the bottom of

The lake who visited me in my

Dream.

He said all I need to do is

Bring friends into the woods,

Find the rock of hope, and then

He'll help save camp kidney.

Ah ha ha ha ha.

You want to drag us into the

Woods because some waterlogged

Bean visited you--ha ha--

In a dream?!

Ah ha ha ha ha!

To find a rock?!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

It seemed so real.

Well, I believe him.

What?!

Me, too!

What about my plan to kick it

Here at acorn flats?

Anyone else care to join us?

Kick it here!

So, what does this...

[Panting]

Rock of hope look like anyway?

Phew!

I'm not quite sure.

But with a name like that,

How could we miss it?

Looks hopeful.

Ok, everyone,

Water break.

[Grunting]

[Gulping]

Ah!

[Gulping]

Ah!

[Inhales]

You know, lazlo,

When you first told me that a

Giant 50-foot talking bean rose

Up from leaky lake and told you

To seek this rock of hope,

I thought you were a little

Nuts.

But standing up here gazing down

Upon the majesty of this rocky

Gorge that seems to go on to

Oblivion--

Oblivion!

I think to myself that we

Made the right decision.

[Clanging]

[Crunch]

[Goat bleats]

We made the wrong decision!

We made the wrong decision!

How are we ever going to survive

Up here?!

Raj, calm down!

It's ok!

No, no, no, no!

It's my fault for having us

Set it down so close to

The edge.

It was kind of close.

Do you know where this rock

Of hope thing is?

Oblivion!

My gut tells me it's just

Over the next ridge.

So, how do we get over the

Next ridge?

We use dead miner's logging

Chute.

Well, then what are we

Waiting for?!

Let's go to the rock of hope!

Hurray!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, yeah!

This is the life, baby.

Yeah.

This is the closest I've ever

Been to actual fun.

Why can't we actually do the

Fun?

We're stray scouts, rember?

Chill, fellas.

We got it twice as good here as

We did at camp kidney.

All we have to do is cool our

Heels until they move us to one

Of those cushy camps where we

Can ride out the summer in

Style.

Why, yes!

I am looking at your brochure

Right now!

I--your camp is so clean!

Oh!

And the children,

They are gonna love these

Uniforms.

Oh!

Jackpot.

Yeah.

A new camp means a new start.

A new life!

What will my future hold?

I gots to know.

What the heck is an arithmalete?

Math camp?!

No!

No!

No!

No way, raj.

It should always be known as

Camp kidney.

But we need a fresh start,

And a brand new name would help.

What about another food group?

Camp...

Bana squash.

Too colorful.

What about camp

Brussels sprouts?

Yecch!

Camp kidney is an original.

And you don't mess with an

Original.

Aagh!

[Whimpering]

I love camp kidney exactly

The way it was.

And we need to put it back

Together that way.

Do you love clam?!

Raj!

Clam!

Aagh!

[Gasps]

Hold on, clam!

Toes can't hold on!

Don't let go, clam's toes!

Toes too...

Tired!

[Screaming]

[Yelling]

Hiya, clam.

Hi, patsy.

Clam, you're ok!

I heard a couple of bean

Scouts were trying to save camp

Kidney, and I thought they might

Need some help.

I'll say we needed help.

We needed you to save us from

Lazlo.

Clam almost not alive.

We almost fell into that

Gorge helping him look for some

Ridiculous rock of hope that

Some big bean told him about in

A dream.

But, raj, it was so real.

What if this rock doesn't

Exist, lazlo?

Then what?

I thought we were going to find

It on the other side of the

Gorge.

Well, where is it, lazlo?

Where is it?!

It's right over here.

Exactly.

It is right over there.

What?

Patsy, you did it!

You found it!

It's just like in my...

Dream?

Are you sure your dream

Didn't say pebble of hope,

Because we're not going to find

A rock here.

Oh.

I'm sorry, lazlo.

I didn't mean--

No, raj, I'm sorry.

I should have never put my

Friends in danger.

I just thought there was a

Chance to save camp kidney.

I just thought there was some

Hope.

Hope, hope!

Clam, you don't have to rub

It in.

Oh, no, no!

Lot's of hope!

Rock of hope!

What?!

The rock?

Where is it?

It's not a rock.

It's a plaque.

Loose gravel of hope,

Formerly the rock of hope.

[Gasps]

Look!

Wow!

Ooh!

It's the worldwide bean scout

Jamboree!

Come on, guys!

Let's go save camp kidn--

Aagh!

[Screaming]

How do we get in?

Maybe there's a password or

Something.

Hello.

What?!

What?!

Who is it?!

Oh, hi.

We're bean scouts from

Camp kidney.

Camp kidney?

I've never heard of camp kidney.

Save camp!

Plus, your uniforms are

Filthy.

They look like they have been

Handed down since napoleon.

This jamboree is for official

Bean scouts only.

Now, go away!

Listen, you, I just looked it up

On the registry, and your camp

Has been closed.

That's why we're here.

We demand to see the big bean.

Oh, the big bean.

[Laughs]

No one sees the big bean,

Especially dirty, fake,

Hand-me-down scouts like you.

[Laughs]

Are you gonna let us in

Or what?!

Hey!

What's with the pink-haired

Skirt?

He's from france.

From france?!

I'm from france!

Ok.

Come in quick, but don't touch

Anything.

Ooh!

Psst.

Quick, come with me.

I will help you get to the big

Bean.

Wow.

Look at all those super scouts.

They are so clean and well

Pressed.

Ooh!

That is skippy livingston,

The most decorated scout on

Earth.

Lots of medals.

This is where all the finest

Bean scouts in the world come to

Compete and show their skills.

Hey!

Look in that tent!

There's the ninjutsu kung-fu

Bok choy competion.

Oui, oui, yes.

And there's the armpit smelling

Competition, the juggle your own

Eyeballs competion,

And there's the stubbing your

Big toe against a brick wall

Competition--very painful.

Ow!

Ooh!

Toes!

Ok, travelers,

This is where I must take my

Leave of you.

The big bean palace lies at the

Top of these stairs.

Good luck.

Ha ha ha ha.

Thank you, mr. Snooty snail!

Bye, eye st*lks!

Math camp!

Math camp.

I can't believe I'd ever say

This, but I sure hope lazlo can

Save us.

[Snoring]

Math camp.

[Screaming]

[Panting]

[Screaming]

Lazlo?!

Hi, edward.

If you want to help me save camp

Kidney, listen carefully.

[Stammering]

I gotta tell the others!

[Panting]

Oh, wow!

What a palace!

Grade-a fancy!

Wow!

I'm suddenly feeling gassy.

It's the big bean!

[Mechanical breathing]

Mr. Big bean, rember me--

Lazlo?

He can't hear you from behind

That thick glass.

Lazlo, it's sounds to me like

The big bean could be

Suffocating behind there.

I think you're right, raj.

Mr. Big bean?!

Mr. Big bean?!

Uh-oh.

[Screaming]

Mr. Big bean, are you ok?

Hey!

He's not a big bean.

He's a little big bean.

Magnifying glass.

Aagh!

Hello?

Hey, watch it!

What do you think you're doing?!

Can't you see I was--

Holy cannoli!

What did you do to my window?

We thought you were--

Listen, I don't know how you

Vandals got in here, but I

Suggest you turn yourself around

And leave before you break

Something else.

Mr. Big bean, sir,

Can I say how happy I am to

Finally meet you--

Outside of my dreams, that is.

You're much smaller in person.

What?!

But when you came out of the

Lake and told me to find the

Rock of hope--

Wait a minute.

That was my cousin!

Your cousin?

Yes, clyde.

He hangs out in mountain lakes

Scaring campers, and I started

The bean scouts.

Does that mean you're not

Gonna save camp kidney?

Camp kidney?

Why would i--

Wait a minute.

There was something here about

Camp kidney that made me very

Happy.

Oh, yeah, here it is.

I shut it down!

Ha ha!

What?!

You shut it down?!

Aw, camp kidney was a dump.

A hand-me-down camp with misfit

Scouts in dirty hand-me-down

Uniforms.

Now, go home, I have work to do.

But, but...

We came all this way.

We believed in you.

It'll be all right, lazlo.

Hello.

[Muffled voice]

Is this the giant magnifying

Glass repair company?

Come on.

Let's go.

Mean bean!

I cannot leave.

[Sobbing]

Lazlo!

My tears are blinding me.

Here you go, pal.

Use my neckerchief.

I won't need it anymore.

[Sobs]

Lazlo...

There is something written on

The inside of your neckerchief.

Oh, yeah.

That was there when I first got

It.

"Let me take to my heart

Camp kidney,

A wonderland where summer runs

Free."

Where I laughed and I played

While my good parents paid

To let their child come of age

And be me.

Ha!

Steaming saffron!

Who wrote that hokey boloney!

[Sniffling]

I did.

You?!

You went to camp kidney?

But...

But where did you get my old

Neckerchief?

It was a camp kidney...

Hand-me-down.

After I built bigger and

Better bean scout camps, I grew

Ashamed of humble camp kidney.

And now I'm ashamed again.

[Honk]

Here.

Huh?

For me?

You mean I can have it?!

Why are we at the gates of

What used to be camp kidney?

Yeah?!

What's the deal?

I know this sounds crazy,

But I had a dream last night

That told me to gather everyone

At the gate and then I'll get

What I most desire.

I hope it's a voodoo drum!

[Horn honks]

There's something coming up

Over the hill!

Is it a voodoo drum?

No.

It's lazlo!

And raj, clam, and patsy.

And the camp!

[Cheering]

As head of all the bean

Scouts, it is my warm pleasure

To reopen camp kidney!

[Cheering]

Whatever.

And to honor the bravery of

These 3 bean scouts.

And squirrel scout.

And squirrel scout.

And for you, lazlo,

A new neckerchief.

"Property of h.m.d."

Who's h.m.d.?

Why, it's hand-me-down.

Ha ha ha ha.

[Laughter]

[







]

[Snoring]

[Stammering]

Huh?!

Are we there yet?

Oh, yeah.

We're there.

Camp kidney.

Oh.

Won't they ever tear this camp

Down?

Hey.

How's it going?

[Screams]

♪ By the wondrous

Leaky waters ♪

♪ And great

Mount white head ♪

♪ Stands the pretty good

Camp kidney ♪

♪ Not too bad all said

♪ Not the cleanest

♪ Not the smartest

♪ Not the best are we

♪ But

♪ Proud to be

The second best camp ♪

♪ Here on lake leaky