01x22 - Convoy Gold

[bunniefuu]

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a bold adventuring man ♪

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ Battled for right with a powerful hand ♪

♪ His blade was tempered and so was he ♪

♪ Indestructible steel was he

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a fighter, a fearless and mighty adventuring man ♪

[scuffling and glass breaking]

- Police, police!

- What were we fighting about?

What started that ruckus anyway?

- What started it?

An insult to our glorious president, Andrew Jackson.

Didn't you hear the filthy epithet that

was leveled at the dear good man, huh?

- Oh yeah, by that sea captain, he was the one.

- Ah, oui, monsieur, but I destroyed him.

Pow, pow, pow!

- You destroyed him? - You didn't destroy him!

- Get on you worm, you.

You stood with that grand little donnybrook

while it lasted, huh?

Well worth three days in the calaboose, huh?

- Three days?

Why the horse auction starts tomorrow!

- Ah, monsieur, without us I fear.

Breakage of the peace, three days!

- Oh, that's what I get for

bringing a horse thief and a pickpocket.

- A horse thief? - Monsieur!

- Do you know a better judge of horseflesh than Pat Donovan?

- Or a better guardian of money belt than Pierre Lamont?

- Yeah, I should've brought Mama, she can do both.

- Mr. Bowie?

- That's me.

- [Gregory] Captain Gregory, United States Cavalry.

- Hi.

- [Gregory] You will accompany me please, your fine is paid.

- By whom?

- I'm not at liberty to say.

- Accompany you where?

- To the Bank of the United States.

- Bank?

I don't know any bankers in Baton Rouge.

What's the army got to do with free-for-all in a tavern?

- I'm acting under orders, sir.

- Listen here, drummer boy,

can't you let a man enjoy a couple of days in jail

without interfering with his civil rights?

- Will you come with me now?

Or later with a corporal's guard?

- After you, Captain.

Goodnight boys, sleep tight.

- Night.

Ah, the poor poor man.

There he is now in the clutches of them bankers, huh?

Well, I tell you that, that spells trouble.

That spells black trouble.

[knocking]

- Mr. Bowie, this is Mr. John Andrews,

the president of this bank.

- Howdy.

- This is Jim Bowie, of Opelousas?

- Well, I guess I don't look much of a credit

to the boys of Opelousas, right now, but;

well anyway, it seems that I'm valuable enough

to be deposited in a bank.

[laughs]

- That's a matter of opinion.

- It was I who sent for you, Jim.

- [Jim] Marcel!

Marcel Bousson!

[talking over each other in foreign language]

- It's so nice to see you.

- Gentlemen, we're here on business.

- [Marcel] Please sit down, Jim.

- [Jim] Ah, thank you.

- Mr. Bousson and I are in disagreement

over the best way to transfer half a million dollars in gold

from here to his bank in New Orleans.

- Did he say your bank?

- Preposterous as it sounds, I am Vice President

of the United States Bank in New Orleans.

My wild days are over, Jim.

I am engaged to be married to Mademoiselle Gabrielle Remy,

the charming daughter of the chairman of our board.

- Well dog my cat, I mean congratulations.

- Mr. Boussan has proved himself a banker of intelligence;

and a gentleman of great integrity.

- Well if you're that good, how come your bank

needs half million in a hurry?

- Well, Louisiana is expanding, Jim.

Rapidly.

We have expanded with it; unfortunately--

- Yeah you've expanded a little too far.

- Oh not at all, our loans are all sound and collectable.

But, the misfortune is that, a rumor has started

that we are overextended.

- Yes, a rumor which would cause an avalanche of withdraws.

- You mean a run on the bank.

- That's why the gold must be in

New Orleans by Monday morning.

The difficulty is, is that the road from here to there

is infested with Murrell and his bandits.

- What's this, this disagreement between you two?

- It's very simple, Mr. Andrews wants the Army

to convoy the gold; I want you to take it.

- You want me to-- oh no.

Why me?

- Well I say that the army convoying a wagon-full of gold

is an open invitation to Murrell.

- We can handle Murrell.

- The army convoyed a few wagons full of g*ns last month,

what happened to it, Captain?

- We lost five troopers.

- Well what else, Captain?

- And Murrell sold the g*ns and ammunition to the Indians.

- Jim, if the gold belonged to you,

how would you transport it?

- If it belonged to me,

well,

well I tell you.

I'd get an ex-horse-thief, and an ex-pickpocket out of jail,

and with their help I'd slip it along the bayou

down to New Orleans by water.

- Absolutely not.

Two jailbirds, and this, this--

- Gentlemen, Mr. Andrews,

regardless of Mr. Bowie's appearance,

he's a man of importance.

Why he owns a plantation in Opelousas,

over which 800 acres are planted to cotton,



Why last year he made 15 thousand dollars trading in furs,

and the previous year eight thousand in sulfur.

- Alright, so he's a man of substance, but I still--

- In Natchez two years ago he speculated a number,

made a tidy profit of 25 thousand dollars.

Right mon ami?

- That's very thorough Marcel, very thorough;

but Mr. Andrews thinks this is a job for the army,

and I think he's right.

Besides, I came down here to buy horses.

- Jim, what if this gold does belong to you?

Why you own stock in our bank,

and so does your mother, and your brother Rezin.

- Yeah, I guess we do.

- Alright, so you could afford to

take a loss if the bank failed;

but what of the depositors, what about all those who

have entrusted us with their few spare dollars?

- Alright.

I'll take your gold.

- Now, now, now, just a moment.

- In that case you will not need the services of

the United States Army.

Goodnight gentlemen.

- As a matter of fact, Captain, I do need your help.

You see, my plan would be to take the gold down

to New Orleans by boat, why at the same time,

the Army was convoying something else.

Oh, say, oh maybe some iron washers.

- [Marcel] Magnificent.

- You, you mean the convoyed wagon would serve

as a decoy to keep Murrell busy while you slip

quietly through the bayous with the gold?

- That'd be the general idea.

- The United States Cavalry will convoy no iron washers.

- Captain Gregory, the Army gave me the right

to commandeer your services.

I think Mr. Bowie's idea is feasible.

You'll please make arrangements to convoy the washers.

[men laugh quietly]

[soft music and crickets chirping]

♪ Once a thief, always a thief

♪ So the old old legend goes

♪ The smell of gold makes a thief grow old ♪

♪ He will steal it right from under your nose ♪

♪ For once a thief, always a thief ♪

♪ He will never change his ways ♪

♪ For he slips and falls when temptation calls ♪

♪ It's a call he always obeys

♪ So be wary friend, of a light-fingered friend ♪

♪ In the end you'll come to grief ♪

♪ You'll be left to nurse your empty purse ♪

♪ For once a thief

♪ Always a thief

- Shame on you, Pierre, shame on you;

after Mr. Bowie been so nice to you,

getting you out of jail and all,

and here you are, back--

- Did he not get you of the jail too, monsieur?

- Yes, yes he did.

- Then our gratitude should be equal, no?

- Yes, yes it should.

Alright then, just two little sacks huh?

One for you and one for me.

Them filthy rich bankers will never miss 'em.

- First I cut the rope, it would be very unkind

to disturb Monsieur Bowie's sleep.

- True, true.

- Will you hurry up, will you.

- Now, the gold.

- Well now look at this.

- There we are Jim boy, drop that weapon of yours, Jim.

- I give you fellas honest employment,

I get you out of jail;

this is my reward?

- It was your own fault, Jimmy me boy,

you shouldn't have put temptation in our way.

You know, you know the sort of wee characters we are.

- Oh, oui monsieur, was not the act of a true friend.

- Now let that be a lesson to you, Jimmy me boy.

Never trust a pickpocket.

Now, now I, I think that'll be enough now Pierre.

- Hey what kind of small-time thieves are you, anyway?

If you're gonna steal, steal.

Take 'em all, take every sack.

- Jim, we're not greedy or nothing.

- Moment, moment.

Monsieur Bowie has a very interesting point there;

let us compromise, one more sack.

- No, no, no. - Please, please.

More potatoes for you,

more tomatoes for me. - No, I--

- Hmm?

That's a very persuasive tongue you have Pierre.

Alright then, just one more little sack.

[grunting with effort]

- [Pat] What, no!

[laughing]

- [Pat] Help!

[water splashing]

- Alright, fellas, start diving;

and bring up every one of those sacks.

- Oh, monsieur, it is cold down there!

- Nevermind, in you go.

- [Pierre] Monsieur...

- That's the last of them, I hope.

- [Jim] How's the water?

[grunting and groaning]

- [Pierre] It's cold!

- I don't suppose you have a, a drop of--

- Oh you two can get warm breaking camp,

I'm shoving off right away.

- Oh, monsieur, alone, monsieur?

- Oh, you think I should trust you again?

- That, that was only a temporary lapse of ours.

Look, we've it all out of our system now Jim.

- Well, I'll think about while you're breaking camp.

Come on, pack up.

- Go on, do you want us to freeze to death?

- [Pierre] The blankets, they're gone!

[scuffling and grunting]

- Tie them up!

- Alas, the bandit Murrell is long away from here by now,

with our half million!

- Murrell?

We'd be dead not tied up if it was Murrell.

- Well if it wasn't Murrell, who was it then?

- Nevermind, let's get out of here.

Maybe we can catch 'em up on foot.

- Ah, you're taking us along then, huh?

- You have the goodness to forgive us, monsieur.

- I don't know about that, I may need you.

- [Pierre] Oh, monsieur.

[soft music and birds chirping]

- They are mad.

- What, what're they doing that for?

- Maybe it's more convenient for 'em

to come back for it later.

If only I could get to New Orleans,

might be able to find out what this is all about.

- Why can't you get to New Orleans?

- Who'd guard the gold?

- Oh, monsieur, give us another chance.

I swear by the bon Dieu, we would not disappoint you.

- On me mother's honor, Jimmy boy.

- Ah, well, by the bon Dieu, and your mother's honor,

I'll give you another chance.

- Ah, bless you Jimmy boy.

Look, you'll never regret this.

- We would be too busy being eaten alive to disappoint you.

- Well that's what I figured.

[Men arguing]

- Marcel, we shall have to call the police.

Who could have been viscous enough to start the rumor

that our branch is overextended?

- [Marcel] I cannot imagine, sir.

I, I...

Why, Jim!

Why you got, you got through the bayou.

- Yeah, I got through it all right.

- May I present my future father-in-law,

Monsieur Remy, Mr. James Bowie.

- Mr. Remy.

- Where is the gold?

- It's gone, sir.

My friends and I fought like catamounts, but...

- You mean it was stolen?

- Every bag.

- Murrell, of course.

- Maybe.

Believe me, Marcel, I know what this gold means to us,

and those people outside, all I can say is I'm sorry.

- Sorry!

I don't know which of you is the most to blame;

you for being so careless,

or you for making such a ridiculous suggestion.

- Well don't blame me.

As for Bowie being careless--

[knocking]

- [Gregory] Open up, Captain Gregory.

- Where do you want your washers sir?

- Put them on the table.

Well the crowd is quieting down.

- [Mr. Remy] For that at least, we can be thankful.

- Did you have any trouble on the way, Captain?

- Murrell attacked us but we fought him off.

- But you said Murrell attacked you.

- No I didn't, I said someone did.

Marcel said Murrell.

- Don't tell me the great Jim Bowie lost the gold.

- I'm not so sure he lost it.

- What're you implying, Marcel?

- It would've taken more than half a dozen bandits

to take that gold away from you;

therefore, it follows--

- Therefore it follows that I still have it,

is that what you mean?

- Yes.

- That's a bad guess, Marcel, and you can't back it up.

- Well I think I can.

Arrest him, Captain.

- Just a minute, I got something to say here.

- Then you had better say it quickly,

Bousson and I have much to do before we open the bank.

- You checked on me so thoroughly,

I thought I'd do a little checking on you.

- Oh?

- You ever hear of anyone called Rene Cordet?

- Listen, Jim, if this is one of your tricks--

- You sure you never heard of Rene Cordet?

- Of course, I'm sure!

- I think you outta know sir, that a Monsieur Rene Cordet,

booked passage for himself and a certain young lady

on a ship sailing for Spain the day after tomorrow.

- Oh, enough of this nonsense.

Arrest him.

- No, wait, wait.

- The captain of the ship described this Monsieur Cordet

as looking exactly like Marcel.

- Really Jim, this is not funny.

- No I don't think it's very funny either.

The captain also said that Monsieur Cordet

booked space for several heavy boxes,

which he said would contain very valuable cargo.

- This is intolerable.

- Go on, Mr. Bowie.

Who is this certain lady?

- Well, I regret to tell you sir,

that it is not Mademoiselle Remy, your daughter,

to whom Marcel is engaged.

The young lady's name is Blanca Alvarez, the Spanish dancer.

- If this is true, Marcel--

- You're mad Bowie.

- Not mad enough to leave a half a million

at the bottom of a bayou.

- At the bottom of a bayou?

- Yes sir, my two friends,

the jailbirds as Mr. Andrews calls them,

are even now slapping mosquitoes on the bank of that bayou;

where the sacks that you had stolen are lying under water.

- It's not true!

- Come to think of it, they'll be mighty surprised when

they find that all they're guarding

are some sacks of iron washers.

[gold clattering]

- But I...

I had the gold all the time.

- I told you this was a job for the Army, Captain.

As soon as you get your breath back,

I think you should arrest him.

- [Gregory] I think you're right.

- Jabot!

- Yes, monsieur?

Don't anyone move.

[g*n firing]

- Gentlemen, please, the gold.

- We are not fighting over a little ballerina now.

So you better call on your favorite saint.

- They're all my favorites, Marcel;

and you know what made me first suspect you?

I didn't make 25 thousand dollars in Natchez,

it was in Memphis, and I lost it.

Such carelessness from a banker.

So I told Mr. Andrews to switch the loads.

[cries out in pain]

Hey,

where have I seen this before?

Howdy fellas.

Cargo all safe and sound, I suppose.

- But of course, monsieur, every sou.

- Well the banks very grateful to us.

In fact, the board chairman is so grateful

he says that we can keep 30 percent of everything

that's in those sacks.

- Huh? - Huh?

- You wouldn't expect bankers to be that generous,

would you?

- That's [sputtering] 50 thousand dollars apiece.

That's my pub.

- That's my palace.

- Here.

[Jim laughing]

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a fighter, a fearless, and mighty, adventuring man ♪